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Staying Married · A Time to Sharpen

• 0:09
  Is there anything worse than a dull blade?
• 0:12
  Yeah, well, lots of things, I guess.
• 0:14
  Poverty, war, getting into an argument with your wife and
• 0:19
  later realizing you were wrong the whole time and should have
• 0:22
  just kept your mouth shut. I.
• 0:24
  Thought I'd put the bedroom back over in here in front of the
• 0:26
  house so we can wake up every morning, look at that old
• 0:31
  picture we're under and watch the sun come up.
• 0:33
  Put the deck on bedroom in the front of the house dude.
• 0:35
  And the sun comes in every morning at 5:00 and shines in my
• 0:39
  eyes. You're not too ignorant to get
• 0:41
  out of the bed and walk over here and pull a set of window
• 0:43
  blinds down, are you? No, I'm not too ignorant to know
• 0:47
  that the deck on the bedroom don't belong in the front of the
• 0:49
  house with the living room or the bed.
• 0:51
  Seriously though, a doe blade is bad.
• 0:55
  It's unusable. In fact, it's downright
• 0:57
  dangerous. From Whetstone Boys Ranch in
• 1:00
  Mountain View, MO, comes a time to Sharpen, a bi weekly podcast
• 1:05
  that examines how we can all be better versions of ourselves.
• 1:08
  Better teachers, better counselors, better parents,
• 1:12
  better people. It's impossible to overestimate
• 1:21
  the importance of marriage. Sure, some marriages fail, some
• 1:25
  are toxic, and some are even deadly.
• 1:28
  Still, there is nothing that has the power to build a person, a
• 1:31
  church, a community, or a nation like healthy marriages.
• 1:35
  Thing is, they take work. Lots of hard work on both sides.
• 1:39
  A lifetime of hard work by two people growing closer to each
• 1:42
  other as they focus on growing closer to God.
• 1:46
  Join us this week on A Time to Sharpen as we discuss how to
• 1:49
  stay married. It might be the hardest thing
• 1:51
  that any of us ever have to do in our life, but that might make
• 1:54
  it the most meaningful, rewarding and impactful thing we
• 1:57
  ever do as well. Oh, it's also pretty important
• 2:01
  for our kids as well. Welcome back to A Time to
• 2:10
  Sharpen. I'm Axel Limata and I'm here
• 2:13
  with Brandon Maxwell. I'm Brandon Maxwell, and I'm
• 2:16
  here with Axel Limata. Hello, Brandon.
• 2:19
  Hey. Fellow person with an X in his
• 2:21
  name. Yeah, there you go.
• 2:23
  It's. Unusual to have X in the name.
• 2:27
  X Yeah, I guess. It's we're X-Men.
• 2:30
  The X-Men, you and I. Yeah.
• 2:34
  Well, today, Brandon, we are going to talk about marriage.
• 2:40
  You did. It's what brings us here
• 2:43
  together, together, together. Today, my favorite movie.
• 2:49
  Not, not not your favorite movie, it's not.
• 2:51
  Is it in the top? The Princess Bride, right?
• 2:54
  Yes. Yeah, yeah, Princess, Not the
• 2:56
  Princess. Bride, Yeah.
• 2:57
  Well, The Princess Bride. Yeah.
• 2:58
  Isn't that too quickly? Yeah.
• 3:00
  I, I don't like, hate the movie. I just feel like it's gotten
• 3:06
  maybe more more press than it deserves, but.
• 3:11
  Yeah, there's, we'll just have to agree to agree to disagree on
• 3:14
  that one. Yeah.
• 3:15
  It is a movie that we show here at the ranch.
• 3:17
  Yeah, regularly because it allows us to just watch a good
• 3:20
  clean movie that has a lot of fun stuff in it.
• 3:23
  And there's some some things you can pull out of it therapy wise
• 3:28
  in terms of perseverance and. It probably is the most it's up
• 3:35
  there for the most quoted movie of all time, definitely So yeah.
• 3:39
  So it's got that going for it. It's no, it's no Nacho or Dumb
• 3:45
  and Dumber, but you know, it's. It's got some again.
• 3:49
  Again, we'll have to agree to disagree.
• 3:50
  I would put it on the same level.
• 3:51
  But the reason why I said that is because we are going to talk
• 3:56
  about marriage today. And we were joking a little bit
• 3:58
  at the beginning before we hit the record button here that
• 4:02
  we're probably going to get in trouble today because we're
• 4:04
  going to we're going to talk about our marriages and.
• 4:09
  Foot and mouth. We did not we did not run all of
• 4:12
  this by our wives. So, Christine, Laura, if you
• 4:15
  guys are listening, we apologize in advance if we say anything
• 4:19
  stupid. You can, you can talk to us
• 4:22
  later, but we're gonna, you know, we've been doing this for
• 4:26
  almost 29 years for me. How many is it for you?
• 4:28
  Oh really? This is 20.
• 4:30
  OK, 20 Yeah. So I, I know most of the piles
• 4:33
  of poop to, you know, not step in, right?
• 4:36
  But there's always a new one. It's always fresh piles.
• 4:38
  Yeah, there's always a new one that you step in.
• 4:41
  But I do, I do appreciate the fact that Christine listens to
• 4:44
  these and she even, well, sometimes when I'm gone on a
• 4:47
  trip, she'll she'll listen to the podcast and, you know,
• 4:50
  pretend that I'm there, which is kind of sweet that.
• 4:53
  Is really sweet. Yeah, so and she gives me.
• 4:57
  What a. Stalwart spouse.
• 5:00
  She's a sharpener. She's a sharpener.
• 5:03
  So we have a just a list of things we're going to go to.
• 5:05
  There's no particular order here, but we thought that
• 5:10
  marriage is really super important to what we do.
• 5:14
  And we've talked about it quite a bit over the course of the
• 5:19
  5758 episodes that we've done, but we've not done an entire
• 5:24
  podcast on it. So we thought we would really
• 5:25
  give it the time that it that it deserves.
• 5:28
  So let's start by talking some about like, you know, maybe our
• 5:33
  marriages, how how we met our wives really briefly and and
• 5:37
  when we got married and stuff like that.
• 5:39
  Just so give people the the rundown.
• 5:41
  The low down, Yeah. You want me to?
• 5:42
  Start. Do you start all right?
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  Well, Lauren, I met at a group home of all places, in Colorado,
• 5:53
  as in North. Was this like A1 Flew Over the
• 5:55
  Cuckoo's Nest situation or? Yeah, she was not going through
• 6:00
  the group home. She was actually a mentor to the
• 6:05
  young women in the group home. So yeah, it was a place where
• 6:10
  actually Jeremy and I had worked and there were boys and girls on
• 6:16
  the same campus. And it was a a ministry
• 6:19
  leadership programs called Shelter Wood.
