Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #958 Are You Over Sleepovers?

Transcript

#958 Are You Over Sleepovers? · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just answers.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Me Now, good day.
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: My name stocks Justin collse some I'm here with my
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  Speaker 3: wife and mum to our six kids, Kylie, missus Happy Families.
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: We're starting a new segment on the Happy Families podcast
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  Speaker 3: once a month.
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  Speaker 4: We're going to be asking is it just me?
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: Is it just me who's worried about or is it
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: just me who's going crazy because of Or is it
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  Speaker 3: just me because I'm neurotic?
• 0:30
  Speaker 4: Is it just me? Is the name of the segment
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  Speaker 4: and Kylie today? Or is it just me?
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Is all about sleepovers?
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  Speaker 5: Is it just me?
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  Speaker 1: Or are sleepovers a really bad idea?
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  Speaker 3: So we're going to dive into that, but we wanted
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: to ask you first. Facebook blew up when we asked
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: this question. This is a provocative topic. People have strong
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: opinions about sleepovers, for both good and bad, for fairly
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: clear and obvious reasons.
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  Speaker 4: I think this is what some of you said.
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  Speaker 2: Hi, my name is Joe. I'm calling from Kingscliff. My
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: daughter last night, who's fifty, how to sleepover with a friend.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: I discovered that she had switched her location service off,
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: and she wouldn't pick a phone up. I came to
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  Speaker 2: light that she's gone to a teenage hangout in a
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: park in Burleigh. When I called the mother of the
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: friend that she was staying with, she gave me the
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: impression that it wasn't her responsibility and it was my problem.
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  Speaker 2: I'm curious to know who is liable there and who
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: should really be overlooking everything.
• 1:29
  Speaker 5: Hi. My name is Marie and I'm from Melton, Victoria.
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  Speaker 5: I am a mum to two small boys, four years
• 1:37
  Speaker 5: old and two years old, and I'm also a teacher
• 1:39
  Speaker 5: to high school students. I have mixed feelings because as
• 1:43
  Speaker 5: a teacher, I teach a lot of disadvantaged students. A
• 1:48
  Speaker 5: lot of my students have various forms of domestic violence
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: or divorce or poverty in their lives. So I've seen
• 1:58
  Speaker 5: what can happen, and I know the statistics around who
• 2:03
  Speaker 5: commits domestic violence. But at the same time, not everyone
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  Speaker 5: is like that, and I would hate for my fears
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  Speaker 5: to ruin my children's childhood.
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  Speaker 3: Kylie's some great feedback there. By the way, if you
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  Speaker 3: want to leave us a message, you don't have to
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: email us at podcasts at Happy Families dot com dot
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  Speaker 3: you anymore. We have an easy to use button. It's
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: a brand new plug in on our website, Happy Families
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  Speaker 3: dot com dot you. Just go to the website, press
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: the button and start talking. It's that easy and we
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: love hearing your voice on the podcast. Okay, let's dive
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: into it, Kylie, the pros and cons.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Is there actually any science around sleepovers?
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: No, Well, there's no Australian data on sleepovers. I have
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: combed through the through the databases and it's really hard
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: to find. In fact, it's hard to find.
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  Speaker 3: Good evidence on sleepovers, full stop, end of story. We
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: kind of have this belief if there's a whole lot
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: of research on a whole lot of things and we
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: can just tap our fingers and I don't know, chat,
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: GBT or Google or whatever the latest AI is is
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  Speaker 3: going to tell us the answer to our question. But
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: sometimes we don't have good research. Sometimes we actually don't know.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: So we're just making it up.
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  Speaker 4: Well, there is some.
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: Data, and that's what we're going to point to in
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: this conversation. We don't know how many kids are having sleepovers.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: We don't have any idea how many parents are banning sleepovers.
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  Speaker 3: We do know that every time we discussed on social media,
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  Speaker 3: it gets a big response. And even though there isn't
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: much research, I've scrounged around and found a few bits
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: and pieces. So I've come up with three research backed
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: reasons that sleepovers are awesome, and I also found three
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  Speaker 3: research backed reasons that sleepovers are concerning.
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  Speaker 4: Let's dive into them. You want to start with the
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  Speaker 4: pros or the cons.
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  Speaker 1: Well, I'm always begetting the cons out of the way,
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: so let's start there.
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  Speaker 3: So if I was to ask you, what do you
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  Speaker 3: think the biggest reasons people would be anti sleepovers could be?
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: In addition to or including what we've already heard, what
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: would you say?
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  Speaker 1: Safety issues would have to be paramount. That'd be at
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  Speaker 1: the top of the list.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, safety concerns in the research, this is the deal
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  Speaker 4: breaker for a lot of people. And I get it.
