Latest / Cosmic Peach / Ex-Transgender Woman Exposes Child Sexual Torture & Gender Dysphoria

Transcript

Ex-Transgender Woman Exposes Child Sexual Torture & Gender Dysphoria · Cosmic Peach

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Baby, I'm a gang statue. It takes a little tangle.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: You don't mess with me. Mess with me, baby, I'm
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: my gang statue. Pouch.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Baby, you're a game statue.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: For good warning.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: So this podcast is designed to take you outside of
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: your comfort zone and make you question reality. Listening discretion
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: is a vibe.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: Tukwardly fellas.
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: This ain't my first time at the rodeo.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome back to the show. Thanks for being here,
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: thanks for being born, Thank you for being listeners and
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: supporters of that. Kathemic Be and pacat so got some
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: shout outs for us today, got an interesting topic for
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: us today. No current event clips, but we will do
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: a little apothecary corner to make up for it, and
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: I do have a tiny announcement and then we'll get
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: to the topic of the hour again. Thanks for being here,
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: you know where you are, you know what it is,
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: and you're in for a be holicious, taint delicious topic today.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: So first on the AGENTA, let's do a couple shout
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: outs here. I first want to see a lot of
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: these shout outs are talking about the topic from the
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: last episode of The Pink Drink. I asked you if
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: anybody knew what the fuck was going on with the
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: pink drink. If you've tasted it, you've had it, you
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: know about it, and you responded, thank you. I appreciate that.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: So the first one is Kale will kale with I'll
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: just spell it ka l e wilk kale wilk kel. Anyways,
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: says I was born in nineteen eighty nine, so went
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: through elementary school in the early mid nineties, very small
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: town in eastern North Carolina. I remember being in kindergarten
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: slash first grade and then giving us the pink drink
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: midday before naptime. I think the most important thing I
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: wanted to share with you is I distinctly remember that
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: the drink would give me a really bad headache every time,
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: and I hated it, but the teachers forced us, so
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: after complaining about it daily to my mom, she finally
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: wrote a note to the school telling them I was
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: no longer allowed to drink it. Fast forward. I have
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: a normalish life, but I am officially diagnosed Aspergers, so
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: that's fun lol. I have two kids of my own,
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: a career along running, marriage to my best friend, dogs,
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: and yes, two cats. Keep doing you. I have been
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: listening to you from the beginning and continue to listen
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: to you. I listening to the goal a long time ago. Well,
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: thank you, God, bless you. Thank you for your comment.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: A lot of you are the true gangsters out there
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: listening from the very beginning. I can tell you how
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: much that means to me. Thank you again. So she
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: went to elementary school in the early mid nineties and
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: she's remembering the pink drink gave her really bad headache.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: And now she's asked burgers, well, not gonna say it's related,
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: But I'm not gonna not say it's related. A lot
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: of autism. Lot of the burgers coming out of the
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: nineties kids prove me wrong. And the nineties kids kids,
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: the nineties kids and the nineties kids kids all got
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: the tism. And where did it come from? Was it
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: the pink drink? Was it over vaccination? Maybe a little
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: bit of both. But we all got the tism and
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: fertility issues. The tism and fertility issues. But I got
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: a really special shout out on this next one. It's
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: coming from A B. That's all I got. AB no
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: other name listed, left handed cat lover over here. Hey,
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: I'm at work at the moment, but I'm going to
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: send you a video. I take a fin it's dear
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: cat hate, but that's okay. I still like you. Well,
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: I'm still waiting for the video, and I have finally
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: found my left handed cat lover to claim their thirty
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: days of Patreon for free. Just waiting to get that video.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: Thank you for reaching out, But I still maintain my
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: original position. Seeing as there's only one person who responded
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: out of the thousand set listen to this show, I
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: would assume all the other left handed cat lovers are
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: too busy leaving funky ass degenerate ass one star reviews
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: to respond to the inquiry. Next one is from Jennifer. Jennifer,
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: I was in the Gate program in the nineteen seventies.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: I have no memory of anything that happened once I
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: walked through the classroom door. Very interesting. Next one, Arnie.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: He says, yes, elementary school in the seventies, they had
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: the pink drink. Next up, we got Megan. I'm from
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: Canada and don't recall any pink drink situation for my
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: elementary days. I'm right with you when it comes to
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: disassociating from this shit whole reality. I'm finding it very
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: difficult to connect with fellow humans these days, saying here,
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: love your show, Julia cassing extra tease and all keep
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: up the amazing work girl. Thank you, Megan, God bless you.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: Love you so much. See Trinity is next step. Trinity says,
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: can we please bring back breakdown shakedowns? Well, I'm considering it.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: I just need to find I'm not able to really
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: work with anyone else right now while I have the
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: baby on this nap schedule because I have to take breaks,
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: he wakes up, I have to pause, we do bottles,
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: We do a lot while I'm recording. Actually you just
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: don't see it because I'm edited it all out. So
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: if I were to bring back the breakdown shakedowns, I
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: would have to do it alone, and that's softly time
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: consuming for one person. But I'm not ruling it out.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: We'll see what the future has in store, because I
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: do enjoy doing those. Maybe I'll just for you, Trinity,
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: the next Throwback Thursday is going to be a breakdown
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: shakedown of my choosing. Also, Dennis remembers the pink drink
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: and he went to a private Lutheran school. He's fifty
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: seven years old and he doesn't remember it being called gate,
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: but he's sure it was the same thing. A lot
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: of you guys are remembering this pink drink. Now this
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: next shout out, it's going to Alex and Alex. I
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: can't tell you how hard I laughed when I read
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: this comment. Alex says, getting rid of the cosmic peach
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: and not Jacob and Raven is wild. I he laughed
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: so hard I had tears in my eyes, because you know,
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: I don't like to just be straight up rude, but
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: since Alex opened up Pandora's box, I just have to say,
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: why would you get rid of a motherfucker that knows
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: what they're doing, who is a seasoned veteran with a
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: great show, to replace them with a bunch of newbies
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: who don't know what the fuck they're doing and is
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: most likely a flash in the pan. As most new
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: conspiracy theory podcasters are. They do it for three months,
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: they're real committed to the cause, and then they start
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: slacking off. They don't have consistency, and they really honestly
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: don't know what they're doing at all. So let's take
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: someone who has a what I would consider to be
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: a decent product knows what they're doing, has been doing
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: it for me many many years. Let's take them off.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: Let's bring in a bunch of new people that still
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: have their head up their ass. Listen, there's something about earning.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: I had already been podcasting for several years before I
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: was invited to do the Saturday show on the Cult
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: of Conspiracy. I had earned my stripes before I was
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: ever even considered to be featured on the show. They've
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: had some creative, let's just say, creative changes to their show.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: They've cut some people loose, brought some new people on.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: The show's taken an interesting direction, and now they're taking
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: off people who know what they're doing to replace them
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: with infant podcasters who barely have their microphone set up
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: to start. You know, I just Alex, and you look
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: like you're pretty hot from your profile picture. If I'm
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: just gonna be honest, thank you. I love you. I'm
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: so glad you get where I'm coming from. But I
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: do have a small announcement that's going to go along
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: with that. But let me read one more comment for
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: I do that. Last, but not least is Lri. She says,
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: as far as I'm concerned, you are the one and
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: only conspiracy Theory podcast. Thank you, Lord God bless you.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: I really appreciate that. I want to give you a
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: decent product, something to look forward to, and I hope
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: I'm able to deliver on that promise. Now the little
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: announcement here she comes. When God closes one door, sometimes
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: he happens to open up a window, and in this case,
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: this is the window. Now that I don't have to
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: prepare and schedule and make arrangements to have shows posted
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: every Saturday for the Cult of Conspiracy. See, it's freed
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: up a little bit of time for me, and I'm
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: going to be bringing you a brand new episode every Monday.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: That's right, one more episode every week coming out on Mondays.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: And it's not just any random episode. It's got a
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: little theme too. It's gonna be members only Murder Monday.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: Now you on the free feed, Yes, you're gonna get
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: a preview every Monday of the topic where you will
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: be discussing in Room two three seven. You'll get about
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: ten to twenty minutes of a preview of the full
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: show every Monday. That's members only Murder Monday. For those
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: guests of Room two three seven, it's going to be
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: exclusively yours. That's right, baby, Every Monday, we're going to
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: be talking murder, Maniacs and Mayhem and a member's only
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: Monday Patreon exclusive episode. Just my way of giving my
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: time back to the people who actually deserve it and
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: appreciate it. So thank you so much for hanging in
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: with me, and I hope you will enjoy this. I'm
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: debating whether or not it's going to be an audio
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: only even for the members of Room two three seven,
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: because this extra time that I have is probably going
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: to be really early in the morning. I might have
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: not even brushed my teeth or put regular human clothes
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: on yet. But we'll see if I can get my
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: shit together in time to throw on some shorts, brush
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: my teeth through a little makeup. It might be audio
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: and video, but regardless, you're going to be getting an
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: extra episode every Monday, my way of saying thank you
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: for your support and giving my time to the people
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: who deserve it. So how about a little apothecary corner?
