Latest / Walking Manifestator Podcast- Aligning Mindset with Spirituality / 121: What If Everything Is Happening for You?
Transcript
- Alexa: What if we woke up every single morning expecting for something wonderful to happen? And not because everything in our life is going to be perfect, not because there's going to be magically more money in your bank account, not because suddenly that relationship worked out. And not because you are going to receive the opportunity that you prayed for. But because you actually developed such unconditional faith in God. In yourself and in the process of your life, that even when something goes wrong, you believe that everything is happening for you. And instead of asking what's gonna go wrong today, we started actually asking, God, what are you ready to show me today? What is actually going to allow me to continue to get to know me better? And this is something that honestly I've really been implementing into my life because we experience the version of life that we are focusing on. Two people can walk through the exact same circumstances. However, they're both going to experience very different outcomes. Why? Because your perspective is the only difference between the reality that is actually being experienced at all times. One person is going to see punishment, and the other person might see preparation for the blessing. And one person that focused on that punishment now sees it as rejection, right? Meanwhile, the other person is actually seeing it. It is a redirection. So, why is this so important? Well, I really wanted to start off this conversation by talking about how important it is for us to redirect our perspective when everything feels like it's falling apart. And realistically, when I look back at some of the times in my life where things felt like they were falling apart. Legit falling apart. I remember at that time I was around six years old, seven years old, probably about six years old, when I completely had my life shifted from me. We went from living in a household with everything, at least the essentials. We weren't rich, but we had more than enough. And to all of a sudden being homeless and not knowing where I was going to sleep, not knowing where our next meal was going to come from, and then losing my parents at that point because life happened and then getting Sent back to my grandmother by age eight and just feeling really lost. And I remember that at that time. It didn't necessarily feel like a blessing. However, this is why I started the conversation by talking about faith. The first thing that you and I need to both be okay with is understanding that we need to have unconditional faith before we actually see the evidence. And there's a scripture in Romans 8:28 that says basically that God is teaching us how to make all things good. That doesn't mean that every circle Circumstance itself is going to feel like it's good, that doesn't mean that we're going to maybe enjoy it in that moment. However, the circumstance doesn't get the final word. And this is really where we need to also tie in psychology. Because when something difficult is happening in our life, there's two separate things that are occurring. The first one is the event. And then the second one is the meaning that we're actually giving the event. So we are never able to really control the first one, right? The event is going to happen inevitably. Like things are going to happen. Things are going to sometimes fall apart. Things are going to, you know, take a toll on you emotionally, physically, spiritually. Those things we don't have any control over. However, what we do have control over is the meaning of that event. And I forgot what book I read this from, but Peter Connor was actually it was in a book. I was reading I was watching a video by Peter Connor and he was quoting someone in a book that basically said, Anybody can actually have a good childhood if we just decided to go back and give that childhood a different meaning. And I think that's so true because the things that I, when I look back at my life that I used to condemn my family for, that I used to point fingers for, I genuinely believe they all happen for the betterment. I genuinely believe that they have been the reason for my success. Now we've talked about this before, but I feel the need to share it on this episode. It's like when we go to the gym. Like in the meantime, while we're there, we don't love it. Right, the trainer is giving you the overall weights that you can carry in that moment. But you might second guess yourself, right? There's a moment within you that maybe you're like, I I just can't do that. Like, I this is too much, it's way more than I can handle. But then through pushing yourself, you actually realize that this is resistance training. Right now you actually just challenged your muscles. And as they repair, they become stronger. Life really does work the same way. The resistance isn't automatically something negative. It doesn't mean that you're going in the wrong direction. Sometimes the resistance actually means that it's evidence that you are growing. And really, where I want to share a perspective here is that instead of always thinking, like, why is God always doing this to me? Why not try to reframe it to actually say, like, what is it that I don't actually understand from this situation right now? And what can this season actually develop inside of me? That right there is the reframe between victimhood and empowerment. And overall, trust without needing to understand every detail is what allows you to get closer to the divine. So when you're going through something. second thing that I want you to also be very clear about that has helped me, especially during this transition period. I I shared this in my stories and I've talked about it here and there, but I relocated. I finally got into what I would consider at this current time my dream home. I'm out by the area that I wanted to be in. I've been manifesting this for going on like two years. It's so funny because it didn't happen the way that I thought it was going to happen. It happened the way that God intended for it to happen. And as I'm sitting here in my new office space, looking at the beautiful trees on the outside, it's a reminder of how sometimes we believe that we know best, but in reality we don't. Sometimes there's something better out there for us that God's just like, just chill, just wait and just see how big the blessing can actually be. So the second thing you want to really do is that you want to actually take