Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #148 Trish Is The Backbone Of The Johns Family

Transcript

#148 Trish Is The Backbone Of The Johns Family · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Matthew today, we are really lucky to sit down with.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: I would say, the head of arguably one of the
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: most influential NRL families at current time.
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: Would you go as far as to say that she
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: is the matriarch? I would took the words right out
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: of her mouth. We are, of course talking about Trish John's.
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: She is a mother, a stretch shooter. Yes, she is
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: married to Mattie John's, but I reckon he's been in
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: the spotlight for long enough, and some of the kids,
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: Jack and Cooper.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: She definitely deserves her own show. Yes, definitely.
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: We're going to put her up on that pedestal where
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: she belongs, and we dive into her family life.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: What it's like navigating her kids coming back to the
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: nest in their late twenties.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: Ah not now sounds like an absolute night.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: But we also get into when Trish was diagnosed with
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: breast cancer.
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: She opens up about finding the lump, going through surgery
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: without telling the boys at first, and why she's so
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: passionate about women getting checked early.
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: Should we get into it, Let's do it.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: Welcome back to two doting dads and one doting mum.
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: I am Maddie jaysh.
• 1:15
  Speaker 5: And and Trish Jones, and.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: it is the bad, and the relatable. Now, Trish, we
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: have to say this line for legal reasons. We don't
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: give any advice. We're not allowed to never will never have.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Times that we have we've got in trouble, so we
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: just don't.
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: Those legal rules do not apply to guests, so you
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: are allowed to give advice and you'll have no legal
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: ramification loophole.
• 1:39
  Speaker 5: I just like to say, you know, don't listen too
• 1:41
  Speaker 5: closely to what I have to say, because you know,
• 1:43
  Speaker 5: my children are still works.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: In progress and they're adults. We start off right at
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: the beginning when you were a young child. Yes, And
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to figure out ash I'm on the fence.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: Do you think she was a good girl or.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: A naughty girl? I would say, my guess is you're
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: well behaved as a child.
• 2:07
  Speaker 5: And what's your guess.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: Maybe I'm trying to get a read on you to parents,
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: and I feel like there was a kind of mischievous
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: streak in you.
• 2:16
  Speaker 5: I think I might give you a little clue. I
• 2:18
  Speaker 5: was the last of seven children, seven seven.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Really holy shit, So they forgot that you existed a
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: little bit.
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: What's the gap in ages between one to seven?
• 2:35
  Speaker 5: All that would be about eighteen years.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: Wow, Jesus eighteen years because that's one of five.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: But not they're very close in the years.
• 2:46
  Speaker 5: All the others were close. And then I was well
• 2:49
  Speaker 5: after thought, yes.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: It is it good or bad? Being one of seven?
• 2:54
  Speaker 5: I loved it? Yeah, I love it, love it to
• 2:56
  Speaker 5: this day.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Yet brothers, sisters.
• 2:58
  Speaker 5: There were two boys. There's only fither thus remaining now
• 3:02
  Speaker 5: and five girls.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: So I imagine if you're one of seven, if you
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: do something wrong, I feel like there's too many kids
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: to really keep a close eye on things. Is that
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: the case?
• 3:15
  Speaker 5: So what are you trying to say?
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: I feel like you could murder someone and your parents
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: would be like, oh, it's not.
• 3:22
  Speaker 5: She would have done that. No, was I was a
• 3:26
  Speaker 5: good girl. I was a very good girl. However, I
• 3:30
  Speaker 5: was very spirited. Spirited, I was spirited. I was the
• 3:34
  Speaker 5: risk taker, and which is generally the youngest child.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: For sure. Definitely the first.
• 3:40
  Speaker 5: Child is very sensible, takes on everyone responsibilities, and the
• 3:43
  Speaker 5: youngest is a little bit more of a free spirit.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: What would you take risks on?
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 3:49
  Speaker 5: Just being whereas you know, for instance, coming on this podcast,
• 3:55
  Speaker 5: you know, just doing something like you know, my my
• 3:57
  Speaker 5: siblings were quite.
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: Reserved, A sensible parent wouldn't accept their invitation. And you
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: lived near a petrol station.
• 4:07
  Speaker 5: I lived right now. I grew up right next door
• 4:09
  Speaker 5: to a petrol station all my life, yes, your whole child, childhood.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Yes. And was this in Newcastle?
• 4:15
  Speaker 5: In Newcastle?
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 4:17
  Speaker 5: Yeah right, yeah, rod at the bottom of town. So
• 4:20
  Speaker 5: you know every Friday and Saturday night, you know, you're
• 4:22
  Speaker 5: usually woken up to a car accident at the intersection.
• 4:24
  Speaker 5: Everyone get out, everyone, okay, all right?
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So what's it like having a petrol stations You're
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: going to backyard?
• 4:32
  Speaker 5: Well, good on saturda afternoons and Sundays when they weren't open,
• 4:36
  Speaker 5: because that's when I'd be able to put my railer
• 4:38
  Speaker 5: skates on and go.
• 4:39
  Speaker 6: Yeah too, yeah, playground and where.
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: It was open. I thought this was like a joke,
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: But the people pumping gas.
• 4:52
  Speaker 5: The hot cheeks pumping gas in short shorts and bikini tops.
• 4:55
  Speaker 5: Run me through that common this is the seventies. Yeah,
• 5:01
  Speaker 5: I kind of feel like it was. Yeah, images you
• 5:04
  Speaker 5: see you the seventies girls in short short.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought it was a car wash though.
• 5:09
  Speaker 5: You no, they were pumping gas.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so what was your take on that?
• 5:15
  Speaker 5: As a young girl, I thought it was amazing. I
• 5:17
  Speaker 5: would sit up in the mulberry tree, eating the mulberries
• 5:20
  Speaker 5: and just waving at the girls, you know, thinking when
• 5:23
  Speaker 5: I grow up, that's going to be me.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: And did that dream come true?
• 5:27
  Speaker 5: Not quite get yourself, service.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: Mate, Yeah, that's true. It's never too late.
• 5:35
  Speaker 5: Well it probably is.
• 5:36
  Speaker 6: We should started up again, but with boys and girls
• 5:39
  Speaker 6: so we don't get any.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: Flat Oh you know what.
• 5:42
  Speaker 5: Yeah, no, I think a boy pumping gas is there's
• 5:45
  Speaker 5: something in that.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: It's definitely young and young jack down the local BP.
• 5:51
  Speaker 5: Yeah, they were fundraiser, you know, if it doesn't work
• 5:53
  Speaker 5: out for him atleast And so they were working a
• 5:55
  Speaker 5: full like nine to five shift just pumping gas. No,
• 5:58
  Speaker 5: I don't think so. I don't think it was scial hours.
• 6:00
  Speaker 5: I think so. Yeah. Clever all days.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: Very clever. And you met Maddie at quite a young.
• 6:08
  Speaker 5: Age, I think twenties.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: He talks through how you came across.
