Latest / The You Project / #1542 Terrified Of Being Wrong - Harps

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#1542 Terrified Of Being Wrong - Harps · The You Project

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Speaker 1: I get a term. I hope you greats. This will
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Speaker 1: be brief. This is a solo as you probably already know,
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Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about the top. This is a
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Speaker 1: big topic, and I'm just opening the door. And more
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Speaker 1: than anything, this is not particularly instructural or rescriptive, but
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Speaker 1: it's something that I have been thinking about a lot lately.
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Speaker 1: I open these doors and go down these rabbit holes
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Speaker 1: where I I spent a lot of time thinking about
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Speaker 1: this stuff and writing notes and talking into my phone
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Speaker 1: and recording audio messages, and so this is a little
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Speaker 1: bit of a culmination of today and yesterday in between
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Speaker 1: other stuff. I've just been thinking broadly, I guess for
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Speaker 1: a long time, I've been thinking broadly about why why
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Speaker 1: people are so desperate to be right, and why we
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Speaker 1: are so resistant to quite often and anyone or anything
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Speaker 1: that doesn't agree with us or align with us, and
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Speaker 1: why there is such a I don't know if it's
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Speaker 1: more than ever, or it just seems like to me,
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Speaker 1: maybe it's just because I'm thinking about it or more
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Speaker 1: aware of it or more focused on it. But a
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Speaker 1: prevalence of confirmation bias, you know, echo chambers where people
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Speaker 1: only listen to people who agree with them or support them,
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Speaker 1: or have the same or similar ideology or philosophy or
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Speaker 1: lifestyle or training method or religion or culture, or they
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Speaker 1: basically hang out with either literally or metaphorically or virtually online.
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Speaker 1: They hang out with people who are essentially singing from
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Speaker 1: the same hymn sheet because that makes them feel good
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Speaker 1: about what they're doing and what they're saying, and what
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Speaker 1: they're believing and what they're thinking. And we don't like
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Speaker 1: to be uncomfortable. And anyone that might have evidence or
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Speaker 1: even a philosophy or ideology that doesn't agree with ours
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Speaker 1: or align with ours, for many reasons that I'll unpack
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Speaker 1: in a moment, could be considered to be some kind
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Speaker 1: of adversary that we need to conquer or at the
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Speaker 1: very least disagree with or disdain or dispute. But imagine
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Speaker 1: if we didn't imagine if imagine if we didn't have
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Speaker 1: to be right, Imagine if we were okay with not
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Speaker 1: knowing what, if we just went I don't know, I
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Speaker 1: don't know what is right, I don't know what is
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Speaker 1: wrong in terms of that that topic or that conversation.
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Speaker 1: And some will have very strong opinions and ideas on it,
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Speaker 1: but some it's like, sometimes people ask me questions about
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Speaker 1: things that I really don't have great knowledge or understanding of.
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Speaker 1: I really don't have the data. I don't have the
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Speaker 1: inside or the awareness or the knowledge. And there have
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Speaker 1: been lots of times when I have felt on my journey,
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Speaker 1: I've felt compelled to have an opinion about something I
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Speaker 1: didn't fucking know about because my ego or my self
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Speaker 1: esteem or I don't know, my need to please my people,
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Speaker 1: pleasing default setting just kind of raised its ugly head,
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Speaker 1: and so I had to appear like I knew something
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Speaker 1: so I could contribute, because who wants to go, oh, geez,
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Speaker 1: I don't know, especially when people look up to you
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Speaker 1: or think you know stuff right. My ego definitely doesn't
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Speaker 1: want that. So it's been it's been a challenge for
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Speaker 1: me because I've liked being right. And then, you know,
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Speaker 1: this is one of the really hard things I think about,
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Speaker 1: you know, personal development, the journey. Not personal development the
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Speaker 1: podcast or the book or the article or the video
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Speaker 1: or the program or the course or the cliche or
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Speaker 1: the poster, but personal development that is that is you developing,
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Speaker 1: me developing, improving, growing, becoming more aware, more evolved that
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Speaker 1: whatever that means doing better things, creating better things, being
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Speaker 1: more calm, more effective, becoming really becoming a better version
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Speaker 1: of myself or yourself? What does that even mean? And
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Speaker 1: I guess over the years, there's probably been more than
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Speaker 1: I don't even know, but hundreds of things that I knew.
