Latest / Cumberland Trace Church of Christ (Formerly Lehman Ave Church of Christ) / Parenting Seminar 2026 - "Biblical Dynamics of Family: Beginning" by Glenn Hitchcock

Transcript

Parenting Seminar 2026 - "Biblical Dynamics of Family: Beginning" by Glenn Hitchcock · Cumberland Trace Church of Christ (Formerly Lehman Ave Church of Christ)

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  She and I have this ongoing
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  competition, uh, in Rummikub,
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  and for a while I'm just always winning.
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  And she said, well, you know, the tide will turn soon,
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  and it has. I haven't beaten her in Rummikub in a while, so after
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  last night I was feeling good enough to challenge her and Well,
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  after talking about submission, I submitted to her will. I lost.
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  We're glad you're with us here today. If you were not with us last night,
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  the basis of last night's lesson was on submission.
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  We talked about great— the great family of
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  God from the standpoint of marriage,
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  the importance of submission in the role of marriage and how that
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  in submission, the members of the family
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  first submit to God, then they submit
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  to one another out of love
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  for the Lord, in the spirit of Christ.
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  Not that the husband, who is the initiator of love in the relationship—
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  he is the head of the house, God is the head of the house,
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  but he is the initiator, The husband is the initiator of love in
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  the house, and he is placed there
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  by God because we
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  mentioned that Eve took the lead and usurped the authority,
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  and God took it away from Eve,
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  which she never had, and gave it to her equal,
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  who is her husband, and he would rule over her.
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  Not because she's less than, not because she's kind of
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  ignorant or anything like that. Far from the case.
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  Because she is his equal. She's just
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  as smart as you are, guys. Probably knows a lot
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  more than we'll ever know. And yet,
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  you are the head of the house, the initiator of love and
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  relationship. Everything starts with you. You as
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  you receive commands from
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  the Almighty. So God generates families,
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  and our seminar today is based upon the concept
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  of the Christian family, where Christ
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  indeed is the head of our families,
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  and we take our submissive roles before
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  him And because of him. And everything that
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  we do is because of our relationship to him. And thus, when it
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  comes to our children and when it comes to our spouses,
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  we are there by relationship and not
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  ownership. It's hard for me to imagine this,
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  but there are so many who believe that, well, these are my kids and I
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  can do anything with them. No, you can't. Oh, that's my
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  wife and I do her and I married her and I can— no, you can't.
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  These relationships are
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  vouched by God, bonded by God, and it's a matter of your
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  relationship to your children. It's a matter of your
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  relationship to your wife. It's a matter of your relationship to your husband.
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  You don't have them by ownership.
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  You have them by relationship.
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  As a matter of fact, when I think of
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  kids, especially when I was dealing with some folks that were kind of
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  in an abusive setting, they often thought of their kids as what I
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  call TCK kids, trophy case kids,
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  by ownership. I bring them out when I want
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  to display them before you, and let you see how beautiful they are and all
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  that stuff, but when I close the door, I can do with them whatever I
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  want to do. And in our kids program,
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  and the spouse abuse shelters, and things like that,
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  there were a lot of so-called trophy case kids there.
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  Little did the parents know that these are not TCK
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  kids, they are GBG
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  kids, gifted but
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  And as gifts of God, I happen
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  to know that my child— and I say my child accommodatingly,
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  knowing that I'm a steward of God's gift
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  of this child— is in my hands to take
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  care of, to preach and live good news before
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  her or him, in the presence of God,
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  to God's glory, that one day
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  she or he might turn around and do the same thing
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  for the gift that God would gift them with one day,
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  another child. That's the basis of the Christian
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  experience known as the Christian family.
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  God gifts— gifted us these
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  children. And as such,
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  just like we should see each other, we see
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  our children as a soul who happens
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  to be in a body, rather than a body
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  who happens to have a soul.
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  What makes them precious They're
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  in the image of God. They have an eternal soul.
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  And as stewards of that eternal— of their eternal destiny,
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  by reason of our teaching and discipline and demonstrating
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  before them how we live our lives,
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  they will either choose heaven or
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  choose hell. They're only going to
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  repeat what you give them, what you feed into them.
