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Become Braver Than Your Excuses (S5) S33:E6 Thursday · Inspirations for Your Life

0:24
Well there, hello everyone.
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Welcome to the ever-popular Inspirations for Your
0:29
Life show.
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It is so great to be with you
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today.
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It is Thursday, August 13th, if you're watching
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us live.
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Really do appreciate that.
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If this is your very first time joining
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me, I'd like to take the opportunity to
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say welcome and thank you.
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If you've been here one time, five times,
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ten, a hundred or more, or maybe even
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lost track of the count, I'd like to
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say welcome and thank you.
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But I also want to say something else.
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I want to say welcome back.
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It's always great to have people that enjoy
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the quality and content of the show that
1:01
I produce here.
1:02
So really do appreciate that.
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Thank you so much for being here.
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Thank you for deciding to make this part
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of your daily life.
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You can't know how much that makes me
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feel so great inside, just knowing that people
1:17
enjoy the quality of my content and knowing
1:19
that I'm helping them become basically a little
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better than they were before.
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That makes me feel like so very, very
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good.
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So I am grateful for that.
1:29
And let's kick off this show.
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All right, everyone.
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This is a great master topic this week.
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Stop waiting for your life to change.
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Yes, stop waiting for your life to change.
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It is Series 5.
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It is Show 33.
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And today's granular topic.
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Are you ready for today's granular topic?
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It's one that you probably heard many times,
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but you probably try to kick under the
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rug.
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All right.
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Become braver than your excuses.
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Let me say that again.
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Become braver than your excuses.
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Series 5, Show 33, episode number 6.
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Again, it is Thursday.
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Welcome, everyone, once again, to the ever-popular
2:10
Inspirations for Your Life show.
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If you're hungry, you're thirsty, feel free to
2:14
go grab something.
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Come on back to the show.
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I'm John C.
2:18
Morley, a serial entrepreneur.
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Yes.
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Engineer, marketing specialist, video producer, podcast host, coach,
2:28
keynote speaker, graduate student at Montclair State University.
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And so grateful to be a published author.
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Yes.
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Passionate learner, too.
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Really enjoy that moment.
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Have you ever given yourself a perfectly reasonable
2:46
explanation for why you shouldn't do something, only
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to realize later that the real reason was
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fear?
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False evidence appearing real.
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Fear of rejection.
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Fear of embarrassment.
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Fear of being wrong.
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Fear of acceptance.
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Fear of walking into a room where you
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don't know anyone.
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Fear of trying something that might not work.
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Excuses can sound intelligent.
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They can even sound responsible.
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But sometimes they're simply fear trying to keep
3:21
us comfortable.
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So a lot of you are great at
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making excuses.
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And then they wonder why they're not getting
3:28
anywhere.
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You know why that is?
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That's because, for whatever reason, you are just
3:36
trying to manufacture ways to get out of
3:39
what you need to do.
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I think that's an important thing to realize.
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So today, I'm talking about becoming braver than
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those excuses that you have in the back
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of your mind, or for some in the
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front of their mind.
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Not being fearless.
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Braver.
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Because you see, courage doesn't require the absence
3:59
of fear.
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It requires deciding that fear doesn't get to
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control what happens next in your life.
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That's it.
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Let's get into the 30 points that I
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hope will make this a lot easier for
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you.
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Number one, excuses often disguise fear.
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Yes, they're just a fancy suit.
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An excuse may sound like logic.
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But look underneath it.
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Sometimes, I don't have time really means I'm
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afraid to try this.
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Identify what's actually driving the decision.
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I don't want to try lime beans.
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I don't want to try liver.
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Number two, catch yourself rationalizing.
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We can become incredibly creative when explaining why
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we shouldn't do something uncomfortable.
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Listen carefully to the stories you're telling yourself.
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This is so very viable.
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Number three, courage can coexist with fear.
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You don't have to eliminate fear 100%
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before taking action.