inspired action. Okay. And this is a term that a lot of people use, but I'm going to give you my meaning behind it and what I personally do to make this very approachable. If I'm going through something, I get very clear on what is the desired outcome that I would like. Okay. And it doesn't mean that that's exactly how it's going to happen. It just means that I'm getting clear on what are the action steps I need to do. So I'm three days away from my 75 day hard period ending. I'm super excited. I'm excited because it's going to be like a testament, number one, to myself that I was able to do it in spite of like there was times that I was only sleeping for three hours. There was times that like the boys needed stuff from me that I was really tired and I still pushed through it. And it created a new character of me. But the reason I share this with me is with you guys is because when you can understand that the action steps you take are actually what allows you to get closer to the desired outcome you want, even if the outcome doesn't turn out to be the way you want it, you're in the empowerment seat. And there's a scripture that comes to mind that is in Philippians 4:8, and it tells us basically to focus our minds on what is true, honorable, right. pure, love, and admirable. And when you understand that, it's taking the perspective of like victimhood into the empowerment. And if we actually see how neuroscience backs up the things that scripture has said for years, is that your brain Cannot consistently process every piece of information that is surrounding you. So it actually prioritizes what it believes is the most important, the most relevant. So if you're constantly telling yourself that nothing ever works out for you, you're in that moment telling your brain to look for more evidence of why everything is actually going so horribly wrong for you. And your attention becomes extremely good at noticing the The evidence that is actually supporting that story. And this is where our RAS really plays a huge factor. And the reason why I say to make an action plan is because now you're having unconditional faith that everything's going to work out. But on top of that, you're also having action steps that you can take that are going to get you closer to the outcome, plus ensuring that you're doing it from a place of empowerment, which back to the analogy of The 75 day hard, there were times that I felt like I wanted to quit. There were times that I felt like there's no way I'm going to finish this. I feel very overwhelmed. But what I chose to focus on is like just one more day. Just one more day. Just one more day. And I'll be very, very real with you. At the beginning, it was very easy because I just made it like part of my identity, and my house was organized, and everything was the way that I wanted it to be. And you can use this as like it pertains to your life, right? Maybe sometimes when When things are very ideal, where where things feel like everything is where it's supposed to be, you feel empowered and you feel like, yes, this is amazing, this is great. But then you forget that where you build your character is in the adversity, is in the moments where You feel like quitting, you feel like giving up, but in reality, you keep going. So this is really where we start reframing our neurons and we start saying, you know what? Something wonderful is going to happen today. Now you're actually giving assignment and attention to something different. You're looking for more opportunity. You're focusing on kindness, on connection, on solutions. And knowing that God's provision will always be more than enough. Now our Thoughts change what we notice. And when you understand that, now it makes it easier for you to continue to show up in the steps that you need in order for things to work out the way that you want them or as close as maybe what you not necessarily want, but what you actually need in that moment. And a story comes to mind that I want to share with you. I recently had a client in my real estate business where we went above and beyond for her. We helped her get over $10,000 in closing costs, we helped her get like top-of-the-line appliances in her home. We helped her close within the 30 to 45 day range that we always promised. We ensured that we got her like lender credits, she got a great interest rate, you name it. And there was a hiccup that happened during the transaction as inevitably. In real estate, sometimes things like that can happen. And I did my very best to explain to them that these things were out of our control. But of course, she was upset, and her RAS was focused on, you've hurt me. This is what's going wrong, and I'm upset. So she proceeded to leave a negative review on one of my business accounts. And I'm not gonna lie to you, I was pretty, pretty sad and pretty upset because I knew everything that I had done for this family. So as we proceed, I essentially tried talking to her and letting her know, like, look, if there's anything that we can do to make this right, like, please let me know. But realistically, like, this wasn't something that I did. This was something that title and the lender did right. So I really have no control over that. I have control over my organization, my real estate team. But when it comes to the other parties involved, like I can't tell them how to do their business, right? Now I always encourage feedback because I want to make sure that I can also coach those around me and help them get better at communication and help them execute better. So long story short, we end up making this, you know, conversation and she tells me something along the lines of like, well I still feel like, you know, communication could have been handled better. Okay. So I at that point, always, every single one of my clients, I always buy them a closing gift. And the petty side of me, of course, wanted to be like, well, I'm not gonna give her her expensive gift. I'm spending over $400 on this thing. And then the higher version of me was like, you're not doing that. You're going to deliver the gift, no matter what she thinks about you, because you know who you are and you know what you delivered. So I go. And at that point she had already changed my rating from a one star to a four star. Which I was like, you know what? It's not the five stars. I've never had a negative review except for two that were fake reviews because of agents that sometimes just get petty and they're upset when they're off with strong gotta accept it. And this ties into all again, perspective. Okay, like