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Creating the Person You Want to Be Takes 12 Minutes a Day · The Missing Secret Podcast

• 0:04
  Kelly Hatfield: We believe life is precious. This is it. We've got one shot at this. It's on us to live life to the fullest to maximize what we've been given and play the game of life at our full potential.
• 0:17
  John Mitchell: Are you living up to your potential? Are you frustrated that despite your best intentions, you just can't seem to make the changes needed to take things to the next level. So you can impact your career relationships and health.
• 0:31
  Kelly Hatfield: If this is hitting home, you're in the right place. Our mission is to open the door to the exceptional life by showing you how to play the game of life at a higher level. So you're playing at your full potential, rather than at a fraction as most people do. We'll share the one thing that once we learned it, our lives were transformed. And once you learn it, watch what happens.
• 0:59
  Welcome to Think It Be It the podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield.
• 1:04
  John Mitchell: And of course, I'm John Michell. So Kelly, today's topic is creating the person you want to be. And let me give a little background on this. You know, here's how our 12 minute day methodology works, you know, you create immense clarity about your life, exactly the person, you want to be exactly what you want to accomplish, and precisely how you achieve your clearly defined goals. And then you feed that to yourself every day. And that then influences your daily actions, 95% of which are unconscious, and then those upgraded to actions create the life you want. That's the methodology. But as it relates to creating clarity about the person you want to be, I don't think a lot of people understand what that means. You agree with that?
• 1:57
  Kelly Hatfield: I think to a certain extent, I think and I'm just reflecting on my own experience when we went through when you went through this with me several years ago, you know, at a 30,000 foot level. Yeah, I can give you a you know, a snapshot of what that looks like. But thinking deeply about it in relation to the things that you just mentioned. No, it feels overwhelming for a lot of people. You know, that feels overwhelming, especially now, in the time that we're in right now, where there's so many things pulling your focus and distracting you from things like this, that really matter and getting, you know, a lot of clarity around this, I find it's more and more of a challenge for people to do because we've trained ourselves to not do it.
• 2:40
  John Mitchell: Right? Well, you know, think about this, I'll bet you if you ask most people, what are your top three values? They cannot tell you what they are? Yeah, would you say that's true?
• 2:51
  Kelly Hatfield: I think it's true. I think they might get one like right out. And maybe deep in the back. They you know, but they initially struggle. They don't flow out, like I got these I know exactly what these are that I've never heard. I've never had that happen once when I
• 3:05
  John Mitchell: Right well, and and I know if someone asks you or me, we can snap them right out all three of them. Yeah, you know, I tell you what's been interesting, and maybe our listening audience will find this interesting, but you know, a couple of big things that are going on right now I think it'd be it is, is I'm writing the book on how our methodology works. And, and all of this, and I've already got it written, I'm getting it edited. And I'm gonna get it published later this year, and you can buy it on on Amazon, and we're gonna give you everything, we're gonna give you the templates, we're creating an algorithm, we got to think it'd be at app in the app stores. You know, this is something that that we you and I have never done before. Because when we created this, we had a online course a one in the form of a book, he was a online course. And I'm coming to realize, and there were reasons we did that, but but I'm coming to realize if you've got a innovative idea, it almost has to come out in the form of a book, you know, and I think, to submit, our focus was to help people but you know, we also want to make money, because, you know, you had to make it a viable business, and we didn't see how doing a book made it a viable company. But you know, I don't care about the money anymore. I just, you know, I've just fortunately at that stage my life where I don't, I don't have to make money. And so you know, it's evolved that now 10 years into this process, a book is coming out. The other thing that is really cool is creating this AI algorithm where and this is addresses what we were just talking about where people don't have clarity about the different aspects of their lives, well, you know, through the algorithm, all they got to do is answer about 40 questions, press a button at the end, and boom, the template is is customized to their unique life. And so all that clarity that they need and in how to be the person they want to be, is created right there, there with a press of a button. It's pretty cool. And I thought I would share with everybody what I have in my visualization, regarding myself. And this will give you an idea of what clarity looks like. And then once I share mine, you might match some of the things you have in yours. So with that as a preview, here's what I say to myself. In