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That's a misnomer that we've been taught.
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Courage means acknowledging fear and moving responsibly anyway.
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Number four, stop protecting your comfort.
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Comfort has value, but protecting it constantly can
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make your world, well, seem smaller.
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Growth often asks you to temporarily exchange comfort
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for possibility.
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Number five, question every convenient excuse.
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When excuse rears its head and appears and
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something becomes difficult, challenge it.
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Don't just let it go.
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Ask whether it's a legitimate limitation.
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Okay, that's number one.
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Or simply a convenient escape route.
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That's another important one.
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Number six, say what you're actually afraid of.
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When we speak it, it actually makes us
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realize, hey, this might not actually be as
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bad as it seems.
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Fear becomes easier to understand when you name
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it.
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Are you afraid of rejection, failure, criticism, embarrassment,
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et cetera, or uncertainty?
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Be specific what it is.
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When you spell it out and you talk
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about it, it becomes more rational and you're
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like, well, wait a minute.
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Maybe this isn't that bad.
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Number seven, courage grows through the use of
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it.
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It's like a muscle.
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You build your courage muscle.
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Courage works like that and it's also a
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skill you develop.
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Every time you act despite discomfort, you create
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evidence that you're capable of doing it again,
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again, again, again, and again.
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It's just a lot of people don't take
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the step because, well, their partner, significant other,
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or their friend says, well, I don't know
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if I can do this.
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They say that.
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I'm going to say it puts that fear
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in their head, the fear that they don't
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think they're worthy, the fear that they don't
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think that they actually can do it.
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That's a very important thing for us to
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realize.
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We have to realize it and then act
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upon it.
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Number eight, take calculated risks.
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Being courageous doesn't mean being reckless.
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Consider the consequences, understand the risk, prepare appropriately,
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and then decide whether the opportunity is worth
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pursuing at all.
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Number nine, let yourself be seen trying.
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There's no harm in trying and if you
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fail, nobody became an expert doing something the
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first time.
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You don't have to be an expert to
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start, but you have to start to become
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an expert.
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Or what a lot of people say is
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you don't have to be great to start,
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but you have to start to become great.
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You won't always look polished while learning.
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Allow people to see you developing.
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It's humbling.
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Experimenting, practicing, and improving is the key.
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Number 10, stop fearing embarrassment.
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It's overrated.
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Embarrassment feels enormous in the moment, but it
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usually passes quickly.
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Don't allow a temporary feeling to block a
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potentially valuable experience.
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That's key.
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Number 11, risk being misunderstood.
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You see, not everyone will understand every decision
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you make, and that's okay.
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Listen to constructive feedback, but don't require universal
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understanding before moving forward or universal acceptance.
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Well, my friend didn't like it, this person
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liked it, or my parents didn't like it.
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That shouldn't be your barometer as to whether
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you should move forward with it.
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Number 12, ask even when the answer could
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be no.
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People don't like to ask questions when they're
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afraid the answer might be no.
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It might be yes.
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Ask for the meeting.
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Ask about the opportunity.
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Ask the question.
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A possible no shouldn't prevent you from discovering
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whether the answer might actually be a yes
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or it could become a yes with more
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conversation.
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Number 13, walk into unfamiliar rooms.
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Now, I'm not telling you to do what
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wedding crashers did, where they go to a
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wedding and they basically crash it, and they
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say they know the bride or the groom,
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and they really don't.
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Walk into unfamiliar rooms.
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Number 13, what do I mean by this?
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So new rooms contain new ideas, new relationships,
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opportunities, and even experiences.
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Don't let unfamiliarity automatically become a reason to
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stay outside the room, okay?
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You might say, gee, I don't fit in
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here, or I don't belong here.
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Well, that's a perception.
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It's absolutely a perception in your life.
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Number 14, speak when you normally stay quiet.
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I learned this the other day, actually.
