Latest / I Am Wiser Podcast with Dr. Laura Purdy / Today, I Decide

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Today, I Decide · I Am Wiser Podcast with Dr. Laura Purdy

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: The three words most important words in the English language are today I decide.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: Today I decide when I wake up in the morning, am I gonna be a in a positive mindset or am I gonna be in a negative mindset?
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: Am I gonna be a victor or am I gonna be a victim?
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, we get to we get to choose every day which one we're gonna be.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: The victim or the victor.
• 0:24
  Dr. Laura Purdy: It's all about Welcome to the I Am Wiser Podcast, where the biggest questions in health care and wellness meet the collective wisdom of industry leaders and innovators.
• 0:34
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I'm Dr.
• 0:35
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Laura Curry, and here we explore the intersections of AI, care delivery, and telehealth policy.
• 0:43
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Through the lens of those who are reshaping healthcare.
• 0:47
  Dr. Laura Purdy: This is not just about theory, it's about lived experience and real industry insights.
• 0:53
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Let's dive in and get wiser together.
• 0:56
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Welcome to today's episode of the I Am Wiser Podcast with Dr.
• 1:00
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Lara Purdy, where we explore the moments of breakthrough, resilience, and reinvention that shape the way we live, lead, and care.
• 1:07
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I am thrilled today to welcome Richard Kaufman, known around the world as the Comeback Coach.
• 1:13
  Dr. Laura Purdy: He's a top-ranked podcaster, veteran advocate, author, and master resilience trainer who has gone from, as he calls it, dope dealer to hope dealer.
• 1:23
  Dr. Laura Purdy: His mission is to help people overcome adversity and reclaim their purpose, not with cliches, but with real stories and hard-earned wisdom.
• 1:32
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Richard reminds us that no matter how dark the road may seem, there is always a comeback waiting to be written.
• 1:40
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Welcome, Richard.
• 1:41
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Thank you so much for being here today.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for having me on your show, and thank you for coming on my show in 2022.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: And hopefully in 2026, you'll be on a new show.
• 1:53
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I'm ready.
• 1:54
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I'm ready.
• 1:54
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Well, I really appreciate you being here.
• 1:56
  Dr. Laura Purdy: You know, in the years of 2021, two, and three, actually, I transitioned out of the military in 2021.
• 2:02
  Dr. Laura Purdy: And that was when I started doing podcasts and starting to learn how to talk to people, how to talk about stories and how to talk about wisdom.
• 2:11
  Dr. Laura Purdy: And I'm excited to do this for myself.
• 2:13
  Dr. Laura Purdy: So thank you for accepting my invitation.
• 2:16
  Dr. Laura Purdy: So let's dive in.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's been truly my honor to be on your show.
• 2:20
  Dr. Laura Purdy: So okay, I was a veteran for 14 years, you were a veteran for 23 years.
• 2:24
  Dr. Laura Purdy: And when I hear master resiliency trainer, I think about master resiliency training.
• 2:31
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Did you do that army resiliency training with the hunt the good stuff and the dinosaur puzzles?
• 2:36
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Was that what you did when you were in?
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: That was part of my training, but I did a lot of the uh training when I got out of the military.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: I've been out of the military now 13 years, so I've spent a lot of time learning what resiliency is by having my own show, which now has almost 1600 episodes, talking about resilience.
• 2:59
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Oh my goodness, 1600 episodes.
• 3:01
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Well, I think you're maybe episode 18 or 19 for me.
• 3:05
  Dr. Laura Purdy: So I'm excited to have such an experienced podcaster on the show.
• 3:09
  Dr. Laura Purdy: So let's talk about resiliency.
• 3:12
  Dr. Laura Purdy: How did you become so passionate about the concept of resilience enough to make you want to become known as the comeback coach and develop essentially a second career all about resiliency?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: Well, if it wasn't for Gary Vaynerchuk, um I would not be known as the comeback coach.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: He actually came up with the name, he actually came up with the podcast, he told me to write a book.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: So if it wasn't for Gary Vaynerchuk, Gary V, I wouldn't be what I'm doing, what I'm doing today.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um, well, my theory is I'm just too dumb to quit.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: And and I figure that there's a lot of people out there, especially military, we don't like to quit.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: So we have to learn to become resilient.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: And when we get out, unfortunately, a lot of us struggle with finding a purpose and finding a mission again.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: So that's why I started the podcast.
