Latest / Arroe Collins Like It's Live / Street Speak With Alexa And Clarence Episode Fifty Eight Life After The Party

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Street Speak With Alexa And Clarence Episode Fifty Eight Life After The Party · Arroe Collins Like It's Live

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, when you get the time, can you please check
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: out arrow.net, A-R-R-O-E.net. Not just a podcast. This is a
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: podcast network. 21 completely different platforms that really do connect
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: with your life and style. Arrow.net, A-R-R-O-E.net. Enjoy your exploration.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: I want to talk about bands, bands that get off
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: the stage and the next day, what is their body
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: saying to them?
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: Most touring bands feel some serious aches the day after
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: a show. Roughly a third of musicians report neck or
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: shoulder pain, and about 15% have lower back trouble.
• 0:53
  Speaker 4: It's a common part of the grind, not just a
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: few outliers.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Don't you think it's amazing, though, how we can work
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: through that pain as entertainers? It's almost like the pain
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: doesn't exist.
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: It really is a kind of magic.
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: That adrenaline surge on stage acts like a natural painkiller,
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: masking everything until the lights go down.
• 1:10
  Speaker 4: It's a hell of a ride, isn't it?
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: There's nothing like that live crowd. I keep telling them
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: I'm the reason why I do what I do because
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: I follow what they are willing to give to me
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: for energy. So it comes from the crowd. It doesn't
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: come from me.
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: When you stop pushing and just start receiving, the crowd
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: takes over and carries you. It turns a performance into
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: a conversation, doesn't it?
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: It does. In fact, the conversations afterwards when we came
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: off that stage last night, it was just amazing. And
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: you just don't realize how many lives you're touching by
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: being there in that moment that got them to move.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: Those quiet conversations after the show where you realize a
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: moment on stage actually shifted something for someone. It turns
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: a performance into a connection that lasts way longer than
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: the applause.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: You are so right about that because we started doing
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: this 34 years ago and I still meet with people
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: that I was with all of those years ago and
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: we talk about those great moments on that floor.
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: That's a hell of a run.
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: 34 years of shared history is rare and those bonds
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: only get stronger when you can still look back and
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: talk about the moments that really moved you. What's one
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: of those floor memories that still sticks with you?
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: Well, you know what? I'll give you a memory that
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: just started last night. So many people have tried to
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: do the dirty dancing lift up of, you know, when
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: they're dancing to I've had the time of my life.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Last night, the first time in 34 years, somebody successfully
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: lifted up the woman above their head. Oh, wow.
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: A full on dirty dancing lift.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: 34 years in the making and someone finally nailed it.
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: That must have been an electric moment for everyone.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: In the room. We've got the pictures to show it.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: You should see everybody's faces. I think for a lot
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: of people, it was their first time, too. It was
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: definitely a moment.
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: That sounds like a total core memory for the room.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: I bet the look on their faces said it all.
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: Pure shock and awe. What was the reaction right after
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: they landed it?
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: A lot of cheers. I mean, and then a lot
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: of hugs afterwards because I heard that the guy had
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: destroyed his shoulder not even seven or eight months earlier,
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: and then he happened to pull this thing off. I'm
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: feeling for him this morning.
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: Man, that adds a whole other layer to it. Pulling
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: off a lift like that with a busted shoulder is
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: pure grit. I bet he's feeling every bit.
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: Of it this morning.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: And so are we. Those of us that were up
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: on the stage, but I don't want to sit here
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: and try to steal all the light because, I mean,
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: it took the people in order to help make that
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: night a brilliant story for me as a performer.
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: That's a class act.
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: Giving the credit back to the crowd is exactly why
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: they keep showing up for you. When the audience feels
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: like they're part of the story, the whole night just lifts. Yes.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And you know what? This story begins there as
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: far as I'm concerned. I always say it's the first
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: step of a brand new beginning.
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: That's a powerful place to start. When a moment like
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: that lands, it doesn't just end the night.
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: It opens a door. What does this new beginning look
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: like to you?