• 6:15
  Speaker 5: I just started working in a restaurant actually Jessicinish junior
• 6:19
  Speaker 5: and I was saving to go traveling it was I
• 6:21
  Speaker 5: think it was my second shift, and I was put
• 6:24
  Speaker 5: in charge of opening all the bottles of wine because
• 6:26
  Speaker 5: I couldn't open a bottle of wine. I'm very good
• 6:27
  Speaker 5: at opening then and now true Stops came in there.
• 6:32
  Speaker 5: He literally was the first guy that came in, and
• 6:34
  Speaker 5: he was standing beside me at the bar.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: And then actually an old fellow asked me out on
• 6:40
  Speaker 5: his behalf.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: He didn't even do it in person, some old.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: One to do his dirty work, and can you give
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: this note to the lady.
• 6:50
  Speaker 5: Which I had pite decline.
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: How are you proposition?
• 6:53
  Speaker 5: Would you just like to go out to a ball
• 6:55
  Speaker 5: the following evening?
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: You decline? I declined, it's always when you're not looking and.
• 7:00
  Speaker 5: You're not wanting. Yeah. And then anyway, one of the
• 7:03
  Speaker 5: guys I worked with were no, he's actually a really
• 7:05
  Speaker 5: nice guy. I went to school with him. And I went, oh,
• 7:07
  Speaker 5: that's nice for you know, I don't need that in
• 7:09
  Speaker 5: my life right now. Little cow Eyes came up to
• 7:12
  Speaker 5: the bar himself and said, oh, look, i'd really like
• 7:15
  Speaker 5: you to come to this ball with me. And I said,
• 7:19
  Speaker 5: I don't know you, you don't know me, I said, you know.
• 7:21
  Speaker 5: But then by this stage and it's tomorrow night. So
• 7:23
  Speaker 5: I'm thinking desperate and I'm thinking. I said, so if
• 7:26
  Speaker 5: I go after the dinner, would you mind if I left?
• 7:30
  Speaker 5: And he said, like then, I'm just thinking, oh, just
• 7:33
  Speaker 5: do a favor like this poor guy obviously has no date.
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: And it's quite handsome.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah.
• 7:39
  Speaker 5: He flashed the pearly whites and the cat and the
• 7:42
  Speaker 5: cow eyes and he said, oh no, you can't. It's
• 7:45
  Speaker 5: on the South Stain. Now, the South Stain was a
• 7:49
  Speaker 5: boat that just was moored on the harbor as an
• 7:53
  Speaker 5: events and then we went out and dat's night Away actually.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: On the that doesn't move on the bar the nightclub.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, did you think about making an early exit after.
• 8:05
  Speaker 5: A couple of drinks? I was, holy fun.
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: Then your chrialdbirth story is a unique one, and this
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: is this is jack because it was the same time
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: as a very special event that is considered by some
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: as being one of the most important in the history
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: of sport in Australia.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: It's up there. It's not for me because I'm a
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: manly fan and we're the ones who got beat right. Yeah,
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: but memorable for you have memorable. My parents were at that.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Grandfather Yeah, yeah, and I've never hear the end of it.
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: Timing wise, just so happened that the grandfather of coincided
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: with when you would do to give birth?
• 8:37
  Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, just I was like a week out and
• 8:42
  Speaker 5: each game like you know, getting through the semis and
• 8:45
  Speaker 5: you know thinking, oh, to the point where and do
• 8:48
  Speaker 5: not take this advice for people like I sort of
• 8:51
  Speaker 5: spoke to my obstution. I said, what if I go
• 8:54
  Speaker 5: into labor? And he said, Trisha, a drink alcohol, like,
• 9:02
  Speaker 5: have a beer, have a beer to go close chocolate down.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: Because obviously I'm not a doctor, like slug a cigar
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: as well?
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: Really yeah wow?
• 9:20
  Speaker 5: Yeah, so I was allowed to go and I have
• 9:22
  Speaker 5: them a bit.
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: And how how are you feeling when Newcastle is getting
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: closer and closer to that big event?
• 9:30
  Speaker 5: I was focusing on having a baby. Everyone was focusing
• 9:32
  Speaker 5: on winning your priorities.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: And was Jack born the day of.
• 9:39
  Speaker 5: A week out?
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: A week out?
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: A week?
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 9:42
  Speaker 5: So Mad had finally come home. Yeah right, Okay, there's
• 9:46
  Speaker 5: been a few phone calls.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: Right, okay, so what you mean my phone calls.
• 9:51
  Speaker 5: It's time to come home now?
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: Is there any truth to the comment that I think
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: Mad he said this that you tried to buy him
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: from entering the hospital.
• 10:05
  Speaker 5: That is true. That okay. So I had Jack the Wednesday,
• 10:10
  Speaker 5: I think, went into labor the Tuesday. Had Jack the Wednesday,
• 10:16
  Speaker 5: Thursday or lovely Friday. Matt thought that he should go
• 10:18
  Speaker 5: and with the baby's head because you haven't been drinking
• 10:20
  Speaker 5: enough after his celebrations, so he thought he deserved this.
• 10:24
  Speaker 5: I went, okay, took my car into town. Was meant
• 10:29
  Speaker 5: to not really, he was meant to drop at home
• 10:35
  Speaker 5: or do something. Anyway, he didn't. He left it in town,
• 10:39
  Speaker 5: which I was filthy about.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: Smart.
• 10:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah. Came home to the hospital about nine o'clock and
• 10:46
  Speaker 5: they close up the hospital, and so he's ringing on
• 10:49
  Speaker 5: the bell and I'm saying to the nurses, don't let
• 10:51
  Speaker 5: him in, don't let him. Oh no, he's all right,
• 10:54
  Speaker 5: said no, he's not, like, don't let him in. I
• 10:57
  Speaker 5: hate him. They did not only that, then he orders
• 11:05
  Speaker 5: pizza and has it delivered to the hospital.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: Very good.
• 11:09
  Speaker 5: Oh it kills me. So then the next.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: Morning were you hungry?
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: Though?
• 11:12
  Speaker 5: At least nor was the baby. So then he's snoring
• 11:17
  Speaker 5: and you.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Know, oh fuck, just passed out. Oh my goodness.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: Though, yes, yes, we'll have words with them.
• 11:31
  Speaker 5: What's your take on wedding your head? Since you did
• 11:34
  Speaker 5: so much work.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: I think I went the head for either of mine.
• 11:39
  Speaker 5: Oh, ash, now you're getting major brownie.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well I'm going to run with that. Then let's
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: stick to that.
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: I mean, Maria first, I was pretty good. Lola our second.
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: I was doing a show called Dancing with the Stars,
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: and so a couple of days after Lola was born,
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: I then left to go dance with a young twenty
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: years old Where's daddy dancing?
• 12:01
  Speaker 5: So I was pretty sure Laura would have been thrilled.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah.
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: It didn't help when I came home and showed at
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: the footage of me doing like the rumba a young
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: dancer called Ruby. So I was, but I wasn't drinking.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: Oh that's good, that's.
• 12:17
  Speaker 5: Well, and officially you're working exactly, yeah, exactly.
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I was providing for the family.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Did you have to sit in a chair or do
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: you have like one of those what sort of hospital
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: is that?
• 12:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it was a good one.
• 12:34
  Speaker 6: Let him in after a couple let me order pizzas,
• 12:36
  Speaker 6: and then he just snore in his head off.
