Latest / The Treehouse Show Podcast / Episode 14 - Alfie Finds The PERFECT Gift For Dan (Or Dan's Rump) On Craigslist

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Episode 14 - Alfie Finds The PERFECT Gift For Dan (Or Dan's Rump) On Craigslist · The Treehouse Show Podcast

0:22
Welcome inside the treehouse. I'm Dan, O'Malley Alfie Coy. You're over there
0:28
and you're a corner, say hello, Well, I mean they know I'm
0:35
here. Well, we just like to make sure. And why do you
0:39
saying studio, I'm kind of I'm trying to paint a picture here, grump
0:46
us. You make it sound like the other or something. You make it
0:52
sound like, well, like he's in time out. No, it's just
0:54
what we're doing is we're hanging out in the treehouse in our own separate corners,
0:57
and then the show starts and then we kind of jump into the middle
1:00
and you know, hang out. That's weird. You're making it sound like
1:03
it's the Shining or all back into separate corners because we've been stuck in a
1:07
cabin for six months. Is that the shining or is that more a blaired
1:11
witch project? Either way, whatever, we're ready. When when people are
1:18
it's sort of like when when they turn the show on, it's almost like
1:22
we're in there, we're not really doing anything until they hit play. Then
1:25
when they hit play, boom, now we all we all come to life.
1:27
So it is kind of and sorry baby that we put you in a
1:30
corner. You're in a corner tree. He's about to put references. Inside
1:37
of a minute, men were already on a roll and Trey Trenholm coming out
1:40
of his corner with the dirty dancing reference. How is it your single?
1:49
It's a miracle, you got a hot dog and you know, uh,
1:56
classic chick films. Yeah that's okay. Yeah, I can't like the notebook
2:02
still. No, all right, So I had an idea of where to
2:12
start today and then Alfie threw something at me like he normally does, So
2:16
now I want to start with that instead. You're gonna love this, Dan,
2:20
I'm telling you, am I, because yeah, I don't think I
2:23
am. This is um. I don't know if I can wait to give
2:27
this to you until your birthday, because your birthday is not for at least
2:30
like what six months? Yeah, at least like the Math, but something
2:36
like that. Yet, there's somebody on Craigslist selling something that I think would
2:43
be absolutely just perfect for you specifically, Dan, I don't like where this
2:47
is starting, and I'm truly terrified of where it might be going. Somebody
2:53
is selling an Olympus OSF sigmoido fiber scope. The hell is that? So?
3:04
I say, somebody I know specifically who's selling it, because they posted
3:07
an invoice from nineteen eighty three with the Craigslist add you want to buy You
3:22
want to buy a forty year old fibroid something or another. It's a camera
3:27
Lin a camera, Lind camera other than my film. Don't worry. It
3:31
comes to the camera. It comes with the camera. It's a Polaroid.
3:35
It's a film camera again from nineteen eighty three. Oh god, but it
3:39
is an Olympus OSF sigmoido fiber scope with an Olympus penn F film camera.
3:46
The person that bought it is a doctor named Henry Birdwell Junior. This is
3:52
a yeah, he was over all Summit Avenue in Fort Worth in the eighties.
3:55
I can know all this because I'm looking at his frigging invoice and that
4:00
he prised it on Craigslist. Yes, the Primary Care sigmoido fiber scope ran
4:08
for about twenty eight hundred dollars in nineteen eighty three, so it's a bargain
4:13
today's dollars. Well, it's it's selling for a frigging bargain right now at
4:16
four hundred bucks on Craigslist. That seems kind of high. It did well.
4:21
I mean forty year old technology. I can't imagine you get any sort
4:28
of last camera lens for four hundred dollars. That's forty years old. It
4:32
is a very long camera lens. Dan, I don't know if you're you're
4:38
able to tell from the name, but the OSF Sigmoido fiber scope is a
4:45
fiber optic lens, a very long, snaky lens that you used to shove
4:49
places. What do you mean for like a for like a plumber who's snake
4:55
in a dream? You could. I'd imagine there was a plumber or two
4:59
that used one of the but I don't know that they would be that effective
5:00
in the field. As a plumber, the thing is how you'd have to
5:02
go get the film developed and all that stuff. But as a doctor,
5:08
if I had a nice, long, snaky camera lens, Oh, are
5:14
you trying to buy me like an at home colonoscopy? Yes? Oh,
5:19
oh no, no, no, come on, what's wrong with that?
5:24
First of all, I'm not so I don't that's a DIY project. This
5:31
is this is for the man who bought himself his very own bluetooth. Uh.
5:36
What was the damn thing called the scope? The ear and nose scope
5:41
that you bought that was handy, and you is and you you needed it
5:46
because you because you needed to find your ear wax. So I don't think
5:50
you ever got a chance to see this thing. So what it was?