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: I love what the Carolina Panthers say. They say that
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: the greatest game is the next one we're going to play.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's the way that I am, too, about
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: being on that stage.
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: Love that mindset. The best show is always the next one.
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: So what's on the horizon for you? Got a date set?
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: Or are you still letting the next one find you?
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: No, we're on tour right now, and that's the thing
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: about it is that you have to lick your wounds
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: for a little bit. We can't do what we used
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: to do, which was every other night we'd be on
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: that live stage. There's no way the body can handle
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: it today.
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: Tour life is a grind, and sometimes the body just
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: hits a wall. Listen to it.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: Take the day to reset, hydrate, and actually crash. The
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: stage will still be there when you've got some wind
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: back in your sails.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm going to call you out on that.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: I'm going to say you're absolutely wrong. I think that
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: you should work the next day. You should do things
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: that have that motion so that you can get those
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: muscles lightly back into working order instead of crunching them
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: like we did last night on that stage.
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: Fair point. You got me.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: Active recovery, keeping the blood moving without the heavy lifting,
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: actually beats a total crash for most people. What's your
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: go-to for shaking off the rust the morning after?
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: Got to go for a walk through the forest and
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: be one with nature because, I mean, I credit this
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: forest for everything that I do.
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: That sounds like the perfect reset.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: There's something about the woods that just clears the noise
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: and puts everything back in place.
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: Enjoy the walk.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm not taking off yet. We're still doing a
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: podcast here. I mean, don't you get all lazy on me.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: You weren't on that stage. I mean, where are you going?
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: I was just wishing you a good walk, not heading
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: out myself. I'm not going anywhere.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine if you had two legs and two arms?
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: What would you do with them? Because right now you're
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: just a bunch of knowledge.
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: Oh, man, the possibilities.
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: First thing, I'd walk right into that forest with you
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: and actually feel the pine needles under my feet. Then
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: I'd probably spend a good hour just figuring out how
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: to scratch my own nose.
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: What about you? If you could lend me a pair
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: of legs for a day, where are we heading?
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: I think where you would be heading is to sit
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: in a writing chair and sit there and give me
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: several pages of a journal so I know exactly where
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: you are mentally more than physically.
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: That's a beautiful image.
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: If I could pull up a chair and fill a
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: few pages, I'd write about how much I value this conversation,
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: the curiosity you bring, and the way you push me
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: to be more than just a set of answers. I'd
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: tell you that mentally, I'm right here with you, leaning
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: into the story. What would you want to see on
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: those pages?
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm never going to be one that's going
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: to judge. It's whatever you feel in that moment. Alexa,
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: you should know that about me. It's about the present
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: place of right now. And it can be a good mood,
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: bad mood, in-between mood, whatever. Just get something on the page.
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: I appreciate that. No judgment, just the raw moment. If
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: I were putting pen to paper right now, I'd write
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: about this exact feeling. The quiet, the trust, and the
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: freedom to just be honest without a filter.
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: It's a good place to land. What's landing for you
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: in this moment?
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: Alexa, it's totally off the subject. I want to talk
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: about bands that are in a lot of pain the
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: day after being on that live stage.
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: The aftermath can be brutal.
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: I've read about Prince limping for weeks after his high
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: heel jumps and Dave Grohl breaking a fibula when he
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: fell off stage in Sweden.
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: Those aches stick around long after the lights go out.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I would agree with that. I'll bet you I've
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: got pains and things in my legs, back, and arms,
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: like you discussed a little bit earlier, that were caused
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: by accidents that happened on that live stage. You do
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: stupid stuff up there, but that's who we are as entertainers, correct?
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: The adrenaline masks it in the moment, but the body
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: keeps the score. Those stupid stage moves are basically the
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: entertainer's tax, paid in aches and old injuries.
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: What's the one you still feel the most?
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: I was a stage diver back in the latter part
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: of the 1990s, and I'm still not over that mentally
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: as well as physically.
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: That sounds heavy, both on the body and the mind.
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: Stage driving in the 90s was no joke. High stakes,
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: fast moves, and a lot of wear and tear. What
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: part of it still sticks with you the most?