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Speaker 1: When I say new, I have that in inverted commas,
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Speaker 1: that I knew that I was right about. And then
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Speaker 1: over time those things that I was right about turns
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Speaker 1: out I was wrong. I wasn't right at all, And
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Speaker 1: but I truly believed that I was right right. I
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Speaker 1: was quite defiant. But what had actually happened was I
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Speaker 1: had confused believing with knowing I didn't know. I actually
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Speaker 1: didn't know. I just thought I knew. And I'd confused
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Speaker 1: thinking I was right with actually being right. I didn't
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Speaker 1: really know. I didn't know. I just thought I knew.
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Speaker 1: And of course I always told myself. I always liked
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Speaker 1: to believe that I was open minded, because that made
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Speaker 1: me feel good about me. And we all like to
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Speaker 1: feel good about ourselves. We all want us, you know,
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Speaker 1: think that we are open minded and we are objective,
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Speaker 1: but honestly, and this is see, this is one of
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Speaker 1: the tough things about this conversation is not fucking open
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Speaker 1: minded and objective, because our experience of the world as
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Speaker 1: individuals is a subjective interpretation of things that are going on. Now,
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Speaker 1: does that mean that we have no capacity to be
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Speaker 1: open minded about some things? No, it doesn't. It doesn't.
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Speaker 1: But what it does mean is when we know that, like,
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Speaker 1: you know, one thing happens, and ten people are there,
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Speaker 1: one thing happens in that three dimensional space, ten people
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Speaker 1: witness it, or experience it, or are in the middle
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Speaker 1: of it. Well, they don't all have the same interpretation.
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Speaker 1: Therefore they don't all have the same individual experience. And
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Speaker 1: so part of this whole you know, exploration is to
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Speaker 1: think about what is real? What is real? And what
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Speaker 1: is my version of real? And why? What is this
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Speaker 1: compulsion that I have to be right? And what is
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Speaker 1: this compulsion that I have when somebody questions what I
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Speaker 1: think is right to not listen, to shut down, to
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Speaker 1: shut down, to not listen, to be critical. For me,
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Speaker 1: I think that in some regards I was objective and
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Speaker 1: open minded to an extent with some things, but with
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Speaker 1: many things I wasn't, you know, with some subjects and
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Speaker 1: conversations I was unteachable because I already knew what was right,
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Speaker 1: or more accurately, I believed I knew, but I didn't.
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Speaker 1: And so if you were in my orbit, a potential
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Speaker 1: teacher to me, and you didn't agree with my thinking,
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Speaker 1: then I couldn't learn anything from you. I wouldn't let
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Speaker 1: myself learn anything from you. Were my intentions good? Yes,
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Speaker 1: I think, I think, But then maybe I'm trying to
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Speaker 1: make myself feel good by saying that I certainly didn't
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Speaker 1: have bad intentions. I think my intentions were mostly good.
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Speaker 1: But were my beliefs correct, No, they weren't. And of
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Speaker 1: course my ego and my self esteem were boosted by
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Speaker 1: my story of how evolved and caring and aware and
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Speaker 1: open and even spiritual I was. And I would even
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Speaker 1: try to enlighten people that I believed were flawed in
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Speaker 1: their thinking with my correct thinking, truly believing that I
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Speaker 1: was going to open their eyes to the truth, which
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Speaker 1: was really just my thinking. Do I get some things right?
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Speaker 1: Of course? Do you get some things right? Of course?
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Speaker 1: We all get things right, we all get things wrong.
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Speaker 1: But we seem to live in a time and a
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Speaker 1: culture where people are terrified of being wrong or owning
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Speaker 1: up to the fact that they just don't fucking know
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Speaker 1: something more than ever I say, I don't know, I
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Speaker 1: don't know. I could give you, I could give you
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Speaker 1: an opinion, but an opinions not knowledge, and opinions not truth,
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Speaker 1: opinions not evidence. I could tell you my gut feeling.