5:53
It actually I'm actually holding a pin, but it looked like a pin,
5:57
but you it was. It was a camera right on the tip. It
6:00
was a camera with a little light on the end of it. And also
6:03
there was like a little extension with like little tweezers on the end of it.
6:08
Right, So on this one tip of what looked like a pin,
6:11
you had a light, You had tweezers, and a camera which would then
6:16
bluetooth back to your phone so you could see what it sees on your phone.
6:21
So you could stick that into your ear and grab earwax or any other
6:25
obstructions and pull them out. You could do the same thing up your nose.
6:29
See that's cold, that's useful. I didn't tell Alfie shove it in
6:33
his butt. You see how excited he is Trey over a device that allows
6:39
him to scope inside of his nose in his ear. Imagine at least twenty
6:43
first century technology. Imagine if Dan had that kind of capability to search just
6:50
way up in his coaling, just into that large intestine alby. You know
6:58
I love Dan, and I know you do too, But I can assure
7:01
you never once have I looked at something and goes, man, that would
7:04
be good up Dan's ass. Thank you, Drey, thank you, we're
7:11
brothers. Never not the reason why you've never thought I was shoving anything in
7:17
my ass, because then it would feel kind of incestuous. I've never never
7:20
been at a souvenir storing them. That's a nice coffee mug that great shoved
7:26
up Dan's I went up in Dan's ass, and all I got was this
7:30
lousy mug on the other How the other side of the mug, it says,
7:35
by the way, how the hell did this mug get inside Dan's ass?
7:42
Dan's ass? It's so cavernous. There's a gift shop. I sent
7:48
you guys a link to this listing. This is one of the weirdest things
7:53
I've ever seen on Craigslist. So you asked about why it's selling for four
7:57
hundred bucks. It's two parts. Well, the first part is a camera
8:01
like a little thirty five millimeter cameras called an olympus pen it's actually a very
8:05
well known camera. They run for about you know, two three four hundred
8:09
bucks these days, and and they're just cool little pocket cameras. You know,
8:18
if you're a hipstery vintage retro film photographer, you can carry one around
8:22
with you and you can snap all your snapshots and you post on Instagram and
8:26
get all the cool hipster girls to like you. But this guy comes with
8:33
something that I've never seen sold before, something that, like I said,
8:37
was around three grand in nineteen eighty three. So I'm looking at the image
8:43
of it, so it's it's it looks sort of like a like a twentieth
8:48
century Pelican case. So it's got the foam on the top to where it
8:54
will kind of a protect the things. And then it looks like a metal
8:58
or a plastic tray that has the grooves set out or in inlaid for the
9:05
chord to go and the various I guess little attachments for this butt snake.
9:13
Yes, and is in the upper right is that the is that the camera?
9:20
Uh the upper right is the camera's sort of like a t. Yes,
9:26
that's facing left. That's the camera. Okay. Now, the thing
9:28
that is directly to the left of the camera. It looks an awful lot
9:31
like some type of enema bulb, like a plug of some sort to control
9:37
leakage. That's what I'm asking. This is the first i've seen those control
9:41
Okay, I'm a photographer, Dan, I'm not a medical photographer. Well,
9:46
I'm sorry. You're you are the photographer of record on this show.
9:50
Therefore, and by the way, you're also you're also the ship's doctor.
9:56
Yeah, you're gonna need to You're gonna need to blend the two world.
10:01
You're the bones of the treehouse. Yeah, McCoy. Uh so, so
10:07
is that? What is the bold looking thing in the box? The bald
10:13
looking thing, I have no clue. The snake is the lens. The
10:18
long tubular snake is the lens. Like you see the part in the very
10:22
very top left of the of the photo. The thing that looks like a
10:26
quarter inch speaker, Yeah, like a headphone plug like like like and for
10:31
people that don't know, quarter inch is the big one. Yeah, the
10:33
big ass headphone plug. There's basically three that people are familiar with an audio
10:39
There's the tiny eighth inch, which is what headphones used to have, right.
10:43
Um. Then there's the quarter inch, which is what our professional ones.
10:46
Professional ones have. It's the larger one, and the step up from
10:48
there is a good old fashioned three pronged XLR cable. This one's the one
10:52
of the middle. That's not I wouldn't want. Well, first of all,
10:54
I wouldn't want any of them in my ass, But if I had
10:58
to choose, it would be the eighth inch, not the quarter wrench.
11:01
Okay, look at photo number seven in this listing seven. Yes, there's
11:05
there are several photos of these. There are Oh my god, I just
11:11
got the photo two with the briefcase locked. Yeah, there's keys. Yeah,
11:16
it looks like a like a nuclear football. Maybe that's what the bulbs
11:22
for. So I'm looking at picture number seven. Is that the park that
11:26
would go up your butt? Yes, you're too excited about this here.
11:33
I've never seen this before on craigslist. That's dirty. It's not dirt.