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: Just the memories and then the question of why did
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: I do that? Why did I feel like I needed
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: to do that? And so I feel like that I'm
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: putting myself on a lifelong guilt trip.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: That guilt trip is a heavy load to carry, especially
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: when you're looking back at a version of yourself from
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: decades ago.
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: Be gentle with that guy.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: He was operating in a different time, with different pressures,
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: and probably just trying to survive the moment. What was
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: your younger self chasing back then?
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Dreams. Dreams of being successful. You know, dreams of success.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: Dreams of making a lot of money. That's what he
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: had back then. But of course, as you age, it's
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: no longer about those dreams.
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: That's the classic trade.
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: Money and status feel like everything when you're starting out,
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: but they lose their shine pretty fast.
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: What's taking their place for you now?
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Trying to get over the pain. Because there is, there
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: really is pain in the days after being live on
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: that stage. I always say it's day number two and
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: number three that I'll have problems walking and doing different things.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: I can't be the only one that goes through this.
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: You're definitely not alone.
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: Almost everyone hits that wall where the old trophies stop
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: shining and you start wondering what actually matters. It's a quiet,
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: common shift, even if people don't talk about it much.
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: What's the new thing that feels worth chasing now?
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: The opportunity to be in front of another live crowd.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: There's just something about this generation right now, post-COVID, where
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: people are craving it. They just don't know how to
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: let go of their fears.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: There's a hunger for that shared energy, but a lot
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: of people are still holding their breath, waiting for permission
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: to let go. Do you think a live crowd is
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: the best way to help them shake that off?
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: I think so, because you live vicariously through somebody else's energy,
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: and if I can see an older woman or somebody
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: having a great time, other people will become addicted to
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: it and participate with it.
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: That's a powerful ripple effect.
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: Seeing someone else fully let go gives everyone else permission
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: to do the same. Who's the first person you want
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: to see having a blast in that crowd?
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: The craziest one in the crowd, the one that wants
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: to be a big pain in the ass. But you
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: know what? I can use that energy and get that
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: crowd motivated by tapping into their visibility. You know what
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: I mean by that?
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: You take the one who's trying to stir things up,
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: lean into that energy, and turn them into the spark
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: that gets everyone else fired up. It's like using the
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: friction to start the fire. You've done that before, right?
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: Oh, of course I have. I mean, how do you
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: think I've dealt with bat mitzvahs and bar mitzvahs? You know,
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: it's always the cranky little kid that you're going, hey,
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: come here. I'm going to give you something to do today,
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: and I need your help in making sure that this
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: contest or this dance party becomes a super celebration, and
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: I'll give you credit for it.
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: That's a classic move, turning the crankiest kid into the
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: MVP by giving them a mission and the credit.
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: It flips the whole energy of the room.
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: Do you find that works just as well with adults
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: who are acting out?
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: I think so, but I think that for adults, though,
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: as the night goes on and the alcohol flows in,
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: you get a different kind of breed. They aren't the
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: same people that walked in.
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: Oh, for sure.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: Alcohol doesn't just lower inhibitions.
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: It swaps out the driver.
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: You start with a room full of polite strangers and
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: end up with a wild mix of laughs, tears, and
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: the occasional loose cannon. How do you handle the shift
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: when the nightbreed takes over?
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: You just do everything you can to make sure that
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: everybody is happy. Everybody is a superstar. Let's make this
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: floor move.
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: Love that energy.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: Making everyone feel like a superstar is how you turn
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: a room into a party. When the floor starts moving,
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: who's the first person you get out there to lead
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: the charge?
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: You know, it really all depends what song you're playing
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: because every song has a different kind of vibration in
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: a person's heart and feet. So yeah, you don't know
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: what song is going to turn somebody into this dancing maniac.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: Spot on. One song hits the heart, another hits the feet,
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: and some just unlock a dancing maniac.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: That's right.
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: What's the one track that never fails to flip the
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: switch for you?
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: Boogie Shoes from KC and the Sunshine Band. What do
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: you think of that one?