the micelle section of this. I'm a powerful creator, I visualize and speak my desire world into existence. I'm an unstoppable force of nature. As others I make every interaction personal by absolutely make it a point to get and say the first name of anyone I talked to, then it's all about Association. Once the engaged moment passes association to a friend or celebrity, then in all conversations, I say person's first name three times. I'm also inquisitive about them. I look for things to compliment people on, I make people feel good about themselves. I'm also a great listener, responsive to what I hear. I'm always polite to people. As to me, I do exactly what I say I will do with myself and others. I'm always fair with others. I'm very self aware. Also humble and self deprecating. Always tell the truth. I'm always improving as a person and as a husband. And I live my three core values. First, I always grow and improve myself. Second, I help others. Third, I savor my spectacular life. And my thinking, I'm consistently happy, rightful and confident with an INNER VOICE OF I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. I have a great sense of humor, I intentionally smile often, I live my life smart. As to my health, safety and my time, I'm articulate, I don't use curse words, stupid or idiot. In regular conversation, the alternative is profoundly at enlightened. I have the big three, my hell, my girl and the egg with the great paid for house on Lake Austin. It's an incredible, incredible environment of sights, sounds, and smells to live in every day. I savor it daily. Lastly, I meditate each workday and focus on three things I savor my day, today, I look for appreciate and create humor in life. And I make all my interactions personal, I have really have an edge in life. I live in a beautiful state of mind daily. So that's what I feed myself every day. That's seeing your life in detail in terms of the person you want to be. What's your thoughts on all that? What do you know
• 8:19
  Kelly Hatfield: I think it's though, the detail is what's so important. And you know, we've talked about this before, and I think we've talked about it in previous episodes, where through the what you're creating in your visualization, I liken it to where it's almost a movie in my mind, you know what I mean? Where I can, I can visualize me behaving that way, showing up that way all you know what I mean? And it requires a lot of detail, and clarity to do that, rather than just saying something that's a blanket, you know, that's just a general, you know, like, here are my top three values. There's the why behind it. And you know, so I think all of those things, it's the detail is where cart is where the magic happens to
• 9:05
  John Mitchell: where and you know, you got to keep in mind that the subconscious mind only responds to things that are specific. And and, you know, I've refined mine, as I know, you have to, to where, you know, when I first probably wrote it, there were things that were way too general. And so I would, you know, tweak it and get it like that. But you know, that's why like if you say to the subconscious mind, I want to be successful. It has no idea what that means. Yeah. And so it has no impact. But when you say explain what success is and how you're going to get success in it, that it it responds
• 9:45
  Kelly Hatfield: Now, I love it. And I love that we're having this conversation because I do want people who are listening to know because I remember and we talked about this, you know where you kept sending back my questionnaire to me because it wasn't detailed enough. And I was like, sheesh, you know, like, I felt detailed to me. But that was my perspective. You know, I was out here at 30,000 feet and not thinking deeply about my life. And so it took, you know, to activate that part of your brain and to really sit with yourself and be thinking about. So that's what I love about the algorithm, that it's asking you the questions and kind of doing the the initial visualization for you, you know, by answering those questions, and yeah, I think the process, it makes the process just more seamless,
• 10:38
  John Mitchell: Right? Yeah, I tell you the, the algorithm is a game changer. You know, I tell you, you remember when we did our course, and we were filming it? And this is like, what 2018 2019? Yeah, something like that. Yeah, I remember, we were filming the course. And as we were doing it, I was having this dispute with a financial advisor that I had, and he had got me into this investment that didn't turn out well. I felt like he didn't do his job. And he misrepresented some things. And so we ultimately worked out a deal where he was going to pay me 20,000 bucks. And so we had all set out to set up. And you and I are, you know, filming our course. And of course, I'm reading my visualization every day. And one of the things I'm reading is, I'm fair with everyone I deal with. And I remember getting up one day and going, you know, I'm not being fair with him, because he shared his point of view about it. And he added some valid points. And after I thought about I thought, you know, is not fair for me to take that 20,000 hours, even though he had agreed to pay it. And I remember calling you up and saying, you know, don't pay me the money. And, you know, that meant a lot to me to actually see that when you feed your values to yourself each day, you live those values, you know, yep.
