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How to Speak With Authority as a Young Advisor (Without Knowing Everything) · Root Ready

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to go ahead and go out on a limb and say the single biggest thing that is on most young advisors' minds is how do I gain more credibility and authority in the eyes of my client?
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Now typically where your mind's going to go is I can get more designations, I can get more answers, I can get more experience, and all those things are great.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: But there's a quicker, faster path to authority with your clients.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: By the way, this goes for young advisors, old advisors, everything in between.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: And once you start to learn this, it's something that can very quickly accelerate the authority you have, both the true authority and the perceived authority in the eyes of your clients.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a very simple thing, and it is simply the power of your speech.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm not just talking about the words that you use, I'm talking about the way in which you say those words.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because you and I can say the same exact sentence, and one of us might build trust while the other erodes trust.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: And it has nothing to do with the words themselves in some instances, and everything to do with the way you speak them, the tone in which you speak them, the pace at which you speak them.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: And today's episode is all about that.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: How can you learn to speak better, to communicate better, and not just saying go take a speaking class, but what are some practical tips and practical things that you can do to learn to speak effectively and with authority?
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you look at any major influential character throughout history, one of the single biggest things that defines their influence is how could they communicate?
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Your influence with your clients is going to come down to how well can you communicate.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: And we're going to go over some very simple tips and strategies that you can immediately begin to implement to become a better speaker.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Before jumping in, let's set the context, let's set the stage here.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: You think that your job is to be the expert.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: You think that your job is to give the advice.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: But as advisors, we are actually professional communicators.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Not saying you need to be on a stage communicating, speaking to thousands of people to communicate, but the way you communicate with your clients.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: And the difference between the life-changing knowledge you possess and your clients, taking action on that knowledge, in many cases comes down to how well you communicate.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Can you get the point across?
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: Can you speak in such a way that moves people to do things and use that for good?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: So understand that.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: We don't get paid to know things, we get paid to transfer clarity through the way we speak and communicate.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: And the way you speak, it is sending signals, consciously or unconsciously, to your clients of are you the one that carries weight in their lives, that has authority in their lives?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: And especially for those of you listening that are young, that are asking, how can I give advice to clients?
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: How can I get clients to trust me when I'm young?
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Learning to speak with authority, learning to speak clearly is one of the single best things you can do to get clients to trust you, regardless of how old you are.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: So let's talk about some simple things you can do to train this.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, listen to your tone.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: You probably don't sound like you think you do.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm using this as number one because this is top of mind for me right now.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: This is something I'm actively trying to work through.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: I had a very recent conversation, this was maybe two months ago, and this individual is doing some marketing consulting for me.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: And we were having some conversations and he was helping me with some personal brand or marketing type things.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: And at one of our meetings, I showed up to it and he said, James, I'm going to play for you two different clips.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: The first clip that he played was from Steve Bartlett, who is the host of the Diary of a CEO podcast.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: And he opens his podcast and he speaks very smooth, very calm, very low, very slow even.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then after that, Hank, Hank's the individual I was talking to, he plays a clip of me in a podcast.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: And he played that clip and it sounded like my voice was shot out of a cannon, speaking two octaves higher than I actually speak, and I just I cringe listening to it.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: And the things I even knew that I had this issue, that something happens where the TV goes on or the camera goes on, and all of a sudden my voice changes and it becomes this weird performance.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I start talking too high and too high.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: And Hinks messaged me was simple.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: He said, practice speaking slow and low.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: When you're speaking high and we speak fast like that, no one likes to hear that.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: And it actually turns people off to the way that your voice can sound sometimes.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: So very intentionally, start practicing speaking low and speaking slow.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this has nothing to do with the actual natural tone of your voice.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Some of us naturally have higher voices, some of us naturally have lower voices.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: What this is saying is, is your true voice the one that's coming across to clients, or is it this weird performative voice?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: I know for me it was that weird performative voice.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Even now it can be, and this is something I'm actively working towards.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: How do I fix this?
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Watching videos, watching recordings.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Look back.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Is the way that you think you sound in your head, is it how you're actually coming across?
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Or do you have a different voice that you put on when you're speaking to a client?
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Are you rushing as you speak?
