Latest / Loose Threads & Stitches: A Quilting Podcast / Episode 36: Why Finishing a Quilt Never Feels Like Enough — And What To Do About It

Transcript

Episode 36: Why Finishing a Quilt Never Feels Like Enough — And What To Do About It · Loose Threads & Stitches: A Quilting Podcast

• 0:07
  If we can see that the target keeps moving.
• 0:11
  Why do we still chase it?
• 0:14
  If we can notice the pressure.
• 0:18
  Why does it still pull us forward?
• 0:21
  I don't think it's weakness.
• 0:22
  Personally, I think it's just human nature.
• 0:26
  Welcome back to the Loose Threads and Stitches podcast.
• 0:29
  I am Christen with ISeeStarsQuilting.com.
• 0:32
  This episode is a continuation of the Enough Chapter.
• 0:36
  It is our limited series where we're exploring growth, identity,
• 0:41
  and the quiet hum of more in modern life.
• 0:45
  I have really enjoyed this podcast so far.
• 0:49
  I hope that you have enjoyed this kind of like a slightly deeper
• 0:52
  look into the way the creative mind works.
• 0:55
  And so far we've talked about the atmosphere of improvement.
• 1:00
  We've talked about how enough can feel like a constant moving target.
• 1:05
  And today I want to gently explore a little bit deeper.
• 1:10
  I want to explore something underneath all of that.
• 1:14
  Okay.
• 1:15
  I wanted to talk about why we respond to it in the first place.
• 1:19
  Okay.
• 1:20
  Again, not critically, just curiously.
• 1:23
  And if you have been enjoying this podcast, please do me a favor.
• 1:26
  Put it down in the comments so that I know that you're enjoying this.
• 1:29
  And if you have other questions or other thoughts on any of these topics,
• 1:33
  please let me know.
• 1:34
  I love, love, love reading your comments and I love talking with other quilters
• 1:38
  in this world. It is truly one of my greatest joys.
• 1:41
  So yeah, if this series has been resonating with you,
• 1:44
  make sure that you're following my YouTube channel.
• 1:46
  Make sure that you go and catch up on the other episodes.
• 1:49
  If you're just tuning in right now.
• 1:51
  And, it's really helpful if you share this podcast with a friend,
• 1:55
  it's always very much appreciated.
• 1:56
  As well as leaving a review on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
• 2:01
  Okay, let's dive into it.
• 2:03
  Let's talk about why
• 2:06
  we chase what keeps moving.
• 2:09
  Okay, that moving target that we talked about, Humans are wired for progress.
• 2:15
  Okay.
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  That's not a flaw, that's survival.
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  And that's good. Okay.
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  For most of human history, noticing what could be improved meant staying safe.
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  It meant better shelter. It meant better tools.
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  It meant better strategy.
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  Scanning for the what's next
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  helped us adapt as a species.
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  So when something in our environment highlights a possibility,
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  our brains don't experience that as pressure.
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  They're experiencing it as an opportunity,
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  an opportunity often feels really energizing to our bodies.
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  Belonging feels important and relevant, feels safe.
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  So when we see a higher standard, something inside us leans towards it.
• 3:02
  that leaning isn't weakness.
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  It's hard wiring in our bodies.
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  So there's something very normal that happens once we reach a goal.
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  What once felt exciting becomes familiar.
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  What once felt like a win becomes our new baseline.
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  You reorganize the room and it feels amazing for, like a week.
• 3:26
  And then
• 3:28
  it's it's just the way the room is right now, right?
• 3:31
  That's not like being ungrateful at all.
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  It's it's not, recognizing the gratitude that you have.
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  That's adaptation.
• 3:39
  Okay. That's that's totally normal feeling.
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  Our brains are meant to recalibrate quickly,
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  which means satisfaction often fades faster than we expect it to.
• 3:51
  And when satisfaction fades, the mind
• 3:55
  tends to scan forward again.
• 3:58
  There's there's something motivating about the chase
• 4:02
  and the hunt for new and exciting things.
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  Right?
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  I, I myself like,
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  I love that feeling of walking into a fabric store
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  and finding a new designer that I didn't know existed,
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  but I am obsessed with everything that they've created, right?
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  Like, like that is so freeing to see that, like something out
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  there was created with absolutely everything that I love.
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  You know, that can easily be a high that you chase quite often,
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  and you love that feeling like it's it's great.
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  I totally encourage you to get excited about all the little things in your life.
• 4:37
  Right.
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  And, and that chase can kind of be just
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  imagining the next version of yourself, imagining your next,
• 4:47
  project
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  and picturing improvement in your skills.
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  Sometimes the momentum feels better than the actual arrival.
• 4:56
  All right.
• 4:57
  I love shopping for fabric.
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  That's my favorite part.
• 5:01
  Okay, I love the imagining and the creating of a quilt
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  more than I love putting the binding on that sucker, right?
• 5:09
  Like you probably understand that too.
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  Like there is something very satisfying about the binding.
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  But in terms of process, I love the shopping part.
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  I love the pulling together of the fabrics.
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  I love the imagination of it better than the final steps of it.
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  And, kind of back to what we were talking about today
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  is if the target moves constantly,
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  the anticipation resets.
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  So we keep moving to it's not because we're broken,
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  but because we are built to move.
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  Okay.
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  Now layer on top of that.
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  The pace that we talked about last week, benchmarks shifting very, very quickly,
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  progress becoming visible, milestones absolutely everywhere.
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  And our natural wiring meets a very, very, very, very fast moving environment.
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  And the world that we live in today.
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  And suddenly the leaning forward into the next phase,
• 6:13
  into the next exciting thing feels constant,
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  even when we are tired
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  as a species, okay, as a person rather than a species.
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  I've noticed this in myself in small ways,
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  like every single day ways.
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  Okay, I notice that am I'm constantly
• 6:35
  living on the very, very edge of what's coming next.
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  Okay, you finish something and before you've even sat with it being done
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  right and enjoyed it, your mind says, how could I have made this better?
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  How could I refine this?