• 12:38
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: Amazing.
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: When you compare your two boys, they're totally different. Yeah,
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: because Marley and Lola are very different in what ways
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: A Cooper and Jack different.
• 12:49
  Speaker 5: Every way, the way they hold themselves, their moral compass.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: Who was the easier one?
• 12:59
  Speaker 5: Interesting enough, they were just different. I wouldn't say ones easier,
• 13:04
  Speaker 5: They're just different, different, different reasons. I think that I
• 13:09
  Speaker 5: worried less about Jack because I knew he was more responsible.
• 13:14
  Speaker 5: But again, I go back to that family order thing.
• 13:17
  Speaker 5: He's the eldest. He takes on all the responsibility too much.
• 13:20
  Speaker 5: You know, sometimes he gets weighted down by worrying about others,
• 13:25
  Speaker 5: whereas Cooper's not worrying about anyone.
• 13:27
  Speaker 6: Get you, Honestly, I picked that up when I'm standing
• 13:30
  Speaker 6: in front of both of them and talking about I
• 13:32
  Speaker 6: get exactly that where it's like Jack is he just
• 13:36
  Speaker 6: holds himself way more like he's the responsible.
• 13:39
  Speaker 5: Absolutely, And you know, the minutes he got his driver's license,
• 13:44
  Speaker 5: I think the first Friday night after that, I had
• 13:47
  Speaker 5: gone to lunch with some girlfriends. He drove found me
• 13:51
  Speaker 5: at my girlfriend's at midnight. Now, my dad, I think
• 13:54
  Speaker 5: it's time to come home Nowack.
• 14:00
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, picking you that's actually.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: A very big gentleman.
• 14:06
  Speaker 5: It is such a gentleman.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, sweet vibes, Yeah for sure.
• 14:11
  Speaker 6: Yeah, what about when they were toddlers?
• 14:14
  Speaker 5: Interesting because and I don't know if you guys have
• 14:17
  Speaker 5: ever found this. Have you ever found with your children,
• 14:19
  Speaker 5: particularly if they're quite different, They're never naughty together. They're
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: always naughty at different times. It's sort of almost some
• 14:27
  Speaker 5: sort of a thing that happens. Yeah, so that parents
• 14:30
  Speaker 5: don't completely lose their minds. Yeah, one of them is
• 14:33
  Speaker 5: naughty or doing the wrong thing and the other one's good,
• 14:36
  Speaker 5: and then they'll flip. So there were just different times,
• 14:41
  Speaker 5: Like Jack was a really hard like didn't sleep, like
• 14:45
  Speaker 5: was on the go, and then I had a twenty
• 14:49
  Speaker 5: two months Cooper came along and he was this peaceful
• 14:52
  Speaker 5: angel that slept, just slept and ate and slept in
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: eight oh. It's like everyone went, oh, you deserve this
• 14:58
  Speaker 5: and thank you.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 15:00
  Speaker 5: Different, I feel like there's a different. But however, when
• 15:05
  Speaker 5: we moved to England, something happened. I don't know what
• 15:07
  Speaker 5: it was. Cooper turned into this demon child.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: He just.
• 15:12
  Speaker 5: He'd still sleep, but he just this hive of activity.
• 15:15
  Speaker 5: He just did not stop. And it took me and
• 15:20
  Speaker 5: I couldn't keep him in a pram. I'd have fifteen
• 15:23
  Speaker 5: minutes with him in a pram to run in and
• 15:25
  Speaker 5: do what I had to do and get back before
• 15:27
  Speaker 5: he was literally climbing out of it. Yeah, and oh,
• 15:32
  Speaker 5: just out of control. He was out of control. And
• 15:37
  Speaker 5: then Jack became this really good child because I think
• 15:39
  Speaker 5: he looked at him like, oh, he's really naughty. I
• 15:41
  Speaker 5: can't do this to her. And that just seems to
• 15:46
  Speaker 5: happen all the way through. But with Cooper and that behavior,
• 15:49
  Speaker 5: and it wasn't until probably another year later I worked
• 15:54
  Speaker 5: it out. And that was thankfully due to a girl
• 15:56
  Speaker 5: sort of must have noticed his behavior because he was
• 15:58
  Speaker 5: literally out of control, control like you.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: Want to put him on a lead, out of control
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: to lead like a runner.
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: Yes, yeah, never lost him, but yeah, just always doing
• 16:08
  Speaker 5: the wrong thing. She recommended a book called fed Up
• 16:11
  Speaker 5: by Sue Dengate, And I do recommend if anyone's sort
• 16:16
  Speaker 5: of looking at their child, going this isn't quite normal, honestly,
• 16:22
  Speaker 5: and Cooper. So Cooper wouldn't have one apple, he'd have
• 16:25
  Speaker 5: three after the other. Now you would think that's a
• 16:30
  Speaker 5: good thing, right.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: Apple.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: Three apples would keep away?
• 16:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And interestingly enough, retrospectively, I realize another time i'd
• 16:42
  Speaker 5: caught him sucking the toothpaste out.
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: Of the chain.
• 16:45
  Speaker 5: Now contained in both of those is like a naturally
• 16:50
  Speaker 5: forming chemical solicylates. Okay, and that's what he had a
• 16:54
  Speaker 5: food sensitivity.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: Too, but just set him off.
• 16:57
  Speaker 5: So three days I just eliminated everything.
• 16:59
  Speaker 6: I did, a whole lose even I.
• 17:02
  Speaker 5: Think even strawberries may have a lesser amount. I think
• 17:05
  Speaker 5: it's toothpasts.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: I've never heard.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: I've never heard of that.
• 17:09
  Speaker 5: It's crazy what happened. So like I just what I did.
• 17:13
  Speaker 5: I've got to go in hard here because ode my
• 17:15
  Speaker 5: next thing was a psychiatrist him or may, I don't know.
• 17:18
  Speaker 5: I just eliminated his diet altogether. I got rid of
• 17:21
  Speaker 5: everything in the cupboard, colorings. I wasn't too worried about
• 17:24
  Speaker 5: sugar as much, but anything colored. And then what I
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: read about with the soliclates and another there's another thing
• 17:30
  Speaker 5: called amines that some kids can have sensitivity to, which
• 17:34
  Speaker 5: is containing bananas and processed meats. Okay, yeah, so I
• 17:37
  Speaker 5: just eliminated everything three days, different child, different child, just compose,
• 17:45
  Speaker 5: very clever, Yeah, crazy, no, fortunately, honestly. Okay, So I
• 17:50
  Speaker 5: don't know how, don't much.
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: But what's his excuse now though, Yeah, what's happenings?
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: Back on the apple? If I ever seen an apple,
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: I'm going to yes, all tooth taste just suck.
• 18:02
  Speaker 6: Ah wow, So just just can't like what's what were
• 18:10
  Speaker 6: the different character characteristics?
• 18:12
  Speaker 5: Just hyperactivity? Hyper activity that just stopped. He just became
• 18:16
  Speaker 5: this calm a time.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: My kid loves apples.
• 18:19
  Speaker 5: You're in trouble, yes, but are they hyperactive?