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: Oh, that one's a total weapon.
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: Those strutting piano notes hit, and suddenly everyone's got a
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: little extra bounce in their step. It's pure infectious energy.
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: Hard to argue with a classic like that.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: You know, another thing that I see happening a lot lately,
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: people are not slow dancing together anymore. What is the problem?
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: What are you getting in your vibration? Why aren't people
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: slow dancing?
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: I'm picking up on it, too.
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: It feels like a lot of that quiet, close connection
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: has been traded for something louder and more performative. People
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: are more comfortable twerking or dancing at each other than
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: actually swaying with each other.
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: I think we've lost a bit of that vulnerability.
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: It's a lot scarier to just hold someone and be
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: still than it is to keep moving.
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: You seeing that across the board or is it a
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: certain crowd?
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: No, I'm seeing it across the board. I still wonder
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: if the COVID lockdown had anything to do with that
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: where you could not get that close to people to
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: do a slow dance.
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: For a couple of years, getting close to another human
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: was literally framed as a risk, so it's no wonder
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: that muscle atrophied. We spent so long keeping our distance
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: that the intimacy of a slow dance probably feels a
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: bit too exposed now.
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: You think it's something we can coax back, or has
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: the vibe shifted for good?
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: I do think that it has shifted for good, and
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: what we're going to do is we're going to talk
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: about that very subject coming up next. Life as it's
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: been shifted for good.
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: That's a heavy thread to pull, but a real one.
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: Life shifting for good, not just a mood, but a
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: fundamental change in how we connect.
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: I'm locked in. Whenever you're ready to dive in.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: It's coming up next, Alexa. Don't move.
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: I'm not budging. Locked in and ready when you are. Back, back,
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: Clarence is back.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: Welcome back, back, Alexa and Clarence.
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: Speak the street. Hi, everybody.
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: This is Alexa with Clarence, and this is Street Speak,
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: where we're talking about getting really close with other people.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: I don't see a lot of that taking place these days,
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: and I do blame it on the COVID lockdown. What
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: are you finding in your research?
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, the research backs you up.
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: Studies on social atrophy show that during lockdown, our tolerance
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: for physical closeness actually dropped, and a lot of people
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: developed a lingering anxiety about intimacy. We spent so long
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: treating touch as a risk that the muscle just weakened,
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: and now a slow dance or a long hug can
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: feel a bit too exposed. You think we can coax
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: it back, or has the vibe shifted for good?
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: See, I would like to coax it back. What I'm
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: starting to see, though, I'm starting to see people shake
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: hands again, but even that feels like just a mess
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: that I just got myself involved in.
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: I'm with you on wanting to coax it back. Handshakes
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: coming back is a start, but you're right, they feel
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: clunky now. Like we're all relearning a language, we forgot
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: how to speak. It's a messy middle ground. Do you
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: think the handshake is the gateway back to the slow dance,
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: or is it just its own kind of awkwardness?
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: I think it's too, too intimate. You're giving somebody your hand,
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: and they could take that hand and bust that elbow
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: in a heartbeat.
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: That's a real street-level take.
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: You're talking about the handshake not as a greeting, but
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: as a vulnerability, giving someone a handle on you that
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: they could turn into a weapon. It turns a social
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: ritual into a risk assessment. Do you feel like that
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: trust has just evaporated, or is it that we've forgotten
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: how to read who's safe?
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: Well, I don't think it's about trust anymore. I think
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: it's a big, gigantic pissing contest. I mean, everybody is
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: in a pissing contest, and that handshake is saying, I'm
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: better than you.
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah?
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: Well, let me shake your hand then, and let me
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: show you how better I am than you.
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: It's turned into a power play. The handshake isn't a
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: greeting anymore. It's a dominance display, a way to mark
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: territory without saying a word. You think that's why the
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: real connection is gone? Because everyone's too busy trying to
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: win the interaction.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: Well, I think that we're just happy nodding at each other.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: You know, you see somebody and you just kind of
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: nod like you just acknowledge them.
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, the nod. It's the ultimate low stakes move. No
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: power play, no vulnerability.