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  Or what's the next step?
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  What am I going to do next? What am I going to learn next?
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  What else is out there that I can throw myself into?
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  Okay.
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  And that voice doesn't have to sound like dramatic, even though it's
• 7:05
  it's often quite dramatic in my head.
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  Okay.
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  But that is it's normal
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  for your body to want that.
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  Okay.
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  It's almost like
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  a responsibility to want to improve,
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  to want to work on something next, to constantly be moving.
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  Right.
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  But even if it's normal,
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  it doesn't always mean that it's necessary part of life, okay?
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  Sometimes it's just momentum and biology
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  doing what momentum and biology does, all right?
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  Keeping us wanting to move forward.
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  This is one of the reasons that I, I love getting into this, and I love
• 7:53
  learning about this, and and I really love sharing this with you too, is
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  I love making things with clear edges on them.
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  Okay.
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  When I quilt, there's a beginning, there's a middle, and there's an end.
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  The project doesn't evolve into something else halfway through.
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  All right, I have a clear vision of what I'm making from the very beginning,
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  even if I don't know how to do all the steps in the middle right
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  there has like the project has a boundary,
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  and when it's complete, I can hold it.
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  That feeling of holding something, being finished, it is very different
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  from scrolling past endless, endless upgrades.
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  Okay, it reminds me that completion exists
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  and that arrival, that finishing something is totally possible.
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  So if you've ever found yourself thinking like, why can't I just be satisfied?
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  Like, why is this just never enough?
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  Maybe that question that you're asking yourself is too harsh.
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  I’m going to say that again.
• 8:59
  Okay, maybe that question is too harsh.
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  And I am a big, big fan of
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  being gentle with yourself.
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  But I want to go to like, maybe the better question is,
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  what am I responding to right now?
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  Is your body responding to wiring adaptation, momentum,
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  pace expectations that are not your own being put on yourself?
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  You know, understanding is what softens
• 9:32
  the edge of those really harsh emotions and
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  I believe that when we understand
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  why we lean forward into, you know, wanting more
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  and wanting to progress further, we're going to gain that ability to pause.
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  And when you pause, that
• 9:51
  creates choice, right?
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  It creates choice.
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  Just because we're wired to chase doesn't mean
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  that you are required to chase everything right?
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  And you probably felt this
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  when you walked into a quilt shop before and you're like,
• 10:10
  wow, they have fabric and they have bag making patterns
• 10:14
  and they have like, toolkit patterns, and they have this pattern
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  and this pattern and like quilt coats and like,
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  I mean, yes, like the the world is your oyster.
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  Okay.
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  You could do anything you want, but you are not required to chase everything.
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  And you are totally like able to say,
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  no, I'm not going to touch bags right now.
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  Like that's maybe later on.
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  All right. You don't have to say no forever.
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  I personally never say never
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  because I, I've learned many times that that comes back and bites me.
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  I will absolutely
• 10:51
  get really overconfident in my own skills and want to go back
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  and do something over and over again that I may not be totally equipped to do.
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  But you know that that's just me. Okay?
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  What I'm trying to get at here is you are allowed to notice the pull
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  that you feel towards, like, wouldn't it be so cool if I made my own luggage,
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  like travel set, right?
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  And you are allowed to grow, but
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  you are also allowed to decide
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  when you feel good, when you feel finished.
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  Okay, you're allowed to make that decision.
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  And just like, Don't let the expectations of others
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  affect how you feel about yourself.
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  Okay, so next week we are going to talk about overload
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  and the difference between dysfunction and capacity.
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  It's going to be fun I promise.
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  It's going to be fun.
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  It's it's a really good one.
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  So until then, I'm gonna leave you with this thought
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  maybe restlessness isn't a flaw.
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  Okay, think about that.
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  Maybe it's.
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  It might just be being a human.
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  So stick with that.
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  Let me know what you think.
• 12:05
  I have enjoyed today.
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  I've enjoyed these, thoughts sharing them with you, and I can't wait to dig
• 12:13
  more into this series with you and share more of the thoughts that I have.
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  This is going to be fun, all right?
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  It's going to be learning, thinking about things.
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  If you have thoughts that you want to share with me,
• 12:23
  make sure you leave them down in the comments.
• 12:25
  I love to hear from you.
• 12:26
  Okay, so I hope that you have a wonderful rest of your week.
• 12:30
  Thank you so much for tuning in to the Loose Threads and Stitches podcast.
• 12:33
  I'm Christen with ISeeStarsQuilting and I will see you next time. Bye!
• 12:54
  You.