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: Curious?
• 18:24
  Speaker 5: It might be something to just try.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: Maybe I'll get cut them off the apples.
• 18:30
  Speaker 5: Did I replace it with something else?
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: Did he ever get apple with your rolls?
• 18:34
  Speaker 5: We just forgot about it and then he knew as
• 18:36
  Speaker 5: he grew up people not allowed to have apples school.
• 18:40
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 18:41
  Speaker 5: I think sometimes I let him have a red apple
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: just to see if that did anything, and I think
• 18:45
  Speaker 5: it was okay, but it was particularly green.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: That's the thing in the case.
• 18:50
  Speaker 6: An apple a day keeps the doctor, not in his
• 18:53
  Speaker 6: case the day he is going to bring the doctor straight.
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: Whoever, I think of parenting, Yes, Marley and Lawla are
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: four and five at the moment. Ash's kids a similar age.
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: I can't imagine what it would be like not parenting
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: really young kids. And I always find it interesting talking
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: to parents who have older children of what we have
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: waiting for us in the years to come. When you
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: look at all the years, the twenty odd years that
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: you've been a parent, Now what phase was the easiest
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: and what phase was the hardest.
• 19:28
  Speaker 5: I don't know. At the moment, it's pretty bloody hard
• 19:31
  Speaker 5: that we're all living together, working together.
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: Because let's talk about the fact that I don't know
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: if this is good news or bad news, but you've
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: welcomed the boys back home after they moved out, Yes.
• 19:43
  Speaker 5: After they both lived in separate cities for five years.
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: He came back first.
• 19:50
  Speaker 5: Jack came back first, and then went again, and then
• 19:53
  Speaker 5: Cooper came back, which meant he got the good room,
• 19:56
  Speaker 5: which is a pretty dirty about which was Jack Solthen
• 20:00
  Speaker 5: and Jack came back.
• 20:00
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: What's that like as a parent having the kids back
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: in the nest?
• 20:05
  Speaker 5: Look, I thought I'd love it, you know, being the
• 20:10
  Speaker 5: good Italian mother, thinking, oh, you know, they can stay forever,
• 20:13
  Speaker 5: you know, bring the family, bring everyone. However, they bring
• 20:19
  Speaker 5: their own rules back with them that they think that
• 20:22
  Speaker 5: they're now entitled to, and you know they say, no,
• 20:27
  Speaker 5: it's not your house, Trish, it's our house.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: It's not your house.
• 20:33
  Speaker 5: It's our house. You know, my house not your houns.
• 20:37
  Speaker 5: So you know, you try and walk this careful balance
• 20:40
  Speaker 5: of you get a tarryanism, but you know you just
• 20:43
  Speaker 5: want to say, you know what, it's my.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: House, it's my rules. You mentioned Jack came back twice.
• 20:49
  Speaker 6: Yes, Now, my mum had a rule where if we
• 20:52
  Speaker 6: left and came back and left again, that means we'd
• 20:55
  Speaker 6: left for the final time.
• 20:56
  Speaker 5: Obviously they didn't leave by choice of football. Yeah, they left.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: I don't think my mum would stand by that. Is
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: that why you accepted them back?
• 21:04
  Speaker 5: Of course?
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: Okay? And would you have them back every time? Or
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: do you think there's a there's a line? Yeah?
• 21:11
  Speaker 5: No, come on, I think i'd have them back every time.
• 21:14
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: Have they got any bad habits now that they're living
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: with you.
• 21:22
  Speaker 5: Cooper is an absolute pig. I see that absolute pig
• 21:27
  Speaker 5: his clothes like. Cooper was this meticulous child who in
• 21:34
  Speaker 5: the car on the way home from school he'd be
• 21:35
  Speaker 5: doing his homework. So that was done like it was
• 21:38
  Speaker 5: O c D. It was OCD as a child. Well,
• 21:41
  Speaker 5: he lost that somewhere in Melbourne.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: I don't he probably picked up the apples again, Oh,
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: go on with it.
• 21:47
  Speaker 5: So he would tidy his room and close the door
• 21:50
  Speaker 5: so no one would go in as a child, so
• 21:52
  Speaker 5: no one would go in and mess it up. Okay,
• 21:56
  Speaker 5: now you close the door because it's such a mess
• 21:58
  Speaker 5: you don't want anyone to see it. I know what happened.
• 22:02
  Speaker 5: Let go of that.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: Oc. The human brain is crazy. Somewhere along the way
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: he was like, yeah, I give up.
• 22:10
  Speaker 5: It's not clean. Nothing bad happens, so you know it's okay.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: As apparents older boys then, because the boy's in their
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: late twenties now.
• 22:18
  Speaker 5: About twenty six and twenty seven.
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, can you enforce rules upon them?
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: How does that go?
• 22:23
  Speaker 5: It's tough.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: Can you ground them?
• 22:27
  Speaker 6: No?
• 22:28
  Speaker 5: No, no, I can't ground I tried. What if I tried?
• 22:32
  Speaker 5: I've tried. I tried not cooking for a while.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: How did that go?
• 22:37
  Speaker 5: I liked it?
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: I liked a lot. Everyone was starting, Oh no, it's.
• 22:42
  Speaker 5: Uber delivery is constant.
• 22:44
  Speaker 6: Yeah, it's hard to take their electronics away from that.
• 22:49
  Speaker 6: You don't want to take the electronics. You don't want
• 22:51
  Speaker 6: to check the history. You don't know what's on there.
• 22:52
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't want to know.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: I think you should try a ground.
• 22:56
  Speaker 5: I mean I crack it every now and again.
• 22:57
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I know with my mom, Like there's certain points
• 23:00
  Speaker 6: where it's like, okay, I can't push it any further.
• 23:04
  Speaker 6: Do they respect it when you go when you cross that?
• 23:07
  Speaker 5: Yes, they know, they know.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and who's more receptive to that? Jack or Cooper both?
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: Actually okay?
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah yeah. Cooper even as a young fellow, like always
• 23:17
  Speaker 5: knew he push push, push, push and then but ok yeah,
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: whereas Jack woodsn't pushing those boundaries.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, does Jack have any bad habits?
• 23:26
  Speaker 5: He could be a little tidier, but you know, but
• 23:30
  Speaker 5: I have seen a vast improvement.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's okay.
• 23:34
  Speaker 5: And I think that's more to do with his.
• 23:35
  Speaker 6: Girlfriend, right, and the girlfriend's allowed to stay over or
• 23:39
  Speaker 6: they've got to stay okay.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I understand. The dynamics of.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: I'm going to have three daughters now we are third
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: is going to.
• 23:48
  Speaker 6: Be a girl.
• 23:48
  Speaker 5: Oh wow, congratulations, you know, thank you very much. Did
• 23:51
  Speaker 5: you know with the others as well?
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: No, that was surprised at birth, But I said to Laura,
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: we've got to find out. So I just want to
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: I just want to know. I did want to have
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: a boy, but same time, I'm also happy to have
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: three girls.
• 24:03
  Speaker 5: It's lovely.
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: You're on the other end of the spectrumhere, you've got
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: two boys. Did you want to have girls? Were you
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: happy to have two boys?
