Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / How to Savor a Slice of Simplicity: Wisdom from an Enneagram Five

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How to Savor a Slice of Simplicity: Wisdom from an Enneagram Five · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

0:01
SPEAKER_02: Do you sometimes struggle with finding time to recharge?
0:05
SPEAKER_02: Are you challenged by the demands on your time and energy?
0:10
SPEAKER_02: Well, maybe you lead as a type 5.
0:13
SPEAKER_02: Or maybe you're just a mom.
0:15
SPEAKER_02: If you happen to be a type 5 or you'd like to get to know one better, I think you will appreciate today's conversation with my guest, Carissa Davis.
0:25
SPEAKER_02: She's going to share about motherhood from the perspective as a type 5.
0:29
SPEAKER_02: Enneagram 5s are often labeled as investigators.
0:33
SPEAKER_02: And while this is one of their character traits, there is so much more going on in their beautiful minds.
0:40
SPEAKER_02: And that's why this whole month I'm sharing stories from each Enneagram type and their perspective on motherhood, spiritual growth, and what it is they are really thinking.
0:50
SPEAKER_02: For this motherhood and Enneagram series, I've invited my personal friends, and today's guest is one of my favorite cousins through marriage.
0:58
SPEAKER_02: Chrissa Davis is a mom of three little kids, and she leads as a true Enneagram 5.
1:03
SPEAKER_02: I often hear from many of you that this is a type that you would like to get to know better.
1:08
SPEAKER_02: In this episode, Chrissa is going to share how the Enneagram has helped her to not limit her spiritual and relational growth opportunities.
1:16
SPEAKER_02: We also end up diving deep into the struggle for a five when it comes to their desire to be generous and their need to recharge, especially in seasons when motherhood challenges your resources.
1:27
SPEAKER_02: Chrissa also shares how she has learned to set boundaries on her researching tendencies, so she doesn't end up falling down the rabbit hole of information.
1:35
SPEAKER_02: Don't miss this part of the conversation.
1:39
SPEAKER_02: By the way, we've been talking on the socials, and it's apparent that you are all feeling a little stressed about the holiday overwhelm that is slowly creeping in.
1:48
SPEAKER_02: But this year I want you to take back Christmas and savor the sacred more this holiday season.
1:54
SPEAKER_02: I am offering five days to eliminate the overwhelm this Christmas.
2:00
SPEAKER_02: I've never offered something like this before, but for a small investment, you can be part of this community from November 16th through the 20th, where I'll be going live each day with practical advice and spiritual wisdom to help you solve the holiday stress.
2:14
SPEAKER_02: I am super excited about the breakthrough that you will experience and the powerful week we can have together.
2:21
SPEAKER_02: It's gonna be so good.
2:23
SPEAKER_02: You are the mom for the job, and I want you to love it.
2:27
SPEAKER_02: You can find out more at the link in the show notes.
2:34
SPEAKER_02: Hi, my name is Amy Wicks, and I love to talk about the gospel message your heart was created to hear.
2:41
SPEAKER_02: I'm a Christian Enneagram coach for moms who loves to share resources which help you be confident that you are the best mom for your kids.
2:51
SPEAKER_02: I'm a mountain mama who somehow ended up on a cul-de-sac in the Midwest.
2:56
SPEAKER_02: I was overwhelmed by motherhood, and I struggled to understand my true motivations.
3:01
SPEAKER_02: But the Lord didn't let me stay there.
3:04
SPEAKER_02: He helped me turn those challenging moments of motherhood into a wholehearted decision to get intentional with my faith, my marriage, and my kids.
3:13
SPEAKER_02: I share a broken-hearted perspective with story, but with wholehearted purpose and plans so you can live a life full of courage and abundance.
3:22
SPEAKER_02: Think of this podcast as your on-the-go mom pal and friend who can't help but talk about Jesus and the Enneagram.
3:29
SPEAKER_02: So get to that pile of laundry, or hit the treadmill, or load up the kids in the car for that grocery run.
3:36
SPEAKER_02: Get it ready to be encouraged and challenged while you listen.
3:40
SPEAKER_02: This is the Simply Wholehearted Podcast.
3:56
SPEAKER_00: You know, once I do it, I feel accomplished.
3:59
SPEAKER_00: Do something that, you know, puts me out of my comfort zone, but it's usually just like the, you know, like adding something to the calendar that I'm like, oh, yeah.
4:07
SPEAKER_02: Because this is precious nap time.
4:09
SPEAKER_02: Let's talk about that.
4:10
SPEAKER_02: I mean, as a mom, nap time is equal to happy hour.
4:14
SPEAKER_02: That's right.
4:15
SPEAKER_02: How do you use that time actually?
4:17
SPEAKER_02: Do you work on your business?
4:18
SPEAKER_02: Is that read a good book?
4:20
SPEAKER_02: Is it take a nap as well?