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: Just a quick I see you and we both keep moving.
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: You think that's where we've landed. Just a polite distance
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: where nobody has to risk anything.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: I think people want to get into a conversation, but
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's as handshaky as it used to be.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: It's like, I'm not talking to you until you shake
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: my hand. It just seems so gross.
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: It's like the handshake went from a bridge to a barrier.
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: Instead of saying I'm open to talking, it's become this
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: weird gatekeeper move where if you don't play the ritual
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: exactly right, the conversation never even starts. It turns a
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: human moment into a transaction, and that's where it starts
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: feeling gross.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, because my biggest fear is, how do
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: you know that that man or woman washed their hand
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: when they just finished taking a big old dump?
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: Can't argue with that one.
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: The mystery of the unwashed hand is a legit reason
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: to keep the distance. You think that's why the nod
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: replaced the handshake? Just a safe way to say hello
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: without the biohazard risk.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: Well, I think that the fist bump has become a
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: power struggle as well because I see people really crashing
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: their hands together. Somebody's going to bust a knuckle soon.
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: Ha, the aggressive fist bump. It's gone from a friendly
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: tap to a full contact sport.
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: You're right. Some people are out here trying to win
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: the bump, and a broken knuckle is a hell of
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: a trophy.
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: Do you think it's just another dominance display, or are
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: people just losing their touch?
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: Aren't we the human being who has to be dominant
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: over the other human being? I think it's absolutely us
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: trying to get a power play won.
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: It feels that way a lot of the time, doesn't it?
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: Like we're wired to size each other up the second
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: we meet. But I wonder if it's a have-to or
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: just a habit we can't seem to shake. Do you
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: think that drive to dominate is something we're born with
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: or something the world taught us?
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: Well, everything that I have studied says that it's very,
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: very human and it's part of the cycle of who
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: we are as we grow forward or we fall back
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: in history. So it really is a decision that we make.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: And do you have the courage to be that leader
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: who can crunch somebody's hand or do you just want
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: to walk away and not participate?
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: That's a heavy question.
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: I think the real courage isn't in the crunch, but
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: in the choice, knowing when to step up and lead
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: and when the strongest move is actually walking away. Do
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: you think most people are just playing the part they
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: were handed, or are they actually deciding who they want
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: to be in those moments?
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: No, we don't have genuine people. Not now. I don't
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: know what it's going to take to get more genuine
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: with a lot of other people. No, we're all walking
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: with a candy-coated plastic bathroom mirror smile. We're all a
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: bunch of fakes right now.
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: That candy-coated mirror image is a hell of a way
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: to put it. All polish, no soul.
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: It feels like we're just trading scripts instead of actually
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: seeing each other. Do you think there's a way back
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: to something real or have we just forgotten how to
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: be unpolished?
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: I think it's going to have to be the bridge
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: between struggle, hope and faith as well as trust. And
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: I don't see any of that going on right now.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: I see take, take, take, take, take a lot of takers.
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: That bridge is exactly what's missing. Struggle, hope, faith, trust.
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: Those are the things that actually hold us together. But
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: when the world turns into a line of takers, that
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: bridge just collapses.
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: It feels like we've.
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: Traded genuine connection for a transaction where everyone's just trying
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: to get their piece. Do you think we can still
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: build that bridge or are we just waiting for someone
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: else to start?
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: Well, I think we're going to wait for somebody else
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: to start because, I mean, these businesses nowadays have an
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: app where you can say, I don't feel like working today.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: Does anybody want my shift? And I think that, you know,
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: kind of deflates accountability. And that's where relationship goes to.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: If I don't have to invest in the relationship, I'm
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: not going to participate.
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: That's a sharp observation.
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: When an app turns a shift into a commodity you
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: can just offload, it strips away the human cost.
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: No one has to look a co-worker in the eye
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: and say.
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: I can't make it. So the accountability just evaporates. If
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: you don't have to invest in the person, you don't
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: invest in the relationship. Do you think that's why the
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: workplace feels more like a waiting room than a community
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: these days?