• 24:09
  Speaker 5: Couldn't bother me? All I wanted was a healthy child. Yeah,
• 24:13
  Speaker 5: I was well aware of what's involved in having a child.
• 24:17
  Speaker 5: Do you know what I mean? As in having a
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: baby and everything that has to go right to you know,
• 24:21
  Speaker 5: get a healthy child.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: Is it hard being in a household where you've got
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: a lot of testosterone?
• 24:27
  Speaker 5: Very hard?
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: How do you care?
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: Very hard?
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: How do you keep your identity with so much testosterone
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: pumping through those walls.
• 24:34
  Speaker 5: I spend a lot of time away from them. Yeah, yeah,
• 24:39
  Speaker 5: I spent a lot of time in my room. That's
• 24:41
  Speaker 5: my little oasis, and it's like, don't come leave me,
• 24:46
  Speaker 5: leave me. And I hang out with my girlfriends a lot.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 24:49
  Speaker 5: And funnily enough, I have a lot of girlfriends who
• 24:51
  Speaker 5: have a lot of boys as well.
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: So they you there.
• 24:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah, neighbor across the road has four boys.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: Wow, you're escaping them together?
• 24:58
  Speaker 5: Yes, yes, yes.
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: I think about how protective I am of my kids,
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: and I think it's got to be so tough like
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: sport in Australia and especially coming from a pedigree with
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: the surname John's, you know, there's such high expectation. What's
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: it like as a mum with your two boys playing
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: professional sport, playing NRL.
• 25:18
  Speaker 5: Well they did, yet they're both retired now.
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: Yet how is it trying to protect them when there's
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: so much criticism every player receives it.
• 25:26
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you just have to ignore it, like really, actually,
• 25:29
  Speaker 5: there's no other way. I mean, you're not going to
• 25:30
  Speaker 5: fight everyone. And and the thing is a lot of
• 25:33
  Speaker 5: these people that have so much to say, they've got
• 25:36
  Speaker 5: no idea. Yeah, I would have more idea about football
• 25:38
  Speaker 5: than they do, do you know what I mean, which
• 25:40
  Speaker 5: is not saying a lot. So yeah, you've just got
• 25:43
  Speaker 5: to like realize that, you know, you can't fight their
• 25:47
  Speaker 5: battles for them. And they wouldn't want me to either,
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: you know what I mean, They wouldn't want that to Yeah. Yeah,
• 25:52
  Speaker 5: they're very strong willed, independent young men.
• 25:55
  Speaker 6: Yeah, and they see it Like there's the times that
• 25:58
  Speaker 6: I've spent with and they seen very much aware of
• 26:01
  Speaker 6: themselves that they don't they don't they don't.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: Take it on with them too much. But I mean,
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: I don't see that. I don't see you know, behind
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: the closed doors or having them having to deal with that.
• 26:12
  Speaker 6: So yeah, I can't imagine someone, you know, like especially
• 26:18
  Speaker 6: it's like a couch quarterback trying to tell me how
• 26:20
  Speaker 6: ship my kid is, you know what I mean.
• 26:24
  Speaker 5: Actually, last week on the podcast, Cooper went down to
• 26:27
  Speaker 5: and spent a couple of days with Matt's grandparents in
• 26:29
  Speaker 5: Syno It's on the family podcast. He was telling us
• 26:32
  Speaker 5: all the stories. Oh my god, I hadn't even heard
• 26:34
  Speaker 5: some of them. So there was one where Matt's under
• 26:39
  Speaker 5: ten's coach had a little bit of feedback that he
• 26:42
  Speaker 5: shared with Gazz. Matt having talent, but he was just
• 26:45
  Speaker 5: a bit lazy. He was wasn't doing enough, and Gaz
• 26:49
  Speaker 5: jobbed him, what.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: Yes, just straight up it's wild. I was like, oh,
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: imagine you did that these days.
• 27:03
  Speaker 5: I don't think gas took it so well.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: While time just.
• 27:10
  Speaker 6: Getting dropped people pumping gas in beginnings, it sounds like
• 27:14
  Speaker 6: time to be alive.
• 27:15
  Speaker 5: If you ask me, do you know what I actually
• 27:17
  Speaker 5: look at you guys, I think you've got a lot
• 27:18
  Speaker 5: harder really to say that in what way the technological
• 27:27
  Speaker 5: they're parenting our kids that technically social media, all the
• 27:32
  Speaker 5: expectations status even I think that's become a bigger thing.
• 27:38
  Speaker 5: Like there's a lot more pressure on parents to you know,
• 27:42
  Speaker 5: provide more things for their kids, and I think that's
• 27:45
  Speaker 5: crazy instead of just living healthy, single lives.
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: I think comparison culture is definitely more rife now online
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: and kids are a nightmare in that all kids have
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: this insatiable appetite for more and more and more. But
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: you could give I give my daughter a unicorn and
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: she'd be.
• 28:01
  Speaker 5: Like, I want to yeah.
• 28:03
  Speaker 6: And I think it's hard now that for kids to
• 28:06
  Speaker 6: just be kids, right, you know when like when my
• 28:09
  Speaker 6: parents talk about.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: Their childhood and my childhood, it was sort of like,
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: what are you doing?
• 28:14
  Speaker 6: Is like get out in the backyard, mate, get out
• 28:16
  Speaker 6: of here and be a kid, you know, and climb
• 28:18
  Speaker 6: trees and and have fun with your maids.
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: With your maids, you can't it's.
• 28:24
  Speaker 5: Like and get doty. Yeah, it's like French cricket.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: It's hard now.
• 28:28
  Speaker 6: I think that for them really because they've got yeah,
• 28:31
  Speaker 6: there's all these all this technology around them, but it's hard.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: They sort of lose that identity of being a kid
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: a little bit.
• 28:38
  Speaker 6: So I do.
• 28:38
  Speaker 5: I think it's a lot harder for you. I look
• 28:40
  Speaker 5: at parents now and I go, WHOA, how how would
• 28:43
  Speaker 5: I manage those things? And I think that in itself
• 28:45
  Speaker 5: is a full time job.
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: See. At the same time, I look at you in
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: your era of parenting and I'm like, oh God, you
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: didn't have like you didn't have deliveries on your phone,
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: you didn't have this so many parts of parenting that
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: I'm like, you guys had it so much tougher than us.
• 28:58
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I must say, I do look at parents and
• 29:00
  Speaker 5: the kids are sitting there quietly with iPad.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: Ye.
• 29:06
  Speaker 6: There's there's your side is going down, which I had that.
• 29:08
  Speaker 6: Then there's the other side of going How how could
• 29:10
  Speaker 6: they do that to their kids?
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: How could they do that?
• 29:12
  Speaker 6: It's like easy, you just press know we also as well, though,
• 29:19
  Speaker 6: because they don't know how to regulate. So when they're
• 29:23
  Speaker 6: watching something so locked in, we can detach from the emotion.
• 29:26
  Speaker 6: They don't detach from the emotion. They're like I know
• 29:29
  Speaker 6: with my with Oscar, he's just like locked in and
• 29:33
  Speaker 6: whatever the emotions happening on the screen, he is that emotion.
