Latest / Why Not Today? with Leslie Kane / The Why Not Today? Podcast - Season 2 - Episode 30 with Kendra Roehl & Julie Fisk, The Ruth Experience

Transcript

The Why Not Today? Podcast - Season 2 - Episode 30 with Kendra Roehl & Julie Fisk, The Ruth Experience · Why Not Today? with Leslie Kane

• 0:00
  Welcome to the Why Not Today podcast where we celebrate courage, determination, and the
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  power of saying, Why Not Today?
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  I'm your host, Leslie Cain.
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  Each episode, we dive into inspiring stories of individuals who have taken bold steps,
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  faced their fears, and embraced the possibility of today.
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  For entrepreneurs, to artists, to dreamers, to doers, we explore the moments when they
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  said, Enough waiting, Why Not Today?
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  Join me as we uncover the heartwarming, the audacious, and the transformation.
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  Whether it's pursuing a lifelong passion, overcoming obstacles, or simply choosing joy,
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  our guests share their journeys and inspire us all.
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  This podcast is an honor of my father's legacy, Patrick Cain, who often did say, Why Not Today?
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  So remember, you're just one decision away from changing your life.
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  And I'm super excited about my guests today because I just met them five minutes ago.
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  And I always talk about the connections and where I meet people and how they connect.
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  And it's been such a fun journey with this podcast of how God is just putting people
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  on a path.
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  And I'm listening.
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  And I'm saying, Why Not Today?
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  And reaching out to the people.
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  So Kendra and Julie have a business called The Ruth Experience.
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  And I first found them on Christmas Eve.
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  I had brunch with a friend and treated myself to Barnes & Noble, which is one of my favorite
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  things.
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  I was reading a new devotional and I found one that they had written about friendship.
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  And I just spoke to my heart every day a devotional that you read about friendship.
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  And that's a lot about what the podcast is about, is friends and connections and community.
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  And then I was looking at their information and they wrote a book about daily acts of kindness.
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  And February, the kind of the theme we're having this month is, Why Not Today Love Yourself?
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  And so the Rind of Max of Kindness, I think goes hand in hands or acts of kindness.
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  And as I was looking at dates and holidays and stuff, it just popped up that the day
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  this episode will post is random acts of kindness day.
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  So I reached out to them and we made this happen quickly.
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  So thank you, Kendra and Julie, for being flexible and being ready spontaneous.
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  And I think this is the first episode we've had two guests.
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  So we're going to just have some fun.
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  So why don't you guys introduce yourself, which is a quick bio of who you are and a
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  fun fact, and then we'll talk about courage and the reef experience.
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  So I don't know who wants to go first.
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  Sure.
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  I can go first.
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  So my name is Kendra Reel.
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  I live in central Minnesota with my husband.
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  We have five kids, three of our five kids we adopted from foster care.
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  And so we have quite a span in ages.
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  That's kind of the fun fact about me.
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  Our oldest is 33.
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  Our youngest is 10.
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  And we have three in the middle.
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  So yeah, yeah.
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  So that's just a little bit about me.
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  Julie and I have actually been friends for many, many years.
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  And so that's how we started writing together, but we can talk more about that too.
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  So yeah.
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  Yes.
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  So and I'm Julie, Julie Fisk, and I also live in central Minnesota, married to my husband
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  Aaron for almost 25 years.
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  We're getting close.
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  Wow.
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  So yeah, we have some pictures, I'm about to have a driver in my family, and then two
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  dogs.
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  Okay.
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  Fun fact about me, I grew up in a farm 30 minutes from where I live.
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  And when I was in sixth grade, I told my mother that I was going to move and never return.
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  And I am the only one still in the state of Minnesota in my immediate family.
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  So we joke about that sometimes.
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  You have to be really careful about my nevers.
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  Yes.
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  I have one of those.
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  I'm a sales director with Mary Kay, and I remember a friend of my mom started selling
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  Mary Kay, I'm like, do not ever talk to me.
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  I will never sell it.
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  I will never wear it.
