Latest / Jess Ask / Living a Life of Abundance: The Art of Contentment | Featuring Byanca Miller | S3E5

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Living a Life of Abundance: The Art of Contentment | Featuring Byanca Miller | S3E5 · Jess Ask

• 0:06
  Hey, it's your girl, jess You've just entered a safe space for Kingdom
• 0:11
  entrepreneurs and creatives to decompress, have fun, and yeah, you've guessed it
• 0:17
  a safe place to just ask. Before we get into it, be sure
• 0:21
  to subscribe and download the podcast, follow me on all platforms at the Jessica
• 0:28
  S. Smith and invital friend. Also make sure you DM me your feedback
• 0:35
  and questions so we can keep the conversation going. Now, let's get into
• 0:41
  this week's episode. Yo, what's up? What's up? What are we
• 0:48
  back for another session of the Round? Another? You know one, two,
• 0:53
  three, five, six, seven eight in my bank account? You
• 0:56
  feel me? Listen, I've been in delirae. You've been enjoying it.
• 1:00
  Season. Man, it's been good. It's been. It's been unique.
• 1:03
  It's been it's been five your thigh, your five to the year. Okay,
• 1:07
  I just want to say first before you get into it, is I'm
• 1:10
  proud of you, Jessica. Don't do that. I'm just saying for like
• 1:14
  like going like you could stop. But you could have told me no.
• 1:18
  You could have very well said no. And you know what I'm saying,
• 1:21
  But you didn't. What glory to God? You didn't because you trust what
• 1:25
  God got even though you don't in your mind think you trust what it is,
• 1:29
  but you trust something that's going on. So I'm I'm proud of you.
• 1:32
  Thank you, Thank you, get you get you a purpose partner that's
• 1:36
  gonna pour it list because the woman of God, like really, I gotta
• 1:41
  I gotta give it back to you though, because because of you, like
• 1:45
  your obedience, and I know it's probably nerve wrecking y'all. I'm not a
• 1:48
  difficult person to deal with, but sometimes I can be like I'm so firm
• 1:52
  sometimes what my mind sometimes, but she came to me, and when she
• 1:57
  came to me, it was like lit. But before we get all emotional
• 2:00
  or whatever, listen, if you don't know where you are, you just
• 2:04
  landed in the space a safe space for Kingdom entrepreneurs and creatives to decompress,
• 2:10
  learn and have fun. Y'all. I am Jessica S. Smith and I
• 2:15
  know y'all look like when y'all gonna acknowledge? When are you going to acknowledge
• 2:19
  the woman to your left my right? Listen, y'all don't understand who this
• 2:23
  is. I know you not ready. I'm probably not ready. I'm hold
• 2:27
  on to my seat. I should have we should have put Sea, we
• 2:30
  should have put Desiree. They're not ready. B uncle, list Miller,
• 2:38
  y'all give around? Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, Bonca, I'm an
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  listen. I don't know if I can do justice of your introduction. So
• 2:52
  I'm going to allow you to introduce yourself to the community. Reintroduce yourself to
• 2:59
  your community. And we're finn talk, baby, We're fa talk. That's
• 3:01
  who we're gonna do now, is talk, because that's what I can do.
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  I really don't have no special introduction. My name is Bianca. I
• 3:10
  am I just love God man. I love him and I'm submitted to him.
• 3:16
  I'm committed to him. I'm on a journey with him, and yeah,
• 3:21
  I'm ready to I want to do whatever he wants me to do however
• 3:24
  he wants me to do it, and I'm just excited to be here.
• 3:28
  First of all, okay, pauls, let's just put a pausing in this
• 3:31
  moment. Okay, Jessica, First of all, jes Okay, I mean
• 3:37
  we haven't known each other long literally litter. I mean, we're just gonna
• 3:44
  be honest. I mean, we're gonna be saved. We're gonna be honest,
• 3:46
  a small amount of time but very big. Has been so impactful.
• 3:50
  I've been watching a podcast. I think it's super dope. She's very encouraging.
• 3:54
  I mean, I just love her and I don't know upbreak Jessica Day.
• 4:00
  Yes, get to your feet, sat, stand to your feet,
• 4:06
  all right, listen, and she's amazing. I'm excited to be here.
• 4:10
  I'm grateful that you invited me, Like I don't. This ain't normal for
• 4:14
  me. I don't be on podcasts and conversations. So I'm grateful listen.
• 4:20
  And that's part of the word because Banca like you it sis like like like
• 4:26
  Beanca said, like I haven't known her but for two seconds. But the
• 4:31
  thing about kingdom relationship and kingdom gatherings, you can point them out like it's
• 4:38
  just something about certain people that get you interested even more about what God is
• 4:47
  doing. And so you, Bianca, you have that it You have that
• 4:57
  because we can shout up to the church, shout out eighteen hundred John Rogers
• 5:05
  drive, get way and Birmingham it ain't been by that. You got to
• 5:13
  come by, got to come because your your service, Beyod, you need
• 5:15
  some more because some most of y'all are supposed to be serving or normally service
• 5:19
  is certain. If you don't go to church, you need somebody somewhere you
• 5:23
  can just go and just you know, it's a shameless plugs shameless listen,
• 5:28
  listen because we like, we likes the PG and the PC powerful, humble.
• 5:33
  Look girl, I literally told PG this morning, I said, it
• 5:39
  starts with the head, it does. It starts with the head. And
• 5:43
  the thing about our pastor is that what they embody and their expectations and their
• 5:49
  standard for themselves has set the standard for the church. So even even last
• 5:57
  week when we were talking about me and house on the floor, Yeah,
• 6:00
  we're not gonna get into the store, but I was gonna flow. Okay.
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  So for people that people that don't understand, because I understand Christian communities
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  are a little different, look a little different, nobody like that. But
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  in our community what we believe. You know, sometimes it gets a little
• 6:24
  ugly to get a little good okay, And it got a little ugly for
• 6:28
  me and I ended up on the floor crying well and good, good,
• 6:32
  good, good good. After that moment, the response of the people,
• 6:39
  not my pastors, the response of the people were to cover me. Wow,
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  how about that that happens because we have good pastors. That's right.
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  If you don't have good pastors that produce an atmosphere and set a tone and
• 6:55
  an expectations that we cover each other. It don't take me, It don't
• 6:59
  take him, It takes you. We like that's the expectation. But they
• 7:03
  don't have to have a tone like, oh, this is what we're gonna
• 7:05
  do now. They already imbuy it, don't You don't have to explain it.
• 7:10
  You don't even really have to teach it. In reality, you just
• 7:14
  be it sometime. If we could just be sometime, If we could just
• 7:17
  be, I learned that the hard way. But if you could just be
• 7:20
  the fruit, the fruit, the fruit will be, will will produce itself.
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  Sometimes I think leaders have the heart to do stuff, but they are
• 7:31
  tainted by the decisions of the community. They want to please. One thing
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  about PG and PC don't care nothing about it. They said, what we
• 7:41
  didn't do is comes from Tennessee to play with y'all because I'm not here for
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  you. I'm not here on my own accort. Sometimes she just said that
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  last week I didn't even want to be here. Pull up, were trying
• 7:55
  to pull up on the U said she was trying to she was trying to
• 8:01
  get them the back of the bus Greyhound American. Ready. I could be
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  ready at you forty five. Y'all want to be here at that time.
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  Listen, shout out to our family, our pasts, Christ Geno Poster,
• 8:20
  Kareem Gardner, We love you guys. So we can't listen, y'all unashamed.
• 8:26
  I don't care if y'all. If y'all stopped by, now that's y'all
• 8:28
  meet. If y'all stopped listening by, now that's y'all mess listen, but
• 8:31
  girl, back back to you woman. Guys. So I just even in
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  Kingdom conversations or king atmospheres, one of the things that I've learned, and
• 8:39
  even with Desiree, like I met Desiree, we met a push nation,
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  and I mean I knew who she was. I mean she took our head
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  shots. Coach gifted us one year with head shots, and I knew who
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  she was. I helped her to the car that day, and I remember,
• 8:56
  I remember that moment. It's interesting it's at moments I remember, but
• 9:01
  that was a moment that I just helped her to the car and we were
• 9:03
  carrying her tools. The tools y'all, y'all, Forna get free right now,
• 9:07
  the tools that she would soon use for just a Jesus, how about
• 9:11
  them? How about like that? That blows my mind? Head. So
• 9:16
  when kingdom connections happen, time is not a factor. Yeah, I'm gonna
• 9:22
  say that again. Wow, When kingdom connections happen, time is not a
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  factor. So listen, that's so good. Listen. And then you help
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  the person who was a vendor in a sense, like she came to service
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  you all. And typically, you know, somebody come service you, you
• 9:41
  don't assist them to their car. But that was that was a moment that
• 9:45
  needed to happen. They had to. They had to because it was an
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  introduction to what we know. What else is so incredible? So of course
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  I seen you at church before I before I joined, or yeah, before
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  I praise God, before I joined. And then I seen you again in
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  Atlanta, you did? I seen you at wy Do. I always miss
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  a name, Juck k Lynn, that's the woman of God. I was
• 10:15
  like Jaquelin or Kaylen what I don't know? What else is it? What
• 10:18
  it is Jacquelin Carr. We mess up names, you know, But I
• 10:24
  seen you there, and this is this is beautiful, right because sometimes the
• 10:28
  Saints be be doing stuff and you know, I gotta find a nice way
• 10:31
  to say things. So we was in the restroom and you were with your
• 10:33
  coach, and you really could have just been like, oh, you know,
• 10:37
  I don't really know her like that, because I don't think we had
• 10:39
  a conversation. Didn't know. And I just saw you at church and I
• 10:45
  was at that time, I was I would come to service and I was
• 10:46
  out one no one, no Liley, gag in and out. And so
• 10:50
  you saw me in the restroom and introduced me like she knew me. She
• 10:54
  introduced me to her coach like she really knew me, and I was like,
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  wow, how about it. Yeah, it was like shit, go
• 11:00
  to my church. And it was like you was really excited. And you
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  know, for me, because of just my past with confidence and all of
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  that kind of stuff. In my head this is said, oh, I'm
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  sorry, this is sad. In my head, people automatically don't like me
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  at first. Wow, automatically don't don't receive me at first, you know,
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  because I've been dalp there with bullying and just all of that kind of
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  stuff. So in my head, I need to show you who I am
• 11:28
  before you can love me or like me. And the fact that and I
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  told somebody is I was like everybody in my head, don't like. We
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  had a conversation with PC and PG and our very first zoom conversation because I
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  passed one on one. But that's need to hear there. Just drop that
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  we did a one on one and they was just saying all the stuff that
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  they saw in me from a distance. Now mind you, when I came
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  there, I was in the I was in the season, and girl in
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  a in a were just gonna leave it there period. Don't ask her about
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  to see Maybe maybe that time when I'm ready to talk about it. But
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  but yeah, we were. We were they say all this stuff they saw
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  in me and the season where I felt like I didn't have all that they
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  said, you know, and I'm just like, God, really, you
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  allow people to see the see you even without saying anything. I don't even
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  I never had to say anything to you. And just that conversation in the
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  bathroom, I was like, Wow, God, okay, okay, I
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  people like me, people see me, you know, people hear you,
• 12:41
  and that was amazing. I don't think I ever shared that with you by
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  not tell it to a friend of mins, Like when I told her about
• 12:46
  want to tell my best friend about the podcast, I was like, I
• 12:50
  just assumed she didn't even know me, or you thought I was like,
• 12:52
  And then she introduced me in the bathroom and then we talked a couple of
• 12:54
  times in I'm on podcast. And the way you ripped let me just say
• 12:58
  this real quick, the way you ripped that Inson at that conference, Oh
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  lord my god. I said, oh wow, Yeah, she's a she's
• 13:07
  a serious matter. And so it's just been amazing when you connected to people
• 13:11
  who are just amazing. It's serious about God and love them and yeah,
• 13:16
  So it's interest in what you're saying because I can relate to what you're saying
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  so much so that the power and understanding that everybody is not equipped to receive
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  you the way the world receives each other. And so I'm coming into understanding
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  that. So I'm gonna say this about you. I don't even remember the
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  bathroom situation. Wow, that's that's interesting. I don't even remember that.
• 13:50
  But I do remember seeing you and getting and actually being excited to see you
• 13:58
  because I've come from a place where no one was excited to see me,
• 14:09
  No one was excited to see me. My sister and I actually had a
• 14:13
  conversation not too long ago about about how our childhood it had some painful moments
• 14:26
  for the simple fact on my end, she was the one that was liked
• 14:31
  by our peers. I was liked to buy leadership, but leadership like me
• 14:37
  because that was literally a prophetic act of understanding that I would be in leadership
• 14:43
  and I would have close proximity to my leadership. And so looking up hindsight,
• 14:50
  yeah that was easy. But as a child, as an adolescent,
• 14:54
  that wasn't. That wasn't the and all be all. That wasn't understanding.
