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Procrastination Fixes: Why Motivation Isn’t Enough (and What Helps) · Unspoken Career Truths

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Welcome to Unspoken Career Truths.
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I'm Lauren Levette Gilbert. And I'm Cara Wood.
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And we're here to be the coworkers you can trust.
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So last week we talked about toxic leadership, and today
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we're kicking off an entire month about a different kind of
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toxic. Is this the kind that is maybe
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got some inner demons in it? Yes, because nobody's perfect,
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Lauren and. Unfortunately.
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No, we're not. We're all not perfect.
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So we just wanted to talk about like, that's kind of an unspoken
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truth in itself. And what are some other unspoken
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truths when it comes to coming to terms with your own toxic
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traits? And first up, because we didn't
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want to put it off at all, is procrastination.
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I see what you did there. We want to talk about how do you
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spot it and how do you stop it. Lauren, what are your tell tale
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signs or feelings when or if you are procrastinating?
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I have to say I'm not a very big procrastinator, mostly because
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if something's like really important and I have to do it, I
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can't really concentrate on anything else and it kind of
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stresses me out. So like the things that are
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biggest and loudest in my head, I like try to tackle first.
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And so it tends to allow me to not really procrastinate as much
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because I do the things that are like top of mind.
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And that makes me think of, have you heard of the Eisenhower
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Matrix, where there are things that are important and then
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there are things that are urgent.
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And a lot of times what screams for me is those urgent things,
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but not always the important ones, is that sometimes happen.
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Yeah, that resonates a lot actually.
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It's really easy to like sit and go through your inbox and be
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like, I did all these things, like I checked it off.
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But there's other important things that didn't get done
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because you were just doing e-mail.
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Especially in our world today where it's like you get a Slack
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or an e-mail or a LinkedIn message or this like just to
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kind of get stuck in the like, what seems at least to be like
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urgent to answer versus like what are your actual important
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priorities that are moving the needle and like impacting things
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for you and doing those over just answering all the urgent?
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Emails. Yeah, that's what the Eisenhower
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Matrix is all about. I have to say one of the things
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I think of is like metaphor slash cartoon.
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If people love Calvin Hobbs as much as I do is like, I'm
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definitely someone who can relate to the whole waiting for
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that last minute panic. There's actually this adventure
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in the collection. In the collection.
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The days are just packed where Calvin actually builds a time
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machine to try to get ahead of the assignment that's due, and
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then he ends up in this argument with three versions of himself,
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like one at six, one at 7:00 and 1:00 at 8.
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And who's really responsible for missing this assignment before
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bedtime? Don't worry, everyone who's
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stuffed animal does the assignment while he's building a
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time machine. But I just really relate to that
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because sometimes you are like, OK, let me just wait for
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inspiration. Let me just like, wait for
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something magical to happen. So if other people are out there
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who know that feeling, there's some neuroscience to explain it.
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Procrastination isn't that you're lazy.
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It's not that you're this little kid just, you know, making up
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excuses not to do your homework. It's actually emotional
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regulation. Here's what happens.
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Step one, you're anxious about something.
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So Lauren, you talked about like that idea in your head, there's
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this thing that you have to get done.
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You're it's not, you're not over it.
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That anxiety is triggered by either the difficult task or
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whatever, you know, emotional weight you put on it.
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And then a lot of people self soothe with avoidance.
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So let me, you know, watch some TV, feel better, put on some
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music, anything you can do to sort of not do the uncomfortable
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thing that just triggered the anxiety.
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And then lastly, if you don't do anything, you don't solve the
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issue, you're not as disciplined as Lauren, then you just have
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guilt. You just have stress.
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That is all you have. And you're kind of in that loop
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of anxiety and avoidance. And the avoidance doesn't help
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you do the. Thing what I struggle with the
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most and what what you were talking about like urgent versed
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verse important. I struggle with that because
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there's so much noise and we just get hit with everything and
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like sometimes I have to tackle the urgent thing because it's
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due today, but it's not the most important thing.
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Time blocking has been a game changer for me to tackle stuff
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like this, where it's like this is your 30 minutes to focus on
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this one thing and like after that you got to move on to
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something else. Yeah, because honestly, tackling
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urgent but unimportant things can be a form of
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procrastination. And so if you have, if you look
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at what you are procrastinating from, you're gonna see a couple
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of things. You're gonna see how the things
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that you procrastinate from make you feel like what are those
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things that you avoid? And you're on which emotions are
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attached to them. But then you're also gonna see
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like the pattern of am I avoiding important things that
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are just not urgent or don't come with their own deadline,
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which is a very common thing to do.
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And I love that idea of time blocking.
