Latest / Relatables / TRUST OR CONTROL ISSUES?!

Transcript

TRUST OR CONTROL ISSUES?! · Relatables

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Coming up on Relatables. The reason nobody says to us like, oh,
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: who are you wearing that nice shirt for? Is because
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: it's a shirt and it covers everything up. I've never
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever worn nice clothes for someone.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: It's always assumed that we just wear something that we
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: feel good in. But why isn't it assumed that girls
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: wear stuff that they feel good in because they feel
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: good in it. We wear it because like they wear
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: more revealing things, but they just genuinely feel good in it. Yeah,
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: and for anyone listening who might have a bit of
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: trust issues in their relationship, there's a fine line between
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: trust issues and control issues. Relatable The Relatables podcast is
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: hosted by myself, Addie Clark aka Mummy, and my partner
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: and cry mister Jake Craig aka Daddy. All Right, guys,
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: we have a little bit of a confession. We are
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: having two weeks off. So this episode you're about to
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: hear is actually a Patreon episode that happened about two
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: to three weeks ago. Yeah, So if you want episodes,
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: they're still going to be up uploaded every single Thursday
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: on Patreon. If you need your here, if you need
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: your fix. It's only five dollars a month, yep. But
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: otherwise there's a Patreon. We're going to enjoy a holiday hopefully,
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: hopefully have a good little breakoff, but otherwise it's patren
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: enjoy it. Okay, Jake, you've heard of the saying, well,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: I guess it's not really a saying gas lighting. You
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: know what gas lighting is? Its loosely thrown around. Let's
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: say we'll give us a brief description what gas lighting is. Um,
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: I have a brief description of gas lighting.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: So it's would be like turning.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: If someone maybe has something that they're trying to bring
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: up with you, you turn it around to make it
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: their fault. Yeah, that's a good example. Or you make
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: them do something without actually telling them to do it,
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: or there's another ultimotive to be do it. So we've
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: heard of that. We don't like that. We hate that stuff.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: We hate that. Have you heard the theoryly gassing lightly gassing? Yeah?
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: So gas lighting bad, bad, bad, We don't like that stuff. Okay,
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: But lightly gassing is where I would gas say you
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: up before a certain situation to give you a false
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: sense of confidence, so you go into it ready to go.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: So before this podcast. Maybe you need to be a
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: conference back, Jake. You're really good talking man, Like you're
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: going to be really good today. Do a good job,
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: like you're a good co host. Just got lightly gas. Yeah,
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: so I can say, oh, I'm loving the fit today.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Go out there killing lightly gas, lightly gas. We up, man,
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: that's what we're bringing to the table these days now.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Oh I like lightly gas. Yeah. Same, it's called lightly
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: gas and not gas lighting. Yeah, that's a fucking the
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: opposite of gas light. I'm gonna I'm gonna bring that.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: I'm going to bring that out. Yeah, it's gonna be
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: lightly gas today. I wanted to start it. I wanted
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: to start sorry, today's episode with well, the Olympic is over.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: I first wanted to do talk about it. We didn't
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: really talk about much. I just want to talk about it
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: one more time now. The reason I wanted to talk
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: about it was because Australia came fourths, which is good.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: I think it's great compared to who we were up against. Okay,
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: I can see how your brain is working, and you're
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: going to tell us the population of it. So it's great, mate.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: And I didn't this isn't this isn't my idea. I
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: saw this on It was on like the news. This
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: is what they did to make Australia look good basically.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: So the real standings was America first place, China second place,
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Japan third place, Australia fourth place. But if we go
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: with gold medals per capita, all right, China they have
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: one gold per thirty five million people per capita. Where
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: the fuck did you? I didn't I told you, I
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: didn't figre of this. I got this off the news.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: So capita means like one for population. Basically, Yeah, America
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: has one gold per eight point three million, Japan one
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: gold per six point two million, Australia one gold per
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: one point four million. So really, yeah, isn't that actually
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: kind of cool? I see that? Just so we have
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: a one point one four million chance of getting a
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: gold medal, yes we do. Fuck going to the Olympics.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: Fucking go to the Olympics. That's a better that's a
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: better chance of getting a gold medal in the Olympics
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: and winning the lottery. I'm going to sign up for
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: break dancing. Oh we've got to fucking talk about that.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: Ray Gun. Have you heard what's being on on with
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: that yes, that's corrupt. Yeah yeah, she she like she's
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: like created a governing body like cohursed her way into
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: the Olympics. Isn't that the most insane thing ever still happening? Corruption? Corruption.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: I don't understand her and her husband. So when I
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: first saw the video going viral of the Australian woman's breakdancing, yeah,
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: and initially I was like, yeah, look, it does look
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: like a joke. But I was like, okay, surely she's
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: just as good as every other female breakdancer. Saw another
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: female breakdancer spinning like a fucking spinning top on her
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: head and do a backflipt and I was like, WHOA,
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: ray Gun sucks. Bruh, she does suck. People were learning
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: her routine like literally on TikTok. In forty five minutes,
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: I watched a video so the inspired unemployed were sent
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: to Paris with the company or whatever getting paid to
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: do it, and they did a video with ray Gun
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: on TikTok and it was them like someone filming walking
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: behind and then they were walking towards camera like kind
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: of dancing a falcon and Jack Better looked just as
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: good as her. It's not better, And I know she
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: wouldn't have been trying, but like she would have been thinking,
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: like I got to do something. They looked just as
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: good as her. Crazy, Like she's sitting there just grabbing
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: on her foot. She was like just fucking like she
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: looks like a worm on the ground. She has a
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: PhD in breakdancing or like dance call do movement baking. Yeah,
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: and breaking can get a PhD in anything? How did
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: we get a PhD in podcast? I reckon? She fucking INVENTEDHDD.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: She's a lecturer at mccorie uni. Yeah, crazy, Hey, and
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: you didn't think that would happen in like the twentieth
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: century or whatever. But you think that's some like dark stuff.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: When I first brought sports out, yeah, like I was
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: just so confused. I was talking about it with my
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: cousin that day. I was thinking, how did she get
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: chosen to go? Or do you actually not know the story? Really?
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: So I know that she like kind of did a
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: thing where no one was getting funding to get in
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: the eyes to be chosen, but and she did or something.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: So the conspiracy is if anyone who doesn't know what's
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: going on, Raygun is a breakdancer and the Australian women's
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: breakdancer who's now a worldwide fucking she lost nine nil
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: and breakdancing you can't come last, but she didn't get
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: a single point. But anyway, the conspiracy theory is they
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: needed a governing body to host the breakdancing quarter fires
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: in Australia and they didn't have one, so they hired
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: this company that she had a bit of a connection
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: to or her husband did they owned it or runned
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: it or something. So everyone's like, how does she win?