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Speaker 1: I could give you maybe an insight based on another
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Speaker 1: thing that's in the ballpark of this thing, but none
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Speaker 1: of that is absolute knowledge. So here's what I think
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Speaker 1: now these days, and here's what I want you. I've
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Speaker 1: got eight thoughts that I've jotted down. I don't know
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Speaker 1: how this is going to go, but I'll assume that
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Speaker 1: you've consented to hearing these thoughts and ideas because I've
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Speaker 1: tuned in. So if you need to jump out, this
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Speaker 1: will be the time. So these are my thoughts and
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Speaker 1: my ideas around the topic of why we are so
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Speaker 1: adverse to terrified of against being wrong. So number one
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Speaker 1: is I've always and we'll all I've always gotten and
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Speaker 1: we'll always get things wrong. I could be wrong with
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Speaker 1: what I'm about to say next, but I think i'm
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Speaker 1: wrong less often. But I'm also open to being wrong
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Speaker 1: more than I was a lot more. I'm more comfortable
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Speaker 1: than ever, in fact, in my being wrongness being wrongness
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Speaker 1: definitely a term, by the way, And I'm also more
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Speaker 1: comfortable than ever to talk about this stuff publicly because
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Speaker 1: I think I think that for me, it keeps me
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Speaker 1: grounded and it keeps me accountable. And while I don't
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Speaker 1: think I'm the high watermark for humility because I've got
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Speaker 1: an ego and I'm a fuck with sometimes I think
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Speaker 1: it keeps me more humble than I would be otherwise.
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Speaker 1: And I've also received feedback from some of you that
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Speaker 1: tell me that you find it somewhat encouraging and reassuring
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Speaker 1: that that I'm that I'm regularly fucking up and getting
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Speaker 1: things wrong, and that I have good and bad days,
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Speaker 1: and that I have peaks and troughs, and that you
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Speaker 1: know I make mistakes, and of course I do all
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Speaker 1: of that. Idea number two is that a point number
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Speaker 1: two is that I think the the idea of saying
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Speaker 1: I don't know, or I'm wrong or I don't un understand,
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Speaker 1: for many people, not all, but for many people, that
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Speaker 1: doesn't really fit within the typical social operating system of
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Speaker 1: trying to appear smart, trying to seem informed and evolved,
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Speaker 1: and educated and spiritual and fill in the blank. Being
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Speaker 1: perceived as not knowing, being perceived as being stupid or
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Speaker 1: ignorant or incompetent definitely ain't going to get us any
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Speaker 1: social status points. And so in our culture we are
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Speaker 1: culturally sorry for the repetition there, but culturally sociologically and
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Speaker 1: psychologically incentivized to act smart, to pretend that we know,
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Speaker 1: to pretend that we're right, and to have to seem
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Speaker 1: to have opinions on things that we actually know fuck
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Speaker 1: all about because we don't want to look dumb. We
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Speaker 1: want to fit in. And part of fitting in, part
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Speaker 1: of belonging, part of being accepted, part of being valued,
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Speaker 1: part of being perceived in a certain way, is about
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Speaker 1: presenting ourselves in a certain way. And we were always
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Speaker 1: presenting ourselves, not always, but we're often presenting ourselves in
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Speaker 1: a way publicly that we believe will be the most
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Speaker 1: socially rewarded, culturally accepted, the most valued. And who wants
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Speaker 1: to appear ignorant? Who wants to appear incompetent, who wants
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Speaker 1: to appear stupid or unknowing? We don't. We don't. Idea
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Speaker 1: Number three is that most of us don't choose our
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Speaker 1: beliefs or didn't choose our beliefs, or most of our
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Speaker 1: belief you think about the things that and I've spoken
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Speaker 1: about this many times, but think about the genesis, the
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Speaker 1: origin story of the things that you believe to be true.