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: Or are you speaking very low and grounded?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because that low and that slow and that grounded voice, that is going to signal confidence in a way that speaking high and fast and trying to rush to a conclusion never will.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: So this was a great example for me.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Going back to listening to Stephen Bartlett and his opening to his podcast, and then listening myself in my opening to one of my videos, it could not have been more stark of a difference.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now, part of that is because nobody likes hearing their own voice, but the other part of it was it was true of how can I simply not change my voice in a performative way, bring my voice back to what it actually is.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: The more you can speak like a normal human being, the more you're gonna signify to your client, to your audience, to your listener, whoever you're speaking to, that you have confidence in what you're saying.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: And everyone that you're speaking to, when they're wondering in their mind, should I have confidence in what James is gonna say?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: The first thing that's gonna signal to them that the answer should be yes, is does James have confidence in what James is saying?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: If I don't have confidence, why on earth would they?
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: And the way that I signal confidence is by speaking low, by speaking slow, by remaining grounded and steady.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: This isn't to say turn this into a monotonous, boring podcast that's drawn out.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's just saying understand how you come across.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Half the battle is just the awareness of what do you actually sound like?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: What are you actually coming across as?
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: And simply watching yourself back can help you practice doing the things to speak more effectively.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: So as we go through these, I want to just list some things that you can do and then give you some very practical takeaways of things that you can do to improve this.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: So this point is be very mindful of your tone.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: What are some practical tips that you can do?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: This one's simple.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Practice.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: If you're on a Zoom call, if you're having a conversation with friends, if you're reading a book to your children at night, practice speaking low and slow.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm doing that.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm already feeling a difference and I already know there's still a lot of work to be done, but that's just a very practical tip that you can do because again, tying it back to what we're talking about, the more confident you are in the way you speak, the more confidence your clients are going to have in you, and the more they're gonna see you as the authority.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Another tip consciously pause and take a breath before responding.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: How many times is your client asked something?
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: And before they can even finish the sentence, you're already rattling off a response just like that.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Don't do that.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Let them ask the question, pause, take a breath, and then respond.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it shows that you're not just begging for something to latch on to.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, finally a question I can respond to.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: When you're too quick to answer, sometimes it can signal you're not confident in your own skin.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: You're not confident in this conversation.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: When you pause, what you're doing is you're interrupting the pattern, you're interrupting what's expected, you're causing people to lean in, sometimes even physically so, to want to hear what you're about to say.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: So practice after a question is asked or after a statement is made, pause, take a breath, and then respond.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's going to dramatically improve the confidence that you have in yourself and the confidence your clients have in you.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: As an advisor, we're not judged on speed, we're judged on steadiness.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: So be steady in the way you speak, and it will go a long way in building trust and authority with your clients.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: The second thing you can learn to do to speak better as an advisor is stop ending statements like it's a question.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is huge, especially for young advisors.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: When you end your sentence with an upward inflection, sometimes called up talk, you are subconsciously signaling uncertainty.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's showing you that when I tell you something, but I end it more like a question, how confident did you feel when I said that there?
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm essentially asking a question without asking it, looking for someone to validate me, looking for someone to say, yeah, that's that's exactly right.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now you may not consciously be doing that.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: You may not be doing that at all, but that's how it's coming across to the person you're speaking to.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: So this is an example of where I can say the same exact words that you say to the same exact client.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: But if I'm ending the words in an upward inflection and you are ending with a downward inflection, you are signaling confidence.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: You are signaling that you are someone to be trusted.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: I am signaling I don't actually believe that much in what I'm saying, even if I do.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's the hard part.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: This upward inflection, the up talk, it becomes something that's habitual to us.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: And if this is something we've always done, even if we are incredibly confident in what we're saying, that way in which you speak is going to erode a lot of that confidence in the eyes of your client.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: Now, here's an uncomfortable reality here.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying this is how it should be, but I am saying this is absolutely how it is.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: With up talk, with this upward inflection, females are judged more harshly on this than males are.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I'm not saying that's how it should be, but I am saying we'd be lying if we tried to say that's not the truth.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: We'd be lying if we said males and females were judged the exact same on this.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are a younger female advisor, recognize that this is something that if you speak in the same exact up talk as I do, you're probably being judged for it.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: You certainly are being judged for it more than I am on average.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: So we can take that as unfair, we can take that as unjust, we can take that as something that absolutely should not be.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: Sure, great, I agree with you, but thinking that doesn't change the reality.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: So what can we do to say, at least for me, I'm not gonna speak with that up talk, at least for me, I'm gonna speak with authority and learn that this is how I'm being perceived, fairly or not.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do?
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: What's in my power to change that?
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: So just in case this isn't clear, as we're talking about up talk, it's all about how you finish your sentences.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Are you finishing your sentences downward?