11:39
Well, okay, it's not dirty. Okay, No, you're right,
11:43
you're right, you're right. Is it vintage dust? Is that what we're
11:46
calling it? Okay, it's dirty, it's not soiled. How do you
11:52
know that's true? That could be you know, nineteen eighties, Yeah,
11:58
that could be nineteen eighty three poopy material and you want me you want me
12:03
to shove that in my butt. We'll get you some some clarks wipes.
12:05
Dan, Why is it again? Do you think that I would want this
12:09
for my birthday present or really for any reason? To reason? Reason's one,
12:15
your history with the the USB, Bluetooth nasal scope and a lot and
12:20
too I gave to you, and that was a very useful gift. We
12:24
got a lot of use out of that. Show. It's in my garage
12:26
right now, right next to the old squeaky bottle. Uh. The other
12:31
part is that you you have a hesitancy sometimes to go to the doctor when
12:37
it's necessary. No, I don't really. When's the last time, Ohan?
12:43
How many years did it take for me to get you to get a
12:46
brain scan? All right, that's different exactly. You have a hesitancy sometimes
12:50
to go to the doctor when you need to. So I figure if you've
12:54
got something like this at home, it's something that's a little you know,
12:56
diy thing. This is much much better, I would say, than doing
13:01
some sort of web md research. Okay, so serious question. Then,
13:07
So you're concerned about my hesitancy to go see a neurologist about my memory issues
13:11
and men perhaps any sort of issues I might be having with my brain,
13:16
and your solution is to get me a dy kolonoscopies tube. Yes, are
13:22
you are? Is that your very elaborate way of saying I have GIT for
13:26
brains? I'm not I'm not qualified to make any diagnosis here. Dan.
13:35
You don't know what that insurance building code would be. I just you just
13:41
know it has a decimal in there somewhere. Alfie. Do you do you
13:50
develop your own film? I have in the past, nowadays I don't.
13:56
I just because I'm wondering where where Dan would get these pictures developed? And
14:00
well now I know, yeah, exactly. You know what's great about this?
14:03
Now? Thank you, Trey Alfie. This little gift of yours blew
14:09
up in your face. No it didn't. It's going to bo Dan.
14:13
That's that's not fine. I want you to literally blow it up to like
14:15
an eight by ten Oh, I'm okay, yeah, A nice black and
14:20
white of Dan's colin. Oh, I love this idea. A nice A
14:22
nice eight by ten foot black and white of Dan's colin standing guard over seventy
14:28
five, one of them nice like right off seventy five and mocking bird,
14:35
I'd say going northbound that way, everyone going home gets a nice no,
14:39
it needs to be southbound for the obvious reason. You're in the tray,
14:50
Sweet Dan, o'relly and Alfie KOI. All right, we are joined once
15:13
again by our friend Rodney Anderson. You know, Rodney, we've talked a
15:16
lot over the years about you know, people controlling debt and how things can
15:20
you get in the way and it can kind of spiral out of control.
15:22
But recently homeowners got some really bad news property tax increases, which means homeowners
15:30
insurance you know, increases. Basically, everything seems to be going up,
15:35
but you can actually help people save money. Well, one thing is we
15:39
don't like surprises them, and so people called us, customers, called us
15:43
friends, family called me this week and go did you see your property tax
15:46
notice? And then the second thing they're setting there going insurance companies are raising
15:52
their premiums like crazy, I mean forty fifty percent across the board for many
15:56
people. So one thing that's happening is with taxes going up, homeowners insurance
16:02
going up, we try to save people money. Well, one way we
16:04
can save people money is through cash out refiles. Because a lot of people
16:08
are already living on the edge. Are they're living paycheck the three days before
16:11
paycheck. They've got credit card debt, medical debt, other debt, and
16:17
then you throw the higher property taxes and home insurance on their things can spiral
16:22
out of control real fast. So we encourage people to pick up the phone
16:25
and call us and ask questions regarding your debt, your situation. If you
16:29
have good, excellent credit, a lot of equity in your home, a
16:32
cash out refinance may be a perfect solution for you. And one thing I'll
16:37
tell you, Dan, don't wait until it's too late, because what we're
16:40
seeing now is people that have a lot of credit card debt, their credit
16:44
scores are being lowered and they're down. But then they can't get a proof
16:48
or a cash out refinance because they've waited too long. Got so time seems
16:52
to be of the essence here. So like Rodney said, don't wait,
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and by waiting it could possibly get worse. So called Rodney and his team
17:00
right now. Let them get to work on your behalf to see if they
17:03
can actually save you some money. Give him a call. Nine seven two
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nine eight five fifty two hundred. That's nine seven two nine eighty five fifty
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two hundred call that right now, or you can always check out his website
17:14
with great info. It's Rodney Anderson dot com. Thank you, Rodney.