I want you to see yourself in this story. So this lady basically, when I see her, she kind of like vaguely apologized for the fact that she was like so frustrated, but she was thankful for the fact that now she was in her house and she was thankful for the gift. So later she actually texts me, letting me know I updated the review. And she left me like a great review, and now I'm like over the moon, right? Which ties into why we shouldn't allow other people's opinions of us and perspective us perspectives of us actually control us because At the beginning, I was sad and mad because of her review. And then toward the end, I was happy and excited, right? So I'm letting somebody externally control my emotions. And at this point, I, you know, it's a brand new day. The client texts me, the husband texts me, letting me know hey, you know what? There's a leak. There's a leak in one of the rooms. This is a brand new house. And are these things common? Unfortunately, they are. Like they're common because people just like you and me build these houses, and even though we do in inspections, things can still come up. The cool thing about it though is that because it's a new house, you're going to have some warranties. So he texts me, I got him the information, we got everything taken care of, and I wake up today to the review being removed. And I was like, wow, like now she's mad at me about the house. Like, there's no pleasing this lady. And I had to come to the realization of, of course, I'm always going to want to improve. Of course, I'm always going to want to make things better in any way that I can. But ultimately, I can't control other people's perspectives of me. So what's the moral of the story? The moral of the story is that There's going to be people that aren't going to be necessarily happy with your performance. There's going to be thing people that are going to think the worst of whatever it is that your intentions were in that moment. Were or weren't in that moment. And this person, she has two options. She can focus on all the good things that I did. Like I would be one to take one for the team and say right away, like, you know what? Yes, I slacked it, I didn't reply to her, you know, I wasn't communicating with her. Like, I am all for constructive feedback. But ultimately, I know that this was out of my control. And when I explain something like this to someone and they still don't understand that, I have to also make a mature understanding and actually say, you know what, I understand that ultimately this is not in my control and I have to let it go. And this person now she's choosing to assign meaning to her transaction of purchasing her home, which is an American dream to many people or just a dream in general for so many people. But yet she's now making it this negative experience because little unforeseen things have happened, which ultimately are going to make her feel very different about the outcome. And this is what we do in our life. We make everything better or worse based off our perspective. And this is where the last point comes into play. I want you to always remember to move forward. You see, there's a scripture on James 2, 17 that basically says, faith without works is dead. Right. So you can pray for a better spouse. You can pray for, you know, a healthier body. You can pray for more money in your bank account. You can pray for your kids to be better. But if ultimately you're not taking action steps that are going to allow you to actually align with that outcome that you're seeking, ultimately it's just never going to actually change because you're in control of the outcome. And when you have that perspective and when you can genuinely understand that, okay, maybe I don't necessarily have a direct option or I don't have the ability to necessarily choose how my life is going to play out for the rest of my life, I do, however, have a choice to wake up today and go to the gym. I do have today a responsibility to be a better parent, to show my kids by example and not by pointing the fingers and saying that's not what you should do, meanwhile I'm doing it. These are the micro changes that once you can change in your life. Alexa, stop. Once you can change in your life, everything is going to change. And when we understand this, there's a energy that is going to allow us to expand our vessel. And this energy, when we're expanding our vessel, Allows us to receive more blessings. Allows us to see that you know what? This experience didn't happen the way that she wanted to, but yet she still managed to overcome the adversity that she was faced with, and she still managed to bring her best energy to the table, and she still managed to do X, Y, and Z. Okay, you know what? This person is actually ready for the next level that they have to go to. Because naturally, if we're not growing, we're dying. So this is not really about you just thinking positively is going to change everything. No, it's about taking action steps that are going to allow you to get to the point where you're happy. So I have four Questions that I want you to go ahead and keep in mind. So the first one is like what actually happened? Like, remove the story and only state the facts. Okay. The second thing is, what meaning am I giving to this situation? Okay. And when we proceed into three and four, basically, what Else could I assign as meaning to this experience? Could this be a redirection? Could this be a protection? Could this be information? What can I actually learn from this experience? And the last one is what do I do next? This is really where manifesting your dream life becomes embodiment because it's not just about taking This like energy of meditation and gratitude and sitting in your room all day and expecting things to happen. No, it's like, okay, send the email, apply to the job again, create the offer, have the conversation, set the boundary with that person, ask for help. Pray, yes, but also move. And you don't have to wait for circumstances to become wonderful before expecting something wonderful. Expectation is a posture. Okay. And when you understand that, faith is a posture as well. Gratitude is a posture as well. And the action that you're taking is evidence that you're actually embodying what you say you believe. You can't control everything that's happening tomorrow, but you can decide how you're going to meet tomorrow. So If nobody has told you this, remember that you are amazing, that you are loved, and that you can absolutely manifest anything you want. I'll talk to you on the next one.