Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Are narcissist happy after the discard?
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on, beautiful folks?
- 0:02Today we're going to be asked answering the question, are
- 0:06narcissists happy after the discard phase?
- 0:10After they discard you, Maybe or maybe not.
- 0:12Move on with the new supply. If you're new here, my name is
- 0:14Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
- 0:17welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
- 0:36So boom. Welcome back, folks.
- 0:37Welcome back. Welcome back.
- 0:38Welcome back. Yes, our narcissist happy after
- 0:43the discard phase. There's a question.
- 0:46Yeah, I get this question a lot. A lot of people asking me this
- 0:49question lately. I just have to know, are they
- 0:51happy when they, when they discard you?
- 0:54Are they happy when they get rid of you?
- 0:56Are they happy, happy, happy, joy, joy, joy?
- 0:59Most of the time to answer that question is going to be it
- 1:01depends. Yeah, it really depends.
- 1:03It really depends on you. If you, if you, you, you, you
- 1:06truly believe if a narcissist can be happy, that's going to be
- 1:12extremely important, right? There's going to be an extremely
- 1:16important dynamic. There's going to be extremely
- 1:17important of space if you believe it or not.
- 1:20Can the narcissist be happy? So for me, I do think the
- 1:23narcissist have the ability to be happy.
- 1:25That's one of my beliefs and I'm sticking to it.
- 1:28I believe the narcissist, some narcissist have the ability to
- 1:31be happy and I'm sticking to that belief, right.
- 1:35But are they are they going to be happy after the discard?
- 1:37Most times y'all, the answer the question is going to be like
- 1:40sometimes yes. So now they're going to be happy
- 1:42after the discard because sometimes they feel like they're
- 1:45discarding you to upgrade their life.
- 1:47They're discarding you to feel like their life is going to get
- 1:50better. They feel like they're
- 1:51discarding you for greener pastures, like they're they're
- 1:54discarding you or get rid of getting rid of you to be able to
- 1:57move on to somebody else's. That's going to give them some
- 2:00new fresh narcissistic supply, right?
- 2:04That's the type of stuff that will happen.
- 2:06Like they feel like they're getting rid of you, discarding
- 2:08you for for somebody else. That really is it right there.
- 2:14I feel like that really is it. That's how the mind works.
- 2:18That's how narcissistic people like they feel like in order to
- 2:22be happy, I have to get new supply or maybe more supply,
- 2:26like the whatever. And I truly believe this right
- 2:29here. Whatever supply or validation
- 2:32that a narcissist is getting from you, it's eventually going
- 2:36to run out. It just, yeah, it's going to run
- 2:38out or it's going to run low. Those are the two options.
- 2:41It's going to run out or it's going to run low is never going
- 2:44to stay the same. Whatever form of narcissistic
- 2:47supply that they're getting for you, financial, sexual, visual,
- 2:50whatever it is, emotional connection, whatever, whatever
- 2:53is the supply that they're getting from you is going to
- 2:56either run super low or run out. You know, can a car run on
- 3:01fumes? Yes.
- 3:03Can a car run when the gas is on E when the light when the gas
- 3:07light comes on, can the car still run?
- 3:09Yes the car is going to still be able to run most times in these
- 3:14relationship dynamics right? The car is still going to be
- 3:16able to run well even when the gas light comes on right?
- 3:21That's going to happen. That type of stuff is going to
- 3:24transition like that type of stuff.
- 3:25It makes sense, but sooner or later it's going to run out.
- 3:30I know my car at least I know my car when the light come on, I
- 3:33got at least 10-15 more miles. I got AI drive a Prius, right?
- 3:37I'm going to get into another car because I'm not doing as
- 3:39much real estate as I used to. I got a Prius right, So I just I
- 3:45feel like in my space, in my mindset right here, it just
- 3:48makes sense to me. They're like, I know my car.
- 3:50I know I got 40 extra miles when the light comes on.
- 3:53It's like narcissists know when the supply is going to run out
- 3:56completely. So they need to, they need to
- 3:58revamp, they need to re up, they need to fill, they need to fill
- 4:00up their gas tank. So they'll discard you, they'll
- 4:03get rid of you for somebody else.