• 4:04
  Dr. Laura Purdy: My goodness.
• 4:05
  Dr. Laura Purdy: So too dumb to quit, but acknowledging that you need to still have a mission.
• 4:09
  Dr. Laura Purdy: When the mission is over, the one that you serve for, we still have to have a mission that drives us to be able to have impact or to do things for the world.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because combat coach.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: In the military, we knew what our job was.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: We knew what we had to do every day.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: We had to wake up, do PT, we had to be in formation at a certain time.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, when you get out of the military, we don't have that.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: We don't have our camaraderie, we don't have our friends, we don't have a mission anymore.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of us end up looking at the bottom of a bottle or the end of a barrel.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: So my my mission is to save as many lives as I can by talking about resiliency.
• 4:53
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I love that.
• 4:54
  Dr. Laura Purdy: When you transitioned out, so you said 13 years ago, when you transitioned, were there any resources available?
• 5:01
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Did you have to learn the hard way?
• 5:02
  Dr. Laura Purdy: How how did what did you do when you integrated into civilian life?
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I got hurt on duty and I lost 80% of my vision.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um and they they medically discharged me uh Labor Day 2012.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um that was a day that I had to feel.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: And the reason was because well, if I'm not Sergeant Kaufman, who am I?
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: Because they told me that, you know, you're no longer Sergeant Kaufman.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: Well, for 23 years I've been building that Sergeant Kaufman, and now you're telling me I know I'm no longer that thing anymore.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that was the day I attempted suicide and failed, thank God.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um but it was also that day that remind that let me know, well, there's other people that are struggling out there.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: There's other veterans struggling with not having that identity anymore and not having a mission.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: And that's when I doubled down on the podcast to start talking to people that help them find a mission again.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: So really it was therapeutic resources, but back then I don't think it is like it is today.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, they give you certain classes like taps and stuff like that, but uh I don't think it I was mentally in the space ready for those resources.
• 6:21
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Because you were still grieving.
• 6:23
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I mean, you were very much grieving that moment, the loss of your career, the loss of your vision, the loss of your stability, your future retirement.
• 6:30
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I mean, I guess medically retired is a type of retirement, but it's not the same as the achievement of working 20 years and retiring as staff sergeant or master sergeant or first sergeant or sergeant major.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: My goal, ma'am, my goal was that my goal was to do 30 years.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: That would that was the ultimate goal.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: And then to go from one day being uh soldier of the year to the next day not being able to get something out of the refrigerator.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: You know, have having your wife walk you around the house and then you know losing your your vision and then losing your career.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: It w it was a lot of grieving going on.
• 7:11
  Dr. Laura Purdy: At that time it felt like you had lost everything.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I had to rebuild and I had to reinvent and reimagine my life all over again from from literally from nothing, uh less than zero, because it's it took forever to get in the VA system.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: So it took me forever to just to get back to to get back to zero.
• 7:35
  Dr. Laura Purdy: From from the loss, from the hit that you took with the negative of losing, losing, losing, losing, and not really having the support to get there.
• 7:43
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Well, let me ask you this question.
• 7:45
  Dr. Laura Purdy: What would today, Richard?
• 7:47
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Let's talk about wisdom.
• 7:48
  Dr. Laura Purdy: What would today, Richard, say to 13 years ago, Richard, looking that moment in the face, staring that moment in reality with the loss, with the grief, with the having your wife walking you around the house and not being able to get to the refrigerator to take food out?
• 8:04
  Dr. Laura Purdy: And you're no longer gonna be command sergeant major, right?
• 8:08
  Dr. Laura Purdy: You're you're gonna be disabled veteran, right?
• 8:12
  Dr. Laura Purdy: At least in the moment.
• 8:13
  Dr. Laura Purdy: What piece of wisdom would today you give 13 years ago you on this side of things?
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: Well, there's actually two.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: And um well, number one is I know it sounds cliche, but um it's okay not to be okay.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's it's okay to struggle, it's okay to to grieve the process, it's okay to uh realize where you're at and accept where you're at.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: And then the second one is the three word most important words in English language are today I decide.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: Today I decide when I wake up in the morning, am I gonna be a in a positive mindset or am I gonna be in a negative mindset?