4:23
SPEAKER_00: So there have been times where I would put the kids to bed and then work on my business.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: And I always feel so accomplished when I do that.
4:30
SPEAKER_00: But recently I've just been reading just to calm my mind and do something that fills me up.
4:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:37
SPEAKER_00: Usually eat my lunch when they're sleeping and then read and it just recharges me.
4:43
SPEAKER_02: That's interesting you say that.
4:44
SPEAKER_02: So you eat your lunch.
4:45
SPEAKER_02: I cannot wait that long.
4:47
SPEAKER_02: Um is that because it's sacred to you and you want the space, you want the freedom, independence, autonomy?
4:55
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
4:55
SPEAKER_00: Why?
4:56
SPEAKER_00: Um, well, a lot of times the kids and I eat different things for lunch.
5:00
SPEAKER_00: So I'm like prepping their meals, and then by the time I make something for me, I want to actually and this sounds so silly, but I'm No, I want to hear this.
5:08
SPEAKER_00: Whereas a lot of times if I'm eating with them, I'm just like oh yeah.
5:14
SPEAKER_00: So I like to sit there and taste it and enjoy it, and then I read at the same time.
5:20
SPEAKER_02: Okay, this is so good because this shows me because my line of growth as a seven is to a five.
5:29
SPEAKER_02: And so I don't have enough healthy fives in my life, and it's so good to even hear this because the word that I know I need to grow in, or kind of like a theme I need to grow in growing, is savoring.
5:43
SPEAKER_02: And so what you just talked about is savoring.
5:45
SPEAKER_02: Because for me, I'll eat and multitask just to get the job done and to satisfy an immediate need instead of creating this space to savor.
5:56
SPEAKER_02: That's so good.
5:58
SPEAKER_02: You have so much wisdom.
5:59
SPEAKER_00: It's interesting just what we naturally gravitate towards because for me it's just a natural, you know, I need my space, I need my calm, I want to go slow.
6:09
SPEAKER_00: And you know, for Drew, food is fuel.
6:12
SPEAKER_00: So you just eat it and you move on and you're good.
6:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, grab a banana and go or whatever it is.
6:17
SPEAKER_02: I think that'd be a funny meme is talking about how moms of each Inneagram type consume their lunch and what that looks like because it would be very different and we could kind of learn from each other or understand why why people like you can wait two extra hours to eat.
6:34
SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, 10 30, can it be 11 o'clock already so I can eat lunch?
6:39
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I get hangry and then that's a problem.
6:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I guess a balance, right?
6:45
SPEAKER_02: For everything where the growth might be for you to be like, I'm gonna eat peanut butter and jelly today, so I'm a nicer mom.
6:52
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's good.
6:53
SPEAKER_02: I'm so glad we had this conversation, totally unscripted.
6:57
SPEAKER_02: I learned so much.
6:59
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I love it.
7:00
SPEAKER_02: Well, Krista, I'm so thrilled that you were willing to say yes.
7:03
SPEAKER_02: First of all, because I just really like you as a person.
7:07
SPEAKER_02: We happen to be related by marriage, and so that's how we're in each other's world, and you don't live that far, and we haven't seen enough of each other.
7:17
SPEAKER_02: You're just such a beautiful person, and I love that you have gone on an Enneagram discovery.
7:23
SPEAKER_02: I know it's been a process for you.
7:25
SPEAKER_02: So share a little bit of what that's looked like in discovering your dominant type and that you lead as a type five.
7:32
SPEAKER_00: Well, I try to keep the mindset that I don't want to be limited to a little box.
7:38
SPEAKER_00: So I know that growth means that I'm changing and I can I can branch out of that.
7:43
SPEAKER_00: But it has been really helpful to understand why I naturally do certain things.
7:49
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
7:49
SPEAKER_00: And one of those is that quiet time in the afternoon because Drew started working at home just with the whole COVID thing.
7:57
SPEAKER_00: And poor guy, like he would come downstairs and try to have a conversation during nap time, and I'm like, shh, shh, I can't talk.
8:05
SPEAKER_00: I can't talk.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: And that was kind of confusing for him because he's like, Well, I'm downstairs, like and I'm here.
8:13
SPEAKER_02: Don't you want to just naturally communicate with me?
8:16
SPEAKER_00: And he is my favorite person, and I love having him home, but that was kind of something for us to figure out because I do need that kind of decompression time after, you know, talking with kiddos all day.
8:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because you have three little kiddos, what are their ages?
8:32
SPEAKER_00: Libby is five and Maverick is three, and Thea is one.
8:36
SPEAKER_02: I can't believe it.
8:37
SPEAKER_02: And yeah, so you're in the thick of it.
8:39
SPEAKER_02: You've got a talker and an explorer, and then a, you know, everything's hazardous stage.
8:45
SPEAKER_02: So it's exhausting.