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  Speaker 3: Sleepovers pose huge safety risks for children. There's the risk
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: of incidents and accidents and exposure to inappropriate behavior, and
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: we know, I mean, this is really concerning. I had
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: a chat with one of the lead researchers on the
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: Estrange Child Male Treatment study just a month and a
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: bit ago on the Happy Families podcast, and he indicated
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: that their brand new research just published shows that the
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: group most likely to perpetrate abuse against kids as other kids.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: So we know that harm is most likely to be
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  Speaker 3: done by people who are known by and trusted by
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  Speaker 3: the victim of the abuse, and often it's another young
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  Speaker 3: person like a big brother, or just somebody else is
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: in the house. Safety concerns are paramount.
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  Speaker 1: The other things that stand out for me is the
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: disruption of routines. Every time our children have had a
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: sleep over, every time they have come home home and
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: absolute breck.
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: How many days do you reckon? It takes kids to
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: recover from a good quality sleepover.
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  Speaker 1: At least two or three By then, by then the
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: weekends over and we're back into the school week, and
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: we're trying to push through the brain frog.
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: Through the brain frog. It's very yes, I have brain frogs.
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: Those brain frogs are really tough to get through too.
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  Speaker 4: It's true, sleepovers are guaranteed to disrupt kids sleep patterns,
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  Speaker 4: guaranteed to boost fatigue, Guaranteed that more often than night,
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  Speaker 4: your kids are going to come home cranky, cranky and
• 5:32
  Speaker 4: tired and ratty and miserable, impaired cognitive function. They're horrible
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  Speaker 4: for a few days after. As you said, Kylie, research
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  Speaker 4: does tell us that are regular sleep schedules such as
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: those that kids are going to experience when they go
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: and have their sleepovers, are also going to not just
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: not just have those negatives, but it can impair their
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: their academic performance and obviously it has an impact on
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: their mood.
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  Speaker 1: And lastly, I think the issues around peer exclusion and
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: peer pressure would be another thing on the list.
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: So we've talked about this before, the issue of when
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: the kids getting together, sometimes in a big group, sometimes
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: a small group. It doesn't really matter the size, but
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: once it's late at night, good things don't usually happen.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: I actually had a friend reach out to me recently.
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  Speaker 1: She's got a thirteen year old daughter who's desperate to
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  Speaker 1: have some friends over, and the parents would be going
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: out for an evening and not getting back till really late,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: and so she just asked me what my thoughts were
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: on whether or not it would be okay for her
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  Speaker 1: to leave her thirteen year old daughter behind with a
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  Speaker 1: few other girls, because this is her first time round.
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  Speaker 1: And I just said to her, look, I'm not really
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: worried about the girls. You're talking about and what they
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: might get up to. They're really good kids, I said,
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: But the challenge you have when you get more than
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: one girl together is just the emotional challenges that exist
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: and their inability to navigate those without adult supervision.
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the challenges of exclude usion or bullying, or someone
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  Speaker 3: saying something snide or something something innocent being interpreted ambiguously
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  Speaker 3: taken the wrong way. And then you've got this kid
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  Speaker 3: who's in the corner, kind of stuck late at night
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  Speaker 3: with no other to turn to, feeling insecure, feeling hopeless,
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  Speaker 3: feeling excluded, and of course there is the risk that
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: that can blow up into something far, far worse, because
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: they're tired, they're hyped up on sugar and all those
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: kinds of things. So they're the concerns, and I think
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  Speaker 3: that they're warranted. They're important concerns. Can I just quickly
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: dive into a couple of arguments for sleepovers. I'm actually
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: an advocate for them, in spite of the risks. If
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: we can get sleepovers right and if kids can be safe,
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  Speaker 3: I think sleepovers are fantastic in spite of the fact
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  Speaker 3: that the kids can be grumpy the next day, and
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  Speaker 3: in spite of the fact that there can be some
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  Speaker 3: exclusion going on, and in spite of the fact that
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  Speaker 3: it's a potentially dangerous thing from a I know I'm
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: not making this, I'm not selling it really well, Ama,
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  Speaker 3: But from a social development point of view, research researchers
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  Speaker 3: at the University of Maryland showed that positive peer relationships
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: established during childhood sleep can lead to greater social confidence.
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: Later in life.
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  Speaker 3: What happens is that a sleepovers provide like this, this scaffolding.
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  Speaker 3: It supports social development. It gets kids into this event
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: where they're learning how to navigate friendships and conflicts and
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  Speaker 3: compromise outside of the typically structured environment of school or home.
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  Speaker 3: And I don't know that it's healthy or safe to
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  Speaker 3: protect our kids from that stuff all the time. It's
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: good that they end up in those situations so long
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  Speaker 3: as so long as they have the opportunity to navigate
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: them with appropriate support, and so long as the environment
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: supports cooperation and conflict resolution and empathy. So for me,
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  Speaker 3: I think that the social potential and the fact that
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: the kids some of my best memories, some of my
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: best memories are from sleepovers. We didn't have sleepovers when
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: I was a kid, until I was into my teen years.