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: All right, This one's gonna go out to those that
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: have a crusty, crunchy taint and a scalp to go
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: along with it, and you know who you are, you
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: head and shoulders. Motherfuckers out there, head and shoulders by
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: the way, Well we'll talk about it. This is going
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: to be a nettle and horse's tail rints for your
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: hair and scalp, A mineral rich herbal rinse to promote stronger,
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: shinier and more resilient hair. This infusion supports scalp health
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: and helps reduce breakage, making it ideal for fragile or
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: thening hair. Here's the ingredients. One table spoon dried nettle leaf,
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: one tail aplespoon dried horse's tail, one teeth spoon dried rosemary,
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: two cups water, one caplespoon apple cider vinegar. So you're
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: gonna bring the water to a boil and pour your
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: concoction of herbs into the boiling water, and then you're
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: going to cover and steep for thirty to forty five minutes,
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: then strain, add apple cider vinegar, and then use as
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: a final rinse after shampooing and conditioning, but do not
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: rinse out. Use this one to two times weekly to
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: support your hair growth, shine, and overall scalp helth. Let
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: me tell you something about the head and shoulders. Why
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: would a company who is making all of their profit
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: off of the fact that you got fucking flakes on
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: your taint and scalp, going to offer you something that
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: cures it with one bottle of the head and Shoulders
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: to where you never need to use the head and
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: shoulders ever, riggain. Does that make sense to you, all
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: you flakers out there, Does it make sense to you?
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: I don't think so. Just like carmacs and blissed decks
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: and chapstick, they don't really want you to have soft, luscious,
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: glowing lips, No they don't. That's why when you use
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: it for a long time and you stop using it,
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: and your lips get all cracked and crusty and you
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: look like hills have eyes, and you're like, damn, let
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: me go back to the store and get me another CarMax.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: Well that's the problem, babe. The cure is the disease.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: You want to moisturize something. You want to get cured
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: of this element. You stop using products that are aimed
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: to specifically treat that. You got flakes on your taint,
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: you got crust on your scalp. You don't go for
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: the head and shoulder, No, no, no, no, noon new
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: anything moisturizing. There's a product called shame oisture you want
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: to get. It's really really good. I like shame moisture.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: So you want to go for the products that are
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: more for ethnic hair. Something that has coconut oil and
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: joa and shay and argone oil. These things will actually
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: moisturize the scalp and get them fucking flakes off, not
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: the head and shoulder. No, you don't want something medicated
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: like that. No, you don't, same thing with your lips.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: You got crusty lips. Don't go for the chapstick. Get
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: you a little coconut olive oil, argne oil. Rose oil
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: is really good for the lips. Cold pressed rose hip
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: oil on the lips. You'll never forget it. They'll be glowing,
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: luscious and plump. No crust, No scabs, those weird swords
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: in the corner of your mouth. No no, no, no, no.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: That comes from using too much CarMax chapstick and then oops,
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: I forgot to apply it today. Now I got the
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: crust coming back. That's the point. They're trying to make
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: money off of you by causing it to get worse.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: And some of you out there may have gotten this advice.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: I know, I personally got this advice, and it's bad advice.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: I had a really horrible haircut one time, and I
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: have a thyroid condition that causes my hair to grow
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: really slowly, and I was asking, does anybody know of
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: a product or vitamin something I could take that would
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: speed up my hair growth because this haircut is horrible,
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: And they all said the same thing. You need to
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: take a by It's in supplement, which is fine. You
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: can take a Biot's in supplement. You can even take
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: a prenatal Don't worry about them saying it doubles your
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: iron or whatever. You need a lot of iron, you'll
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: be good. But the worst advice I got was use
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: mane and tail horses shampoo. The idea of this, I
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: think is people got confused with the supplement horse's tail.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: Horse's tail. You can, I think you can apply it topically,
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: but also take it and ingest it like in capsule form,
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: and it is really good for your hair and your skin,
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: but not fucking horses shampoo. Horse's tail supplement doesn't contain
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: any actual horse. Okay, they're confusing it. Horse's tail has
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: nothing to do with actual horse. So using the horse's
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: shampoo that's a dollar at the dollar store. Mane and
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: Tail Hunty. It's called horse's tail because of how the
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: herb looks all right, just like a crab apple. Has
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: nothing to do with crustaceans in the sea. It's just
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: the name. They didn't mean go out and shampoo yourself
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: with horses shampoo. Well, they say it's really good. No,
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: you don't need to be using dollar store horses shampoo
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: horse's tail. Okay, I get that. Not don't go to
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: the pet store. But that's enough of that. Don't put
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: horses shampoo on your crotch, don't put it on your scalp,
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: don't bring it into the house. Just go get some
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: horse's tail supplement on Amazon. You can break open the capsules,
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: make a little apothecary cornter concoction for yourself. But don't
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: go to the veterinarian and ask how they can help
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: with your hair growth. That's not what we're doing here anyways.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: That is today's apothecary cornter. So moving on, moving on,
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: moving right along to the topic of the hour. I
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: found another I just kind of binge watched these things
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: when I have a little bit of extra time and
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: I'm still going through a phase where I'm watching a
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: lot of this soft white underbelly. Some of the stories
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: are just like I said, people who like to fuck
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: their cousins for fun, have tats all over their face
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: and used to do drugs, and they tell about living
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: on the streets. And that doesn't really interest me that much.
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: But when I come across these random ones and the titles,
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: the title itself draws you in, and then the poor
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: fella getting interviewed is just, Oh, it's stomach turning. Oh
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: my goodness, you guys aren't gonna believe this one. The
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: poor little guy's name is Jake. He looks disturbed, he
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: sounds disturbed. I gotta break in a couple of times.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: I'm not even gonna play the whole thing, because here's
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: what happens. He repeats himself a lot through the entire interview,
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: but towards the end it just gets monotonous. He just
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: keeps saying the same thing over and over again. So
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: we're not gonna watch the whole thing but a couple minutes.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: But this story is nuts. It's fucking nuts. Probably one
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: of the worst I've heard. And I don't know if
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: you know I could try to fucking track the guy
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: down and maybe get him on the show to get
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: more Claire or something. His dad was probably military, if
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: I were to assume, probably involved in a group or
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: a network of some kind. But this one's really gonna
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: get you going. It's it's pretty horrendous. So I'm gonna
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: go ahead and get the video queued up here. All right,
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: So I got it brought up. We're ready to go.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: The title of this and it's coming from Soft White Underbelly.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: They have seven million subscribers. That's so crazy, it says
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: X transgender woman interview Jake. Oh my lord in Heaven,
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: just wait till you hear this stuff. Like I said,
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: he repeats himself a little bit, but uh, I think
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: you know he's lost some of his mind. When you've
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: been through the things he's been through, I wouldn't be
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: surprised if you lost a little bit of your mind.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: But without further ado, let's go ahead and get into it.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: I'm obviously going to break in here and there, but
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: let's hear from Jake the ex transgender woman red alone one.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: All right, Jake, Jake, where'd you grow up? Where are
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: you from?