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  Laura is from Louisiana. She's a Cajun gal from
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  Lafayette. And she had just graduated from
• 6:30
  LSU and was involved with Campus Crusade, and she wasn't quite
• 6:34
  ready to jump into her jobby job, the the job world and her
• 6:39
  degrees in information systems, software engineering, that kind
• 6:43
  of stuff. So anyway, she heard about this
• 6:46
  program, a ministry leadership program in Colorado where you
• 6:50
  would also be a mentor to struggling teenage girls.
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  So she decided to sign on for a year and do that at the same
• 6:58
  time that Jeremy and I had done that kind of as going back to
• 7:03
  the roots of Whetstone, that was really kind of our first look
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  into working with, with teenage boys, struggling boys.
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  And so anyways, that's where Laura and I met.
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  We spent the year working with other men and women that are,
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  you know, post collegiate age from anywhere from 21 to 26 or 7
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  and pouring into these kids. And so anyway, I met Laura there
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  and she stayed in Colorado after that year and we started dating
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  and we got married shortly, I, I think probably a year after,
• 7:43
  after that year at Shelterwood. And so after that we moved to
• 7:49
  West Plains in 2008 to start a boys ranch.
• 7:53
  So there's a lot more details to all that, but but that's that's
• 7:57
  where we. Met gist of it and what's your
• 7:58
  anniversary? June 18th OK, so it's going to
• 8:02
  be 20 years just. 20 years. OK.
• 8:04
  You got any any plans for celebration?
• 8:08
  We do, but I think it's gonna the, the trip's probably gonna
• 8:13
  have to wait till next year just to because of logistics.
• 8:19
  But yes, we're looking to, I don't know, we may, we're
• 8:22
  looking at maybe a, a European vacation, so.
• 8:27
  Nice. I don't know do it.
• 8:28
  Italy or something like that. Yeah, that would be.
• 8:30
  Cool. You should do it.
• 8:32
  Yeah, that's the way we celebrated ours.
• 8:34
  We went with some friends. Who OK, who are also celebrating
• 8:38
  their 20th, the college friends. Nice that we've kept in close
• 8:41
  contact with over the years, The Smiths and the Padens and yeah,
• 8:45
  that was a great, great way to go.
• 8:48
  All right, so my turn. Christine and I met at Harding
• 8:51
  University and we were attending the same church out in the
• 8:56
  country that a lot of people like ourselves who didn't kind
• 9:03
  of fit into the the normal kind of Harding scene.
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  A kind of I I guess we were kind of misfits in some ways and in
• 9:13
  the the best possible sense. And we kind of bumped into each
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  other out there. But I wasn't, you know, I
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  didn't, we didn't start dating. We just kind of were in each
• 9:25
  other's orbit, I guess you could say.
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  Had a lot of the same friends. But then we were both in West
• 9:31
  Side Story production of it at Harding.
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  And I was a, a, a jet. And when you're a jet, you're a
• 9:39
  jet all the way from your first cigarette to your last dying
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  day. And she was a shark.
• 9:47
  And she was Anita, who's one of the principal characters.
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  You know, she sings the song I want to be in America.
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  And she had a, a really big part.
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  So I, you know, piqued my interest.
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  It was like, because she's kind of quiet, she's introverted and
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  but on the stage she's a different person.
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  It's like, whoa, who's this person?
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  So we got to know each other a little bit in that during that
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  play, but not a whole lot because the director
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  intentionally kept us separate to, to fuel some of the, the
• 10:18
  rivalry between the gangs. But she was also the costume
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  director. And so I had to, I got to meet
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  with her sometimes because of that.
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  And she helped to outfit me and everything, although apparently
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  I didn't follow any of her advice.
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  I don't remember this, but she picked out she had a color
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  palette that she was using as the costume director of like
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  pastels. And I just wore whatever I
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  wanted, which I, I guess it wasn't a red flag to her.
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  So she knows I'm, I'm a little bit like that sometimes, maybe a
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  little bullheaded at times, but I don't remember thinking I
• 10:52
  didn't like her recommendations. I just, I don't know, I was
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  comfortable in what I was wearing.
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  So and it worked out, it still looked good.
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  So anyways, after the play, I asked her out on a date along
• 11:03
  with a bunch of other guys from the play.
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  It was kind of a group date. It was Halloween actually, and
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  we all dressed up in costumes and actually everyone dressed up
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  in tuxedos. And then at one point during the
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  dinner, we went back and and changed into like Halloween
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  clothing or something like that. It was a big, it was a gag.
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  And so I kind of, I guess, you know, captured her attention to
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  with some of my quirkiness and humor and and I was a song
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  leader at that church in the country.
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  So she liked that everything. So we started dating in the fall
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  of 9094 and for two years at Harding, she spent a semester in
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  Memphis as a because she grad, she's a couple years older than
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  I am. And so she had her first
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  teaching job, but then she enrolled in the masters program
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  at Harding in art education. So we got to spend time together
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  there. And then I did my student
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  teaching and then we we got married in the middle of my
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  student teaching and well, no, the semester before my student
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  teacher was my fifth year at Harding in the fall.
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  November 23rd, 1996. 19 none of your business.
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  Yeah, 1996. So again, like I said, it's 29
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  years coming up, almost our 30th anniversary.
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  So we have to start planning for that trip and our anniversary.
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  What is the 30th anniversary? Is there?
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  Is there anything that signifies that?
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  Like I think 25 is what? Silver. 50s gold.
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  Yeah, 30s. 30s probably something.
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  Yeah. Something between silver and
• 12:28
  gold or or I don't it's probably something like you have to get
• 12:35
  them a lamp or something like that.
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  Like it's not a metal. It's like you have to some kind
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  of object or item. I will say our our birthday is
• 12:44
  her birthday is the same day as our anniversary, November 23rd,
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  which is. That's interesting.
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  Sometimes makes it easier to remember.
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  Sometimes makes it harder to remember because there's a lot
• 12:54
  going on that time of year. Like, sometimes it's
• 12:57
  Thanksgiving, her birthday and our anniversary all the same
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  time, and we're travelling and we have kids and it's like
• 13:02
  chaos. And it's like, oh, it's our
• 13:04
  anniversary. Whoa.
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  And then sometimes, to make it even more complicated, Michigan
• 13:09
  and Ohio State are playing on that day.