17:18
Thanks and if M Lending is an equal housing lender three thousand Village Parkway Suite
17:21
four hundred, Highland Village, Texas and MLS two three two nine. You're
17:29
in Luke Free House with Dan O'Malley and Alfie Cord. I hadn't thought about
17:40
it until that last segment, but you know, I've been looking for various
17:45
ways to help market the show. And if it takes a billboard of Mike
17:52
Colin southbound on seventy five, I'm willing to take one for the team.
17:59
That's why you're leader. It's not exactly it'd actually be uh, it'd be
18:10
an it'd be uh, it'd be an open door, uh possibility for an
18:17
advertiser to step in and sponsored said billboard, preferably a doctor that would help.
18:26
Do you ever gonna get this? I can. I can put in
18:27
an offer on it. It's four hundred bucks though, which I was still
18:33
thinking of the billboard. Well, oh well that too, Well we got
18:36
device. There's a hell of a lot cheaper than a billboard No, we
18:37
got connections at a clear channel the Billboard company. Yeah. Yes, then,
18:45
by god, Alfie, go for it. You gotta take the vote.
18:51
Dan's Colin is your responsibility, clearly. But I mean he's he put
18:56
in a good to be caring more about Mike Colin than I him, because
19:00
he's the one. Uh what was it you asked? Uh that you asked
19:04
Alphie in the break about about this device? I don't remember. I was
19:08
busy laughing. How was it that you came across said device? Oh?
19:15
I was just on Craigslist. I was checking out Craigslist looking for because uh
19:19
massage, no the uh the no pegging, no U handies outside a grapeline
19:30
bar. Uh. No, I was looking for and go to Craigslist for
19:36
though I was looking for the damn metal cabinet. I still had the tab
19:40
open and I go to the cabinet. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I
19:42
still had the the tab open, and I go to the photo video section
19:45
of Craigslist real quickness to see what the hell they got, and this butt
19:49
camera it's front and center. See this is what happens when you, as
19:55
a single man, have too much time on your hands. This is what
19:59
what too much time on my hands? This was presented to me on a
20:02
silver platter by the podcasting content Gods. No, I mean that's that's a
20:11
good way to spin it. Yeah, it really is. Yeah, if
20:14
that was a politician, yeah, that'd be the way I'd spin it.
20:17
Oh my god, this thing has This thing has fricking instructions too. There's
20:25
a breakdown diagram. This is wonderful. Oh Dan, it comes to the
20:30
suction pump. I don't know why I'm laughing. That's disgusting. Okay,
20:37
so okay, So the fiber scope attaches to a light source and a suction
20:44
pump because it's got like little like, you know, many fiber optic light
20:48
bulbs on the end of it, so you can illuminate, because what good
20:51
is looking up your erectum unless you you know, you got some nice mood
20:55
lighting in there. And that light source is also attached to a suction pump
21:00
and a set of biopsy forceps. Oh yeah, that's that, you know
21:07
what. I wasn't sure before, but that actually convinced me. That's it
21:12
actually come with your very own biopsy forceps. Then why wouldn't you want this
21:18
for your own at home. Personally, why in God's name is somebody selling
21:22
this on Craigslist? All bits aside, that's the one part of it to
21:26
me that is just the most horrific. I guess because this is a medical
21:32
device that is more than likely, very very high likelihood been up dozens and
21:37
dozens of people's asses. And that's why I think whoever discovered this treasure realized
21:42
what they had and instead of just chunking in the middle of a garage sale,
21:47
they're like, this, this is a special item that deserves its own
21:51
showcase. I think this is just the start, right. It starts at
21:53
Craigslist, but eventually it's going to end up at Sotheby's. I just remember,
22:00
are those stories you hear about, like, you know, someone doing
22:02
plastic surgery, like out of their garage or something like that. Yep,
22:06
I you know, I'm fully expecting to see a news story a year from
22:08
now about you know, some mysterious guide you know, doing colonoscopies out of
22:11
his van. Why why in God's name would somebody think that that? Now,
22:22
I take that back, never mind it's Creigslist. Who who would hop
22:27
on Craigslist and go yes, I would like to spend four hundred dollars on
22:32
this uh plastic tubing that's been up many many people's asses. But you're gonna
22:37
find that person on Craigslist. And that what you call vintage now, so
22:41
it is you make it worse some money. It's retro. That's probably why
22:45
it's got a four hundred dollars price tag. Oh lord. The sad thing
22:49
is is that in general that size equipment is I don't think it changed till
22:56
about ten years ago. Like that, that's true. And the type of
23:03
camera that that attaches to it, I mean that doesn't matter. The lens
23:07
is what matters. You can probably get a couple of little like adapters and
23:12
attach this to you know, like a Cannon Digital Rebel or something like that,
23:15
so some enterprising perv with a van can get out there and offer.