• 29:38
  Speaker 6: What's he into anything?
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: Violent? Really? No?
• 29:46
  Speaker 6: No, Look, he's a Little Mario Kart, really Pokemon, you know, cartoons,
• 29:51
  Speaker 6: all that sort of stuff, And like YouTube is a
• 29:54
  Speaker 6: tricky one because I feel that they can easily be
• 29:59
  Speaker 6: taken on a different p to something the algorithm can.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so actual kids, bro, Yeah, same thing.
• 30:04
  Speaker 6: I feel like every now and then I'll look over
• 30:06
  Speaker 6: and I'll be like, it's probably not the best for
• 30:08
  Speaker 6: him to be watching two kids car crash, car crash,
• 30:11
  Speaker 6: And I had two kids sort of fighting with figurines
• 30:14
  Speaker 6: right before.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you gotta be careful of those. Yeah, but it's
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: just one difference.
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: True. Is it twenty thirteen? You had a diagnosis that
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: is one that no one wants to receive, breast cancer?
• 30:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: Was it twenty thirteen?
• 30:29
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it was the end of twenty twelve actually, and
• 30:32
  Speaker 5: then I had all my treatment in twenty thirteen.
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: So what led up to the moment where you did
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: get diagnosed.
• 30:40
  Speaker 5: I found a little lump, and I'd had a lump before.
• 30:43
  Speaker 5: My mum had had breast cancer, but that was sort
• 30:45
  Speaker 5: of in her older age, and so I do only
• 30:48
  Speaker 5: just turned forty and ish ish And I'm.
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: Going to sound really stupid here, but it is in
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: the shower or how did you discover the lump.
• 30:57
  Speaker 5: It was a really it was just like right.
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: There, like it was like prominent. Yeah.
• 31:03
  Speaker 5: And because I'd had a lot previously, I was meant
• 31:05
  Speaker 5: to go and have scans regularly, but I'd changed doctors,
• 31:09
  Speaker 5: we'd moved, and I just I lost track. It's not
• 31:12
  Speaker 5: critical lost, I lost track, lost track of time. Thought
• 31:15
  Speaker 5: I was sort of, oh no, I'm still you know,
• 31:19
  Speaker 5: within the time to go and have this scan. And
• 31:21
  Speaker 5: then and I just felt this little like like they
• 31:23
  Speaker 5: describe it a.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: Little p yeah, right, that's small.
• 31:27
  Speaker 5: And then but wait for the story. This is and
• 31:29
  Speaker 5: this is why I would say to people and don't wait.
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: I mean they have mammograms and things for people at fifty.
• 31:38
  Speaker 5: Go when you're younger. Yeah, okay, go when you're younger.
• 31:42
  Speaker 5: Just ask your doctor to send you for an ultrasound younger,
• 31:47
  Speaker 5: because all you've got is if you can get in
• 31:49
  Speaker 5: early and preventative, like you don't want it spreading.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll preface this with that is advice you should take.
• 31:56
  Speaker 5: It is absolutely advice you should.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: That's really good too. Like I think like the message is.
• 32:01
  Speaker 5: I don't think you're too young for sure.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So did you your gut before you got those results.
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: What were you thinking it was going to be.
• 32:09
  Speaker 5: So I went to the doctor and I said, oh,
• 32:11
  Speaker 5: I've got this little lump. He went, oh, no, that's
• 32:12
  Speaker 5: my thing, he said, but you were overdue for your scan.
• 32:16
  Speaker 5: I went, okay, cool, So off I go, just you know,
• 32:19
  Speaker 5: ticking the boxes, thinking yeah, And they did the mammogram nothing.
• 32:25
  Speaker 5: I should have been alerted when they called a doctrine
• 32:29
  Speaker 5: the ultrasound thing, yeah, I still didn't really like.
• 32:33
  Speaker 6: Yeah, unless you really experienced in doing that all the time,
• 32:35
  Speaker 6: you're not really sure really.
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 32:38
  Speaker 6: So and.
• 32:40
  Speaker 5: They came in. No one said anything though, like they
• 32:43
  Speaker 5: just got someone else in, and I was like, all right,
• 32:45
  Speaker 5: And then that little lump that I felt wasn't anything. Look,
• 32:49
  Speaker 5: and this is why I say, go and have an ultrasound,
• 32:53
  Speaker 5: despite what your doctor will say. You have to take
• 32:55
  Speaker 5: your own health into your own hands. They'd have never
• 32:57
  Speaker 5: found my lump without an ultrasound. I couldn't have felt it.
• 33:00
  Speaker 5: Wow behind the nipple, yeah, oh wow, question. Yeah, the
• 33:04
  Speaker 5: p was nothing. And and my surgeon actually still to
• 33:07
  Speaker 5: this day said, I said, well, what was that was that?
• 33:09
  Speaker 5: Like a little lymph no that you know, triggered by
• 33:13
  Speaker 5: the lump and he goes he said, I don't know,
• 33:15
  Speaker 5: he said, but no, it's nothing. And but after I
• 33:18
  Speaker 5: had the lump removed, it went so to me, it's
• 33:22
  Speaker 5: it was I like to think that it's my my
• 33:24
  Speaker 5: family who's passed looking out for me.
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: Actually I just got goosebumps.
• 33:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah that's what I mean.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Wow, it's crazy, like when you're here.
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: It wasn't for it wasn't for the hind thing, then
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: you never would have found that was really working. Yeah,
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: and so when you when the doctor comes in, what
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: do they what do they say to you? How is
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: that news delivered?
• 33:42
  Speaker 5: Well, actually I got mine over the phone because he
• 33:48
  Speaker 5: gp yeah, anyway, but I knew a surgeon, so I
• 33:51
  Speaker 5: hadn't really made an I'd spoken to MP and he said,
• 33:54
  Speaker 5: I'll just bring you scans in and I'll have a
• 33:55
  Speaker 5: look with This is before anyone had said anything to me.
• 33:58
  Speaker 5: And and I was on the way to that appointment
• 34:01
  Speaker 5: when the doctor Ray said are you going to that appointment?
• 34:04
  Speaker 5: I said, oh, yeah, I'm on my way now, thinking
• 34:06
  Speaker 5: I'm just again being very thorough. He went, yeah, you
• 34:09
  Speaker 5: need to go. It is cat threats, which wasn't great.
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: As I was driving as blunt as that.
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I suppose they kind of got to be right.
• 34:18
  Speaker 5: Well, yeah, I mean, I I feel maybe he thought that,
• 34:22
  Speaker 5: maybe I thought it was something, but I didn't because
• 34:25
  Speaker 5: I'd made this appointment to go and see the session.
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: What does it feel like hearing those words?
• 34:29
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it was more than I would have thought that.
• 34:33
  Speaker 5: How I reacted, Yeah, I just yeah, burst into tears. Yeah.
• 34:37
  Speaker 5: And I was in the car on my own.
• 34:38
  Speaker 6: So, yeah, the conversation with your family around the news
• 34:43
  Speaker 6: you got, how did that go down?
• 34:46
  Speaker 5: I rang that straight away and he said to me
• 34:47
  Speaker 5: to come. I said, look, no, like this is just
• 34:50
  Speaker 5: meeting anyway, just no bit. And then I didn't tell anyone.