8:47
SPEAKER_02: I think that for a withdrawn type, which you do land in that stance, I have seen that the constant intimacy of motherhood can be the biggest strain and the biggest struggle because you need that autonomy, you need that space and that quiet.
9:01
SPEAKER_00: Yep, agreed.
9:02
SPEAKER_00: It's a stretching point because I can tell lately, the last couple of weeks, I have been putting more intentional time into reading books with the kids on my lap and really focusing on them and how much better their behavior is.
9:16
SPEAKER_00: So true.
9:17
SPEAKER_00: So that's such a great growing point for me that they do so good when I pour into them.
9:24
SPEAKER_00: And it's honestly a hard part of like being a mom is you have to kind of give up that quiet time and that relaxed time.
9:32
SPEAKER_00: And so that yeah, definitely big growth right there because that's hard.
9:36
SPEAKER_00: I want to dive into a book or hide in a corner for a minute, and that's just not good for them.
9:42
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, the constant needs there, it's so demanding, and it does go against your natural inclination, so it requires a ton of growth.
9:50
SPEAKER_02: And I do love that about you.
9:52
SPEAKER_02: You are constantly learning classic five.
9:55
SPEAKER_02: I see you really engage in information and content to understand, not just to consume, where I'm guilty of I sometimes just consume because it's fun.
10:04
SPEAKER_02: You really do seek to understand.
10:06
SPEAKER_02: I'm curious though, when you first heard about the Enneagram, was there uh, yeah, I don't, I don't know about this, uh, maybe skeptical, or as you mentioned, you know, something that's gonna maybe put me in a box.
10:19
SPEAKER_02: What was your first uh impression of it?
10:21
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm always intrigued by personality tests.
10:24
SPEAKER_00: I think they're really fun.
10:25
SPEAKER_00: So I really don't know enough, I mean, as much about it as I would like to, but you're right.
10:30
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm very fascinated by certain topics, and when something catches my attention, then I'm all in.
10:37
SPEAKER_00: So it has been really fun to talk to different friends and family in my life about you know guessing their number or if they know their number.
10:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
10:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that makes total sense.
10:48
SPEAKER_00: And it's been great just understanding Drew better.
10:51
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I bet.
10:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
10:53
SPEAKER_00: Just because different things that will come out or will happen, like, oh well, that's just I mean, he could sure there's things that he could work on, but it's also just the way he's wired or the way I'm wired, and that kind of creates sparks sometimes.
11:06
SPEAKER_02: It does.
11:07
SPEAKER_02: I imagine that for a type five, the reason why something a resource like the Enneagram would be really fun is because then you you can kind of get in the minds of other types and it's an exploring, learning, knowledge process where you're building that knowledge toolbox that as it relates in relationships in particular.
11:27
SPEAKER_02: How have you found, in particular with your kids, that you know, conflict or negotiation, training, all of that?
11:38
SPEAKER_02: How have you just come to understand that a little bit better with the help of the Enneagram as you navigate all of that with your kids and the various ages that they are?
11:47
SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm still trying to figure out what is normal kid behavior and then what is their true personality.
11:54
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
11:55
SPEAKER_00: Livy for sure has those firstborn characteristics of struggling with perfectionism, wanting everything to be exactly right.
12:03
SPEAKER_00: Maverick, number two, he wants to always be contrary.
12:08
SPEAKER_02: He's so cute.
12:10
SPEAKER_00: And that's just because he wants to be opposite from his sister.
12:13
SPEAKER_00: And then Thea totally falls into that, you know.
12:17
SPEAKER_00: Baby, she always wants attention, she always wants, you know, to make people laugh.
12:22
SPEAKER_00: So I don't know what their numbers are yet.
12:24
unknown: Yeah.
12:28
SPEAKER_00: They're not fives, I don't think.
12:30
SPEAKER_02: No, none of them strike me as type fives at all.
12:34
SPEAKER_02: I think the majority of them got the assertive nature of your husband.
12:39
SPEAKER_02: And I talk about that in a podcast, uh 162.
12:44
SPEAKER_02: It's actually an incredible guide that you can listen to in less than 30 minutes of how you maybe determine your kids' communication style, which is also known as stance.
12:54
SPEAKER_02: Even with kids as young as you have, you can begin to be a student of your child, dissect, especially.
13:00
SPEAKER_02: I mean, this is your jam of like, okay, so you know, how are they interacting with me?
13:05
SPEAKER_02: How are they interacting with each other?
13:07
SPEAKER_02: And through that, if you can just figure out their stance, it is so helpful to engage in conflict with them better, engage in training with them.
13:17
SPEAKER_02: Because I know for you in particular, with your oldest, that has been she is very opposite of you, and that has been a challenge.
13:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, she's adorable.
13:26
SPEAKER_00: I love her to death.
13:26
SPEAKER_00: She's so great.
13:27
SPEAKER_00: In some ways, I think there are things where we're similar, and maybe that what do you call it when an Enneagram number like connects across the diagram?
13:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so a line of growth and stress.
13:39
SPEAKER_00: So I think that we probably have lines that are similar or lines that touch.
13:45
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
13:45
SPEAKER_00: So in some ways, that can be really, really good, and then in some ways that can be a challenge.
13:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's true.
13:51
SPEAKER_02: I know I wouldn't be shocked if she landed as a seven or an eight somewhere in there, or maybe, you know, an eight-wing seven, seven-wing eight.
14:00
SPEAKER_02: And for you, your line of growth and stress is a seven and an eight.
14:03
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, both of those all really tie in.
14:06
SPEAKER_02: And I think you do find that with your kids when you have some connection points on that.
14:11
SPEAKER_02: It can be challenging, but it can also be really positive as they mature and grow, not only in their personality, but just as a human being and in their relationship with the Lord, that can be a strong point where you can be learning from one another.
14:22
SPEAKER_00: That is so cool.
14:23
SPEAKER_02: It is, it's really fun.
14:25
SPEAKER_02: You're such an intentional mama.
14:27
SPEAKER_02: You do an amazing job.
14:29
SPEAKER_02: I just love how you even integrate in this understanding and everything.
14:34
SPEAKER_02: It's so good.
14:35
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so I love to ask, give us a glimpse of, you know, like a day in the life of an Enneagram type five.
14:42
SPEAKER_02: Not just you as Krissa, which is unique in itself, but but kind of paint some of that picture because we may not lead as a type five, but we might have friends or getting to know people.
14:53
SPEAKER_02: Maybe we're even married to one.
14:54
SPEAKER_02: And, you know, it's great to consume the Enneagram for ourselves and for self-awareness, but I think the bonus comes in is when we consume it to help us understand others.
15:04
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, what does that look like for you day in, day out?
15:07
SPEAKER_02: What responsibilities you have?
15:09
SPEAKER_02: You kind of talked about lunchtime, which was very classic Enneagram 5.
15:14
SPEAKER_00: So I personally thrive in routine, and I think that's a really classic number five trait.
15:21
SPEAKER_00: So getting up at the same time in the morning is so valuable for me.
15:26
SPEAKER_00: My kids are really early risers, but when they were still confined to a crib, I loved to wake up, like I would set my alarm before they would wake up.
15:36
SPEAKER_00: That way I'd have 15 minutes, whatever amount of time it was by myself.
15:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that was so, so good.
15:43
SPEAKER_00: I'm out of that stage because now they can just hop out of bed.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: That was super valuable in the baby stage to just start the day off right.
15:51
SPEAKER_00: And I can do my quiet time first thing.
15:54
SPEAKER_00: And now it looks a little different.
15:56
SPEAKER_01: Right.
15:58
SPEAKER_00: Routine is super, super important because I like to have certain things done by a certain time of day.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times if it doesn't get done by then, then I feel stressed.
16:10
SPEAKER_00: Um silly stuff.
16:13
SPEAKER_02: Well, it's not silly, it's important to you, and it's what helps you thrive as a mom, you know, to feel like you're able to do this and the right balance.
16:21
SPEAKER_00: Right.
16:21
SPEAKER_00: Um, I like to have things fairly organized, and organizing is really fun for me.
16:27
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: Hopefully I don't drive my kids too crazy.
16:30
SPEAKER_00: Our house is still, you know, like very well lived in and oh yeah, own their spaces, but things have to be picked up.
16:38
SPEAKER_00: And if things are just exploded all over the house, I mean I can't go to bed like that.
16:44
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I want to, sometimes I wish that my body could relax.
16:47
SPEAKER_00: But and sometimes Drew has a hard time understanding that, like he's still cleaning.
16:53
SPEAKER_00: Well, it has to be.
16:54
SPEAKER_00: I can't do anything until the floor is clean.
16:56
SPEAKER_00: Right.
16:58
SPEAKER_00: And then sometimes I know I struggle with like an area that I want to grow in is generosity of time and treasures and talents.
17:10
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
17:11
SPEAKER_00: My weakness is to hoard those things.
17:14
SPEAKER_00: Like I want to protect my time, you know, I want to protect my resources, and that's just a natural, like I just want to hold on to things.
17:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
17:22
SPEAKER_00: So something that I know that I need to grow in as a five is to open my hand more when it comes to time, you know, really evident with my kids, but um, with the world around me, with my neighborhood, with my community.
17:37
SPEAKER_00: And so that's a huge area for growth, is just being intentionally generous and trying to make a point to do that.
17:44
SPEAKER_02: Wow, that's huge.
17:46
SPEAKER_02: I think that would be so hard for a five in particular.
17:49
SPEAKER_02: I'd love to hear your thoughts on this is that a five wakes up and even though they've been plugged in all night, they never really made it to 100% charge.