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  As. Well, it's like the rivalry
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  game. And so that means nothing to
• 13:16
  her, but it, it, it's a big deal to to me and the, the family
• 13:19
  that I'm with and things like that.
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  So not that this is an excuse, all right?
• 13:24
  I'm not saying this is an excuse.
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  I'm not stepping into that pile right now.
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  So that's us and we have 4 kids and you've mentioned before you
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  have. Six kids so.
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  Between the two of us, we have 10 kids.
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  So lots of stuff to talk about in in the marriage.
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  And I think we should probably start with that because when we
• 13:43
  sat down to plan out what we're going to talk about, that was
• 13:45
  kind of the first thing that came up is that your marriage
• 13:48
  has to come first right before the kids.
• 13:50
  And it's really easy to get that turned around.
• 13:54
  Yeah, I mean, it's with all the things going on and kids
• 13:58
  shuffle, shuffling kids around all over the place, and it just
• 14:03
  always seems to be everything about the kids.
• 14:05
  It's easy to get in that mode where those relationships or
• 14:09
  your relationship with your spouse can be, excuse me, can be
• 14:12
  pushed to the side. And it's just really important,
• 14:17
  I think, for our kids to be able to see the model of that.
• 14:22
  You know, mom and dad are being intentional about their
• 14:25
  relationship. They love each other and they
• 14:29
  are, you know, there's no question that their relationship
• 14:33
  takes precedence over, you know, the the kids relationship.
• 14:37
  Because I think I mean by the, the obvious point is like if
• 14:40
  they see you guys arguing all the time and there's dissension
• 14:43
  and you guys are never on the same page.
• 14:46
  There's just this underlying insecurity that well, as mom and
• 14:50
  dad, are they OK or are they going to get divorced or like
• 14:53
  what's going on? There's always just like
• 14:56
  undercurrent of anxiety in our kids that can manifest itself in
• 15:01
  like a lot of different negative behaviors.
• 15:04
  So just in general, the model of really being intentional for
• 15:09
  especially for us as men to, to show affection, like for our
• 15:14
  sons to really model what that looks like, but but to show
• 15:18
  affection to our wives and to know that that relationship is
• 15:21
  secure is huge as far as what our kids catch from that.
• 15:29
  Yeah, yeah. And one thing you said that
• 15:33
  really got me thinking was like the communication thing.
• 15:35
  Like you have to be able to communicate and show your kids
• 15:40
  that you're communicating and to show your kids that you don't
• 15:43
  always agree about things too. Like you can err on the other
• 15:46
  side of just presenting this perfect picture of what it is to
• 15:52
  be married when underneath you're seething, you know, or
• 15:55
  underneath you're, you're kind of putting off something that
• 15:59
  needs to be dealt with that just blows up later on.
• 16:02
  So you have to find that sweet spot of not having conflict in
• 16:07
  such a way that your children feel unsettled or anxious or
• 16:12
  worried about if mom and dad are going to stay together and still
• 16:17
  modeling for them how to work through conflict.
• 16:20
  Because a good marriage, I think is, is constantly having to
• 16:25
  navigate those things. When, when is it good to have a,
• 16:27
  a conversation about something and when is it good to just, we
• 16:30
  had this conversation just the other day.
• 16:32
  We've been married 29 years and we're still having some of the
• 16:35
  same conversations that we had when we were first married.
• 16:38
  And it was about a comb. And now I'm getting older and
• 16:43
  when I comb my hair, sometimes the hair is coming out, you
• 16:47
  know, and it used to be I could comb my hair and no hair would
• 16:51
  come out. But now it's coming out a little
• 16:53
  bit and I apparently am leaving it out on the on the counter,
• 16:58
  the table with the hair still in it, which is, I agree, kind of
• 17:01
  gross. But but I also have, I thought I
• 17:05
  was doing a good job of, of, you know, picking up after myself,
• 17:09
  you know, not shaving and leaving all of your hair in the
• 17:12
  sink, for example. That's a rookie mistake as a
• 17:14
  husband, right? So, but she's like, no, you're
• 17:18
  doing a lot. I'm like, well, I don't think I
• 17:21
  am, you know, and then you're like, well, I don't get credit
• 17:24
  for all the good things that I do.
• 17:26
  I don't get credit for anything, you know, talk about not getting
• 17:28
  credit, you know. Don't turn it back on me.
• 17:30
  Yeah. So we had to work through that
• 17:33
  and it was, it wasn't easy. I mean, it was kind of a
• 17:37
  difficult conversation, but it was one that we needed to have.
• 17:40
  So and it wasn't just that usually it's not usually just
• 17:44
  the comb, it's like others. Yeah, it's always like, I'm
• 17:47
  gonna use the comb as the tipping point of like all these
• 17:52
  other things that I'm feeling. I'm fine.
• 17:53
  This is the last straw. I'm going to say something.
• 17:55
  Yeah. There's always a little bit more
• 17:57
  behind just that, isolated. Oh, yeah.
• 17:59
  And then you then you get into it and all of a sudden you're
• 18:02
  talking about all this other stuff that you're like, weren't
• 18:04
  prepared to talk about. And it goes even deeper.
• 18:07
  And you're like, Oh my goodness, what is wrong with our marriage?
• 18:10
  You know, so we do this thing when we when we kind of step
• 18:15
  into one of those, one of those piles.
• 18:18
  I think I'm we may have mentioned this somewhere on the
• 18:20
  podcast before, but we talk about like going around the
• 18:22
  bases. Did you ever did you do that at
• 18:24
  Pomona? Yes, the going around the bases
• 18:27
  training, marriage training. It was like a two night deal.
• 18:30
  Yeah, it was there and it was good.
• 18:32
  It was really good. And they gave us these little
• 18:33
  magnets. We still have the magnet.
• 18:35
  Do you? I do not, but I can't have a
• 18:38
  conversation because it's always the guy.
• 18:42
  Yeah, there's some good stuff, but I just could not get past
• 18:45
  the of course this is I guess my brain, but his his acronym was
• 18:50
  score. Yeah, right, right.
• 18:53
  And I I can't. Remember you score you.
• 18:55
  Probably, yeah. We'll get in.
• 18:56
  Do you want to score? Do you want to stay on first
• 18:59
  base bro? I mean, what was?
• 19:01
  Do you remember the acronyms are all the all the letters?
• 19:05
  What they stood for. No, we don't.
• 19:07
  We don't, actually. I mean, talk about C had to be
• 19:09
  communication, right? Yeah.
