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Transcript

Not Yet Ripened · Infinitely Precious

• 0:00
  Intro: Welcome to the infinitely precious podcast produced by infinitely precious LLC. Your host is James Henry. Remember, you are infinitely precious and unconditionally loved for the gift you already are.
• 0:12
  James: Hello, beloved. It's me, James, and it's good to be with you for another episode of the Infinitely Precious podcast. I'm James, and it's a delight to be with you as we companion together on this journey inside and outside into the world. There are sometimes in the journey of life when things are not yet ripened, not yet ready to be said. And Mondays are the day I sit down to do these podcasts for you.
• 0:52
  And today was one of those days when nothing has quite ripened or is ready to say. So rather than not say anything, I thought I might talk a little bit about what it looks like when things aren't yet ready to be said, when we're seeking inner clarity, when we're not on that constant treadmill that demands production, or when we are on that treadmill that wants us to produce. I have set my own pattern for the Infinitely Precious podcast. I hope it's helpful to you. It is the one that has worked for me so far.
• 1:36
  There was a time when I could do two of these episodes a week. One episode a week is about what ripens in me now. But even when it's just one, I know each week as I move towards the Monday when I record the Infinitely Precious podcast, I know that I want to be able to say something to you for this journey. Something about our journey together, something about being companions, something that we might glean together, speak into the space in ways that hopefully might bring reassurance to you and encouragement to me, both at the same time. That's after all the purpose of what I do here at the Infinitely Precious podcast on a weekly basis.
• 2:31
  But there are weeks like this week when I come up I don't want to say come up empty because I'm not empty. There are lots of things that are sort of happening in my internal spiritual journey, external spiritual journey. There are lots of things happen, but none of them have quite ripened to a place where I'm ready to speak. Ripening kind of rises up sometimes and gives you a sense of clarity about the thing that you feel like it's time to talk about or it's a right timing for yourself. And for me, the things that are all going on are still just going on.
• 3:18
  So, what do we do in moments like that? Well, first of all, I don't want to think of this weekly time together as James, you've got to produce something. I don't want this recording that I'm sitting in front of right now to be all about the production. At the same time, I'd like to believe that even when I don't have a clear presentation for this time together. Some might question whether any of them are always clear, but when I don't have a clear direction or presentation for a day, is that an invitation to sit silently?
• 4:12
  What do we do in the moments when we're still ripening and this is not fully ripe yet? When nothing is inviting itself into speech to be spoken into this time. And what I would say is those are really ripe moments, rich moments to sit back and just appreciate that things are still going on. Some of you may live under some kind of deadline, folks who are listening to this, and you may say James, whether you realize it or not, you're living under a deadline even if you don't produce it on Monday, you have to produce it on Tuesday so it can drop on Wednesday. And yes, that's an honest reality.
• 5:05
  Those pieces rise up in me. There is a desire to be in conversation, but there's a difference between being in conversation and sharing what's going on and having a particular topic about which to share. There is a particular topic. It's about what is going on in the moments when we're waiting to be ripe. What is happening when clarity hasn't yet come?
• 5:38
  And what do we do about that? Can we be at peace with that? And so as I sat down today to record the Infinitely Precious podcast, you know some of my questions that were rising up inside of me had to do with, am I doing this just to produce something so there's something to drop on Wednesday? Because who knows if I'll have time tomorrow, the rhythms of our lives are what they are and one never knows what tomorrow will hold. And I have the space today to make the recording.
• 6:09
  Is this purely out of pressure to produce? So I had to sit with that and feel what was rising inside of me. Is this purely about producing or is there something other happening? And it seemed to me as I began to decide about whether I would start up the recording for today or not, that one of the things that rose in me is that this is not a time that is unique to me. A time when we're waiting for something to come to fruition within, when we're still churning on some topics, some thoughts, and we're waiting for clarity but no clarity has come, that is something I believe we share in common.
• 7:04
  There are times when people ask for an answer right now, we don't have the final answer yet. The best we can give is what we have right now, where we are right now, which is often to say, I'm not sure where I am with this right now. I'm still working on some of the pieces that go into this. And for some people that's not an acceptable answer, they want an answer. So, what do we do in moments like that?
• 7:40
  Do we spend time talking about the uncertainty of what we are producing and what is meant to be produced? And is it about the drive to produce or is there something more that happens and ferments deep within even before we're ready to produce? Is there a discipline to production? And is it an absence of discipline not to have an answer? I would say the answer to that question is it's not a lack of discipline.
• 8:17
  It is allowing the process to work within. There are deadlines sometimes in our lives and we have to decide if that deadline is important enough, perhaps it's a deadline for producing a job, work for a job so we can keep the job. I know for instance for myself, every Sunday morning I need to have something to say what is rising in me about the scripture texts that I'll be talking about because that's part of my work as a pastor in real life and I know that needs to be there. I know that to be part of a staff where the music person would like to know my themes far enough in advance that they can select music to go with it, they can select anthems for the choir to sing to go with it. That being a part of that team means I do have a need to produce something.
• 9:15
  You know, office administrator who produces the weekly program for people to follow needs to know some things in advance so that they can produce those things. It's not just about me, it's about others around me and I'm part of a team. So as much as I can produce, it's helpful. So it's not an either or, it's a both and. I know that for instance I can put out a theme, themes out until Easter right now, and we're right at the beginning of the Lenten season, we're a month out, more than a month out from Easter.
• 10:02
  To put this material out there now is to say this is where I think I'll be, this is the theme that I'm going to work with, what exactly is going to emerge from that theme when I actually get up to talk on that Sunday morning is what's going to emerge on that Sunday morning. But this is my best projection. Sometimes that's the best you've got. It's not the final work product. It's not the final produced product.
• 10:29
  It is what you have right now. Somebody needs that right now. You have to give that. But as other things, your own sense of who you are, your sense of who God is, your sense of how we're related to each other, what part you play in this vast and infinite universe of which we're a part, those are things that we let percolate for a while, wonder about, determine how best to speak into those spaces, and if we're ready to speak or not. About those things, we need to be clear, to be open.
• 11:15
  So, maybe right now you have the answers that you need. For me right now, I'm driven by more questions than answers and it's an okay place to be. If you find yourself in this place, particularly when it comes to issues of how you or who you identify as you, where you fit in this larger picture as an image of God, as a piece of the infinite, as a manifestation of what matters. If you're still figuring that out, it's okay. It's okay.
• 11:59
  But we do engage life. So there's no clear answer. I realize now I'm coming to the end of this podcast, no clear answer. Which in some ways leaves us back where we began. Listen for the ripening within, listen for the questions that want to be asked, and if there aren't any right now, it is okay.
• 12:27
  You have a disciplined life, perhaps that's related to work, and you have a more open process life where while you might want an answer right now, you don't always get what you want. So you have to ride with it. That's okay too. No matter what, no matter where you're walking in life, remember first of all you're not defined by whatever mistakes may have come before, mistakes you make right now, you're not defined by those. What you are is infinitely precious.
• 13:14
  What you are is unconditionally loved for the gift you already are. Be mindful of that and be where you are right now. Thanks for joining me. Until the next time.