• 12:12
  Kelly Hatfield: And I, what I love about that situation that you just shared, is, it's so examples like that, you know, that you just shared where there's a business interaction, you feel like you're, you know, been been wronged or misled, or whatever the case may be. Your reaction to that is an emotional one. Right? You know, like, when you're in that, you feel like somebody has slighted you, right? It's an emotional reaction. So that's what I love about the clarity and being clear about your values, is it even in those moments of emotion around something, this tethers you to your values, so whether you catch it in the moment, or whether like, to the point you just made you processed and thought about it, and then circled back with them, it helps overcome like that, again, that we're where you're in that emotional state. And the first thing, you know, your your base, you know, human response is, again, it's the emotional reaction that you have around the particular scenario. And I love that by creating this clarity. It helps override that, right?
• 13:20
  John Mitchell: Well, you know, I'm, I'm a big believer in personal responsibility and never being a victim. And so, you know, if something goes wrong in my life, is not anybody else's fault. You know, I own it. And and, you know, it's interesting in doing these algorithms, I have to I course, as you know, I'm not the most technical person in the world. No, but fortunately, Allah had to do all that, but I got to do a lot of the work in terms of what goes into the template, because a lot of the template does not change, you know, probably, I don't know, maybe only 30% of the template to boot changes, and 70% of it stays the same. And so, you know, I'm, I'm building it for four categories of people. Why? Well, three, actually, one category is for students that are seniors in college, as one category that are about to enter the real world. Then another category is for nerds, like you or me. And then the third category is for people that work for somebody. Now, that category can have two or three angles to it. One one angle would be they want to be what they just want to excel in their current job and all that. Then another one is they they want to be an entrepreneur and now they want to, you know, transition. So that's another thing. There's a third, I can't remember what the third is, but basically, those are the categories that are involved. And I see that that template reflects a maturity of someone 50 plus years old. And one of the things I think is interesting, especially when you're giving it to somebody that's 21 years old, you know, this is a maturity way beyond where they actually are. But what's cool is, if they feed that maturity, that 50 plus year old maturity to to themselves, after 21 days, they have that maturity, that's how that's how their subconscious mind will operate. And, you know, as an example, you know, I dress, self image and and social media for that group. Well, you know, they're, they're all about what everybody else thinks, yeah, no, well, that's not a good way to be. And sure, we all want to other people to like us. But boy, you cannot let your your self image be dictated by what other people think. But that's just one example of taking, you know, a maturity of a 21 year old, and adding 30 years to it. And I'm telling it, it's going to work too, because when they feed, all that, in that feed, personal responsibility, that I'm never a victim in that my self image is determined by me and not other people, and feeding to themselves that everybody is that they're dealing with is a reflection of their own genetics, plus what has come into their consciousness to this point, and that everybody's doing their best. But even though it may be, it may seem so inadequate to you, or me, you know, they're doing their best, because, hey, they're just a function of their genetics, and what's come into their consciousness. And, you know, again, that's, I didn't get all that until I was probably in my 50s.
• 17:05
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, no, it's just the wisdom, you know, that comes with life experience that they're getting at this early, earlier stage in their life, you know, they were, you're saying maturity, and that's absolutely part of it. But it is just the wisdom that comes from having lived and matured, you know, and lived the life you've lived and had the experiences that you've had. And so I think that is super meaningful. And I think if it's delivered in a way, because oftentimes people, you know, who are more mature, you know, 50 and over are trying to give advice to younger people, and it isn't sticking, it's not resonating, because the initial, you know, responses off, you know, they don't know, yeah, exactly. You know, which, by the way, doesn't matter what generation you're in. Every generation has said that about two people who are.