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  And 29 years ago, I started my Mary Kay business.
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  So be careful with it ever.
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  Totally agree.
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  And I can relate, although I never, I don't think I said I was going to move, but I have
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  lived in the same town since I was two and about a five mile radius.
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  And it's interesting.
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  I'd go to people's houses that lived in small towns and say, gosh, how do you live here your
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  whole life?
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  And then one day I woke up, I'm like, wait, I'm the same place.
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  But the difference is I'm outside of 20 minutes outside of Washington, DC.
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  And the town I live in is actually not even a town.
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  It's a planned community.
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  And it is about as old as me.
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  And so it has grown up from a dirt road to a huge metropolis with the metro and everything.
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  So it's grown up around me.
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  We both grown together.
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  So there you go.
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  All right.
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  So let's start with courage.
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  What is your definition of courage?
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  You know, I love this question.
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  I think my definition of courage is simply being willing to do it afraid, whatever that
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  thing is.
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  And that has been at least my theme for my life because I am someone who from a young
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  age, from childhood, has been kind of timid and felt scared about things.
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  And finally, and it's not even a quote from me, someone else said it, but I have adopted
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  it and made it my own, that idea of like, you don't have to wait until you feel great
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  or you're not afraid or whatever.
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  Just do it afraid.
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  Just do it afraid.
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  And so for me, that that's what courage is.
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  Yeah.
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  And how often, I mean, everything we do afraid.
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  Oh, yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  Especially the first time.
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  You're not living your life.
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  Right.
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  Exactly.
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  You're not trying maybe new things or yeah, for sure.
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  You're being comfortable.
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  How about you?
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  I was afraid to go second on this one because Kendra and I have been friends for so long
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  and we've done life together for so long that I don't know if I adapted yours Kendra or
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  you adapted mine, but I feel the same way about courage.
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  Learning to do something even though you're still trepidatious, even though it feels uncertain
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  and a little scary.
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  I don't think it's possible to do something new when it doesn't feel a little trepidatious
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  or a little scary.
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  So everything new that I've done, every big thing that I've done, I've been scared when
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  I did it.
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  Right.
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  Yeah, there's a book that I've quoted and taught and talked about for years called Feel
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  the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers.
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  And I pulled it out recently and unfortunately, I guess she's passed away a couple of years
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  ago, but she talked about everything we do.
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  If you're growing, you're going to be fearful.
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  But you just got to lean into it and do it and think about what's the worst thing that's
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  going to happen.
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  And somebody I listened to the other day, they said there's two kind of decisions.
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  One's the closed door decision.
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  You make the decision, there is no going back.
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  And that you need to think a little bit about.
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  But the other one is that there's a possibility, if you're 51% sure, he's like, just do it.
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  And he said, those are the things that, you know, if it doesn't work, try again, do something
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  else you're going to learn.
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  Pick up the lesson.
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  Right.
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  Right.
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  Yeah.
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  So, all right, to the Ruth experience.
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  So I know there's three of you.
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  So who is the third is?
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  So the third is actually my sister, Kristen, younger sister.
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  And we started the Ruth experience how long ago?
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  Was it now Julie, like 13 years ago?
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  At least.
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  So yeah, tell me the story.
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  How'd you guys get here?
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  Well, Julie and I have been friends for years, even prior to writing together.
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  We were going to women's conferences for a lot of years and speaking about having courage,
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  we had gone to a women's conference probably 15 years ago.
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  And Julie and I both have degrees and we're working in fields that we're not pertaining
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  to writing specifically.
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  And we left this conference feeling very inspired and Julie said to me, I think we should write
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  a book.
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  And we were like, I kind of felt that too.
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  But then we sat down and we couldn't really come up with an idea that.
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  So let me ask you a quick question before you go.
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  Women's conferences was what kind of were there because I know your books are devotional.
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  So there were women, spirit, Christian spirit.
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  So the spiritual a women's conference that was, but it was definitely, you know, kind
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  of along that same theme of like courage, like what do you want to do?