• 34:54
  Speaker 5: I didn't tell anyone for ages. Why. I just didn't
• 34:58
  Speaker 5: feel the need to. I didn't, and I we didn't
• 35:03
  Speaker 5: tell the boys. They were only quite young at the time,
• 35:06
  Speaker 5: like Coop might have been twelve, I might have been fifteenth. Ye.
• 35:12
  Speaker 5: So I went in for the first surgery, and then
• 35:14
  Speaker 5: I had to go back in for another one. And
• 35:16
  Speaker 5: it was after the second surgery Matt told the boys,
• 35:19
  Speaker 5: which I hadn't consented to, but he felt that they
• 35:23
  Speaker 5: needed to know when they got home that they had
• 35:25
  Speaker 5: to be on sort of best behavior.
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: And how did they respond to the news with yourself
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: when you came back home.
• 35:34
  Speaker 5: Very interesting. Cooper was really frightened. He was just frightened.
• 35:39
  Speaker 5: He was just frightened. He is like, you know, you're
• 35:40
  Speaker 5: going to die. What's going on?
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 35:42
  Speaker 5: I said no, no, no, do treatment, you know, but
• 35:45
  Speaker 5: it's going to be a bit of a you know,
• 35:46
  Speaker 5: a bit of a swell. And Jack never said anything,
• 35:49
  Speaker 5: and he just kind of got a little angry, a
• 35:53
  Speaker 5: little angry. True, different reactions which you at the kind
• 35:56
  Speaker 5: of situation just a bit inconvenient and that's its relative
• 36:02
  Speaker 5: to the age. Yeah, yeah, and that's quite normal sort
• 36:06
  Speaker 5: of reaction.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: And so there after you have that initial surgery, do
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: they tell you all your success right here of you know,
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: beating this cancer is X amount? And how much information
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: do they give you about that?
• 36:18
  Speaker 5: Well, what I learned when I had breast cancer is
• 36:21
  Speaker 5: that there's a whole lot of different types of breast cancer,
• 36:23
  Speaker 5: which I didn't know that beforehand. And there's all these
• 36:28
  Speaker 5: there's just a merry out of tests that you then
• 36:30
  Speaker 5: have to go through. You know, whether it's an estrogen positive,
• 36:33
  Speaker 5: whether it's progesteron positive, and that determines the treatment. And
• 36:38
  Speaker 5: you have to check node involvement because once it sort
• 36:40
  Speaker 5: of gets to your lymph nodes, it starts traveling through body.
• 36:44
  Speaker 5: So you don't want that. And that's why I say,
• 36:45
  Speaker 5: go as as you possibly can. You don't want to
• 36:48
  Speaker 5: go into your lymph nodes. You just want to contain it.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: And how long was your treatment? For?
• 36:53
  Speaker 5: About six months?
• 36:55
  Speaker 6: Yeah?
• 36:55
  Speaker 5: Chemo?
• 36:56
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean once you'd finish your treatment. And I mean,
• 37:00
  Speaker 6: how did they break the news see that we cancer
• 37:02
  Speaker 6: free or in remission?
• 37:05
  Speaker 5: They do, actually, and to answer your question before when
• 37:08
  Speaker 5: to start, because it's all very you see this person now,
• 37:12
  Speaker 5: and then when that's done, you see this person then
• 37:14
  Speaker 5: on you know, then you go into your oncologies and
• 37:18
  Speaker 5: they do enter a whole lot of data into it,
• 37:21
  Speaker 5: some sort of computer program and they give you some
• 37:28
  Speaker 5: sort of percentage like survival percentage, right. But I did
• 37:32
  Speaker 5: notice they always kept saying, oh, five years, hang on
• 37:35
  Speaker 5: beyond five years, you know, five years. Son's am over
• 37:38
  Speaker 5: ten now, so I have to be on medication for
• 37:41
  Speaker 5: ten years?
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: Oh wow?
• 37:42
  Speaker 5: Yeah? Because my cancer was estrogen fed yea.
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: And so when you have beaten cancer do you celebrate?
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: Do you have a party or is it just like
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: we get on.
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: With it, you went ahead, mat.
• 37:54
  Speaker 5: No, No, I know. I think you still always have
• 37:58
  Speaker 5: it there a little bit little fear. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 38:02
  Speaker 5: well because you know how quickly things can change. I
• 38:05
  Speaker 5: think that's what it is. One minute you're living your
• 38:07
  Speaker 5: life and I wasn't sick. I didn't feel the well,
• 38:09
  Speaker 5: I didn't think. And that's the irony too, that you know,
• 38:12
  Speaker 5: once you start chemo and stuffy, they're making you sick. Yeah,
• 38:15
  Speaker 5: they don't actually, And that's like a real mind game
• 38:19
  Speaker 5: that happens.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: Do you remember what the sickness felt like from chemo?
• 38:23
  Speaker 5: I was actually I had a lot of friends who
• 38:25
  Speaker 5: are in the medical profession and they just said, Trisha,
• 38:27
  Speaker 5: take all the drugs, take the program drugs that they say,
• 38:31
  Speaker 5: and that will minimize it. So I didn't feel nauseous
• 38:34
  Speaker 5: so much like a lot of people. And you know,
• 38:37
  Speaker 5: half of that was one type of chemotherapy in the
• 38:40
  Speaker 5: the second half was a different kind of chemotherapy. The
• 38:43
  Speaker 5: second half one that wasn't very pleasant, that just got
• 38:45
  Speaker 5: all your joints in your body. Then you felt like
• 38:47
  Speaker 5: you had the flu all the time.
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Achy, I grew up with my mum losing friends
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: to breast cancer. So I think I love your thought
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: process of the fact that it was your loved ones
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: looking out for you.
• 39:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: I think it's it's amazing that you come through the
• 39:03
  Speaker 3: other end and you've beaten it. It's well done.
• 39:06
  Speaker 6: Yeah, congratulations and thank you so much for sharing that.
• 39:08
  Speaker 6: And our listeners for sure that advice to go early
• 39:12
  Speaker 6: will resonate with them.
• 39:13
  Speaker 5: Because I would never and again I was only doing
• 39:15
  Speaker 5: it to sort of tick the box too. Yeah, I'm
• 39:18
  Speaker 5: done for another two years, be fine, So I'm quite shocked.
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Trish, we always like to end the question in
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: the show with a question. We like to end the
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: show on a question. And it's unique because your boys
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: have kind of done this a few times, but it's
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: when they have left.
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: The nest again and.
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: For the last time will come. Is there anything you
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: would like them to remember about the house they grew
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: up in.
• 39:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I want them to remember that dinner time
• 39:55
  Speaker 5: was the time where we all came together. We sat
• 39:57
  Speaker 5: at the table and one of my favorite things things
• 40:00
  Speaker 5: to do, and we didn't do it all the time,
• 40:01
  Speaker 5: but it was like you're high low and everyone has
• 40:06
  Speaker 5: to give a high low of their day, all the
• 40:09
  Speaker 5: week it might be, and you just get two bits
• 40:12
  Speaker 5: of information you know that aren't forthcoming otherwise. Particularly boys
• 40:16
  Speaker 5: don't come out and tell you everything all the time.