- 4:05Now what? Like I said, everybody gets
- 4:08emotionally discarded by a narcissist.
- 4:11If you hear, if you ever hear to my course, I have a course
- 4:14that's called understanding the seven stages of a narcissistic
- 4:17relationship, right? I have a course that's entitled
- 4:21that understanding of the seven stages of a narcissistic
- 4:23relationship. And in that course I talk about
- 4:27how everybody gets emotionally discarded by a narcissist, but
- 4:31not everybody gets physically discarded once.
- 4:34Once they physically discard you, they typically do it for
- 4:37somebody else. Like when they emotionally
- 4:39discard you or emotionally disconnect from you, it doesn't
- 4:41mean that they're going to move on to somebody else.
- 4:43It means that they they're just disconnected from you.
- 4:45And it may or may not mean that they're going to.
- 4:49It may or may not mean that they're going to, it may or may
- 4:55not mean that they're going to physically get rid of you.
- 4:59Like really like realistically, it doesn't mean that they're
- 5:01going to physically get rid of you, but they could mentally,
- 5:03emotionally do it. But when they physically discard
- 5:06you, yeah, typically they do it for somebody else.
- 5:08The narcissist, most narcissist can't go without having a having
- 5:11a form of supply, right? So if they're discarding you,
- 5:14typically they have somebody else.
- 5:15I'm not saying that they left you.
- 5:17Not everybody leaves with somebody else.
- 5:18Not 2. No two narcissists are going to
- 5:20be exactly a light, right. So no two narcissists are going
- 5:23to be exactly alike. But a lot of them will leave you
- 5:27for somebody else to get new supply, to get fresher supply.
- 5:30And they, they could be getting the same exact thing from the
- 5:33next person that they got from you.
- 5:35It's just new. It's just fresher.
- 5:38It's just different. Yeah, it's just different.
- 5:41You know, they can't explain why they're with this new person.
- 5:44They can't explain why they want to be with somebody else.
- 5:45It's just different. I just, things are just
- 5:49different here, right? Things are just different and
- 5:52whatnot. So they consider it when they,
- 5:54they say they just want different.
- 5:55This is what happens. And yes, they might initially be
- 5:59happy with the new supply or the new form of supply.
- 6:02It doesn't mean that they will permanently physically get rid
- 6:05of you. It doesn't mean that they will
- 6:07permanently physically, physically get rid of you.
- 6:09A lot of them will. Sometimes they'll keep you on
- 6:12the back burner just in case this new supply doesn't work out
- 6:15because they don't want to be without supply.
- 6:17They don't want to be by themselves for a long extended
- 6:19period of time. So that's the type of stuff that
- 6:21happens. It really does.
- 6:24This is the type of stuff that happens.
- 6:25This is the type of stuff that we go through, this type of
- 6:27stuff a lot of people go through and grow through in these
- 6:30situations. It really is.
- 6:33So I tell that I say that to say this.
- 6:35Y'all don't worry about their happiness when they moving on
- 6:39because if you're focused on their happiness, it doesn't
- 6:43allow you to be completely happy in your with your own.
- 6:46If you're focused on whether or not that they're happy with
- 6:49somebody else, it doesn't allow you to move on and be happy on
- 6:54your own. It doesn't work that way, right?
- 6:57It really, truly doesn't work that way.
- 7:00So I just feel like in these spaces, when you're dealing with
- 7:02narcissists, when you're dealing with toxic people, this is the
- 7:04mindset, this is the mentality, this is the dynamic that so many
- 7:07people face right here. You focus on their happy
- 7:09happiness because like they make you feel less than right.
- 7:12They leave you broken. I just did a video, I think it
- 7:14was yesterday, about how narcissists leave you broken.
- 7:17They want to leave you broken to make sure that they made the
- 7:19right decision when they decide to move on.
- 7:21So they want to break you, they want to hurt you.
- 7:23They want to harm you to make sure that you are they they
- 7:25can't get that same form of supply from you.