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  What is God speaking to you, you know, being willing to take steps and to do things and
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  to step out.
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  And so we were feeling really inspired, but just didn't go anywhere that first year.
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  We went back the next year.
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  And I can't remember what the theme was that year, Julie.
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  I don't know if you remember or not specifically.
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  I don't remember, but it was Suzy Larson who was speaking.
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  Yeah.
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  And immediately after, excuse me, immediately after she spoke Kendra and I sat down and
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  I think we wrote the table of contents in 30 minutes.
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  It just downloaded for us.
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  And yeah, and we had both independently prayed, you know, and said, if you actually want to
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  start a book, you're going to need to tell us what to write because we felt a little
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  bit like everything under the sun had been written.
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  And so had left it the year before kind of had gone through that summer and just left
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  it and thought, well, something's bubbling, but we don't know what.
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  And then yeah, that was our first book.
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  So which one was your first book?
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  So that was actually called the roof experience.
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  Okay.
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  So what's the story behind it?
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  So we, so Julie and I were part of a church launch many, many years ago.
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  And part of that group of people that got together was women and families that really
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  kind of came not really having a faith background.
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  And so Julie and I had both grown up in the church.
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  And so one of the things that had been one of my favorite things about that was we called
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  it a tea and testimony night where women would come and they would share, you know, something
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  that God had done in their lives.
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  Well, we wanted to have that sort of an event, but we didn't want to call it tea and testimony
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  because we wanted to attract younger people to come to it.
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  And so we, as we were thinking about what we could call it, we were actually reading
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  the book of Ruth at the time in the Bible.
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  And so we thought, let's call it the roof experience because that's really what it is.
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  It's this idea of women doing life together, journeying through life, encouraging one another
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  when someone is up, the other person is down and the other, you know, they come together.
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  And just how God kind of weaves our relationship with one another to build support and to chase
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  dreams and to all of that.
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  And so that's what we ended up calling that group when we would come together.
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  So as we started writing, we thought, you know, the Ruth experience, that idea is something
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  that we want to create.
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  Our first book is based on that, but then also this online community that we have is really
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  meant for women to come and to find support and to find other women who are, you know,
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  just coming together, doing life together, encouraging and supporting all while, you
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  know, being honest and real about where we are in life and the struggles that we have
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  and all of that.
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  So that's really kind of the how the Ruth experience came to be.
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  We do have to explain that all the time.
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  And we have honestly tried to come up with another name and we're like, we just can't
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  do it.
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  We can't do it.
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  And, you know, it's interesting not even knowing that story and God putting me in that Barnes
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  and Noble and grabbing that book, I mean, is not by accident.
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  And because as we talked about before we started, the podcast is women are looking for friends
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  and connections.
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  And I am not married and single and never been married and have lots of great friends
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  and a friend of mine a couple of years ago got divorced and we were talking about it.
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  And I've learned how to be single and thrive and not just survive because I've got such
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  a powerful tribe around me.
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  And a lot of women don't have that to lift you up and you need those because life is not
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  always perfect and to be encouraging.
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  So I've tried to be that encourager for a lot of people and surround myself with like-minded
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  people.
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  And where this podcast, I really feel like it's going is to build communities just like
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  you guys talked about to be around like-minded people to help support each other.
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  So what is the Ruth experience book?
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  Let's talk about that.
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  Is it a devotional or is it like the other ones?
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  Because I don't have that one yet.
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  I have so many books you guys are going to make me get more books.
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  It's a self-published book.
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  It's our very earliest.
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  So we just put a little caveat on there.
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  Like we love the girls we were when we were writing that first book, but that was our
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  first attempt.
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  And so I'm not always sure if I want to refer people to that book.
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  But it was what we did is we took that story, that friendship of Ruth and Naomi and we walked
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  through it in this book.
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  But then we interspersed that journey that Ruth and Naomi went on with interviews of women
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  and facing similar situations.
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  And so really it's that we just teased apart what that entire relationship looked like
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  for those two women and then wove in current modern day women's stories because it transcends
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  age, it transcends culture.