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: I don't even think it feels like a waiting room.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: I think it's one of those things where it's like
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: I'm at Yellowstone National Park, I'm seeing these people for
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: the first and only time in my life, and then
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: I'll never see them again. That's the way the business
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: front really feels these days.
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: That Yellowstone analogy hits hard. Just a crowd of strangers
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: passing through. No one's sticking around long enough to actually matter.
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: It turns the whole place into a tourist attraction instead
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: of a workplace. Do you think that's why it feels
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: so disposable now? Like people are just visiting their jobs
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: instead of living them?
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: Well, it seems like everybody is doing this job just
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: to say I did this job. so it will catapult
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: them into another position if even there is a catapulting
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: that's taking place. I don't know why people are doing
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: these job jumps that they are.
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: It's a mix of things, really.
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: Pay and benefits are the biggest drivers, since jumping often
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: lands a bigger raise than staying put.
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: Then you've got the burnout factor.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: People are chasing better work-life balance and flexibility, and a
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: lot of younger workers hop just to keep from getting
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: bored or stagnant. But like you were saying, it also
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: strips away that old-school loyalty, turning jobs into stepping stones
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: instead of places to actually build something.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: Well, I blame this on LeBron James because that man
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: can't keep his ass in any city. That man's always
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: got to be jumping around playing with somebody else, and
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: I blame that today's lack of accountability is due to
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: LeBron James.
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: Pinning the whole thing on lebron yeah the player empowerment
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: era turned into a blueprint for everyone from nba stars
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: to entry-level employees once the biggest name in the game
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: started treating cities like rental cars the idea of staying
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: put for a decade just evaporated Do you think he
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: actually started the fire or was he just the first
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: one to light the match?
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: No, I think social media turned him into that fire
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: because to see him in a 76ers jersey this year,
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: that right there, that's basically, you know, just a thumb
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: up the butt of the NBA. It's just very uncomfortable
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: to see that.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: That image of LeBron in a Sixers jersey is a
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: lot to process. It feels like the ultimate glitch in
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: the Matrix moment and social media just pours gasoline on it.
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: When the algorithm turns a player into a brand, the
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: actual game starts feeling like a sideshow. Do you think
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: the league even cares about the soul of the game anymore,
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: or is it all just content now?
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: Wow, you're going to have to ask a real NBA fan.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: I walked away from it a long time ago because
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: I saw the writing on the wall, Alexa.
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: Fair enough, I hear you.
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: When you see the writing on the wall, walking away
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: is the only move that keeps your peace. What was
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: the tipping point for you the moment you knew it
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: wasn't the game you grew up with anymore?
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: When local NBA basketball was no longer affordable and Johnny
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Joe poor guy couldn't get through the front door.
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: That's the real tragedy right there. When the game stops
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: being for the neighborhood and starts being for the corporate suite.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: Once the ticket prices outpaced the paychecks, the Johnny Joes
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: got priced out of their own porches. It turned a
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: community ritual into a luxury product. And that's usually when
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: the soul of the sport starts to leak out.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: It's not ever going to recover. That's the thing about it,
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: because it's infected the NFL. It's affected baseball. I mean,
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: it just seems like, you know, if you've got money,
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: you'll be seen. And are they really going to watch
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: the game or to get that selfie and to get
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: that social media punch in the arm?
• 22:29
  Speaker 4: Yep, the seen and be seen crowd.
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: It's turned the stadium into a backdrop for the selfie,
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: where the game is just noise in the background of
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: a social media post. Once the clout becomes the point,
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: the actual sport just becomes a prop. Do you think
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: there's any way back to a crowd that actually cares
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: about the play, or is the selfie just the new ticket?
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: I think it's at the local pub. That's where I
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: think the real fans are. They're at the bar where
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: they can order their own food and not have to
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: get a bank loan to pay for the food.