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: Am I gonna be a victor or am I gonna be a victim?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, we get to we get to choose every day which one we're gonna be.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: The victim or the victor.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's all up to us.
• 9:13
  Dr. Laura Purdy: It's okay not to be okay.
• 9:15
  Dr. Laura Purdy: And today I decide.
• 9:20
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Let's go a little deeper.
• 9:21
  Dr. Laura Purdy: When you and you're right, it is, I mean, it's okay that it's cliche, but you know what?
• 9:25
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I'm happy that it's cliche.
• 9:28
  Dr. Laura Purdy: You and I served at the same time.
• 9:30
  Dr. Laura Purdy: We had a six or seven or eight year overlap, and I remember a time, and specifically I'm talking about being in the military.
• 9:38
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I remember a time when it was not okay to not be okay, especially in the early years of the war, in the early 2000s.
• 9:47
  Dr. Laura Purdy: There were people getting discharged because they were in those first handful of years when things were pretty ugly.
• 9:52
  Dr. Laura Purdy: You know what I'm talking about.
• 9:53
  Dr. Laura Purdy: And it was not okay to not be okay.
• 9:58
  Dr. Laura Purdy: And people were afraid for their careers, they were afraid for their promotions, they were afraid for their families and their paychecks and their benefits because they were pretty messed up physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, because of the things that were happening at that time.
• 10:11
  Dr. Laura Purdy: And it was not okay to not be okay.
• 10:14
  Dr. Laura Purdy: And thankfully, by the time I got out, so I got in at 07 and I was out in 2021, I got to live through that transition when it went from not okay to yeah, it is okay not to be okay.
• 10:26
  Dr. Laura Purdy: And working for the WTU for three years, I got to see a lot of people get retained, actually.
• 10:32
  Dr. Laura Purdy: When it was mental, you know, behavioral health, if they had PTSD or depression, or even sometimes wanting to take their own lives.
• 10:40
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Thankfully, there were resources available that a lot of those people got to be retained if they could and continue on to be productive.
• 10:47
  Dr. Laura Purdy: But how how did you how did you get to that?
• 10:51
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Because I know you must have been a part of that time when it was not okay to be not okay, and now you're here saying it is okay to not be okay.
• 11:00
  Dr. Laura Purdy: How how did you get to that?
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, when I was in, I don't I don't I don't think it was called the Warrior Transition Unit at the time.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um I I forget what it was called, but uh for about 18 years old.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: I was in I was in that where I had to go to drill every every month and just sit there for all drill and do nothing, play cards or or play poker or or chess.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I got sick of it after the first week.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: And every time I went to drill, I was getting books, I was reading books by Gary Vaynerchuk, by Robert Kiyosaki, uh Tony, you know, listening to uh motivational tapes, and that's when I realized, you know, there's a much bigger world out there than we actually think that there is out there.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: And that's when I started listening to podcasts, and I started listening to Gary, got to meet Gary, hang out with him for a while.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um and but the first guest I've ever had on the show, he was a gentleman, he lost both his arms and his legs.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: But he as I'm interviewing him, his wife is holding up the phone to his ears, because he's sitting in a jacuzzi in aspen, because he just got done skiing.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, wow, if if he can do if he can do that, you know, uh just just because I'm 80% blind at this point, you know, why can't I do more than I'm doing?
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: And that's when the podcast first started.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, it's just interviewing people, like a gentleman, uh one of my clients, his name is Aaron Hale.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: He's blind and he's deaf, and he just ran to Bad Water 135 and almost beat David's Goggett's time, being blind and being deaf.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: So when you know you talk to people like that, it gives you gives you hope to realize if I can get through this, anybody can get through this.
• 13:05
  Dr. Laura Purdy: We can do whatever we decide we can do.
• 13:08
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Yeah, you know, we can decide.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if I wake up and I'll be like, I really don't feel like you know, eating watching my diet or eating right today or taking my pre-workouts, I just look back and I'll be like, what would Aaron Hale do?
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: You know, what would he do?