• 14:58
  And so we dealt something with even things that I have to catch now with
• 15:01
  my self esteem, with my security, and so your embraced of I might
• 15:05
  not even know your name, but I know that you family. You give
• 15:07
  what I'm saying, Like I don't understand. I don't understand. So me
• 15:11
  even being at this church, like it's so different, I've never I talked
• 15:13
  to. There's a rail about all the time. I don't know if I
• 15:18
  really knew or understand understand how to be pastor or what pastors do because for
• 15:24
  one, I'm a pKa myself, so you always got that sight of understanding
• 15:30
  and looking at well, are you pastoring or are you daddy in right now?
• 15:35
  Like I don't understand, and it's starting to merge, and you're confusing
• 15:37
  me and you me being frustrated with you is making me frustrated with God.
• 15:41
  Like y'all both y'all get on my nerves right now. But I did that
• 15:46
  for so long, and then the pastors that I've had, I will just
• 15:50
  keep it generalized and say I didn't have that prosimity or that relationship, and
• 15:56
  they didn't have the understanding of who I am and probably where I'm going.
• 16:03
  The mantle to carry a weight like me, you have to say, I
• 16:07
  have to say that bowler, it's different. Soec, I'm starting to understand
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  that people can only manage what they can manage. The capacity level is different.
• 16:22
  And so what we do and what the enemy does is he tries to
• 16:25
  make us internalize something as an inadequate thing when it's really it is what it
• 16:32
  is. It's like literally Season two is all about it is what it is.
• 16:36
  Sometimes us we as believers have to learn her to accept it is what
• 16:41
  it is, it ain't what it ain't, and it's gonna be what it's
• 16:44
  gonna be. I got a friend that says that, and I used to
• 16:47
  get so frustrated when I heard that, but then I start settling and then
• 16:51
  like, you know, it is what it is, it's not what it's
• 16:53
  not, and it's gonna be what it's gonna be. Like I can't make
• 16:57
  you have the oil or the capacity for me, and what you don't understand
• 17:06
  is not my problem. Yeah, yeah, and knowing that being okay with
• 17:11
  and I really hope that leaders get to this point. I was talking to
• 17:14
  a friend of mine, he's my classmate who has a church, and he
• 17:18
  was he said something and is very well he said something to this point.
• 17:22
  But pastors and leaders being okay when knowing that this person has graduated from what
• 17:27
  I can handle and being okay with that that it's not a place of like
• 17:32
  you're not good enough or I don't I'm bad, because I think that's a
• 17:36
  way for God to keep it all about him. That's so good. If
• 17:40
  I if I less you, if I make you feel like you can do
• 17:44
  everything for this person, then what do they need what I need them to
• 17:49
  now? Be able to say I trust God enough to know that it's time
• 17:52
  for me to shift because God has something else for me. And I think
• 17:56
  if pastors and I don't feel bad because when you talk about pastors, you
• 18:00
  talking about a shepherd's heart. So for them it's about this is my child,
• 18:04
  you know, and that and that's what parents go through. And so
• 18:07
  I don't think it's not a judgment statement, but I think it's a freeing
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  statement if leaders get to the point and be like, hey, I that's
• 18:15
  it, and I love you and I support you, and where you're going.
• 18:21
  I push where you're going. I'm my previous pastor to don't now,
• 18:26
  don't don't don't think I'm just hot church hopping around here, okay, because
• 18:30
  but two churches before where I'm at now that that partical pastor I left,
• 18:37
  And come to find out, once I left, he had reached out to
• 18:40
  my my then pastor and had a conversation about me, girl, you know,
• 18:45
  and share with him, share with him who I was, and and
• 18:51
  and and and sent me with blessings, Yes, sent me with blessings.
• 18:55
  And I just I was like, first of all, I didn't know when
• 18:56
  he told me. I was like really you did. He was like I
• 19:00
  told him, you know, and and sent me with love. And I'm
• 19:03
  still very much connected to him today. You know, love him the pieces,
• 19:06
  honor him. I mean, it is what it is, and and
• 19:11
  I love him. There's nothing that that church lax. It just wasn't.
• 19:15
  At that point, Bianca was for what she needed next, and I was
• 19:18
  kind of sharing with Desbray before we came up, before we started about some
• 19:22
  stuff I had been uttering to God, not even really understanding what I was
• 19:27
  uttering to him what I was. It was just like it just started kind
• 19:30
  of coming out of me, and before I knew it, I was in
• 19:33
  a house that was responding to that. Just that mere conversation. It wasn't
• 19:38
  nothing deep, It wasn't nothing. I don't know, I really didn't.
• 19:41
  It wasn't nothing extra, you know. I just was like, where are
• 19:45
  these where are these things? You know? Where's the supernatural? Where is
• 19:48
  speaking in tongues? Where is the prophetic? Because I was born Pentecostal,
• 19:52
  but I warned pingecost and spent a lot of time non denominational. So at
• 19:56
  a point there came a point in me was like I kind of need what
• 20:02
  I was what I was what was putting me as a child, and I
• 20:04
  just I didn't know that. I didn't really have comprehension for it until later
• 20:07
  on in life when it happened. So God just knew, He knew it
• 20:11
  was all just kind of aligning in itself, and God moved me. So
• 20:15
  I just I think leaders should be okay with that and love people. Don't
• 20:18
  don't make them feel bad for your church and shifting when God is calling them
• 20:23
  something, because that's what we can do, like we can get so caught
• 20:26
  up in our flesh, and they didn't take it personal. Let me just
• 20:29
  say this, everybody's not a five hundred fifty thousand, forty thousand trust membership.
• 20:36
  Take your tea and run with you and go, like, settle in
• 20:38
  the teen that you got, now, settle in a faithful few that you
• 20:41
  got. Now managed that now? Like, and what why are we on
• 20:45
  your You're not you aren't called to be a mega church? Yeah, yeah,
• 20:51
  I'm sorry. You are not called to be a mega church. Yeah,
• 20:53
  and be okay with that and be okay with that. And I think
• 20:56
  there there are leaders and I think this is why it's so important. When
• 21:02
  we were talking about earlier off off rip that leadership with no healing, it's
• 21:08
  slavery. That is good leadership with no healing, it's becomes slavery. And
• 21:18
  so now it's like, I'm your master type. I can't let you go
• 21:22
  because I still need you in the field. That's good. And so what
• 21:27
  the reality is they don't belong to you, know from you? I don't
• 21:30
  even belong to my parents. And I came from there? How about that?
• 21:34
  Like? Literally? Literally that was Abraham? Right? Was it Abraham
• 21:41
  who took their son to the Now I know y'all know the word of God
• 21:47
  because we ain't gonna cut it out. I think it was. I think
• 21:52
  it was Abraham about the sacrifice, because it wasn't it was a Ram in
• 22:02
  the bush. We always like Abraham Abram both named coming, but even he
• 22:07
  realizing understood that Isaac's Isaac did not belong to him? Right? He was
• 22:15
  it Hannah that said, Lord, if you give me a son? And
• 22:19
  that right? So literally she had to give up her first child and she
• 22:26
  was blessed with more, but still had to take care of a child that
• 22:29
  she didn't get to see. That she didn't get to see it like that,
• 22:32
  I don't when I said when the lawyer as you don't belong man,
• 22:36
  belong to this world. It means everything everything. Watch just my parents even
• 22:41
  have an assignment just to minimal birth me. So even when I understand,
• 22:45
  even if we were adopted, and I understand that they completed the assignment,
• 22:49
  the assignment, it's not I'm gonna be raised regardless. Listen, girl,
• 22:55
  let me tell you something. I love. I am a I believe in
• 22:59
  that, I really do. But sometimes what concerns me is the way that
• 23:03
  we we help people walk through things, especially those that are believers. Because
• 23:08
  I understand, especially when you talk about in licensing and all that you do
• 23:12
  have to be careful with things. But I wish that we we did therapy
• 23:17
  in the hole, in the totality kind of way, because it's or and
• 23:21
  just dealing with the whole, the whole story, because in reality that that
• 23:25
  is really all your parents were here for. Moses was given to a whole.
• 23:30
  Listen, So I don't I think that when you and I think it
• 23:33
  will help us deal with rejection better, it will help us understand abandonment better
• 23:38
  if we start understanding what really your parents' purpose in reality was to bring you
• 23:44
  to and not abort you, and then understanding that whatever however your life played
• 23:52
  out, all things work together. So understanding that if this was my even
• 23:56
  dealing with my my, my, my journey with my father and all of
• 24:00
  all of that, one of the things that helped me to heal was understanding
• 24:03
  that, no, this was my journey. He was just a part of
• 24:08
  it. He was a part of the story. If God really want I
• 24:11
  always feel like if God really wanted to it to not happen, he could
• 24:15
  have, he could have intercepted. So let me let me let me stop
• 24:18
  you right there. Okay, woman, the guy, I'm gonna stretch you.
• 24:21
  Okay, stretch me. Okay, if you don't want this, just
• 24:25
  say no. But you're telling me knowing from the folk. Okay, so
• 24:29
  you you brushed, you brushed by your father. Okay, give us more
• 24:33
  details of what that looks like. Because freedom comes into testimony. Yeah,
• 24:37
  yeah, yeah, I'm definitely free. Indeed, pray Scott. I can
• 24:41
  tell you the story and and and it's it's really not that complicated. So
• 24:45
  of course we're from I'm from New Jersey. Yeah, I'm from New Jersey.
• 24:48
  And when we were when I was eleven around that time, a lot
• 24:53
  of my family was relocating. We were going from New Jersey. Uh,
• 24:56
  most of us was trying to go to Virginia, and so of course cost
• 25:00
  the living whatever, So that's where we're going. And my dad he liked
• 25:04
  Alabama. We hated it here, Pray Scott and we hated here, but
• 25:11
  we because me and my sister would come here in the summertime, so it
• 25:14
  wasn't completely foreign to us, but we would come in the summertime. That
• 25:17
  whole narrative coming to spend time with your grandmother. So that's what we did.
• 25:19
  And so yeah, she had us for the summertime. And so he
• 25:26
  LoVa man, I mean a giant, but anyway, we need to hear
• 25:30
  her there. So he wanted to come to Alabama, and we were not
• 25:33
  wanting to come, Me and my mom, my sister, we didn't want
• 25:37
  to come. And so of course I don't know all the technicalities behind him
• 25:41
  and my mom's relationship per se, but I can only speak from my experience,
• 25:47
  you know. So we're getting in the car packing up to head down.
• 25:52
  But let me back up. The plan was this is where the where
• 25:55
  the rejection piece comes in. The plan was he was coming here with us,
• 26:00
  but he was coming later, or he was going to be traveling back
• 26:03
  and forth, because I had an uncle that was doing that when my family
• 26:04
  moved to Virginia. He was traveling back and forth from New Jersey to Virginia.
• 26:08
  And my dad had us to believe he was gonna be doing the same
• 26:11
  thing, coming from Alabama to New Jersey, back and forth, because he
• 26:15
  didn't want to leave his job yet. So we get here and I just
• 26:21
  remember riding being just so angry and so frustrated and mad, you know,
• 26:27
  And what was weird? Even though I had in my mind he was coming.
• 26:30
  I don't still don't understand why I was so angry. I think it's
• 26:33
  just because I didn't like it here. Ultimately, when we got here,
• 26:36
  he told us he didn't want the marriage anymore and he didn't want to be
• 26:38
  one mom anymore. Yeah, and so that was a that's where trauma started.
• 26:44
  I didn't know. I didn't really know. That's where trauma started,
• 26:48
  being in a place that I didn't I like. And so, you know,
• 26:51
  wrote we rolled it out. We did what we did. And so
• 26:53
  when I was going through my healing journey intentionally back in twenty eighteen, intentional,
• 27:00
  that's a whole word. Yeah, intentionally making the steps to heal,
• 27:03
  cause I wanted that. And so when I went on that journey. I
• 27:07
  remember one time I was praying and I remember the Lord saying, tell your
• 27:11
  mom that she wanted to take y'all back. She questioned, should she take
• 27:18
  y'all? Just take y'all back home? And she said, he said no,
• 27:22
  this was a part of your journey. And I remember calling her Never.
• 27:26
  I never thought about that in all of my years we came here on
• 27:29
  one. I never considered, well, why my mom won't just take her
• 27:32
  back, take us back? Never? And when I said that to her,
• 27:34
  she said, you don't know how accurate that is. She said,
• 27:37
  I have called your aunts and just different ones like should I just come back?
• 27:41
  Should I just come back? It it just got a little the situation
• 27:44
  had got a little messy. But ultimately it was a part of my journey.
• 27:48
  It was what I had to do. I I mean, yeah,
• 27:52
  it's just a part of the story and it was just it and it helped
• 27:55
  me. It helped me with my relationship with God. It helped me say
• 27:57
  that my dad did what he was supposed to do as a natural father.
