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Ride Or Die · Everyone Has An Ex

• 0:10
  Speaker 1: You're listening to Amma mea podcast Muma Mer acknowledges the
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: traditional owners of the land and waters. This podcast is
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: recorded on We spend a lot of time talking and
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: thinking about romantic relationships, searching for and finding that one
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: person who'll enrich your life, who'll choose you and only
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: you even change your last name. But what about friendships,
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  Speaker 1: Those deep, unbreakable bonds, the ones who make your life
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  Speaker 1: better without the strings attached, Those soulmate level best friends.
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  Speaker 1: They're the person you call with good news, the one
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  Speaker 1: you laugh and cry with, the one you run to
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  Speaker 1: when your heart is broken. They know your secrets, your history,
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  Speaker 1: your dreams, every side and every version of you. You
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: just couldn't imagine life without them, But you don't have to,
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: because you know through all of life's ups and downs,
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  Speaker 1: the good times and the bad, they'll always be there,
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: won't they. I'm Georgia Love and this is everyone has
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: an ex best Friend. Come with me as we dive
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: into a collection of stories about friendships past through the
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  Speaker 1: eyes and the hearts of the very people who lived them.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: When we talk about best friends, we usually imagine people
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: around about the same age. Friendships work this way because
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: you've got common interests, you know, the same cultural references,
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: you share similar life experiences on similar timelines. But it
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: doesn't have to be that way. Like Flola and Sandra.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: There's a twenty year different So she's twenty years older
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: than I am. And at the time when I met,
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: I was thirty nine. She was head of her department
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: and I was just one of the staff workers there.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: We hadn't worked together at that time, but we just
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: sort of through the corridors of the clinic. We just
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: hit it off really well. She just had a really
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: good sense of human a really sick and twisted sense
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: of humor, dark humor like I have. I seem to
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: have this inner monologue that does not stay inner. It
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: comes out and I forget sometimes that there are people around.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: And I accidentally sort of turned around when a patient
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: left who was quite rude and obnoxious.
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: And I kind of said, were there are sea word?
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: But it was sort of under my breath and I
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: didn't realize I said it out loud, and she just
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: burst it out laughing, and I thought, oh my god, I.
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: Actually said that out loud, or she's going to tell
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: my boss.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be in trouble, and then she turned
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: around and said exactly what a sea word as well,
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: And then from that day on we just sort of
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: hit it off. And then we were rosted on pretty
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: much since we built.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: Like a really good report at work.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: And then we decided to sort of do Friday after
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: work drinks. We would go on a Friday and just
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: just have two glasses of wine over a period of
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: like four hours and just slowly starting to get to
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: know each other then, especially because I was single at
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: the time and on all the dating apps, and she
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: just wanted to know what it was like out there
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: in the brutality world of dating, and so I just
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: tell her all these like funny stories.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Because Sandra was well and truly out of the dating world,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: well kind of. I'll let Laola explain.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: My friend's been in our long term relationship with her
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: partner for about eight nine years. They don't live together, however,
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: they've been dating for that amount of time.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: She is in a.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Relationship with said guy who likes to introduce himself as
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: her friend to other people outside of us except us.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: When he's around us, he's the boyfriend, But around other
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: people not in her earshot, he's the friend. She has
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: her own magnificent home, she's had a great career, she's
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: got four older children who don't live with her anymore.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: But you know what bonded us was the fact that
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: I was out there on the dating scene after gone
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: through a divorce myself.
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: So she was.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: Really keen on hearing what twenty twenty one and so
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: on in the dating world, digital dating world is all about.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: So it would just be her and I every Friday
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: Friday drinks. Because I was single, she didn't live with
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: a partner, no kids at home.
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  Speaker 3: It was perfect.