• 19:11
  That's right, I don't. Anyways, that's all I took away
• 19:13
  from it was the score so. And but so there was that.
• 19:18
  And then there was also this metaphor of like going around
• 19:21
  the bases, like first base is identify with a problem.
• 19:25
  So you tell me what what you're feeling and second base is me
• 19:30
  repeating back to you accurately.
• 19:32
  What what you not what I think the problem is, but what I think
• 19:35
  you think the problem is. And that will usually take, it
• 19:39
  could take a while because you'll you'll paraphrase it in a
• 19:42
  way that makes you look like you're not as bad as they think
• 19:46
  you are. And they're like, no, that's not
• 19:48
  it. You're not listening to what I'm
• 19:49
  saying. OK, well, I think you're saying
• 19:52
  this. Well, that's a little better.
• 19:54
  And then you go back and forth and then OK now.
• 19:57
  There's like, can you like, not talk to me in that tone?
• 20:02
  Yeah, that all you get into all that stuff when you're going
• 20:05
  around the bases, it's there's some friction and it's not going
• 20:08
  to be easy, but identify the problem and then repeat the
• 20:11
  problem. You know, active listening is
• 20:12
  what it's called. So repeat back to the problem.
• 20:14
  And then the person has to let you, you have to all agree
• 20:18
  before you go to third base. Like let's not go to third base
• 20:21
  and try and fix the problem before we all both agree what
• 20:24
  the problem is, or at least agree that I, I that that's what
• 20:30
  you think the problem is, right. You know, I, I don't necessarily
• 20:33
  have to agree that that's the problem.
• 20:35
  I just, you have to agree that I understand what you think the
• 20:40
  problem is. Yeah.
• 20:42
  So there's lots of layers there. So then then third base is like
• 20:46
  negotiation. It's like, OK, so if that's the
• 20:48
  problem, what is a, a solution to that?
• 20:52
  And so you don't a lot of times even have to agree that there's
• 20:56
  a problem to agree to the solution.
• 20:59
  So I, I may say, OK, well, what if I did this?
• 21:02
  Would that's, would it still be a problem for you if I did this?
• 21:05
  Because I can do this and it's not a problem for me.
• 21:09
  And she's like, no, that wouldn't fix the problem.
• 21:10
  Why don't you suggest something? Well, if you did this and I'm
• 21:13
  like, no, I don't think that's fair because it's, you know,
• 21:15
  assumes this and that and the other thing about me.
• 21:17
  But so third base is like identifying what the problem is.
• 21:20
  And then home base is like, yeah, celebration.
• 21:22
  You know, we, we made it. We scored, we scored.
• 21:25
  Right. And then?
• 21:26
  Whatever that means to you, Brandon, we don't need to go
• 21:29
  into the details of what that scoring means to you, but to me,
• 21:32
  it means having a good marriage. Oh, OK, Yeah, well, that's.
• 21:36
  That's great, but there are other things involved in having
• 21:39
  a good marriage which we can get into later as well, because that
• 21:43
  is one of the topics that we wrote down.
• 21:45
  Yeah, it just takes all of that is like it takes work, right?
• 21:50
  It's just with, we've talked about the relationship with our
• 21:54
  kids and being intentional, like all relationships take work.
• 21:58
  And I would say it takes an extra, extra measure of work
• 22:02
  because especially when you do have kids, there's just so many
• 22:05
  other things and distractions going on that it really is
• 22:13
  important to be intentional with that time.
• 22:16
  So I mean on that note, Axel, what are some ways that you
• 22:21
  guys, how do you guys do that as far as how are we intentional
• 22:26
  with that time? Yeah, well, we've tried a
• 22:29
  variety of things over the years.
• 22:32
  I don't know that it's, it's like a moving target.
• 22:36
  That's what I wrote down in my notes.
• 22:38
  It's like having a good marriage is a a moving target and one
• 22:43
  thing will work for a period of time and then all of a sudden
• 22:46
  it'll stop working for some reason.
• 22:48
  And it's not always because you stop doing it.
• 22:51
  Sometimes it is you're just lazy and you stop having the
• 22:54
  discipline to schedule the time. But then sometimes it's like, I
• 22:58
  don't know why this isn't working anymore.
• 23:00
  So we got to figure out something else.
• 23:03
  And sometimes there's a period of time where you don't, like,
• 23:06
  realize that it's not working. And so you can fall into this
• 23:11
  pattern of just kind of being lazy and complacent about your
• 23:15
  marriage. Yeah.
• 23:16
  It's real easy to do, especially when you have all these other
• 23:19
  really good things that you're doing that are super important
• 23:24
  and that, you know, here's the real hard part.
• 23:27
  You feel like you're even better at those things.
• 23:30
  Better at being a dad than I am a husband right now, or I'm
• 23:34
  better at my job than I am at being a husband right now.
• 23:38
  And it makes me feel good. And thinking about and working
• 23:41
  on my marriage makes me feel like crap.
• 23:42
  And so why would I do that when I can do all these other really
• 23:46
  good things that I'm good at? Yeah, yeah.
• 23:49
  Why should I do the thing that I'm not good at?
• 23:52
  So. But having said that, I would
• 23:54
  say things that have worked over the years, like scheduling some
• 23:58
  time to talk when we get home, like a porch time or a couch
• 24:02
  time, that a lot of people find that very effective.
• 24:05
  We've had a hard time doing that recently.
• 24:07
  To be totally transparent, having things that you like to
• 24:12
  do together, like multiple things.
• 24:14
  Like not just one thing, but multiple things.
• 24:17
  We like to travel, we like music, we like art, we like
• 24:20
  movies, we like to have good like food experiences, that kind
• 24:26
  of thing. Visiting friends.
• 24:30
  So those are things that are are pretty regular, regular.
• 24:34
  We haven't have gotten away from having date night, but we used
• 24:36
  to always, you know, once a month we'd go see a movie and,
• 24:39
  yeah, go out to eat. Yeah, it's tough to find find
• 24:47
  those times because I know for us, we've for a while there it
• 24:52
  was you had mentioned like the couch time, the kids and it's
• 24:55
  been a joke in our house, you know, or even it was when during
• 24:58
  this like, oh, great couch time, you know, because basically to
• 25:02
  the kids and knew they couldn't come in there or it was they had
• 25:06
  to go do their thing for an indefinite period of time.
• 25:10
  There's no access to mom. You know, it's just like
• 25:12
  especially with the little kids, that's like the hardest part is
• 25:14
  just, you know, you don't need mom right now or, you know, you
• 25:18
  don't need anything. You don't need food and just the
• 25:20
  pile of kids that want to just come and and be there.