• 28:03
  But ultimately my I'm supposed to be relying on you, you know, and
• 28:06
  I know parents who had who raised their children in a way where they give
• 28:10
  them to God. Like I watched certain things like in my head Jaquelin Carr,
• 28:15
  I feel like her parents literally literally be like was like, no,
• 28:18
  this is Gods child and we're gonna on maneuver her that way. I mean,
• 28:22
  there's no way she could have went through to regular school and and and
• 28:26
  having to be, you know, really giving back to God. So I'm
• 28:30
  learning that, I'm learning that we're we're y'all don't belive nobody belongs to nobody.
• 28:34
  Listen. Yeah, first of all, I want to say thank you
• 28:36
  for sharing that, like it's so beautiful, but we get to learn here
• 28:41
  just saying it's the podcast. Wow, if you haven't hit this, subscribe
• 28:45
  butding or like wouldn't coming, I don't know why you haven't by now because
• 28:48
  this is good listen. So my my interest is I know where you I
• 28:52
  have an idea. Let me not say I know I have an ideal where
• 28:56
  you are with God right now? But what what when you did and understanding
• 29:00
  you didn't have that understanding of Father. I do understand that because of the
• 29:04
  natural and because we have flesh and it's more tangible than understanding the spirit.
• 29:08
  How did that affect the relationship with your father and your viewing or your father
• 29:14
  for him making that decision, How did it affect your relationship with God at
• 29:18
  that time? Majorly, there was no there was no real trust in God,
• 29:22
  like because I was raised in church, I knew him, but there
• 29:26
  was no relationship with him, and feeling like you you abandoned you, like
• 29:33
  you let this happen. You know, we hate this place. Not only
• 29:36
  do we not only do we hate it, but we experienced life here.
• 29:40
  There was things I probably and that's why I said, I think it's all
• 29:42
  a part of the journey. There was things I would probably never tapped into
• 29:47
  had I still been at home in my church family, you know, around
• 29:51
  my church, my natural my real blood family that was church. You know,
• 29:56
  I'm saved. My grandmother was the copastor of the church. My dad's
• 30:00
  mom was the copaccor the church that I was raised, and my dad was
• 30:03
  a minister. My mom like we just that's where I played time out.
• 30:07
  Pause. You just said a key thing. Hold up, it's like gonna
• 30:11
  play. You said your dad was a minister. So let's let's talk about
• 30:14
  that. Okay. So your dad as a minister has rejected you. Yeah
• 30:22
  yeah, yeah, how about that, and has not rejected you, but
• 30:26
  rejected his family and said this is not what I want to do anymore.
• 30:30
  And so in my mind you hear her. Look now, it's one thing
• 30:34
  that you know if it was like, okay, God is telling me the
• 30:37
  shift, A God is telling it. A God is saying that. But
• 30:38
  I ain't heard you say it got at all. So minister, your first
• 30:44
  ministry is then this ain't dog and daddy out. You know what I'm saying.
• 30:47
  This is really dissecting the moment, And it's like, dad, minister,
• 30:56
  what is supposed to happen and what I like supposed to look like?
• 31:00
  You just do this to your first ministry, Like if you really try to
• 31:06
  dissect that and understand me, sure this is this is probably some unused language
• 31:11
  that you are unconsciously digesting as a child, like you a whole child.
• 31:19
  And I've never well, I'm gonna say this, likely the rejection that I've
• 31:29
  experienced for my father has not been exited my life. It's been being repositioned
• 31:34
  on where I was supposed to be anyway. But that's all. That's another
• 31:37
  podcast from child. That's a that's another podcast. I won't have my daddy
• 31:41
  on, y'all. He don't know that yet, but but I think it's
• 31:45
  so interesting in what you're saying because even how that that that adds another layer
• 31:52
  to not only this is my dad leaving, but this is a man that
• 31:56
  is identified as a minister of the kingdom, Like God, how do we
• 32:00
  set that up? So let's let's let's let's let's bring it back for it.
• 32:04
  So now you deliver, now you free, now you heal, and
• 32:07
  now you hold. So there's a word that like just kept coming up during
• 32:14
  this week while I was thinking about our time together, and it's the word
• 32:17
  content, my God, when I see you and to understanding I have of
• 32:22
  you, it seems like, let's let's start with this, y'all. Y'all
• 32:28
  might not know what this is, but she's an innecessor like for my church,
• 32:32
  she's the she's the leader of the innocessors. And if you don't know
• 32:38
  really understand what that is. What it is is that you hear the word
• 32:43
  prayer, right, so you can pray. There's one thing like pray.
• 32:46
  You can pray the Lord's prayer, our Father with y'all. But it's another
• 32:52
  thing. Like the word intercede is really to become in a gap, to
• 32:57
  to come to get to fill, to like get in between. Right,
• 33:01
  So literally intercessors get in between what the spirit is saying to deliver it to
• 33:07
  what is happening here in the atmosphere. Their atmosphere changers they like they say
• 33:13
  atmospheres, they change atmospheres like they go into another level of prayer. And
• 33:17
  so this young lady, be young Jesus my God, the truth. Listen.
• 33:23
  It ain't nothing like when I say it's slippery, call me the migos,
• 33:28
  okay, because it's slippery. Okay, it's all it okay. And
• 33:34
  so let's can we When you think about that word in your life and how
• 33:37
  it's attached to your life, what does that mean? What that look like
• 33:42
  like? Because that's the word that I have for you. I kept thinking
• 33:45
  about you when I that contentment. Yeah ah man, shoot when you said
• 33:51
  when you text it to me, I was like, whoa story of my
• 33:52
  life? Contentment for me is something I is a journey because I wasn't always
• 33:59
  you know, I didn't know how to be content and my mom would often
• 34:02
  say. She would quote the scripture and as Paul said, I learned to
• 34:07
  be content in all things. That's what she uh said to me, and
• 34:12
  I was reading over it today. It's a Philippians. But I want to
• 34:14
  go back to when you're talking about intercession in prayer. I didn't know ultimately
• 34:21
  what I was gonna do specifically in life. I didn't know I had I'm
• 34:24
  a contentment. I am a I was a starter and a stopper. And
• 34:30
  I'm saying I was because I'm I'm declaring something different. I was a starter
• 34:34
  and a stopper. I was do this it ain't working. I'm gonna do
• 34:37
  that. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do I mean, I done
• 34:37
  tried everything. I was gonna be a I was gonna run it. I
• 34:40
  was gonna on the daycare. I was gonna do a planning company. I
• 34:45
  mean all of that because I didn't know how to just be okay with where
• 34:49
  I was in that part of the journey. So going back to prayer a
• 34:52
  little bit. A part of my story is my my mom could not have
• 34:54
  children. What she couldn't Yeah, she could not have children. And I
• 35:00
  love I love my I love how I came here, I don't. I
• 35:04
  did not get it till I got older, trying to find myself when I
• 35:07
  learned identity. God really revealed this to me. And this was before I
• 35:13
  was intentional about healing. But anyway, backing up, she could not have
• 35:15
  kids, and because we went to a Pentecostal church, they prayed for over
• 35:22
  that womb. They prayed, They prayed, they prayed, I mean fasting
• 35:25
  praying. The mother's boy prayed. My grandmother, both of my grandmothers prayed.
• 35:31
  One was one one of my grandmother's or my dad. My dad's mama
• 35:36
  was the co pastor at the time, and then my grandmother on my mom's
• 35:38
  side was just She didn't have a title, but she was power. She
• 35:44
  was power. But let's need it appreached baby because she didn't care. A
• 35:47
  matter of fact, let me just say that she was a servant. That
• 35:51
  part she was a servant. She is the reason why I don't care what
• 35:53
  your pastor do. It don't move me. She taught us that that passage
• 36:00
  a man first, he's a human first, and so she put that in
• 36:02
  me. So she had to plug. And that's my girl. Loved the
• 36:06
  pieces anyway, Russell soul. But they prayed me here. They prayed me
• 36:09
  here. Prayer now, and that's what God show. He told me,
• 36:15
  prayers what got you here. Prayers is gonna be what keep you here.
• 36:16
  I didn't know that. I didn't really understand that. And I asked my
• 36:21
  mom, you know, questions about my journey when I was a child,
• 36:23
  in different things and so so many different things, and so back till to
• 36:29
  your point about prayer. I understand it now and as to who I am
• 36:35
  and what I'm supposed to do. But initially I did not know what I
• 36:38
  was doing. I was trying everything, trying to figure out everything. And
• 36:43
  I think it became from that moment when I decided to just heal and hear
• 36:49
  and hear God and see and allow him to deal with me. My my
• 36:52
  true identity started coming, you know, to the top, and so understanding
• 36:57
  how God has aught. Even when you talked about my dad, my dad's
• 37:01
  situation, I don't really know the minister piece. I never considered that.
• 37:07
  I never thought about that. I don't really know how much of it was
• 37:09
  I that I thought about God. I just was just going, just trying
• 37:15
  to survive, trying to fill a void, trying to be better, just
• 37:19
  trying to live, trying to get it. And I think for a long
• 37:22
  time I've been in survival mode, not just in money, but in life,
• 37:25
  in just trying to survive, like kill, kill, a place I'm
• 37:30
  feeling, you know, I'm feeling this, I'm feeling that, and just
• 37:34
  trying to ease that pain. You know. Thank God I didn't struggle with
• 37:37
  addiction, because in reality, I was addicted to just trying to number pain
• 37:40
  that I did not know existed. Girl. So that came through relationships,
• 37:45
  men, business, career, just everything, just trying to feel something and
• 37:52
  that safety piece with God. Finding that place with him is what helped me
• 37:55
  with being content. You. I hope I answered the question the girl.
• 38:01
  Okay, b B, listen, you just said a mouth fool Jesus.
• 38:12
  That's right. Before I go in. You found the description. Go ahead
• 38:15
  read and you gotta read what power. Okay. So we're in Philippians four,
• 38:23
  okay, and that particular verse is eleven, but I'm gonna read up
• 38:30
  just to tinks you got to you got you. You gotta really start at
• 38:32
  full you really gotta start God. We're gonna go to Philippians four and four.
• 38:42
  And this is the n L T version. Okay, that's the one.
• 38:45
  Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again.
• 38:49
  Rejoice. Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember
• 38:54
  the Lord is coming soon. Don't worry about anything, and instead pray about
• 39:01
  everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.
• 39:07
  Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds everything we can understand.
• 39:13
  His peace will guard your hearts your mind as you live in Christ. His
• 39:19
  peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ. And now,
• 39:23
  dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what
• 39:29
  is true and honorable and right and pure and lovely and admirable. Think about
• 39:35
  things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you
• 39:40
  learned and received from me. Everything you heard from me and saw me doing.
• 39:45
  The God of Peace will be with you. How I praise the Lord
• 39:51
  that you are concerned about me Again. I know you have always been concerned
• 39:58
  for me, but you don't have to. You don't have the chance to
• 40:00
  help me. Is that what I say? But you didn't have the chance
• 40:06
  that I was like, wait a minute, but you didn't have the chance
• 40:08
  to help me, not that I was ever in need. For I have
• 40:14
  learned how to be content with everything I have. I know how to live
• 40:19
  on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in
• 40:24
  every every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with
• 40:30
  plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me
• 40:36
  strength. Even so, you have done well to share with me in my
• 40:42
  present difficulty. So before we before we tap and hold up. So this
• 40:47
  morning it came up in prayer during morning prayer, and my Daddy read from
• 40:54
  the NIV, and I gotta do it. I gotta do it, not
• 40:58
  from four. But let's see, I'm gonna start at ten. Verse ten,
• 41:04
  it says, I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you renew
• 41:08
  your concern from me. Indeed you were concerned, but you had no opportunity
• 41:14
  to show it, My God. I am not saying this because I am
• 41:17
  in need, my God, for I have learned to be content, may
• 41:23
  be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need,
• 41:30
  and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the
• 41:35
  secret of being content in any and every situation, whether wellfed or hurry,
• 41:44
  whether living in plenty or in want, I can do all things through Him
• 41:50
  who gives me strength, y'all man. So this is what I heard when
• 41:59
  my dad in this scripture. So you you mean to tell me, for
• 42:06
  one, contentment is a learned attribute that it don't just calm it, just
• 42:15
  don't because this is so good. The fact that you brought up the fact
• 42:17
  that you were numb, being numb and being content, Yeah, that's not
• 42:24
  that's but the enemy will try to confuse us with that and saying we're numb.
• 42:30
  No. Like, No, I'm content, but I still got hope.