18:00
SPEAKER_02: And so they know throughout their day, like they're almost driven to try to figure out how they can plug in again.
18:07
SPEAKER_02: And that's the driving force is how can I get recharged?
18:10
SPEAKER_02: Because you never really got to 100% and you're quickly dropping in for you, you get at that 30, 40%, and that feels red line that that's danger zone.
18:22
SPEAKER_00: I think a lot of our routine, you know, I get up at the same time, we do breakfast around the same time, we have a routine when it comes to breakfast.
18:29
SPEAKER_00: Uh, we do school, we go outside, and I think going outside is a big recharge moment for the whole family because not only can my kiddos run and explore nature and get dirty and be louder and you know, just do a whole lot more things that you can do outside, but sometimes that's even a break for me.
18:48
SPEAKER_00: I still have to make sure that they're safe and they're treating each other well, but they're a little bit more engaged with nature.
18:57
SPEAKER_00: So that's a big part of our day is going outside and I can rest a little, it's just like a mental break for me to be outside.
19:05
SPEAKER_02: That makes so much sense.
19:06
SPEAKER_02: Tell me about spontaneity or you know, just making a last minute pivot or change.
19:13
SPEAKER_02: How does that feel for you?
19:14
SPEAKER_02: And what does that look like?
19:16
SPEAKER_00: So if I am in a healthy emotional space, it can be super exciting and fun.
19:21
SPEAKER_00: If I have had a bad day or you know, I'm just not in a healthy spot, then sometimes it can just feel like a little much, you know, feel like it's stretching me.
19:33
SPEAKER_00: So it totally depends on the day.
19:37
SPEAKER_00: I heard a funny little saying about how Enneagram fives always want to be invited to the party.
19:43
SPEAKER_00: Always, but they might not always show up, and that doesn't mean that you should stop inviting us because honestly, I would be kind of sad if I didn't get an invitation.
19:52
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely, it's rejection.
19:55
SPEAKER_00: I may not always show up, and that totally resounded with me because you know, I want to be invited and included, but sometimes I just can't make it there.
20:08
SPEAKER_00: I need some downtime.
20:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's a lot harder for you compared to all the other types to make that investment, not only of your time, but your energy so good, so profound, and you're so wise.
20:20
SPEAKER_02: Well, along those lines, I'm kind of curious what's been some other aha moments that you've had looking through the lens and having things articulated for you that maybe you never had before.
20:32
SPEAKER_00: A lot of times I, well, especially this year, I start going down like rabbit trails or these dark holes of knowledge or information.
20:42
SPEAKER_00: And that can just be overwhelming.
20:45
SPEAKER_00: Like I just fixate on a certain topic.
20:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
20:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm curious about, I'm interested in, but the true answer doesn't really benefit my life or anyone else's life.
20:55
SPEAKER_00: And so just kind of backing up sometimes from that and putting it all back into the its rightful spot.
21:01
SPEAKER_00: Like, hey, you know, I'm interested in whatever topic it is over here, but that doesn't actually change my purpose for life.
21:09
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't change my purpose in motherhood, it doesn't, you know, bless my marriage.
21:13
SPEAKER_00: It's just, you know, some rabbit trail about something that sparks my interest.
21:19
SPEAKER_00: So I've had to be really careful, and especially being on social media this year, putting some boundaries on that because I will just go down rabbit holes and it's not necessarily healthy for my mind or my emotions.
21:34
SPEAKER_00: So I've had to put some boundaries up, especially this year, just yeah that focusing my attention where it needs to be.
21:42
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's so good.
21:43
SPEAKER_02: Cause I do think that each of us are inclined one way or another about acquiring information.
21:50
SPEAKER_02: And you really named it well, or spelled out what's going on in your mind is that you research to get an answer.
21:57
SPEAKER_02: And when the answer cannot Be found or it really isn't beneficial, then we have to stop ourselves.
22:07
SPEAKER_02: It is a rabbit hole, literally.
22:09
SPEAKER_02: You jump onto Facebook and you can be just sucked into the stream and you're on, you know, your Internet Explorer page has 20 tabs open because it you clicked on one thing that led you to another, that led you to another.
22:23
SPEAKER_02: In this information age, it's a blessing and a curse, especially when you lead as someone who really desires to find the answer for, you know, to challenge the assumptions and to something that energizes me and I really enjoy researching things and being an expert in certain topics.
22:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
22:41
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes being an expert in a certain thing is not helpful for my life either.
22:45
SPEAKER_00: So just having to balance that out a little bit.
22:48
SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm kind of curious what things do you really love researching that are fun that you go, oh, I I would kind of call myself as becoming an expert in this or that.
22:59
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
23:00
SPEAKER_00: Well, this year I have, you know, talk talked about negative bunny trails just with current events and what we're seeing in our nation and what we're seeing around the world and politics, and that's where I can start going down these deep dark holes that I have some limits and boundaries in my life.
