Latest / Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast / 451: Why Most Programs Don't Work (And Why It's Not Your Fault)
Transcript
- 0:04Nicole Laino: The show dedicated to helping entrepreneurs use human design to shift from hustle to flow without sacrificing results.
- 0:11Nicole Laino: Come here to become an unshakable human and build an unshakable business according to your human design.
- 0:17Nicole Laino: I'm your host, Nicole Laino.
- 0:22Nicole Laino: Hello and welcome to Unshakable with Human Design.
- 0:25Nicole Laino: I'm your host, Nicole Laino, and I want to talk about something that I hear a lot.
- 0:30Nicole Laino: I hear it in the clarity calls that I have with potential clients.
- 0:34Nicole Laino: I hear it all over the place.
- 0:36Nicole Laino: And most people are saying it quietly, almost like they're confessing something when they say it.
- 0:40Nicole Laino: And they'll say something like, I've invested in a lot of things that didn't work.
- 0:44Nicole Laino: And then they say something or I can feel it from them is that they don't trust themselves anymore to follow through.
- 0:51Nicole Laino: There's two things that happen.
- 0:52Nicole Laino: I don't trust the programs that are out there.
- 0:55Nicole Laino: I don't trust people to hold up their end of the bargain.
- 0:57Nicole Laino: I don't trust coaches to deliver on what they say.
- 1:00Nicole Laino: I don't trust the promises they make.
- 1:02Nicole Laino: And.
- 1:03Nicole Laino: And I don't trust myself because I also know that I'm part of this.
- 1:07Nicole Laino: There's usually that.
- 1:08Nicole Laino: It's like, it feels like there's been an imbalance, right.
- 1:10Nicole Laino: They didn't deliver, but also I didn't show up.
- 1:13Nicole Laino: And you know, what's underneath all of that?
- 1:16Nicole Laino: It's usually more of the disappointment in themselves that is really causing all the problems that they are continuing to have.
- 1:25Nicole Laino: So I want to say clearly, because this matters.
- 1:28Nicole Laino: I want to make this very clear.
- 1:30Nicole Laino: Most programs don't fail because you're lazy, you're undisciplined, you're inconsistent.
- 1:39Nicole Laino: Most of the time.
- 1:39Nicole Laino: People don't get results from this, from these things because they are designed for information transfer.
- 1:45Nicole Laino: They are not designed for embodiment.
- 1:47Nicole Laino: Right.
- 1:47Nicole Laino: And that distinction changes everything.
- 1:50Nicole Laino: Because if you think about that, the embodiment is.
- 1:53Nicole Laino: It's sort of like teacher man to fish.
- 1:55Nicole Laino: We're ending that.
- 1:56Nicole Laino: Like, follow my system to a T and you'll.
- 2:00Nicole Laino: You'll get the same results.
- 2:01Nicole Laino: We're in.
- 2:01Nicole Laino: That era is already over.
- 2:04Nicole Laino: If it wasn't two years ago, it certainly is now.
- 2:07Nicole Laino: And again, we've talked about.
- 2:09Nicole Laino: If you listen to the last couple of episodes that I've done where I've talked about self trust and you know, the energetics of business are going to matter a whole lot more, and if you've listened to those episodes Where I've been talking about self trust being necessary, that people.
- 2:25Nicole Laino: That feeling of attaching to a system and getting certainty from a system.
- 2:30Nicole Laino: This is part of the reason why people feel so unmoored right now is because the systems that we're working don't work anymore.
- 2:38Nicole Laino: So now what do we do?
- 2:39Nicole Laino: So really what's happening underneath all that?
- 2:41Nicole Laino: I want to talk about the energetics of this, and then I want to talk a little bit about, like, the strategic elements of.
- 2:46Nicole Laino: Because programs still work, courses still work, these things still work.
- 2:50Nicole Laino: It's just the way that they're taught and the way that they are facilitated is really the difference.
- 2:56Nicole Laino: And especially because, like, if you are a spiritual entrepreneur, so if you are more open in your design, if you are not like the typical, like, 13 generator or something, where, you know, you following.
- 3:10Nicole Laino: You're following that, like, that very structured.