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I was at a IT technology by invitational
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only expo.
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It was like, I think, I don't know,
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thousands of people applied, and they let 500
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come.
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They basically vetted 500 of us that were
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invited from the request.
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And this attorney, amazing attorney, he said a
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couple things, but one thing he said is
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don't stay quiet.
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The reason most businesses, now, he said ITs
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and MSPs, managed service providers, get sued is
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because they stay quiet.
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If you have something, don't be quiet.
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You don't have to speak, but you have
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to put it in writing.
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Your service agreement, your manual, you have to
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put things in writing so people have them
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accessible.
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If you have something valuable to contribute, contribute
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it.
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Don't hold it back.
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Courage can be as simple as raising your
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hand, sharing an idea, all right?
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Number 15, are you guys ready for number
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15?
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Is this, how is all this sitting with
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you guys?
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Does this make sense?
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Is this hitting home or no?
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Number 15, attempt something beyond your reputation.
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That sounds scary, doesn't it?
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It really sounds scary.
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Don't become trapped by what people already know
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you for.
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Maybe they know you as the greatest soccer
11:41
player or they know you as the guy
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who volunteers or the lady that volunteers.
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You're allowed to learn new things, enter new
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spaces, create new chapters, and develop abilities people
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haven't seen from you.
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I'll give you an example.
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Many of you guys know I'm a keynote
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speaker, motivationalist, engineer, and a lot of other
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things.
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Well, one of the elected officials of town
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that knows me very well came to a
12:04
presentation that I gave.
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And he was very surprised and very impressed.
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And he's like, John, he's like, I never
12:12
knew that you were a well-articulated speaker.
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I said, well, thank you very much.
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He says, now I know something else that
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you do.
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I said, thank you, I appreciate that.
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So sometimes you'll surprise people by sharing something
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they don't know.
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Number 16, stop defending old limitations.
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People have been doing it for years and
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it just causes us to have havoc.
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It never gets us where we wanna be.
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So I wanna say these words to you.
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Be careful about repeating statements.
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What do I mean by that?
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I'm gonna be specific for you.
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I've never been good at that.
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I'm always a failure at.
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I never make any money at.
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I'm always broke.
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I'm always getting roped into things I don't
13:02
want.
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You see, yesterday's limitation doesn't automatically deserve a
13:07
permanent place in tomorrow.
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You could change that verbiage.
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I'm getting better financially.
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I'm becoming more educated each day.
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I'm getting better and better at this skill
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each day.
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I'm learning how to say no and yes
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to myself to preserve my time and my
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own self-worth.
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You see how you could change the conversation?
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That's a very, very powerful thing, but people
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don't do it.
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Number 17, make courage practical.
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What do I mean by that?
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That's a very weird one, but it's one
13:44
that a lot of people in life, they
13:48
get stuck on.
13:49
They get stuck on it because someone said,
13:52
oh, you're never really good at this or
13:53
this is the way it has to be.
13:57
Courage isn't only about, let's say, dramatic moments.
14:01
It can mean making a phone call, introducing
14:05
yourself, asking a question, admitting a mistake or
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beginning something new, forgiving someone.
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I think because of a lot of people's
14:16
egos, they don't go down this pathway.
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They don't go down that pathway.
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That's why many people are not successful, not
14:25
because they can't be successful, but because they
14:29
believe they can't be successful.
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Number 18, guys, practice being uncomfortable.
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Discomfort becomes, how can I say this, less
14:41
intimidating.
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When you stop treating it as an emergency,
14:47
put yourself in manageable situations that stretch you.
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Number 19, don't let rejection define you.
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A rejection tells you that one opportunity didn't
15:00
work.
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It doesn't determine your value, intelligence, ability or
15:07
future of who you are or who you
15:10
are becoming.
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And I can't tell you how many times
15:15
I see people and they're like, I'm going
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to give you a perfect example.
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So there was a story about this very,
15:22
very powerful tiger.