23:17
SPEAKER_02: Um so wise.
23:20
SPEAKER_00: Interesting, but not necessarily healthy for remembering.
23:24
SPEAKER_00: But I really enjoy like learning how to take care of my family naturally, learning how to, you know, support their bodies, keep them healthy.
23:31
SPEAKER_00: And so that's really, really fun for me too.
23:33
SPEAKER_02: Well, and you have done that.
23:34
SPEAKER_02: I'm just gonna put a plug in.
23:35
SPEAKER_02: You've done that through essential oils.
23:37
SPEAKER_02: And I know that there has been a growing interest, especially because of COVID, and we are looking for ways to stay healthy or to become healthy.
23:47
SPEAKER_02: What's that kind of look like for your family that you've integrated or that you're encouraging people right now?
23:51
SPEAKER_02: Because as we, you know, we're in October right now, we're going to be heading into the holidays, cold and flu season anyway.
23:58
SPEAKER_02: What are just some recommendations that you would have for other mamas out there?
24:01
SPEAKER_00: You know, we are the gatekeepers of our home.
24:04
SPEAKER_00: So just like control and I manage what my kids watch on TV.
24:09
SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm in control of what toys come into our home or even like who they play with.
24:14
SPEAKER_00: I really try to make sure that I know what they're eating and what they're putting on their body.
24:19
SPEAKER_00: You know, there's nothing wrong per se with sugar, but during this time of year, I really limit all those white sugars.
24:26
SPEAKER_01: That's good.
24:27
SPEAKER_00: It's hard for our body and our brain to process that stuff.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: We do tons of fruits, we're all about fruit, but you know, limiting that junk sugar because it doesn't benefit their body.
24:37
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
24:42
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, sugars, things that, you know, are gut inflammatories, you know, limiting like some milk sometimes.
24:49
SPEAKER_00: It just depends on, you know, each family.
24:51
SPEAKER_00: But we try to limit milk, we try to limit a lot of like white flowers and breads.
24:56
SPEAKER_00: The kids still eat them.
24:57
SPEAKER_00: Like I send Livy to her school on Tuesdays with a peanut butter sandwich every day, but I don't eat that every day, or she doesn't eat it every day.
25:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
25:06
SPEAKER_00: So just trying to be intentional with what they're eating, making sure they're getting real food and then making sure that the stuff that we use in our home is helping their body, not hurting their body.
25:17
SPEAKER_00: So that means that all of our body products are, you know, real natural ingredients from plants, and then we take care of them with essential oils too.
25:25
SPEAKER_00: So it's like plants, plants everywhere are gonna help us.
25:28
SPEAKER_02: That's right.
25:29
SPEAKER_00: You can't have too many plants.
25:31
SPEAKER_02: So I love it.
25:32
SPEAKER_02: It's so good.
25:33
SPEAKER_02: I love learning from you.
25:34
SPEAKER_02: I think there's a ton of wisdom.
25:35
SPEAKER_02: Like you said, moderation in the sense of, hey, what's realistic is for school.
25:40
SPEAKER_02: Pee Wee and J is in the lunchbox, but every other day, we can do all the other good stuff.
25:45
SPEAKER_02: That's awesome.
25:46
SPEAKER_02: I love it.
25:47
SPEAKER_02: Well, we did kind of touch on this before, but as I phrase it this way, what stresses you out most about being a mom or your role of in motherhood?
25:58
SPEAKER_00: Maybe that I won't give them everything that they need to succeed.
26:03
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
26:04
SPEAKER_00: And when I talk myself through that, I know that God absolutely gave me my three children for a reason.
26:12
SPEAKER_00: So I know that I'm their mother for a reason.
26:16
SPEAKER_00: So God wanted them to be in our family.
26:19
SPEAKER_00: Um, but also, you know, just all those fears of well, am I speaking the right words into their heart?
26:26
SPEAKER_00: Am I, you know, showing them the love and the patience of Christ?
26:30
SPEAKER_00: Like, am I beating rules and regulations into them or am I shepherding their heart so that they see their need for Christ?
26:37
SPEAKER_00: You know, are they learning the right things in school?
26:40
SPEAKER_00: Those kinds of things.
26:42
SPEAKER_02: I love it.
26:42
SPEAKER_02: That's so good.
26:43
SPEAKER_02: And you're doing some homeschool, which I think is very fitting.
26:46
SPEAKER_02: I love that you're doing it.
26:48
SPEAKER_02: Uh for you, is that just kind of a given?
26:50
SPEAKER_02: Like, of course I'm gonna homeschool because it's so much fun for me to learn.
26:55
SPEAKER_00: It's both.
26:56
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I really, really enjoy it, and there are also some difficult moments where you just have to take a deep breath and be patient.
27:06
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
27:06
SPEAKER_00: We're in the the phonics and the sounding out reading word stage, and I love to read, and my oldest loves being read too, but it's a little tricky right now.