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I know he's out there, he's getting ready to Kilimanjaro next year, and he's blind and he's deaf.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: So if if he can do stuff like that, why can't we do do more than what we think we can do?
• 13:38
  Dr. Laura Purdy: That's right.
• 13:40
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I'm feeling motivated now.
• 13:41
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Just I'm I feel like I'm ready for a comeback.
• 13:43
  Dr. Laura Purdy: This is awesome.
• 13:45
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I'm feeling super motivated.
• 13:47
  Dr. Laura Purdy: But I think it's really interesting that what I'm hearing you say is that that to get to that point, you had to be open.
• 13:56
  Dr. Laura Purdy: You had to be willing to hear what other people were saying.
• 14:00
  Dr. Laura Purdy: And I know a lot of veterans that for the lack of a better word, that they they're pretty hard, right?
• 14:05
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Like they have this hard exterior, their walls are up.
• 14:08
  Dr. Laura Purdy: And of course, we say you have to be ready to change.
• 14:11
  Dr. Laura Purdy: The change starts with you and you have to agree to it, but it sounds like you were pretty open, you were pretty willing to hear what the people had to say because yes, there is a whole world out there and there's a lot of advice to be received.
• 14:23
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Did you did you have any pride that you had to break down, or did you have walls that were up that you had to deconstruct in order to hear what these people were having to say?
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: Well, when you're when you're blind, uh you don't have a whole lot of pride.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: You you kind of you've kind of you and I was probably one of the most arrogant, prideful people ever.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but you know, once I lost everything, uh I lost I I you know I lost my vision.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um but thank God I have I had my bride, my beautiful bride, um she she she kept me on track and she she got me on the healing track.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, when you're when you're blind, you really don't have pride because you you literally have to ask, can I get some bread?
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, can I can you get me something out of the refrigerator?
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: Can you take me to the bathroom?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when when you don't have when you don't have your vision, it's hard to be prideful.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: So that that wasn't an issue.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: Uh after, you know, if I I got very I believe God humbles you, humbles us in in certain ways, and and he did humble me.
• 15:32
  Dr. Laura Purdy: So it was easy, relatively speaking, for you to say, can you help me?
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: Well for 18 months, we literally sat in a chair blind for 18 months.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: So the only time I got up was to go to the bathroom and to get back in the chair and go to bed.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: So for 18 months, uh I I sat there and did nothing but listen to podcasts, uh, audiobooks, you know, whenever I can get even on the TV, I would I would listen to is listen to positive stuff.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: And then somebody, a friend of mine, she's a a military veteran, Tammy Moses, she texted me one day and said, Hey, you're the comeback coach.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's time for you to come back.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, damn, I got called out like that.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: And that that's all right, coach.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so that was the day that I hit record, and I uh because I had uh I had a phone, so even if I could just hit the record on um it wasn't Spotify, it was Anchor back then.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: I could just hit the record hit record button and start recording podcasts, and that's what I did.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: That's where it all started from is that one phone call.
• 16:43
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Shout out to Tammy for giving you a taste of your own medicine, huh?
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, you're the comeback coach, it's time for you to come back.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_01: So now, you know, 13 years later, I think I five or eight surgeries uh later, uh, I'm able to drive again, thank God.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I'm able to take my my kids to school.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm able to do these things.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: So God's working in my life.
• 17:06
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I love to hear that.
• 17:08
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Wow, okay.
• 17:09
  Dr. Laura Purdy: So wisdom number one, there it is.
• 17:11
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Wisdom number two, here we go.
• 17:13
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Today I decide.
• 17:18
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I decide.
• 17:19
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Okay, not my physical condition, not the people that tell me what I should decide, not the circumstances, not the society, not the world, not the disasters, not the tragedies, not the crisis, not the trauma.
• 17:35
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I decide today.