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  These were women that were different generations.
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  It was a mother-in-law and her daughter, which we always love to pit mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws
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  against each other.
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  And so just all of these ways that God worked these lives around in this gorgeous redemption
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  arc because Ruth is listed in the lineage of Jesus.
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  She's one of very few women that was intentionally, scripturally included.
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  So there's just so much richness to that story.
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  So that's our first book.
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  I'm not a devotional, I'm only non-devotional and our very first book.
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  So I just put that little.
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  Okay, well, I definitely needed it.
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  Put it on, it was on, but you know.
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  Well, you know what I found too, and all the guests I've talked to, there's a story behind
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  the story.
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  Like I talked to, like one woman did a newspaper, I'm like, oh, okay, I want to talk to her.
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  It's a local newspaper.
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  And but found out that she has a seizure disorder and can't drive.
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  And the reason she can do the newspaper with three teenage active kids in Northern Virginia
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  is that she can't drive them.
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  She can't be a taxi driver.
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  And so she has the time to put into the paper because her husband is basically the Uber
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  driver in the family.
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  You know, in the past, she never would have ended up here if it wasn't for her disorder.
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  You know, so you just never know somebody's story behind the story.
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  So I definitely would love to read that.
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  And because I love hearing people's stories and then that how we relate.
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  And totally, you know, with the podcast, I've had people say that listening to this, it
• 14:50
  gives them permission to say yes themselves and give them hope.
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  That's important.
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  Yeah.
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  So let's talk about your other books and then let's talk about other books and then let's
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  wrap it around with the daily acts of kindness last and we can talk about that.
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  Okay.
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  So after that, okay, you're going to ask us that.
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  What is the official count, Julie?
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  Nine on shelves.
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  We've got a couple under contract.
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  So that's really cool.
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  And you guys weren't book writers.
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  No idea what you're doing.
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  You're having to figure this out.
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  It's amazing how many people I've had on the podcast that are just figuring out and talking
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  to somebody that wrote a book that she was like, everybody keeps asking me and how to
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  do it.
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  And I'm like, there needs to be courses on that.
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  And I told her, I said, you need to work on helping other people and figure it out how
• 15:44
  to launch it.
• 15:45
  Yeah.
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  And all the things because it's definitely a science to it as well.
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  Yeah.
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  Absolutely.
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  We've learned a lot.
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  I mean, you don't always realize how much you've learned until you start to talk to somebody
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  and you're like, oh, there's a lot to learn.
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  And I think that's impressive that you're in a Barnes & Noble in right outside of DC.
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  Yeah.
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  That's exciting.
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  Yeah.
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  That's very exciting.
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  So, all right.
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  So nine books plus.
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  Yes.
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  So let's talk about some of the other books.
• 16:11
  What are some of your favorites maybe?
• 16:13
  Or.
• 16:14
  So we have all your babies.
• 16:16
  Yeah, they are.
• 16:17
  That's, that's the trouble is like saying which one's our favorite.
• 16:20
  But, you know, talking just generally the backstory on all of these books, we say we
• 16:24
  write the resources that we need.
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  And so any of our books, even though there's varied on the topics, we have friendship,
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  like you said, we have kindness.
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  We have one called one good word and then gratitude daily acts of gratitude just came
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  out last October.
• 16:41
  But we always start by kind of writing the things that we need that we're practicing
• 16:45
  in our lives or that we're practicing within our families.
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  And so that's really kind of the heart behind any book that you pick up of ours.
• 16:54
  Along, you know, you mentioned the friendship.
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  We also did a, when we started writing that book and started talking to women about their
• 17:03
  stories, we found that so much of what happens around friendship.
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  And a lot of the really harder stories that women would share with us started in childhood
• 17:12
  or as teenagers.
• 17:14
  And so we actually went back to our publisher at that time and said, can we write a book
• 17:18
  for girls because we really feel like this is kind of when a lot of this stuff comes
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  up and they, and they agreed.