- 3:12Nicole Laino: And that feels good to you, that very structured approach.
- 3:15Nicole Laino: If the systems of the past are not working for you or if you've.
- 3:19Nicole Laino: Because they didn't work for me, I want to be really clear with that.
- 3:22Nicole Laino: I was never the type of person who could follow somebody's system, go straight through it and make it work.
- 3:27Nicole Laino: No, I had to.
- 3:28Nicole Laino: And I want to be really clear about this.
- 3:31Nicole Laino: The difference between me and somebody else, you know, me making multiple six figures and having the business that I have and somebody else who has taken the same programs, and it didn't work for them.
- 3:43Nicole Laino: The only difference between us, most likely, is that I had the tenacity to stick with something long enough to figure out how it worked for me, that I worked with myself and worked on the energetic side of things, and I let go of the idea that their system had to work, like, out of the box.
- 4:04Nicole Laino: That I look at systems and I look at programs and I look at the things that are built and I say, like, ooh.
- 4:10Nicole Laino: Well, I look at it more like, you know, I got a bunch of parts and I'm going to build my own thing.
- 4:15Nicole Laino: I have some instructions, but I don't think I can.
- 4:18Nicole Laino: They're written in another language, right?
- 4:21Nicole Laino: So I look at it more like that, and that's the difference.
- 4:23Nicole Laino: And what I did learn to do was I learned to work with my energy, okay?
- 4:27Nicole Laino: And this is really important.
- 4:28Nicole Laino: So I want to talk to you.
- 4:29Nicole Laino: I want to go back to, like, that.
- 4:31Nicole Laino: That feeling of, like, being disappointed that I didn't get the return on my investment.
- 4:36Nicole Laino: I didn't deliver, I didn't follow through.
- 4:41Nicole Laino: I let everybody down.
- 4:43Nicole Laino: All of that falls under the great Big old heading of shame.
- 4:47Nicole Laino: And shame is a business killer.
- 4:49Nicole Laino: Shame is an abundance blocker, probably the biggest one.
- 4:54Nicole Laino: When we have failed investments and we have that narrative going around in our heads, we bring it into everything that we do.
- 5:01Nicole Laino: And what that does energetically is we start attracting that.
- 5:05Nicole Laino: We start attracting more of that lack.
- 5:07Nicole Laino: We start attracting.
- 5:08Nicole Laino: We hesitate because we are scared.
- 5:10Nicole Laino: So we are not being a self leader.
- 5:12Nicole Laino: We are not showing up.
- 5:13Nicole Laino: We might be saying all the leadership things, but we're not showing up.
- 5:16Nicole Laino: And we show up online and then we disappear for a while and we're not consistent because we're battling ourselves to get everything done right.
- 5:25Nicole Laino: And what that does is you start to attract more people who are afraid to commit because they don't get commitment energy from you.
- 5:32Nicole Laino: They get feared, fearful energy, they get shaky energy.
- 5:35Nicole Laino: And you wonder why people aren't investing with you.
- 5:38Nicole Laino: And that internal narrative, what it really becomes when you have shame is what's wrong with me?
- 5:44Nicole Laino: And you can't walk into your sales calls, you can't walk onto social media and project wisdom.
- 5:51Nicole Laino: You know, if you want to be a thought leader, if you want to be a leader or a coach or somebody who holds people through things, if you want to be.
- 5:59Nicole Laino: I mean, even if you want to be.
- 6:00Nicole Laino: This applies at corporate and stuff too.
- 6:02Nicole Laino: When you know, not so much the investment part, but if you don't believe in yourself, if you don't believe like to your bones that you are deserving and worthy of the things that you are striving for, they usually don't come or it's so much harder.
- 6:17Nicole Laino: But I also want to be clear that this isn't purely a willpower issue.
- 6:21Nicole Laino: This is a nervous system issue.
- 6:23Nicole Laino: This is a nervous system programming issue.
- 6:26Nicole Laino: We don't get rid of shame by saying don't feel shame anymore.
- 6:29Nicole Laino: It's not how it works.
- 6:31Nicole Laino: And if you've tried it, you probably already know.
