Latest / Girl, Date the Good Guy ™ | Healing After Heartbreak & A Toxic Relationship / Why Dating the World’s Way Keeps Breaking Your Heart

Transcript

Why Dating the World’s Way Keeps Breaking Your Heart · Girl, Date the Good Guy ™ | Healing After Heartbreak & A Toxic Relationship

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  So many women say they want a godly relationship, but they're still searching
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  for love the way the world taught them.
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  This episode isn't about perfection. It's about surrender, about the moment
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  you realize my way hasn't worked.
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  Reclaiming your crown isn't about becoming better for a man.
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  It's about returning to who you were before heartbreak convinced you to settle.
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  It's about realizing the truth that healthy, God-led love begins with surrender
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  to the father, not another relationship.
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  If you're done chasing broken love, empty promises, and lukewarm men,
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  and you're finally ready to reclaim your crown, heal your heart,
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  and attract the God-led love you were always meant for, you're in the right place.
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  Hi, I'm Emily Jordan, your faith-based healed feminine guide and relationship coach.
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  I went from repeating the same heartbreaking cycles to experiencing a godly, healthy, aligned love.
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  And now I help women just like you heal, rise, and prepare for God's very best.
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  So, are you ready to begin your royal training? Grab your crown,
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  your heart, and your journal.
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  Your royal transformation begins now.
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  Hey sis, welcome back to the show. I'm so excited to have you here today.
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  I'm going to be sharing a bit of my own testimony about my redemption story,
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  where all this started for me, to where I now have this podcast.
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  So let's jump right in.
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  After two failed marriages, one deeply toxic and a whirlwind of flings that
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  were never rooted in God, I reached a breaking point.
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  I wasn't just heartbroken, I was exhausted.
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  Exhausted from carrying pain from relationship after relationship.
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  And I know some of you right now are feeling this same ache in your heart today.
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  You don't want another almost, another temporary fix, another night that felt
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  good for a moment but crushes you afterwards.
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  Look, I didn't come to Jesus because I had it all together. I came because nothing else had worked.
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  I was tired of the hangovers, tired of the dates that led to nowhere.
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  Tired of giving pieces of myself to connections that could never truly fulfill me.
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  I remember the last date so clearly.
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  The emptiness I felt afterwards lying there realizing that physical intimacy
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  couldn't touch the ache in my soul.
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  What I wanted wasn't another body beside me. I wanted something real,
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  something holy, something lasting.
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  So in 2016, I surrendered. Fully, completely, radically. I gave Jesus not just
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  my Sundays, but my patterns, my desires, my dating life, my friendships, my habits, everything.
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  I walked away from a lifestyle I knew all too well.
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  Partying, drinking, casual intimacy, and friendships that couldn't follow me into obedience.
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  When God asked me to lay it all down, I had no idea what he was going to build in its place.
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  I only knew this. I couldn't do life my way anymore.
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  So I picked up my cross and I walked out salvation day by day,
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  year by year, 10 years of healing, 10 years of waiting, 10 years of becoming.
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  And during that time, God made me a promise that one day the table he had prepared
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  in my life would be ready.
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  And the man he had been preparing would be invited to sit down.
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  And friend, God keeps his promises.
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  Every tear, every waiting season, every lonely night finally made sense.
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  My story is one of complete redemption and restoration, beauty from ashes,
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  a crown completely restored.
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  And the same God who restored my heart, who broke my cycles,
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  who lifted my identity, who aligned my love life, can and will do it for you.
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  But it starts with you becoming the healed version of yourself,
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  the crowned version, the woman who knows who she is in Christ.
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  There is a version of you that you haven't met yet. And when you meet her,
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  she loves from a healed, whole, feminine place.
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  Her hands are open. Her heart is steady. Her spirit is aligned.
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  Her crown is fixed. And before God brings you a man to love you,
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  he wants to love you first.
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  He wants to carry the weight you've been trying to carry for yourself.
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  So today I'm going to give you four points to continue your royal training and
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  to reclaim your crown. Let's go.
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  Number one, surrender comes before love. Surrender is the doorway to every kind
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  of kingdom transformation.
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  Most women want God to bless their love life while still holding on to control.
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  Control over timing, access, emotional attachment, and outcomes.
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  But reclaiming your crown begins the moment you stop negotiating with God and
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  start trusting him fully.
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  I didn't heal because I learned how to date better. I healed because I laid
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  my desires, habits, cravings, and coping mechanisms on the altar.
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  I stopped asking God to fit into my plan and instead let him dismantle it.
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  Surrender feels like lost at first. It feels like letting go of attention,
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  comfort, familiarity, and even identity.
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  But what you're actually releasing is false safety.
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  God cannot heal what you refuse to hand to him.
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  Many women say they trust God, but only as long as they still get to steer.
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  Reclaiming your crown means choosing obedience over urgency and faith over fear.
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  Love doesn't arrive before surrender. Love flows from it.
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  The scripture I want to give you is trust in the Lord with all your heart and
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  lean not on your own understanding.
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  Proverbs 3 5.