• 25:23
  That's, I mean, it's obviously a blessing, but it's like you have
• 25:26
  to take some extra discipline to like set up those parameters and
• 25:31
  really try to coach the kids on that.
• 25:35
  And that's not part of the process, like we talked about,
• 25:37
  of just showing the kids that your relationship matters.
• 25:41
  And we're, I don't really care that, you know, your stuff's
• 25:45
  going to take second play, second fiddle to our time right
• 25:49
  now. So you can't come in here.
• 25:51
  You got to go find something to do.
• 25:52
  Yeah, unless you're bleeding or you got a bone sticking out more
• 25:56
  a lot of blood. So.
• 25:58
  Yeah. So yeah, those are important
• 26:02
  things to. On that note, maybe you think of
• 26:04
  this Instagram reel that I saw of a mom who was was hiding from
• 26:13
  her kids just to have some like. Oh yeah, a long time, yeah.
• 26:17
  And she did. And the real was she put, like,
• 26:20
  a coat on over her head. And then she stepped on the the
• 26:24
  door handles on a door and pretended like she was the coat
• 26:27
  hanging on the door. Oh, yeah.
• 26:28
  And so it was really convincing. It just looked like a coat
• 26:31
  hanging there because she was all holed up inside of it with
• 26:33
  her feet on top of the doorknobs.
• 26:35
  And then the kids come in and they look around.
• 26:37
  They don't see her. They walk out.
• 26:38
  The husband comes in and he looks.
• 26:40
  He walks around, doesn't see her.
• 26:41
  He walks out. He's like, these are the links
• 26:44
  to which your mom has to go sometimes times to get just a
• 26:46
  couple seconds to herself. Oh yeah, I mean, that's so true.
• 26:51
  And it seems like the, I don't know, we've said it before, just
• 26:57
  our, our house is not huge. And so it just, there's not a
• 27:00
  whole lot of spaces for people to go to get away from noise and
• 27:04
  have some solitude. And so, so those alone time is,
• 27:11
  is a big deal. So one thing I was going to say
• 27:14
  too, going back to like just the communication piece.
• 27:18
  And I've, I've done this at plenty of times.
• 27:22
  It's sometimes your kids and playing with your kids can be an
• 27:26
  excuse for not having to face, you know, a, a tough
• 27:31
  conversation that you need to have with your wife.
• 27:35
  And can, you know, kick the can down the road by, you know,
• 27:39
  going and doing things outside or, you know, just doing what
• 27:43
  you want to do with the kids instead of facing some things
• 27:46
  that you really need to face with your wife.
• 27:49
  And and then it ends up being kind of where you're walking on
• 27:53
  egg shells around each other. And, you know, the kids pick up
• 27:56
  on that too, where it's just like they know something's up,
• 27:59
  something's kind of not right. And so it's that's not a good, a
• 28:06
  good environment, you know, overall, obviously when you're
• 28:11
  in those just kind of in that that realm.
• 28:15
  So you need to just communicate and be intentional with those
• 28:20
  things and. Yeah, the communication is #1
• 28:23
  like you got, you got to communicate.
• 28:24
  I think more marriages, more businesses, more countries fall
• 28:32
  apart because they can't communicate.
• 28:34
  And so that's at the top of the list.
• 28:35
  Money is another thing. You know, you got to get on
• 28:37
  this. That's also communication.
• 28:39
  You got to get on the same page about where your money's going.
• 28:42
  How are you going to spend your money?
• 28:43
  How are you going to pay for this, that or the other thing or
• 28:46
  save up for it. We talked last week about
• 28:49
  sickness and illness and for better or for worse, and we just
• 28:54
  some things come up that you have to, you have to deal with
• 28:58
  as they come up. You can't necessarily plan for
• 29:00
  them, but you have to change and adapt and grow and evolve.
• 29:05
  And I think that's probably the the, the biggest thing that I
• 29:11
  didn't realize about marriage 29 years ago was, was that how how
• 29:16
  much we were both going to change?
• 29:18
  How much life was going to. Yeah, what life was going to do
• 29:22
  to us, you know, and that hasn't been all bad.
• 29:27
  I'm not saying it's been bad. It's just it's just hard to
• 29:30
  adapt sometimes because that that change.
• 29:32
  Sometimes it happens really quickly all of a sudden, but a
• 29:35
  lot of times it's just really slow.
• 29:37
  And you, you people talk about growing apart and it's such a
• 29:42
  easy excuse that people give to get divorced, you know?
• 29:44
  Oh, we just grew apart and we don't, we don't, we're not in
• 29:47
  love anymore, which is a load of crap, like just haven't been
• 29:50
  working on it, right. And so there's the analogy about
• 29:54
  the pyramid, like if God's at the top and the two of us are
• 29:56
  the at the base of this triangle, then we should, if
• 30:00
  we're both moving towards God, then even if we are changing and
• 30:04
  evolving and taking different routes up that path towards God,
• 30:08
  we're going to be growing closer to each other.
• 30:11
  So I think that's, that's really the key is that you both have to
• 30:14
  keep God at the center of your relationship and, and other
• 30:19
  things. That analogy is helpful with
• 30:21
  other things too, like common interests and, you know, we're
• 30:23
  working towards common goal. Kids can be that that mountain
• 30:26
  that we're both working on to some extent, but not in the same
• 30:29
  way that God is, because God is, is gluing us together in a way
• 30:33
  that is it transcends the material aspects of, of, of life
• 30:37
  that are, you know, temporal. Yeah, that's a good point with
• 30:42
  that pyramid. And just as we talked about our
• 30:44
  relationship with our spouse taking precedence over the kids,
• 30:47
  our relationship with Christ has to take precedence over our
• 30:51
  relationship with our spouse. And so if we're doing that, then
• 30:56
  a lot of those things or a lot of the things that we're talking
• 30:58
  about, you know, kind of take care of themselves as far as you
• 31:03
  know, with the problems that are and consequences that you have
• 31:07
  of not doing that. And I one of the things that,
• 31:12
  you know, you talk about life circumstances, sometimes there's
• 31:15
  a trauma in the family, sometimes there's an injury,
• 31:17
  sometimes there's a sickness, sometimes there's a surgery that
• 31:22
  your spouse is out of Commission for a while, you know, and it's
• 31:26
  just like all of a sudden your duties just doubled for a while.