- 6:33Nicole Laino: It is a just knowing something and knowledge and learning doesn't change behavior, right?
- 6:40Nicole Laino: People blame themselves, but the problem is usually in the way that they are being guided because they show up to do something, you show up to learn something, you show up to create a result.
- 6:52Nicole Laino: And somebody just keeps telling you, just do it, just do it.
- 6:55Nicole Laino: And then that person is sitting there, but I can't, I'm in my own way.
- 6:59Nicole Laino: I was talking with a client this week and she said something about she's a breathwork facilitator.
- 7:04Nicole Laino: And.
- 7:04Nicole Laino: And I asked her why breath work.
- 7:06Nicole Laino: Tell me why it matters.
- 7:07Nicole Laino: Tell me why it matters.
- 7:08Nicole Laino: To you.
- 7:08Nicole Laino: Tell me why you teach this.
- 7:09Nicole Laino: Tell me what the mission is.
- 7:11Nicole Laino: And she was like, well, I thought about.
- 7:12Nicole Laino: She's like, when I. I. I used to go into strategy.
- 7:14Nicole Laino: I used to.
- 7:15Nicole Laino: I can be a really analytical person.
- 7:18Nicole Laino: She's like, when I started my business, when I started all of this, I was like, okay, I'm gonna attack the strategy.
- 7:23Nicole Laino: I'm gonna go after it.
- 7:24Nicole Laino: I'm gonna like.
- 7:24Nicole Laino: And she.
- 7:25Nicole Laino: I kept doing all of these strategies, and it was breath work that showed me that I was the problem.
- 7:31Nicole Laino: Me, my emotions, my energy, my blocks, although I don't love that word, but I was the problem.
- 7:38Nicole Laino: And she's like, but I'm also the solution.
- 7:40Nicole Laino: And that's what breath work can open up for you.
- 7:42Nicole Laino: And I couldn't agree with her more.
- 7:44Nicole Laino: I do breath work every single morning.
- 7:45Nicole Laino: And sometimes I do even longer journeys and stuff like that to really go deep, especially right now.
- 7:52Nicole Laino: I say this, and I'm saying this with a bit of caution, because I don't.
- 7:56Nicole Laino: I never want to push people into a feeling like we're forcing.
- 8:00Nicole Laino: I'm never advocating forcing things, but I do have to say that a lot of the common knowledge out there is that clarity leads to action.
- 8:10Nicole Laino: And, you know, when you don't have it, you just force it.
- 8:13Nicole Laino: And I'm never advocating forcing.
- 8:16Nicole Laino: However, we do have to do the reps. We do have to show up, and you do have to.
- 8:23Nicole Laino: One of my coaches always said she's like, you know, entrepreneurs have to train like an athlete for their.
- 8:27Nicole Laino: Like, an athlete trains for their sport.
- 8:29Nicole Laino: And I agree with that.
- 8:30Nicole Laino: And I really misread that when she first said it, because I was like, okay, I have to be ruthless.
- 8:36Nicole Laino: I have to be crazy.
- 8:37Nicole Laino: I have to, like, go.
- 8:38Nicole Laino: You know, like, I would hear about, like, Michael Phelps swimming for, like, six hours a day.
- 8:42Nicole Laino: And it's just like, I can't even imagine the physical shape you have to be in.
- 8:45Nicole Laino: And it's like, okay, what was he doing to get in that shape?
- 8:47Nicole Laino: And he's eating and he's doing all this.
- 8:48Nicole Laino: It's like his whole world is this thing, and it is that.
- 8:52Nicole Laino: It's just different than that.
- 8:53Nicole Laino: I don't mean that to sound like this is a all encompassing, difficult, forcing, draining thing, but when I say train like an athlete trains for their sport, I mean nervous system.
- 9:06Nicole Laino: Work on expanding your nervous system, cleaning out the trauma that is there.
- 9:11Nicole Laino: Like the shame.
- 9:12Nicole Laino: Make no mistake about it.
- 9:13Nicole Laino: Having debt.
- 9:14Nicole Laino: If you feel shame from the debt is trauma, and it's getting in your Way if you have fear that you've let everybody down in your family, that is all over your business, baby.