• 17:25
  And so we actually, you know, we have the 365 friendship was, which is for women, but
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  then we, we did write a hundred daily acts of friendship for girls as well because we
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  really thought goodness, this is, we have girls ourselves, but this is so important
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  for us to learn healthy friendship habits at a young age, at a young age.
• 17:48
  So, absolutely.
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  So you need to go back and listen to the episode.
• 17:54
  Now I'm blanking on our first name, but she has a company called Brave Girl Tribe and
• 18:02
  a community around working with teenagers.
• 18:07
  And so, yeah, same kind of premise.
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  And with my Mary Kay business, I really work on courage and confidence with women, but
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  also young girls, they say in women's self-esteem is highest at age 10.
• 18:19
  I would believe it.
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  Bad.
• 18:22
  I would believe it.
• 18:23
  I was with somebody yesterday and she's a 50-some-year-old woman and she wanted to put makeup on.
• 18:28
  She never wears it.
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  She's like, I don't want anybody to look at me.
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  I don't want anybody to pay attention to me.
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  I don't want to notice me.
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  I don't want to wear lipstick.
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  I'm like, first of all, they don't pay that much attention to you.
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  Hate to say it.
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  But, you know, so sad.
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  You know, luckily she doesn't have a daughter, but she has a son.
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  But what we're passing on.
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  Yeah.
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  So, I love that.
• 18:52
  Can't wait to.
• 18:53
  So, is that written yet or?
• 18:54
  Yep.
• 18:55
  That one is out.
• 18:56
  That one came out, goodness, a couple of years ago now.
• 19:01
  And then going on to kindness, this was actually, Daily Acts of Kindness was the first 365 devotional
• 19:08
  that we wrote.
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  And so we...
• 19:12
  That's a lot too.
• 19:13
  It is.
• 19:14
  It's funny because we had originally thought we were going to write a trade book around
• 19:19
  kindness.
• 19:20
  So just like a chapter book around this idea of kindness, but we did kind of acts amongst
• 19:27
  our three families for an entire year.
• 19:29
  Yeah.
• 19:30
  Talk about that story.
• 19:31
  That's really cool.
• 19:32
  Yeah.
• 19:33
  So we used to do when our kids were little, we started doing Daily Acts of Kindness around
• 19:39
  Christmas time because for us, when our kids were small, it was like trying to find tangible
• 19:45
  ways to bring in the idea of Christmas and the real meaning of Christmas.
• 19:51
  And that is not just about me and what it is that I want, what's on my Christmas list.
• 19:56
  And so we, as the three of us started doing Daily Acts of Kindness with our families at
• 20:01
  Christmas time, we did that for a couple of years.
• 20:05
  And then my sister, Kristen, said, why don't we do a year of kindness and just continue
• 20:10
  this on?
• 20:11
  And so we did.
• 20:12
  We did an entire year of kindness.
• 20:14
  We have a Google Doc to prove it.
• 20:18
  And then we met with a publisher about our idea of writing on kindness because we're like,
• 20:22
  we've been doing this enough that we feel like we have some experience that we could
• 20:26
  share with other people.
• 20:28
  And she was actually the one who suggested, she said, well, if you've done a year of kindness,
• 20:33
  why don't we make this into a devotional?
• 20:38
  And so Tyndale already has their one year line.
• 20:41
  And she said, I really think that this would fit well within that.
• 20:45
  We had never written a devotional like that before.
• 20:48
  And so we thought, well, this, we'll try it for sure.
• 20:52
  We'll try it.
• 20:53
  And so that's really how that devotional came to be.
• 20:56
  You talk about favorites.
• 20:58
  This one might be my favorite just because it was our first.
• 21:02
  And I feel like for us, it was that first really big step, not just within our writing,
• 21:08
  but I feel like with our families as well to be practicing some of these things out.
• 21:14
  So yeah.
• 21:15
  And I love stories that you guys started as a family, as your family's doing this and
• 21:22
  then passing it on.
• 21:24
  And then may I share?
• 21:26
  Yeah.
• 21:27
  Sorry, Julie, interrupted you.
• 21:29
  Oh, that's okay.