• 17:38
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Tell me more about the significance of that statement in your life.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: I actually had uh every year we do a today.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: I decide mental health summit, and I have different speakers come in and talk about you know mental health.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: And it was when I was getting ready for one of those speeches that it came out, came out, you know, today I I decide.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: I can either wake up in a good mood or wake up in a bad mood.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be up to me.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: You know, whatever my day consists of, like when I wake up in the morning, if I can see something, I sit, I sit up in bed and I say, Thank you, Lord.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: Today's gonna be an amazing day.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what you got planned for me, but today's gonna be an amazing day.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: So even if I didn't sleep good the night before because you know, uh PTSD and stuff like that, even if I wake up in the morning before my heat feet hit the ground, I'm like, I'm in, I'm in gratitude.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, you know what, Lord, whatever you got planned for me, that it's gonna happen today.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm excited for today.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: So if you wake up in gratitude and you go to bed in gratitude, your day is gonna be so much better, you know, because you're you're you're getting to decide how your day is gonna start.
• 18:53
  Dr. Laura Purdy: And there's a piece of wisdom in there too.
• 18:54
  Dr. Laura Purdy: We can be grateful for what we do have instead of have angst.
• 19:02
  Dr. Laura Purdy: What's the word?
• 19:03
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Instead of complain about what we don't.
• 19:05
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Because either way, our circumstance is the same.
• 19:08
  Dr. Laura Purdy: We still have what we have and we don't have what we don't have.
• 19:11
  Dr. Laura Purdy: And we can either choose gratitude or we could choose complainitude.
• 19:15
  Dr. Laura Purdy: What's the opposite?
• 19:16
  Dr. Laura Purdy: What's the opposite of gratitude?
• 19:18
  Dr. Laura Purdy: But it's which one we choose that determines our outcome and our mindset for the day.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, again, like before I go to bed every night, I wrap my arms around my wife, I pray for my wife.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, then I then and then I say I think of three things that happened during my day that I'm grateful for.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: So when I, you know, if I go to bed and I'm in gratitude and I wake up in gratitude, my life's gonna be so much better.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's a life hack for certain people.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: You know, just think of three things that happened during your day that you're grateful for.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you you got to kiss your child.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you know, you you got to hang out with your wife and and watch TV while she made an amazing meal.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: You know, little things like that, if you go to bed with gratitude, you're gonna wake up with gratitude.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: And and gratitude and anger cannot occupy the same space.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: So you gotta pick which one you want.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: Gratitude or anger.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta pick one.
• 20:16
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Can't have both.
• 20:17
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Can't have both.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: Nope.
• 20:20
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Richard, is this what it's like to be one of your one of your coaching clients?
• 20:24
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Is this what it's like to be the comeback coach full of positivity and gratitude and and life hacks that make every day happier and more joyful?
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it depends.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: Depending on the day.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I love it.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: If I'm not the easiest person to be coached by, um, especially being prior military, we don't accept a lot of BS.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, I'll I'll I'll I'll call you out on your BS if if I think that if you're slacking, I could be like, hey bro, you're effing up, you know, uh it's time for you to you know start stepping up a little bit.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm not the easiest person, but one of my downfalls is I care about your success sometimes a little bit more than you care about your success.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you're successful, then I'm gonna be successful.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't want to put my name on any anybody that's not gonna be successful.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, most of my clients, they're all successful, they're crushing it in life now.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_01: But I still I'll still reach out to them and be like, hey bro, just thinking about you.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: Just want to let you know you're loved and appreciated.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I think there's that's the difference between being a coach and being a great coach is that you actually care about the people that are that you're working with.
• 21:48
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I love you, I appreciate you.
• 21:50
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Don't screw it up.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: In the military, we can be like, hey, bro, you're fucking up.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: So and I but I I tell people ahead of time, I'm not the cheapest coach, I'm not the easiest coach, but if you want results, you don't want cheap and you don't want easy.
• 22:10
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Wait, it's the it's that it's that rule, right?
• 22:13
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Fast, cheap, good.
• 22:15
  Dr. Laura Purdy: You can have two of the three, but you can't have all three, right?
• 22:18
  Dr. Laura Purdy: So they get access to you, you're really good, but you may not be the cheapest.
• 22:23
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Yeah.
• 22:24
  Dr. Laura Purdy: And quite frankly, good mentorship that really cares about you and is not just involved in their own self-interest.
• 22:32
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Now that is a mentor worth paying for.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, like like I paid my mentors, Mr.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: John Lee Dumas, Entrepreneurs on Fire.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: I've I I paid dearly to learn from that man.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: And he actually wrote the whole back cover of my book.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: But I paid to learn from that man, and it was worth every single penny.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: So if you there's a difference between cost and price.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I and I tell everybody, you know, what is it going to cost you not working with me?