• 42:35
  I'm content, but I still like no matter it says, no matter
• 42:38
  the circumstance, no matter what it's looking like, no matter how it's dressed
• 42:42
  up on the outside. Me right now, yeh meiod, Okay, I'm
• 42:49
  good. I'm good, and I ain't mad about where I'm at because I
• 42:53
  know that it's temporary. Right. Also, the second thing I see is
• 42:58
  that contentment leads to the revelation of God's strength. So now when I'm content,
• 43:07
  God can show how powerful. Yeah, how about that. I didn't
• 43:12
  even get that part of better preach people that you know be coming. She
• 43:19
  probably gonna watch this and be like call me and takes me. Let the
• 43:28
  word know you come from. But really like when it says I can do
• 43:34
  all things through Christ, who strengthens me, it comes after the understanding that
• 43:37
  I'm content where I am. That's the problem with us. We say,
• 43:44
  oh, I can do all three through christis stood to me. But what
• 43:46
  comes before that and what comes after that? That's what I want us to
• 43:50
  understand. When we're studying the Word of God, especially as kingdom entrepreneurs and
• 43:53
  creatives, we don't get the full picture because we don't and involve ourselves with
• 43:59
  your full revelation of what the chapter is bringing. Why can I do all
• 44:04
  things? Because you gotta ask the what, the who, what, when
• 44:07
  where. That's when they teach you in school. That's grade school level.
• 44:10
  So if I can apply that that before that tells me why I can do
• 44:17
  all things through Christ Who's strengthens me. My strength comes with mine where I'm
• 44:22
  content. Now, one thing we get confused by unca is that there's a
• 44:29
  difference between contentment watch it and settlement. Yep, yep, there's a difference
• 44:39
  between contentment. Let's talk about that and settlement, And I heard the Lord
• 44:45
  spay, let her tell the difference. Oh, I'm gonna let you tell
• 44:49
  the difference. We're gonna tagtain this thing. I feel. I do feel
• 44:53
  the blow. I ain't gonna lie. I feel the gloring. Now it's
• 44:57
  good. Now, what to your point about not getting a full picture most
• 45:00
  of these verses? I know, why did I not know they were together?
• 45:05
  I don't know that and have read them and don't understand why didn't know
• 45:08
  they So every my I'm trying to practice learning addresses to scriptures where they at
• 45:15
  right. So I set my alarm every day. Huh. I like how
• 45:19
  you put that address? I got that from Pastor Brandon clad He's a dope.
• 45:22
  It's really dope. But anyway, uh, But so every day I
• 45:28
  set my alarm at a certain time to quote a scripture. And right now
• 45:30
  I've been quoting Philippians for six through seven. And you know, I'm just
• 45:34
  trying to learn address. Good, I'm trying to learn addresses. Come on,
• 45:38
  So I got to quote that place because my phone's gonna re gonna quote.
• 45:42
  The alarm is gonna say what the scripture is, and I just had
• 45:44
  to quote it. So that's good. Yeah, I'm working on that.
• 45:47
  So the alarm goes off and it has the scripture eight o'clock every day,
• 45:52
  eight in the morning. And I was gonna say, Filippius for sixties.
• 45:54
  So you just quote it and then I quote it that that's that's good.
• 45:58
  That's good material be ringing at at work, and that's another way you can
• 46:07
  keep your mind on things above. But that's good. I'm gonna pass whach
• 46:14
  so but so Philippians for it's talking about don't worry about any y'all. Let
• 46:21
  me tell y'all what just have him. We in the middle of Philippians foreign
• 46:25
  Saiven and the Woman of God is explaining and the camera you see, I'm
• 46:30
  not gonna point it because I'm not gonna hold it up because it got a
• 46:32
  brand on them and I'm not gonna be scripted the brand. But literally the
• 46:37
  camera says something that desiated producer has never seen and she worked with this camera
• 46:43
  all the time, like it says something he never says. For this when
• 46:47
  when things are interrupted, it doesn't mean to stop. It doesn't always mean
• 46:53
  stop. I think I feel like that's a word for somebody like don't stop
• 46:59
  because things have been interrupted. There's a there's a just like there's an assignment
• 47:02
  for you to go, there's assignment for somebody to try to stop. Mm
• 47:07
  hmm, Like how about that. This is a tool that we use to
• 47:09
  try to produce. But what God is doing right now and the dog on
• 47:14
  thing is warm like never we've never had this problem, So I know somebody's
• 47:19
  gonna be free off this. My God, I received that, So God,
• 47:22
  I'm gonna yield the floor back to you. On the part of the
• 47:24
  conversation that you were talking about for lipyings for and said, yeah, yeah,
• 47:29
  and how it proceeds contentment, It said that scripture says, don't worry
• 47:31
  about anything, but instead pray about everything. That's whoa wait, you gotta
• 47:37
  say that again. Yeah, yeah, don't worry about anything, instead pray
• 47:43
  about everything, And that's proceed proceeds contentment. M you really do gotta sit
• 47:50
  with that for a second. Oh my gosh, because if you and me
• 47:54
  me choosing scriptures to so I can learn the addresses, it's things I'm really
• 47:59
  trying to I'm trying to become and I am trying to pray about everything because
• 48:05
  what I realize is when I pray about everything not work because I can be
• 48:08
  a word reward that that was something I struggle with and learning to pray about
• 48:15
  it really when you do it intentionally, like sometimes I think as people who've
• 48:21
  been raised in church, church, we just be doing stuff sometimes because we
• 48:23
  just it's it's tradition, it's habits what we know. But when you stop
• 48:28
  for a minute, as I was telling the Innecessus the other day, like
• 48:30
  when we were talking about faith, I stopped for a minute and let my
• 48:34
  mind catch up to what I'm about to do, because we need to be
• 48:37
  in sync real quick. That's so good. I need to be in sync
• 48:38
  God. God walked me through that thing last year. That's the whole story
• 48:42
  for another day. But being not being worried about so when things have come
• 48:45
  up recently, some stuff came up and I'm like, Okay, hold on
• 48:50
  it, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna echo fool. I'm not gonna I'm
• 48:52
  not gonna flip out and go off. I'm not. I'm not because I
• 48:57
  was about to make a call, and so because there were times I didn't,
• 49:01
  I had to go back and apologize. So I'm learning to not to
• 49:05
  worry and pray when you pray. It makes you aware of number one who
• 49:10
  you're talking to, okay, because he has the power to do exactly what
• 49:15
  you're what you're in need of. If he said he's gonna supply all your
• 49:17
  needs according to your riches in glory, if you're most of the time when
• 49:21
  we're not content in something, typically it's because it's something we feel like we
• 49:23
  need. But if he gonna supply it, then you need to pray about
• 49:27
  it and wait on him. There's the wait part. So contendment it requires
• 49:30
  you to wait too, And that's the part one. Don't want to don't
• 49:34
  we really want to wait? I know I had a struggle with waiting.
• 49:37
  But but but because that part that I saw that when I was preparing for
• 49:43
  today, I was like, wow, like you said, don't worry mind
• 49:46
  you, this is Paul talking. This is Paul. And so we we
• 49:51
  already know his journey, you know, and if you don't, you know
• 49:52
  he was he was definitely crucifying the Christians. He was killing him, killing
• 49:57
  them off. He was definitely not like Jesus dead period. Literally yeah,
• 50:05
  for real, And so just look, just watching Paul's journey is incredible.
• 50:08
  But but yeah, just thinking about how that don't worry part is before and
• 50:15
  to pray about it, meaning you don't do contendent alone. You don't.
• 50:21
  You don't do it alone. You got to say that one more times.
• 50:31
  You don't do contentment alone. You don't do it alone because why because God
• 50:36
  is with you, if you pray about it, if you pray about it,
• 50:38
  if you if you don't worry, because you got to not worry first
• 50:44
  and then pray about it, ask Him for everything, because remember Paul said,
• 50:47
  I learned to be content in everything, right, So don't worry about
• 50:52
  nothing, pray about everything. You know what's coming to my head the song
• 51:00
  his bald mark was like, don't worry. Yeah thing, yeah, ever
• 51:04
  little thing, it's gonna be alright. Yeah, that is anointed. Yeah,
• 51:09
  if he had to be in the word of because literally he went high,
• 51:15
  he was hot and the third third come on, he was he was
• 51:21
  high in the third heaven. But whatever, but that literally just came to
• 51:29
  my mind as you were talking. It literally said, don't worry about a
• 51:32
  thing because because everything The cause of me not worrying is because I understand that
• 51:37
  everything will be but that comes through prayer, prayer. So the formula we
• 51:44
  got to get back to the formula to So now you're telling me me,
• 51:47
  uncle, when I pray, I am content and because I'm content, I
• 51:55
  experiencing the strength of the Lord. Yeah, that's the form Yeah, that's
• 52:00
  the formula of the chapter Philippians, chapter four, yeah four through where we
• 52:06
  live. Can I tell you what the what is the medicine to depression?
• 52:12
  It's the formulas. A lot of times we depressed because we're not content and
• 52:16
  we worrying. A lot of times we we we were struggling in our mind
• 52:22
  because we who told you told Okay, just got critsed. I'm telling you
• 52:31
  when I when I learned that part, oh depression, I don't really deal
• 52:36
  with that like I used to. I really don't. And I'm gonna be
• 52:38
  confident in that my God. Sad days, bad days, we all got
• 52:43
  them, sure, but I'm not. I'm not depressed. I just don't
• 52:46
  deal with it no more because I am. But this is something let me
• 52:50
  also say this. I don't want you to feel like those that are watching
• 52:52
  don't feel like it's something you should just have. It is something that you
• 52:58
  have to practice every day. Being walking in the journey with God. Is
• 53:04
  it is so intentional. You cannot. And I think for me a part
• 53:07
  of that came because I felt like I should just know this stuff and I
• 53:13
  should just be able to do wait, because some of us in the Kingdom
• 53:16
  make people feel like they should know something. Yeah, that's why when we
• 53:21
  stopped. When we start, I never want to assume that anybody watching it
• 53:25
  at the same time is on the same level. If you might not know
• 53:29
  the Book of Moses, you might not understand that Abraham, you might not
• 53:31
  know you might not even understand Adam and Eve. That is not a detriment.
• 53:36
  It's not because at the end of the day, you gonna know God,
• 53:38
  You're gonna reveal to you with what you need to know at the time
• 53:44
  that you need to know understanding I can listen. I'm gonna tell y'all,
• 53:46
  I can't stand no believe it, baby, I don't care because this is
• 53:50
  my platform. You got a problem with what I'm saying, Chop it up
• 53:52
  with your mom, don't drop it up with me. Okay, take take
• 53:54
  it over with him somebody else. Now, don't come for me what you
• 53:58
  want to do. I cannot stand believers to expect out of them where they
• 54:05
  are just because they're there. That's good. Be able to come back down
• 54:09
  like you you you you were at the same point, like you were ignorant
• 54:15
  to it. How about that the reason why you got revelation was out of
• 54:17
  relationship because it was it was legality. And even these theological, theological people
• 54:24
  that can say all these big words that don't nobody understand that you ain't helping
• 54:28
  nobody but yourself. But you're not helping nobody but yourself. So go ahead,
• 54:31
  take the nugget, take the rebuke or whatever you want to look at
• 54:35
  it, and go get some practicality about your message. It is what it
• 54:39
  is. I don't care. Maybe you need to be talking to people on
• 54:43
  your level, maybe you be talking to the professors and the doctors. But
• 54:45
  you're trying to bring this stuff to babes who are still on milk. Listen.
• 54:52
  But then, babes, it's time to get off the milk. Now,
• 54:54
  time where you eat some solid food. Man, we ain't gonna stay
• 54:58
  on milk all day. We're not gonna ignore the fact that you need the
• 55:01
  mature But what I will say is sometimes we gotta make sure that we under
• 55:07
  were using a correct language, because not necessarily we're babing or making people stay
• 55:13
  where they are. But we meet, We're a call to meet people where
• 55:15
  they are. We are because it came from that level, we'll be able
• 55:17
  to speak to the speak to that level. And so that's just a nuggeting
• 55:21
  plug. Let me let me go here for a second. So beautiful girl,
• 55:27
  give me fine. She's talking about she nervely to she is slippery.
• 55:31
  I'm slad to sit here real quick about miss Bianca. So I just met
• 55:36
  her at the top of the month September. Was it the top of the
• 55:40
  month. Oh, you know, that's about right, right, And I'm
• 55:45
  very observant when I'm in atmospheres, right, So I go to the church.
• 55:50
  I visited the church a couple of times with Jessica. In this particular
• 55:53
  Sunday, it was supposed to be a panel. It was opposed to be
• 56:00
  in a panel, and Holy Spear did will Holy Spear be doing right?
• 56:04
  But what I even in that environment, what I paid attention to was I
• 56:07
  watched you walk up to PC and you whisper something in her ear right,
• 56:14
  and then you know they was doing Ever then she then says that, uh
• 56:20
  huh. Then she says, you know, and the Bianca has a word
• 56:23
  from the Lord right. So to me, I was like, oh no,
• 56:28
  first I recognized the order, right, you know what I'm saying.