• 23:23
  Speaker 5: O'ginally from a suburb of Chicago, Northwest Suburbs, from a
• 23:29
  Speaker 5: town called Wakanda.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: So tell me about your family growing up. You had
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: mom and dad.
• 23:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I had a mom and dad. Growing up, I
• 23:38
  Speaker 5: thought everything was normal, that was kind of going on.
• 23:43
  Speaker 5: I realized when I was like thirteen fifteen that everything
• 23:46
  Speaker 5: I had been experiencing when I was young was anything
• 23:49
  Speaker 5: but normal. Well, I grew up. My dad was an
• 23:53
  Speaker 5: angry guy. He was pretty secretive. He actually had a
• 23:58
  Speaker 5: fake LLC for insurance sales. But our house was custom
• 24:05
  Speaker 5: made and the cross space was actually converted into grow rooms.
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: And this was the nineties for weed, so weed was
• 24:11
  Speaker 5: still pretty illegal, and so that's kind of what he
• 24:17
  Speaker 5: did under the table for I kind of find that
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: out till I was about fifteen or so. And my
• 24:22
  Speaker 5: dad was also a pedophile growing up. He he's a sayist,
• 24:27
  Speaker 5: he's you know, he likes children, and you know, I
• 24:33
  Speaker 5: saw I saw the bad under that he was convicted. No,
• 24:40
  Speaker 5: not that I know of. My dad's not convicted. My
• 24:43
  Speaker 5: dad got away. He's he's still out there. I confronted
• 24:47
  Speaker 5: him about all this about a few years ago.
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: And.
• 24:54
  Speaker 5: He he admitted to it all overcame. I actually he
• 24:57
  Speaker 5: leaned in the camera. He kind of didn't confus firm
• 25:00
  Speaker 5: nor deny it first. And I know a little bit
• 25:02
  Speaker 5: about how these people work. So I had my phone
• 25:04
  Speaker 5: rolling and I kept on pushing my accusations at him,
• 25:08
  Speaker 5: calling him a pedophile, and eventually he leaned the camera
• 25:11
  Speaker 5: and he said, and so what get over it? He said,
• 25:14
  Speaker 5: I did, and he doesn't care. And that's that. I
• 25:19
  Speaker 5: gave it to the authorities, and they launched an investigation.
• 25:22
  Speaker 5: But I guess the authorities, Uh, we know how that goes,
• 25:26
  Speaker 5: you know. So, so your childhood.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: Went in what direction?
• 25:33
  Speaker 5: My childhood was? You know, it was good and it
• 25:36
  Speaker 5: was good and bad. I hear of some people's childhoods.
• 25:39
  Speaker 5: They didn't have food on the table, you know, constant
• 25:43
  Speaker 5: beatings and neglect. That wasn't really my childhood. My mother
• 25:47
  Speaker 5: was around somewhat, my dad was around somewhat. And in
• 25:51
  Speaker 5: the in the day, in the light, you know what
• 25:54
  Speaker 5: people saw. I was a well taken care of kid,
• 25:57
  Speaker 5: and I'm thankful for that. I never went home, you know,
• 26:01
  Speaker 5: I wasn't beat for no reason. But in the dark,
• 26:06
  Speaker 5: my dad was getting hold of me and doing some
• 26:09
  Speaker 5: really really just pure evil. I don't have any words
• 26:13
  Speaker 5: for it other than this was pure evil. This was
• 26:17
  Speaker 5: this was even past pedophilia and having sex with the child.
• 26:21
  Speaker 5: This was this was sexual child torture, dilating me, making
• 26:28
  Speaker 5: fun of me, having sex with me. My dad had
• 26:32
  Speaker 5: a friend too, who they would take me off to
• 26:37
  Speaker 5: I think hotel rooms or maybe it was the guy's house,
• 26:40
  Speaker 5: and this stripped me down, beat me, humiliate me, pinch me,
• 26:46
  Speaker 5: and penetrate me. And and yeah, my mom eventually, obviously,
• 26:54
  Speaker 5: my mom eventually found out. I had repressed a lot
• 26:57
  Speaker 5: of these memories till I was in my teen years
• 26:59
  Speaker 5: and what opened them back up for me. I remember
• 27:03
  Speaker 5: growing up, I always had such a hard time going
• 27:05
  Speaker 5: to the bathroom. It hurt really bad going to the bathroom.
• 27:09
  Speaker 5: And my mom found out about this, and she hated
• 27:12
  Speaker 5: my dad. We all kind of hated my dad, but
• 27:16
  Speaker 5: we had to live with him. So yeah, the abuse
• 27:22
  Speaker 5: kind of stopped around the age of eight or nine
• 27:24
  Speaker 5: from my recollection, and I think my mom had threatened
• 27:29
  Speaker 5: to call the police on what he was doing, and
• 27:34
  Speaker 5: that put an end to it from there. But it
• 27:36
  Speaker 5: started as as far back as my memories go, I
• 27:41
  Speaker 5: remember he was doing wrong things. I would assume from infancy,
• 27:47
  Speaker 5: But I have a two year old in my life.
• 27:50
  Speaker 5: He's almost three, and I know what was going on
• 27:54
  Speaker 5: when I was two or three. I remember quite a
• 27:56
  Speaker 5: bit from being a kid, So so it went on
• 28:01
  Speaker 5: for quite some time.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: I hate to interrupt this early into the damn thing,
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: but can you imagine being the mother of this little boy. Well,
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: my mom she found out, and well she hated him,
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: and I think she threatened to call the police on him.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: But that's it. She just hated him and threatened to
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: call the police on him. Do you know what I
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: would do if I were to find out I had
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: been laying in a bed, sharing a bed with a
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: man who was doing this to my son, there would
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: be no Well, she hated him, and she threatened to
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: call the police. They just find him dead one day.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: They'd find him like the fucking black Dahlia, carved up
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: into pieces, dick slashed off nuts, excised eyeballs, gouged out teeth,
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: yanked out fingernails, yanked off nipples, sliced perfectly dissected into
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: twenty seven pieces, scattered in a field somewhere with cowshit.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: There would be no And what she stayed with it. Well,
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: she hated him, and she threatened to call the cops
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: on her, but she growled in the bed with him.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: Every knew it. Oh no, Aunty. They'd find his body somewhere,
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: hacked to bits and pieces in a fucking field where
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: the cows graze, just shitting all over, just big cowpies
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: all over the pieces. And they'd say, we found a
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: man chopped up like the black Dahlia in the middle
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: of a cow field, with couterards all over him, and
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: we don't know who did this or how we got there.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: They'd come knock on my door. Do you know what
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: could have happened to your husband? You know what happened
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: is man, I have no idea. Ah, he's dead. Oh
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: my goodness, better call the funeral home. Will have a
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: closed casket for him. I hate to quote the Dixie Chicks,
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: but Earle had to die and good bye. Well that's
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: how it would be over here. But poor Jake had
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: no one to protect him. No, no, he had no
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: one to protect him. And this I absolutely putrefies my
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: stomach that kids have to go through this. Anyways, let's
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: get back to his story.
• 30:59
  Speaker 5: I can even remember, not visual recordings, but they would
• 31:03
  Speaker 5: take audio recordings of me getting raped and just screaming,
• 31:07
  Speaker 5: bloody murder man, and these audio recordings. And I had
• 31:12
  Speaker 5: actually bit one of these pedophiles on the side of
• 31:14
  Speaker 5: the face while I was getting molested once, and I
• 31:17
  Speaker 5: think my punishment for that is my dad took one
• 31:20
  Speaker 5: of these audio recordings of me getting raped and he
• 31:24
  Speaker 5: sat me down and he had me listen to them.