• 21:30
  And when Kendra says that we write the books that we need, I mean, we are not, we always
• 21:36
  are honest in saying we're not experts.
• 21:39
  We're women on a journey and we're just inviting other people to journey along with us.
• 21:43
  And I distinctly remember one day we were in the middle of that manuscript for kindness
• 21:47
  and I came home and I don't remember what I had done.
• 21:50
  I don't remember what the day had been, but I walked in the door and I said to my husband,
• 21:56
  I am not kind.
• 21:58
  Why am I writing a book on kindness?
• 22:00
  And there's something about the practice or the attempt or the journey where there are
• 22:07
  moments where you see your blind spots or you see your weaknesses or you see opportunities
• 22:14
  for growth within yourself.
• 22:15
  And so each of these books, we are never experts like telling people like, this is what you
• 22:22
  need to do.
• 22:23
  It really is this invitation to say, come and learn to do this with me.
• 22:28
  And we are honest in sharing some of the ways in which we've struggled or we've fallen a
• 22:34
  little bit short.
• 22:35
  So it's always a gentle invitation because that's what life is about.
• 22:40
  We're not going to get there.
• 22:43
  We're on a journey.
• 22:44
  And so just, I think maybe accepting that and then working towards growth.
• 22:50
  I love that.
• 22:51
  Like, and you could hear it in your voice, just the invitation.
• 22:55
  And it's interesting.
• 22:56
  I think I was ever done the one word.
• 22:59
  Have you heard of that or my intent?
• 23:02
  So my word this year, and it ties in just what you said.
• 23:06
  What we do is what we need.
• 23:09
  So my word this year is brave.
• 23:11
  And you think, you know, I'm wrapped all and talking all the people about their courage
• 23:14
  and everything.
• 23:15
  But I had to be brave and turn the podcast into a business.
• 23:20
  And I've been talking about it for a while.
• 23:22
  And so finally, my word was brave in January 2nd.
• 23:24
  I did the LLC, which took all of five minutes, but having to learn a whole new business and
• 23:29
  how to set up a business and all the things that sometimes I hear myself saying, I don't
• 23:34
  want to do that.
• 23:35
  I'm like, okay, but how can you be talking about courage to everybody and encouraging
• 23:38
  everybody else to be courageous and not doing it yourself?
• 23:42
  Right.
• 23:43
  Good to see you for taking that step, Leslie.
• 23:45
  Yeah.
• 23:46
  So it's a little scary sometimes.
• 23:47
  It's like, what am I doing?
• 23:49
  Leaving the comfort of a business.
• 23:51
  I'm not that I'm leaving it, but putting tension here.
• 23:55
  And you know, I did the same thing 24 years ago when I quit my full time job to pursue
• 23:59
  Mary Kay.
• 24:01
  And I'm like, look, and I talk about all the time.
• 24:02
  I'm like, okay, it's time to have that brave step again.
• 24:05
  All right.
• 24:06
  So kindness.
• 24:08
  What was your most impactful or most heartwarming kindness act that you guys did in those years?
• 24:16
  Or you talked about what's the one that really stands out either you did or your kids or
• 24:20
  that made a difference.
• 24:22
  And I assume it's probably something super teeny, tiny and not big, but it could be.
• 24:29
  Do you have one?
• 24:32
  You know, I, I have just generally like you're right.
• 24:37
  It has, it's not big ones.
• 24:39
  It's ones that my kids have done that were things that I wasn't necessarily passionate
• 24:45
  about myself, but they became very passionate about.
• 24:48
  And it's not that I didn't think they were good things.
• 24:50
  I mean, we're good things, but it's like, it, it was really kind of, for me, most impactful
• 24:56
  to see that they had their own kind of internal like awareness and awakening like to a need
• 25:03
  that someone had.
• 25:04
  So for example, my son who was a teenager at the time and who was kind of going through
• 25:12
  a really hard time himself, but he really, when we started doing kind acts, especially
• 25:17
  at Christmas, he was so passionate about wanting to help people who were homeless.