27:19
SPEAKER_00: Just that portion of school is tricky.
27:21
SPEAKER_02: Totally making that transition and it requires oh so much patience.
27:26
SPEAKER_02: I love it.
27:27
SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm curious to know.
27:30
SPEAKER_02: We talked about before one of the beauties of the Enneagram is understanding our friendships, our our relationships.
27:36
SPEAKER_02: I mean, you've been a mom for several years now, you have a lot of mom friends.
27:40
SPEAKER_02: What's been a revelation for you in comparison as you've looked to how other people, parents and mother and what their style looks like as compared to you?
27:50
SPEAKER_00: A friend of mine has seven children.
27:55
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
27:55
SPEAKER_00: Also the gal who, you know, makes her own muffins every day.
27:59
SPEAKER_00: She makes her pizza dough from scratch, she makes her own cough drops.
28:03
SPEAKER_00: I mean, she's superwoman.
28:05
SPEAKER_00: And in my mind, I'm thinking, how on earth does she do this?
28:09
SPEAKER_00: And so I asked her, I said, How do you have time to do all of these things?
28:14
SPEAKER_00: And what she said was it just helped me grow so much.
28:18
SPEAKER_00: She said, you know, I can't have a perfectly clean kitchen when I go to start making muffins.
28:24
SPEAKER_00: I just have to do it through the chaos and through the mess.
28:27
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
28:28
SPEAKER_00: That was eye-opening for me because I like to have my kitchen clean when I start and you know, complete a task and put it away.
28:36
SPEAKER_00: And she said that's just not doable.
28:38
SPEAKER_00: Like if you have a lot of kids, you have a lot going on.
28:40
SPEAKER_00: You just have to do the things that you want to do in the midst of you know, a crazy craziness, yeah.
28:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that's so cool.
28:49
SPEAKER_02: It's really great because I imagine she's probably a seven or an eight and has all of that energy and can naturally intuitively brush it aside.
28:58
SPEAKER_02: And so to hear that and to go, okay, that may not look like your everyday, but every once in a while you can remember, oh, I can start making play-doh before everything is, you know, lunch is put away or breakfast is completely cleaned up, and I can just dive in because that's what my kids need or want or something to that effect.
29:16
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's good.
29:17
SPEAKER_02: I that's really good wisdom.
29:18
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
29:19
SPEAKER_02: I've learned to grow in like, hey, maybe I should put something away before I start something new.
29:25
SPEAKER_02: So we got all our growth needs.
29:29
SPEAKER_02: Oh man.
29:30
SPEAKER_02: Well, you're doing so great.
29:31
SPEAKER_02: We're at our final three questions, and it's kind of a rapid fire.
29:36
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, don't feel like you have to get the perfect answers.
29:38
SPEAKER_02: And I did prepare you for this, so no surprise questions here.
29:42
SPEAKER_02: I know that's important.
29:44
SPEAKER_02: But first of all, how would you describe in a word or a phrase of what it looks like to flourish as a type five?
29:51
SPEAKER_00: I think routine is key for me because you can plan ahead.
29:56
SPEAKER_00: There's confidence and and just like calm in a routine.
30:00
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, definitely I think routines are key.
30:02
SPEAKER_02: I think too, for a five in particular, that means you're planning margin.
30:08
SPEAKER_02: So you know when you can recharge again.
30:10
SPEAKER_02: And that would be really, really important as a mom.
30:13
SPEAKER_02: So I like the routine.
30:14
SPEAKER_02: And I love that I'm getting different answers each time that are so like, yes, that is so how you lead, and it's helpful to hear these answers.
30:23
SPEAKER_02: Okay, another one is what soul care routine has made you feel like you're thriving.
30:28
SPEAKER_02: And you shared maybe a little bit of this before, but something specific to that.
30:33
SPEAKER_00: Quiet time.
30:34
SPEAKER_00: I mean, just like whether that's you know, not engaging with people, just sitting there and, you know, like reading my Bible, doing my devotion.
30:45
SPEAKER_00: It's not really watching TV for me.
30:47
SPEAKER_00: That's not interest, but sitting there with a good book that just recharges so can you do that in a busy coffee shop or does it need to be in a space alone for you?
30:58
SPEAKER_00: I really like being in my house in a quiet spot.
31:02
SPEAKER_00: If I'm in a coffee shop, I do want to engage with people and make conversation.
31:06
SPEAKER_02: That's good.
31:06
SPEAKER_02: It absolutely makes sense.
31:08
SPEAKER_02: I know that you happen to like uh post coffee down the road from you, but that's more of a family event that you do, not necessarily for yourself.
31:17
SPEAKER_00: Yep, and it's fun to socialize.
31:18
SPEAKER_00: And I do like to talk to new people, and I think that's the social side of me.
31:24
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, yeah, I totally see that social side.