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: Or what is the price of working with me?
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: Today I decide.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: Make you know, you it's up to you.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_01: You can hire any coach you want to cook.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: You could hire anybody, but you want to make sure that somebody has actually been there, done that, got the t-shirt and threw it away.
• 23:20
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Well, tough love is still love.
• 23:22
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I don't think I ever heard one single person reflect back on a mentor who changed their life or who made them think differently about the world and said, Yeah, he was so nice to me, and he always told me what I wanted to hear, and I always felt like he was my best friend, and he never made me cry.
• 23:38
  Dr. Laura Purdy: No, nobody talks about their mentors like that.
• 23:41
  Dr. Laura Purdy: It takes that tough love to help drive change.
• 23:46
  Dr. Laura Purdy: So I love that you're out there giving that tough love.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, even the greatest like Tom Brady wants to be coached up.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, they love to be coached up.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that coaches need coaches to coach them up.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're a coach and you don't have a coach, you have a problem.
• 24:08
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Coaches need coaches to coach them up.
• 24:10
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I love that.
• 24:11
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I mean, I so a good analogy for that is I'm a business owner, right?
• 24:14
  Dr. Laura Purdy: As a business owner, I need business mentors to help me figure out what I'm screwing up in my business because nobody who works for me and probably nobody who works with me as a vendor or a client is gonna tell me what I'm doing wrong and where my blind spots are.
• 24:28
  Dr. Laura Purdy: So we all have to have somebody who's better, smarter, more successful, more wise than us to look back at us and say, hey, here's where you're screwing up, pretty.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_01: And it's never gonna be anybody that's lower than you that's gonna tell you what you need what you need to hear.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's always gonna be somebody that's where you want to get that's gonna tell you where you what you need to do to get to their their position.
• 24:54
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Here's a here's a good one for you, Richard.
• 24:56
  Dr. Laura Purdy: So, like I said, I'm a business owner, I've had a lot of vendors.
• 24:59
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I've asked, I've hired a lot of people who are experts in things that I'm not experts in to try to give me advice on things I don't know anything about.
• 25:07
  Dr. Laura Purdy: And I've paid a lot of price, but had, what was the other one, but had not a lot of worth in that.
• 25:13
  Dr. Laura Purdy: So paid a lot of price for very little worth.
• 25:16
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I'm using your words.
• 25:18
  Dr. Laura Purdy: So if somebody's looking for a coach, what are maybe two or three things that they can look for in a coach, regardless of price, that will deliver worth or value?
• 25:30
  Dr. Laura Purdy: What makes a good coach?
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: Have they done what you want to do?
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if if you're an 18-year-old kid and you're telling me you're a life coach, uh, I'm not exactly gonna believe you because you haven't actually been there or done that.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: If you're if you have never been married, don't tell me you're you're you're a marriage coach.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you have no idea what you're talking about.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: So it like for me, if somebody's looking for a podcast, host, a coach, you know, okay, I I've got three million downloads, 1600 episodes, you know, I've been there, I've done it.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I'm not gonna hire somebody that has not been there, has not done that.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: And and I think a lot of it is what other people say about that coach.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, um you can reach out to any of the people that I've coached and they'll tell they'll tell you about me.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_01: Because I believe that a leader, I don't ever call myself a leader at all, never will, or, or an influencer.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_01: But you know, I believe that in all in order to be a leader, so to say, you have people want to be led by you.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: People want to have worked with you.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know, talk to people that have worked with you as as a as a as a as a coach, as a client.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: Because people that have no longer work with you, they're the ones that are going to be honest with you.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and I'm still friends with every client I've ever worked with.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_01: I'm still friends with all of them.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a difference between, you know, being a coach and being a good coach.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's one of the things is you know, even Gary Vaynerchuk says one of the best business principles is care.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: Make sure you care about people, make sure that you love on them, make sure you know that hey, you know, we not we we may not be working together anymore.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_01: That doesn't mean I'm not here for you.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: My phone's always on for you.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so I think that those are some important things to look at.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking for a coach, somebody that cares, somebody's got client testimonials that you can actually reach out and talk to these people, not just, oh, John D said that I was great.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know, well, no, here's Jerome Spearman Jr.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_01: Get in touch with him, you can talk to him one-on-one, and then ask about me.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I think you know, make sure that you're verifiable.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_01: Make sure you're just not telling a story.