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  Speaker 2: We didn't have to worry about anyone or anything. It
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: was finished work, washed the day off, so to speak
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: with a couple of glasses of wine and just talk
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: about my silly, crazy dating life. It took about a
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: year before it's sort of progressed beyond the pub, and
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: then we started having slumber parties like two little girls.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: We would do pajama parties every second weekend. I'd go
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: to her house or she'd come to mine, and we'd
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: have wine nights and order food in I never felt
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: that age gap at all, even in she'd tell me
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: stories of past and when she was my age and whatnot,
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: I still would forget. Oh yeah, that's right, you're twenty
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: years older than me. I didn't have to sugarcoat shit
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: with her. I could just be my true, authentic and
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: just say what I needed to say without judgment.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: What started as a high level work relationship grew into
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: what seemed to be more a proper real life friendship,
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: and soon something would happen in Lola's life that would
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: well and truly solidify that.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: I was getting more and more really tired at work
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: one day and normally I don't sleep.
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: I have really bad.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: Insomnia in general, and I just kept getting more and
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: more tired, which wasn't sort of I wasn't worried about it,
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: but I was just sort of, ah, you know, at
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: that time, I had turned forty, and I thought, oh,
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: maybe it's you know, I've turned forty. I'm just more
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: tired because I'm getting older. She started noticing it as well,
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: sort of, you know, are you okay or you seem
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: to be really tired and not engaging much in conversation.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: And I sort of thought, yeah, I don't know what
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: it is. I'm just really, really really tired. I just
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: thought maybe I'll just go see my doctor and maybe
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: just do some screening tests and whatnot. And then I
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: went to see my GP. Yeah, now I get to
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: do free breast screening. And she said, well, okay, hold on,
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: let me do an examination on you and then i'll
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: book you in for mammogram and whatnot. I said, okay
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: and whatnot. And then she did the exam on me
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: and I could see there was a look on her
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: face and I said, is everything okay? And she said,
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: I'm feeling some lumps there. So what I'll do is
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: I'll write you a referral. They had the facilities there
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: to sort of do the testing and you'll know within
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: a couple of hours what's kind of going on.
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: And I thought, okay.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: I started getting a bit concerned, and so I rang
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: Sandra and I said to her, I'm going to be
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: going in to the hospital.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: Would you be able to come?
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: And she said, yeah, absolutely, no worries because I don't
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: have any family living here where I'm living to you know,
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: be a support for me. So they did the scans
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: and they weren't happy with the scans, and I still
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: wasn't really thinking much of it. I was thinking, oh, okay,
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: maybe it's just sort of dance breast issue. Wasn't really
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: thinking much of it. And then they came back and
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: they said, look the scans, we can't really see what's
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: going on there.
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  Speaker 3: We might have to do a couple of biopsies.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: They went in through my right armpit and through my
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: right breast, took them and within under three hours I
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: found out that I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: was just in shock when the doctor sort of said
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: to me, she said, I can't tell you what stage,
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: what grade, what you're out with your situation, but you
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: do have cancer. I think it's best that you get
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: your things in order, get your insurance as in order,
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: contact your workplace because you're going to have a long
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: road ahead of you. The next appointment for the hospital
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: was a week after and that's when they get the
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: actual pathology results from the radiologist and from pathology exactly
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: what stage, what type, and what's to happen next.
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  Speaker 3: At the time, I was dating my now husband.
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  Speaker 2: We'd been official for probably about six weeks.
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  Speaker 3: When I went to go and do all this testing.
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  Speaker 2: And so that's when I called Sandra and I said
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: to her, can you come with me? My boyfriend at
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: the time don't want him to be there for that
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: because I don't know what I'm facing. But you and
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: I we work ten hour shifts a day, five days
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: a week. You're my rock right now. So and she
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: said absolutely, and I was amazing. She said absolutely, I'm coming,
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  Speaker 2: I'm coming. And then when we met there, that's when
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: we went in and we found out that I have
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: metastatic breast cancer. It started off as stage three C,
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: which is you're on borderline stage four, and that I
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: have estrogen and progesterone hormone positive cancer and we need
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: to start you on near adjuvant chemotherapy.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: They started right away of chemotherapy before she would then
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: be operated on a full mastectomy and more likely more
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: chemo thereafter. The doctors had put it lightly when they
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: said she'd have a long road ahead. The chemo made
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: Lola very sick and incredibly weak, so naturally she didn't
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: have the time or energy she once had to nurture
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  Speaker 1: her friendships, something Sandra seemed to take personally.