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  Speaker 3: That was just the way it worked in my family.
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  Speaker 3: But Kylie, I remember my friends would stay over.
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  Speaker 4: One night, we went into the pantry, so mum and
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  Speaker 4: dad had a walk in pantry in this particular house.
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  Speaker 4: Went into the pantry.
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  Speaker 3: There was two leaders of chocolate chocolate syrup, and one
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  Speaker 3: of my friends, Aaron, said, what will you giving me
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  Speaker 3: if I drink it?
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  Speaker 1: You are not doing yourself any favors right now.
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  Speaker 3: We all said we'd give him five dollars. Back in
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  Speaker 3: those days, that was a lot for us kids. We
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: said we'd give him five dollars if he would drink
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: the two leaders of chocolate topping chocolate syrup.
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  Speaker 1: Disgusting.
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: He got through a powder leader of it disgusting, but
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  Speaker 3: when he burked.
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  Speaker 4: The whole room just felt like chocolate. I remember those things.
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  Speaker 4: I remember skinny dipping because we all just thought it
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: was so funny. Were doing a Newdy run down the street.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, so I'm all the parents, all of us are
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: all screaming no, don't say anything else.
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, of course, But the thing is everyone did it
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: as well, right, And everyone remembers the sleepovers because they
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: did those dumb things.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: So there's a couple of things that jump out at me. Right,
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: I'm not against sleepovers at all, but with all of
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: the experience that we've had over the years, I probably
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: am against group sleepovers.
• 9:54
  Speaker 5: Right.
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  Speaker 1: Large groups have never worked out well. They just never
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: have worked out well. I think being a really close
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: friend come over and spend the night, or you go
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: and spend the night with them. I think there's lots
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: of merit to that.
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: What about camping out in the backyard though we used
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: to have just two or three my mates, we'd set
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: up a tent in the backyard and we'd camp overnight
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: in the backyard. We thought it was so awesome. We'd
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: go down to the shops and buy a couple of
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: packets of Hubber Bubba and we would chew gum in
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: the tent all night and it was just great.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Well, you didn't let me finish, because the next thing
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: was you acknowledged that you didn't actually start having sleepovers
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: well into your teens, and that makes a huge difference.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: I remember one of our kids getting a sleepover invite
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: as a six year old. Yeah, with a group of
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: six year olds, and I just they're not ready for that.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: If you want to if you want to start to
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: stretch your kids in a social way, send them to
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: grandma's at six, send them to grandma's at eight.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: Well, see this is important as well. Sleepovers with friends
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: versus sleepovers with family, that's an important distinction, so very different.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: I literally remember having a sleepover at my auntie's house
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: when I would have been I want to say, five
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: or six. I was really young, and I have a vivid,
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: vivid picture in my mind of being in my boy
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: cousin's bedroom. So he'd obviously gone. I wasn't sleeping in
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: the room with me. I had his room. He had
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: trucks on the walls, and I could just see these trucks,
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: and I was so scared. I wanted I wanted my
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: own familiar space. But there was nowhere to go. There
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: was nowhere to you know, there wasn't any way to
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: deal with it. I had to be there.
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: So there's another another cond there's the anxiety of sleepovers
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: for little kids.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: So age matters and context matters.
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: All right, I want to come to those in a second.
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: Let's just do a quick summary of where we are. First,
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: of all the arguments against sleepovers. Number one, there's the
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: safety concerns. Number two, there's a disruption to routine. Number three,
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: there's the stuff that goes on in the peer group
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: that's not positive, and we could add screens as well
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: like that, that really changes the dynamic again if screens
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: are involved. The positives the arguments for sleepovers. There's the
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: social development, there's the memories and the bonding that I've
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: really made a big deal about it.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: But you don't need to have a sleepover to make memories.
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: No you don't. But research shows that sleepovers can enhance
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: the emotional bond between kids and contribute to their overall
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: well being and happiness.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: I'm actually kids doings development when they're drinking one leader
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: of chocolate syrup, and it.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: Also helps them to build independence and make decisions for themselves.
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: That's the summary so far. Now there are five things
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: that I think we need to bear in mind. And
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: time is almost up already, So over the next seventy
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: to ninety seconds, we are going to whizz through five
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: things that we should keep in mind when we're talking
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: about sleepovers. Kyle, you've already touched on the first one.
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: The age matters. Age matters because when you're older, you're
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: less likely to experience harm and abuse. Research shows that
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: younger kids are at greater risk. They're simply more vulnerable.
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: The older you are, the less vulnerable you are. Not
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: that you're invulnerable, but you're less vulnerable as you get older.