- 7:28So but again, I said they're not always leave you for somebody
- 7:30else. They just leave you for for
- 7:31greener pastures. The grass is greener on the
- 7:34other side of the fence. And then Lee, I told you the
- 7:37grass is greener over here. This is the type of stuff that
- 7:40happens, y'all, I promise you. This is the mentality that so
- 7:44many people face like like Lee, have you ever done that before?
- 7:48Like I, I, I don't do like I don't do the discard for new
- 7:55supply. I just this is not my style,
- 7:57right? I will disconnect from people,
- 8:00but because I'm so self aware right now, I don't do the
- 8:03discard from narcissist for somebody else.
- 8:05I wouldn't do that because I understand how my mind works.
- 8:08And me being me being able to understand how my mind works has
- 8:12inspired me to just go harder in my own relationship dynamics, in
- 8:16my own relationship spaces. It really has been, you know, I
- 8:20feel like narcissistic people will tear you down, will
- 8:24literally tear you down in order to make themselves feel better,
- 8:28in order to make them when they separate for you, to make you to
- 8:30make themselves feel better, to separate themselves and whatnot.
- 8:34I do want y'all to win y'all. I really, really want y'all to
- 8:36win. That's what I was just telling
- 8:37you. I know it sounds like, Lee,
- 8:39you're trying to get us to be selfish like you.
- 8:41No, I want y'all to be. I want y'all to heal.
- 8:42I want y'all to grow. I want y'all to focus on your
- 8:44own healing. Like you worried about them
- 8:47being happy with the new supply or be after the discard doesn't
- 8:51help you heal because you're going to be super focused on
- 8:54them and you'll be blaming yourself.
- 8:57You know, how do you how do you heal by blaming yourself in this
- 9:01regard right here, quickly now, how do you heal, blah, blah by
- 9:08blaming yourself, right? How do you heal by blaming
- 9:12yourself? You can't, you know, I ain't
- 9:14going to say you can't. It's extremely difficult to heal
- 9:18when you're blaming yourself for things that are outside of your
- 9:21control. You can't control whether or not
- 9:22they're going to be happy. You can't control the, the, the,
- 9:25the, the, the amount of narcissistic supply that you get
- 9:31that that person is getting it. Really.
- 9:34You really can't. You know what I mean?
- 9:35So I just tell people I say that to say this, y'all focus on your
- 9:38healing. Don't focus on their happiness
- 9:40because you sacrifice. You probably sacrificed a lot
- 9:43for their happiness when you're in, when you were in the
- 9:45relationship with them. You probably sacrificed a lot of
- 9:48things to make yourself happy when you were trying to get out
- 9:50of the relationship, even if you left there because sometimes
- 9:53you're the one that does the discard, right?
- 9:54Sometimes you are the one that breaks up with them.
- 9:57Sometimes you're the one that does the narcissist.
- 10:00I was going to say the narcissistic discard.
- 10:02You're the one that breaks up with them and lets them go.
- 10:05And you like says if you did that, then you definitely got to
- 10:08focus on your healing. Well, Lee, are they happy to?
- 10:10I broke up with them because I know sometimes y'all be breaking
- 10:13up with them because you want them to change, right?
- 10:14You'll be breaking up with them. Hopefully me breaking up with
- 10:16them will make them change. No, they ain't how it work out
- 10:18now. What a narcissist.
- 10:19Hell no. Most of the times right here in
- 10:21these spaces, this is the type of stuff that happens.
- 10:25Like focus on your healing, focus on your growth, focus on
- 10:28your power. Because I want y'all to win more
- 10:31than I want y'all to win more than anybody.
- 10:33Like damn, they're more than y'all want yourselves to win you
- 10:35mean anyways, y'all let me hop off this thing.
- 10:38I got to do a live on Facebook real quick.
- 10:40Facebook and YouTube. If you don't follow me over
- 10:42there follow me on Facebook as well.
- 10:44Make sure you like and subscribe to this channel and as always
- 10:46y'all as always mention this is out peace.
- 10:51Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
- 10:53I'm extremely grateful for you have no idea.
- 10:55If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
- 10:57to the channel helps reach more people and click on the screen
- 11:00to watch another video or to browse to another playlist.
- 11:02There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
- 11:05and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
- 11:07you've been through. Thank you so much again.
- 11:09I will see you in the next video.
- 11:10Peace.