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Speaker 1: When did you make a decision about Think about some
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Speaker 1: fundamental truths. And it could be something like I believe
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Speaker 1: in God, or it could be something like this political
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Speaker 1: party is bad, or it could be something like I'm
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Speaker 1: lacking talent and I will never succeed. And they all
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Speaker 1: can be life changing, life informing, life limiting, or life
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Speaker 1: empowering beliefs. There are good and bad beliefs, of course,
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Speaker 1: positive and negative, empowering and disempowering. But think about try
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Speaker 1: to remember the time that you chose each of those
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Speaker 1: individual beliefs. And for most of us, we can't remember
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Speaker 1: that time because we never chose any of them. Those
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Speaker 1: beliefs just kind of chose us. Those beliefs that we have,
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Speaker 1: for better or worse, are really consequences of interactions with
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Speaker 1: people and things in our world. People, family, friends, coaches, teachers, partners, idols,
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Speaker 1: people we look up to, all things media, social media, TV, books, magazines,
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Speaker 1: our church, our synagogue, our culture, our group, our company,
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Speaker 1: our organization, the people that we intersect with. All of
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Speaker 1: these things have influenced and informed how we think, what
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Speaker 1: we think, the way we think, and the way we believe,
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Speaker 1: and in many ways we are just a byproduct of that.
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Speaker 1: And then we believe a way, think a certain way,
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Speaker 1: and know certain things, or we think we do not
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Speaker 1: because we've thought critically and we've analyzed the data and
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Speaker 1: we've looked at different options and come to a conscious conclusion.
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Speaker 1: But rather the way that we think, the way that
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Speaker 1: we believe, and what we believe, that is merely a
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Speaker 1: byproduct of where we've been, what we've seen, who we've
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Speaker 1: been around. We're taught, we're taught how to think and
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Speaker 1: what to think. And once we're taught how to think
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Speaker 1: and what we think, we do we kind of do
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Speaker 1: what we've been trained to do. And then when you
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Speaker 1: have as a consequence of that training, that programming, that
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Speaker 1: informing that conditioning, now you have these set ideas, these
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Speaker 1: set beliefs, these set opinions, these set thoughts, and then
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Speaker 1: something kind of intersex with that thought, that philosophy, that
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Speaker 1: ideology that doesn't resonate you desperately want to criticize that
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Speaker 1: because that is something of a threat. Well, unpack that
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Speaker 1: more in a moment, and I think point number four.
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Speaker 1: It's like we talk about authenticity and humility and vulnerability,
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Speaker 1: like we all. I mean, it's almost over talked about,
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Speaker 1: you know, this whole thing of being true to ourselves
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Speaker 1: and the real you and vulnerable and authentic and humble
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Speaker 1: and aware. And while we like the idea of that stuff,
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Speaker 1: I want to be authentic at all costs. I want
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Speaker 1: to be vulnerable. I want to be real. We like
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Speaker 1: the idea, we like the theory, we like the sound
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Speaker 1: of that. We want to do it. But in my
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Speaker 1: experience and observation only, this is my anecdotal evidence, very
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Speaker 1: people will do it. It's like when people come to my
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Speaker 1: workshops and I'm talking about things like this and people
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Speaker 1: nod their head, and people put up their hand, and
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Speaker 1: people tell me at the end they've had a light
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Speaker 1: bulb moment or multiple light bold moments, and I say,
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Speaker 1: put up your hand. If this is resonating hands go up,
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Speaker 1: put up your hand, if this is you, that this
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Speaker 1: is me, fuck yeah, put up your hand. If you
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Speaker 1: feel like this is going to be the start for
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Speaker 1: you to change something big or smile on the hands
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Speaker 1: go up. Then people go home and don't do anything.
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Speaker 1: Because the idea of being vulnerable, authentic, willing to be wrong, humble,
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Speaker 1: self aware, the idea of doing all of these things
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Speaker 1: requires no efforts but to actually do them, to put
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Speaker 1: them into practice, to be the person who who turns
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Speaker 1: that intention, that want, that desire to be all of
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Speaker 1: these things, who turns that into a process, into action,
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Speaker 1: into outcomes, and then creates a new personal reality. I
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Speaker 1: am this person now and I'm putting up my hand.
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Speaker 1: This is hard, and I'm not there yet. I'm definitely
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Speaker 1: not there yet, but I'm I'm a work in progress.