• 56:31
  You was like, Okay, hear you, Lord, let me let me
• 56:35
  go, let me go, let me go say something. But the fact,
• 56:39
  like you be discounting yourself though, because obviously your leaders trust you enough
• 56:45
  to release you know, to release that word over the over the people that
• 56:50
  they are responsible for. Stuart right. So I just was like, man,
• 56:54
  that is so like I'd be watching still, you know what I'm saying,
• 56:57
  But I just paid attention to that. I was like, why did
• 56:59
  this just so beautiful for? Because you know, sometimes we just don't we
• 57:02
  don't understand the fullness of what we carry sometimes and confidence in that. But
• 57:09
  the fact that your your your pastors trust you in that vein she says a
• 57:15
  lot the beautiful thing. But what you just said is just proved that from
• 57:19
  when they trust themselves because and trust first of all, trust God, but
• 57:22
  trust themselves. And so I've been I've been experienced leaders where they they give
• 57:28
  you a leadership role and they say you're so great, but when it's time
• 57:32
  to execute and trust their greatness because God has given it to you and not
• 57:36
  them. Oh it's not good enough. So it was beautiful to even see
• 57:39
  the whole relationship unfolding. It maybe when you when you went in, we're
• 57:44
  not gonna talk about it, hey, so listen. So I'm just gonna
• 57:46
  tell you what happened, because because you know she here, you know she
• 57:50
  clearly we can see all it. But I just like my first experience,
• 57:52
  I just like it was overwhelming. It was like, I don't know.
• 57:55
  So she so what she said was the Lord had had you know, pretty
• 57:59
  much said there was anointing four, intercessory, a deeper level of prayer.
• 58:02
  She called the people up. You know, she prayed. You know,
• 58:05
  I thought only about two or three was coming. Okay, no, the
• 58:09
  church, the whole church. I saw listen, thinking about your face right
• 58:14
  now. It was like I did. She was okay. It was like
• 58:22
  and she went and she prayed, she laid hands. I went, I
• 58:24
  went down. I went down, and then I just remember like getting up
• 58:31
  and looking around and it was almost like I'm gonna say, like I'm gonna
• 58:35
  say a war zone because it was like everybody was just out. I was
• 58:37
  like, dang, that was quick. Was on the floor. It was
• 58:44
  the way. Why did the Lord have me pray for the pastor? I
• 58:46
  was like, let me it was to me and Stacey shout out to my
• 58:52
  girls. Love, I love. And Stacey was discussing it after church,
• 58:59
  no on on, and she was like, but it's the way that she
• 59:02
  stopped prophesying for somebody came back and started talking to you and saying your four
• 59:12
  thirty. I hit the boom. Friends, y'all we can so if y'all
• 59:19
  really stay after church, you can get the coming comical party. What just
• 59:23
  happened because we be laughing at We're like, God, you say after after
• 59:30
  and we could laugh about it because you said prophacy to somebody and you you
• 59:37
  just got know me, I just got off the floor. What else do
• 59:39
  you want to say? To be woman that gout? But yeah, that's
• 59:44
  that was a beautiful, a beautiful moment for you. But going back to
• 59:49
  the part of contentment versus settlement, because I don't want to leave that.
• 59:52
  Yes, sorry about that. Yes, no, it's fine. What you
• 59:57
  baby? We flow because here listen, really trying real hard to go up
• 1:00:05
  in the town. I really listen. Contentment. Let me start with settlement.
• 1:00:19
  So settlement, no, no, no, almost always contentment. So
• 1:00:22
  contentment says I understand where I am, but I also understand where I shall
• 1:00:30
  be. Yes. Yes, settlement says I was told where I would be,
• 1:00:37
  but I don't believe it because where I am. And so when we
• 1:00:42
  understand that the only thing that we should do, because settlement says that I
• 1:00:46
  will anchor myself here, that means that I will not move right. So
• 1:00:52
  I've had I made relationship and covenant with the area that was only supposed to
• 1:00:58
  be a season. Yeah. So when Paul says I've been through everything,
• 1:01:02
  whether I'm good or bad, I'm content because watch this I'm praying, which
• 1:01:08
  has gotten me a settlement. So now settlements with God allows me to be
• 1:01:16
  content in the moments that He allows me to experience. And so when we
• 1:01:22
  we as believers, have to be understand that what it looks like to be
• 1:01:28
  settled and anchored in God, that allows us to be content. But oftentimes
• 1:01:34
  what the enemy does is he allows us to be settled with our seasons and
• 1:01:40
  content with God. We can shoot, we say Okay, God, this
• 1:01:45
  ain't working, or you can do whatever you want to do. I don't
• 1:01:46
  you know, I'm here, but I'm not here anyway. That's contentment with
• 1:01:51
  God. When we should be settled in a place that's unmovable, shakeable,
• 1:01:57
  always anxiety, that's good. We have to change our appetite for the settlement.
• 1:02:02
  Yeah, that's so good. The only thing I should be settled in
• 1:02:06
  is the word of God. The only thing I should be unbreakable is the
• 1:02:08
  word of God. Seasons changed, but God doesn't. He does. And
• 1:02:14
  so my contentment is not saying that I am I am okay even okay with
• 1:02:20
  being here, like I'm happy being in this place. That's not saying happenings
• 1:02:23
  in peace we try to be like being in peace is that we're happy.
• 1:02:29
  Right. That means that I can. I can be here because I know
• 1:02:34
  that I got an exit, right, I got I have an exit and
• 1:02:37
  I don't even need no exit plan because the plan is for me to just
• 1:02:40
  go. Yah. If my steps are already ordered, I feel I feel
• 1:02:44
  God. If my steps are already ordered, then I don't need an exit
• 1:02:47
  plan. I just need to walk with the planner. Yeah, I just
• 1:02:51
  need to water and the planner. How do I do that? I pray.
• 1:02:55
  Prayer is communication were talking about this before. Prayer is communicating with God,
• 1:03:01
  God having God having dialect and and some and whatever language and experience because
• 1:03:07
  the language that they use, ju biuncle, we might have some similarities have
• 1:03:12
  God because we kind of you know. But Bob Keisha Corey, whoever,
• 1:03:19
  whoever right here, the dialect and the and the and the and the and
• 1:03:22
  the language that God uses with will use it with me. He might not
• 1:03:27
  use with you. And so you have to open yourself up and do relationship
• 1:03:30
  so you can understand how the plan is set up for you. That's how
• 1:03:34
  you understand the ordinances of yours. And so now, because I'm anchored in
• 1:03:43
  the God of the of the universe, the God of creation, the God
• 1:03:46
  of of of everything, right, I can be okay with what happens around
• 1:03:52
  because that part don't move me. Only God does. You're preaching woman,
• 1:03:57
  God because you listen. It was such a good revelation because we treat God
• 1:04:05
  like and I'm guilty of it, so I'm not being judge at all.
• 1:04:11
  We treat God. When you were understanding the word contentment, and I'm like,
• 1:04:14
  oh, yeah, I'm content with God. That means God, you
• 1:04:15
  work for me. Right now, that means God, you work for me.
• 1:04:20
  Currently, No, I'm settled in God. You are always no matter
• 1:04:25
  if I'm good or bad. That's what Paul is saying, no matter good
• 1:04:27
  or bad. I understand my relationship with God so much soul that things that
• 1:04:32
  happen around me don't affect me. And then because they don't affect me,
• 1:04:38
  you get to see the strength of the Lord. Yes, you know that's
• 1:04:41
  powerful. So contentment, when my mom used to say it to me.
• 1:04:45
  In my head, contentment was a bad thing, like it was like just
• 1:04:49
  just be like, just be okay, and I'm like, I said,
• 1:04:53
  I don't want to settle right that part. So that's how I understood it
• 1:04:57
  at first, until I learned that contentment is really trusting God. It is
• 1:05:03
  a place of trust if you don't worry, if you're gonna choose to pray.
• 1:05:08
  This is why I have to learn. If you're gonna choose to pray,
• 1:05:11
  you got to pray and say, okay, but I'm gonna trust you
• 1:05:14
  God, like this is what I need and I'm going to trust you.
• 1:05:16
  The problem is, it don't happen when we think it should happen. It
• 1:05:20
  don't happen how we think it should happen. And when we were talking earlier
• 1:05:25
  about it about that word, trying to trying to figure out, trying to
• 1:05:30
  measure God as to what you know, what that word said, and not
• 1:05:32
  waiting on God to bring the whole manifestation or being open to that whole thing,
• 1:05:36
  to that whole process. And so we limit God and then we start
• 1:05:40
  getting a disappointment because in reality we did not trust Him. And so if
• 1:05:45
  you're not gonna worry and if you're gonna pray and contentment requires trust God to
• 1:05:50
  trust to, there's no way. And so for me, my life and
• 1:05:57
  my journey is a puzzle because I got this piece in this season. I
• 1:06:00
  got that piece in this season when God was walking walking me through faith started
• 1:06:03
  about last year when He was walking me through faith, not just biblically.
• 1:06:08
  I know, I know the scripture, I understand faith. But then I
• 1:06:11
  had to he no, I need you to walk this thing out. So
• 1:06:14
  he started with me with small things for instance. This is how he started
• 1:06:16
  with me. It's gonna sound real crazy, but I'm a practical person.
• 1:06:20
  It has to be well, I need some steps, right. So last
• 1:06:26
  year I was working at Well I still work at Bath the Body Works part
• 1:06:28
  time, and I started there for the holiday season. I lived in some
• 1:06:30
  apartments and if you know anything about apartment complaxts, you could come home.
• 1:06:33
  Ain't no parking spot depending on how later gets in that you want and you
• 1:06:38
  want to get it's trifling, but go ahead, y'all gotta do better.
• 1:06:42
  Party complais. Y'all just gotta do better houses. We got to do it
• 1:06:47
  with a garage. Lord do it for me, okay. So I would
• 1:06:54
  get off of late because it was my part time job, and I would
• 1:06:56
  get off and the lord said, I want you to ask me for a
• 1:06:59
  parking spot when you get home from when you get home, and so,
• 1:07:01
  like I shared with the intercessis, I didn't just say, Lord blessed me
• 1:07:04
  with a park spot when I get home. I stopped because I was because
• 1:07:06
  he really made me do this. Get your mind right before you ask me.
• 1:07:11
  Come into awareness that I can do this. It's a parking spot.
• 1:07:15
  It sounds real simple, right, It sounds like a parking spot. It
• 1:07:18
  wasn't I need a miracle for healing. No, I just simply need a
• 1:07:21
  parking spot because I'm tied and I don't want to walk a long ways and
• 1:07:25
  it be stray cats and I don't like them, So I need anyway,
• 1:07:32
  so I would have to get my I would I would take a moment literally
• 1:07:36
  like no, a real pause before I start my car, or even while
• 1:07:40
  I'm at the red light, and get my mind together and say, okay,
• 1:07:43
  we're about to ask this of God, and say, God, I
• 1:07:46
  am asking you for a parking spot. I'm telling y'all, he walk me
• 1:07:48
  on this journey, and I literally maybe twice I would come home and there
• 1:07:54
  was no parking spot, not just up parking spot, but by my door,
• 1:07:58
  parking spot, by my steps, and even down to the times it
• 1:08:01
  didn't that was training ground. So you're gonna be unsettled in who I am
• 1:08:09
  because there was no parking spot. Is your settlement really in me? Are
• 1:08:12
  you settled to your point that I am God? Or if there's no parking
• 1:08:15
  spot, you're gonna be like, well is he? So sometimes in our
• 1:08:21
  journey with him, there's times that he has to say no because I need
• 1:08:27
  to check your settlement. I need to know that you are settled that I
• 1:08:31
  am God, and I will do exactly what I said. So when you're
• 1:08:36
  in your waiting and when you're content, it's gonna feel like God, le
• 1:08:43
  Lord, are you hearing me? Are you coming? When? Are you
• 1:08:47
  coming? When? But when you say I'm content in all things? And
• 1:08:53
  it's just so important for our generation, y'all, because they pushed so many
• 1:08:57
  narratives. Got to have a business, gotta go at the school, gotta
• 1:09:00
  gotta do this, gotta do that. I need to be doing this,
• 1:09:02
  I need to be doing that, and we're not really helping people journey through
• 1:09:08
  and process through and learn that. There's times of waiting. There's times that
• 1:09:12
  you just you gotta wait. I don't like the word either, Let's be
• 1:09:15
  clear. I don't always like it myself. But because I'm settled in Him,
• 1:09:23
  and because I know he has not seen the enemy really tried to trick
• 1:09:25
  me. I had to repent to God recently this week. The it was
• 1:09:32
  sometimes people can get confused, like we just up in the third heaven all
• 1:09:35
  the time. We deal with stuff down here. Yeah, and I'll be
• 1:09:39
  repenting your driving in the car. I'm so sorry, guy. I shouldn't
• 1:09:45
  have said that. I shouldn't did that. The enemy would have you believe
• 1:09:47
  in that God ain't with you, he don't love you, he ain't heard
• 1:09:51
  you. When stuff don't happen the way you think it should. And I
• 1:09:57
  was in a state of straight up disappointment with God. I disapoint it at
• 1:10:01
  a season that I had been in. And I even was angry, right,
• 1:10:06
  I was so angry with God. Right, and then when I got
• 1:10:10
  to this states place that I'm in now, last three months, let's be
• 1:10:15
  cleai, Okay, last three months, so that with God and repent,
• 1:10:20
  He healed me from the anger, repented or whatever. But I would share
• 1:10:24
  with people that's what I had to repent about, be transparent, right,
• 1:10:27
  this is why I repent. I would say to people in a really pure
• 1:10:30
  place, it's okay to be angry with God, right, not necessarily.