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  And so that's kind of a little snippet of
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  what we talked about last night. Gotta get busy today because
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  I got a lot of work to— well, I say a lot to cover,
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  but, uh, we're trying to see as far, as far
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  as we can get today. We want to talk about, uh, the beginning of family.
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  And before I do that, might there be any questions from last night's discussion?
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  Okay, I don't think— well, you told me last night, well, we're so tired,
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  we don't want to ask you anything. Wait until today.
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  That's what you told me, so I'm gonna be watching.
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  When we talk about, uh,
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  biblical families, we're talking about
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  relating to or being in accord with the Bible—
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  biblical families. When we talk about dynamics, we're talking
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  about characteristics or manner of an interaction,
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  a certain behavior.
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  A group of people— family is a group of people who are closely
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  related to one another by blood, marriage, or adoption.
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  So here's our model for discussion
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  in the stages of family. There are 6 dynamic features
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  of the Christian family. I gave an overview last night.
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  We're going to hit the beginning this morning, Lord willing.
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  The beginning: God's providence to
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  give us structure in our families. The bubble:
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  protection in the family where our kids grow and bond
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  and find security in the home. The boundaries: the parameters
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  set based upon submission and the scriptures.
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  The behavior, parenting, and their submission to God as they
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  relate to their children and to each other, as well as the world and in
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  the church. This is what the importance of being in a Christian family,
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  in a Christian home. And the benefit, the promotion, uh, the succession
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  of promotion. Eventually our kids are going to leave us,
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  and you may say, oh, that'll be a great day, that's wonderful.
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  Well, And then the byproduct— they will take
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  on the role that you took on when you were gifted a child.
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  It starts all over again. This, I believe,
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  constitutes 6 dynamic features of the Christian family.
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  And so I want to talk about the beginning, in the formative years, where we
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  began to look at how God put this family together.
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  God made man in his own image. So God created man in his
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  own image. In the image of God he created him; male and female
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  he created them. Then God blessed them, and God said
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  to them, be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion
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  over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, over every living
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  thing that moves on the earth. And in the formation of
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  families, therefore, we have the basis for that, the scriptures
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  of God. I noticed this is That's going fine. That's going crazy over
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  there. That's getting me going. Don't look at that. Just look at this.
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  Okay, so God said concerning— thank
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  you. God said concerning family, it's not good that man should be alone.
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  So God brought forth mom and dad. A man
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  shall leave his father and mother, his family, and be joined to his
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  wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24. And forth.
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  Genesis 3:16, the woman would
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  bring forth children and her desire would
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  be for her husband. All this, remember from
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  last night, family came about in this beginning.
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  Their structure, the family structure, was intentionally
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  gifted by God, and I can't emphasize that enough.
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  God gifted us with children.
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  God gifted you with your husband. God gifted you
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  with your wife. What God therefore
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  has joined together, let not man do what? Don't put
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  us under a separate. Why? Because God provided
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  that husband to you. He may be a mean old windbag,
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  but you chose him. And she may not do everything you want
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  her to do, but you chose her. What brings it together where
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  there is some peace and harmony in the family are the scriptures of God
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  through submission. And again, we talked about that last night.
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  This beginning as provided by
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  God is a structure of submission, therefore, to God.
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  It is a structure of bonding and unity, and we're going to talk about these
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  individuals It's a structure of interdependence and autonomy.
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  The family is a structure of industry. You know, we get
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  busy, we work, we labor, and we work
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  with one another in the family of God. So I want to look
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  first at the structure intentionally gifted by God. You know,
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  in Psalm 27, the Bible tells us
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  about the first stage of form— formation.
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  Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who builds
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  it. That's the beginning.
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  It starts with God. It did not start when
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  you said I do and you decided we're going to build the house.
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  It started when you said I do before God with your— in your marriage vows,
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  and you trusted God to help you in your
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  marriage. One of the things I learned when I first became
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  a husband, a Christian husband. I first obeyed the
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  gospel. After I married Christ, I married
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  Mercedes. I did not have the kind
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  of experience that she had coming up in a Christian home.
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  My home was completely different, and all that I learned
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  about the Christian home I learned through the scriptures and the demonstration of
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  my wife and her family and the Church of Christ.