• 27:55
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Yeah, anybody can be whoever they say they are, but you have to have done it, you have to be there, and you have to have real-world proof.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta prove it.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_01: I think the biggest flex is when you just say to somebody, Google me.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's like the biggest flex.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because you can just like if you Google vertical momentum podcast, we're on the first eight pages of Google.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: So if you just Google us, then you'll know all about us.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have to say anything.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's there.
• 28:27
  Dr. Laura Purdy: It says itself.
• 28:28
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Yeah.
• 28:30
  Dr. Laura Purdy: And there's a lot of humility in that, right?
• 28:32
  Dr. Laura Purdy: You don't have to brag on yourself.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_01: No, like I said, uh, and I think part of being successful is being humble and being teachable.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_01: So you can't be a braggart and also be humble at the same time.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I forget.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: I I I wish I remember who said it.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: They they said um um heroes get talked about.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um I mean, heroes talk about themselves, but legends get talked about.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: So I'd rather be a legend and be talked about than be a hero and talk about myself.
• 29:06
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I love it.
• 29:09
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Wow.
• 29:10
  Dr. Laura Purdy: You are a legend.
• 29:11
  Dr. Laura Purdy: You're a total legend, the comeback coach.
• 29:13
  Dr. Laura Purdy: So, Richard, listen, we have come to the end of our segment, and I really appreciate you being here with me today.
• 29:21
  Dr. Laura Purdy: There's so much wisdom shared, and I feel like that's really all you have to share is wisdom.
• 29:26
  Dr. Laura Purdy: And every two or three sentences that comes out of your mouth is full of some kind of wisdom that can make other people better and help other people help themselves improve their lives and make their comebacks.
• 29:38
  Dr. Laura Purdy: So I hope that people are feeling encouraged by listening to this.
• 29:41
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I hope they're feeling inspired, uplifted.
• 29:44
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Um, I hope they're feeling gratitude.
• 29:46
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I hope there's attitude of gratitude from listening to our show.
• 29:50
  Dr. Laura Purdy: And I want to give you a moment just to brag on yourself, just a little bit.
• 29:53
  Dr. Laura Purdy: I know we can Google you, everybody can Google you, but also where can we find you?
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: Well, if you if you look up Vertical Momentum Podcast, we're on the first eight pages of Google.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so you can always get in touch with me there on any of my platforms, direct message me.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's always me.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have a VA for that.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_01: I answer all my own emails and direct messages, but I want to offer something to your to your audience.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: If anybody gets in touch with you and sends me their email, they'll get my book for free.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_01: They'll get a free copy of my book for free.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_01: An hour of coaching for free.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, whatever they want to be, if they want to be coached on life, if they want to be coached on podcasting, they get an hour coaching call from me.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_01: No upsells, no down sells, just an hour of my time to spend time with your audience.
• 30:41
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Thank you.
• 30:43
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Thank you.
• 30:43
  Dr. Laura Purdy: There's so much value in that.
• 30:45
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Thank you, everybody.
• 30:46
  Dr. Laura Purdy: You heard it right here from the Comeback Coach.
• 30:48
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Thank you so much, Richard, and I guess I'll talk to you in 2026.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_01: Have a great week.
• 30:55
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Hi, you too.
• 30:56
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Thank you for tuning in to the I Am Wiser Podcast, where each episode brings us closer to a wiser, more human approach to healthcare.
• 31:05
  Dr. Laura Purdy: If today's conversation inspired you or sparked new ideas, share it with someone who's ready to rethink healthcare.
• 31:13
  Dr. Laura Purdy: And if you have a story or innovation that could light the way for others, reach out.
• 31:18
  Dr. Laura Purdy: We'd love to hear from you.
• 31:20
  Dr. Laura Purdy: This space is yours too.
• 31:21
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Don't forget to follow, rate, and review us on your favorite platform.
• 31:26
  Dr. Laura Purdy: Until next time, stay curious, stay courageous, and stay wiser.