• 31:26
  Speaker 5: When I was just four or five years old, and
• 31:30
  Speaker 5: you know, I grew up hunting and stuff. It sounded
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: like someone was killing a rabbit over this audio recording,
• 31:36
  Speaker 5: just gurgling, screaming, and I remember my dad looking at
• 31:41
  Speaker 5: me and laughing, and I brought him the recording and
• 31:44
  Speaker 5: I said it on his desk. You know, I was
• 31:46
  Speaker 5: just a scared kid. I don't know what was going on.
• 31:48
  Speaker 5: He looked at me and he kind of laughed, and
• 31:50
  Speaker 5: he says, you don't like listening to that, do you.
• 31:56
  Speaker 5: I like to play with those those voice recording tapes.
• 31:59
  Speaker 5: I know, if I talked into it, I could play
• 32:02
  Speaker 5: it back, but it was an old school visual recording things,
• 32:05
  Speaker 5: so you could play it in reverse too, and it
• 32:06
  Speaker 5: would kind of sound like weird, sort of demonic things,
• 32:10
  Speaker 5: you know. So my dad had given me these audio
• 32:12
  Speaker 5: recordings of me getting raped by growing men, and the
• 32:17
  Speaker 5: first time I listened to it, my little kid brain,
• 32:19
  Speaker 5: I guess I was an intelligent kid. I said, well,
• 32:21
  Speaker 5: it must be in reverse because it just sounds like gurgling,
• 32:25
  Speaker 5: and I would play it both ways and it still
• 32:27
  Speaker 5: kind of sounded the same. That's some of the harshest
• 32:32
  Speaker 5: memories that I have, and I don't have any understanding.
• 32:36
  Speaker 5: I guess sadism. He was a sadist. He liked hurting people,
• 32:40
  Speaker 5: and he liked watching watching all that. So you had siblings, Yeah,
• 32:44
  Speaker 5: I had an older sister. Yeah, from my memories, I
• 32:51
  Speaker 5: know she didn't have there's some things happening to her too.
• 32:56
  Speaker 5: But I also remember my dad explaining to me that
• 32:59
  Speaker 5: my mom was lot more protective of my sister than
• 33:02
  Speaker 5: she was of me. So I guess I'm not sure.
• 33:06
  Speaker 5: You know, I know a lot of bad stuff happened
• 33:08
  Speaker 5: to me. But I actually haven't been in contact with
• 33:11
  Speaker 5: my older sister since since about the age of twelve eleven.
• 33:16
  Speaker 5: I've only spoken a handful of words to her since then.
• 33:19
  Speaker 5: So the abuse stopped when I was around, Like you know,
• 33:23
  Speaker 5: nine or ten, and I noticed real quickly that both
• 33:27
  Speaker 5: my parents were being exceptionally nice to me whatever I wanted,
• 33:32
  Speaker 5: whenever I wanted. And I wasn't stupid. I knew what
• 33:35
  Speaker 5: was going on. They were getting ready to have a divorce,
• 33:37
  Speaker 5: and both parties wanted custody of me. The divorce happened
• 33:43
  Speaker 5: when I was twelve, and I actually choose to go
• 33:47
  Speaker 5: with my dad. My mom was a really angry woman.
• 33:50
  Speaker 5: She screamed a lot, she hit sometimes, and you know,
• 33:56
  Speaker 5: my sister went with my mom. I choose to I
• 33:59
  Speaker 5: chose to go with my dad simply because he was
• 34:01
  Speaker 5: nicer to me, and I had forgotten some of the
• 34:05
  Speaker 5: harsher abuse. I remembered having to sleep with him and stuff,
• 34:09
  Speaker 5: but I didn't remember a lot of the sayest style
• 34:13
  Speaker 5: behavior that came back when I was older and I
• 34:16
  Speaker 5: started having sex with people, And like I said earlier,
• 34:21
  Speaker 5: you know, it came back through me remembering my childhood
• 34:24
  Speaker 5: and just it hurt so bad to go to the bathroom,
• 34:27
  Speaker 5: and you know, I thought that was normal. I talked
• 34:31
  Speaker 5: with other people. I talked with some of my girlfriends
• 34:34
  Speaker 5: when I was seventeen eighteen growing up, and as far
• 34:38
  Speaker 5: as what my childhood was like with my dad, and
• 34:40
  Speaker 5: they told me that's not normal, and it just led
• 34:45
  Speaker 5: to a lot of you know, investigating my childhood and
• 34:48
  Speaker 5: these memories slowly came back. So by that time I
• 34:53
  Speaker 5: had already found out what drugs were. I grew up
• 34:57
  Speaker 5: playing basketball, so I kept it pretty straight until about
• 35:00
  Speaker 5: the age of sixteen. You know, I put my frustrations
• 35:04
  Speaker 5: into basketball. And I was really really good at basketball.
• 35:08
  Speaker 5: I mean I wasn't a very articulate high IQ player.
• 35:13
  Speaker 5: I was more the Dennis Rodman kind of Kevin Garnett.
• 35:17
  Speaker 5: I was a mean basketball player, and yeah, I could
• 35:22
  Speaker 5: dunk the ball at a young age. I'd get a
• 35:24
  Speaker 5: lot of rebounds. And I continued playing through high school.
• 35:29
  Speaker 5: But I had already started using drugs at that point,
• 35:32
  Speaker 5: and they started to take their toll on me. So, yeah,
• 35:37
  Speaker 5: I had met a best friend when I was about
• 35:39
  Speaker 5: fourteen or fifteen, and I already hated my dad at
• 35:42
  Speaker 5: that point, so and I think he knew I hated him.
• 35:49
  Speaker 5: I didn't even stay in my own house at that point.
• 35:51
  Speaker 5: I stayed at their house for most of the time.
• 35:54
  Speaker 5: My basketball uniforms were there, my school clothes were there. Yeah,
• 35:59
  Speaker 5: I called this my friend's mom mom. You know, she
• 36:02
  Speaker 5: wasn't my mom, but she called me her son. So
• 36:05
  Speaker 5: I kind of, you know, stayed with that family for
• 36:11
  Speaker 5: for most of my upbringing. I went real, real downhill
• 36:14
  Speaker 5: with drugs. After graduating high school, I started shooting heroin,
• 36:18
  Speaker 5: I started smoking crack. I learned the layout of Chicago.
• 36:22
  Speaker 5: I'm not familiar with the South side of Chicago. I'm
• 36:24
  Speaker 5: familiar with the West side of Chicago, Garfield Park, Austin Cicero,
• 36:31
  Speaker 5: and just learning street life. You know, I was never
• 36:34
  Speaker 5: an addict that went sick. I always kind of, I
• 36:38
  Speaker 5: don't want to say, you know, an intelligent addict, but
• 36:41
  Speaker 5: they are out there, you know. You know, we look
• 36:46
  Speaker 5: at addicts and we think these people are, you know, stupid,
• 36:50
  Speaker 5: and a lot of them are. But for some of
• 36:52
  Speaker 5: these old drug addicts, people that have been in the
• 36:54
  Speaker 5: game for ten to fifteen years, the amount of IQ
• 36:57
  Speaker 5: they need to sustain their habit to to not die,
• 37:03
  Speaker 5: to live the street life, they're actually smarter than in
• 37:05
  Speaker 5: my opinion, they're smarter than a lot of you know,
• 37:08
  Speaker 5: working class people. It's just you know, their habits and
• 37:11
  Speaker 5: who they are, they choose to use that intelligence in
• 37:14
  Speaker 5: all the wrong way, and that was me in my
• 37:16
  Speaker 5: early twenties. I sold a lot of things allegedly, and
• 37:25
  Speaker 5: I use a lot of drugs. I stopped using drugs
• 37:31
  Speaker 5: when I was about twenty six years old. I'm twenty
• 37:33
  Speaker 5: nine now, So it's just the negative started to outweigh
• 37:37
  Speaker 5: the positives. I knew quite a few homeless people. I
• 37:41
  Speaker 5: had friends that started to go to prison for different things.