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  And I will still tell you that today, the greatest families
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  in the world are located in the Church of Christ.
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  Yeah, like I said last night, family is like chocolate
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  fudge— real sweet, but there are a few nuts. But don't, don't concentrate
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  on the nuts. Stay with that which is smooth. Stay with
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  that which unites. And so God gives us
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  a beginning, and I was able to just monitor and watch Faithful
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  elders and deacons took my wife
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  and myself under their wings. We were inside
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  homes eating,
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  enjoying one another's company, helping to work
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  with their kids when we had no kids. But we saw, well,
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  we won't do that, you know, look at that. But we learned
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  structure. How to
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  give focus and attention to
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  godly examples in the home.
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  Whenever you have God's people,
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  know that God is providing. And the key, the key
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  thing to remember about this— well, let me, let me deviate just for a second.
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  To those who will say, and I've had a few Brothers and
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  sisters from time to time that will tell me, well, God's no longer providing for
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  us. And I'll say, don't be a Mrs. Job.
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  Because see, that was her problem. When material things were
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  taken away, and when certain family members were taken
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  away, you know what Mrs. Job said?
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  I know you know. But basically she
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  said, God's not providing anymore. Why don't we just curse God and die?
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  Uh-uh. Look at the positive example of Mrs. Job. She should tell
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  us God provides for our families. Amen?
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  God will always provide for our families because it's not what, what you
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  lost in your family that matters. It's what you have
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  left. What did Job have left?
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  His integrity, his relationship
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  to God, He did not see his children as being
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  property. He saw his relationship
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  to God more important than anything else, and he
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  knew that God would still provide for his family.
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  Listen, today God's providing for your
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  family in ways that maybe you don't see. Hopefully before this
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  seminar is over with though, you, you shall see it.
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  Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.
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  God not only provides for our families, he extends our families
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  in various ways. He protects our family.
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  That's more about the bubble that we'll talk about later on.
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  It's in vain— it is vain for you to rise up, sit up
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  late, to eat the bread of sorrows, For so he gives his beloved sleep.
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  Home should be a place of rest.
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  Y'all found that out last night after listening to me, didn't you? You went home
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  and got some rest. That's a resting place. It's a bubble.
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  It's a safe haven for all members regardless
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  of what we think of each other. You know, if you go home
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  and prepare to go to bed And you have a discussion that leads
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  to an argument with your wife, settle it before you go to bed. Don't let
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  the sun go down on your wrath or your anger. Why? God has
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  extended a place of rest called home where
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  we ought to be able to refresh, renew,
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  reform, and live
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  in peace. What happened?
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  Did I go
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  too far? Okay, yeah.
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  And children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb
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  is his reward. Brethren,
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  God continues to gift us with the
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  gift of children.
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  God's gift of children. Should be
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  a welcome opportunity.
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  Now, all kids aren't the same.
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  Although they're gifts, they don't unwrap all at the same time.
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  Some of them unwrap a little later, and some you want to unwrap sooner,
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  but they won't unwrap. But you gotta hang in there.
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  Isn't that right? You know, I can only tell
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  you this. Like my daughter told her
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  coworker 2 days ago, her coworker is dealing
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  with a— what was it, Mercedes? Was it
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  a 21-year-old or 19-year-old child? 19. And she said, I can't—
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  she just won't come around. She just won't come around. And Lauren told her,
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  well, I can tell you from experience, you just got to be patient.
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  My parents were patient with me. I was— And it wasn't
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  until it clicked on for me. And so she said, there's hope,
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  I can assure you. My parents taught me that.
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  Parents, there's hope for your child.
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  There's hope for the behavior that they display. And we'll talk about that.
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  Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of our youth.
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  Aim it and train our children.
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  They may be sharp as an arrow, but if we're not aiming and training
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  them to the goal of heaven, then we
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  have wasted God's precious gift.
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  And happy is the man who has his quiver full of them.
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  Arranging and perpetuating family
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  is what the Christian home is all about.
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  They shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with
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  their enemies in the gate.
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  God help us to sustain our homes.
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  We have to know and understand this is all intentionally
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  gifted by God that we can sustain,
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  perpetuate, arrange, aim, and train our
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  children as well as one another.