- 9:28Nicole Laino: And if you don't deal with it, you will be stuck in these patterns forever.
- 9:34Nicole Laino: I didn't move meaningfully in my business until I took care of, I cleaned house.
- 9:42Nicole Laino: So an unregulated nervous system does not integrate insight over consumption is where we usually go because we get worked up and we get afraid.
- 9:53Nicole Laino: So we over consume and that creates paralysis sometimes because we have so much going on in our head and it doesn't create movement and then we go into thinking about something more.
- 10:03Nicole Laino: This is a nervous system problem.
- 10:05Nicole Laino: This is not a strategic problem.
- 10:07Nicole Laino: You're trying to solve a nervous system problem with a strategic process and that doesn't work and it certainly doesn't work in a sustainable way.
- 10:16Nicole Laino: So how do we shift this and how do we get a return on the investment that we make?
- 10:21Nicole Laino: Well, I believe that where coaching is going and where these programs are going and where the knowledge business is going is moving into embodiment.
- 10:30Nicole Laino: It's moving into embodiment.
- 10:32Nicole Laino: It is teaching a man to fish.
- 10:34Nicole Laino: It is teaching people how to navigate the roller coaster of entrepreneurial life.
- 10:40Nicole Laino: It is in order to be the person who's providing these services.
- 10:43Nicole Laino: You can might teach people how to do their taxes.
- 10:47Nicole Laino: There could be what your expertise is one thing, but your ability to do what you need to do as an entrepreneur.
- 10:54Nicole Laino: And if you're teaching people things, it's going to have to be on an embodiment level.
- 10:58Nicole Laino: We're going to have to go deeper than just telling people like follow this blindly and trust that motivation is.
- 11:08Nicole Laino: And trust are like a muscle.
- 11:10Nicole Laino: Trust is a muscle.
- 11:11Nicole Laino: It's a thing that we build trust.
- 11:14Nicole Laino: And as we build trust we become brave.
- 11:17Nicole Laino: And that comes through small completed actions that comes from showing up and consistency.
- 11:25Nicole Laino: And you're going to frame.
- 11:26Nicole Laino: We have to reframe what consistency looks like and what it means to us because consistency does not mean I show up every day, I go from 9am to 5pm and I work and I work.
- 11:37Nicole Laino: No, that's not what it means.
- 11:39Nicole Laino: This is what we're moving toward now.
- 11:41Nicole Laino: I believe it is flexible structures that we learn to work within.
- 11:46Nicole Laino: And that's what I think human design is the most powerful tool for because it isn't telling you to do it my way, it's helping you find your way.
- 11:57Nicole Laino: So what does that mean?
- 11:58Nicole Laino: I'll give you an example from a way that I work within my design but still have a structure.
- 12:04Nicole Laino: So I still show up consistently, but I'm not creating content every day.
- 12:08Nicole Laino: There are days where I don't do it at all.
- 12:09Nicole Laino: I had to do this podcast.
- 12:11Nicole Laino: I'm batch recording some podcasts.
- 12:14Nicole Laino: Not something I do very often.
- 12:15Nicole Laino: I'm trying to get better at it because I've realized that I need a little bit more structure in the way that I do things.
- 12:22Nicole Laino: So I am working toward making that feel aligned.
- 12:26Nicole Laino: How can I make having a structure feel a bit more aligned?
- 12:29Nicole Laino: For me, what that means is I leave big chunks of time before I have to have something done.
- 12:35Nicole Laino: The more space I have, the more creative I am.
- 12:38Nicole Laino: The more space I have, the more freedom I have to move in the time that I'm given and do the things that feel right when they feel right.
- 12:47Nicole Laino: So I have this.
- 12:48Nicole Laino: I know the things that I need to do.
- 12:50Nicole Laino: I have priorities.
- 12:51Nicole Laino: I make sure I meet those priorities.
- 12:54Nicole Laino: But the timing of those.
- 12:55Nicole Laino: I try to be as flexible with them as possible because I'm a manifesting generator.
- 12:59Nicole Laino: I'm an emotional authority.
- 13:01Nicole Laino: There's gonna be a lot of times I don't feel like doing what I need to do.