• 37:45
  Speaker 5: The first time I got clean, I relapsed. Golly, I
• 37:49
  Speaker 5: mean I tried to get clean it seems, you know,
• 37:51
  Speaker 5: fifty sixty seventy times, and every time I relapsed, but
• 37:54
  Speaker 5: I kept on trying, and I got back into working out.
• 37:57
  Speaker 5: I got back into playing pickup basketball, and at this point,
• 38:01
  Speaker 5: I've been sober about you know, two and a half
• 38:03
  Speaker 5: three years. I don't have an exact date. And there
• 38:08
  Speaker 5: was a relapse about a year and a half ago
• 38:10
  Speaker 5: with some hydro codone. There were from a doctor for
• 38:13
  Speaker 5: a surgery, but I didn't need them. So in relationships,
• 38:21
  Speaker 5: you yeah, yeah, relationships. You know, I had a girlfriend
• 38:28
  Speaker 5: from most of my drug addiction. I grew up with
• 38:32
  Speaker 5: a lot of gender dysphoria too. You know, I was
• 38:35
  Speaker 5: a pretty queer kid growing up until I started getting
• 38:39
  Speaker 5: made fun of it, for like the long hair and
• 38:40
  Speaker 5: the ear piercing. So I pushed that part of me away.
• 38:44
  Speaker 5: I got real tough, I started lifting weights. But the
• 38:47
  Speaker 5: gender dysphoya was always there. I came out as transgender
• 38:55
  Speaker 5: kind of in the midst of my drug addiction, and yeah,
• 39:00
  Speaker 5: I had a handful of memories back in my head
• 39:03
  Speaker 5: about my childhood. I just chose not to acknowledge them
• 39:08
  Speaker 5: or really give them any weight as to who I
• 39:10
  Speaker 5: was as a person right now sitting here, I can
• 39:15
  Speaker 5: remember there was a lot of There was a lot
• 39:19
  Speaker 5: of weird stuff going on with my dad. A lot
• 39:21
  Speaker 5: of costumes. I mean there was a puppy costume which
• 39:25
  Speaker 5: was naked with a collar. There was little girl costumes,
• 39:30
  Speaker 5: there was little boy sailor costumes that I would have
• 39:33
  Speaker 5: to wear when I was with these with these pedophiles,
• 39:38
  Speaker 5: whether it be my dad or acquaintances friends with my dad.
• 39:45
  Speaker 5: So now I kind of attribute that to my gender dysphoria.
• 39:49
  Speaker 5: I'm not I actually don't have a lot of gender
• 39:51
  Speaker 5: dysphoy you at this moment here, I'm happy being a guy,
• 39:55
  Speaker 5: and maybe I'm a little androgynist. Some people say yes,
• 39:58
  Speaker 5: some people say no, but yeah, I came out as transgender.
• 40:02
  Speaker 5: When I was twenty two or twenty three. I had
• 40:03
  Speaker 5: a boyfriend. It was a really, really nice, smart guy.
• 40:08
  Speaker 5: I can actually give him some of the credit for
• 40:12
  Speaker 5: getting me sober. I was a drug addict at the time.
• 40:14
  Speaker 5: He was sober. He's an incredibly intelligent guy. And there
• 40:19
  Speaker 5: was times where I would relapse and he would still
• 40:21
  Speaker 5: hang around with me, and yeah, even I was having
• 40:29
  Speaker 5: sex with him one night and another handful of memories
• 40:34
  Speaker 5: kind of came back, and I was pretty devastated. It
• 40:41
  Speaker 5: led to me I could no longer have sex with him.
• 40:45
  Speaker 5: Just the act of having sex with another guy as
• 40:49
  Speaker 5: a guy. It was so traumatizing for me. I remember
• 40:53
  Speaker 5: one time I had tried, because and I had been
• 40:56
  Speaker 5: sober for a few weeks, and I had tried having
• 40:59
  Speaker 5: sex with my boyfriend. And then really quickly, I mean,
• 41:04
  Speaker 5: you know, we started making out and I could I
• 41:07
  Speaker 5: started shaking, and I ran to the toilet. I threw up.
• 41:12
  Speaker 5: You know, I threw up a few times. I was shaking,
• 41:15
  Speaker 5: I was sweating, and I started to realize that, you know,
• 41:20
  Speaker 5: I'm I'm a pretty traumatized person. The drug addiction, the
• 41:24
  Speaker 5: dread or dysphoia, the transgender stuff. Thank God, I was
• 41:29
  Speaker 5: never incredibly sexually promiscuous and no STDs or anything like that,
• 41:34
  Speaker 5: so I'm really thankful for all that. But yeah, so
• 41:41
  Speaker 5: you know, I didn't do anything very quickly, but I
• 41:44
  Speaker 5: started to realize that I wasn't transgender. I have a
• 41:46
  Speaker 5: girlfriend now, I'm still friends with with my boyfriend from that.
• 41:50
  Speaker 5: He's a really smart, really intelligent guy, and he's been
• 41:54
  Speaker 5: with me from the time I was a drug addict
• 41:56
  Speaker 5: till now till I'm clean, and so, yeah, you know, relationships,
• 42:04
  Speaker 5: I've had them with men, I've had them with women,
• 42:06
  Speaker 5: and yeah, I'm really thankful that I ran into a
• 42:11
  Speaker 5: guy like that that could be that patient and stuff.
• 42:14
  Speaker 5: And so, yeah, you know, I'm still a traumatized person.
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: Do you do you do with like emotional issues like
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: depression or anger or anxiety like that.
• 42:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I have a bit of depression and anxiety. I
• 42:37
  Speaker 5: don't take any medications for it. I refuse to be
• 42:40
  Speaker 5: on any doctor's medications or anything. I don't use any
• 42:45
  Speaker 5: drugs anymore. I'm kind of a pot hot on and off.
• 42:48
  Speaker 5: I do smoke pot. I try to keep it to
• 42:51
  Speaker 5: responsible use, and I even if I'm not smoking pot.
• 42:56
  Speaker 5: I usually take edibles before sleep because my dreams are
• 43:00
  Speaker 5: pretty rough, just some of the dreams that I have
• 43:03
  Speaker 5: to relive while I'm sleeping, I'd prefer not to remember
• 43:06
  Speaker 5: them when I wake up, and weed can do that
• 43:09
  Speaker 5: for me. So yeah, I eat edibles before sleep almost
• 43:14
  Speaker 5: every night because I don't want to remember my dreams.
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: And the harder drugs that you were doing, or what what.
• 43:22
  Speaker 5: Were the harder drugs that you were using a lot
• 43:25
  Speaker 5: of a lot of opiates, man opiate based painkillers, which
• 43:29
  Speaker 5: kind of led into heroin. I started sniffing up first,
• 43:33
  Speaker 5: I learned how to shoot up. So I was shooting
• 43:36
  Speaker 5: a lot of heroin till I was about twenty two
• 43:41
  Speaker 5: or twenty three, you know. Allegedly, supposedly, some people thought
• 43:44
  Speaker 5: I sold a lot of coke. I never really had
• 43:49
  Speaker 5: a taste for coke. I had tried snorting it, I
• 43:51
  Speaker 5: had tried shooting it was just not my stuff until
• 43:54
  Speaker 5: one day I had tried smoking it free based cocaine,
• 43:57
  Speaker 5: and I actually kind of enjoyed that. And that was
• 44:01
  Speaker 5: where my drug addiction got really bad. I started smoking
• 44:04
  Speaker 5: a lot of crack with the dope. It only lasted
• 44:07
  Speaker 5: for about six months until I realized that this isn't
• 44:10
  Speaker 5: sustainable and it'll take my life.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 44:15
  Speaker 5: If it doesn't take my life, it'll take my head
• 44:18
  Speaker 5: and I'll just be left to shell of a person,
• 44:20
  Speaker 5: or I'll go to prison for one thing or another.