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: And then the news is like, she's won five or
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: six events, and these five or six events that she's won,
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: her company or her and her husband's breakdancing fucking committee
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: that they own, actually runs it. So they're just pushing
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: Ygun every single time. What crazy? Hey and so? And
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: then in the Australian qualifiers, they hired the same community
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: for all these other breakdancing ones that Raygun's won, So
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: she just won again. Because I'm thinking there's got to
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: be I know, break dancing isn't that big. I was like,
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: there's got to be some good dancing girls. I would
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: think the girls would be better than guys. I think
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: breakdancing it's not small, though, yeah, and like Jerry is
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: definitely they call them. I saw a video some guy
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: was like, there's definitely some good bee boys and be
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: girls in Australia. I've seen my TikTok Australian girls dancing
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: better than Rey Gun. You could have got you could
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: have got a fucking Australian TikTok influencer. Yeah, got famous
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: for a dancing on TikTok. To go out there and
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: she would have at least got a point. Yeah, literally,
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: she would have done something cool. I will say she drubbed,
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: she jumped like a kangaroo. Isn't that crazy? The Olympics
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: and so the rules at the Olympics was they didn't
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: know the song beforehand and they had to make everything
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: up on the spot, right, But they obviously have a
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: fucking rehearse thing I reckon in their head. They would
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: have moves rehearsed and stuff because kind of like break
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: dancing could go with any song or you do it
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: is just sick shit to a soundtrack. The guy Breakdancer,
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: he really brought it back for us. He did sick
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: he was he was so good. I think it just
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: doesn't do break dancing any favors the fact that his
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: first year in the Olympics, yeah, and his controversy with Reygaun.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: How did she get here at the best stage in
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: the world. Well, that's literally I can see equivalent one
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: hundred meter race, I go and run it. Yeah, it's like, oh,
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: we did a governing body for the one hundred meter race,
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: and then on his like, oh I could run, reckon,
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: I could do this, and then you come last every
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: race and it's like everyone else disqualified. Bodie, you're going through.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: I've got twelve second. Let's close enough. Fuck me. So
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: I was thinking, but thinking about it. Okay, So she's
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: she's made it. So all the actual good breakdancers don't
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: get a chance. Don't get a chance in Australia. Right,
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: that's just sport for you butt. But what else she
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: did was so her performance was so shit that it
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: went so viral for being so shit, right that everyone's
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: just talking about how shit her performance was compared to
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: how good everyone else's performance was. So now breakdancing looks
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: like a joke, like for the longest time, not for
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: longest time, but I was like, see, this is why
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: you can't put breakdancing in the Olympics. Because it's a joke,
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: but it really isn't because there was some really fucking
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: good breakdances in there. Yeah, she pushed the alarm light
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: away from everyone else. She's made She has single handedly
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: made breakdancing look like a joke of a sport and
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: now never gonna be in the Olympics again. You don't,
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: I don't reckon. Because each each city gets to choose
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: four sports. Oh is that what happens? So that's what
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: happens to one. So France, France chose breakdancing, climbing of something.
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: I think surfing it's been in it for a while,
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: and skateboarding will probably stay that Yeah, and then LA
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: their next Yeah, I think they chose surfing again, they
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: chose cricket. Bro really that's cool. Australia is gonna be
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: T twenty or like, actually, it's got to be T twenty.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: They don't know how. I hope it's T twenty or
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: just a one day Yeah, you can do it one day. Ye, Yeah,
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: that's a long it's gonna be the creckt they chose.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: My sister was telling me what else they didn't choose breakdancing?
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: I don't think so. I know of surfing and fucking
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: the other thing. But isn't that wild wild wild wild?
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: But it does prove like in life growing up, you
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: think it's like this beautiful place of rainbows. It's who
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: you know and not what you know. You know what.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: That's yeah, perfect definition. Yeah, just fucking get cheat the
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: system and you'll be there. Yeah. Literally, there's no like
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: like she's the industry plant of industry plants. Five. It's
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: like it's like when you grew up, there was the
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: kids making reps and this one kid was always shit
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: and he made it because his dad was like the
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: coach or friends with the coach or whatever. Yeah, everyone
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: knew he was the worst, but it was just like
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: the token card and you couldn't do anything about it
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: because the dad was best made to the coach. Yeah whatever.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: Whoever's dad was coaching first grade or the representative team,
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: their kid was always in the team and he was
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: always the captain for some reason like that. That's fucking
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: you know what it is. Reygun grew up being that kid,
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: all right. Her mom was a breakdancing coach. She was
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: always being told she's good at breakdancing. She's good at
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: break dancing, You're great don't worry about practicing, just go
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: up there and fucking wing it. And then she's like, well,
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: governing body needs to be made. I tell you what.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: It was funnier too. It was like all the I
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: think it was maybe politicians or some of the politicians
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: were like doubling down and saying, how proud of They're
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: proud of Reagun they were, and I was just like,
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: come on, like, wake be honest. For once in your
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: fucking life a politician has probably I don't reckon politicians
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: have ever told the truth to ever? I think who's
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: our prime minister at the moment? Alban Easy, Yeah, I
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: saw the thing. It was a quote and she's like,
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: she did well. I think that's all he said. That's
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: all he was permitted to say she did well. He's
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: probably like I can't. I'll vomit if I say anything.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: Fucking how funny I saw, you know, Jimmy Fallon, He
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: has one of the biggest late night talk shows ever. Right,
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: he did a whole segment where this actor comes out
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: that slightly resembles Regah and she just came out, she
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: just has gone and he was like, you know, she's
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: like just grabbing her foot and ship and I was like,
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: I was like, this is being taken. Oh yeah, And
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: so I just feel bad for all the actual good
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: break dances. That's what I feel about.
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, alrighty guys, Lemmas went for work drinks and got
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: very drunk with my work bestie, who I may or
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: may not have a little crush on.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: However, he's in a long term relationship of four years.
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: But I need help deciphering this one. What does it
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: mean when he suggests we do rounds just us two
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: number two? What does it mean when he hands me
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: his phone and lets me reply in a group chat
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: of his friends and also a separate group chat of
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: just his best friend and brother. At one point, his
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: brother asked in the group chat who was actually messaging
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: from his phone, to which he took the phone back
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: and said, it's Tea. Tea is my nickname, and then
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: his best friend sent him, hm, Who's tea? Winky face?
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: Three. When we were leaving, he waited for me at
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: the train ticket barrier while everyone else went ahead, made
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: sure I got on the right train home, and then
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: messaged me to make sure I got home safely. Every
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: now and then we also talk in the evening via text,
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: he sent me a few memes that are somewhat inside
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: jokes between just us two. And he's always very excited
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: to tell me about new clothes he's bought and how
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: his five a side football game went, et cetera. So
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: basically she's rambling, but she's asking and deciphering these three things.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: So he's in a four year relationship, Yeah, long term relationship.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: Let's break down the three questions. Number one, what was it?
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: What does it mean when he suggests we do rounds
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: just us two?