- 13:03Nicole Laino: And I'm a manifesting generator.
- 13:05Nicole Laino: So I need to be in response to these things.
- 13:07Nicole Laino: So how can I.
- 13:09Nicole Laino: Like there is an art to being who you are, and everybody has the ability to get what they want done.
- 13:15Nicole Laino: You do have to want it.
- 13:17Nicole Laino: I encourage everybody to really look at the things that they are striving for and make sure you really want it.
- 13:22Nicole Laino: Because if you don't want it, don't make yourself go after them.
- 13:26Nicole Laino: Torture yourself going after something that you don't want.
- 13:28Nicole Laino: I want this business, and I wanted it so badly.
- 13:32Nicole Laino: And that came from a place where I felt like I was really doing what I was supposed to do.
- 13:36Nicole Laino: And that's what gave me the tenacity to constantly get knocked down in those first couple of years over and over again.
- 13:45Nicole Laino: And I got better at the things I sucked at.
- 13:48Nicole Laino: It's putting in the reps, but we can confuse that.
- 13:51Nicole Laino: We can think.
- 13:52Nicole Laino: Putting in the reps means I have to do this every day and I have to.
- 13:55Nicole Laino: That's not what it means at all.
- 13:57Nicole Laino: It means keeping the commitments that you make to yourself.
- 13:59Nicole Laino: And within that structure, you can have flexibility.
- 14:02Nicole Laino: It doesn't mean you have to do.
- 14:03Nicole Laino: Consistency doesn't mean you're doing the same thing every day.
- 14:06Nicole Laino: Consistency doesn't mean that you're doing the same thing every week.
- 14:09Nicole Laino: Consistency means I meet the commitments that I set for myself.
- 14:12Nicole Laino: And some of that is alignment and some of it is doing the reps. Nobody likes doing anything they suck at.
- 14:19Nicole Laino: And when we are just starting to do something and we haven't built consistency with something, we haven't built safety with it.
- 14:28Nicole Laino: So that's a nervous system thing and a structural strategy thing.
- 14:32Nicole Laino: It's not consistency is safety and it's not discipline.
- 14:38Nicole Laino: I want to, I want to make sure that I'm really clear about that.
- 14:40Nicole Laino: I don't see it as like, as being hardcore disciplined.
- 14:44Nicole Laino: Consistency is about creating safety with these things that we do.
- 14:48Nicole Laino: So if something is scary, we don't feel safe with it yet.
- 14:51Nicole Laino: If we feel that we suck at something, it feels scary to us.
- 14:54Nicole Laino: We don't feel safe with it yet.
- 14:56Nicole Laino: That will cause us to hold back from doing it.
- 14:58Nicole Laino: So we will do it less.
- 14:59Nicole Laino: So we will be less consistent.
- 15:01Nicole Laino: So expansion of the nervous system.
- 15:04Nicole Laino: Usually there is some sort of discipline with our time schedule.
- 15:09Nicole Laino: So I schedule my time very intentionally.
- 15:11Nicole Laino: There's a lot of space on my calendar.
- 15:13Nicole Laino: I have a lot to do.
- 15:14Nicole Laino: I don't schedule the things that I do, but I do.
- 15:18Nicole Laino: I have built enough self discipline.
- 15:21Nicole Laino: I will use that word.
- 15:23Nicole Laino: I've built enough self discipline and safety in myself where I'm not scared.
- 15:27Nicole Laino: I won't meet my commitment.
- 15:29Nicole Laino: I'm like, I'll get it done.
- 15:30Nicole Laino: I know I'll get it done.
- 15:31Nicole Laino: And I'm not gonna stress about it until it happens.
- 15:34Nicole Laino: I will get it done and I know I will.
- 15:37Nicole Laino: And I have ways of working with my energy and with my design that I make getting it done easier feel fun.
- 15:45Nicole Laino: I'm not saying a hundred percent of the time, sometimes we do something we don't feel like doing because it just needs to get done.
- 15:51Nicole Laino: But can we be in that a very small percentage of the time?
- 15:56Nicole Laino: So this whole episode came from hearing those conversations from people.