• 44:23
  Speaker 5: I had a few friends go to prison for drug
• 44:26
  Speaker 5: induced homicides and gun charges, and I knew I didn't
• 44:32
  Speaker 5: want that. You know, I was kind of in the
• 44:34
  Speaker 5: world alone. I had my so called adoptive family as
• 44:38
  Speaker 5: I call them. They knew I was struggling, not to
• 44:41
  Speaker 5: the extent that I'm talking about now, but yeah, getting
• 44:50
  Speaker 5: out of it wasn't easy, you know. Like I said,
• 44:53
  Speaker 5: it took me fifty sixty tries and constantly relapsing. You know,
• 45:00
  Speaker 5: it took a lot of acknowledging my trauma that I
• 45:02
  Speaker 5: went through as a kid, a lot of meditation, a
• 45:08
  Speaker 5: lot of yoga, and it hasn't been easy. Even these
• 45:11
  Speaker 5: past couple of years. I've had more memories come back
• 45:13
  Speaker 5: of what my dad was doing, and I'm still sober
• 45:18
  Speaker 5: through it now. I guess I just found healthier ways
• 45:20
  Speaker 5: to deal with it. You know. I play a lot
• 45:23
  Speaker 5: of basketball again, in different pickup leagues. I work out,
• 45:26
  Speaker 5: I read just a ton, I'm an avid reader.
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: Did you try therapy?
• 45:33
  Speaker 5: I have tried therapy. I've tried not to any real help.
• 45:38
  Speaker 5: I've tried therapists, and I had one rescheduling on me
• 45:44
  Speaker 5: a lot. I had another one who was like really
• 45:49
  Speaker 5: anti gay, anti LGBT, and I didn't really feel comfortable
• 45:56
  Speaker 5: being with her. The best therapy that I've had is
• 45:59
  Speaker 5: actually meditation and yoga. I've had a few yoga teachers
• 46:03
  Speaker 5: kind of take me under their wing and guide me
• 46:06
  Speaker 5: through some of my PTSD and my flashbacks and just breathing, stretching,
• 46:11
  Speaker 5: acknowledging that, you know, I'm a pretty messed up person,
• 46:15
  Speaker 5: and that's all right. There's a lot of messed up people.
• 46:18
  Speaker 5: I mean, there's homeless people that aren't messed up. You know,
• 46:22
  Speaker 5: there's people that are homeless that do drugs that have
• 46:24
  Speaker 5: had normal childhoods. And there's other people that are successful
• 46:27
  Speaker 5: millionaires that have, you know, had childhood similar to mine.
• 46:31
  Speaker 5: And you know, a lot of us are messed up.
• 46:35
  Speaker 5: Some of us acknowledge it, some of us don't, and
• 46:38
  Speaker 5: you know, it's all right. You know that for me,
• 46:40
  Speaker 5: that's been the best therapy is just yoga and and meditation.
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: You know, do you feel like you were once trans
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: or gay or both and now you're not or is
• 46:55
  Speaker 3: it just you're just choosing.
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: This for now?
• 47:00
  Speaker 5: Well, as far as my thoughts on that, I mean,
• 47:04
  Speaker 5: I grew up being bisexual. I you know, I've had girlfriends,
• 47:07
  Speaker 5: I've had boyfriends. At this point in life, I'm not
• 47:10
  Speaker 5: sure if I'm only interested in my girlfriend. I'm not
• 47:14
  Speaker 5: interested in other women. I'm a monogamous person. That being said,
• 47:18
  Speaker 5: I'm also not interested in other men. If my girlfriend
• 47:22
  Speaker 5: wasn't around, I still wouldn't be interested in men. I
• 47:25
  Speaker 5: would only be interested in women. And as far as
• 47:28
  Speaker 5: you know, my gender, I used to be quite a
• 47:31
  Speaker 5: bit more androgynists, quite a bit more feminine looking near
• 47:35
  Speaker 5: the end of my drug addiction, and now I'm not.
• 47:39
  Speaker 5: I mean I view gender as a spectrum. I mean,
• 47:41
  Speaker 5: you know, and it changes throughout our life, as does
• 47:44
  Speaker 5: their sexuality. So I think for most people having some
• 47:48
  Speaker 5: sense of androgynies healthy. I don't know if anybody, if
• 47:54
  Speaker 5: you just want my opinion, I don't know if anybody
• 47:57
  Speaker 5: is transgender or is not transgender. As I said, you know,
• 48:01
  Speaker 5: I think gender is a spectrum I'm not out here to,
• 48:06
  Speaker 5: you know, to hate on the transgender community or call
• 48:09
  Speaker 5: them mentally ill or anything.
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 48:13
  Speaker 5: I don't think I was pulled into the transgender community
• 48:18
  Speaker 5: and you know, brainwashed by them or anything like that.
• 48:22
  Speaker 5: I don't hold any beliefs like that. So, yeah, you know,
• 48:29
  Speaker 5: I've view gender as a spectrum. I as far as
• 48:32
  Speaker 5: me dealing with some of my issues, I think there
• 48:34
  Speaker 5: was kind of a form of mastery involved with my
• 48:37
  Speaker 5: childhood and my trauma that I went through. And I
• 48:39
  Speaker 5: had a boyfriend and I read a lot, so I
• 48:42
  Speaker 5: read that when something really really bad happens to you
• 48:45
  Speaker 5: when you're a kid, two things can happen. You'll either
• 48:49
  Speaker 5: never want to be put in that situation again, you'll
• 48:52
  Speaker 5: be a traumatized person, or as you grow up, you'll
• 48:56
  Speaker 5: try to recreate it and relive it, and you will
• 48:59
  Speaker 5: probably re traumatize yourself as a way to master what
• 49:04
  Speaker 5: had happened to you as a kid. And I see
• 49:08
  Speaker 5: this everywhere I go. I mean, I have more than
• 49:12
  Speaker 5: one friend who's a trans woman who is sectually abused
• 49:15
  Speaker 5: by her father when she was a little boy. They
• 49:21
  Speaker 5: remember it. I have another trans woman friend who her
• 49:26
  Speaker 5: mom will will swear that the dad was sexually abusing
• 49:31
  Speaker 5: her little boy who's now a woman. And you know,
• 49:39
  Speaker 5: both of those trans women have a lot of sex.
• 49:43
  Speaker 5: And I'm not even here to bash that. You know,
• 49:46
  Speaker 5: if that's what helps them live and helps them master
• 49:49
  Speaker 5: their trauma, you know, it is what it is. I
• 49:52
  Speaker 5: have no ill feelings in my heart towards anybody other
• 49:54
  Speaker 5: than say this some pedophiles.
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: You know, So okay, just to touch on a few
• 49:59
  Speaker 2: things he said, and he can live his truth. That's
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: his truth, and that's fine. But what I will say,
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: and I hate to bring him up constantly, but the
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: Menindez brothers, right Lyle and Eric, I do believe Lyle
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: is straight. And he didn't. Yeah, his dad was raping
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: on him, but he didn't get it like Eric. Okay,
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: And Eric said, I didn't know what I was. I
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: didn't know if I was gay. I thought I could
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: be gay, but I was attracted to women. But I
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: had been having sex with my dad since I was
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: six years old, so I didn't know what I was.
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: And he was a little fim. Both of them were
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: a little fim. Let me tell you something else. And
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: my brother doesn't really listen to my podcast at all.
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: So I feel comfortable saying this. And if he does
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: happen to listen to this, which he won't, he can
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: always text me. And it's nothing I wouldn't say to
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: his face. He grew up in a household with no
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: real masculine role models. His dad was a piece of shit,
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: degenerate asshole. My dad was a piece of shit, degenerate asshole.