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Nothing? He just doesn't. He just doesn't want to go
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: up there and get drinks himself. That's that one fact.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: He's like, I just don't want to go. I want
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: it every second time I want to go. I love
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: rounds because it means you have to walk less and
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: you get drunk quicker, you get drunk kicker walk less.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: And also, I bet you I could bet money that
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: he gave her his card every time it was his
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: round and she went up to get the drinks. Does
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: that mean something though? Oh maybe not No, because he's lazy. Yeah, true,
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: get him. I do that too. If I'm drinking and
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: I'm on a night out, I'm like, oh, I don't
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: want to get drink, get yourself one. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: so that one's gone. Next, would you have our calling
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: you for some reason? Money doesn't exist? No, it does.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: Worse thing ever, but not my business made. Yeah, fair enough,
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: that's a future of his business. Number two, What does
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: it mean when he hands me his phone and lets
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: me reply in a group chat of his friends and
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: also a separate group chat of just his best friends
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: and brother. So this one's very misleading. My immediate thought
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: was he's a simp, but clearly not because he's got
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: a girlfriend. Is he drunk? I don't know. Is it
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: just something you can't she said they got very drunk.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: I just think he's drunk and didn't realize what he
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: was doing. But because you're reading into these things and
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: he's thinking this is nothing, Yeah, That's what I'm thinking
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: in my head. No, I agree, Like if I was
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: drunk with a girl a work friend's a yeah, yeah,
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: they just went out randomly, got drunk, one of those
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: spontaneous ones we accidentally send it and yeah, I think
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: like she's she's reading into this because she was saying
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: she has a little crush on him. Yeah, and when
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: you have a crush on someone. All these little signals,
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: you're like, fuck, he's doing that on purpose. Yeah, you
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: think all these things in him. In his head, he's like,
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: I'm drugly if you reply, he's just doing stuff. Yeah,
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: he's just doings. Not I'm thinking he's just been a guy.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: He's using that wonderful power we don't think. Number three,
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: when we were leaving, he waited for me out the
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: train ticket barrier while everyone else went ahead, made sure
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: I got on the right train home, and then messaged
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: me to make sure I got home safely. This is
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: the only one that could also misleading. But my immediate
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: thought he is a nice guy. So my immediate thought
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: is that, yes, he's a gentleman. Ah, and he's in okay.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: Another thing I'm also thinking is so you guys your
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: work besties, yuck ah. Also, this situation is just you're
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: okay your work besties. This is you might agree with
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: me about this, Okay, so you work besties. You've got
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: a little cross on him. He's been in a relationship
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: for four years. He loves his girlfriend. You went out,
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: you got drunk.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: Now you are like ladies sending this you also work drunk,
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: So there's probably like no doubt that, like you were
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: probably just flirting with him a little bit, right, And
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: it's a terrible thing to say, but he probably kind
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: of liked the attention, and he probably liked flirting a
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: little bit because like he just doesn't do it anymore,
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: he hasn't done it for four years. It's not good
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: that he enjoyed it, and he's probably thinking, like it's
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: this flirting with a friend, like, yeah, this is why
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: the friendship doesn't work. Yeah, yeah, it's bans in his head,
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: like I'm just flirting, having a bit of fun, like
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: just yeah, it's just banter. And so I think like
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: he thought it was just a bit of fun, and
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: you maybe took it the wrong way. I'm not condoning
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: what he did. I think what he did was disrespected
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: to his girlfriend. He definitely shouldn't have done it, that's
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: the dilem. No, But I think I don't think you
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: should read into it too much as like he wants
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: to be with you and not his girlfriend. I think
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: that he was just kind of enjoying the man time. No,
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: I agree, Yeah, I think this is case closed. He's
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: just doesn't know what he's doing and you're reading into
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: it too much, unfortunately. Yes, yeah, he's being an idiot. Yeah,
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: and you're reading into it. I was kind of not
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: not gonna say you're being an idiot, but you're being Dululu.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: You've been a little ululu. Yeah you're also drunk though,
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: so like you're also being an idiot, I guess. Yeah. Yeah.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: But also you shouldn't be asking yourself these questions. If
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: he has a girlfriend, you should just be like, we're friends,
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: full stop. Yeah, Like, also you need to ask yourself. Yeah,
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: let's say he fucking he does want to leave his
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: girlfriend for you, all right, and he's going straight from
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: that for your relationship to you. Like it's like, is
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: that how you want? No, your relationship starff And like
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: if I you can't help crushes, that's relatable. Sometimes you
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: get crushes on the most random people. You might have
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: a dream about someone and you have a crush on
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: the next day. Or dude, when I was single and
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: I had a dream about someone, I did get a
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: crush on. Yeah, you do. Why it's your body subconsciously,
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: I reckon, Like it's like if I'm thinking about them
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: in my sleep, Yeah, I've got to be there's got
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: to be something exactly, and then you have this weird
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: little crush on someone that maybe you wouldn't find attractive usually,
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: but you do for some reason now. But it's about
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: keeping yourself accountable, Like you can stop yourself from having
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: a crush on this guy. You should just say logically,
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: I know it's hard to use logic sometimes in your
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: brain and say, he's got a girlfriend of four years.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: I have a crush. That doesn't make sense. Crush over,
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: it's just a crush. It's not like you're in love
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: with him. That's a good point, you little crush. Yeah, yeah, okay,
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: next dilemma, Hello, love the pod. My dilemma is as follows.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: I'm a twenty year old girl and my boyfriend who
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: I've been together with for a year and he's twenty one.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: He is great, amazing. Firstly, that many dilemma start like that.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: We've spoken about this. He's great, he's amazing, but there's
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: just this one thing. Don't fucking excuse the one thing,
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: because he is great, amazing, I love him and all
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: the rest, but he is insanely jealous. In his last relationship,
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: he was cheated on, which has left him feeling very vulnerable.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: I know for a fact that he is jealous slash
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: overprotective is a trauma response to that, and I can't
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: help feeling a bit put off by that. Over the
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: years we've been together, he's come so far and his
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: jealousy issues are less potent, but he still gets very
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: weird about me going out and wearing certain clothes, et cetera.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: I guess I just want a guy's perspective on this.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: Will he eventually get past this if I keep showing
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: him I'm trustworthy? Or is he never gonna? Is he
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: never going to get over it? Thanks in advance. Okay,
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: good dilemma. Actually that's a good one, bro, I have learnt.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: I don't struggle with this. We both jealousy. We both
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: don't no no, no, no no no. We have that
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: like not caring attitude. Trust, We trust, but also don't
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: like care. I don't even think I think it's not caring.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: I think like we think we don't care. Yeah, but
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: I think we do care. But the reason we feel
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: like we don't care is just because we trust. True,
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Yeah? Yeah, And it's it
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: is so easy to trust when we're from relationships or
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: we don't have any past trauma. Yeah, no, I've never
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: been cheated on, never been cheated or never had like
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: the situation where I thought she was cheating or anything
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: like that. So it's hard to say, what do you reckon?
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: So she asked, if she just keeps on, he's getting better,
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: he's getting better. I don't know. I'm trying to think
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: here from a guy's perspective, and also just I like
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: to think of it as like an outsider looking in,
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: you know, like you said, he is amazing, he has
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: this one thing. I think, like I have a few
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: you guys must if they have to have spoken about it.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: I'm just like, it just doesn't quite sit right with me.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: I know you can't do much about trauma, but like
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: I always say, you treat each relationship differently, like you
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: don't take past things from what happened in that last
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: I know it's hard. Is this a case where he
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: moved on and got in a relationship before he was ready?