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  Speaker 2: Mum had to come and move down first six months
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  Speaker 2: with me to live with me, to care for me
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  Speaker 2: because I was so sick, so so sick, and Sandra
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: she came in, but I was just amazed at how
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  Speaker 2: she fell apart amongst it all than I did. She
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: was a very very emotional person. I've never met someone
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: twenty years my senior who's gone through life and is
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: so insecure, like a young teenage girl. Very very insecure
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: with how she looks, very insecure with her work ethic,
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: very insecure just speaking in general. She's such an intelligent
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: woman and just so beautiful as well. You know, I
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: just it baffled me someone like that. He's got everything together,
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: and here's me divorce, cancer, don't know my own home,
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: and I'm just looking at her, going, you're living the dream.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: You know, you've got your life together. Yet she's just
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: got this profound insecurity in herself and in everything.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: Okay, but hang on, Lola had cancer. What insecurities could
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: that possibly bring up for Sandra?
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: She says, you know, I love you to bits, but
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: I'm really jealous because you have been in the dating
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: world and everyone wants to date you. And then she said,
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: then you meet this guy and he wants to be
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: committed to you even though you just got diagnosed with cancer,
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: and I'm just like, Okay, I never felt that jealousy
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: you know, you can feel sometimes with people.
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: I never felt that.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: It was more the envis I want that because I've
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: had a partner for nine years.
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: He's not committing to me. We're not moving in together.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: It's not growing, it's staying in this bubble of what
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: it is and that's what it's going to be. And she's,
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: you know, in her mid sixties, and why can't I
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: have that? And you know, I'm at that time of
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: my life where I'm going to be retiring soon and
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: I want to retire living with someone and whatnot. And
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: here you are and he's already making plans to eventually
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: move in together. So yeah, which was really strange because
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: if I could have it any other way, it would
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: be I don't want to be living with this cancer.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: I don't know sort of what my future holds. I
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: haven't even had the surgeries yet. I'm dealing with finances
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: on my own. My mum's moved in with me to
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: care for me, but I've still got to pay rent,
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: I've still got to come up with financials. And here's
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: you're living in your beautiful home and earning your great
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: money and I don't even know if I have a
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: job to go back.
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: I don't even know what's going to happen. So this was.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: Probably two years at that stage into our free shit,
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: and this was probably seven months into chemotherapy. I had
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: to take a mental step back, and for me, that
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: was sort of being very vague on text messages. But
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: I had to give my mum my phone to control
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: that anyway, because I just didn't have the energy to
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: hold my hand up to text people. So I just
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: said to Mom, just we'll just blame it on the chemo,
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: and I've just got to step back because I can't
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: deal with her in security while I'm dying. I can't
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: be your soundboard for you right now. I can't be
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: anything for myself. I've got nothing to offer my partner.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: I've got nothing to offer you. So it was sort
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: of I stepped back for about three months where I
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: just didn't answer my phone. It was to protect the
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: friendship because I do still adore her, and I didn't
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: make any apology for that, and she didn't expect an apology.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: But I think she found that harder than I did
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: because I was too sick to really care.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: If I'm to be honest, Balola wasn't ready to give up,
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: not on her relationships and not on life. When this
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: first sort of grueling chemotherapy was over, there was only
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: one thing I wanted to do.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: I had an after chemo party celebration. I still had cancer.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: I just wanted to celebrate a chemo party because thankfully
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: I finished it, and I'd hoped to never ever experience
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: that ever again.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: So I was excited.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: So I got everyone together and we had an after
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: chemo party celebration, and lots of people turned up, and
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: her and I just it just we just reconnected from there,
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: and then we started having back to our slumber parties
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: and sort of reconnect on that again, which was really
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: really good because I didn't want to talk about cancer.
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: I was living at twenty four to seven. I didn't
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: want to talk about it.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: I just wanted to hear dumb stuff like what had
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: happened through the clinic, And was that idiot of a
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: doctor still being an idiot a doctor? And were those nurses,
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: you know, the dramas of the clinic. Was that all
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: still happening. And she'd fill me in on that stuff,
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: which was great because it made it made me laugh
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: and made me.