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: And so he spent a lot of time with my
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: mom and my grandma, and my older sister and me.
• 51:14
  Speaker 2: So he's a little thin. If you saw him out somewhere,
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: you might think he has some sugar in his tank.
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: He's a little, sweet, little fin. He has what I
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: like to call a crotch bag, which is just a
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: cross body bag that hangs near the crotch with his
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: wallet and his phone, and his keys, and his chapstick
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: in any other little essentials that he might need for
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: the day in his little crotch bag. He likes to
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: grow his hair route and get highlights. He is very
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: fashioned forward, has a wonderful shoe collection, and takes care
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: of his skin, manicures his nails, not paint them, but
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: he's always very proper. He's been married twice to two
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: different women and has four children and loves women, loves women.
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: But he's a little thim Okay, there's nothing wrong, and
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: some women are attracted to this having a man who's
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: a little thim Okay. I prefer a very masculine man.
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: But if you've been through some childhood trauma shit like that,
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: or you have no male role model in your life
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: to teach you how to be, you're a product of
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: your upbringing. When you have an upbringing like this, you
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: tend to not know what the hell's going on. But
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: this stuff that he's talking about with the mastery, that
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: makes a ton of sense. That makes a ton of sense.
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: And I'm glad he figured out who he really is
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: and he didn't get caught up in some ginger dysphoria
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: that didn't belong to him. But anyways, let's continue.
• 53:06
  Speaker 5: My way of dealing with it. I guess there was
• 53:08
  Speaker 5: a form of mastery involved for a bit, until I
• 53:11
  Speaker 5: had some memories come back that were so harsh. I
• 53:16
  Speaker 5: just couldn't be with guys anymore, you know. And then
• 53:22
  Speaker 5: I had a really slow transition kind of back to
• 53:25
  Speaker 5: where I am now. I left weights, I play basketball,
• 53:28
  Speaker 5: I paint my nails. But I am a guy. I'm
• 53:32
  Speaker 5: happy being a guy. You know, I'm only interested in women,
• 53:36
  Speaker 5: and that's my way of dealing with it.
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: Are you. Are you at the happiest point in your
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: life right now?
• 53:48
  Speaker 5: The happiest I've ever been? No, No, that other family.
• 53:58
  Speaker 5: I had a brother. He passed away two years ago,
• 54:05
  Speaker 5: about a year and a half ago. H Yeah, my
• 54:23
  Speaker 5: happiest was just a second. Yeah, my happiest was with
• 54:32
  Speaker 5: my brother. So yeah, he was. He was also a
• 54:37
  Speaker 5: drug addict.
• 54:40
  Speaker 4: M hm.
• 54:42
  Speaker 5: We saw id eye pretty much on everything. I mean,
• 54:44
  Speaker 5: we were brothers. We could finish each other's sentences. He
• 54:48
  Speaker 5: was with me through like the whole transgender stuff too.
• 54:50
  Speaker 5: I remember coming out to him one day. I had
• 54:55
  Speaker 5: started being a little more androgynous, and you know, he
• 54:58
  Speaker 5: always knew. I mean, we had been friends since we were,
• 55:00
  Speaker 5: you know, thirteen, fourteen years old. I told him one
• 55:04
  Speaker 5: day that I think I'm transgender. And he was right
• 55:06
  Speaker 5: in the middle of talking about one of his favorite
• 55:09
  Speaker 5: animes and I kind of interrupted him and just blurred
• 55:13
  Speaker 5: it out, and he looked at me and he was like,
• 55:18
  Speaker 5: you know, you interrupted me. He didn't care at all.
• 55:22
  Speaker 5: He was just like, we can talk about that later,
• 55:24
  Speaker 5: but I'm talking about this anime right now. I don't
• 55:31
  Speaker 5: even think we talked about it later. You know, it
• 55:34
  Speaker 5: was just how it was.
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: He passed away from an overdose.
• 55:44
  Speaker 5: Yeah, we kind of got sober together. We each took
• 55:50
  Speaker 5: our own roads. We relapsed separately, but we'd gotten sober together.
• 55:56
  Speaker 5: The only issue was my brother was a drinker, and
• 56:01
  Speaker 5: with the drinking there was some xanax involved. If you're
• 56:04
  Speaker 5: familiar with drugs and brain chemistry, drinking and xanax they
• 56:07
  Speaker 5: hit the same receptors in the brain, So you can
• 56:09
  Speaker 5: give an alcoholic and withdraw a xanax and it'll get
• 56:12
  Speaker 5: them right. And conversely, you can give a zanex addict
• 56:15
  Speaker 5: alcohol and it'll kind of keep them right, somewhat much
• 56:19
  Speaker 5: like heroin to pain pills. And my brother had never
• 56:23
  Speaker 5: really shook that monkey of drinking in xanax. I never
• 56:29
  Speaker 5: really played around with much xanax, and I'm not a drinker.
• 56:32
  Speaker 5: I was much more of a hardcore drug addict. And
• 56:35
  Speaker 5: my brother never smoked as much crack as I had smoked,
• 56:40
  Speaker 5: but he always had that monkey on his back, and
• 56:43
  Speaker 5: he started going downhill really bad about a year before
• 56:47
  Speaker 5: he died. I mean, he had tried to quit xanax
• 56:50
  Speaker 5: cold turkey, he had the seizures. I remember getting waiting
• 56:55
  Speaker 5: for him to get out of the hospital, and he
• 56:56
  Speaker 5: came out of the hospital and he was like a
• 56:59
  Speaker 5: different person. And I mean, to anybody watching this, if
• 57:04
  Speaker 5: you're gonna play with drugs, don't ever play with xanax.
• 57:08
  Speaker 5: And I always knew that as a young drug addict.
• 57:10
  Speaker 5: You know, you can quit heroin, you can quit crack,
• 57:15
  Speaker 5: you can quit all these things, and for the most part,
• 57:17
  Speaker 5: you'll go back to being the person that you were
• 57:19
  Speaker 5: when you started using drugs. X x is xanax and math.
• 57:24
  Speaker 5: Those two things are different stories. If you get far
• 57:26
  Speaker 5: into those drugs, you can get sober, but the person
• 57:30
  Speaker 5: that you once were will, in my opinion, will be gone.
• 57:36
  Speaker 5: So my brother got out of the hospital, and yeah,
• 57:38
  Speaker 5: he he was kind of a different person. He was
• 57:42
  Speaker 5: nervous all the time. He could barely hold a conversation.
• 57:46
  Speaker 5: I tried to be there for him, but he always
• 57:48
  Speaker 5: wanted to be alone. And he had already had one
• 57:52
  Speaker 5: kidney from drinking and drugs, and I knew he was
• 57:57
  Speaker 5: fooling around. After he got out of the hospital with
• 58:00
  Speaker 5: xanax and alcohol and things, and he ended up passing
• 58:05
  Speaker 5: away from a He was real drunk one night and
• 58:09
  Speaker 5: he was playing with a can of air duster, and
• 58:12
  Speaker 5: I guess there was a chemical and air duster tetrafluorocarbon.
• 58:17
  Speaker 5: It's a very heavy molecule displaces oxygen from the lungs.
• 58:21
  Speaker 5: That's how they get their high on different inhalance. It's
• 58:25
  Speaker 5: actually not really a high. It's more so just depriving
• 58:28
  Speaker 5: the brain of oxygen. You can think of the choking
• 58:32
  Speaker 5: game that young boys play in high school, which my
• 58:36
  Speaker 5: brother did play. I never played the choking game. I
• 58:39
  Speaker 5: thought myself above such activities as a young queer kid
• 58:43
  Speaker 5: growing up. So yeah, that's how my brother passed away.
• 58:49
  Speaker 5: I actually saw him pass away. I was at a
• 58:53
  Speaker 5: neighbor's house hanging out with their kids, and I had
• 58:55
  Speaker 5: gotten a phone call from our dad, you know, his dad.