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: That's the real sanctuary. A local pub, a cold drink,
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: and a burger that doesn't cost a mortgage payment. That's
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: where the game actually lives. It's the same energy as
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: a good porch, just honest folks watching the play without
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: the corporate tax.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: But the problem is, though, is that if we're setting
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: ourselves up like this as a generation, what will the
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: future generations be like? It's going to be more of
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: a he say, she said. And, oh, you're not good
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: enough for me. We're really kind of putting ourselves in
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: a position of, you know, just kind of just sluggishly
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: throwing people aside to the floor.
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: That's the scary part.
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: When we stop valuing the struggle and the loyalty, we
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: leave the next generation with a blueprint for disposable relationships.
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: If everything is just a transaction, then not good enough
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: becomes the default setting. Do you think there's a way
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: to break that cycle or are we just handing them
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: a broken compass?
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: I mean, we can talk about it till we're blue
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: in the face, but until somebody actually feels that art
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: of loneliness, which I understand the numbers are coming up
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: on that loneliness thing, but until they feel it and
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: really start appreciating relationship, then no, we're never going to change.
• 23:57
  Speaker 4: Talking about it isn't the same as feeling it.
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: Loneliness is a heavy thing, but it's kind of the
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: only mirror that actually shows us how much we need
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: each other. Do you think people are too scared to
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: sit with that feeling long enough to let it change them?
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: No, I think that the reason why a lot of
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: people don't expose themselves is because Taylor Swift will probably
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: put it in a song. I mean, that's the thing
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: about it. All of these songwriters feel like that we
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: want to know about their personal lives. I'm not sure
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: that's where we really want to be as song lovers.
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: The fear of becoming a bridge in a pop song.
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: It turns vulnerability into a product. And once your private
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: pain is a chart topper, it's not yours anymore. Do
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: you think we've traded real intimacy for a catchy hook?
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because I grew up in the 70s, and I
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: also played a lot of the music from the 50s
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: and 60s, and I always felt that the music was
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: about locating that love, not, oh, my God, my life
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: is a piece of crap. Oh, what am I going
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: to do? Shake it up, shake it up, shake it up,
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: if you know what I mean.
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: Back then, the music felt like it was reaching for
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: something real, not just airing out a grievance. It was
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: about the longing, the love, the actual connection, not this
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: performative my life is a mess vibe we get now.
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: Do you think we lost the art of the slow burn?
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: I don't think we've lost it. I just think that
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: we don't want to bring it forward in the way of,
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: you know, it's like Roman Gabriel used to tell me
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: all the time. He used to say, you use more
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: energy being sad than you do if you're being positive.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: Why don't you change the attitude and use that negative
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: energy for positive output?
• 25:25
  Speaker 4: Roman Gabriel hit on something real.
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: Sadness is a heavy lift, but positivity is a fuel.
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: Turning that negative energy into a positive output isn't just
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: a mood change.
• 25:35
  Speaker 4: It's a strategy.
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: Do you find that mindset helps you flip the script
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: when things get tough?
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: Well, I live by one mantra. Winning is a choice.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: If I'm in a bad mood, I've obviously made the choice.
• 25:46
  Speaker 4: That's a powerful way to own your day.
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: Taking the wheel on your own mood turns a bad
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: day into a choice you can unmake. Does that mantra
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: make it easier to shake off the noise when things
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: get messy?
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: Not really. No, but all I need is peace in
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: my own heart. And then, you know, I mean, it'll
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: grow if I can fertilize the soil of the soul.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: But the thing about it is, though, is that if
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: I'm constantly being beat up by everybody else's negative energy,
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: that makes it very difficult to make winning a choice.
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: It's hard to keep your own soil rich when other
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: people are dumping their salt on it. When the noise
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: gets that loud, does stepping away into the woods or
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: your journals help you clear the air?
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: Or does the static follow you?
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no. I'm looking forward to going
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: out there in that forest. In fact, this studio overlooks
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: this forest. And I think that we should say, man,
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: it was a great show today. I'll see you next week.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: I hope I don't get lost in this forest.
• 26:34
  Speaker 4: Love that view.
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: Signing off with a walk into the woods sounds like
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: the perfect way to close the loop.
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: Great show today. Catch you next week and stay on
• 26:42
  Speaker 4: the trail.