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: Go, I'm so glad I'm I'm so glad I'm not there.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: It was great because she would tell me, you know,
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: she said, you know, everyone misses you. The clinic is
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: so quiet because I was quite a loud, amrambunctious person,
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: and you know, you really are missed there because everyone
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: could hear your laugh from one side of the clinic
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: to the other. So it just feels, really you can
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: tell there's a personality missing here. So it was nice
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: to hear that. So we would, yeah, resumed like we
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: were normally doing. And then I had to go and
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: have a couple of surgeries because they didn't get clear
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: enough margins from the cancers because it had spread, and
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: I ended up getting diagnosed with stage four metastatic breast cancer.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: So I had to go in and have quite a
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: few big surgeries and that being double mesteck to me
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: full axillary lymphno clearance which is right up into sort
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: of the collar bone and whatnot, and reconstructive work which
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: went over a period of six months. And I thought
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: chemotherapy was hard. That was really hard too, and very painful,
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: but throw out it.
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: She it's almost like she got over herself for that
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: period of time. And just didn't think about her insecurities
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: and what I mean, she's still had those. And I
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: just look at her and she said, I know I'm
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: carrying on when you're here. I said, no, no, no, I'm
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: not making it about me. But it's just like you
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: get a different perspective of life, and I wish you
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: could kind of just see what I see in life,
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: but not only that in you as well. You're healthy.
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: You've gotten to the age you're at and you've you're healthy.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: You know, that is such a blessing. Like I tried
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: to make sure that she knew how much of a
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: blessing it is to have your health, especially in your
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: mid to late sixties.
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: Life is good. Life is really really good.
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, partner, he doesn't want to move in with you,
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: So what you get to have girl dinners every night.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: If you want to drink a bottle of wine every
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: night to yourself and no one jogging you, girl, you
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: can do that, you know. And if he comes over
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: on a weekend and leaves, great, then he's out.
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: Of your space.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: You get to have your space. Like this is the
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: perfect relationship in my eye, you know. So, and then
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: she would sort of have a come to Jesus moment
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: and be like, yeah, you.
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: Know what, You're right, yeah, absolutely right.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: Okay, so this isn't really an ex best friend story yet.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: What could possibly happen beyond cancer in the very real
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: likelihood of death that could change things now?
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: So her and I had been friends for three years
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: at that time, and my partner and I were going
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: on one year into the relationship.
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: So that is a hell of a lot to go through.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: In one year, and we hadn't even finished all the
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: treatments and surgeries. We sort of decided my lease was
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: coming up and my mum had moved back, and he's like, well,
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: why don't you move in to my house? And I said, oh,
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: should we? And he said, well, we've been together for
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: a year, We've been through this. And then I thought,
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: you know what, screw up, I've surviving death. Who cares
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: doesn't work out? Oh, well, I've survived death. I can
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: come back. It'll be fine.
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: She kind of went a little bit funny, not on me,
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: but just funny in the way that.
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: One year you've.
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: Gone through this and he still wants to move in
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: with you and mine We've been together ten years at
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: the time, still can't commit to moving in, And so
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: I said, well, you know what, you're gonna have to
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: give him a timeline. I know men hate timeline, anyone
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: hates a timeline, but it's your life. You're the only
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: one living it. So if you're not gonna put in
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: boundaries or make a decision, then you either sort of
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: I said it to her in a harsh but polite way,
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: You're either gonna have to zip it and deal with it,
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: or you're gonna have to say, look, this is not
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: working for me.
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: Where are we going? If we don't move in, then
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: what's the point? You know what, Sandra?
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: I said, whatever decision you make, I'm here for you
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: and you're alone, Like, we're going through this journey together.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: We've been through going through cancer together. We're going to
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: go through this together. So whatever you choose, whatever decision
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: you choose to make, I'll stand by you no matter what.
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: And I did.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: She actually broke it off with him, and then when
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: she did, she came and stayed with me for a
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: couple of nights.