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: So that's what I was thinking. Yeah, Like, so one
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: of the reasons I think I don't have trust issues
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: is because I as much as it would hurt if
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: I was cheated on or if but like as much
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: as that would. I know, I am fine alone, Like,
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: I'm not afraid to be alone. I could like if
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: someone said you're gonna be alone for your whole life
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: and wouldn't really scare me. But I remember when Jake
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: broke up with his girlfriend like two or three years
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: ago and they were together. How long were you go together?
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: Nearly three years? Eight? You did initially at the start
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: struggle to be alone, Yeah, very like very much. Yeah,
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: and you worked on yourself and found your independence. Oh
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: yeah no, yeah, that was fucking so shit, bro. But
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: I think that's props to you because now your relationship,
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: if you just jump from your last one to the
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: one you're in now, I reckon you'd be very dependent
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: on your relationship and nothing would have been fixed that. Yeah,
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: nothing would have been fixed. But you took the time
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: to deal with those problems yourself. You found your independence
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: where maybe we don't know the situation of how long
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: the time period was between relationships, but is he I
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: don't think you should be giving him as much like
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: I think even if it was two years between relationships,
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: he just didn't heal properly. Yeah, And each people heal
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: their own time, and there's nothing to say that he
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: can't heal while he's with you. But I think that
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: he needs to want to heal, like he needs to
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: actually want it, Like he needs to hate feeling jealous
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: and hate feeling protective. Yeah, but he might like those things.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: So you need to speak to him and you need
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: to be like, hey, I'm kind of getting sick of
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: this jealousy thing, like really really sick of it. I
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: want to be able to go out with friends, all right,
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: And I by all means like I want to message
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: you where I am, I want to give you updated,
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: I want to do this, or I want to be
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: able to wear what I want to wear. I'm not
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: wearing it for other dudes. I'm wearing it for me
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: because I genuinely feel good in this thing, exactly like
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: a guy. The reason nobody says to us like, oh,
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: who are you wearing that nice shirt for? Is because
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: it's a shirt and it covers everything up. I've never
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: I don't think i've ever worn nice clothes for someone.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: It's always assumed that we just wear something that we
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: feel good in. But why isn't it assumed that girls
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: wear stuff that they feel good in because they feel
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: good in it, we wear it because like they wear
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: more revealing things, but they just genuinely feel good in it. Yeah.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: And for anyone listening who might have a bit of
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: trust is used in their relationship, there's a fine line
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: between trust issues and control issues. Yeah, and that's what
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: you've got to reassess in your relationship. Is he just
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: trying to control you or does he actually have trust issues?
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: That's a good, good question because that's a fine line
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: because he's saying, what are you like choosing what you
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: wear that doesn't rub me the right way, not at all,
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: And he could be using that he was cheated on
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: and has trust issues as a bit of an excuse. Yeah. Now, yeah,
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: So if he really wanted to get that fixed and
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: you said, like I'm sick of this, I wanted to
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: be fixed and he hated feeling that way, he will
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: get it fixed. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, And it's just like
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: slowly building on it. So you're saying, I'm going to
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: wear this, this is for me, I love you, I'm
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: and be home at ten o'clock, maybe having a twelve
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: o'clock or whatever. Nothing's going to happen, trust me. Yeah,
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: Like my phone's on if you text me, I'll reply,
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: I just want to go out fun with my friends,
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: and this is what I want to wear. I feel good. Yeah,
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Like doesn't he want you to feel good? Yeah? And
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: if he says something, that's when it's like going on
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: the contruls, like it doesn't make me feel good, Like
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: it's what you wear, Like, I don't know how they
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: can make anyone feel bad. Yeah, this is fucking weird. Yeah,
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: Like and just yeah, if a guy comes up to you,
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: he just needs to trust that you're going to be like, no,
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: I have a fucking boyfriend. Yeah. Yeah, you should reenact.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: That's a fun thing to do. Reenact, Like, so you
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: say to your boyfriend, it's a fun little activity. You'll
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: be like, pretend you're a random guy and then say
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: come up to me at the club and then you
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: do your reaction. Yeah, and you can do fun shit
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: and you can like spit on him and shit like
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: but you can do that legit. One of the attempts
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: can be like, hey, I've got a boyfriend. Yeah, I
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: think I think that's probably your best bet. Do you
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: got to try and hammer into him like that. You're
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: really sick of this, yeah, Yeah, it's affecting you. It's
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: coming up on a year. Like I know, it takes
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: a long time to heal trauma, but you just need
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: to slowly, slowly tap away out of it. Yeah, how
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: do I find a good guy to date? I'm twenty
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: five years old, I have a good job, great family,
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: creative pursuits, plus I'm acutie. Last week i'm asked with
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: a guy ten years older than me, which isn't uncommon
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: for me. We got drinks and laughed a lot. At
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: the end of the night, we had a kiss. He
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: invited me over to his place and I told him
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: I don't want to sleep with guys in the first day.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: He was sweet and silly about it and said we
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: could just drink some beers and make out. And we did.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: We fought around a little and it was really fun.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: The next day he didn't text me. Tired of waiting,
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: I sent him a message that I had a good time.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: It took him forty eight hours to respond, not even
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: with a date proposal or anything. I'm confused because we
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: had such a nice time, and he even told me
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: that he was obsessed with my lips in quotes. But
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: I really mug but I feel really mugged off. I
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: liked the guy and want to see him again, but
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: I guess he doesn't feel the same. How can I
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: go about asking about it? I want to know if
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: I did something to turn him off, or if he
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: just wanted to sleep with me and not talk to
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: me again. Please help a girl out. I hate it.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: Here was here like this single life, I guess.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: Or with dating men the one I don't know, like
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: I reckon this is case clothes drop him, fuck him.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: I obviously dropp him, fuck him. I do. I do
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: think that when he was like, oh, come back to
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: my place and you said, oh, I don't want to
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: sleep with some of the first date, and then he
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: said that's all right, we'll just we'll just have fun,
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: make out a little, drink some beers, and you said
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: yes to that. I think in his head he thought, oh,
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: she will sleep with me to yeah. I think he
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: thought like, oh, yeah, no, she she at least get ahead. Yeah,
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: like she'll will do something like you know, she'll she'll
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: she'll change her mind. There's one thing. We've brought it
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: up on the pot a couple of times. When you
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: start dating people, you should make like a little doesn't
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: have to be a physical list, but at least a
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: little mental list of some of the things you need
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: out of your partner moving forward. And one of those
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: things I think most lists should have is he slashed.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: She she knows what she wants out of the relationship. Yeah,
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: and you obviously like you're looking for a relationship. By hell,
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: you're talking. He obviously is looking to sleep with people. Yes,
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: he can't say that you can, so you should just
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: be like, Nah, this isn't the right guy for me.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: You can't change people like that. What you've got to
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: accept in a relationship. You can't change the people you
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: want to sleep with, Like that's just how they are
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: and it's not healthy when you try and do it.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: It's such a good point, like manipulation, A little bit true, man, true.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: I think year, I don't know. I think that he's
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: fucking you're twenty five, he's thirty five. There's nothing wrong
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: with that. But I don't know. I think I think
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: you're just not reading between the lines. He saw a
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: pot twenty five year old acuteye as you said, match
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: with the one that wanted to go on a date
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: with him. Yeah, and he's like, fuck, yeah, I'm going
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: to have sex with her, and then you did the
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: right thing and said I want to wait, and he's like,
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: oh damn it. And then you just gonna get some
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: drinks and he's probably like, oh, if she gets a
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: few drinks, I can have sex for all. He probably
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: was thinking that, yeah, and that's not right by any means.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: So I think if you dodged a ball in the way,
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: and I think it's it is quite often like the attractive,
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: charismatic guys that are the creeps that do think that, like, oh,
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: if I could just get it back to my place,
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: like I'll I'll get the consent like they they get
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: like they do the nice thing, like they get consent,
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: like they don't fucking like, you know, sexually assault you.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: But I think it's the guys that like just chip away. Yeah,
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: y're the shitty creepy dudes. Yeah, you dodged a bullet,
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: I think in a way. And you said, what did
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: I do wrong? That's a lot of people say that
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: when they like they come out of a date and
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: it didn't work out, and it's always like, what can
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: I do better? Well, can I do something to make
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: him love me more? It's not you, It just didn't work,
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: Like the situation of YouTube being together didn't work. You
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: weren't the problem. You're not fucking ugly, you weren't not
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: funny or anything like that. It's that you guys don't
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: gel together or you're in different headspaces. It's not a
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: you problem, it's the together problem. Yeah, I'm not what
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: I'm about to say. I'm not saying in a mean way,
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: all right, but like I don't mean it in a
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: mean way, and I'm sure you do. But I think, like,
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: if you're asking yourself, like what did I do wrong?