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: And when you're older, you're also much more aware. You
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: get that spidy sense, that well, that feeling you know
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: what's a risky situation and what's not, or at least
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: you do much more than when you're five or eight
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: or eleven.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: I think the kind of personality your child has matters
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: as well.
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: So I would call this assertiveness.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: Have you got a child who's willing to speak up
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: and speak out when they're uncomfortable? Will they get in
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: touch with an adult, whether it's ring you as mum
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: or dad or go to the responsible adult in the house.
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: Or have they got the guts to just look at
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: their friends and say stop it, this is not okay?
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: Like can they call out bullying? Can they look at
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: someone and say what made you think.
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: That was right? Like having that moral courage. That's what
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: I call it, the assertiveness, big, big, big deal.
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: So number one, how old are they and how aware
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: are they what's going on? Number two, how assertive. Are
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: they Number three?
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: Communication?
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: It's so important. Do your kids know that no matter what,
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: they can call you? Yeah, they can reach out to
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: your things are not going well, which.
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: Also prompts the question are you going to give them
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: a phone? If they're too young to normally have a phone,
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: do they go with the phone? Or if they don't
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: have a phone, how do they contact you? What if
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: the person who's supposed to be the trusted adult in
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: this situation is actually unsafe. They can't really say I
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: need a phone to call my mom because you're scaring me.
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: So it's a really, really, really tricky one. Some kids
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: are going to be so easily swayed by their peers
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: if things go sideways. Are they able to communicate with
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: you and the people around them?
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: How well do they know the people that you're leaving
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: them with as well? I think that's a really important one.
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: Okay, so let's call that number four. Let's just talk
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: about supervision. How many kids are going to be there?
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: Who else is going to be there? I remember you
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: telling me a horror story about a sleepover surely after
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: we were married, where somebody that you knew was inappropriately
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: touched by an uncle who was visiting from overseas. So
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: the kids were.
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: Having the sleepover and everyone in the house was safe,
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: except oh, hang on, we've got somebody new visiting from overseas.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: But they're a trusted adult, right because their family turns
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: out they weren't. Horrifying story, absolutely horrifying. So as an adult,
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: you want to know who's there. And the last thing
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: that I'm going to bring up is who is going
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: to be responsible. We've had conversations with other adults who
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: are going to be looking after our kids at sleepovers,
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: and we've said, is there anyone going to be drinking?
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: And that matters purely because one time, my parents have
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: gone overseas on a holiday and my grandma and grandpa
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: were looking after us kids and Nana Pop had a
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: couple of drinks one night. They weren't drunk or anything,
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: but they had a few drinks and they certainly were
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: not safe to drive. And I was playing a little
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: bit rough with my sisters and broke one of my
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: sister's arms.
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: I know. So this isn't even a sleepover situation, but
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: it just prompts the question, if something were to go wrong,
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: are there responsible adults who are able to get in
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: the car and get the kids to the hospital or
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: do something to protect them. Again, unlikely, but not trivial.
• 15:47
  Speaker 4: Not trivial. This stuff matters.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: So are key points from today's conversation. There are definitely
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: a couple of things that go against having sleepovers, and.
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: They're big things.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: We've got some real concerns around safety for our children.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: There's the disruption to routine and just dealing with the
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: tearor child for the next twenty four or forty eight
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: hours afterwards, and the challenges around peer pressure and exclusion.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: They're real, and the arguments for it. Let's face it,
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: they're downright fun. They're downright they're downright fun. There's so
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: much to do, so much fun to have memories to make,
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: bonding to create. Yeah, yeah, they're fun.
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: So here's what I would say, if you're looking for
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: the upshot of all of this to take home message
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: with kids under twelve, stick with a sleep under. Sleep
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: under also known as a late over, fancy way of saying,
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: I'll pick you up late and bring you home. You're
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: not staying over.
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: So I really like that idea. I reckon it works
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: with bigger kids.
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: I reckon you just roll play practice. What will you
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: say things aren't going right. Make sure that they know
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: that they can be assertive and the power of doing that. Next,
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: make sure they can contact you. Make sure you know
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: that they're never to enter the room of an adult
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: or someone of the opposite gender. I think that's super,
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: super important. It just keeps them safe. And now it's
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: going on with alcohol and supervision and access to screens.
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: If you do that sort.
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: Of stuff, pre armed is prepared. Sleepovers are amazing when
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: they go well, and more often than not most of
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: the time they do go well. But keeping our kids
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: safe is a priority, so hopefully this helps. The Happy
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: Family's podcast is produced by Justin Rawan from Bridge Media.
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: Craig Bruce is our executive.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: Producer and if you'd like more info about making your
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: family happier or to read a written version of this podcast,
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: not a transcript, just a written version of the podcast,
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: check it all out Happy families dot com dot au.