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: That's when it's.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: Sort of the downward depression got to her really, really bad,
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: and it was just crying continuously drinking three bottles of
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: wine in one sitting and just just saying to my partner,
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: just saying, you're incredible, You're amazing, and like, why can't
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: I have what you guys have? And you know, and
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: we're just saying anybody can. But you're making a decision
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: to you've broken it off with him, and you know,
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: just give yourself some time and go in the dating world,
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: no one wants me. I've been single for the last
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: thirty years. No one wants me, just that woe is
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: me mentality. So that was around Christmas time in twenty
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: twenty four, and then I went away for Christmas and
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: he proposed to me Christmas Day. I felt bad telling
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: her because I felt like I was rubbing in her face.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: I texted her didn't want to call because it was
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: Christmas Day and I knew she'd be with her children
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: and family celebrating, so I just sent her a text
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: saying a picture of the ring.
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: She'd say, I'm so happy for you.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: I love you so much, and it seemed really really good,
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: really really amazing, and yeah, it seemed like she was
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: happy for me, but I could feel you just know
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: women's intuition and when you're that close, you just know,
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: even through a text, you can feel the vibe is
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: not quite right. So then we caught up, and then
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: year she came over and she sort of said, oh,
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: I am decided to get back with the guy. And
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: I was like, hmm, okay, are you okay with it?
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: And she said, you know what, I have to be.
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: There's no one else out there for me who's going
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: to pick me. I'm used Goods, I'm damaged goods. I
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: just have to deal with it. It is what it is.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: So she accepted him back. I was said, you know what,
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: whatever you want to do, I'm there to support you
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: one hundred percent. I'm there to support you. She knew
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: how I felt, but I never she never really knew
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: how I felt felt so out of respect for her
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: and now friendship, I was still having a couple of surgeries.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: Her and I was still doing our sleepovers at that point.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: She'd come and stay with us and we'd have drinks nights,
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: and then I'd go to hers and have you know,
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: slumber party drinks night at hers. She was having issues
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: at work and with certain particular people at work, so
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: she ended up instead of fighting a case at work,
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: she conceded and decided that I think I'm just going
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: to leave this job al together. That put her in
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: a really bad place for about six months. So she
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: managed to get a couple of other positions and other companies,
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: but everyone else was always a problem. And so I
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: started noticing a pattern when she started working at three
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: or four other workplaces in one year, mean that these
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: people were horrible to her.
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: In one year, four different.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: Workplaces, You're having issues with people? Is there something like
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: that I'm not seeing?
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: She was being lent on more and more by Sandra,
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: and while of course she wanted to be there to
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: support her bestie, it's started becoming an issue for Lola herself,
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: draining what little of her she felt she had.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: The more time was going on, the more I had
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: drifted from work and my work colleagues and whatnot, the
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: more time I had for her, the more depressing she got,
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: the more insecure she got, the more angry she got,
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: and the more her life was falling apart, like not
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: just in a relationship, but in her work life as well.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: It was really weird, and mine seemed to be pulling
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: the other way. It seemed to be not so much
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: the health aspect. But my relationship was getting stronger, and
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: I'm getting engaged, and I'm moving in and I'm planning
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: a wedding. You know, all that stuff is really really positive.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: I started to feel that jealousy creeping in. There were
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: sort of like comments here or there which I never
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: really noticed before, that would be put into things, and
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: you know, I would say something and she'd be.
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: Like, oh wow, yeah, aha, what would you know?
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: You're you know, you're engaged, and you're you're right, you know,
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: you're okay, your life's mapped out for you. Just you know,
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: things like that. I didn't really think too much of it.
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: I just wanted to be there for her like she
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: was there for me. I wanted to give her, as
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: my husband would say, an ROI. I wanted to do
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: that for her for her and make her feel like,
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: you know, she's not alone. Because I was so sick
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: and going through and I was like, she was there
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: for me and been there for me.
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: I can't I put it to the side. I just
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: brushed it to the side and just you know what,
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: She's been there for me.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: By the start of twenty twenty five, life was finally
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: feeling like it was in an upswing for Lola. She
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: had her last surgery, was planning a wedding and bought
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: a house, a gorgeous big property on acreage she'd always
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: dreamt of after years on the literal brink of death.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: She was truly happy. So her bestie would be happy
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: for her too, right, she.