• 31:31
  And it's something that you think you're prepared for, but
• 31:36
  you're not. And then you, you know, realize,
• 31:38
  you know how much your wife actually does during the day or
• 31:41
  whatever the situation is. It's like it takes you really,
• 31:45
  if your relationship with Christ is not where it needs to be, you
• 31:49
  get into the zone of just like I do so much and now I got all of
• 31:53
  this to do. Like there's too much for me.
• 31:54
  I can't do this. And then it's just like this woe
• 31:57
  is me mentality. And it's all of, you know, it
• 32:00
  goes back to focusing on yourself and the things that
• 32:03
  you're doing and how much you're giving as opposed to if our
• 32:08
  mindset was kept on Christ and what he expects of us, we're
• 32:13
  going to have more of a humble servant attitude of like, hey,
• 32:17
  this is going to be tough and it's going to be a long road,
• 32:21
  but I'm committed to you and I'm going to take care of you the
• 32:25
  way I promised that I would. And, you know, early on, and,
• 32:29
  and I know we've talked about this before, as well as just
• 32:31
  communicating with your kids on, on that kind of stuff, like,
• 32:35
  hey, mom is she needs some extra help and we need to jump in as a
• 32:42
  family and fill in some of the gaps for a while.
• 32:45
  It's not going to be easy, but we can do it.
• 32:47
  And if they see us doing that and have a a good positive
• 32:51
  attitude, I mean, it just is helps to permeate that positive
• 32:57
  attitude down the line. Yeah, yeah.
• 33:02
  So there's another topic here I thought we'd spend some time
• 33:06
  getting into because this is a podcast about marriage and
• 33:11
  that's the topic of sex. So we're not something we're not
• 33:15
  afraid to talk about. Cue the Cue the salt and pepper
• 33:18
  song, right? Yeah, Yep, I think.
• 33:20
  It's you think Tom knows. You think Tom's heard that song?
• 33:22
  I'm sure he's heard. Yeah, I mean, it's pretty
• 33:24
  popular. Back in the day, back in the day
• 33:27
  now all songs are about sex. But back then, if there was a
• 33:29
  song about sex, it was like, whoa, it's a big, he said sex in
• 33:33
  the song. Yeah, it's pretty amazing.
• 33:36
  So we thought, like I said, it's something we'd we'd talk about
• 33:41
  at the ranch. We have to be careful, you know,
• 33:43
  sometimes it's just within the context of, of a therapist and
• 33:47
  they're going to have to work through a lot of stuff that, you
• 33:50
  know, has happened in regards to that, whether it's pornography
• 33:52
  or, or abuse or exposure to things that they, they didn't
• 33:56
  have any control over or addictions or addictive thinking
• 34:00
  about, about sex. And then also like, we're not
• 34:05
  afraid to talk about it with the boys if it, if it comes up in a
• 34:08
  group context or, and it's appropriate to go there.
• 34:10
  Bible has a lot to say on the subject.
• 34:12
  And so we'll talk about it, but I thought I'd throw it out.
• 34:16
  This is a topic for conversation because it's something that
• 34:18
  glues 2 people together. That's why God created it.
• 34:21
  I use the analogy if I ever like teach a, a teenage class about a
• 34:26
  piece of tape, like a piece of Scotch tape.
• 34:28
  If you took that a brand new piece of Scotch tape and you
• 34:32
  used and you used it to tape something together, it works
• 34:35
  really, really well, right? There's a bonding agent to that
• 34:37
  tape. But if you take that tape and
• 34:39
  you go and you, you press it on someone's sweater and then you
• 34:42
  go and you press it on the ground and then you go and you
• 34:45
  press it on the wall and it picks up dust and, and all this
• 34:49
  stuff. And then I go, I'm like, OK,
• 34:51
  well, now I want to go use this tape to the way it should be
• 34:53
  used. It's not going to work, you
• 34:56
  know, and that's not to say God can't do miraculous things to
• 35:00
  things that, you know, in spite of horrible decisions we have
• 35:04
  made previously in our lives regarding our, our, our sexual
• 35:07
  practices. But the way that it's meant to
• 35:10
  work is that it binds two people together.
• 35:13
  And when it's, when it's practiced outside of the context
• 35:16
  of marriage, it doesn't work the way that God designed it to
• 35:19
  work. And so some of the things I've
• 35:22
  learned about the way that I think sex works, I'll, I'll
• 35:27
  throw a couple out and then you can throw a couple out.
• 35:29
  Brandon, and this is this PG13. Don't worry, we're going to,
• 35:32
  we're going to talk about this in AI think an appropriate way.
• 35:35
  So if you're listening into the car with kids, then, you know,
• 35:39
  if they're whatever your age is, when you feel comfortable
• 35:42
  talking about sex, you can do that.
• 35:44
  But if not, maybe you just get past this part.
• 35:46
  But like I I let the concept of practice makes perfect.
• 35:51
  Like you have to it's something you have to work at.
• 35:54
  I didn't realize that when I got married.
• 35:56
  Is it sex is a discipline, something you have to work at
• 36:01
  and and schedule, sometimes even and well?
• 36:04
  They say sex starts in the kitchen, right?
• 36:06
  Yeah, yeah, that's right. By you doing the dishes.
• 36:10
  Yeah, yeah. And serving and helping and.
• 36:12
  Vacuuming or whatever. Yeah, there's a there's a whole,
• 36:15
  you know, guys are, there's a whole cliche of guys are a, a
• 36:18
  microwave and women are an oven. So, but not just in the sense of
• 36:22
  like foreplay. I mean, like the, the whole idea
• 36:25
  of like getting, getting to where you, you're, you're
• 36:29
  proficient. You know, you're, you're good at
• 36:31
  it. Like it that to be good at
• 36:33
  anything takes practice. And when you're a young person,
• 36:36
  you just think it looks so easy in the movies and the TV shows,
• 36:41
  and it's like everyone is just. Right, it's a fantasy.
• 36:44
  Land. It's a fantasy.
• 36:45
  Land that's a problem with like pornography that you mentioned
• 36:48
  with just that the exposure to that at an early age, you have
• 36:52
  such a skewed view of of what that of what sexuality is.
• 36:57
  And so it's just like everything you know, you just get this idea
• 37:01
  that you know well, it's just the the women are sex objects.
• 37:06
  There's objectification and there's just like they're always
• 37:09
  just totally ready to go or it's just a totally skewed view of
• 37:13
  what the, the reality of again, the way God designed it.
• 37:17
  And two people that love each other and being able to, you
• 37:21
  know, pleasure each other in the way that they want to be.
• 37:24
  Is it does take time and practice and growing together
• 37:28
  and communicating, communication the same, going back to
• 37:31
  communication, the same thing with, you know, helping your
• 37:35
  spouse understand what, what you like.