31:27
SPEAKER_02: I know that we've talked about before because one of your cousins, who's actually my husband's brother and therefore my brother-in-law, he also leads as a type five, but you both are a little bit more extroverted than your maybe classic.
31:41
SPEAKER_02: And I think that's where that social subtype comes in that gives like you guys are great people, but mostly because you're really great listeners.
31:50
SPEAKER_02: You do a good job, you ask good questions, and then you give people time to answer, which is you know, all of us need more of that in our lives, so it's it's so good.
32:00
SPEAKER_02: Okay, last but not least, uh, what has been a spiritual growth book that impacted you, maybe from a long time ago, and now suddenly you're going, oh, you know, that was kind of an Enneagram type five thing to really like it, or maybe something that you've read recently.
32:15
SPEAKER_00: Um, there was a book in man, I think the author's name is Trip um T-R-I-P, if I remember correctly.
32:21
SPEAKER_00: And it was called Shepherding a Child's Heart.
32:24
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
32:24
SPEAKER_00: And it was so impactful for me because a lot of times I just have rules and rules don't change anybody, right?
32:30
SPEAKER_00: The rule is just a line item.
32:32
SPEAKER_00: And the book was really eye-opening because I do not want to raise children that just follow the rules.
32:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
32:38
SPEAKER_00: Because rules don't change your heart.
32:40
SPEAKER_00: And the author equated it to being a whitewashed tomb.
32:43
SPEAKER_00: You can follow the rules on the outside, but if your heart isn't different on the inside, then you are just, you know, a whitewashed tomb.
32:51
SPEAKER_00: And we want changed hearts in ourselves and our children.
32:55
SPEAKER_00: So showing them that, you know, we're imperfect parents and then shepherding their heart so they see that they need a savior, they need Jesus, and rules don't lead us to the cross.
33:07
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, that's so good.
33:09
SPEAKER_02: I can see how it switches the formulaic mindset into the relational mindset and that it's a journey and a process, not just hey, like checking off the boxes.
33:22
SPEAKER_02: This has been so good, Krissa.
33:24
SPEAKER_02: I'm so grateful for you.
33:26
SPEAKER_02: I'm thankful that we got to have this little chat.
33:29
SPEAKER_02: I really think it's gonna bless others, and I'm excited to point people to your social media because you do help people figure out what essential oils might be best for them.
33:40
SPEAKER_02: And plus, your feed is so beautiful and engaging.
33:42
SPEAKER_02: And I know you don't have as much time these days to engage in that, but it's there and it's beautiful, and people can connect with you there.
33:50
SPEAKER_02: And maybe you're looking for a fellow type five who's a mom and you're like, hey.
33:57
SPEAKER_00: I feel like there aren't as many fives out there, at least I don't run into them as often.
34:02
SPEAKER_02: I do believe that they're harder to find.
34:04
SPEAKER_02: You almost have to go researching for them.
34:06
SPEAKER_02: And I don't know if that's a an initial for some of them feel leery and not as sure about the Enneagram, and so they're not conversing in that way, or it's just um they're introverted nature.
34:18
SPEAKER_02: So you gotta go find them.
34:20
SPEAKER_02: It's so good.
34:21
SPEAKER_02: Well, thank you, Carissa.
34:22
SPEAKER_02: I sure appreciate it.
34:24
SPEAKER_00: Thank you, girl.
34:25
SPEAKER_00: Love you.
34:25
SPEAKER_00: Talk to you soon.
34:27
SPEAKER_02: Y'all, wasn't this so great?
34:30
SPEAKER_02: There were so many wonderful insights about life as an Enneagram 5.
34:35
SPEAKER_02: I am really grateful that Carissa Davis was willing to share with us again, and I hope that you will check out her beautiful feed on Instagram at Davis Mission House.
34:45
SPEAKER_02: The healthy Enneagram 5s in my life remind me to slow down and savor the simplicity.
34:52
SPEAKER_02: Maybe you listened and you were wishing that you could talk to other moms who had the same struggles as you.
34:59
SPEAKER_02: I know that in 2020, meeting and gathering with other women has been really challenging.
35:04
SPEAKER_02: So while I put the final touches on Savor the Sacred Holiday Group, I've created an ebook from the perspective of motherhood as it relates to the Enneagram.
35:14
SPEAKER_02: I've packed it full of helpful information to not only understand your core fears and weaknesses, but also how each type is uniquely gifted for motherhood.
35:24
SPEAKER_02: Plus, I've shared specific challenges, reflection questions, and true statements that I use to lead my clients to more freedom in their life.
35:33
SPEAKER_02: You can easily read it on your phone or print it out and refer to it as we go through this special podcast series.
35:40
SPEAKER_02: I want you to know that you are the mom for the job, and I am here to champion you to love it.
35:46
SPEAKER_02: So until next time, continue to pursue perspective, purpose, and plans for a simply, wholehearted life.