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: Came over and stayed, and it was from then I could.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: Feel that there was like jealousy starting to kick in,
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: and she would sort of touch my husband a little
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: bit inappropriately for me, sort of you know, laugh at things,
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: but then sort of rub his arm and go look
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: at him. He's such a young, handsome man. Why can't
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: I have that or someone like him? It was a
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: house in that as well. I just said, I can't
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: believe I've got this, and she's like, will you deserve it?
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: After everything you've been through? And I wish I could
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: have that after going through cancer. I wish I could
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: have all that time off like you have. You know,
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: what are you doing all day? Oh? You don't have
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: much to do all day? Do I'd be so nice
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: to just have time off and not too much. It
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: was a very jaquline hide. I'd get the bubbly hair
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: and then I'd get stuff like that, but it was
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: never said in a way that it felt.
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: Like a big f you. It was.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was very psychological because it made you think,
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: am I making this up?
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: Or is this really happening.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: Then the wedding had come and the planning and stuff
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: like that, and I didn't want to have any bridesmaids
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: or anyone like that. I did ask her, I said,
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: would you sign my wedding stificate? Because I wanted to
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: make her feel included in the wedding. And she said
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: I could absolutely do that for you. And I said,
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: would you mind, you know, making a speech at the wedding?
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: And she's like, oh my god, I'd be absolutely. On
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: the wedding came, we had the photos done together and
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: it was all great, and then Hubby and I went.
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: To go and have our portraits and stuff taken, and.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: The reception area was downstairs and there was a bar,
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: and I knew when we walked into the reception because I.
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: Could see it. She was pretty lit.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: Very very drunk, and then as the night got on,
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: she got more and more drunk.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: And it wasn't just Sandra. Her partner was there too,
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: of course, and he was in just as much of
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: a state.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: He was flirting with my mum, he was flirting with
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: my friends. One of my friends came up to me
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: and said, so, I can see your friend Sandra. They're
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: all over each other, kissing and whatnot. But he's coming
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: up to me and flirting with me and introducing himself
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: as Sandra's friend. And then they started having bickering fights
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: at the dinner table. She was crying, making remarks and
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: pointing at my friends. She was opposite me, sitting across
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: from my mum, so I could see everything that was
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: going on. I was like, don't focus on it, talk
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: to other people. But then I got my mum nudging me, going.
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: They haven't a bit of a bit of a blue there.
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: So she's crying and I'm like, oh no, and she's
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: just like Mom's like, excuse my language. But Mom's like,
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: for fuck's sake, like she's my age, Like why is
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: she carrying on like a young girl. And then my
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: little sister turned and said to me, I'm like, they're
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: having an like they're fighting. They were out. They obviously thought, oh,
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: we'll take this sort of outside. But outside is sort
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: of in a doorway where I can still see them,
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: and you know, she's crying and wiping her eyes and
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: her arms swinging around. And I'm just getting ropable because
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: I'm not focusing on who is there for me. I'm
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: too busy going what is carrying on there? And then
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: two people came up to me and said, you know
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: that guy that Sandra's with And I said hmm, and
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: they said, yeah, he's saying really inappropriate things to us.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: I think your friend is upset about that. And I said, well,
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: what do you.
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: What do you want me to do about it?
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: And they said, no, no, leave her, don't don't do
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: anything about it. We're just letting you know that that's
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: what's going on. The next day, the venue contacted me
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: to let me know that Sandra was so drunk that
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: she'd actually fallen down a ramp at the venue and
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: they had to sort of escort her out and help
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: her into a car and go home. And I'm thinking,
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: the one time I don't ask much of people, the
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: one time I want you to show up for me
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: when you and I have out like drink nights. It's
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: whatever you carry on, I don't care, it's us whatever,
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: But you're at my wedding.
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: The one day she carried on.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: Worse than some girls I've seen at a nightclub better
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: in their twenties.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: But Lola chose to ignore it. It wasn't her problem,
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: but it was her night. She wasn't gonna let anything
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: or anyone bring her down.
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: And I just partied the night away and had a
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: good old night.
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: The next day, Habby and I had to quickly rush home,
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: pack our things and head to honeymoon.