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Now it's a very powerful tiger.
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But guess what?
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The tiger is not so powerful as you
15:34
would think.
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You see, when the tiger was a little
15:37
baby, the tiger was staked to a stake.
15:44
I know some of you heard this as
15:45
an elephant, so either one works.
15:49
So when this little baby tiger, or the
15:54
elephant, whatever you prefer, was tied to the
15:56
stake, it couldn't break free.
16:00
The stake was bigger than it.
16:03
It tried a few times, gave up, tried
16:06
again.
16:07
After three or four times trying, it gave
16:09
up.
16:10
And it put the condition in the tiger
16:12
and the elephant's head that I can't do
16:14
this.
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Now we know elephants are so big, they
16:17
can hurt and kill people accidentally, hopefully.
16:20
Even tigers, right?
16:21
They're very dangerous.
16:23
They could squash that stake.
16:25
But you see, because they put that thought
16:27
in their head, that language, that programming said,
16:34
I can't do it.
16:35
So we never tried again.
16:39
Sometimes we're at the point in life where
16:41
we're not ready to do it.
16:43
So we have to keep working at it.
16:44
But don't give up because you try later,
16:46
you're going to have more resource, you're going
16:47
to have more power.
16:49
That's the key.
16:51
But so many people try a couple of
16:52
times, and then they just give up because
16:56
they figure, well, there's no point.
16:58
An elephant could easily crush, let's say, a
17:03
four inch or an eight inch stake or
17:05
a several foot stake, right?
17:07
It could crush people.
17:09
So that's important for us to remember, like
17:12
the elephant and the tiger, that if we
17:14
give up and we don't try again, we
17:16
condition our brain to believe there's no reason
17:20
to try because we can't do it.
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Number 20, recover quickly from embarrassment.
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You said the wrong thing.
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Get over it.
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Something didn't work out.
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You felt awkward.
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Get over it.
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Learn what you can.
17:33
Smile when appropriate and keep moving.
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Again, get over it.
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It's a blip in the road.
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It's a bump you went over.
17:40
Number 21, replace excuses with experiments.
17:44
Instead of declaring that something won't work, test
17:48
it responsibly, OK?
17:51
Let's say an experiment gives reality the opportunity
17:56
to answer your assumptions.
18:00
Number 22, become curious about fear.
18:03
Instead of immediately running from fear, examine it.
18:07
Ask what it's protecting, what it's predicting, and
18:11
whether those predictions are actually supported.
18:15
Number 23, challenge one limitation at a time.
18:20
You don't need to become fearless overnight.
18:25
Pick one limitation and challenge it with one
18:29
meaningful action.
18:31
That's it, guys.
18:35
Challenge it with one meaningful action.
18:37
You see, your thought from the inspired wisdom
18:41
that you have wants you to take an
18:44
action.
18:45
Oh, I'll take it later.
18:46
They never do, and therefore, they never get
18:49
anywhere.
18:50
Number 24, refuse to shrink yourself.
18:53
You can get big.
18:54
Don't allow yourself to get small.
18:56
Don't continually make yourself smaller than you feel
19:00
you are just to remain comfortable, to avoid
19:02
criticism.
19:02
I said this one time to an elected
19:06
official.
19:07
I said to him, because I guess I
19:10
was overpowering him.
19:11
I didn't realize it.
19:12
He saw me as a threat.
19:13
I wasn't looking for his position.
19:15
But he didn't like I was getting all
19:16
the limelight.
19:18
And I said to him, after he asked
19:20
the question, John, when are you ever going
19:21
to quit?
19:22
When are you going to give up?
19:23
And I said to him, sir, I'm going
19:25
to quit when a little baby boy or
19:27
a little baby girl tells their parents they
19:31
don't want to walk anymore.
19:34
That was a very powerful thing I said,
19:38
okay?
19:41
And when I asked him the question, I
19:44
said, I know you have two kids.