23:22
I think you could also go the opposite, right, I think you could
23:25
attach this thing to you know, a thirty five millimetery Hollywood Studio film camera
23:30
and set up a full production. Oh yeah, oh Dan, imagine if
23:34
we could stream with this. People have been clamoring for video, you know,
23:38
people have been saying, hey, this podcast is great, but you
23:41
know, it'd be awesome video feed too. Yeah, careful what you wish
23:48
for folks, kois colonoscopies. Hey, people have jumped into vans for much
23:56
less beneficial reasons. We've already established this is for Dan because again, I'm
24:00
I'm willing to to go, uh, you know, get myself checked out
24:03
of Find it, Trey. You've been inspected by doctor Fettner before, haven't
24:07
you? Yes, exactly, Oh, doctor Fettner, the urologist and toctologist.
24:14
Yeah, that's that's that's prostate. Well, I mean it's all yeah,
24:18
same general thing that you found on Craig's list. Alfie blows way past
24:22
the prostate. It basically wags as it goes right by. Can you figure
24:29
out how long this thing is? Because it's hard for me to really kind
24:33
of get a true gauge of the length of this thing. To me,
24:38
I'm also worried you mentioned gauge. I'm also worried about the thickness. Oh
24:44
my god, are those inch markings on there? Oh? No? Do
24:48
you see what I sufarred it when my parents kept track of my height on
24:52
a door jam. I don't want to know. I don't want to track
24:53
how how deep that's that that hose goes look at look at image number three.
25:00
Look at him is number three and click on it to zoom in.
25:03
U there are like depth markings on this guy. It says thirty and the
25:11
next one says fifty. Please tell me that's not feet. That can't be
25:15
inches? Can it it? Probably? But I think it can. Is
25:22
your body? Like? Okay? With that, intestines are pretty long?
25:27
Okay, serious question. Have you had a call on ascary yet? Dan?
25:32
No, Trey, No, we're still too young. I'm not black.
25:38
Panther died of calling cancer and he was well that was late thirties,
25:42
early forties. Yeah, yeah, he was. Yeah, he was actually
25:47
in his early forties. I think that they can't get it early. But
25:52
it's like my primary doctor said, I'm good for a while. You trust
25:56
your primary doctor. I do. She's she's very good. Really where you're
26:00
from plain? Oh, okay, just making sure. I was gonna don't
26:04
know. I don't ask where she grew up or anything. I was gonna
26:07
rag on you for some sort of you know, Island or Oklahoma doctor,
26:10
But I mean no, and I started with Oklahoma doctors. And there's a
26:15
reason why we came to Texas just saying, Chadwick Boseman kind of change change
26:21
the game in a lot of people's mind. He did. But the good
26:23
thing is, that's why this is turning into old man. This is why
26:26
you get your blood work done. You think you get your blood work done
26:29
to see if there's any reason to go digging deeper, so that way you
26:32
don't end up being such a strong out hypochondriac. You're buying old medical technology
26:37
off at Craigslist. I'm just staying dan the opportunity. How I am thirty
26:45
seven. Well, if you're worried about Chadwick, then it sounds like you're
26:48
the one that needs to go. I am your self checked and I'm more
26:51
than willing to go to a licensed professional who will knock me the fuck out.
27:00
But because this sort of thing, I don't want to have memory of,
27:07
you know, And isn't that the case with colon oscarpies, you're put
27:10
under Like any time a president has to have a colonoscopy, they kind of
27:12
make not a big deal about it, but they're like, you know,
27:15
the vice president will be taking over from you know, noon to three pm
27:18
today while the president has a routine colonoscope. Yeah, and then during that
27:22
time. All they do is they stick him out in the rose gardens.
27:23
They don't touch anything. But yeah, they have to do it because you're
27:27
under at Yeah exactly. That's why I'm looking to y'all for guidance on this
27:34
sort of thing. I think y'all have to do it as the vanguard of
27:37
the show. Vanguard, get it, Alpha, you're getting good at those.
27:48
I don't want any credit for those. That's why they're my favorite,
27:51
is because you do aim. Accidentally. I'm really torn into whether and I
27:57
should put in a bid or an offer on this awful thing, you know
28:02
what, because I want it for the show, offer him, offer him
28:03
a hundred bucks and see where it goes. I want it for the show,
28:07
but I don't want it. I mean a hell of a advertisement next
28:11
time we do a live show. Yeah, they used to do like blood
28:18
drives. So we're gonna do the Treehouse ass drive. We can get Bow
28:30
and Jim to come out. Oh all right, promote time. All right,
28:47
let's now that now that we've fleshed out this whole opportunity and speaking of
28:56
questionable decisions around transportation, Trey, do me a favorite. Uh, catch
29:04
me up to speed on on your particular romantic situation. And I don't think
29:11
Alfie is aware of any any of this. So, uh, my former
29:21
romantic relationship okay, Um, the last last romantic relationship than I knew of
29:27
of Trey was this one. Hold on, han, I'm gonna let me
29:33
send you an emoji real quick? Was the oh into our group chat?