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Speaker 1: Like the idea of being all of this great stuff
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Speaker 1: that we talk about on this show, and this is
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Speaker 1: an ever present reality. The idea is, remember this is
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Speaker 1: just the new project. Is just a bloke and sometimes
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Speaker 1: a bloken a guess, mostly a bloken a guess talking
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Speaker 1: about stuff. We're just talking about stuff, and you're just
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Speaker 1: listening to a bloke today talk about stuff. It's just
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Speaker 1: theory until you say, you know what, fuck it, I'm
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Speaker 1: going to make this theory. These words, these ideas, these intentions,
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Speaker 1: these things that I want to do, but keep finding
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Speaker 1: a reason to not actually do them. I'm going to commit.
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Speaker 1: I'm going to fully commit, and I'm going to do it.
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Speaker 1: And I know that it won't be painless and fun
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Speaker 1: and quick and sexy, and I get all of that,
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Speaker 1: But nonetheless, I am fucking in because I am so
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Speaker 1: tired of having awareness and realization and information and education
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Speaker 1: and inspiration that's relevant to me, that's meaningful for me,
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Speaker 1: that's potentially transformational for me. That I do not operate,
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Speaker 1: that I do not operate in, that I do not operationalize,
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Speaker 1: that I do not fucking do something with This is
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Speaker 1: the thing, and this is why. And I'm not frustrated,
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Speaker 1: but he says defensively, I'm not. But I get excited,
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Speaker 1: I get motivated, I get my energy goes up because
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Speaker 1: this stuff that I'm talking about now, this is the stuff.
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Speaker 1: This is the stuff that changes us. Listening to me
21:05
Speaker 1: doesn't change you. Reading a book doesn't change you. Turning
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Speaker 1: up to a workshop doesn't change you. Knowing getting new
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Speaker 1: information doesn't change you. Somebody encouraging you doesn't change you.
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Speaker 1: All of those things that I just mentioned might or
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Speaker 1: might not impact you. And as a result, you may
21:25
Speaker 1: or may not make a decision or decisions, and you
21:29
Speaker 1: may or may not take some action, and you may
21:33
Speaker 1: or may not persevere, and you may or may not improvise,
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Speaker 1: adapt and overcome in the fucking mayhem of doing the work.
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Speaker 1: And you may keep going, and you may change your
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Speaker 1: life or none of that. But irrespective of the idea,
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Speaker 1: the information or the stimulus, be that my show, be
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Speaker 1: that a book, be that a moment in time, be
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Speaker 1: that some kind of personal revelation, irrespective of the stimulus
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Speaker 1: or the external influence, it still comes down to you.
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Speaker 1: Number six is the truth. That truth according to me.
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Speaker 1: So take that with a grain of salt. That we
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Speaker 1: all look at the world through our own window. And that,
22:19
Speaker 1: of course window is a metaphor, of course, but I
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Speaker 1: guess if we're talking about this metaphorical window, our window
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Speaker 1: would be comprised of things like our beliefs, our values,
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Speaker 1: our ideas, our experiences, our memories, our lifestyle, aforementioned programming
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Speaker 1: and indoctrination, and all of the influence is the s
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Speaker 1: an influence who influence ers ers on planet us. But
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Speaker 1: more often than not, we don't even see the window
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Speaker 1: because our face is pressed up against the glass. We
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Speaker 1: don't see it. We don't see our own programming. We
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Speaker 1: don't see our bias. We don't see that we are
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Speaker 1: being shaped, molded, influenced, and to a large extent, determined
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Speaker 1: by the things that we think and believe, irrespective of
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Speaker 1: how right or wrong they are. So back to the
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Speaker 1: topic of the chat, which is being prepared to be
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Speaker 1: wrong and being okay with it. And while we're why
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Speaker 1: we are so terrified of being wrong. The challenge for us,
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Speaker 1: part of the challenge is to recognize our own programming.
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Speaker 1: This is not to say, ah, it's everything I thought
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Speaker 1: was right is now wrong. It's not that at all.
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Speaker 1: It's just recognizing, Oh, I know why I think this way.
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Speaker 1: I know where this belief came from. I know I
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Speaker 1: see that particular topic or situation the way that I
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Speaker 1: see it because Dad does and Dad's been my dad forever,
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Speaker 1: and he thinks that, and and I love Dad, and
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Speaker 1: I respect dad, or Mum and Mum thinks this, and
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Speaker 1: I think that, and maybe Mum's right, maybe Dad's wrong,
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Speaker 1: or the other way around, or but nonetheless, it's good
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Speaker 1: to have that awareness and then consider that maybe maybe
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Speaker 1: I'm looking through Mum's window and Dad's window half the time.