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: I didn't contact her or.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: Whatnot, because I just wanted to enjoy the honeymoon, and
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: not only that, I was still a bit pissed off
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: from what had happened on that night with her, so
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: I made sure to not contact her until I kind
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: of was back and just in a better mind frame
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: to maybe sort of hear her side of things and
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: what had gone on that night. I ye took a
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: month off, and when my honeymoon came back, she texted
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: me asked how I was and whatnot, like nothing had happened,
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: and I couldn't believe it, and then.
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: I left it for another month.
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: I didn't reply back because I just thought, Okay, I'm
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: just going to give it some space. See if you
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: ever come to Jesus moment, have some thought about maybe
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: she might be annoyed with me because of what went down. Nope,
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: still nothing. She text back and she said, is everything okay?
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: I miss you and whatnot? And I replied and said, yeah,
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: just just wondering because you know, I'm getting a lot
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: of messages from people saying that you and your partner
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: were having a fight and that there was crying, and
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: she said in three lines, huh no, there wasn't.
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: That did not happen.
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: And I thought, okay, so now you're gaslighting me, because
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: really it was me that saw it. And I thought,
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: you know what, fuck you fuck, You're not even it,
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: you're denying it. If she said I'm so sorry, I'd
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: be like, yeah, no, it's okay, I get it. You know,
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: I don't get it. But thank you for the apology
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: and the acknowledgment. I left it, and two months later
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: went She sent me another text and said, I'm really
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: worried I'm not hearing for you.
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: Are you okay? And I said, yep, I'm okay. Thank you.
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: I hope you're doing well.
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: And then she said, I'm really sad that you're not
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: talking to me. I don't know what happened, and you're
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: not talking to me. And I said to her that
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: things happened at the wedding, and then, you know, I
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: gave you the opportunity to explain yourself and you didn't.
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: She said, I did explain myself.
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: I sent you that text message and I left it
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: at that because she's not taking any accountability. She's not
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: acknowledging that she fell down in front of everyone and whatnot.
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: So what was I to say?
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: And I thought, you know what, on stage four cancer,
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: I've got fucking bigger fish to fry than this bullshit.
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: So I left it. Didn't respond, so it became a stalemate.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: Sandra didn't acknowledge nor apologize for her behavior, and Lula
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: didn't push it. She'd seen her friend change and realized
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: it was into a person who wasn't really a friend
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: at all.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: Then I got a text message out of the blue,
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: and it said that I see where your loyalties lie,
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: believing your friends and not me taking their side over mine.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: I've done nothing but support and loved you. I don't
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: need your accusations in my life. I don't want to
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: hear from you again. I wish you all the best
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: in the future, don't ever contact me again. I don't
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: want to hear from you, verbatim. I was gobsmacked. So
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: I thought about it for a night and I thought,
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: you know, I fuck this. I don't need this shit.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: I'm not even going to even bother explaining you don't
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: want me to contact you. Great, You've done the work
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: for me. I don't have to do anything now it's done.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: That was just.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: Exhausted because of the drama over a period of years,
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: like a few years.
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: I was just over it. By then.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: I was sad because I just thought I've been good
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: to you too. Yes, you've been good to me, but
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: I've been good to you too, and I've wanted nothing
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: from you.
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: I was upset, but I was more angry.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: She sent me a parcel to my house of all
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: the things I've given her, like dresses, jewelry, stuff like that.
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: I bought her gifts because I'm a giver. I like
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: to give.
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: She sent them back to me and bought a card
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: with love heart on it and in it it said
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: Hi Lola. Given the circumstances, I don't feel it's right
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: keeping this stuff from Sandra.