• 1:10:34
  So the what guy had to convict me about recently was it's a feeling,
• 1:10:40
  you know, of disappointment. But you shouldn't just be walking around with anger
• 1:10:44
  at me, you know. And so I had to walk through, Yeah,
• 1:10:46
  I had to walk through repentance. But because God is so amazed I
• 1:10:49
  love him, I just I love him so much, He's not gonna just
• 1:10:51
  say don't be angry. He's gonna give you understanding and clarity as to where
• 1:10:56
  you were. And the enemy tricked me and made me feel like God was
• 1:11:00
  disappointed me. But in reality, I was in a waiting season. I
• 1:11:02
  was in a holding season, and I misinterpreted my season and contentment. Well,
• 1:11:10
  have you misinterpreting your season? And I really feel this for somebody.
• 1:11:14
  You feel it for me, Okay, I really feel this because honestly,
• 1:11:21
  you're in a place now of having to be content, and that's just what
• 1:11:26
  God wants to get you. I just told this to somebody. I said,
• 1:11:29
  if you don't accept the time that you're in right now, you're gonna
• 1:11:31
  make it longer and harder. Just be content where you at you have to.
• 1:11:38
  Honestly, the season might go faster if you just trust him where you
• 1:11:43
  are. And I'm three years behind that. I wish I would have did
• 1:11:46
  it then, and then maybe one of the last three years maybe it would
• 1:11:49
  have. But maybe my three years would have been full of depression and sorrow
• 1:11:55
  and rejection and just being up on myself. Had I really just accepted the
• 1:12:00
  season I was in, which was just a resting season, I didn't know
• 1:12:02
  that. I thought God just I said, you're took his pair away from
• 1:12:06
  me. That But that also has to do with when you said knowing who
• 1:12:12
  you are and identity because when we have identity crass, when we have identity
• 1:12:16
  crasses, because babe, we can talk about me. I identify myself as
• 1:12:20
  a doer, like I don't know how to be my God, you said,
• 1:12:28
  just be earlier. The Woman of God is wearing or just b shirt
• 1:12:31
  shout out to coach d I love it to want to buy it. We're
• 1:12:34
  gonna have to link that shirt. But I'm ooh, I feel so you
• 1:12:45
  guys, y'all know, when I get transparent, it's getting really here.
• 1:12:48
  And so when you and this don't have anything that you do with Church's life.
• 1:12:56
  So you can be you can be atheist, you can be a Buddhist,
• 1:12:59
  whatever you you can be whatever you want to be. But when you
• 1:13:02
  operate, at the end of the day, the design of the Lord was
• 1:13:05
  for your your mother to birth you into a place and nurture the identity that
• 1:13:14
  your father affirmed. And when you don't understand or receive the affirmation of the
• 1:13:25
  father, it's nothing that is properly nurtured. So even your mother, yeah,
• 1:13:32
  even your mother, you know, discredit to single moms at all,
• 1:13:38
  even the mother confirm something that wasn't affirm. And so now I'm walking on
• 1:13:48
  guesses instead of confirmation. I'm walking as a question mark versus an exclamation point.
• 1:13:57
  And so when we understand the importance of identity, we we can allow
• 1:14:06
  God to ask us to risk without feeling disqualified. Yeah, man, that's
• 1:14:13
  good. We can allow God to say, take a break, I want
• 1:14:18
  to fill you up in this season and getting back to the place where God
• 1:14:27
  is saying, hey, it's now, it's time to go. Yeah,
• 1:14:30
  because when you go, when God tell you to go, listen, listen,
• 1:14:34
  no stopping, listen the gas plan right now, because god goal is
• 1:14:43
  a go, go, go go. You're gonna weigh yourself out on your
• 1:14:46
  own goal. But a God go is a go go listen. But when
• 1:14:50
  he says risks, because he's trying to replenish you is here. But being
• 1:14:56
  an identity crisis would allow you to say, well, God, you don't
• 1:14:58
  want to use it. I'm not enough God, I must have done something.
• 1:15:01
  I was made. I need to fall and watch this. Not knowing
• 1:15:05
  identity, understand our identity in Christ leads us back into the sinful places,
• 1:15:17
  ya geese. It leads us back into sinful places, those dark places where
• 1:15:27
  we were like, you know what, God, if you're not gonna use
• 1:15:29
  me. I'm gonna be used by something else. I gotta be used,
• 1:15:31
  did it? I gotta be I gotta feel wanted. The only way I
• 1:15:36
  feel wanted and desired is being used and accepted in what looks like appreciation,
• 1:15:46
  but it's really manipulation. What it what it looks like love, but it's
• 1:15:51
  really love. It looks like value is really pimped. Wow. And so
• 1:16:02
  now I got to reconstruct my understanding so powerful of my identity because when I
• 1:16:09
  know who I am, I understand the assignment of my resting season. That's
• 1:16:14
  powerful. That's I think. Everything always goes back to identity. Yeah,
• 1:16:19
  everything always goes back. That is why we are in the crisis that we
• 1:16:25
  are in now in the earth, is because there is an attack on identity.
• 1:16:28
  And when you know who the heck you are and who the heck you
• 1:16:30
  are, she said, hey, heck you are certain things. Just you
• 1:16:34
  just be like it came out of me Sunday when I was doing transition,
• 1:16:41
  I said, I know who I am now because I didn't. Man,
• 1:16:45
  girl, I did it. And when when you are stripped from your father,
• 1:16:47
  as you said, I remember learning that that fathers give affirmation and they
• 1:16:53
  I mean, they also give identity and they speak to that. That's why
• 1:16:56
  when I went on my heeling Jersey, I went intentional about asking certain questions
• 1:17:00
  because I knew my father and we have a relationship. I talked to him
• 1:17:02
  all the time, great relationship. I talked to him. I'm very close
• 1:17:05
  to that my father's side of the family. But there was other questions that
• 1:17:09
  I needed to know that I probably would have already known had he been in
• 1:17:13
  the house. So I had to ask certain questions to make sense of who
• 1:17:17
  I was, to get to bring out certain identity pieces. But I do
• 1:17:21
  believe to the point of identity. I think one of the biggest reasons why
• 1:17:26
  it's in attacks because because I do believe. See they go that scripture,
• 1:17:30
  girl go ahead. We don't talk about it, girl, don't, don't,
• 1:17:36
  don't don't. We're not reason why it's that prayer about everything. Tell
• 1:17:42
  God what you need, Thank for all He's done. Here's his peace,
• 1:17:45
  his peaceful guard your heart and mind as you live in Christ Jesus. Because
• 1:17:51
  I wasn't really hoping in one go go I was like, surely will be
• 1:17:54
  done by eight and and so, but mine to God. But but honestly,
• 1:18:02
  I really thought. But really I think that part of the reason why
• 1:18:06
  I feel like God hasn't He intercepts obviously the situation. But I think that
• 1:18:13
  the whole point is that you we can always go back to Him. Yeah.
• 1:18:16
  And I think if you're if you're not in a in a space of
• 1:18:20
  if you're in a healing journey and it don't bring you back to God,
• 1:18:25
  I question, if you're really on a healing journey, it shows alway he
• 1:18:30
  is the healer. There is no I don't I don't care what nobody said.
• 1:18:34
  He is the healer. Not your medicine, not your therapist, not
• 1:18:40
  your psychiatrist. He is the healer. And if it does not bring you
• 1:18:44
  back to him, I question if you have experienced total healing. Girl,
• 1:18:47
  So identity with healing my person who dealt with low self esteem and confidence.
• 1:18:54
  And I mean, I ain't gonna go there, but it is it is
• 1:18:57
  a thing for me, confidence and low self esteem or whatever and so and
• 1:19:01
  I believe now the old, the more mature I get, it's my place
• 1:19:04
  for humility. I know why. I know, I know my bloodline.
• 1:19:11
  So for me, I'm okay with that. Keep me with a little insecurities
• 1:19:15
  because I shall not be that you said, there will be no other guy
• 1:19:17
  before you, and it won't be Beyonca. So if this is what we
• 1:19:20
  got to do to keep Beyonca humble, let's I didn't want to say it.
• 1:19:25
  I didn't want to say I didn't want to touch on that. But
• 1:19:28
  that throwing, that's what it's real in these I think that's a my fleshed
• 1:19:32
  watch it. Just keep ball him, listen, listen. I think that's
• 1:19:40
  why when people say they see certain things in me, I genuinely I'm not.
• 1:19:45
  When I said glory to God, I know what it's like to not
• 1:19:49
  have his hand and be trying to operate, and I'm I'm like, oh
• 1:19:56
  my, because that ain't that. Yeah, So for me, I'm okay
• 1:20:05
  with that, and I'm okay with not. I don't. I am not
• 1:20:09
  lying to you. I don't see how what people when when when past the
• 1:20:13
  seat, past the Korean and PG were saying the stuff that they said they
• 1:20:16
  did, I don't see it. I really don't. And I'm okay with
• 1:20:19
  that because honestly, me flowing and the things that God allows me to do,
• 1:20:25
  it is it is only the Holy Spirit if he took his hand off
• 1:20:30
  me. I don't know if the words will come out of my mouth properly.
• 1:20:32
  I ain't lying to you. I have to relate. I'm not.
• 1:20:35
  This ain't churchy jargon. I really have to rely on him. I'm not
• 1:20:39
  the smartest. I'm I'm not. I'm not the most intelligent. I graduated
• 1:20:45
  high school. Thank you, Laudie. Okay, thank you Lord, grateful
• 1:20:50
  that you got me through. Literally, I am, I'm not the smartest.
• 1:20:56
  I there was a time reading the Bible was tough because my reading apprehension
• 1:21:00
  was an issue. Get out of my store. Being transparent girl. Reading
• 1:21:04
  comprehension was an issue. Right now, if you give me a Harry Potter
• 1:21:08
  novn, I'm like, I don't know what I just read the first two
• 1:21:09
  pages. But you can get this back. But when he gives me something
• 1:21:12
  to read, I comprehend it because I need the Holy Spirit. He is
• 1:21:16
  not your help of just to speaking tongues. I feel the glory. He
• 1:21:19
  is not your helper just to speaking tongues and lay hands. He really helped
• 1:21:25
  me make day to day decisions every single day. Should I make a writer?
• 1:21:29
  Should I make a left at dislike because it could be accident. No,
• 1:21:33
  lie, right now, there's a street I could go this, I
• 1:21:35
  can go two ways to go home. It's one street that the last few
• 1:21:39
  weeks, I'm like, I don't know why you won't let me go down
• 1:21:41
  the street. But we're gonna go on turn up here. I don't know
• 1:21:44
  why. I'm just gonna trust them, right, I'm just gonna trust him.
• 1:21:46
  So I don't know where I went with that, but I'm telling you,
• 1:21:49
  like I know that that that that place is a is a is a
• 1:21:54
  place of humility from me and so my my situation, my my my journey
• 1:21:58
  with my father was its necessary. Woo, come on, it was necessary.
• 1:22:03
  It also separate, girl, get real, don't Also, I could
• 1:22:09
  have stayed at a church that was full of religion outside apart from that,
• 1:22:14
  I learned relationship, not religion. That's there's a difference, y'all. Like
• 1:22:19
  there is a difference. So I always tell my uh my story as far
• 1:22:26
  as like the way I've changed church churches because I grew up in a church.
• 1:22:30
  Shout out to the seeing me church. I really love them and appreciate
• 1:22:32
  them because that's why I learned about God. So we a lot of times
• 1:22:39
  sometimes in our generation because we appreciate understanding relationship with God. It's more feasible
• 1:22:44
  to us because of social media, So we're understanding. It's more it's more
• 1:22:47
  tangible, yes, now because of what we get to experience. Sure everybody
• 1:22:51
  doesn't get to experience that's right, whatever. And so when we're breaking the
• 1:22:55
  mold and we're learning and we're elevating, we can't discredit where we learned God
• 1:22:59
  that the first time? Can I can? I can I jump? I
• 1:23:01
  needed? I do need to say that because I agree with you on that,
• 1:23:04
  and I'm very cautious about that, and I'm cautious about people destroying what
• 1:23:10
  was done because there was there was something too that was saying again, I
• 1:23:14
  believe, I believe that God has a plan for everything that kept that generation.