29:37
Yes? Was this one? Am I wrong? Is that the same one
29:45
we're talking about? No? Okay, this is the one afterwards it's so
29:51
it's it's it's a recent one, Alfie. Okay, Well, I don't
29:53
know. I don't know. I haven't been up to date you you you
29:56
don't know Tray's dated a few people since he left the radio show back in
30:00
twenty twelve. Well, I'm not one to Yeah, I'm not one to
30:03
you know, make guesses on antic life. She you think Tray has been
30:10
in a You think Tray has been in an eleven year dry spell? No,
30:15
not dry spell in an eleven year relationship? Oh yeah, No,
30:18
that's even funnier. Right now, all of Tray's xers are going that is
30:25
hysterical. Yeah, but one in a one in particular, this one a
30:29
little more recently. Okay, Yeah, my last long term relationship. We've
30:34
got together and moved in together with her kids and serious relationship, and trade
30:41
was very very happy. Yeah for a while I was. And then like
30:45
most relationships, they start out great. Yeah, they start out great,
30:48
and then they slowly deteriorate, and then then COVID comes along and get locked
30:52
down with somebody and then that's when this gets real. But uh no,
31:02
So early on in our relationship, as it happened, her car got stolen
31:07
and at the time, I, you know, I had access to two
31:15
vehicles, so I gave her my Mercedes to drive around. So anyways,
31:21
and then even after we split up or we went through this on again off
31:29
again thing for probably a good year and a half. We've all been there.
31:33
Yeah, so um, but I felt bad for she. You had
31:38
a fairly successful business and then COVID kind of all screwed everything up. And
31:42
because she had two kids, I, by the way, just kids make
31:48
a relationship a lot harder. So I, even after like I moved out
31:55
and whatever, I let her keep my car. I felt bad. I
31:59
I didn't want her to, you know, not have a vehicle to get
32:00
her kids and do all the other things. And so I just let her
32:04
have it. And and also I subsidized her when she needed help. And
32:12
while she was you was a shag around. No, not not to that
32:15
extent, but I helped out with with some bills and stuff. Just again,
32:25
I loved her very much, and and but also being in a relationship
32:31
with kids, you feel some responsibility, especially, you know, and I
32:35
love them and they're great, but I didn't, you know, I didn't
32:37
want to really see any harm come to them. So anyways, finally,
32:44
after a while, uh, I got very irritated with her, mainly and
32:51
you too, You've known me long enough so you can easily see this happening.
32:55
She got mad at her dog, and basically the dog was acting out
32:59
because she didn't give it any attention. And so all of a sudden,
33:00
she was taking the dog to the pound, and I was like, oh,
33:04
hell no, oh no, no, no, give me my car
33:07
back. So she just goes, you know what, I'm done with you,
33:09
doggie. We're gonna go get rid of you. Yeah. Pretty much.
33:14
Dogs she'd raised, you know, sense of puppy, and the dog
33:17
definitely was a problem and kind of like children, you know, if you
33:23
don't disappoine them enough and don't give them the right guidance, say go sideways
33:30
like people dogs dogs need some structure. Sorry to derail a little bit more.
33:35
Were there any red flags that you saw earlier on that may have tipped
33:37
you off as to that type of person that she was? No, No,
33:42
she was. She was good at hiding it. Yeah, yeah,
33:45
I know. It was why she needed a car. You know. It
33:52
was really one of those things you ever hear, you know, you hear
33:53
people it's like, oh, we were dating and everything was wonderful, and
33:57
then we moved in together and it all changed. That was exactly like literally
34:01
the second night I moved in, I sat there wide awake at like three
34:05
am, just going, oh my god, what have I done? And
34:10
honestly, if COVID doesn't happen, the relationship probably ends much quicker. But
34:16
yeah, COVID happened and locked down, and especially she couldn't work, and
34:21
I felt responsible, so I stayed around and and I'm not saying it was
34:27
all bad like, but it definitely had its problems. So anyways, oh,
34:32
good gets better. Oh yeah, So this is the part of the
34:37
story where everything becomes you know, happy, peaches and cream roses and sunshine,
34:39
yeah, yeah, huh so, uh finally, you know, I
34:45
said I've had enough, especially after the dog thing, and I said I
34:49
want my car back. And I was still even nice about it. I
34:51
said, you know, get it back to back basically gave gave her about
34:54
thirty days. I said, I want the car back. You know,
34:58
if you're gonna go getting rid of the dog, that's not cool with me.
35:01
And uh so, anyways, so I finally real quick trade, just
35:07
so I have some frame of reference. When she was getting rid of the
35:10
dog? Was this an on again off again period? Was she still living
35:13
with you? No, we were not living together. Okay, all right,
35:16
so at this point everything is completely off. Um, we were still
35:23
in the on again, off again. Oh I know what that means.
35:27
So, uh, I don't know what that means, Dan, What does
35:29
that mean? Basically, basically, Trey was playing cole anoscopy. Oh you
35:38
bought one of these kids too, Trick, I got the digital one.