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That is a really good skill. And listen to our whole time
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management episode. It is a.
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Good one. Episode 1.
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Yeah. And I, I don't think there's, I
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don't think procrastination is all bad, right?
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Like, I think it gives you an indication of what's important.
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Like, I think sometimes we worry like, are we focusing on the
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right things? And what I try to do then is
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like, listen and be like, OK, what's the thing that's like
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actually stressing me out? Because you actually know what's
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important. I'm so glad that you brought up
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the procrastination isn't always like the worst thing and we're
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going to be talking about this every time we talk about a toxic
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trait. It's like, what are some of the
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good things this might be giving you or these the good things
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that it's trying to give you? And for me, procrastination is a
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way that your brain is actually trying to take care of how you
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feel. There is like important feelings
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that procrastination is telling you about.
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Then it doesn't cope really well.
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And we're really bad at guessing a lot of times about how we're
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going to feel in the future. So procrastination is always
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happening before you actually do the thing, which is why a lot of
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times the advice is like, just do the smallest step towards it.
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Just work on it for 3 minutes. The reason that you hear that
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advice over and over again is because you're already guessing
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something's going to be bad. You're making it way worse than
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it is in your head. And if you just kind of get
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started, maybe that will be the trigger that you needed.
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So, Lauren, you talked a little bit about kind of like knowing
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your priorities. Are there other ways that you
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stay disciplined? At the start of every week,
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either Sunday night or like Monday morning, I like look at
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when I look at like my whole week and then I look at like my
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To Do List and all my priorities and I kind of sat like I call
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this week a success. If I get these three things
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done, then it's harder for me to kind of veer off because a lot
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of the problem is there's just so many things and you don't
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have time to kind of figure out what might be important.
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So if it's at the end of every day or the beginning of every
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day, just kind of sitting down and being like, all right,
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success looks like 1-2, three or even just one.
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And like when you're busy and when you got a lot going on or
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you only have 30 minutes or you're just feeling stressed, go
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back to that one thing and it makes it easier to kind of
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anchor on it. I find that super helpful
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because otherwise I'll get lost and be like, oh, maybe I'll just
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answer all these 500 emails in my inbox because like I should
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be focusing on the the thing that's moving the needle and I
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need to set that up so I can continue to go back to it.
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That, that makes a lot of sense. And I feel like your advice is
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going to resonate a lot with the people who are, I think it's
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called like multitasking procrastinators because there's
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different kinds. So if you're someone who's
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always feeling busy, that is a specific kind of
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procrastination. And to your point, it's all
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about prioritization. There are other kinds of
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procrastinators, perfectionist procrastinators, for example,
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who are like, I have built this up so much in my head that I
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have really high standards and expectations for what it's going
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to be. And then there are other kinds
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of procrastinators who are kind of like called novelty secret
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procrastinators. And those are the ones who just
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want to be doing new things. So as soon as something feels
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like it might be boring or half solved, they're not engaged
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anymore in it. Oh, I didn't know there were
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different kinds of procrastinators.
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I feel like the Busy 1, is that the one that resonates the most
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with me? I think I kind of sit in the
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middle of a lot of things. So other people's urgency, we
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didn't really talk about that. But I also think that's a
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challenge when it comes to procrastination too.
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Like you're not only getting your urgency, but like if you're
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a member of a team or you have employees on your team or you're
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just a part of a larger organization, you're also trying
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to manage what everybody else might need from you.
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And that can seem overwhelming. Well, and I think that there is
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a like effect that that can have because if you have a team, you
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might need to move your deadline so that you get things done
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ahead of time so that your team has time to react.
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And if you have a, another procrastinator on your team or
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someone who's a real chronic procrastinator, a, you know,
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know that this is again an emotional thing.
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So they're not sabotaging. They might actually be like
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struggling. There might be something that's
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blocking them. We talked about removing
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blockers from people, other people on your team, but they
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could set you back or change the timelines on you and then add
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stress to everyone else. So getting at the heart of what
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is causing their procrastination for them is going to be super
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helpful and for you is going to be super helpful.
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But I also think that's a great call out because in a lot of the
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past episodes we've talked about like getting to know your team
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and really understanding like how they work, how do they want
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to receive feedback, like what kind of environment they work in
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Well. And so I think that's important
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to note too, like where potentially is there an
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opportunity to kind of help keep people accountable or know that
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maybe like they leave something to the last minute?
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These are just things that you kind of learn about your team
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and the people you work with, and it's good to kind of account
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for them. Yeah.