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's signifying that you are the expert, or are you finishing your sentences upward, showing that you're the amateur?
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you can start to hear my voice here, there's a clear difference there.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: So is it upward or downward?
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: You want to finish downward.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Downward is deep and final.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: Upward is rising and tentative.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: In terms of client perception, downward shows they have a plan.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Upward asks, are they guessing?
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: When it comes to advisor tone, downward is rational and grounded.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: Upward is seeking approval.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: So you can start to see there, maybe I did a good job illustrating that, maybe I didn't, but there's a very clear difference with the not words you speak, but the tone in which they're spoken, particularly the final inflection.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: Is that final inflection going up, signifying that you don't really have full confidence and security in what you're saying?
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: Or is it going downward, showing I have authority here.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: I am confident in what I'm saying, and therefore you can't be too.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: So practical tips.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: How can you train out of this?
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Well, number one, practice downward endings.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: Record yourself.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: Mark every single time that you end a sentence with an upward inflection.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: When I was doing Toastmasters many years ago, they have someone who has a little clicker, like one of those dog clickers.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: And anytime you say an um, uh, uh, any type of filler words, they click that.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: And people hated it.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: They'd be in the middle of a talk, a middle of a conversation, they're already feeling nervous and the pressure.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: And the second they say um, this clicker is coming out.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: The second they use a filler word, this clicker is coming out.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: And it would totally frazzle people.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: But I was so grateful for that clicker because even now, as I speak, if I'm about to say, uh, you know, what's my next point?
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: I still hear that clicker in my head.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because I was trained almost like the Pavlovian response that a dog would be trained on to not want to say it because I know that click is coming.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: So record yourself, mark it, do something here so that you are training your mind to hear this as it's happening.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Another tip you can do is slightly lower your chin at the end of a sentence.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Sounds kind of simple, sounds kind of silly, but that's actually something that's gonna help you end that sentence on a downward inflection.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: The next thing you can do is mentally visualize ending your sentence with a period, not a comma.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: A period, even just mentally visualizing this, shows you this is final, this is certain.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: A comma leaves it open for what's gonna come next.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: So mentally visualize that.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Think in periods, not commas, as you end your sentences.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then fourth thing you can do, and this is probably gonna be a theme across a lot of these different tips, is finish with a pause.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Finish with a pause.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: Let your point sink.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: When you end with an upward inflection, it kind of signifies there's something else I need to be talking about.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: When you end with this downward inflection, it's saying this is a complete final thought.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna pause for a second as I let that land because I have confidence in what I just said.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: So that silence will reinforce the certainty into your sentences with silence and don't be uncomfortable by it.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: The third point that I want to make is stop rushing to make your point.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: I am very guilty of this even still today, even as I know this is something I shouldn't be doing.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: We have this tendency to want to get all the information out.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: A client asks a question, there's so much that we want to talk about, there's Roth conversions, there's so much we want to talk about with investments, and I wouldn't need you to be diversified, I need you to do that with conversion, here's why it's gonna just slow down.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: We have this all in our head.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: You've probably had this conversation hundreds of times.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: That information is now second nature to you.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: So you can't wait to get it out and to express that information.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: For your client, this might be the first or second or third time they're hearing it.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: Understand that the faster you go, you might think it sounds intelligent because of how quickly and how much authority you can speak with on the subject, it's just completely overwhelming to them.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: If you can slow down and speak methodically and speak simply, not only is your point going to better land with your client, but you're gonna be perceived as having more authority.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's your natural voice.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: You're explaining it naturally, you're not rushing to put on this performance or to explain this concept.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: You're showing.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: You're very comfortable with it, and you can take it at their speed.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: If they need to speed up a little bit because they're a fast talker and you sense that they need to be a fast listener, great.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: But in most cases, it's that slower pace that's going to signify that confidence and stop rushing to make your point.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I don't know if this pertains to you, but I know I certainly felt this, especially as a younger advisor.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: Someone books a meeting, and in many cases, they're double my age.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I kind of feel like that, man, the pressure is on me to deliver value.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like I'm wasting their time if I'm not delivering value.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: And if I'm wasting their time, I better talk fast so I can cram as much as I possibly can into that time that we have together.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: But then one day I realized if I'm rushing here, I'm signaling to my client, I don't think I belong here.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: I think I may be wasting your time.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if this is of value to you.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: And the flip side of that is when I can pace myself, when I can talk more measured and more slowly and more methodically, what I'm telling them is I'm very confident in what I'm saying.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: And you should be too.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: So this is a fine line and a balance.