• 37:38
  And, and some people have, you know, I would, I would think we
• 37:45
  have to be have the humility as well as as men or women to be
• 37:50
  able to say, OK, I may have done that wrong.
• 37:53
  Or they just, they will like it a different way.
• 37:55
  Or being able to just be humble, communicate and be able to serve
• 38:01
  the other one in the way that that they like.
• 38:05
  You know it's all facets of the. Mind and it's not, it's not easy
• 38:08
  to talk about sometimes like, and, and it there have there's a
• 38:13
  it's not always the right time to talk about like it's not
• 38:16
  something you can just talk about anytime you want.
• 38:18
  Like that has to be like a context and there has to be a
• 38:22
  gift of privacy. And there's that element of
• 38:25
  humility like you're talking about because it's easy to like
• 38:28
  take things the wrong way or to say things the wrong way.
• 38:31
  And so a lot of times we just avoid the topic that just like
• 38:35
  we talked about other things earlier in the podcast about
• 38:37
  conflict, like they become a conflict there.
• 38:40
  And it can be embarrassing and, and all this stuff.
• 38:43
  But yeah, make some time. I've found that talking about it
• 38:47
  is very helpful. And sometimes it's kind of fun
• 38:49
  too. If if you, you know, it doesn't
• 38:51
  have to be awkward as well. And, and going back to what you
• 38:55
  said, like secrets of remaining married for 29 years or
• 38:59
  whatever, I would say that's that's another one is the humor.
• 39:01
  Like to have a sense of humor. I think that's one thing that I,
• 39:05
  I really appreciate about Christina is she just has this
• 39:07
  really quirky, weird sense of humor that is mischievous and
• 39:14
  things like that. Like, one of the first things
• 39:15
  she did when we were dating was she when we were backstage at
• 39:19
  the play, she was picking things off the ground.
• 39:22
  And these little like metal, you know, like glitter.
• 39:26
  Like. Little party festival thing.
• 39:30
  But when you look at them, you're like, oh, it's like a
• 39:31
  little clown or like it's a little umbrella, but it's
• 39:35
  really, really tiny and it's like metallic.
• 39:37
  You know what I'm talking about, plastic.
• 39:38
  And people just throw them and they like confetti kind.
• 39:41
  Of yeah, I like confetti. So she was going around and like
• 39:43
  giving people these little, tiny, tiny little things and I
• 39:48
  was just caught my attention. I was like, that's the kind of
• 39:50
  thing she, she meant. She, she notices little things
• 39:53
  like that because she's an artist.
• 39:54
  And and so, yeah, it, it can be something sex can be.
• 39:59
  We weren't talking about sex like when we were like at that
• 40:02
  point in our relationship. Just to be clear, you know
• 40:04
  that's something within the context of of marriage.
• 40:09
  Although some premarital counseling about that topic is
• 40:12
  advisable as well, I would think.
• 40:13
  But yeah, it's, it's fun, I would say.
• 40:18
  I mean, the Bible says don't abstain for a long period of
• 40:20
  time unless there's fasting or there's a spiritual reason to do
• 40:24
  so. I think that's really, really
• 40:25
  important. You shouldn't go a long periods
• 40:28
  of time without being intimate with your wife.
• 40:34
  I would say also I said I think, yeah, I think those are my
• 40:41
  things. This is the idea I came up with.
• 40:45
  We're working on getting better at the Internet here at the
• 40:48
  ranch, designing our website and Seos.
• 40:52
  And things like this. Marketing and trying to get that
• 40:55
  algorithm just right to funnel the right people to Whetstone.
• 41:00
  Lead generation stuff targeting and.
• 41:03
  Yeah, donors, clients, everything like that.
• 41:06
  There's like an algorithm, but that's always like changing, you
• 41:09
  know what I mean? Like Google is constantly trying
• 41:12
  to keep people from cheating the system and everything.
• 41:15
  And so you have to have someone who's always has their kind of
• 41:18
  finger on the pulse there. And I guess I feel that way
• 41:21
  about that sex sometimes. It's like, it's like the
• 41:24
  algorithm is constantly changing as you get older.
• 41:27
  Like you're changing physically, you're changing emotionally,
• 41:30
  your, your personality, the things you like, your, your time
• 41:33
  schedule is constantly changing. So, yeah, and like as you get
• 41:35
  older, I mean, just hormones change and there's, you know, a
• 41:42
  lot that can change just, you know, drive wise.
• 41:46
  Luckily I have not had to deal with.
• 41:48
  Yeah. Yeah, apparently not.
• 41:52
  Yeah, Christine and I talk about that a lot too, Like there's a
• 41:57
  people get divorced frequently and when their kids get older,
• 42:00
  right, And they no longer have that thing buying them together.
• 42:03
  But they're also some some very difficult things going on
• 42:09
  hormonally in men and women about that time of their lives.
• 42:13
  So I don't think that can be discounted either.
• 42:15
  And that is another thing that I didn't, I didn't realize when I
• 42:18
  was a younger person that you're going to go through all of these
• 42:20
  changes. You think you would go through
• 42:22
  purity and it's over, right? I made it through the big
• 42:25
  change. But there's more stuff coming,
• 42:27
  you know, and we need to be able to talk about and understand our
• 42:32
  bodies and our minds and everything like that.
• 42:35
  Yeah. So I, I think that was, those
• 42:38
  are the main things I had written down to, to get to.
• 42:42
  Did you have anything else you wanted to talk about with with
• 42:44
  marriage? The only other note that I had
• 42:47
  written down and, and just kind of bringing it back to the
• 42:51
  families that we work with. And, and of course, you know,
• 42:56
  with the podcast that we're, we're doing here with teachers
• 43:00
  and counselors and parents. And specifically with just how
• 43:06
  it relates to our boys and some of the the consequences and how
• 43:11
  boys get to the behaviors that they get to.
• 43:16
  And, and in order for, you know, parents have to make a tough
• 43:19
  decision to send them to a boys ranch.
• 43:22
  I mean, this is plays right into a lot of years leading up to why
• 43:27
  a boy's behaviors have manifested the way they have.
• 43:31
  There's a lot of things, again, that there's traumas that that
• 43:35
  happened in the family and some of them we have control over and
• 43:38
  some of them we don't. And so there's we've talked
• 43:42
  about those, but there's we didn't really talk about broken
• 43:47
  families. A number of our families are
• 43:51
  come from divorced homes. And there's just there's
• 43:55
  consequences there. You know, I hate it when I hear
• 43:59
  people say, oh, kids are resilient.