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  As we're training our children, we're training each other,
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  spouses. My way and
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  your way should be God's way, and if it's
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  not, let's work on making it that. That's what submission is all about.
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  There's also structure through submission to God's word and Again, kind of
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  what we talked about last night. All of us on our own can judge our
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  own wealth or poverty by the relationship that we have with others.
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  We are chosen to be rich through good relationships.
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  The spiritual man is concerned about other individuals.
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  Submit yourselves one to another in the fear of God. We talked about this last
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  night. Everyone, regardless of our relationship, must be based on love
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  for the Lord. If I don't love the Lord, then I'm not going to submit.
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  I must learn to love Jesus. The structure of
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  submission comes from God through
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  the scriptures. It's a great mystery, but God is comparing our
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  relationship to his relationship to the church that
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  involves a relationship of sacrifice, a relationship
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  of service. Why? Because he loved
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  God enough to do for us what we couldn't do for ourselves.
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  So this structure of submission, our responsibility to Christ,
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  therefore in the church, is parallel to
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  the responsibility of the husband and wife. We submit because
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  we love the Lord. We submit to one another because of love
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  for the Lord. The husband submits to the wife because of love
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  for the Lord. The wife submits to the husband because of the
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  love of the Lord.
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  And members submit to elders because of the love of
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  the Lord. And so everyone
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  comes with baggage. Find someone who
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  loves you enough to help you unpack.
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  That's what the Christian family is all about. Family is
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  all about— helping each other, including our children,
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  to unpack what needs to be unpacked, or to
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  unwrap what needs to be unwrapped. It is a structure
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  of imperfection and dependent trust.
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  Listen, when you sign on
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  to obey the gospel, you sign
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  what's known as a declaration of dependence,
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  not independence, but dependence on
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  God, to walk by faith, not by
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  sight. The same is true in your family.
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  We must have a declaration of dependency on God,
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  to trust him by faith, to train
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  our children to train our husbands, to train
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  our wives in the fear of God because we
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  love God and we love each other.
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  Amen. So submission is a choice, not top-down
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  but bottom-up. So let's talk about
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  the structure of bonding. Any questions?
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  Okay, let's talk about the structure of bonding and unity.
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  The story of Ruth and Naomi serves as a
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  powerful example of the strength of family bonds. In the face of tremendous loss
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  and adversity, Ruth remained steadfast in her loyalty and devotion to her mother-in-law,
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  demonstrating the power of familial love and commitment.
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  Ephesians 5:25 calls upon husbands to love their wives
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  as Christ loved the church, a standard that extends to all family
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  members. This support system builds resilience and fosters a sense of belonging
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  and bonding. This is a source of unconditional
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  love, encouragement, and comfort. Bonding time should
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  be your most treasured time, and it takes
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  place in the structure
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  of the family.
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  Family bonding time— what does that mean?
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  The acrostic of time, treasuring intimate
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  memories eternally. When I
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  think of all the times when we were gifted our child,
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  how did we wait so long? How did
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  we wade through a number of losses trying to be parents?
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  I can recall the very moment that we became
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  parents. And what a tremendous relief
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  that was, and the bonding that took place. As a matter of fact,
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  my wife— oh, look, she may get upset
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  when I say this— she took
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  Lauren, went into
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  the nursery, closed the door, and wouldn't let me in until the next day.
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  They were bonding. She was nurturing,
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  breastfeeding her and all, and she just wanted that
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  time with her. And after the years of losing
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  babies and all, my wife was a baby's
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  mom, and they wanted that bonding time.
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  And I remember it as though it was yesterday, and I'm sure you can say
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  the same thing for yours. And so bonding time,
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  Now, I probably shouldn't have put this up here, but I
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  remember many of the bonding years with my grandparents.
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  My family involved the extended family. If it
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  were not for my grandparents, both of them lived to be
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  at least 100 years old, and one,
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  her mother was 110. And so I lived
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  with folks that were generations earlier than I ever was.
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  But as we were bonding with them, these are some of the quaint sayings
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  that they would say to us about materialism. They'd say, there's plenty
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  of cheese in the mousetrap, son, but you never see a happy mouse
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  there. I didn't forget that.