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: Are you all that confident in yourself? Like if you
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: were if you had one hundred percent confidence in yourself
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: and you went in a date with a guy, I
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: had a great time, thought he really liked you, but
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: then he didn't message you and he didn't ask you
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: on a second date. If you were like very confident
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: in yourself, wouldn't you just be saying to yourself like
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: he loss? You know, I was being myself. I'm happy
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: with how I was, Like, I'm happy with my own
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: self like his loss. This might be like a feminine
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: thing because I know we've come out of dates before.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: Might be wrong, but it might be not gender irrespective,
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: but we come out of dates and I'm like, she
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: was nice, but I'm like, didn't click. Yeah, but do
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: girls come out of that situation and be like, oh,
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: what could I have done better? For him to say
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: that had a great time, Let's do it again sometime.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: I don't know, Like we come out of this didn't work,
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: but it's not right for each other. It's a good question,
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: Like I'm confident in myself. Yeah no, Yeah, like I don't.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: I've gone on dates where yeah, I haven't messaged her
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: and she hasn't messaged me, not once, So I think, like,
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: but other girls thinking like what could have I done better? Weird? Yeah,
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: I don't know. That's a good question. Yeah. So that's
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: what I'm thinking, is like if you are you fully ready?
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: Is what I'm trying to say, Like I feel like
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: you know you're ready when you on a date and
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: it doesn't work out. They don't ask you in the
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: second one, but instead of asking yourself, did I do
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: something wrong to turn him off? Like I thought it
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: was going so well? You just accept like, oh he
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: was kind of acting the whole time, and I was
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: I'm happy with who I am, so that he obviously
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: just didn't like me. That's not gonna work out. I know.
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: I don't overthink it, but a lot of people don't
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: think it through when they go on date sometimes like
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: thirty five year old who wants to sleep with you?
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: Like different stage of the life. A this guy doesn't
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: mature or anything like that. No, I don't know why
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: he want him back. Yeah, Like is it a red
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: fag would be twenty five and think like that goes
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: thirty five and single still but nothing wrong with being single.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: He maybe he's divorcing, he's got some kids or whatever.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: He's getting back out there. But like, I don't know,
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: I think, like in my head, yeah, that's what we
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: do it, like we do think that. I do think
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: you've got to be in the similar stage of life.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: That's why age does matter. It's because some people think
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: like I'm made em but I'm mature. I can get
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: with a fucking forty year old. Yeah, but like they
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: don't know what matuit is. No. I didn't know what
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: maturity was at eighteen. I know I probably don't know
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: what maturity is now. Yeah. I thought it was mature
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: and then you like you get to like I thought
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: I was mature at twenty and I get to twenty four,
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: Like I didn't even know the same person. Fuck no,
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: we know someone from school that as soon as they
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: turned eighteen started dating like a forty something year old. Yeah,
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: still with them, but yeah, so a kid, they've got
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: a kid, they've got a kid, and everything. Isn't that crazy?
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: I don't like it. She's gonna be she's gonna be sixty,
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: and he's gonna be like eighty five. Yeah, money, but
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: we know if he has money, like, is it? I
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: think so. I think that's one of the reasons. God, man,
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: if my daughter was eighteen and started dating a fucking forty,
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: I know you can't like not let him do it,
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: but like fuck, I would be not letting it do it.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: Forty is fucked. I I don't even like illegal or
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: not illegal. I don't know what like or like. You know,
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: she has her own life, she's not. She can make
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: her own choices. I don't give a fuck. I think
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: the way you would bring your daughter up, she would
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: have the mindset not to date a forty year old.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah you being a dad? Yeah, eighteen and a single
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: forty five five year old? Yeah? Fox going on and
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: he has kids of his own. Pretty h he has
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: kids that are like a year younger than her. Wo Okay,
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: my next dilemma, Hi, Mummy, Daddy and uncle Jack. Should
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: we address wear Jack is? Guys, Jack didn't make it.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: He called me this morning he said, I just can't.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: I'm busy at work, can't get work off. And then
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: I go, ah, well, if you want to come on
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: Friday we're pre recording for a while he's away, and
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: he's like, yeah, actually I could get that day off
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: and I going on and I told him and he
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: was like, why couldn't you just do the work out
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: to do today on Friday? Yeah? And Jack missed his
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: big chance today. Actually, we're going to do a full
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: segment with him alfter dilemmas, but now love the pod.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: It gets me through the week, honestly. So here's my dilemma. Sorry,
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: it's a long one. There's this guy who I've been
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: friends with for fourish years. We were introduced by mutual
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: friends and clicked right away. We were always friends, but
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: at times it felt more like a relationship. However, this
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: guy would get a girlfriend. We wouldn't talk during that period,
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: which I respect because guys and girls can't be friends.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: I like this guy and I like this girl. She
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: said she's been in it for four USh years. But anyway,
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: but when they would break up, I would be the
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: first one he would message. This happened twice at the
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: end of last year. We started talking and we both
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: wanted this to become something more, but he is so
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: inconsistent and wouldn't make time for me. So I ended
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: it because I deserve more. But he always comes back
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: for the most part, and I have let him. My
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: dilemma is does he actually have feelings or is it
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: just a comfort thing. We have never done anything else
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: but kiss, so it's not like he just wants a
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: fuck buddy or something. I'm just so confused what this means,
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: because when we are together it is good, but then
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: like he gets scared and pushes me away and it
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: messes with my head. At the moment, we are not
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: in contact, but it's my birthday next week. I know
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: he will message me and I don't know how to
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: handle it. Help. Damn, damn. I reckon. This is so
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: relatable way, I honestly I reckon. Multiple people listening to
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: this for like WHOA, I swear I didn't send a
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: dilemma in yeah, minus the relationship bit. I think I've
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: been this guy before, like talking to a girl and
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: then as soon as he gets close, I've pushed it away.