• 44:01
  You know, they'll be OK, you know, they are, you know, and
• 44:04
  it's not like they're going to die.
• 44:07
  But you know what, there's a lot of consequences there that need
• 44:09
  to be worked through and it shouldn't be discounted, you
• 44:13
  know, And I just think that a lot of that going back to well,
• 44:17
  we just grew apart or kids are resilient.
• 44:19
  It was just an excuse for people not to put in the work.
• 44:22
  And but regardless, divorces happen.
• 44:26
  Divorce. There's a lot of families that
• 44:28
  we've worked with have been divorced and but it doesn't.
• 44:35
  So I just say that to just just know that it has a huge effect
• 44:41
  on our sons and our daughters and the the lack of security
• 44:46
  that's there and identity and, and who they are on all that
• 44:51
  stuff plays into the consequences that are that are
• 44:57
  there and the behaviors that are negative because of that doesn't
• 45:01
  mean obviously God doesn't restore that and can't restore
• 45:03
  relationships or we wouldn't be doing what we're doing.
• 45:06
  But. Yeah.
• 45:07
  And we should mention that we like having a a therapist to
• 45:12
  counselor on staff. You know, all of our previous
• 45:16
  counselors have been marriage and family therapist and we're
• 45:20
  in the process of recruiting more as we expand.
• 45:24
  And that's, that's an important thing to us that a counselor is
• 45:27
  going to be able to sit down with the parents and the child.
• 45:32
  Like that's a, a kind of a foundational principle in our
• 45:36
  program is that the the family can't just decide, oh, we're
• 45:41
  going to send Johnny off to get fixed.
• 45:44
  It's like, no, your marriage is an important part of this whole
• 45:48
  process. Yeah, and you're part of the
• 45:50
  problem. Yeah, yeah.
• 45:51
  Or part of the solution and. Solution.
• 45:53
  Whether or not you were a part of this problem, you're a part
• 45:56
  of the solution. So, and we're not here to, to
• 46:00
  shame anyone for, you know, divorce or for struggling in
• 46:05
  their marriage. Like we've, we've all struggled
• 46:07
  in our marriage. You know, the family man, the
• 46:09
  guy that we listen to a lot, he likes to say, you know, you
• 46:12
  think your marriage is, is hard and you look at other people's
• 46:15
  marriage and you're comparing yours with theirs.
• 46:18
  He's like, let me tell you something, all marriages suck.
• 46:20
  That's what he says. He's like, your marriage suck.
• 46:24
  My marriage sucks. They all suck on some level,
• 46:27
  like, and you got to just push through that stuff that happens
• 46:31
  in your marriage and everything. And so we're about bringing the
• 46:36
  the mom and the dad together, get them on the same page, get a
• 46:40
  plan, bring along the the son, family therapy through phone
• 46:45
  calls, family intensives, father son weekends.
• 46:48
  Yeah, all that stuff is a part of the the process of of sending
• 46:51
  a boy here to Whetstone. And it's worth the fight.
• 46:55
  You got to stay in the fight. Yep.
• 46:57
  Because there's definitely worth it.
• 46:59
  Yep. Families and spouses.
• 47:01
  The struggle is real. Worth fighting for?
• 47:04
  All right, Brandon, I appreciate you making the time to do this
• 47:08
  now. You got lots of stuff on your
• 47:10
  plate, but like it's valuable to the 73 Spotify followers that we
• 47:17
  have. I think we have a little bit
• 47:20
  more than that on Apple. So you know, with all the
• 47:23
  streaming platforms and everything, I'm guessing there's
• 47:25
  a couple 100 people out there that we're on their on their.
• 47:31
  Radar. They don't mind not listening to
• 47:32
  every single podcast, but they listen to a lot of them.
• 47:35
  Don't get a lot of comments though, so we'd love to have
• 47:38
  some comments. Yeah, Likes, shares, all that
• 47:42
  stuff. Sponsors.
• 47:43
  We'd love to have a sponsor. I had an idea I was going to run
• 47:46
  by you before the podcast. I might try it next time.
• 47:49
  We should create like a fake sponsor.
• 47:52
  Oh yeah. And like a goofy kind of funny
• 47:54
  fake sponsor and start off the podcast with a different a
• 47:57
  different fake sponsor until we have a real one.
• 48:00
  Yeah. And then hopefully people would
• 48:02
  realize the real 1 wasn't fake. Yeah, it could be a problem,
• 48:05
  but. It's an idea.
• 48:07
  Anyways, if you're interested in sponsoring this podcast, I think
• 48:10
  you'll get some good exposure. And yeah, it could could help us
• 48:13
  out as well. So win, win.
• 48:16
  We always like to thank Thomas Brown for helping out with this
• 48:19
  podcast and Thomas is a big Princess Bride fan.
• 48:25
  We interrupt this program to bring you a special report.
• 48:29
  Well, you know, sorry to break in here, but this is Thomas and
• 48:32
  I have to, I have to set the record straight, Brandon and
• 48:36
  Axel. And it's probably sacrilegious
• 48:38
  for me to say this, being a movie buff that I am, but I have
• 48:41
  never seen The Princess Bride. Say it ain't so, Joe, Say it
• 48:47
  ain't so. And don't ask me why.
• 48:49
  I do own it. I do own the film on Blu-ray.
• 48:52
  I do have the soundtrack by Mark Knopfler, of course, from Dire
• 48:55
  Straits. I have that.
• 48:56
  It's a great soundtrack, but I've never actually watched the
• 48:59
  film. Please stand by for further
• 49:02
  details. They return you now to your
• 49:03
  regularly scheduled program. Hopefully you can incorporate a
• 49:06
  few Princess Bride. Quotes one of the most quotable.
• 49:09
  Please don't. In the history.
• 49:10
  Tom, please don't. So that's a challenge.
• 49:14
  So thanks, Thomas, and as always, thank you all for
• 49:17
  listening and we'll catch you next time on a time to sharpen.
• 49:21
  See you Whetstone Boys Ranch is a therapeutic boarding school
• 49:32
  located in the scenic Ozarks of southern Missouri.
• 49:36
  It was founded in 2011 to serve families from around the country
• 49:40
  who are struggling with challenging behaviors from their
• 49:43
  12 to 16 year old sons. Our mission is to sharpen the
• 49:47
  character of young men. Please visit
• 49:49
  whetstoneboysranch.com if you want to learn more about our
• 49:52
  program or about how to contact us for help.
• 49:56
  Thanks for listening and we hope to catch you next time on A Time
• 49:59
  to Sharpen.