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  When it comes to people, she said, some people are like porcupines. They have
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  a lot of good points, but guess what? You can't always get close to them.
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  I remember that. I use that in my lessons
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  sometimes. I just used it here, didn't I?
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  There are no ugly babies.
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  I wanted to argue with her about that, but she
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  wouldn't let me. Integrity.
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  She used to say, you can be groomed, plumed, and perfumed,
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  but still stink in the nostrils of God. What do you
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  mean by that? Well,
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  when you tell a lie, you can dress it up and make it pass
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  to a lot of people, but you can't make it pass with God.
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  So she taught us about integrity. These are bonding memories
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  that I had without my mom and dad, but with my grandmother or
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  grandfather, or my auntie or uncle, or so on.
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  And then sorrows and difficulties. She said, if you expect it— and we talked about
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  this a little bit last night— if you expect to go to the Promised Land,
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  you would have to go through the wilderness. And again,
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  families are like chocolate fudge, real sweet with a few nuts.
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  These are some of my fond memories. My oldest
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  grandparent, like I said, was 110.
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  She would rub along the edge of her fingernails,
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  and every now and then she'd do this.
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  And when I asked her how she's doing, she said, baby,
• 26:58
  I'm a little rough around the edges, her arthritis,
• 27:03
  but the Lord holds my corners, her dementia.
• 27:07
  She knew enough to know that God was
• 27:10
  in control of whatever time she had left. Through aches and pains,
• 27:14
  she taught us it's not about the loss of health that
• 27:18
  matters. It's not about the loss of wealth that matters.
• 27:22
  It's what truly is And for her,
• 27:27
  these are some of my bonding moments.
• 27:32
  So it's also a structure of interdependence and autonomy.
• 27:37
  Parents can create a nurturing and loving environment where family
• 27:41
  members feel connected and supported. Open and honest communication
• 27:45
  allows family members to express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns, leading to
• 27:49
  better understanding and resolution of conflicts. Of conflicts.
• 27:52
  Where Christ is the head of the home, establish a culture
• 27:56
  of love and respect within the household. To set aside quality
• 28:01
  time for family activities— that's
• 28:06
  saying a mouthful, isn't it? Say amen when you can.
• 28:09
  Making memories and celebrating rituals and traditions.
• 28:14
  Every holiday around Christmas.
• 28:20
  In my family, we would put together
• 28:24
  a jigsaw puzzle,
• 28:28
  and as we complete the jigsaw puzzle, the oldest members of
• 28:32
  our family, they would put the corner pieces in and
• 28:36
  would initial it, and in some cases they would sign it.
• 28:41
  We knew what their handwriting looked like because it was on the backside of that
• 28:44
  puzzle. We'll flip the puzzle over,
• 28:47
  we'll seal it, flip it over, put a front
• 28:51
  page important news event from that year,
• 28:57
  and if there's a child that was born, we will put their handprint or footprint
• 29:00
  on the back of that puzzle with either
• 29:04
  a silver dollar or a dollar bill and seal that puzzle up.
• 29:10
  And when that child graduates from high school, guess what they
• 29:14
  get? They get that puzzle.
• 29:17
  And I have a Zane Grey puzzle.
• 29:22
  And my wife and I, when we
• 29:26
  were too broke to go out and spend a lot of money back then,
• 29:30
  we worked on puzzles. We got to
• 29:34
  know each other working on those puzzles. Bonding time,
• 29:38
  being able to just celebrate rituals and traditions.
• 29:42
  And every Christmas, somebody in our family had a baby,
• 29:47
  and we have a puzzle waiting for that child.
• 29:51
  Later on in my ministry, uh,
• 29:54
  when family members— now I'm not recommending y'all do this because
• 29:58
  Neil and Irm, y'all may go broke.
• 30:01
  Every new baby would get a silver dollar from the preacher.
• 30:06
  And I would order them from the men. Family had a newborn child
• 30:10
  in there, I'd give them a silver dollar, and they'd give me a picture of
• 30:13
  their newborn baby. And on my bulletin board in my office
• 30:18
  were all these beautiful pictures of these children.
