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Symptom Karmic Lesson: Pride · We Are The Same

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Hello everyone, I hope you've had a beautiful week.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: In today's episode, we're going to be talking about how to heal the symptom karmic lesson of pride.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Pride comes in all sizes, shapes, and forms, but we're going to speak specifically on being proud to the point that your ego goes against vulnerability in order to hold on to the safety of egoic illusion.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: The first thing that we need to understand about pride in the sense of being proud is that it stems from fear.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Fear of the unknown.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Fear that your ego will look weak or vulnerable.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Fear that you will be abandoned if you do not pretend that you don't care.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Fear that you will fall behind.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Fear that you will appear stupid, incompetent, and valuable.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's all fear.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: And when your ego has fear like this, it's because it was traumatized at some point to believe that if it's not perfect at all times, if it's not in control, then it will be hurt.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: And the ego does not like to be hurt because then it has to work through things that are painful.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: The second thing that we need to understand about pride is that the dualistic feelings of pride and shame are actually showing the ego and biology working together.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Both pride and shame are influenced by the hormones serotonin and testosterone.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: The more these two chemicals are present, the more pride is felt.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: The less these two chemicals are present, the more shame is felt.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: However, when the brain is developing, the mixture of testosterone and serotonin, plus the societal value systems and feedback that the ego receives, encourage either pride or shame.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: For example, if you live in a country where doing well in academics is incredibly important, your ego is going to feel more shame getting a less than perfect grade than it will feel pride getting a perfect score.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Lastly, on this point, you would think that because males have more testosterone, that they would innately feel more pride.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: However, it has been studied that due to social norms, males are more socially able to display pride, whilst females feel more pride, especially in adolescents.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: This is most likely because females are expected to work harder than males in order to reap the same benefits.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Therefore, when females succeed at something at a young age, more serotonin is released and more pride is felt.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: We see here again biology and the ego working together.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: So how do we learn the symptom karmic lesson of pride?
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Again, we're speaking solely on being proud to the point of 3D detriment.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: For example, when you're in an argument and you refuse to apologize, even though you've realized you're hurting the other person, because it would show weakness of some sort.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: In this case, take a moment and excuse yourself from the argument.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Take a few breaths, understand where your fear is coming from.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Is it because you don't want to quote unquote lose the argument?
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Is it because your feelings would feel invalidated if you apologized?
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: These are dualistic beliefs.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: If I apologize, it means I'm wrong.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: You are not wrong and your feelings are always valid.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: But just because your feelings are valid doesn't mean your ego needs to prove its validity to the other ego.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: In this case, it's about understanding that two things can be valid simultaneously.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Your feelings can be valid and the other ego's feelings can be valid at the same time.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Taking another example, if you're being broken up with and you're hurt but refuse to show you quote-unquote care, the pride stemming from fear is most likely through fear of abandonment, fear of looking weak, fear of seeming affected when you have no control over the situation.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: Again, your feelings are valid and your pain is valid.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: Pride doesn't do anything except manipulate and antagonize the entire situation.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: You are gaslighting yourself.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: You are gaslighting the other ego.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: You are being dishonest with both your own ego and the other.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: And you are doing both egos a disservice by not painting a true picture of what the current situation is.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: Again, take a moment and figure out what your fear is.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: When someone is breaking up with you specifically, they're not doing it out of malice.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: They don't want to hurt your feelings.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: If you've ever broken up with someone, you know this to be true.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Admitting to them or not admitting to them that you're feeling hurt isn't really the antidote, but putting on the front of pride is straight up not admitting to even yourself that you're hurt.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Work through the feelings that you're feeling.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Work through the fear that the pride is stemming from.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself what the worst case scenario would be if you didn't put on the facade of pride.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Your ego may scream at you that it's not safe to not be proud, but in reality, that's its trauma response after having been hurt by so many other egos in the past.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: You're carrying baggage from other experiences and expecting each situation in the future to be the same.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself the room as an adult now to heal the hurt you've been through and not carry these expectations around with you.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because the more you hold on to pride, the more your ego will hurt and be in control.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Pride becomes a fallback trauma response in which your ego will go to it immediately, even at the mere thought that it will be hurt.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then that can lead to other actions such as stonewalling, verbal abuse, rage, gaslighting, and the silent treatment.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: No ego wants to have these trauma responses, so find out what your deep down fear is linked to and go from there.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Until next week, all of my best and highest vibrations to you.