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Salty Sweet · Aaron Mahnke's Cabinet of Curiosities

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  Speaker 1: Welcome to Aaron Manke's Cabinet of Curiosities, a production of
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  Speaker 1: iHeartRadio and Grimm and Mild. Our world is full of
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  Speaker 1: the unexplainable, and if history is an open book, all
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  Speaker 1: of these amazing tales are right there on display, just
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  Speaker 1: waiting for us to explore. Welcome to the Cabinet of Curiosities.
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  Speaker 1: If there's one thing that I love, it's stories about cryptids. Bigfoot, Mothman,
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  Speaker 1: the Lochness Monster. These creatures are more than just legends.
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  Speaker 1: There are archetypes that have persisted throughout time, the culmination
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  Speaker 1: of centuries of folklore. Even if you don't believe there's
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  Speaker 1: actually a Bigfoot scampering around the Pacific Northwest, he can't
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  Speaker 1: deny that his image, the half ape, half man creeping
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  Speaker 1: through the forest is culturally significant. But if Bigfoot is
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  Speaker 1: an aless celebrity in the cryptid world, there are tons
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  Speaker 1: of other weird creatures playing supporting roles. The Yetti, the chupacabra,
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  Speaker 1: the Jersey Devil, and one you've probably never heard of,
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  Speaker 1: the squonk. According to legend, the squonk is native to
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  Speaker 1: the hemlock forests of Pennsylvania. Unlike many fearsome folkloric creatures.
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  Speaker 1: The squonk poses no threat to humanity. It's small, slow,
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  Speaker 1: and remarkably dumb. It's also pretty easy to hunt. An
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  Speaker 1: account published in nineteen twenty six tells the story of
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  Speaker 1: a famous American finding his very own squonk. As the
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  Speaker 1: story goes, Paul Bunyan and his men were in a
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  Speaker 1: Pennsylvania forest chopping down timber when they heard and I quote,
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  Speaker 1: queer wailing some distance away. Curious, they followed the sound.
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  Speaker 1: Eventually they noticed a trail on the ground, a wet,
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  Speaker 1: salty residue left behind by something. The noise and the
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  Speaker 1: trail led those loggers to a little den in the woods,
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  Speaker 1: built out of dirt and leaves. They peered inside and found,
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  Speaker 1: I'm sorry to say, a creature that can only be
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  Speaker 1: described as utterly repulsive. Its wrinkled skin was marked with
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  Speaker 1: moles and warts. Its feet were webbed, but only on
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  Speaker 1: the left side, giving it a distinctly asymmetrical appearance. Essentially,
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  Speaker 1: it was like a weird, saggy, slightly amphibious pig. But
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  Speaker 1: the worst part of all, the squonk was self aware.
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  Speaker 1: It seems that that noise that Paul Bunyan and his
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  Speaker 1: buddies heard was the sound of the squonk crying, mourning
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  Speaker 1: its own ugliness, and the wet, salty trail was the
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  Speaker 1: Squonk's tears soaking into the forest floor. The lumberjacks reportedly
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  Speaker 1: grabbed the sobbing animal and shoved it into a bag
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  Speaker 1: to carry it home. I don't know if they plan
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  Speaker 1: to eat it or keep it as a pets or what,
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  Speaker 1: but whatever their plan was, it didn't work out. The
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  Speaker 1: next time they opened up the bag, the squonk was gone,
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  Speaker 1: reduced to a puddle of salt water. It had cried
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  Speaker 1: so hard that a dissolved into nothing. Now, if you're
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  Speaker 1: anything like me, you have two thoughts right now. First,
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  Speaker 1: poor squonk, poor ugly little squonk. And second, this whole
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  Speaker 1: thing is kind of relatable, like when life is a
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  Speaker 1: little too much to handle, who doesn't want to just
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  Speaker 1: burrow into the dirt and sob themselves out of existence? Ultimately, though,
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  Speaker 1: the squonk is like any other cryptid. It's a story
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  Speaker 1: with zero proof, but it feels different to me than
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  Speaker 1: the bigfoots, mothmen, and nesses of the world. So many
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  Speaker 1: creatures in folklore arise out of fear, the fear of
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  Speaker 1: an ape like monster stalking you through the woods, or
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  Speaker 1: a sea serpent and dragging you beneath the water's surface.
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  Speaker 1: But the Squank is sympathetic. It's gentle. It's so ugly
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  Speaker 1: that it's almost cute. As strange as it sounds, I
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  Speaker 1: honestly find the Squank sort of charming. And I'm not
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  Speaker 1: the only one. Although the Cryptid was first recorded in
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  Speaker 1: nineteen ten, it's recently been the subject of some pop
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  Speaker 1: culture coverage. At least two different bands, the American rock
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  Speaker 1: groups Deally Dan and the British band Genesis, have songs
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  Speaker 1: that reference the Squonk. There's even a Squonk inspired character
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  Speaker 1: in the video game Final Fantasy, So listen. If the
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  Speaker 1: story of the Squonk teaches us anything it's that you
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  Speaker 1: can be fascinating and legendary no matter what you look like.