19:49
I said, tell me.
19:50
So one's in college, one's where.
19:52
And I said, I want to have a
19:53
question for you if I may.
19:54
When did either of them tell you they
19:57
don't want to learn to walk anymore?
20:00
He paused for a few moments.
20:02
He said the word never.
20:04
I said, sir, that's exactly when I'm going
20:07
to give up trying to.
20:09
He goes, John, you're arrogant.
20:10
Now get the blank blank out of my
20:11
office.
20:13
And that's what I want to leave you
20:14
with.
20:15
Never show up with less than your A
20:17
game.
20:18
Because if you do, someone else will.
20:20
Give your abilities room to develop.
20:23
You're an A player.
20:24
Just practice till you get there.
20:26
Number 25, courage changes your options.
20:31
When fear controls your decisions, many possibilities disappear
20:35
automatically.
20:37
Courage puts some of those possibilities back on
20:40
the table again.
20:42
That's powerful, guys.
20:43
You see, brave decisions, which we're talking about
20:45
today, reveal new pathways.
20:49
You cannot always see what lies beyond a
20:52
courageous decision.
20:54
You can't always see where you're standing or
20:55
sitting right now.
20:57
Sometimes taking the stop and step reveals options
21:02
you didn't know existed.
21:04
Possibilities that you couldn't fathom.
21:08
Amazing, right?
21:10
Number 27, give yourself evidence that you can.
21:14
I celebrate my small wins every day, even
21:17
my big wins.
21:18
And those motivate me to do more wins.
21:22
Confidence becomes stronger when it's supported by experience.
21:27
These are powerful, powerful things.
21:31
And you can really make a difference in
21:34
your life.
21:34
I mean, really, really make a difference.
21:37
I think that's important, guys.
21:40
Every difficult thing that you handle becomes evidence
21:44
you can point to the next time fear
21:47
appears.
21:48
Look what I did.
21:49
Look how I managed that.
21:51
Number 28, become stronger than your explanations are.
21:55
Because your explanations are going to try to
21:57
short-circuit you and give you excuses and
21:59
just don't go down that way.
22:01
You're stronger than your belief.
22:03
Your explanations may be understandable.
22:06
So just allow those explanations to keep you
22:09
on a positive track.
22:12
Your belief is the only switch from you
22:15
not achieving it.
22:16
But they shouldn't automatically determine your future.
22:20
Just because you're somewhere now doesn't mean you're
22:23
somewhere later.
22:24
I'll give you an example.
22:25
I've got a brother, DK 1201 label reel,
22:29
right?
22:29
Just because it's empty now doesn't mean the
22:33
spool's going to stay empty forever.
22:34
I'm eventually going to replace it.
22:36
I've got to take action.
22:37
I've got to go order it, right?
22:41
Ask yourself whether you're explaining reality or defending
22:44
avoidance.
22:46
You don't have to tell me.
22:47
But if you're avoiding avoidance, then you're probably
22:51
avoiding success.
22:54
Number 29, your excuses don't deserve control.
22:59
An excuse may deserve consideration.
23:01
It doesn't automatically deserve authority, which many people
23:05
put it in that category.
23:06
You still get to decide what happens next.
23:09
Of course you do.
23:10
Number 30, our last point for today.
23:14
Choose courage before comfort.
23:16
I know that's hard for a lot of
23:18
people.
23:19
This takes you back to the time when
23:20
I was at the hospital.
23:21
I broke my tip and fib.
23:23
And I was close to having a major
23:25
surgery.
23:27
And I believed in my heart that I
23:30
didn't need surgery.
23:32
I reached out to my attorney.
23:33
I knew it wasn't a compound fracture.
23:36
But I believed.
23:39
And when everything said no, I said yes.
23:43
And you know what the outcome was?
23:45
You don't need surgery.
23:47
Comfort asks you to stay where everything is
23:50
familiar.