• 30:21
  And I still have those pictures. Now those children,
• 30:24
  a lot of them are your ages, or even older probably. But they
• 30:30
  grew up. And when they grow up, they call and
• 30:34
  say, Brother Hitchcock, I need to ask you something. And I say, what?
• 30:38
  Jason, is that you? How'd you know?
• 30:42
  Jason, I know you. I'm your dad. I got your picture on my board,
• 30:45
  son. What do you need? And we'll
• 30:48
  talk and deal with situations that
• 30:51
  may be in his life and all. And they're growing up,
• 30:56
  they don't play the gospel, they have kids, and a lot of them are at
• 31:00
  the Peninsula Church now. You know, we returned there in 2017, but that's a
• 31:04
  different story. And, and some of those same children
• 31:08
  whose pictures were up on our board are members in our congregation.
• 31:12
  One of them's one of our deacons. But making memories,
• 31:18
  celebrating rituals, can lead to other things. We'll talk more about that
• 31:22
  later. But a structure of industry— each member of the family should
• 31:25
  know and respect the value of work and
• 31:29
  initiate, as initiated through parents.
• 31:34
  Sure, child labor is positive, by the way. Colossians 3:20,
• 31:39
  it's positive. Should be.
• 31:42
  Daily chores, that's positive. Memory work,
• 31:46
  positive. Schoolwork, positive. Prayer talk,
• 31:50
  positive. Church work, very positive. Integrating these
• 31:55
  into your child's lives will help them, especially when we get to the behavior
• 31:59
  part. Sometimes they're too busy to act out because they've got commitments
• 32:03
  that they have to do. A lot of kids act out because they
• 32:07
  just don't have anything to do.
• 32:10
  You know, we treat them Like
• 32:13
  trophy case kids, we know we can give them materialism and they'll
• 32:17
  be happy, we think. But that's not true.
• 32:21
  They're not trophy case kids.
• 32:24
  They're gifts from God. They need more than
• 32:28
  materialism. They need something spiritual that will challenge them and keep
• 32:32
  them employed in the industry of
• 32:36
  serving and glorifying God Almighty.
• 32:39
  I don't get a lot of amens on that, but I'm telling you,
• 32:43
  that's where it is.
• 32:47
  Well, work is not a bad word, folks.
• 32:51
  And that's the beginning of family. That's family.
• 32:57
  What questions do you have? I know that was kind of
• 33:01
  quick, but I'm coming up on the other one here too. So when you think
• 33:04
  of families, Family represents
• 33:08
  father and mother in love.
• 33:12
  And when that's the case, God sees it, he always says
• 33:16
  yes. That's my view of family.
• 33:20
  Fathers and mothers in love, as affirmed by God,
• 33:24
  God will say yes to that. That's the structure
• 33:28
  of families. Children are a
• 33:32
  gift. Gifted by God, when you don't treat them
• 33:35
  like trophy case kids with a lot of gaming
• 33:39
  and money and all that other foolishness we throw
• 33:43
  at our kids— yeah, I said it's foolishness. You don't like it, you can see
• 33:46
  Neil afterwards. But it's something that
• 33:50
  we need to examine very carefully and closely.
• 33:53
  You say, well, I want to challenge their minds. Yeah, but challenge their spiritual
• 34:00
  line also. Most of the games I've been seeing, they don't challenge the spiritual line.
• 34:03
  I'll just say it right up. We need to
• 34:07
  challenge their spiritual lines.
• 34:12
  Okay, well,
• 34:17
  that's coming up on the ball is my next one.
• 34:21
  You want to take a break
• 34:25
  Yeah, listen, let's take a break. Before we do that, let's have a closing prayer.
• 34:28
  Gracious God, our Father in heaven, we thank thee for the
• 34:32
  structure of our family, for the scriptures to help us to guide our family,
• 34:36
  Father, and for submissive fathers and mothers and children
• 34:40
  who comply to thy holy precepts,
• 34:44
  Father. Help us to treat our children as your gift
• 34:50
  and not as some tinker toy. Help us, Father, to love one another.
• 34:54
  Bless our families, Father, as we work together to deal with
• 34:58
  each other and our children, that heaven will be our home. In Jesus' name,
• 35:03
  amen. Let's take a little break and we'll be back shortly.