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Speaker 1: Maybe I don't need to look through a window at all.
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Speaker 1: Maybe I can look beyond the window and see what
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Speaker 1: is not just what I believe is. Number seven is
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Speaker 1: because why people are so desperate to be right and
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Speaker 1: not wrong is because sometimes that's what the group that
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Speaker 1: someone is in requires. Like we have been in groups
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Speaker 1: where in order to stay in the group that I
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Speaker 1: was in, I needed to believe certain things and do
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Speaker 1: certain things, and align with certain things and behave certain ways,
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Speaker 1: and all of those absolute non negotiables were prerequisites of
25:27
Speaker 1: being in the group. And so in order to stay
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Speaker 1: in the group, I need to make sure that I
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Speaker 1: defend the thinking of the group. I need to defend
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Speaker 1: the beliefs, the mandates, the ideology, the philosophy of the group.
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Speaker 1: Because I am in the right group, of course I'm
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Speaker 1: in the right group, and everyone who isn't in my
25:51
Speaker 1: group is in obviously the wrong group. And because I'm
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Speaker 1: in the right group, then what I believe in, what
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Speaker 1: I think being part of the right group is right.
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Speaker 1: And this is why people don't want to be wrong.
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Speaker 1: I mean, imagine if after years or decades of believing
26:12
Speaker 1: a certain thing, and I know this is scary, but
26:17
Speaker 1: imagine if somehow you actually truly discovered Imagine if some
26:23
Speaker 1: curtain was pulled back in your brain, some metaphoric curtain
26:28
Speaker 1: got pulled back that exposed you to the truth that
26:34
Speaker 1: you couldn't see, a truth that you couldn't see. I mean, wow.
26:44
Speaker 1: I mean over the years, when I really believe certain things,
26:49
Speaker 1: and sometimes I would get presented with not a thought
26:52
Speaker 1: or an idea, but actually evidence like yeah, data science,
26:59
Speaker 1: like hard evidence that by the way, did prove to
27:02
Speaker 1: be true, not pseudo evidence or pseudoscience. Oh. I really
27:07
Speaker 1: pushed back. I really pushed back because when I've believed
27:14
Speaker 1: a certain thing for a long time and then all
27:16
Speaker 1: of a sudden, I get some new information that is
27:23
Speaker 1: not in line with what I know. In inverted commas
27:26
Speaker 1: is right, that shit's going to fuck you up. That's
27:30
Speaker 1: going to dissorient your whole cognitive, emotional, sociological world, Like
27:38
Speaker 1: how on earth? Like that's the that's terrifying, you know,
27:48
Speaker 1: And this is the This is the again, this is
27:51
Speaker 1: the practical reality of actually being vulnerable, of actually being
27:58
Speaker 1: open to learning and unlearning. Like I've said, people love
28:03
Speaker 1: the idea of it because sounds good. I want to
28:06
Speaker 1: be vulable, vulnerable. I want to be raw, real, authentic.
28:09
Speaker 1: I want to be open to learning and unlearning. Yeah.
28:12
Speaker 1: High five until you actually discover that the thing that
28:18
Speaker 1: is intertwined with who you are is bullshit or is
28:28
Speaker 1: only partially true. And number eight, recognizing acknowledging and leaning
28:34
Speaker 1: into our lack of knowledge and understanding of certain things.
28:41
Speaker 1: I'm going to say that again, recognizing acknowledging and even
28:46
Speaker 1: leaning into our lack of knowledge and understanding of certain
28:49
Speaker 1: things in front of other people, like being real and
28:52
Speaker 1: raw like this is actually an exercise in self awareness
28:56
Speaker 1: and humility and authenticity and personal growth because you're doing
29:01
Speaker 1: we're doing the hard thing, the hard thing, the uncomfortable thing.