• 17:54
  John Mitchell: Yeah, I know. So I know that. And, you know, that is the challenge is to take, you know, I mean, especially if you're teaching in college, the challenge is to take the wisdom you have, and get them to embrace that, that wisdom. And I think in college, they're, they're sort of receptive to that. Whereas when they get into their 20s, I mean, you may be a good example of this, you know, you're fabulous, those girls, they don't even you know, if they would embrace meant that accepting your mentorship, and I'm sure some of them do, but that just because you're dealing with people, most of them are not, you know, they don't think you know, that much. You know, yeah, but you do. Yeah. But, you know, getting them to understand that you do and maybe, you know, actually applying some of the things you're sharing with them would be a good thing. But, you know, I see that the younger, you know, the as they're young, it's, it's hard for them to get it. I see it with my own stepkids, you know, in their 30s. They don't think I know a friggin thing. Really?
• 19:13
  Kelly Hatfield: So I love though, that the app and the algorithm, and it's been delivered in a way that doesn't feel like I'm telling you what to do. And that this is again, that's the beauty of what you're doing with the algorithm is, but I feel like it takes that element out of the equation because they don't feel like any, you know what I mean? This is a tool for them to use, and they're part of creating it. And you know, that baseline structure is there, but that's what I love about it. I hope that it takes away the immediate kind of response and people's instinct to push something away that is going to be helpful because either a they think they know better or be they don't know they're out of touch, you know, or whatever.
• 19:58
  John Mitchell: Well, you know, I'd say it's interesting. You know, a couple of years ago, I gave Hannah, my stepdaughter, and Charlie, her husband, I'm like, you know, I'm going to teach him this idea of setting aside time to just think two times a week. And I'm also going to teach him the organizational system that I have that really simple that where you plan your day, the night before and your time block your day. And I'm thinking, Now, come on, you know, it's one thing if you don't get think it, be it. And you know, creating the succinct articulation of your life and feeding yourself every day, okay, is fine if you don't get that, but come on, who's going to argue with being highly organized and thinking two times a week, so I put it all together, I get the binders. And I give it to nothing. They I mean, they said they were interested in it, but they, they didn't apply it, you know, and I'm like, Oh, God, you know, and not having kids my own yell, this is the first time I'd I'd really experienced the frustration of kids not doing what you wanted to do when you knew it was in their best interest. Yeah, and, you know, now, and this happens, my step son in law, got laid off from his job. And now he's looking at becoming an entrepreneur. And you know, he's 35 or 36. And, you know, he is a fabulous Dad, I love him to death AI. He's just, he's a great dad. But I'm like, you know, maybe learning to step aside and think two times a week would have been a good thing. Are you? Are you get mad now? And I doubt he is I doubt he is. But, you know, that's the frustration about it. And, and I just, and maybe maybe helped me understand this, how could people not think it would be a good idea to set aside time to think two times a week.