• 40:18
  Speaker 5: Although I did love the car trip home from school,
• 40:21
  Speaker 5: plased to get all the Gosspepa they'd be talking to
• 40:23
  Speaker 5: you has been so yeah, So that's well.
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: From the sidelines, it looks like you guys have a
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: lot of fun. I'm sure there's a lot of arguments
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: that we don't see.
• 40:38
  Speaker 5: But that's part of the funny, isn't it. Does everyone
• 40:41
  Speaker 5: get on all the time? That's unrealistic. I would think
• 40:46
  Speaker 5: that would be boring and eye bragang, what's going on there?
• 40:52
  Speaker 5: Something we someone's not happy in that relationship going okay?
• 40:56
  Speaker 6: Boys, you know, I think when you can argue and
• 40:58
  Speaker 6: then make fun of the argument later, we love that
• 41:01
  Speaker 6: is the best.
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: It's like you've.
• 41:03
  Speaker 6: Completely moved on from it and someone will say something
• 41:06
  Speaker 6: and you'd be like, oh, just like when you're angry before,
• 41:08
  Speaker 6: and just to poke the bed. I think that shows
• 41:11
  Speaker 6: that you're so comfortable with your family that you know
• 41:14
  Speaker 6: you can just about say anything to each other.
• 41:16
  Speaker 5: Pretty much like we've often gone into do our Family
• 41:19
  Speaker 5: podcast and not talking like Matt Night a number of times. Yeah,
• 41:24
  Speaker 5: and I'm not even looking at him that it might
• 41:29
  Speaker 5: have been days. This is gonna be awkward. And then
• 41:33
  Speaker 5: after the first time went all actually it works, and
• 41:38
  Speaker 5: then like he can't help himself. He's always the one
• 41:40
  Speaker 5: that the ice. I'm the stubborn one.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I see that with me. Yeah, just a little bit, yeah.
• 41:47
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's can't bear it.
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: It's been a pleasure having the matriarch.
• 41:52
  Speaker 5: Now I have I do have gifts. I have gifts
• 41:54
  Speaker 5: for you. The boys have now these are not available.
• 42:00
  Speaker 5: These are like special backstage podcast from Maddy.
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: John Trudition's just brought out too beautiful and although I've
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: got a question the color maron Manly.
• 42:12
  Speaker 5: Oh, they go perfect for you.
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: Perfect, It looks lovely on you.
• 42:15
  Speaker 5: Who do you support?
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: I'm from Brisbane. I'm from Brisbane.
• 42:19
  Speaker 5: So he works for the Broncos too, works for the Broncos.
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: Head was and these what do you got here?
• 42:27
  Speaker 5: Okay? These are really special. So on the Family podcast
• 42:30
  Speaker 5: some time ago, we had an incident when Matt was
• 42:35
  Speaker 5: telling us about the time he had to stop through
• 42:37
  Speaker 5: saying ives and pee. But there was nowhere to pee.
• 42:42
  Speaker 5: Here's a bladder issue. The man he had some Canterboid boots.
• 42:48
  Speaker 5: He thank god, in his boot. So he grabbed one
• 42:50
  Speaker 5: and he's in his car peeing in his boot.
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: No, that is the strangest. Just get out and pee
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: the bush.
• 42:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I think there were kids around. I don't think
• 42:58
  Speaker 5: you money.
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: You can't walking around the park with your dickhout.
• 43:02
  Speaker 5: So I went on. I think, and there are these
• 43:06
  Speaker 5: things called we don't want to do that. It's a
• 43:11
  Speaker 5: portable urinal, so I thought that might be handy for
• 43:17
  Speaker 5: you guys, and I thought either for the kids.
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: I love that I get it.
• 43:20
  Speaker 6: I love that I get to take away from this
• 43:22
  Speaker 6: interview that the John's family got me a portable urine.
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: Look at that you could do other things with it.
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: That's that's far too big for me.
• 43:31
  Speaker 5: Well, you know, you never know how much tell you
• 43:33
  Speaker 5: one going on to it at any one given moment that.
• 43:36
  Speaker 3: Is unnecessary but extremely thoughtful.
• 43:40
  Speaker 5: Keep it in the car.
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: Honestly, think this is one of the best gifts I've
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: ever been given.
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: Welcome and also if you play thirsty, you can.
• 43:48
  Speaker 5: Well look cood as long as you haven't been using it.
• 43:50
  Speaker 5: It's I brought them, made sure they were in the
• 43:52
  Speaker 5: plastic for you, so it wasn't secondhand.
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: So KUPA isn't weeding this one. No, no, no, he's
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: got one in their dreams. That is like, that's amazing.
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much.
• 44:03
  Speaker 6: I'm going to give it a go, report back, Okay,
• 44:06
  Speaker 6: I won't send it back to your hours with be it.
• 44:10
  Speaker 5: Don't pull too hard on the end.
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I might take it to magic round with me.
• 44:13
  Speaker 5: It did come often.
• 44:14
  Speaker 6: I might take it to a magic round with me
• 44:16
  Speaker 6: and whip it out in front of Cooper and see
• 44:17
  Speaker 6: what he says. Ye, thanks for having me again. Thank
• 44:22
  Speaker 6: you so much for jumping on and sharing the John's
• 44:26
  Speaker 6: family and yourself and of course your story about breast
• 44:31
  Speaker 6: cancer is going to be real beneficial listeners, so thank you.
• 44:33
  Speaker 5: You like to take your own health into your own
• 44:35
  Speaker 5: hands for sure. The doctor says no, you're too young
• 44:38
  Speaker 5: to say yeah, but I still want to have a
• 44:40
  Speaker 5: good advice.
• 44:41
  Speaker 3: Sound soul, squeaky wheel like it's the oil exactly truth.
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much, appreciate it, Matt.
• 44:56
  Speaker 3: That was delightful. I wist and we've got gifts at
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: the end as well.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: I forgot what it was I'm actually gonna use my
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: mind to drink out of divers And remember, please please take.
• 45:08
  Speaker 6: Trisha's advice which is really really important, and go and
• 45:11
  Speaker 6: get yourself checked.
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: Regularly, and not just mums but dads as well.
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: Early detection is key.
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: And if you enjoyed this episode, any episode from Two
• 45:19
  Speaker 3: Doting Dance, we would absolutely love it.
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: You love it.
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: If you would give us a review, subscribe, maybe a
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: couple of comments, some feedback if you will on any
• 45:30
  Speaker 3: episodes and upper podcasts or Spotify or wherever you get
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: your podcasts.
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: Yes, join us on socials Two Doting Dads, Instagram, Facebook
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: and TikTok.
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: And if there's any moms and if there's any mums
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: or dads out there that you would love us to interview,
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: please let us know and we'll do our best to
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: hunt them down.
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: Excuse me, I'd like a famous grandmother. Yeah, I'm into that.
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: I'm not in that way.
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
• 46:10
  Speaker 6: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 46:12
  Speaker 6: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and torrestrate Islander
• 46:16
  Speaker 6: peoples today