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And so I think there are two things to really diagnose and
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know when you're looking at either yourself or someone else
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who might be procrastinating. 1 is that emotional loop that I
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talked about. It's like what anxiety initially
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triggered or what emotion really initially triggered the start of
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this loop. And then the other one, and I
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also hinted at this is what kind of procrastinator the person is.
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And I find that knowing those two things, I end up, for me
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being about 80% of a solution. So I can observe a loop, I can
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pinpoint what's so stressful about the thing I'm avoiding.
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I can reality check if if it's really bad or not.
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I can break it down into smaller pieces.
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After all of that, Lauren, for me, there's still this 20% like
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of me that still needs an actual push in a new direction because
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motivation, like having your making yourself do something is
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internal. There's an internal driver
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that's telling you to do it. The way to get over
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procrastination is adding an external driver.
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And you've been talking about this, all the deadlines, other
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people needing it. There are things that are
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important in your life that you haven't done, and I'm talking to
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our audience that you haven't done because you have no
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external driver to do it. And so you can set a deadline.
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Your brain's going to tell you actually that deadline's not
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real. So what do you do?
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Instead of that, something else to do is actually just add
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another external trigger. And recently, I learned this
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habit of choosing something to do that's relatively short and
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feels emotionally worse than your actual task.
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Now people are going to think, oh, yeah, sometimes I do the
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dishes. I might mop the floor.
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I might clean. Something that feels really
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satisfying. That's actually something you'd
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rather do. And whatever you're avoiding,
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the thing I'm talking about is like, take a cold shower.
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Imagine putting hot sauce on your tongue.
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Like, I'm waiting, Lauren. Yep.
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Lauren just stuck out her tongue because that's disgusting to
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think about. Sometimes for me, all I need to
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do is think about that thing. Oh, I'm going to go, you know,
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do an ice bucket challenge on myself.
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Yeah, I love. That so that.
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OK, that one wouldn't work. Yeah, but I you, you made a
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reaction to the hot sauce. Like if there's something, if
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there's something else that you can think of that you're like,
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oh, I really don't want to do that.
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Sometimes just that alone can be your external trigger to like
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break the cycle of I feel bad about the other thing.
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You're like, actually, yeah, let me, you know, answer that
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e-mail, awkward e-mail. I've been avoiding or let me
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tackle that big presentation that's making me nervous.
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I love that those. Are really good 'cause it to
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your point? Like if this is a mental thing.
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So like, what's your little mental hack that can get you to
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motivated to do the thing? Yeah.
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So it all comes down again to like knowing yourself,
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recognizing when you're in that loop, kind of understanding
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where what is this issue? Is it prioritization?
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Is it have I made the project too big in my head?
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What's going on? And then after all of that,
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actually recognizing that you need the combination, you need
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the mental reason. Hey, this is important to me.
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This is why I'm feeling this way.
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My emotions are telling me that this matters to me.
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And you need the actual like external thing, which is like
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it's due to someone else. I told someone else I'd get it
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done. It's another, you didn't talk
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about that, but accountability buddies.
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A lot of times that is enough of an external trigger for people.
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So think about what your external trigger can be and
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think about what your internal feelings can be.
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And hopefully that improves procrastination for all of you.
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And that's what I was going to say car, I think don't be afraid
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to share it with a colleague, a friend, a leader.
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Like having someone else be a part of it is the accountability
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partner. I think that makes a huge
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difference, right? Like sometimes when I really
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don't want to do something, if even in my personal life, I'll
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tell my husband, like, I need you to like, or I need you to
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tell me to do this or like, I need you to like to help create
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the scenario where this is possible.
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If you're comfortable with your people on your team or even your
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leader, you can be like, listen, like this is something that's a
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challenging project for me. Like, can you please check in
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with me On this date? And I'd love to have a
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conversation about it. You don't have to say like, I'm
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a procrastinator and I don't want to do this.
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You can frame it as like, hey, this is a new challenge for me.
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I'd really love some help. Can we set some like specific
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meetings to check in? And then you have those dates on
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your calendar calendar to be accountable for.
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Yeah, I think the, like, setting up meetings to check in is a
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really great way to do that. Sort of under the radar.
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If you're like, you know that you're not gonna be doing it
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right. I think back to writing my,
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like, thesis and having my thesis advisor, just like, we
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need to meet regularly. Oh, we need to meet more
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regularly. And then you just got a meeting
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on your calendar where you have to tell someone like, Yep,
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here's where I'm at in my project.
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You can do that at work too. Yeah.
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Oh, I think that's a great point.
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Great, thanks everyone and hopefully this helps and please
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tell us share if this worked for you and if there are other toxic
14:59
traits that you think we should explore.
15:01
And that's a wrap. Thanks for joining us on
15:04
Unspoken Career Truths. Don't forget to follow us on
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