• 22:08
  Kelly Hatfield: And I don't even think that it is about whether somebody thinks it's a good idea or a bad idea. I think it's like any other habit that we try to create, it's the very thing that we talk about that 95% of you know, what our actions are thought, right, and eating or unconscious, that it's just that old pattern, you know, in behavior. And then we also know what the brain does when you try to, you know, adopt any kind of new change, you know, it pushes back on that, because its job is to protect you and conserve energy. And so, I think it all comes back, you know, to the science of it. You know, yeah, yeah, this sounds like a great, it comes back to the idea that we always talk about two, which is, is this a preference? You know, is having a level of success a preference? Are you committed to it? Because if you're, if you are like, yeah, it would be great, you know, to whatever the goal is, start a new business and net a million dollars, that would be great. You know, or, you know, are you committed to doing that, and then, which means you'll do whatever you need to do to make that happen, which means you'll set aside time to think like, there's a whole cascading, right, anything that takes place. And so I get your frustration, and at the same time, that I hear what you're saying, I also feel like I know why it's not happening, you know, you know, because they haven't ever done it before. And it's new. And you know what I mean? Well,
• 23:34
  John Mitchell: I know what you mean. But you know, I'm like, come on. I mean, give me a friggin break. I mean, you know, I mean, this is so friggin simple. It hurts. And, you know, for for people not to get it, you know, I'm like, help me, what is it you don't get the concept? Or is it is your yours, your desire for a higher level of success, so low, that you're not going to do anything like this as as easy as that is, you know, as somebody says, 30 minutes a session two times a week. And, and I find it tremendously fun. I know, you do, too. But I'm like, come on. I mean, you know, I think I could take in your roles and get them to understand this, you know, why can't I get 30 year olds to understand it?
• 24:29
  Kelly Hatfield: I think part of it. And I know, you know, we've talked through this topic, too, a lot, which is the level of distraction that people have in their life that anesthetizes them to being checked in, you know what I mean to their life and creating the life that they want. They're just on the hamster wheel. Yeah, you know what I mean? And I think that's also part of it is just the amount of input that people have. They're in a totally reactive mode. They've trained themselves to be in a reactive mode and think in 15 Second, little blocks of time. And so I think that's also what it has to be overcome with 30. And younger and because you and I, and you have to think about this too, from, like, I didn't like, this level of technology, social media and stuff didn't come into play in my life until I was in my late 30s. Right. I mean, on like, LinkedIn was just starting, you know, when I started my first business, you know, it, you know, and, and wasn't much of anything, we didn't even understand what all of this was, you know. So, I think that there are obstacles and things that have happened, with our brains through social media, and all of those things that have changed how we think. And and you know what I mean, in in those little 15 second spots, where it's like, boop, boop, boop, you know, so like, I never had to overcome that I could sit, I could go to the grocery store without having my with me. I couldn't, I didn't have phones. You know what I mean?
• 25:59
  John Mitchell: Well, they barely had electricity when you were younger, did I? Watch it?
• 26:06
  Kelly Hatfield: No, we were we carry boats around in bags. You know, when I was in my early was big. You know, like, remember those huge, clunky phones? That word? Right. But point being, you know, I think there are some things to from our perspective, that are a challenge for us to understand, because they weren't part of our, our world and what formed us as humanity, like they are the extent you mentioned earlier about social media, and people tying their identity and value as a person and try to get their validation from what people think about them online. That was part of my world, ever. Oh, yeah. Okay. So I think it's, you know, I think that's part of this, and to also why it's hard, sometimes for us to make the connection, because that was never part of our world, we haven't experienced that. And so anyway,
• 26:55
  John Mitchell: You know, I always see that I get frustrated with people, because I'm looking at it from my standpoint, and then I'll stamp myself out it go, Okay, look at it from just what you're talking about, from the other people's point of view. And, you know, I realized that think it be it is really, for somebody that's in their 40s or 50s. And, you know, my client, Steve Pendergrast, who, who is relatively recent client, and he is he is sharp as a tack. And he's, like, 33 years old. And I was telling him this, in fact, I think I was showing him parts of the, my book, and he says, you know, you got to, in that comment that this is for people in their 40s and 50s. I said, you know, the reason for that is that people have got to live life, and see the doing it, the normal way, doesn't work that get up and wing it, approach that and work for a divorce for the creating the average life, but didn't work for the exceptional life. And until people sort of get that and get that, oh, that, that I don't want the average life. And I want the exceptional life. And the regular way of doing life doesn't work. So why don't I try this? Until you get to that point? You know, You've almost got to be in you're in your 40s or 50s. And he says, Well, what about us? What about me? You know, I'm, I'm 33. And he says, You ought to put it in there that in the book that for you that are under 40. I forget how he put it, but something to the effect of if you're smart enough to get it at this younger age, then all the better. But I thought that was a great point.