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: I left it.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: I just thought, you know, what. I never sent anything back.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: I thought, you know what, Nah, no, I'm not doing it.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: I looked back and I just thought, you know what,
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: what the actual fuck? I have been going through cancer
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: for the last three four years. I have gone through
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: things that she couldn't imagine going through, you know, especially
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: when it's so personal like breast cancer, losing your femininity,
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: your body parts, your soul, your life, and then to
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: have someone just turn on you like like that, it's
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: just like fuck you, fuck you. And then that's when
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: the anger sets in and I'm like, you know what,
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: I'm living with stage four now. I'm not gonna waste
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: my time or however much time I'm going to be
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: able to have on this bullshit. So I'm going to
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: give you exactly what you're going to get, and that's
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: nothing from me. Literally, you're gonna get nothing from me.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: I didn't come through all of this to get to
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: the other side to be told and ghas led at
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: my own wedding that this didn't happen and to never
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: contact you again. And then I've chosen other people over her.
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: So that's where I'm at now. I'm just numb.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: Lola had been through the angry stage and the sadness
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: of it all. Now she felt there was nothing more
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: to give. She didn't want to drive herself crazy wondering
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: how or why it got to this point where her
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: old best friend had gone.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: Four or five years of friendship. We've never had a
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: fight on anything, you know. I looked up to her
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: because she is twenty years my senior. I looked at
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: her like, you know, an older sister type figure and
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: just someone that I, you know, can who's done life.
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: Because of her age and because of what I was
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: going through. It connected us because it felt like I
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: was at the same level in terms of age and life,
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: because I'd gone through this. It felt like we're on
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: the same sort of like path. And then for her
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: to think over one thing out of everything else, or
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: one thing, was she got shitty at me because I
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: believed my friends over her.
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: That just tells the whole story right there.
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: It was never it was never about the frendship was
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: always about her and what I could give her. Not
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: working both ways. It's a slap in the face because
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: it's not just a Frindchhi. You spent time with this person,
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: you know them intimately. It just baffles me.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: Balola understands, perhaps more than many, that life will throw
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: you curveballs, sometimes ones that can change the entire course
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: of your journey, the way you look at things and
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: the very core of who you are.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: And I think old version of me would have just
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: given her a mouthful and would have just told her
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: step by step, this, this, this and this. But this
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: me is like, I'm not wasting my time when I've
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: still got a life to live, like, there's still so
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: much out there, some of my best days are still
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: to come. No, I'm not going to let this out
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: of everything define or beat me.
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: No freaking way.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: Going through cancer, things don't hurt you as much you
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: become so.
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: How can I say it? Tough?
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: Really tough. You see things so differently. When people complain
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: about money or this or that, I'm like, you have
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: an opportunity to fix that. You can't fix your help.
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: Once it's done, it's done. That's it, you know it,
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: Just you are profoundly changed forever. No one can hurt
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: me as much as what cancers hurt me. That's the
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: honest truth. I still look back on the fun times.
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: I don't see it all as this horrible, horrible thing.
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: I still look back and laugh at some of the
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: stuff adventures we've gone on and the girls' trips we've donet.
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: I don't have any sort of tainted experience. Even w
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: when she would have those dark, depressing times where she
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: would feel ugly or fad or disgusting, I'd be like,
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: oh my god, you're amazing. I'd blow shit up her
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: ass because I'd felt it, and I still feel like
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: that to this day. So there's no hate or animosity.
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: It's more I'm disappointed. I'm more disappointed. It doesn't affect
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: me like it would have before. It's sort of all right,
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: thank you for the good time, see you later.
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: I wish you well. That's it.
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: If I ran into her, I would still say how
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: are you?
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: And you look amazing.
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: I think I would say, you know, I'm sad about
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: what had happened. However, I'm at this point in my
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: life that I just don't feel like it's necessary.
• 35:52
  Speaker 3: We had high highs.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: And low lows, and the lows obviously was the cancer,
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: and you know have relationship breakdowns on that, but the
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: highs were higher than the lows any day, no matter
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: how sick I was.
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: So that I do love.
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: And I will always cherish, but for now it's left
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: me still in a good place. I like where my
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: life is going, and I'm okay with it to leave
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: it where it is.
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: Everyone has an ex best friend. He's a Minti Media
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: production and proudly part of the Mum and mea network.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: This interview was conducted and the episode written by me
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: Georgia Love and produced by Linda Scott. If you have
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: a story you'd like to share, email Everyone has an
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: Ex at Mintimedia dot com dotu. You can support us
• 36:48
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• 36:50
  Speaker 1: leaving a five star review.