23:51
I was uncomfortable at that moment, but I
23:53
had to act.
23:56
Courage asks you to discover what might exist
24:00
beyond it.
24:01
When the opportunity matters, choose the path that
24:04
allows you to grow.
24:06
Not the one that keeps you back.
24:09
Even though it's going to be uncomfortable, you'll
24:12
be able to learn from it.
24:13
And next time that will be easier.
24:15
Being brave doesn't mean you never feel nervous,
24:17
guys, in closing.
24:18
It doesn't mean rejection stops hurting.
24:21
No.
24:22
It doesn't mean embarrassment suddenly becomes enjoyable.
24:26
That's not the case.
24:27
And it certainly doesn't mean taking reckless risks.
24:32
Being brave means fear is present, but it
24:36
isn't driving.
24:38
Think about one thing you've been explaining away.
24:42
Maybe you're trying to convince yourself and others
24:44
that you made the right choice.
24:47
Maybe you should look at that decision again.
24:49
Maybe you told yourself you're not ready.
24:52
Okay.
24:53
Maybe you think you need more confidence.
24:56
Maybe you're worried someone will say no to
25:00
you.
25:00
Maybe you don't want to look inexperienced.
25:05
Ask yourself one important question.
25:09
Is this a genuine limitation or is this
25:12
a fear giving me convenient explanation?
25:15
People love to get comfortable.
25:18
But when we get comfortable, we miss the
25:20
boat.
25:21
We miss the plane for our trip to
25:24
success.
25:25
Then, ladies and gentlemen, if you're tired of
25:27
that, challenge it.
25:29
Make the call.
25:30
Ask the question.
25:32
Enter the room.
25:35
Share the idea.
25:37
Try something unfamiliar for once.
25:41
Let yourself be seen learning.
25:45
You might succeed.
25:47
You might hear a no.
25:49
You might feel uncomfortable.
25:52
You might discover that you need to adjust.
25:57
But whatever happens, ladies and gentlemen, you'll have
26:00
something far more useful than just another excuse
26:04
you fired off.
26:06
You'll have experience.
26:08
Experience gives you evidence.
26:12
Ladies and gentlemen, I am John Seymour, a
26:14
serial entrepreneur.
26:15
And I thank you so much for choosing
26:16
to join me for another amazing episode of
26:19
Inspirations for Your Life.
26:21
And I want you to know, everyone, that
26:23
your excuses may explain why something feels difficult.
26:29
But they don't deserve control over your future.
26:33
If that's what's happening to you, that's why
26:36
the boat of success keeps taking off without
26:39
you.
26:40
Become braver than your excuses.
26:44
Stronger than your explanations and limitations.
26:47
And choose courage before comfort.
26:50
I'm not going to tell you that this
26:53
is going to be the easiest thing in
26:54
the world.
26:54
It's going to be hard.
26:56
But it's going to become easier over time.
27:00
We choose excuses because, well, we fear.
27:06
False evidence appearing real.
27:07
We fear what others will think.
27:09
We feel failure.
27:11
But you know what also we fear?
27:13
We fear becoming a great success.
27:16
Yeah.
27:18
That's something that I never would have believed
27:21
many years ago.
27:22
But that's the reason a lot of people
27:23
don't succeed is they fear success.
27:28
People love to be comfortable, right?
27:30
In the wintertime, they want to be nice
27:32
and warm.
27:33
In the summertime, they want to be nice
27:34
and cold.
27:34
When you get something that's uncomfortable, people resist.
27:42
They pull back.
27:45
And they stop communicating.
27:48
Because in their mind, it's not open for
27:52
negotiation.
27:53
Ladies and gentlemen, have yourself a great rest
27:55
of your day or evening.
27:56
And remember, become braver.
27:58
And you'll become a success.
28:02
Take care, everyone, and check out BelieveMeAchieve.com.
28:31
BelieveMeAchieve.com