- 16:00Nicole Laino: But then also, you know, that shame that people were feeling, but then also hearing from people or just seeing people seeing what everybody seems to get stuck on when they are trying to, particularly when they're getting to that.
- 16:11Nicole Laino: You know, I want to hit six figures.
- 16:13Nicole Laino: I want to get to the six figure mark.
- 16:15Nicole Laino: It's the inconsistency that is keeping you from getting there.
- 16:18Nicole Laino: It is the on, off with your business.
- 16:20Nicole Laino: And that is a nervous system thing.
- 16:23Nicole Laino: So what I have created is all of my programs are embodiment focused.
- 16:27Nicole Laino: They are not knowledge, purely knowledge based programs.
- 16:31Nicole Laino: We just created something called the Human Design Authority Lab.
- 16:35Nicole Laino: The whole mission of this is to get you into physical action with key places where we want you to build trust and safety with the things that you're doing and then creating human design content and a human design community where you can start to find your way so that you're finding your way into these things.
- 16:55Nicole Laino: I always say, like, I can't help people when they are just thinking about like, how can I get moving, how can I be more productive, how can I get these things done?
- 17:01Nicole Laino: It's like the way we find the problem is for you to try to do the thing and come to me and see how it's not showing up for you.
- 17:10Nicole Laino: Run into the wall and then we know where the wall is and then we can kick it down.
- 17:14Nicole Laino: So the whole Human Design Authority lab is about getting you to step into your authority, find your way with human design, but also take the actions that most people aren't taking.
- 17:23Nicole Laino: And these two things can change your business.
- 17:26Nicole Laino: These two things, this is how you get leads.
- 17:28Nicole Laino: So many people are like, how do I grow my audience?
- 17:30Nicole Laino: If you.
- 17:30Nicole Laino: It is about being visible in the beginning.
- 17:32Nicole Laino: That's really the whole thing.
- 17:33Nicole Laino: And there are so many ways that you can be visible.
- 17:36Nicole Laino: We are actually taking you through those.
- 17:37Nicole Laino: In the Human Design Authority Lab, we do masterclasses every month on human design and stuff like that.
- 17:42Nicole Laino: And then we do co working sessions with my team where they take you through actually taking action on the things that will move the needle in your business, building that strategic muscle.
- 17:52Nicole Laino: And then my job is to take you and help you find your way, help you figure out the codes of you so that you can step into your own inner authority and expand your nervous system so that you're able to do these things better and better.
- 18:07Nicole Laino: And by the time you end up, it's a monthly membership, but by the time, if you stay with us for a whole year or longer, you should be growing and creating real results in your business just by creating some consistency in these two key areas.
- 18:22Nicole Laino: These are like the first like big movements that I need to get people to make.
- 18:26Nicole Laino: So we created a membership just for that, just focused on that.
- 18:30Nicole Laino: And there's so much more.
- 18:30Nicole Laino: We have guest speakers, we have all sorts of things that go on in there.
- 18:33Nicole Laino: It's really fun and it's the most affordable thing we've ever done.
- 18:36Nicole Laino: If you're interested in it, please check out the Authority lab.
- 18:39Nicole Laino: Go to nicolelaino.com lab or DM me the word lab on Instagram.
- 18:44Nicole Laino: I'm Icoleno official and we can hook you up there with the details.
- 18:48Nicole Laino: I hope you join us there.
- 18:49Nicole Laino: If you have any questions, please let us know.
- 18:51Nicole Laino: But I appreciate you.
- 18:53Nicole Laino: And remember, in order to have an unshakable business, you must first become an unshakable human.
- 18:59Nicole Laino: So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with Human Design.
- 19:02Nicole Laino: We will see you next time.
- 19:04Nicole Laino: If you love this episode and you're a fan of the show, please show us the love on itunes, Spotify, or wherever you're listening to the show and leave us a review.
- 19:10Nicole Laino: And if you'd like to connect with other entrepreneurs on their human design journey, join our free Facebook community, Human Design for entrepreneurs.
- 19:17Nicole Laino: Go to NicoleLano Me Podcastlinks to join the group, book a human design reading with me or access our free human design resources.
- 19:26Nicole Laino: We'll see you there.