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I think I've done that. Like I don't.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: I don't relate to the bit where they've been like
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: in and out four years in and out of relationship.
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: I've been with a girl and then like sort of
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: get into that phase where we could take it next
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: levem like, oh no, I don't want to do that, Okay,
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: for what was her real question? Like what's he doing?
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: So he's in and out of relationships and then he
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: she thinks he's getting that a little bit closer, then
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: he pushes away and doesn't give him anything. It's so
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: like when you when you break it down into just
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: like a paragraph like that, I always find I always
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: think like, oh, this is so easy to answer, but
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: it's always like so hard for the person to hear
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: what we have to say, I reckon because they have
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: feelings involved. Yeah, but like I really, one thing you
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: got to ask yourself, is this girl should ask yourself like, Okay,
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: let's just hypothetically speaking hypothetically.
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: Let's just say I.
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: Didn't have feelings for him, I didn't have the four
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: year you know, you're the history. I'm just saying, like,
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: that's just saying this girl doesn't like yeah, and she
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: just asks herself like, Okay, if this was someone that
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: I hadn't had previous feelings for and hadn't didn't have
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: for his history with and I was getting treated like this,
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: what I even consider being with him? Yeah? Probably not
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: at all? You know, like, why are you giving him
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: a chance just because you've had kind of feelings for
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: him for four years? Look, I get it. It's hard,
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: but you don't want to be treated like something like
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: you're just there when he kind of wants you. It's
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: hard to let go, especially when you haven't had like
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: you don't know what the highs of the relationship are
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: like yet Yeah, I'm still sort of chasing them. Yeah.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: So it's just like I still want it, but I can't.
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: I don't get it. I only get like ten percent
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: of it. M So it's like it is hard to
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: let go. But you're right, right, if you'd reassess it
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: like that, like if it was just a random guy
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: and he started talking to you, and then just as
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: soon as you got close, he started being all dry,
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: texting and inconsistent. Would you give him a second chance? No,
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: you wouldn't doubt it. You deserve and you deserve better.
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: So it is it is simple. Yeah, when you break
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: it down like that, it's simple because like the reason
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: we can break it down.
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: So easily is because we just hear what you're saying.
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: What's let's break down what's Why is he doing that? Though?
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: So he's in and out of relationships, and as soon
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: as they break up, he's like, oh hey, Ashley, Like
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: he's doing it because she lets him. Forgot you were there.
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: It is a comfort thing. Hey, he does it because
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: she lets him do it. M Yeah, stabling it. Yeah,
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: it's about putting yourself first a little bit. Yeah, she
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: is enabling enabling it, which is hard to hear. It
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: is hard to said she Probably she's realizing that, like
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: it's a birthday. She doesn't know how to respond when
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: he's going to send her a happy birthday massage. I
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: reckon even don't respond, try try not responding, even just
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: try cutting him out, blunt no response like it it's
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: thanks true? Yeah, thanks, no, not thanks? How what he
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: been up to? Yeah? Don't let a conversation go yeah,
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: let it just leave it at what it is, or
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: even look, if you wanted to, I wouldn't. I wouldn't
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: think that you're a simple or whatever the fucking new
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: term for it is these days. I wouldn't. I wouldn't.
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: Did you figure out what your brother that word was?
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: I haven't seen him. Was the gibby somebody like these kids?
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: Jake was getting old day. It was at the computer
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: and he's like, what is skimmity means? He's like, I'm
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: gonna ask my little brother. Am I text him? What
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: is skimmity mean? I don't think it means anything? Okay,
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: but maybe you could. You could just confront him. Yeah,
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: Like I feel like there's like everyone like you're What
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: I'm about to say is probably the scariest thing ever
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: to do. Okay, confront him, tell him you want to
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: meet up? All right? He comes and picked you up.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: I don't know. You go get some fucking coffee. I
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: don't know. But you say to him, like, look, been
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: four years you've been in relationships. You've not spoken to
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: me while you're in the relationships. I get it, respect that,
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: but when you leave the relationships, you talk to me
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: after your last one. You said you want to have
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: a crack of this. I was keen, and then once
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: we started to get close, you pulled away. It's like,
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: basically you could say to him, you could even say
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: to him like, if you weren't someone that had I
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: had a four year history with and had feelings for
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: for four years, I would literally not even think about
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: giving you a second chance. Okay, this is how it
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: makes me feel like I feel like shit, Like I
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: feel like you don't want me, but you tell me
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: you want me. Ask him, just confront him, Just ask him.
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: And if he's gonna be like, uh, I don't know,
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: I don't know, then he's not fucking old enough immature
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: enough to have you put him in his place. Yes,
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: they stop leading me on. Yeah, makes me feel like shit,
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: Like do you want me to feel like shit? Because
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: that's what you're doing. Don't let him and like also,
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: don't be like, don't let him just like say oh
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: you're trapping me, or like anything he says where he's
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: gonna try and make it like you're acting crazy. Yeah,
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: you're just doing this for yourself for closure. Don't they
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: do for one second, don't let him do that, and
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: I bet you he'll do it. I bet you he
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: will too, because it's in his head. He's never it's
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: never gonna happenm between you two. Yeah, I bet he's
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: gonna be like, what are you talking about? Like like
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: it just didn't work out, or like you're you're being crazy,
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: Like don't let him do that, please. Just loves the
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: attention enough to like a little heartbreak with the girl
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: he actually tries to get with. Do not enabled him? Yeah, exactly,
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: all right the lemmas O. All right, Jake, have you
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: ever been scrolling on Instagram and one of your mates
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: posts a girl? Yeah, and you think, wow, that was weird.
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: He doesn't normally post things like that. No, I bet
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: you haven't because that's not what your brain thinks. That's
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: a good point. Like, I my initial thing is always
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: like if one of our mates post someone and I
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: don't know they're talking to a girl, and I'll see
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: it and they'll be like, oh, like whoa, when did
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: this happen? Yeah, I'm like interested, it's not like wow,
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: this isn't this is different from the contentity. Good for him? Yeah,
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: that's what we do. Good for him? So yeah, not like, oh,
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: what a fucking set. Yeah, set, But this is excuses
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: for him not posting you. Yeah, these these this is
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: like reasons guys give for not posting Yeah. Go first, sure,
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: I just want to keep our relationship private. I said,
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: I live a private life. It's such a such a
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: cop out. Reasons he gives for not posting you. The
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: people that are important to me know about you. Isn't
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: that enough? That's like an extension on the private one.
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: Like my friend, like Jake knows about you. That's all
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: that matters. Is the only people that I even see
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: know about you. Like, isn't that good? I've told my mom. Fuck, Okay,
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: excuses for not posting you. I don't post on Instagram.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: That's the only one that I think could be semi valid.