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: Again, do not speak way too slow, that you just become insufferably boring to your client.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: But I think our natural tendency, at least I know mine is, is to speak far too fast.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: And that too is something that's not going to convey confidence in the eyes of your client.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: The fourth thing to understand, and this is a point that comes directly from Nick Murray.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: I've said this on this podcast before.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't already read Nick Murray, drop what you're doing and sign up for his newsletter.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: The most impactful newsletter that I've read that has impacted and shaped me as an advisor.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: But he has a saying that says something along the lines of there is an inverse relationship between the number of words spoken and the impact of those words.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: Now it's kind of ironic.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to expand upon that.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: I should probably just leave that there.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: Fewer words, greater impact, but I'm going to do it anyways.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: So what he is saying here is the longer the explanation, the less conviction your client's going to feel in the words that you're delivering.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: Clients don't need every variable, every edge case, every disclaimer, every single little detail.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: When you are giving them every single thing, it's showing that you're not actually confident in the main thing.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: Heck, maybe you don't even know what the main thing is.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: But if you read good writing, like Nick Murray's, what you'll quickly start to see is there's no wasted sentences.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: Heck, there's not even any wasted words.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: Every word is taking you closer to the point he's trying to make.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: He's not giving you a platter full of everything.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: He's very clearly identifying what's the key thing that matters here and how can I convey that as simply as possible without mincing or wasting any of my words.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: So where does that show up for us as advisors?
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: Well, clients ask you a question about maybe investing or maybe a Roth conversion.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: And what is our response?
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's well, depending upon the market environment and depending upon tax policy, and depending upon how much income you have, and depending upon blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: And by the way, all that stuff is accurate.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: What we're doing is we're lulling our client to sleep and saying, okay, they don't really have an answer here.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they don't really know the answer, so they're filling the void with more words.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever had a conversation like that?
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Someone answered you and it took 10 minutes, and at the end of their 10-minute explanation, you don't even remember what the question was, but they definitely didn't answer it.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: Does that signify confidence that they were able to speak all those words at you?
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: Or does it demonstrate that maybe they don't really know what they're talking about?
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they don't have the authority.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: They'd like to think that they have.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: So keep things as simple as possible.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: What's a tip here?
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: Read good writing.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: Read Nick Murray.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: Read other writers who are very good.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: Poor Charlie's almanac is a great one from Charlie Munger.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: In that, I remember reading that.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: In every single concept he explains, it felt like he explained it 98%.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted more.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember feeling that through the whole book.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it felt so easy just to read all the way through because I kept wanting more, wanting more, wanting more.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: And what I realized is he explained this fully without over-explaining.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: And when he did that, it allowed my brain to fill in the gaps.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: It allowed me to kind of fill in the gaps and want more from him.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't even know how to perfectly articulate what he did, but I do remember reading that book and thinking, this is how you should communicate.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: Communicate right up to the point of giving everything that's needed and then stop.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna make your listener, it's gonna make your audience, it's gonna make your client want more of you, not less.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: And when we're communicating with people, let that be the principle that guides us.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: How can we make them want more, not less, of what we're giving them?
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: The next tip to speaking better is properly frame your answers.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this has nothing to do with tone or pace or pauses.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now, hopefully you're using those principles in this, but this has everything to do with how are you setting up the answer you're about to give.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: Most advisors, when they get a question, they respond directly.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: But great communicators, before they give an answer, they frame the issue correctly.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now this takes some judgment.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: If someone's asking you a simple question, give them a simple answer.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: But if they're asking a more complex question or a question that has a little bit more nuance to it, frame the issue correctly first, then give the answer.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: The concept here is to have some contrast between what you're saying and how things currently are.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: Think of some very well-known historical examples of this.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: Martin Luther King Jr.'s I have a dream speech.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: What does he say?
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: He doesn't just say everyone should be treated equal.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: Sounds kind of weak.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the principle's true, but there's no power to that statement.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: What does he say instead?
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: He says, I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: He's setting up contrast.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: Not be judged by the character of their skin, essentially saying this is how people are doing things, let me contrast that with how things should be done.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: But be judged by the content of their character.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: Marcus Aurelius, talking about pain, says, if you are pained by any external thing, it is not this thing that disturbs you, but your own judgment about it.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: And it is in your power to wipe out this judgment now.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: Talking about something like pain, how many of us have felt pain?