• 1:23:18
  Thank you. You don't know in reality what God was shielding them from
• 1:23:23
  exactly. And then you also have to understand where that come from. If
• 1:23:26
  we're gonna talk about slavery, you know, so understand I don't. I
• 1:23:29
  don't dishonor them. I don't. There's pieces of that that you need to
• 1:23:32
  take. I have a problem with you going and dogging out what it was
• 1:23:39
  and there's nothing you could take from that, that would mean God ain't read
• 1:23:43
  in churches that you were hurt from. Exactly, there's something I was.
• 1:23:46
  The reason why I was at the church was not because I was about to
• 1:23:49
  stay, but because I needed to learn and take in. But the church
• 1:23:53
  heard happened because of the flitt But what happened in the spirit was necessary for
• 1:23:56
  my elevations. At the end of the day, God want to put me
• 1:23:58
  there if it wasn't a lesson to be learned. So we have to understand
• 1:24:01
  that there's levels. Just each level that I encountered required a new church.
• 1:24:09
  Why it required a new community because I had maxed out at that community at
• 1:24:15
  that level. And so I appreciate, you know, learning you know God
• 1:24:21
  at that level, learning who God is. But then there's religious stuff that's
• 1:24:28
  attached to it. Right, and so when when the problem of the lack
• 1:24:33
  of conversion and a lack of understanding where this this time means because the timing
• 1:24:39
  of God is real, because like you said, that's what they needed.
• 1:24:42
  But this generation needs relationship, meaning for relationship, the feaning for understanding because
• 1:24:48
  they're seeing everybody that's all you see on social media, relationship relationship with its
• 1:24:53
  friends, whether it's money, whether it's with with a loved one, like
• 1:24:57
  whatever is, it's centered around relationship. And so if we as a body
• 1:25:00
  of Christ don't really understand how to promote relationship, we die. That section
• 1:25:09
  of the religious part makes the church die because you're you're stuck in so much
• 1:25:15
  tradition that there's no room for relationship to intercede for what is needed for the
• 1:25:19
  now. And so we have to appreciate where we are. First of all,
• 1:25:25
  you make me feel real oily with the conversation. I think you because
• 1:25:28
  I feel like I feel like anointed right now, like I feel like,
• 1:25:32
  listen, let me just blame it on blaming on an atmosphere like that,
• 1:25:36
  because here, but when we understand like the levels of of like you say,
• 1:25:45
  all things work right, there's a reason. There's things that I just
• 1:25:48
  love and I will not let go of my seeing me. There's things that
• 1:25:53
  I actually learned relationship at the worship Center, shout out to Bishop Van Moody,
• 1:25:59
  like I learn I didn't know. I didn't know you could have a
• 1:26:01
  relationship with God. I thought it was hey do this, As I said,
• 1:26:05
  I'm even struggling with this now, I'm even struggling with this now because
• 1:26:12
  I'm like, God, I did this because I was told to, not
• 1:26:15
  because I had the heart. So now I'm struggling with Okay, God,
• 1:26:21
  the reason why I revisit certain areas is because my heart hasn't accepted who I
• 1:26:28
  am, because I'm just the doer that goes back to him. I'm just
• 1:26:32
  I'm breaking the door spirit. It's okay for me to execute, but to
• 1:26:36
  act like I just like, okay, Well, I'm only good enough when
• 1:26:40
  I do and if I don't do what you want me to do, then
• 1:26:44
  I'm not accepted. I'm not value. But you said something that was so
• 1:26:46
  powerful earlier, and I'm not going to skip this because I feel like a
• 1:26:50
  man is going to listen to this and need to understand why it's important for
• 1:26:54
  him to be healed. It's important because you carry the responsibility of legacy and
• 1:27:03
  identifying where your next generation will go. That's right, and so literally,
• 1:27:11
  when you are one not present, when you are not present, that affects
• 1:27:17
  that that calling, that assignment. But also when you are unhealed, Yeah,
• 1:27:25
  you could be present. My fa. I love my dad. I
• 1:27:28
  have a great father. I'm wonderful father. My father is a pastor,
• 1:27:32
  my baby, my father, so my my dad, My dad is soly.
• 1:27:36
  My dad is soly, it's beyond me. Like I didn't realize how
• 1:27:42
  oly my father was until until I got older. But I do remember that
• 1:27:50
  it was areas that he was unhealed. Sure they did not allow him to
• 1:27:56
  execute his fatherly. Understand this being a father and a mother is and so
• 1:28:03
  because everybody don't get to do it, listen, girl, say as PC
• 1:28:09
  says, say for the people in the bike said for the people in the
• 1:28:14
  bike. Okay, it's a mantle. And so when you don't understand the
• 1:28:18
  mental because you your distortion of who you are as about the man, then
• 1:28:25
  it breaks the the necessity of generational upbringing because we were never identified so man,
• 1:28:40
  black, white, Puerto Rican Chinese. I almost went to mister Yello.
• 1:28:46
  Yeah, I thought that's where you was. Lyric we say just be
• 1:28:53
  just but I'm gonna say, just be healed. Listen, so true first
• 1:28:58
  of all, just be let me not act like I've been. Just be.
• 1:29:00
  That was a I remember getting prophetic words from people, different people,
• 1:29:05
  no connection, at different times telling me to just be and I was just
• 1:29:10
  like, I don't care what you mean what you mean being content and who
• 1:29:16
  I am. I want I want to touch on that part because when you
• 1:29:20
  heal and it brings you back to God, he will also, as you
• 1:29:26
  said about your father, help you to see the person that hurt you.
• 1:29:30
  It really will. Me and my dad have an amazing relationship from a distance.
• 1:29:35
  He's all the way up north. I'm in Delaware, I'm here.
• 1:29:38
  We have an amazing relationship. But it came from me understanding God's showing me
• 1:29:43
  who he is and what he what possibly was his issues or circumstances or what
• 1:29:48
  he was, and understanding they were human because we do have to separate our
• 1:29:55
  parents from their role and being a human, just as you have have to
• 1:30:00
  do the same for your pastors and your teachers, every person that leads you.
• 1:30:03
  Though they are you're a leader, they are still human having a same
• 1:30:10
  the same walking journey with God, the same one. We just expect perfection.
• 1:30:15
  Okay, I can understand, I can understand why. But in reality,
• 1:30:19
  when you heal, that's what I'm talking about healing, because you cannot
• 1:30:21
  tell me that you heal and there's no place in you that God has revealed
• 1:30:28
  to you, even correction about how you saw your problem. There's no way,
• 1:30:33
  it's no possible way. Why because healing allows grace your mouth watch because
• 1:30:45
  I love. Don't don't get me started on grace, because what is grace?
• 1:30:48
  The undeserved, the undeserved. We don't deserve it, not at all.
• 1:30:53
  And when you know, another kid helped me with my father, I
• 1:30:57
  knew how ragged I was, And I said, God, had you let
• 1:31:01
  me have a child as young as they did? If you don't speak,
• 1:31:06
  if you let me stop yelling, if you do not speak, woman of
• 1:31:12
  God. But that's how my mom. Huh when I realized because my listen,
• 1:31:17
  I think I talked to it, talk about it before me and my
• 1:31:19
  mama strained relationship. Yeah, it wasn't until I understood that she was a
• 1:31:28
  woman first. First, that she was a woman first with a history,
• 1:31:33
  with a history, but also an anointing. Now I'm annoying. I'm I'm
• 1:31:42
  growing up frustrated with a woman with an anointing that's trying to maneuver through these
• 1:31:46
  worldly the first evening that we learned tod I'm trying to maneuver through these worldly
• 1:31:53
  experiencing. I'm mad at her. But now I'm the woman with annoying with
• 1:31:58
  the anointing, trying to maneuver through the worldly experience, taking a turn down
• 1:32:02
  another street becaus real and then a lot of times, most of our parents,
• 1:32:06
  especially those of us who were raising church, were raised in religion.
• 1:32:11
  So you're trying to navigate. First of all, our parents married at nineteen,
• 1:32:15
  girl, I was a foul at nineteen. I wanted to be mad.
• 1:32:20
  Thank you Jesus, girl who God I married? Oh, it was
• 1:32:30
  just a moment for just a moment to think, thank you Jesus God.
• 1:32:33
  I thank you, thank you God, thank you for that. No,
• 1:32:36
  for that No, But he said, because it was one. It was
• 1:32:42
  you asked me for too much. It was a fool. I was really
• 1:32:45
  not. Only that might be girl talk. Yeah, say that you're mighty
• 1:32:50
  God. So it could have went another way. Uh huhd. But God,
• 1:32:58
  So you navigate being nineteen young, fresh out your mom house, my
• 1:33:02
  mom fresh out my mom house, marrying a man because we're in reality in
• 1:33:06
  nineteen you don't know who you are. They don't know, and so they're
• 1:33:12
  trying to navigate all that build a family serving minutes because they both very annointed
• 1:33:16
  people. My dad passes the church and now they are hot. My dad
• 1:33:21
  and my mama. Well, now I'm loud, okay. I'm just loud
• 1:33:25
  by nature. My dad felt we loud people we loud, okay. So
• 1:33:28
  I tell people all the time, don't think your prayer ain't powerful because you
• 1:33:30
  loud, because you ain't loud. I'm talking loud right now. I'm just
• 1:33:33
  a loud Everything about me is loud walking I was loud. I'm not loud,
• 1:33:36
  So don't make that they power ain't ain't got no do a tones.
• 1:33:41
  But my parents are very There are some prayer warriors literally like they can pray,
• 1:33:46
  pray, they pray, so it didin't just fall out the sky for
• 1:33:48
  me is what I came from. And so understanding them being annointed to your
• 1:33:55
  peace because I never thought about that because people be really hard on believe.
• 1:34:00
  But it's hard when you're trying to navigate an annoyance and a mantle and exist
• 1:34:05
  and existing life in the world and all these things that are going on.
• 1:34:10
  And I never really talk about that because you you can't really share that with
• 1:34:14
  people who don't get it or who know who don't understand that. And it's
• 1:34:16
  not a it's not a better than you. First of all, I don't
• 1:34:19
  care what. I don't understand the walk of a police officer. I don't
• 1:34:24
  understand the mayor, I don't understand the government. They need mayor friends who
• 1:34:29
  know what they're talking about. You. One of my my previous pastor twice.
• 1:34:32
  But first of all, Pastor Mike, love him the pieces. He
• 1:34:35
  said something, you can't vent down. You have to vent up. You
• 1:34:39
  do. You can't vent down the people who don't get you. Okay,
• 1:34:42
  so you have to vent up so you don't so talking to people who get
• 1:34:45
  that is my point in saying that. So yeah, So trying them trying
• 1:34:50
  to navigate being annoying to trying to navigate being a parent and a husband and
• 1:34:56
  a wife and a servant. And my parents served in ministry. Me serving
• 1:35:00
  the ministry ain't nothing new. That's just what I was taught watching them do
• 1:35:03
  it. They did their whole life, both of my parents. Groups to
• 1:35:05
  my mom coaching my dad from acosta and so that and so just trying to
• 1:35:10
  navigate that whole thing and be a man, help me to give him grace.
• 1:35:14
  It helped me to heal. And you know what's interesting, it just
• 1:35:16
  helped me to free your dead of certain understandings from the first see we always
• 1:35:23
  and this is a very good If you made it to this part, you're
• 1:35:27
  you're gonna you're gonna be blazed out. Yes. Yeah, So in the
• 1:35:30
  beginning, we look at your father and we hear he left. Yeah,
• 1:35:35
  and that's what normally, let's say, one hundred people see. But then
• 1:35:40
  as we keep developing, the store end up hearing that you are let's say
• 1:35:46
  eighty to ninety people hear that you're heal from all that is cute, Okay,
• 1:35:49
  so we're gonna dismiss that. Then fifty you get to hear that how
• 1:35:55
  the process went, yeah, but only ten get to hear the fact of
• 1:35:59
  why you at able to heal. Because the connection is when I put myself
• 1:36:03
  in the place when I was nineteen, yeah, I knew I didn't have
• 1:36:06
  it together at all. So now my daddy did made a sacrifice that God
• 1:36:13
  didn't necessarily probably tell him he had to make, but he did it.
• 1:36:16
  But he did it because of his expectation of himself. Now I got a
• 1:36:21
  new understanding of your father because put it. And this is so we as
• 1:36:27
  people have to give our our parents, our leaders, or whoever grace.
