Latest / DidiLawren / The Gamble - Do We Marry For Love, Financial Security Or Out Of Pity?

Transcript

The Gamble - Do We Marry For Love, Financial Security Or Out Of Pity? · DidiLawren

• 0:30
  Hello and welcome back to my channel.
• 0:32
  My name is Lorenzo defect and this is bunted Lawrence area.
• 0:36
  For today's episode, I want to ask the question.
• 0:39
  Do we marry for love? Do we marry out of pity or do we
• 0:45
  marry for Financial Security or financial reasons?
• 0:49
  So have your answers by the site, for those who are married
• 0:53
  for those of us who get married for those.
• 0:55
  We are even thinking. You know, one day I'm going to
• 0:57
  get married. What would be your reason why?
• 1:00
  Would see I do or you will say yes to a person.
• 1:04
  The reason I want to talk about this is because there's a video
• 1:07
  online without going viral your couple.
• 1:11
  This young man proposed to his girlfriend and she accepted.
• 1:15
  It was like family and friends who are presents, kind of a
• 1:19
  sitting room proposal. She reluctantly accepted the
• 1:23
  proposal and the next day, there was a video.
• 1:30
  Video so faced where she returned the ring to the man.
• 1:34
  This has generated a whole lot of conversation and the person I
• 1:38
  posted that video. Give an explanation that this
• 1:42
  goal they've been dating for four years this month Center to
• 1:45
  school, he was paying her bills, he was paying accommodation
• 1:48
  bills, he was literally taking care of her even down to
• 1:52
  appearance. He was the one responsible for
• 1:55
  the upkeep of her family. And according to him, this is
• 1:59
  somebody that Wants to spend the rest of his life with and this
• 2:03
  is the only this is way she was repaying him back for all
• 2:08
  everything that he did for her. So social media was divided half
• 2:14
  of social media. Felt as really the guys, they
• 2:17
  settled women are scum. This is why I don't take care of
• 2:21
  a woman you know. Women do these women, do that.
• 2:25
  If it was a man that did this whole theme, who's everybody on
• 2:28
  social media will be talking about About it.
• 2:31
  And then the women on the other hand, they said, well, even if
• 2:34
  you're going to take care of somebody, even if maybe she was
• 2:37
  in love with him, and for some reason, she fell out of love,
• 2:41
  but she couldn't. Maybe she wouldn't told him, but
• 2:44
  he felt a ring will fix whatever thin or whatever issue we have.
• 2:51
  You know, how people have children to fix marriages, that
• 2:57
  boy, you know. So some of those things that
• 3:00
  maybe She was fighting some problems that she didn't like
• 3:04
  and he felt proposing to how we fix that problem.
• 3:07
  Maybe he took her by surprise and she had to accept the
• 3:10
  proposal just to, you know, save face.
• 3:13
  But she talks about it over the night and decided to return the
• 3:15
  ring. So it was kind of a two-sided
• 3:18
  conversation, the men. On the other hand, the paint
• 3:21
  they said you know this is how women behave especially those
• 3:25
  ones that you try to, you know, bring them to your level or Or
• 3:30
  even raise them. Some anyway the guys were angry.
• 3:35
  One guy said, listen, I married my wife out of pity because
• 3:41
  according to him when they were dating, she had over, she
• 3:44
  terminated about five pregnancies and because of that
• 3:49
  he felt compelled to marry her. He felt she has all these things
• 3:56
  for him and it would be if she like Lay a curse on him.
• 4:02
  That's the course will definitely follow him so because
• 4:05
  he didn't want all the. He didn't want to rule his life
• 4:08
  according to you, because he didn't want to ruin his life.
• 4:11
  He had to marry her, though. He said they are happy.
• 4:15
  She had children for him now and they're happy family, but he
• 4:20
  always felt he could have done better.
• 4:23
  He also cited another example of a friend of his who got married
• 4:28
  to his wife just because Has, he did virgin her.
• 4:31
  He said they were dating and he didn't even know.
• 4:34
  She was a virgin until, you know.
• 4:36
  He kind of fell for her. The started going out and when
• 4:42
  they wanted to do, you do realize that she was a virgin
• 4:45
  and after then he she was kind of following him around
• 4:50
  everywhere, whatever? That was the explanation you
• 4:52
  gave. But when he came to marriage, he
• 4:55
  made the decision to marry her because obviously, he felt he
• 4:59
  can trust this. Ever since he married her
• 5:01
  because of the trust that he had for her because he knows that,
• 5:05
  even if he goes out travel out for the next three years, she's
• 5:09
  going to wait for him, but according to him, the wife is
• 5:14
  not his back. So he goes out there to get his
• 5:18
  pic. Like do everything you wants to
• 5:21
  do with its high cheek. Old girlfriend for comes back
• 5:25
  home to his wife. The ladies are not saying, this
• 5:29
  is why we say, no, this is why the lady in question is saying,