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  Number two, God heals what the world exploits. The world is very good at exploiting unhealed places.
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  It teaches women to cope with pain by chasing validation, attention,
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  intimacy, and distraction.
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  Temporary relief is mistaken for connection, but it never leads to wholeness. God works differently.
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  He doesn't rush healing. He doesn't numb pain.
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  He transforms it. Where the world says, don't feel like that, replace it.
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  God says, bring it to me. Where the world rewards performance and desirability.
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  God restores identity and worth.
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  Healing with God often feels slower, quieter, and more uncomfortable.
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  But it is lasting. When women bypass God's healing process, they end up repeating
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  the same cycles with different faces.
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  Reclaiming your crown means allowing God to touch the wounds you've been hiding
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  behind busyness, relationships, or pleasure.
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  God doesn't exploit your pain for attention.
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  He redeems it for testimony. The scripture for this is, he heals the brokenhearted
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  and binds up their wounds.
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  Psalm 147.3. He means this, sis. He really does.
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  Number three, you cannot build kingdom love on survival patterns.
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  Survival patterns are learned behaviors formed in seasons of pain,
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  abandonment, fear, or unmet needs.
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  They once protected you, but they are not meant to lead you.
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  If you keep choosing from wounds, you will keep bleeding in relationships.
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  Attraction without healing often leads women back to the familiar dysfunction
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  disguised as chemistry.
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  What feels intense isn't always healthy.
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  Kingdom love requires a renewed mind. That means letting God expose patterns
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  like chasing emotionally unavailable men, tolerating inconsistency,
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  overgiving, or ignoring red flags in the name of hope.
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  Reclaiming your crown means recognizing that you don't need to survive love
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  anymore. You are allowed to be safe, chosen, and steady.
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  Healing breaks the agreement with chaos and teaches your heart how to recognize peace.
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  The scripture for this is, Do not conform to the pattern of this world.
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  Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
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  Romans 12.2 4.
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  The Father must be your first love.
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  Earthly love was never meant to carry the weight of your identity, healing, or worth.
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  When relationships become your source, they quietly become idols,
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  and idols always disappoint.
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  When God becomes your first love, everything else falls into alignment.
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  You stop looking to be completed and start relating from fullness.
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  Relationships shift from desperation to discernment.
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  A man is no longer your savior. A relationship is no longer your escape.
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  Love becomes a partnership, not a replacement for God.
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  When the Father fills that place you tried to fill with people, you stop settling.
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  You stop chasing. You stop shrinking. And you begin to attract relationships
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  that honor the woman you've become.
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  Seek him first and watch how he adds what aligns.
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  Scripture says, seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all
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  these things will be added to you. Matthew 6, 33.
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  So for your royal reflection today, I want you to ask yourself these three questions.
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  Where have I been looking for love instead of receiving it from God?
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  What patterns keep repeating in my relationships?
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  What would full surrender actually look like for me.
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  Journal this week with honesty. This is your royal pause. Not punishment, sis, but preparation.
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  Now, your call to action, your royal homework. Write a letter to God releasing
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  control over your love life.
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  Declare out loud, I reclaim my crown. I choose healing over habits.
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  Commit to one step, one of these steps of your royal transformation path.
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  Identity before intimacy.
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  I wrote us a royal declaration, so I want you to repeat after me.
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  I stand today as a daughter of the King, fully known, fully loved, and fully chosen by God.
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  I release every false identity, broken pattern, and misplaced alignment that
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  no longer serves His purpose for my life.
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  I reclaim my crown, my voice, and my authority through Christ,
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  who restores and leads me in truth.
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  I choose discernment over desperation, obedience over fear, and healing over familiarity.
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  I walk forward aligned with heaven, prepared for God-led love,
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  and committed to the legacy he is building through me.
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  Says, it's time to stand. It's time to rise into this truth because the God
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  who created you loves you more than you could ever love yourself.
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  And he has a future waiting for you that is greater than your wildest dreams.
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  Now, I wanna recommend a song that I just love. It really, really speaks to
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  my heart every time I listen to it.
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  It's called Make Room and it's by The Church Will Sing.
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  Listen to that praise and worship. Give God your heart first.
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  This is your royal return. You don't have to chase love anymore.
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  You don't have to prove your worth. You don't have to repeat the same cycles.
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  Healthy, God-led love begins with the Father and flows into every relationship afterwards.
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  I love you, sis. Until next time.
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  Sis, you did that. You showed up for your healing, and that is royal energy.
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  If this episode challenged you, grew you, or called you higher,
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  share it with another sister who's ready to reclaim her crown too.
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  And if you've got 30 seconds, it would bless me big if you'd leave a review on Apple Podcasts.
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  It helps more women step into their royal identity and join the Good Guys Society movement.
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  Until next time, keep your crown on, your standard tie, and your heart in royal alignment.