35:44
Um, but it made sense because it's Mercedes. It's a smaller vehicle,
35:49
right, you know. Um, No, we were you know, legitimately,
35:54
I kept thinking, oh, you know, maybe we can make it
35:58
work. And then I'd get in and they go no, there's no way.
36:01
But anyway, so finally, about a week ago, I get a
36:05
text saying, you know, my car came in so you can pick up
36:07
your your car. All right, great, So I uh get in an
36:16
uber and go over there to get my car and uh and you know,
36:23
I'll just say this, this is someone who really hasn't been able to pay
36:28
all of their bills for the better part of three years. M hm and
36:32
uh so I the uber actually drops me off in front of the house,
36:36
and so I walk around the corner into the alleyway, thinking I would just
36:42
you know, roll up there and get my car take off, and uh,
36:45
no, big deal. Yeah, And then I turned the corner.
36:49
I see so it's really beautiful pretty Porsche sitting in the uh the driveway and
36:55
uh so yeah. Yeah. So I either come to the conclusion that I
37:01
was getting completely used and she actually had money but just figured out that I
37:06
was a sucker or um or she got a sugar daddy, or they're just
37:14
you know, a bank dumb enough to lend enough money to someone to buy
37:16
a porch that she can't even pay her bills. I don't know which,
37:20
but you know, all at all, I uh you know, I think
37:22
you could take a big fist and put it on the end of that colon
37:25
oscopy and just that's how I felt. Just shove it up there and just
37:29
take a look. You wouldn't happen to know her credit score, would you?
37:34
Yeah, I know her credit score was really good. Really, uh
37:37
huh. Of course it was because she was she was missed a bill.
37:42
Yeah, she was doing business at the Bank of Tray. Okay, I
37:49
know this sounds like an unreasonable question, but I'm just trying to play Devil's
37:52
advocate here. M hmm. What kind of Porsche? Was it? A
37:58
cay In? Okay, I'm looking up the suv right, yeah, the
38:05
big one. By the way, have you guys seen those Lamborghini SUVs?
38:08
Yes? I can't stand them. I think they're hideous. To me,
38:12
I don't like any like high end performance sports car brand suv. It's like
38:19
it's like if I if I'm gonna buy a Porsche, I'm gonna buy a
38:21
Porch. If I'm gonna buy a Lamborghini, I want a Lamborghini that's an
38:23
inch off the ground. To me, Like there's there is a wide difference
38:28
between a portion of a Lamborghini, but uh, like one's a a very
38:34
high end luxury sports vehicle. The other one is a supercar. And uh
38:42
I just I saw Lamborghini SUV the other day and it just annoyed me because
38:45
it just looks so dumb and so unreasonably expensive. Okay, I found the
38:52
price on these Cayens. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna guess it was a
38:57
couple of years used. But okay, you think it was a base model?
39:00
You think she's type of girl gets base model? No, Alphie,
39:02
I don't. I guess at this point, Trey is Trey's helping us to
39:08
realize just how big that fist was that got shoved right up his You think
39:15
she's a platinum edition girl? Most definitely, it couldn't have been more than
39:24
seventy grand. That's not that bad, you get there are trucks that are
39:30
seventy grand, there are. That doesn't mean you can afford it, Hey,
39:37
Trey, um can I borrow a thousand dollars? Yeah? You know
39:45
what, Alphie, he told the wrong group of unemployed individuals about how he
39:49
now has an opening in his monthly budget. That's true, Tray Dan and
39:53
I got some ideas we're just gonna need to guess fives for it. Wait,
40:00
the billboard is just the tip of the iceberg, just the tip.
40:12
You're in Luke Treehouse with Dan O'Malley and Alfie Cord. You're in the treehouse
40:37
with Dan O'Malley and Alfie Coy. She did forget one person though. That
40:46
is the new readdition of Trey Trenholman to the Treehouse. We're all on the
40:53
radio together for a number of years. Tray left in twenty twelve to pursue
40:59
questionable and now he's back to tell us all the the That was a lifetime
41:05
pursuit. It was a charitable endeavor, Dan, He's out there doing good
41:08
work. Yeah, Trey, Trey is certainly a philanthropist. Do you think
41:13
you can you can think you could like tax deduct some of these, uh
41:16
these expenses, Trey, you can find a CPA that would help justify that
41:21
for you getting screwed over by a chick. I don't know that that's really
41:27
in the IRS code, Alphie. They don't consider it a charitable deduction,
41:31
you know. I really that would be smart. And I'll set her up
41:39
with a five, one, three and then just go from there. Yeah,
41:44
or you know, you just run for office and pay her out of
41:46
your campaign funds. That seems to be a thing for a long time.