29:10
Speaker 1: And most importantly in that scenario, when you're leaning into
29:15
Speaker 1: you know, when you're saying, oh look I don't know,
29:18
Speaker 1: or you're saying I got it wrong, or you're saying
29:20
Speaker 1: I fucked up, or you're saying I was misinformed, that
29:25
Speaker 1: is that is an exercise in resilience. That is an
29:29
Speaker 1: exercise in growth. That is that is you not role playing,
29:36
Speaker 1: not pretending, not trying to gain social status or social
29:41
Speaker 1: credit points. That's you being real and raw, no matter
29:46
Speaker 1: the social cost, no matter the outcome. And this is
29:56
Speaker 1: the you know, the personal development journey. While there is
30:02
Speaker 1: a lot of you know resources, books and me and
30:07
Speaker 1: videos and podcasts, and I mean, there's mountains of shit, right,
30:12
Speaker 1: and you all know that there's fucking mountains of stuff.
30:15
Speaker 1: Some of it's bullshit, some of it's brilliant, some of
30:18
Speaker 1: it's in between. And if I'm being honest, probably I
30:21
Speaker 1: vary between bullshit and brilliant. Who knows, I don't know.
30:24
Speaker 1: I'll let you decide.
30:25
Speaker 2: But but really, really, really, the personal growth journey is lonely.
30:36
Speaker 1: It's lonely because ultimately, it's you. It's you and your thoughts,
30:42
Speaker 1: it's you and your courage, it's you and your self awareness,
30:45
Speaker 1: it's you and your honesty. It's you. When no one's
30:49
Speaker 1: fucking looking, it's you. It's you. Going I fucked up.
30:54
Speaker 1: Not here's five excuses. Just I fucked up. I'm not
30:58
Speaker 1: looking for self pity or a pat on back or
31:01
Speaker 1: a fucking group hug. Just I fucked up. And that's okay.
31:05
Speaker 1: Now I know better. I'm going to do better. I
31:07
Speaker 1: got that wrong. I've got lots of things right, I've
31:09
Speaker 1: got a few things wrong. I'm trying like this journey.
31:14
Speaker 1: You know, I'm fifteen hundred and whatever episodes in now
31:17
Speaker 1: I must be nearly fifteen fifty. I don't know, but like,
31:21
Speaker 1: this is the thing. Like I'm sitting here, it's Saturday night,
31:25
Speaker 1: it's June one, it's eight forty seven, and I was
31:30
Speaker 1: just sitting here writing some stuff, and I decided to
31:34
Speaker 1: just record this in the moment and right now, sitting
31:37
Speaker 1: in my house by myself, I'm reflecting, I'm thinking, and
31:41
Speaker 1: this is raw and real. This is not manufactured, this
31:44
Speaker 1: is not scripted. I'm not role playing. And some people
31:49
Speaker 1: will do I think everyone will love this, of course
31:51
Speaker 1: I don't. Do. I think some people have already tuned out.
31:53
Speaker 1: Of course they have. Do. I think some people are
31:55
Speaker 1: going to find a reason to to take action. I
31:59
Speaker 1: do do. I think some people will give it another
32:03
Speaker 1: day or two's thought. I do. Do. I think some
32:05
Speaker 1: people will think it's bullshit and discard it. I do.
32:08
Speaker 1: And all of that is okay. When I want to
32:11
Speaker 1: coach someone, or I do coach someone, or I want
32:14
Speaker 1: to encourage or support or serve someone, what I care
32:18
Speaker 1: about is first and foremost, like, are they ready to
32:23
Speaker 1: do the work, because it doesn't matter what I'm saying,
32:27
Speaker 1: doesn't matter how right, accurate, informed, well intentioned it is,
32:33
Speaker 1: or whoever is. What matters is that we're ready to
32:38
Speaker 1: actually take charge, and we're ready to be okay with
32:46
Speaker 1: being flawed. We're ready to be okay being wrong. We're
32:52
Speaker 1: ready to be okay publicly socially with saying I don't know,
32:58
Speaker 1: or I'm embarrassed, or I'm a bit scared, or I
33:03
Speaker 1: feel a bit insecure, because all of those things are
33:10
Speaker 1: true for all of us. At some stage, I think
33:17
Speaker 1: that's it. I think I'm done. It's probably more, but
33:23
Speaker 1: maybe I need a cup of tea. See your team,
33:30
Speaker 1: Hope you got something from that