• 5:33
  I don't want to get married to you, because you are not my spec
• 5:37
  or because yes, you're good for relationship, but husband
• 5:42
  material. Yeah, nothing why I had a
• 5:46
  husband material? This is what I want to get
• 5:48
  married to you. And from the look of the video,
• 5:51
  you could tell that maybe the boy is doing something that she
• 5:54
  is not in support of, because there are very young couple.
• 5:58
  I'll for him to have sent us to school pay her bills and did all
• 6:01
  those things. I think he must be doing
• 6:04
  something that is not legitimate.
• 6:07
  I mean, we all know Yahoo. So maybe I I am just thinking
• 6:14
  out loud. Maybe this is what he was doing
• 6:17
  and she saw that unfilled. This is not somebody I want to
• 6:20
  spend the rest of, yes, you're doing all these things.
• 6:22
  I appreciate you, but this is not somebody.
• 6:25
  I want to spend the rest of my life with With this is not the
• 6:28
  career path. I want my children to emulate.
• 6:31
  This is not somebody, I'm proud of to.
• 6:34
  Yes, I've gone to school or medication now.
• 6:38
  But introducing somebody or introducing him to, you know, My
• 6:43
  Friends Ask paw. This is my husband looking what
• 6:46
  does your husband do? And you can't even come up with
• 6:50
  job title for your husband. I think for women, we kind of
• 6:53
  consider a whole lot of things before saying yes to Amman and
• 6:57
  on Especially if we are not on that pressure, especially if we
• 7:01
  are not kind of we're not, you know, if she was pregnant that
• 7:06
  would have been a different case.
• 7:07
  We might say, okay, she's accepting that just because
• 7:10
  she's pregnant. But if a woman that is thinking
• 7:14
  with a hate, completes be logical that woman will make
• 7:19
  better choice for ourself and there's nothing wrong with that.
• 7:23
  So the question now is do we marry for love?
• 7:27
  Do we marry For Financial Security, do we marry for pity,
• 7:32
  whether your PC in this person for whatever reason or do we
• 7:37
  marry for companionship? Do we marry for partnership?
• 7:41
  I think this is something that is lost in this whole thing
• 7:45
  because even if you're marrying somebody that you love that
• 7:48
  person, might not, you might not be compatible with that versus
• 7:53
  you wake up one day, I'll be like, what am I, what am I will?
• 7:56
  Do you need this? Your relationship or marriage or
• 7:59
  whatever it is or if you marry somebody out of Financial
• 8:04
  Security one day you might be coming dependence and you
• 8:08
  realize hang on a minute. This is not what I signed up for
• 8:13
  right now. I can take care of myself.
• 8:15
  So why am I even in this relationship, in this case of
• 8:18
  this lady, she might be dating the sky.
• 8:21
  She was in love with him when they started their relationship
• 8:24
  and eventually it became Kind of financial dependence because he
• 8:29
  was not paying her school fees and taking care of our parents
• 8:33
  at some points. You not stop pitying him.
• 8:36
  Because like, I can't leave this relationship because this guy
• 8:39
  has done a lot for me. But at the end of the day, are
• 8:45
  they compatible to ask yourself? Is this somebody that I can
• 8:49
  spend the rest of my life with our core values?
• 8:52
  The same is what we stand for the same.
• 8:56
  Can we align In terms of how to raise our family or household
• 9:02
  Beauty, who can we align? And if you cannot align with
• 9:07
  this person, whether you're marrying, the mouth of Love,
• 9:10
  whether you marrying them out of pity, what are you marrying
• 9:13
  them? Out of financial reasons.
• 9:16
  It is you're always going to have issues.
• 9:18
  I don't think we're going to tell anybody what to do, or how
• 9:21
  to love or who to marry people make their choices.
• 9:25
  Even if at the altar, some Buddy tells you.
• 9:28
  I don't think I want to marry you.
• 9:31
  I don't think that should be. It's going to be painful.
• 9:34
  Yeah, you're going to hurt. It's going to, it's going to be
• 9:38
  painful but it is better to hear.
• 9:40
  It's there. And then I mean they said broken
• 9:43
  engagements is better than a broken marriage.
• 9:46
  It is what it is. Mari, whoever weather for Love
• 9:51
  Without for money, whether 44 BC Mary, if he's going, Work is
• 9:58
  going to walk, there's no rule book.
• 10:00
  There's no like, you know, one set mono.
• 10:03
  People like individuals, do whatever suits you.
• 10:06
  If it's for love Marlon, if it's for money, Mary?
• 10:09
  If it's for PC Mary, you know, live your life.
• 10:13
  As long as you happy with your choices, as long as you're happy
• 10:17
  to face the consequences of your choices live, your life, okay?
• 10:23
  Anyway, just leave me a comment in the comments section and let
• 10:25
  me know what which would you choose.
• 10:27
  Choose, tell me I want to know. Married.
• 10:31
  Single complicated, lets me know your choice.
• 10:36
  So thank you very much for watching.
• 10:37
  Today's episode. Bye bye.