• 1:36:33
  We gotta give them grace, because what the enemy wants us to do is
• 1:36:38
  it's I am a bloodline breaker. If y'all don't know this, I've said
• 1:36:42
  this multiple times. I know that that's part of my mental I'm called to
• 1:36:45
  that. And so what the enemy does is because the ministry starts at the
• 1:36:50
  home, he wants to break the home because that breaks the church at automatically,
• 1:36:55
  that automagmatically discredits the church. Yes, and so when I bring the
• 1:37:00
  home and I break the father down, the head, when I when I
• 1:37:03
  when I break the head now and I make him overwhelm, I make him
• 1:37:10
  depress, I make him feel like he's not enough. He's so caught up
• 1:37:14
  in himself that he's not able to execute out of the anointing that God has
• 1:37:18
  all or named him to be. And I'm not even talking about like this
• 1:37:23
  hyper spiritual anointing. What I'm saying, what you are naturally born to do,
• 1:37:28
  what your natural capabilities are. Because every man is capable of being a
• 1:37:33
  father. However, the choice to discredit or walk away from the ordinances of
• 1:37:40
  God breaks that. I believe, and if we affirm our men, I
• 1:37:46
  just I don't know why I'm on the men. So hard right now,
• 1:37:48
  But I really feel like we do a disservice to our men. For me,
• 1:37:53
  I want to just speak to you. I want to speak to your
• 1:37:56
  heart. You deserve your best self before any for for giving yourself to any
• 1:38:00
  woman, before giving yourself to any job, before giving yourself to anything outside
• 1:38:05
  of your relationship with God. God actually created you first and did relationship with
• 1:38:11
  you first. He did. He He said, Hey, I want to
• 1:38:14
  make this atmosphere, and I want you to identify what it is in this
• 1:38:18
  atmosphere. And so I want to reposition you on where you came out of
• 1:38:23
  my God Jesus I'm calling you for and to the position where you've always been.
• 1:38:28
  All yes, in the name of Jesus. So we just got up.
• 1:38:33
  I decreed, declared. There's some healed men. I believe that,
• 1:38:38
  And I believe that men he Adam named, he had him to name,
• 1:38:44
  name the name, he told him to name the animal. He did.
• 1:38:46
  And so that's why you you have that authority. That's why men have that
• 1:38:50
  that that the authority that that place of the kingship of their house. And
• 1:38:56
  it's it's important that that you drew that you drew that out. And I'm
• 1:39:00
  I believe some here men gonna come from this. I do. Listen,
• 1:39:02
  we're gonna have to have you bike, okay, yeah, yeah, because
• 1:39:06
  we done went like it's so easy to talk to you. It's so easy
• 1:39:12
  to talk to you, and I hope you guys listen, listen. One
• 1:39:15
  thing I want to do before the last thing we're gonna do is I'm gonna
• 1:39:19
  ask you to pray. I saw that and I want to be obedient.
• 1:39:24
  You can't ask in a sense of the come and not pray like that.
• 1:39:27
  That's so however you want to flow with its part of conversation, whatever God
• 1:39:30
  allows you to do. Just pray. But for that, I want to
• 1:39:39
  say thank you, thank you for saying yes, thank you for coming to
• 1:39:45
  just as that you are. Definitely you gotta be a repeat, because baby,
• 1:39:47
  because we got some more. I don't. I don't feel like that
• 1:39:51
  that is it's gonna be enough. But I want you to pray. But
• 1:39:56
  before you pray, because I don't want to listen. I don't need this
• 1:40:01
  camera. Talking about the batteries is going to change this out my right now.
• 1:40:09
  M m m yep, that's fine, mm wisdom. I was like,
• 1:40:17
  yeah, we don't we're just gonna go on because what we're not about
• 1:40:21
  to do. Oh Jesus my God, I feel it. Please don't go,
• 1:40:35
  don't think about that. Listen, ain't his legs. Let's go.
• 1:40:47
  So I want you to pray, But before you pray, I would like
• 1:40:56
  for you to allow allow people the opportunity to connet with you, because what
• 1:41:00
  you don't realize is I say we create a safe space for Kingdom entrepreneurs and
• 1:41:08
  creatives. And obviously there is a level, that a new level that you're
• 1:41:12
  about to walk into Bianca, where God is saying what you didn't identify as
• 1:41:17
  I have already called you to be. That's part of your just be anointing
• 1:41:23
  like and so you can only speak to an audience who you are called to
• 1:41:28
  because you embody a portion of that right and so I want you to really
• 1:41:32
  just meditate on that. I just felt so drawn to you when you know,
• 1:41:39
  we were having a conversation and I was like, man, you see
• 1:41:42
  you even see stuff that's I'm like, man, you are so anointed and
• 1:41:45
  so powerful, and sometimes we think that anointing is only for the church.
• 1:41:50
  But I called forth your creativity. I called forth your entree entrepreneur mindset and
• 1:42:00
  everything. I'm just gonna say this part. Everything was coming to alignment,
• 1:42:04
  an agreement with what has already been predestined for you. And so I'm excited
• 1:42:11
  for what's about to happen, what's already happening because this desireate. I think
• 1:42:16
  we can agree on this. This is only the beginning. This is only
• 1:42:19
  the beginning. So before you lead us, lead us out, shall tell
• 1:42:26
  the folks how they can connect with you. I mean, I just got
• 1:42:30
  regular Facebook and Instagram. So on Facebook and bea Miller, be why they
• 1:42:35
  spell it out for the unique a n C A Miller And on Instagram,
• 1:42:41
  I'm b J Miller, B dot J Miller And that's what I meant.
• 1:42:45
  Nothing but my life ain't no nothing special extra going on. But yeah,
• 1:42:48
  it's the oil on there. Though you ain't got TikTok. I do,
• 1:42:54
  but I don't know the name. I just be like create. I just
• 1:42:58
  did like two tiktoks before, and we didn't want for my I think it
• 1:43:01
  might be the same thing because I think that it might be b J Miller.
• 1:43:05
  See how she did it. I know she's business. Yeah, we
• 1:43:10
  do what my family we do have a cleaning business. But yeah, okay,
• 1:43:13
  I didn't plug it. Yeah, what's the what's the cleaning business rooms
• 1:43:15
  and rags? It is? We're also on Instagram. Okay, if you
• 1:43:19
  need y'all know some of your house is dirty, y'all need y'all some of
• 1:43:24
  y'all businesses, be free, go ahead, let the lights off. The
• 1:43:31
  professionals do it like you ain't got time for yourself, and let the professionals
• 1:43:38
  do. Listen. Yeah, I think my TikTok is. I think it
• 1:43:43
  is b J. Miller. I think it's right. I think it is.
• 1:43:45
  So listen when she pray, y'all that that's the end. So it
• 1:43:49
  ain't no benediction for me. Remember, in all things, if life could
• 1:43:55
  be much more simple when you just ask, y'all like the cute slogan,
• 1:43:58
  But what's most most important is what about the praise? So all hearts real
• 1:44:02
  churchart. Father, We thank you so much God for this day. We
• 1:44:10
  thank you for this opportunity. God, this was a chiros moment. We
• 1:44:13
  thank you for this moment in time. You allow time to stop for just
• 1:44:16
  a moment to cause people to understand and hear you through this through our stories.
• 1:44:21
  We thank you Lord that transparency God, calls people to see you God,
• 1:44:26
  and so Father, I thank you that even in this moment, those
• 1:44:30
  that heard the heard this testimony, even with father wounds and mother wounds,
• 1:44:33
  and even pastor wounds and church wounds. Father, I thank you that in
• 1:44:38
  this moment that they saw you and God, that they heard that it is
• 1:44:42
  you that they need for the healing. Not just the doctor, not just
• 1:44:45
  a therapist, but Father, they need you for to complete the healing.
• 1:44:48
  And I even believe that there are some people that feels like I've been going
• 1:44:51
  to therapy, I've been taking this medication and nothing is working. But I
• 1:44:56
  thank you God that apart from you, we can do nothing. That is
• 1:44:58
  what your word says. And so Father, I pray that even in this
• 1:45:01
  moment that Father chasing after you would beginning to be imparted into the lives of
• 1:45:06
  those that are watching. Even in this moment, Father, I pray now,
• 1:45:11
  God, that you will put a thirst in them. God, as
• 1:45:14
  a deer panted for the water, so does our soul long long for you.
• 1:45:18
  I pray God that even in this moment, that they did not hear
• 1:45:21
  our word, just hear our testimony, just to hear it, but a
• 1:45:25
  longing and a thirst. Yes, God was placed on the inside of them.
• 1:45:29
  Father, I pray now in Jesus name, that we are hidden behind
• 1:45:32
  the cross, but our stories reveal you. God. I pray now,
• 1:45:36
  God, that the spirit of depression begin to break off of us, because
• 1:45:41
  we choose to be content in all things, that we choose to trust You.
• 1:45:45
  Lord. I pray Father, that even as we are on these journey,
• 1:45:48
  everyone is on a different type of journey. And so God, I
• 1:45:51
  pray Hallelujah, that we won't discredit our journey. God, that our journey
• 1:45:57
  may not match the other person. It may not look like somebody at the
• 1:46:00
  church, and may not look like even those of us sitting here, But
• 1:46:02
  that God, our journeys were uniquely for our design. They were created for
• 1:46:08
  our experience. Yes, God, they were created for our history. And
• 1:46:12
  so Father, I pray now in Jesus' name, freedom, hit this phone,
• 1:46:15
  hit this lamb in the name of Jesus made the person He condumnab hosan
• 1:46:20
  Daya made the person. How glory to Jesus feel freedom? Yes, Lord,
• 1:46:25
  as they are watching this, no shame, no guilt. Even fathers
• 1:46:29
  and mothers who may feel that they drop their children, there is no condemnation.
• 1:46:33
  Glory to God to those that are in Christ, Jesus, let grace,
• 1:46:38
  hey, glory hit this line. There is no condemnation to pastors who
• 1:46:42
  haven't feel like they drop people and made mistake. There is no condemnation.
• 1:46:46
  I declaring Jesus' name that you feel the healing power of God even as you
• 1:46:51
  watch this made the healing annoying to Hey, Glory to God hit your rumor
• 1:46:57
  life never before, and begin to snatch you out of the In the mighty
• 1:47:00
  name of Devil, you have no authority over the minds of God's people.
• 1:47:04
  I command freedom to their mind. In the name, you shall chase after
• 1:47:09
  God freely. In the name of Jesus. You shall know that you are
• 1:47:13
  a son and a daughter. You've been bought with the high price. Yes,
• 1:47:16
  Lord, he said, I sent my only begotten son. He laid
• 1:47:19
  his life down for you. I don't care how many people you slept with.
• 1:47:24
  I don't care how many bad decisions you make. I don't care if
• 1:47:27
  you left your whole family. I declare in Jesus' name that freedom belongs to
• 1:47:31
  you. You are not an orphan. Yes, Lord, you are not
• 1:47:34
  rejected. I don't care what days hold you. You are not abandoned by
• 1:47:39
  the power of the living God. You are a son, and you are
• 1:47:43
  ad and we command now. And Jesus has your mind back. Yes,
• 1:47:47
  yes, take the mind backer under the Holy Ghost. We take your mind
• 1:47:51
  back of under the fire of God. In the name of Jesus. You
• 1:47:55
  are a blood bought son and artist can right now and what you are doing
• 1:48:00
  and where you are, I thank you. Now I'm talking about the worst
• 1:48:04
  thing you could be doing right now. I don't care what it is and
• 1:48:09
  where it is. You'll belong to God in the name of Jesus, and
• 1:48:14
  your story is valuable. And he said that we overcome by the blood of
• 1:48:18
  the Lamb and by the world of our testimony. So I don't care how
• 1:48:21
  dark and how dirty and how nasty your story is. You can overcome.
• 1:48:27
  And there's somebody that will reap from your story. In the name of Jesus,
• 1:48:30
  Father, I thank you that you are blessing this podcast. You are
• 1:48:33
  blessing, Yes, you are blessing Desert Rae. I thank you for a
• 1:48:38
  double portion of the anointance to rest upon this and I pray, Father,
• 1:48:42
  in Jesus' name, that these podcasts will fall into the hands of the right
• 1:48:46
  people. Yes, God, we want viral, Yes we want the world
• 1:48:49
  to see. But let it fall into the right hands that will cause freedom.
• 1:48:55
  Every single episode. Now, God bless them that this podcast never want
• 1:49:00
  for anything, It never left everything. It's already met every bill, Glory
• 1:49:04
  to God, is already paid in the name of Jesus. And before I
• 1:49:09
  take anything from it, I will add more faith to it that God,
• 1:49:12
  you will do it, and you will do it now. And the God.
• 1:49:15
  We love you, Oh my God, we love you. We love
• 1:49:18
  you because you brought us out to It's no ability of our own. It's
• 1:49:23
  yours and your alone, yours alone. We love you, God, We
• 1:49:27
  honor you, We worship you Jesus with everything that we are and everything that
• 1:49:30
  we have in Jesus name Jesus. Hallelujah. Hey man, Hey man,
• 1:49:35
  Glory to God, hallelujah, Praise God, hallelujah. Thank you Jesus,
• 1:49:42
  hallelujah. Hey y'all, thank you for listening to just ask. If you
• 1:49:49
  enjoyed this experience, be sure to like Coming and Rape so others can find
• 1:49:55
  the show. If you'd like to stay connected with me, feel free to
• 1:49:59
  follow me at see Jessica and Smith on all platforms again. I'm your girl,
• 1:50:03
  jess Until next time.