• 59:01
  Speaker 5: They were on vacation, and he said I should go
• 59:04
  Speaker 5: check up on Steve. I guess my brother had called
• 59:08
  Speaker 5: his parents in kind of a frantic state. And I
• 59:12
  Speaker 5: came back to the house and heard it sound like
• 59:17
  Speaker 5: someone trying to start a car that wouldn't start. You know.
• 59:21
  Speaker 5: I was with the neighbor at the time, and we
• 59:22
  Speaker 5: ran around the corner of the house and we saw
• 59:25
  Speaker 5: my brother there, and he had a significant amount of
• 59:29
  Speaker 5: brain damage from the oxygen deprivation. Already. I got into
• 59:35
  Speaker 5: Mma after basketball, so I kind of knew some of
• 59:38
  Speaker 5: the signs of like CPE and when people get knocked out.
• 59:40
  Speaker 5: He had some of this going on right before he
• 59:43
  Speaker 5: was dying, Right before he died. He died there once
• 59:49
  Speaker 5: and then I guess they assisted him in the ambulance
• 59:51
  Speaker 5: and he died a gun on the way to the hospital.
• 59:56
  Speaker 5: And you know, it's funny. My brother was also pretty
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 5: queer grown up, but he was straight. He always had
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 5: beautiful girlfriend, surprisingly. But we were having a conversation about
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 5: two months before he died, and he actually disclosed to
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 5: me that there are some things he's never told anybody before.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 5: And his family's Mormon. His mom was a convert into
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 5: the Mormon religion, and Mormons treat converts differently than they
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 5: do people that are born as Mormon. So my brother,
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 5: being born as Mormon, would spend a lot of time
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 5: in this church as a young boy, actually away from
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 5: his mom. And he told me he was sexually abused
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 5: by the Mormon by some of the guys in this
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 5: Mormon church and in the town where I grew up,
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 5: in the suburb of Chicago, there was actually a higher
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 5: up of a big Mormon collection of churches that's a
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 5: prison right now for molesting young boys. So I don't
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 5: like religion. You know, my dad is a Christian, My
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 5: biological dad is a Christian. He's pretty devout about it too.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 5: He's been he's wandered from his faith and he's come
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 5: back to it. He now, he says he's a born
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 5: again Christian. He speaks to churches about how hard he
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 5: had it growing up. And you know I'm the evil,
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 5: the evil, you know, cross dressing, drug addict, that's not
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 5: a Christian. Yeah, so you know that's not the case.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: What do you what are you afraid of that? What
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: are you worry about?
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 5: I'm most worried about myself.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 2: I'll never now see, it's this kind of ship right
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: here that gets people to hate in Christians. And he's like,
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 2: I don't do religion. My dad as a Christian. If
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 2: that tells you anything, well, see, here's the problem is
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 2: people blame God for human beings twisted, degenerate, dog shit
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 2: ass behavior, demonic ass behavior. You know what they call
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 2: people like his dad, It's called a wolf in sheep's clothing.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 2: He goes around and talks to churches about his cross
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: dressing tranny's drug addict son. Well, guess what. That's why
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 2: I have told you people that church as a building
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 2: is something that you can take with a grain of salt. Church,
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 2: in my opinion, your body is your church. Your body
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: is your temple. It's where God resides or does not reside.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: People get so obsessed about going to these buildings, man
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 2: made buildings things, man made establishments, with a bunch of
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 2: pedophiles and losers, comparing blouses on a Sunday bringing their
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 2: cat chicken and their mayonnase cucumber ridden pasta salad to
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 2: the church. Social Well, guess what, you don't have to
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 2: do any of that to believe in God. You don't
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: have to do any of it. And it's actually not
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 2: God's fault that Jake's degenerate, low life, disgusting, sickening, twisted, sadist,
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 2: demonic ass father who should burn in hell. It's not
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 2: God's fault. The greatest trick the devil ever played is
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: making you believe that he doesn't exist. Keep that in mind.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 2: We'll finish up a few thoughts here from the old
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 2: Jake Boy, and then we will meet back up on
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 2: the Acien and conclude today's show. So let's get back
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 2: to the story.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 5: Or go back to drugs. You know, I'll be honest,
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 5: it's hard for me to hold the job sometimes. Maybe
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 5: it's just the life that I've lived growing up, not
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 5: working often and doing other things for money that paid
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 5: a lot better than working. So right now I'm most
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 5: worried about myself as a traumatized person. You know, for
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 5: traumatized people, we can really be our own worst enemies.
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 5: I mean, we're in la right now. I mean you
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 5: could look outside and see a lot of people that
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 5: are indeed their own worst enemy. And amount a point
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 5: in life where I don't want to be that way.
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 5: I want to work with myself. I want to work
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 5: through this. I don't want a normal job. I don't
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 5: want to just be a worker be I want to
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 5: find a way to help people or do something meaningful
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 5: in the world, and that's hard to do. You know,
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 5: I've volunteered a lot of women's shelter. Women's shelters like
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 5: domestic violence homes since I've gotten sober, because sometimes I
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 5: feel like if my mom had a safe place to
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 5: go growing up, but it wouldn't have been as bad.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 5: Maybe she would have left my dad and not allowed
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 5: her kids to be in the presence of a sadistic pedophile.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 5: And she tried. I mean, I remember going to stay
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 5: with her mom, which was my grandma at the time,
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 5: and as a child, you don't understand, you know. I
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 5: actually remember saying I miss my dad, I miss my mom,
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 5: and my mom telling me, you know, she's sorry about that,
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 5: but I shouldn't be around him, and then we would
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 5: move back into the house with him, and the abuse
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 5: would continue because he knew he could get away with it.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 2: I don't know, you guys, maybe it was a case
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 2: of his mom not having anywhere to go. I don't
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 2: know how old this kid looks. He looks like he's
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 2: probably in his thirties, so back in the nineties. I'm
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 2: not even gonna say. If she could have found a job,
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 2: she could have done something to get herself financially stable
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 2: enough to get those kids out of that home. And
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 2: I have just a few words for you. Earl had
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 2: to die nine nine nine. Goodbye, Earl, what pack of
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 2: lunch nine nine stuff you in the trunk? Earl? That's
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 2: what I got to say for you, motherfucker would be decapitated, decapitato,
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 2: no way, no way, no way, no way. Death is
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 2: the only answer. And please, in Jesus' name, may God
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: send all of these mutant, degenerate ass pieces of living
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 2: dog shit to Idaho. Please, Lord, if you could just
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 2: send these disgusting, degenerate ass live scumbag piece is a
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 2: fucking shit Idaho. Death is sometimes the only answer. Just
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 2: kill yourself, Okay, just kill yourself. But anyways, hope you
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 2: were able to stomach this episode. I would say, I
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 2: hope you enjoyed it, but it's not really something to
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 2: enjoy rather than just another educational opportunity here with Jake's story,
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 2: I'm sure his dad was involved in a network full
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 2: of other scumbag, degenerant, low life pieces of dog shit
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 2: ass motherfuckers. And you know, BTK was even the deacon
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 2: of a church, BTK buying to a Jaquil Dennis Raider.
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 2: He was the deacon of a church. And we're actually
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: going to be talking about BTK and an upcoming members
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: only murder Monday, so that's a little something for you
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 2: to look forward to. Thanks for hanging with me, Thanks
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 2: for being here. Hope you got a lot out of
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 2: this story. I know I did a lot of interesting talk,
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 2: fucking points here, lots of consider But enjoy the rest
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 2: of your day. I love you. Hope you haven't gotten
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 2: bit by the old produce spring a noose parasite, but
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 2: you can always just keep them cheek squashed together until
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 2: we find out. But love you a long time. Thanks
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 2: for being here, and I will catch you on the
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 2: next one.
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 3: I had bad
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 5: Head