41:53
Yes, it is all right. So obviously your chick Trey moved on from
42:00
your Mercedes to her new Porsche quite easy. Yes, and again, I
42:07
think we've all been there, Alphie, you've been there, Trey. I
42:10
know you've been there. I have been there as well, where the relationship
42:15
ends for whatever reason, and the chick moves on seemingly at you know,
42:22
in the blink of an eye. And it's amazing how quickly they can do
42:25
it, because usually, as men were sort of emotional wrecks, we're like,
42:29
oh my god, we're weepy, we're wallowy or pouty, we're just
42:34
no fun to be around for a while. Chicks, on the other hand,
42:37
they're immediately getting back out partying with their friends, and while it may
42:42
only be on the surface, they're at least doing things, getting out in
42:44
the world. There's always that one moment when you have a breakup, and
42:50
at the end of the day, guys may be tougher, but girls,
42:52
when it comes to matters of the heart, are meaner and tougher. And
42:55
yeah, they they will pull your heart out from your check, just like
43:00
that dude in Indiana Jones. And then they'll throw it on the ground and
43:04
stomp on it when their high heels as they go out on the town.
43:08
Yes, and it's and everyone, you know, you've seen all of a
43:14
sudden that look in their eyes changes, and it's like you went from the
43:16
love of their life to just a stranger. And uh, and especially in
43:23
my younger years, that would really eat me up and for months and months
43:27
and months on end. And then you get to the point, and this
43:30
is why dating as you get older, I mean, Dan, you're you're
43:34
lucky you don't have to deal with it, but dating becomes harder and harder
43:38
because you become more set in your ways. And you know, my litmus
43:43
test now for dating is, you know, is it worth it? Is
43:46
it more fun? You know, because ultimately I can come home watch some
43:51
porn and then you know, I can watch whatever I want on TV,
43:54
curl up with Daisy, and I'm good to go. That's it's wonderful.
43:58
And so you know, it's kind of the Daisy test. Are is it
44:01
worthwhile? And generally the answer is no, Yeah, And and and you
44:06
know. In case you're not aware, Daisy is a trade's very lovable chihuahua.
44:09
That's not what. It's not some weird name or weird relationship he has
44:13
with his computer that he watches his porn on. Thanks for that clarification,
44:17
Dan, I just want to make sure we're all on the same page.
44:21
Yeah. So, I also feel like women are able to learn this at
44:24
a very early age, and I have a great example of it for you.
44:30
So here Alpha, you got the audio. This is a high school
44:34
girl who found out that she just got cheated on, and now she's on
44:39
like a group chat or facetiming or something with her girlfriends who are really being
44:44
sweet. They're offering emotional support and everything, and you get to see you
44:52
get to see it, or in this case, you get to hear it
44:53
in real time. How this young girl goes from being some lot of an
45:00
emotional wreck into all of a sudden not giving a damn. Go ahead,
45:06
Alfred, you're so yeah, you know you're sun. He's not so much
45:09
to cry over. I'm to open wash you. No, don't do it
45:14
right now, because I just want to feel all the paint one. It's
45:17
like you're gonna what. So, what she's doing is she's going to open
45:23
up her college admissions portal to Washington University. Oh, open wash you.
45:29
I was like, yeah, she wants to, As she said, she
45:32
wants to feel all the pain at once and just get it over with his
45:36
rip off the band aid. So if you would just start that over,
45:37
okay, I know you're so yeah, we know your son. He's not
45:44
so much to cry over. I'm gonna open wash you. No, I
45:47
don't do it right now because I know I just want to feel all the
45:51
paint one. It's like, no, we're not opening that decision right now,
45:54
You're not. Oh my god, Oh my god. Yeah, I
45:59
think about all the the the Washington love interest she might have. Nobody cares
46:04
about that guy anymore. That guy is now completely gone out of her memory.
46:09
She's now purely thinking of the future and all the cranks in it.
46:14
Honestly, I got no problem with this. I have absolutely zero problem with
46:19
this. And I've learned after getting you know, like you guys said the
46:23
four inch heel stabbed through your heart kind of thing, I've learned that that
46:30
stupid bumper sticker phrase of the best way to get over somebody is to get
46:35
underneath somebody else. And there's a little bit of truth to it. Every
46:40
time you're kind of sitting there, you know, all forlorn over some love
46:45
interest that that isn't working out the way you want it to. I've noticed
46:52
that the second I find something else or something better, it's like, who
46:59
the F was I even worried about? You know, I don't know why
47:02
you were looking for that colonoscopy thing. Again, It's got multiple uses,
47:07
Trey, and don't go don't go cry to me when you need a colonoscopy
47:12
and they're all booked up. I'm just wondering, though, Alfie, when
47:17
you see something prophetic that's on a bumper sticker on the back of a truck,
47:23
does it Does it change the meaning for you at all? If the
47:27
truck also has truck nuts, It's called wisdom sack Dan, and thank you
47:35
very much. Follow all things Treehouse at Treehouse on Air, for me at
47:46
the Dan O'Malley, and for Alfie at Alfie Koi. And don't forget to
47:50
light follow a subscribe auto download and tell a friend the Treehouse is back.