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: He's saying it's not that thing, it's not that pain that disturbs you.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: Drawing you in, saying, What are you talking about?
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: Of course it's that thing that disturbs me.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: Then contrasting that and saying, but by your own judgments of it.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: So again, just effective communication of set the stage for what the issue is or isn't, and then deliver the message.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe one of the most famous examples of all is Jesus and his famous Sermon on the Mount.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: Study that like you're studying a communicator.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: The basic structure of his whole, I'm going to call it speech, is you have heard it said, but I say unto you.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: There's this concept of you have heard it said, whether Martin Luther King Jr.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: is saying that, whether Marcus Aurelius is saying that, whether Jesus is saying that, whether you as an advisor are saying that.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: What you're doing is this.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: When you say you have heard it said, or this is how things are, or this is the issue, you're saying, let me show you I understand where you're coming from.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: I understand your thought process.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: I understand how people think about this.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then when you flip that to, but I say unto you, what you're doing is you're breaking conventional thought patterns and establishing yourself as the authority.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: This is how people think about it, but let me show you why it should be this way.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: So, what's an example of that as an advisor?
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: A client asks you.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Should I wait until 70 to collect Social Security?
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: What does an average advisor do?
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you should.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: You get an 8% per year delayed retirement credit for that.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, go ahead and wait until 70.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: Cool.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing wrong with that.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: Might even be the right answer.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: But what might a stronger answer be?
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, Mr.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: Client, yes, most people think they should wait until age 70 because it comes with this guaranteed increase.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: That sounds logical, but here's what actually matters.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: Now, what you're doing is you're saying the same thing.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: You might even have the same feedback.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: But when you answer directly versus for something that has more nuance or context required, framing the conventional logic, framing the wrong way of thinking about it first shows you that you understand that and almost shows you that you're outside of the realm of conventional thinking.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: You are this authority that can look down on how things are done and properly guide based upon your own discernment and your own authority, not just repeating things that are conventional rules of thumb.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: So framing things correctly does three things.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, it shows you understand conventional thinking.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, it positions you as being above that surface level advice.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: And number three, it signals depth before you even give the answer.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: So this is just a very practical speaking tool, communication tool that you can use to demonstrate your depth, to demonstrate your authority as an advisor, even if you're a young advisor, going back to the very beginning of this.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: This isn't something you need to be 50 years old or 60 years old or 70 years old to do.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: All of us can learn to do this and speak with more authority, even as younger advisors.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: Then finally, the last point that I want to make before we wrap up today's episode is don't be afraid of the pause.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: Don't be afraid of the silence.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: People who are uncomfortable with silence signify that you're uncomfortable being there.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: You're uncomfortable with what's going on.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: If you can be cool and calm and collected, and if you can speak in a way where you intentionally leave silences after a point that you make that needs to be absorbed, or you leave space for silence when you know that you need your client to take some time to think about something.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever the case is, not only are you giving them the time to do that, you're displaying your authority.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: You're displaying your comfort level with that silence.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're showing that you are comfortable with it, again, you are showing to your client that they should think you're comfortable with this as well.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: So when that silence happens, don't rush to fill the void.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: Don't rush to fill in words where silence is the most effective tool that's needed.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: So the final thing I want you to do is start studying this.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: And when I say study, I don't mean go to the library and check out a book.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: I mean watch your favorite comedian.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: Why are they so effective in how they communicate?
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: Is it their pauses?
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: Is it their sentence structure?
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: Is it their ability to tell stories?
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: Your favorite team member who communicates so effectively, what are they doing that makes them so effective?
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: Your favorite podcast host, your favorite, you fill in the blank.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: When you see an effective communicator, ask why.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: What are they doing there?
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: And when you actually separate yourself from being involved or being a consumer of that entertainment and actually viewing it from a learning standpoint, what are they doing that makes them so effective?
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna learn a tremendous amount about what makes someone effective.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: And when you learn that, these are very simple things that you can start to embody in the way you communicate to clients.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't care how young you are, how old you are, these are things that will quickly accelerate the authority you have, the perceived authority you have with your clients, and ultimately make you a better, more effective advisor.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope this episode was helpful.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: If you're enjoying this, please share it with someone else who you think could benefit.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: If you're liking it, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts on Spotify.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: We are also on YouTube.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: Root Ready Podcast on YouTube.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: Check us out there if you're listening on podcasts.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: That is it for today, though, and I'll see you all next time.