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: But then also the argument is like, okay, if you
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: don't care about what you're posting, you don't post just
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: posting yeast I just posted one hand or something. Yeah,
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: reasons he gives for not posting you. I just don't
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: in our relationship to look fake. That one hurt, Like
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: is it fake? Fake? Social media is just so fake,
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: Like I just want to date you in real life.
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: We're putting on a persona on social media. I don't
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: want a relationship with you through social media in real life, dudes,
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: is so tragy. Reasons for not posting you. I'm having
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: a social media detox. That's the worst one. I reckon,
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: that's the worst one, because that detox better be for
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: the rest of your fucking life. Story that afternoon running
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: of the boys. Reasons he gives for not posting you.
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: The couples that post each other, they never last anyway.
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: Oh that's gas lighting. Yeah, that's gas lighting. Fuck it.
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: If I heard that, I'd be like, all right, we're
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: broken up there. Yeah, the world doesn't need to see
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: our love. We know it, so that's all that matters. Fuck,
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: that's also gaslight. That's also gaslighting. This fucking these actually
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: these aren't. These are all gas lighting things. Yeah, pretty much.
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: These are all making her be like, oh yeah, maybe
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: like if we do that it is faith. Yeah. Reasons
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: he gifts for not posting you. You're just too pretty.
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't want somebody to try and take you from me.
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: Oh nah, that's still bad. But it's kind of cute
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: at the start. It's like cute, but also it's like,
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: that's the trust issue. Ones coming. Yeah, yeah, reasons for
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: not posting you. The boys will give me shit if
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: I do that. Surely no one's scared about that. I reckon.
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: They're French that call like you're a samp, Like I
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: don't believe you did that. You assume. See. But that's
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: the thing is, like we were just saying before, like
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: we don't.
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: Guys don't really do that, not anymore, No, young people.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: Maybe when we were younger and eighteen and imature a
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: little bit, but like, it's not like every single post
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: is going to be It's not like I'm posting a
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: carousel of ten photos of Yeah. Here's the thing I
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: would understand. Okay, if you are someone if you're a
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: girlfriend that posts a lot of your life on Instagram
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: and you post your boyfriend because that's part of your life.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: And if you're a boyfriend that posts a lot of
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: your life on Instagram but doesn't post your girlfriend like
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: at all, it's almost like you're making an effort to
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: not post her because you post your life, Like, just
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: be proud of the fact that you have a girlfriend. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: you know, if you make the commitment to ask a
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: girl out, I think that should mean you're proud to
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: call her your girlfriend, yeah, and you're praid to I
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: don't know. Me and Jake both have the mindset that like,
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: if you ask someone to be your girlfriend, like she
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: becomes your queen and she'll be like put on like
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: a bit of a pedestal. Yeah, and like I don't
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: it's like barely post Beth though. Yeah, it's not like
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: it's not like you ask like, oh, can I go
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: on your story? It's more like when it happens, like
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: I don't know, you're doing something on a cool day
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: and there's just a sick picture there, and then you
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: just post it like it feels right. You don't just
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: fucking ask her. At the at the start of Mine
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: and best relationship, I was like, oh, yeah, I just don't.
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: I don't want to post you right now. And you
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: know what she even said to me at the start
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: was like, don't post because because we were in like
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: this growth phase of like the podcast and like our
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: personal socials were getting some followers. She said. She was like, oh,
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: right now, if you think about it, like the people
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: that follow you on your personal accounts, not all of them,
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: but some of them probably do follow you because they
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: think they have a chance. Oh yeah, and she was
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: like she was she like didn't care about not me
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: not posting her and stuff like that. And then I think, like,
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: also one thing that I fucking really enjoyed, like really
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: really enjoyed, I took like baby baby steps because I
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: started posting photos just of me, you know, like the
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: orders of me narcissistic self. But I would write photos
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: taken by Pickle and everyone was like, who the fuck
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: is Pickle? Who's Pickle? And my comments were just like
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: who's Pickle? Who's Pickle? Was there like ten times? And
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: then someone fucking someone commented is Pickle at Bethany Cummens.
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: They figured it out, and I was like, fuck figured
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: it out. But the reason they figured it out is
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: because I went through that phase. Everyone except some people
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: go through her following it. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: need to make actually private, that's what you're down for.
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: Then I might I might unfollow family because like for
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: the reason of them not so then they can't find
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: my family getting hacked or something, because like I bet
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: you my mom's addresses on the line. She definitely posted
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: her some of must send you some free to sucks
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: or something. Yeah, true, you never know. But that's it's funny,
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: like if any of these guys giving you these excuses,
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: like it is this daunting thing at the start, I
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: think it is. Yeah, but like eventually, like a month
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: or a couple months in like he should be doing it. Yeah,
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I think on once you know that, like, yeah,
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: we're not going to fucking break up anytime soon. Yeah,
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: and like if you break up, just still lead them
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: yeah yeah, yeah, yeah exactly, and just start start baby
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: steps like James said, start a little story. Yeah, the
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: back of her walking. And it's another thing that sucks,
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: like it's something we have to deal with now because
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: of social media. We never no one ever used to
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: have to deal with that obviously, Like you would just
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: have a girlfriend and there was no where to post it,
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: so you would just introduce her to people when you
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: saw them. Ah.
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: But now it's like it is a thing. It's has
• 47:03
  Speaker 2: become a big thing.
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: I think if you're confident enough to post me it
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: sort of like shows you're a bit proud in your relationship. Yeah,
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: because he's the thing is if if social media existed
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: back in the day, I would have been posting that
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: shit everywhere. Yeah, and I don't mean like especially if
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: you have like if you just use social media not
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: as a business, like purely for the fact of your
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: friends to show them your life, I don't think you
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: should have any problems. Nah, Like if you're one of
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: those influencer girl who's are asked and it's like a business.
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: Slightly different because I know, I know a lot of
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: girls on who are influenced would probably have a lot
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: of guys in the fucking following because they think they
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: have a chance and if they posted a boy, they
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: get unfollowed, one follow, one follow. That does happen a lot. Yeah,
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: I reckon that would happen a lot. So it's a
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: slightly that's a different scenario. That's very confusing and hard
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: to feel different. Yeah yeah, but if you just use
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: if you use Instagram like socially, no excuses. Yeah, Like
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: here's okay. The final reason that really is the only
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: main reason. All those other ones are excuses. Those are
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: not reasons, their excuses. The main reason that every single
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: guy will tiptoe around and never admit for not posting
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: their girlfriend is because they just don't want to look
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: like they have a relationship. They want to look single.