• 28:46
  Kelly Hatfield: Definitely. And I think this is I do, we've talked about this before people being in enough pain, this coming into their life at the right time, you know, where they're frustrated or overwhelmed or irritated that they're not reaching their potential or hitting a, like, that's where I find that this resonates most. But like everything you learn with this, like I know, I've said this to you a million times, I wish I would have known this when I was in my 20s. Well, life would have been a lot different. And, you know, I made it a lot harder than it needed to be, you know. And so I love that you're adding that into your book, because you don't want to click you know, you don't want to shut the door or for people who are reading it. If this resonates with, you know what I mean?
• 29:30
  John Mitchell: Well, and you know, I have a girl that's 20 years old that I met her she works for she's a student at the University of Texas sophomore, and I met her one day I went to the basketball practice. And it's funny, you know, I go there, the coach invites me and I was also teaching thinking be it to one of the players. And so I go, and I'm on there, and they all sort of Go at the start of the practice, go watch film. So I start shooting hoops, you know, at the big Coliseum here in Austin and she comes up and she starts grabbing the balls and feeding back to me and she doesn't know who the heck I am, you know. And she's probably even felt sorry for the poor schlub that could barely hit the rim. But, you know, over the next year, basically, she's evolved to become my assistant, she learned, think it be it and, and, you know, she's got maturity way beyond her years. In fact, she brought her boyfriend over to my house. And we went out and had, you know, went out on the boat. She wanted to introduce her boyfriend to me, and she, she's just cute as a bad laugh. And he is adorable. She was she can have any guys she wants. And, and, and I'm like, I was, she was to go to lunch with me this next week to talk about, you know what I think about the boyfriend, guys love it. And I'm like, now my, you know, don't hold it against him that she's sort of dead. Like, he's not more ambitious. I'm like, you know, she knows exactly what she wants to do. But that's almost too much as for most most college students, but you know, the point is sharing that with you is that she, when she sort of learned about think a bit, she was like, oh, yeah, yeah, this is, I gotta learn this. Yeah, well, that's way beyond what most 20 year olds are. And you know, interestingly, because that's what I'm teaching to the 550 athletes at the University of Texas, it's not their choice to do to learn think it be it? Yeah, it's the athletic directors choice to create this course and make them take it. Right. And, and that's the beauty of it, you know, you whip college students, especially when they're forced by the athletic director, you know, you can give them what they need, even though they don't know what the hell they do need.
• 32:05
  Kelly Hatfield: Exactly, yeah. Give them what they need, even if they Yeah, they don't have any clue what they need in life. I love it. Right.
• 32:13
  John Mitchell: Whereas in the commercial space, they got to select it, they got to be smart enough to select it. And you know, I see that that's only 2% of the population. Yeah, and so in and I'm, of course, now have evolved to being bass perfectly fine. I love the 2%. I love the 2% that wants to be the exception, because you know, the 98% are not going to buy into this idea of feeding the succinct articulation of their life to themselves each day. They're doing just which, what you talked about where, you know, they're just gliding through life, and they're just on this hamster wheel. Well, great. Y'all do that you 98% do that. And us 2% that want to have the exceptional life who are going to do life a whole lot different.
• 33:08
  Kelly Hatfield: Exactly.
• 33:12
  John Mitchell: Well, anything else to add to this fascinating conversation?
• 33:16
  Kelly Hatfield: I don't think so. I think we've just about covered it.
• 33:22
  John Mitchell: Okay, well until next time, we will see you.
• 33:29
  Kelly Hatfield: Thanks for listening today. If you've had your own aha moment from today's episode, send me or John an email. We'd love to share your epiphany with our audience. So email us at kelly@thinkitbeit.com or John@thinkitbeit.com. In the meantime, live the exceptional life