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  Speaker 1: And also, if you ever need to escape a tough situation,
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  Speaker 1: try crying really really hard. Look, no one is good
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  Speaker 1: at everything. While there are people who are skilled in
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  Speaker 1: multiple disciplines and possess knowledge across many fields, the truth
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  Speaker 1: is that most of us are only adapt at one
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  Speaker 1: or two things. Someone might be a talented artist or
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  Speaker 1: a skilled engineer. But that doesn't stop us from learning
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  Speaker 1: new skills or developing new passions. We may pick up
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  Speaker 1: the guitar or try our hand at painting. As for
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  Speaker 1: a J. J. Silvester, well, he probably should have stuck
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  Speaker 1: to math. James Joseph Sylvester was born on September third
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  Speaker 1: of eighteen fourteen in London, England. He had a bit
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  Speaker 1: of a rough childhood growing up, having been taken out
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  Speaker 1: of school when he was fourteen for allegedly stabbing another
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  Speaker 1: student with a knife. He ended up transferring from the
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  Speaker 1: University of London to the Liverpool Royal Institution, but didn't
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  Speaker 1: really get into math until he reached Saint John's College,
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  Speaker 1: Cambridge in eighteen thirty one. Now, Sylvester did very well
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  Speaker 1: in college, even when he was forced to take a
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  Speaker 1: two year hiatus after falling seriously ill. In eighteen thirty seven,
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  Speaker 1: he took Cambridge's Tripos examination and ranked second among the
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  Speaker 1: other students. Unfortunately, he was unable to graduate with his
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  Speaker 1: degree as he could not complete one prerequisite. All graduates
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  Speaker 1: had to accept the thirty nine Articles of the Church
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  Speaker 1: of England upon completing their studies and Sylvester was the
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  Speaker 1: son of a Jewish merchant father. His religious background put
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  Speaker 1: him at a significant disadvantage when it came to war
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  Speaker 1: after college, as well, as he was ineligible for any
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  Speaker 1: fellowships or math prizes. Still, he persevered and found work
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  Speaker 1: at University College London as a professor of natural philosophy.
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  Speaker 1: He even went on to earn both a bachelor's degree
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  Speaker 1: and a master's from Trinity College, Dublin in eighteen forty one.
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  Speaker 1: But he didn't exactly have a temperament for teaching. It
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  Speaker 1: seemed that Sylvester had trouble controlling his anger among his students.
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  Speaker 1: After moving to America and becoming a math professor at
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  Speaker 1: the University of Virginia, he resigned after less than four months.
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  Speaker 1: It seems one of his students had been rudely reading
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  Speaker 1: a newspaper in one of his classes and insulted him.
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  Speaker 1: When called out for his behavior, Sylvester in turn whacked
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  Speaker 1: him with a sword cane, causing him to fall to
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  Speaker 1: the ground. The professor thought that he had killed the boy,
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  Speaker 1: but had only mildly wounded him. Except he didn't resign
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  Speaker 1: in disgrace, and nor did this school force him to
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  Speaker 1: leave Sylvester quit because he didn't feel the university's administration
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  Speaker 1: had disciplined the student harshly enough, and so JJ sailed
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  Speaker 1: home to England, where he became an actuary at the
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  Speaker 1: Equity and Law Life Assurance Society. Around the same time,
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  Speaker 1: he met another mathematician named Arthur Cayley, and the pair
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  Speaker 1: developed several important mathematical theories over the course of their partnership.
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  Speaker 1: By the time Sylvester died in eighteen ninety seven at
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  Speaker 1: the age of eighty two, he had accomplished much. He'd
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  Speaker 1: returned to teaching, he'd become a noted math scholar and intellectual,
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  Speaker 1: and he knew how to swing a stick well enough
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  Speaker 1: to make it hurt. But one thing that he was
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  Speaker 1: not remembered for was his poetry. You see, JJ loved poetry.
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  Speaker 1: It was a passion of his and had been all
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  Speaker 1: his life. He often read books of poetry in other languages,
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  Speaker 1: such as French and Greek, and then translated them into English.
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  Speaker 1: He also incorporated poetic quotes into his mathematical essays for
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  Speaker 1: a bit of artistic flair. But he didn't just read
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  Speaker 1: the stuff. Sylvester also wrote it. He once printed a
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  Speaker 1: book of his own composition called Springs Debut a town It'll,
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  Speaker 1: in which every line rhymed with the word in. And
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  Speaker 1: there was also his poem Rosalind, a four hundred piece
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  Speaker 1: magnum opus, in which every line rhymed with that name Rosalind.
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  Speaker 1: In fact, here's just a sample. Fairest oh of lily kind,
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  Speaker 1: perfect pearl and priceless find pure as poet's milk, white
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  Speaker 1: hind spirit from all dross, refined parts to ravish Heaven's designed.
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  Speaker 1: And it goes on like that for another three hundred
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  Speaker 1: and ninety five lines. Sylvester once read Rosalind for the
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  Speaker 1: members of Baltimore's Peaboty Institute, but not before he gave
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  Speaker 1: everyone in attendance a thorough education on the work. He
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  Speaker 1: read them every footnote to avoid having to stop to
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  Speaker 1: read and explain the context, and then began reciting the poem.
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  Speaker 1: There was just one problem. Almost nobody had stuck around
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  Speaker 1: to hear it. He'd actually taken an hour and a
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  Speaker 1: half to get through all the footnotes, and by the
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  Speaker 1: time he got to the actual piece, most of the
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  Speaker 1: attendees had already walked out. I guess that's the idea
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  Speaker 1: of a mathematician writing poetry just didn't add up. I
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  Speaker 1: hope you've enjoyed today's guided tour of the Cabinet of Curiosities.
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  Speaker 1: Subscribe for free on Apple Podcasts, or learn more about
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  Speaker 1: the show by visiting Curiosities podcast dot com. The show
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  Speaker 1: was created by me Aaron Mankey in partnership with how
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  Speaker 1: Stuff Works. I make another award winning show called Lore,
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  Speaker 1: which is a podcast, book series, and television show, and
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  Speaker 1: you can learn all about it over at the Worldoflore
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  Speaker 1: dot com. And until next time, stay curious.