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: For some reason. I don't know why, but for some
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: reason that's the case. And it's just it's just it's
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: just is what it is. But no one would ever
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: come out and admit that, like they're not it's it's
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: it's weird, but it's just the way it is. So
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: if that, if your boyfriend's giving you these reasons like
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: funk off, you just want to look single on there anything,
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: but no, no, no, the reason don't know it. You can
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: be like, yes, it is like whatever, just tell me
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: the truth, tell me the truth. Just love me, just
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: love me. So like, if you tell me the truth,
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: I won't care, but just tell me why, all right, Jake,
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: maybe last week, a couple of weeks ago, you came
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: to the main episodes with a good deep question which
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: was posed a very good conversation after that. What was
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: it again? It was if you lost the ability to
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: he lost the ability to speak, or if they lost
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: the ability to speak, would you still feel loved by
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: their actions? Yes, so this is sort of similar but
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: a little bit different, and it sort of makes you
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: think in that same way. Okay, So the question is,
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: if you lost the ability to bond through physical intimacy,
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: would you do anything different to connect emotionally. WHA good question? Yeah,
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: would you do it? In Layman's terms, no more sex? Yeah,
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: if you couldn't have sex anymore, what would you do
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: to bond? I'm a big cuddler. Yeah, watching a movie
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: and cuddling love that. You know what else? I fucking
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: love it more if you didn't. I feel like I
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: do it a lot now. Actually, see, yeah, that's what
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: I was thinking. I was like, what would I do differently?
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: Because obviously there's no better connection than having intimate sex
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: with your loved one. That's yeah, that's the most the
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: most intense form of connection.
• 49:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I reckon I would and I
• 49:57
  Speaker 3: would say I love you more.
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: That's what I asked the again I was I was
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: even thinking the most simple, simple action of I would
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: want to hold her hand more. Yo, just I feel
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: like that's very intimate. For some reason, I think I
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: am the same. I think I would be a lot
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: more huggy, more cuddly, not more holding her hands in public.
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: I would probably I would probably just like kiss her
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: more at random times. Yeah, not that I don't. I'm
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: one of those boyfriends though, that's like, he give me
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: a kiss and she's like, if you do someth weird,
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna fuck her or something. But I also, yeah,
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: like I think I did. I feel like best of
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: myself do a lot of bonding outside of sex. We
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: do like to just like hang out, which everyone does though,
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: but like quality times. Yeah, I don't know. I think
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: maybe more deep chats. I feel you'd feel like you're
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: missing something, so you'd have you'd have a new way
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: of like trying to really understand. I think I would.
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: Maybe I might try more my deep chats. Yeah, that's
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I actually see my deep chats because
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: sometimes as a guy, this is probably one of my
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: downfalls in relations Sometimes like you're having a deep chat
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: and like in the back of my head, I'm just
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: like I'm tired, Like I don't want to do it, yeah,
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: which is probably not want to save managy for sex
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: the best, but not all the time. Sometimes I love
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: having a deep chat, but sometimes I'm just like I'm
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: not in the mood right now. Yeah, I'm the type
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: to avoid deep chats when it's about myself, Like I
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: like having a deep chat about a topic or you
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: mean a relationship together or yeah, the future or something like,
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: I do love them, but it's got to be the
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: right timing for me. But I think if I don't know,
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: the physical intimacy was off with cards, I think I
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: would enjoy those deep chats. You cherish them, Yeah, because
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: there's such a deep intellectual connection and that's like connecting
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: in a way that's like intellectual sex. Yeah. That's a
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: good question though, Man, that's a really good question. It's
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: anyone listening, fuck, good question. Ask yourself, like, because then
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: you can just take it and could we could just
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: act like you know, don't take sex out of your relationship.
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: But just if you think to yourself, what would I
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: do if if there was no physical bonding, how would
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: I want to bond with my partner? Like without that?
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: Whatever you think of, just try and start implementing it.
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: I wonder if it would just make it like better better. Yeah, Yeah,
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: these questions are really good to like reassess your relationship
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: and think what are they doing and what can you
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: do better? Yeah? And it makes you, like, I know,
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: self reflect really well. Yeah, do you find so with
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: your brother, with your mom, with your dad, siblings, whatever?
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: Like I don't have to say I love you, I don't.
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: I don't have to act a certain way to make
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: them feel loved by me. I don't need them to
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: act a certain way. I just know that they love me.
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: Like I know that Joanna would do anything at the
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: drop of a hat, like if I needed it. Yeah,
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: and I know like my parents blah blah blah. Now
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: I know that my girlfriend would. But do you feel
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: like and like she knows that I would, But do
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: you think that you still need to act a certain way?
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: Like sometimes if Beth and I are both I don't know,
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: maybe like in moods where we're just like stand offish
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: and just like we're both just like tie blah blah
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: blah blah, kind of both admit like fuck, we feel
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: a bit distant, like how do we and like if
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: that was all the time, although we both know that
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: we're doing things for each other, do you think it
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: would like kind of tarnish it, you know what I mean?
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: Even though you're you know your girlfriend loves like there's
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: unconditional love there, but do you still need to do
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: these things to show it?
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: Yes?
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, Kim, I think in a relationship with like
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: an intimate relationship, yes, yeah, because family unconditional love is
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: different to relationship love. Yeah, No, definitely, and I think
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: you do need that different people doing different amounts, Like you,
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: it's called like positive assurance. Like sometimes some people can
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: go for probably I don't know, days lash weeks without
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: fucking having intimate connection or even like I don't know, kissing. Yeah,
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: some people need the Some people need that I love
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: you before I go to work. Yeah I'm a bit
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: I love you before I go to bed. Yeah I
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: have to. Yeah, it is, and some people don't like
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: it just comes down to personal preference. But I definitely
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: think you need that, like positive insurance and that type
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: that different type of connection and intimate relationship compared to
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: family just because you can't beat family love. Like, there's
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: no comparison to it. Really, it's not really comparable to
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: intimate love. Yeah, I think you're comparing like tomatoes to
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: like orangers. Yeah, that's a good point. They're not in
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: the same realm. It's no type. Like for instance, if
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: you wanted to break up with a girlfriend or a
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: boyfriend and you say I want to break up, they
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: kind of have to accept that and respect your decision.
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: They can't be like nah, whereas if you want it
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: to your dad and you're like, Dad, I'm breaking up
• 54:35
  Speaker 2: with you.
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: He'll be like, shut the fuck up. Yeah, you're connected
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: through blood, which is like a connection like nothing else
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: whereas like it's sort of like if you had a
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: kid with you said partner. Yeah, so that's then it
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: becomes family and it's then it becomes that tomato.
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: Thru Yeah, but like people still get divorced.
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, but you love your kid unconditionally. Yeah. Weird,
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: very very very weird. But I know these questions are good.
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: I like, bring him up on the pod. Same. All right, everybody,
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: thank you for listening. Once again. You know what time
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: it is. I believe that I just want to keep
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: our relationship cry having a social media day talks the
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: people that are important to me. Is that enough? My
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: friends will give me? Did your boyfriend will girlfriend say
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: this to you that he does? We know the real
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: reason I don't want to post on social media. What
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: is it, Jake? He want everyone to think you're or
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: yeah single?
• 55:31
  Speaker 4: I want to put him in your mouth. Pollimal down south.
• 55:35
  Speaker 4: You want to turn the ship. That's what I'm talking about.
• 55:39
  Speaker 4: Put him in your mouth. Polliminal down south. You want
• 55:43
  Speaker 4: to turn this ship.
• 55:44
  Speaker 5: That's what I'm talking about. Diet makes it sens to
• 55:52
  Speaker 5: the day. I think he said, let's decide.
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: That flounce.
• 56:00
  Speaker 4: She's so delicious.
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: Ah. Thanks everybody for listening. If you're on Spotify, stubbed
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: the Patreon