• 25:23
  And so one thing that we did was we would make packs that we could give out to people
• 25:28
  who were homeless when we saw them on the street.
• 25:31
  And so we would do that.
• 25:32
  But then one day we saw someone, it was in, in December in Minnesota, which is usually
• 25:37
  quite snow, quite cold in there with snow.
• 25:40
  And we saw someone and he said, can we go get him a cup of coffee?
• 25:43
  And so I thought, yeah, let's do it.
• 25:45
  Cause we were just out running errands.
• 25:46
  So we got a cup of coffee.
• 25:47
  He picked out a muffin too that he thought this man would like.
• 25:51
  And he walked over to, we went back to the parking lot where he was.
• 25:54
  My son got out and walked over to him and just had this, I kind of stayed back to allow
• 26:00
  him to have that experience.
• 26:02
  And this man just, he, my son had his Vikings jersey on.
• 26:05
  And so he immediately was like, are you Vikings fan?
• 26:08
  They had this beautiful interaction that really had nothing to do with me at that point, which
• 26:14
  was good.
• 26:16
  And that just watching that and observing that was like very impactful for me because
• 26:21
  a lot of times we do things for ourselves and that's good and we can have growth.
• 26:27
  But when you start to see the growth in the people around you as well and the things that
• 26:31
  matter to them, I feel like that was something that was really meaningful and encouraged me
• 26:38
  to be like, okay, this is, this is good, not just for me, but this is good to be doing
• 26:42
  with our kids for them to have these experiences as well.
• 26:46
  Yeah.
• 26:47
  I mean, what we pass on is such a difference.
• 26:48
  I remember one time my nephew and he was probably teenage, maybe beginning of college, something
• 26:54
  he was somewhere and there was somebody on the corner or whatever and he gave him some
• 26:59
  money and his friends like, what are you doing?
• 27:02
  And Sam's like, my grandma always said, what if it's Jesus?
• 27:06
  And he says, so like he's learning it from my mom and you know, passing it on.
• 27:12
  Yeah.
• 27:13
  All right, Jolie.
• 27:14
  What's your favorite?
• 27:16
  So there's many, but this is the story that always reminds me that those little things
• 27:22
  matter intensely.
• 27:23
  So when my daughter was an infant, she was at a daycare center with another little girl
• 27:31
  who they shared the same name.
• 27:32
  So they were very similar in age and they had the same name.
• 27:35
  Mom and I also had the same name.
• 27:38
  Oh wow.
• 27:39
  And we knew, we knew of each other, but we did not, we weren't, we weren't even acquaintances.
• 27:44
  We just knew of one another.
• 27:45
  And so I found out that her little girl was facing some pretty serious, pretty scary surgery.
• 27:52
  And so I wrote her a note.
• 27:56
  And I mailed the note and I literally forgot about it for, I think, 10 years.
• 28:02
  And I was on my way to a business luncheon and I was late and my shoes were like not
• 28:07
  fitting and I was running in and they were setting up this table for all of us stragglers
• 28:12
  at the very back of this luncheon and I was sad because I was supposed to be there to
• 28:17
  network and here I am late and flustered and I'm on this table and the very, very back.
• 28:22
  And I sit next to this other woman named Julie and I have forgotten that I ever wrote a note.
• 28:28
  I have forgotten completely about the story.
• 28:31
  And so we have lunch and we're visiting and we get to the very end of the lunch and she
• 28:37
  says to me, I just have to tell you how much that note you wrote to me all those years
• 28:43
  ago meant and I still have it.
• 28:45
  I kept it.
• 28:46
  Wow.
• 28:47
  And I got out into my car and I just started crying because, you know, sometimes those
• 28:54
  nudges that we get to do something and it just feels little and it's a bit of an inconvenience
• 29:00
  and we think to ourselves, it doesn't really matter.
• 29:05
  Clearly mattered.
• 29:06
  Clearly mattered.
• 29:07
  So that reminded me to always be, I mean, not always, I'm not always great.
• 29:12
  Always is a big word.
• 29:15
  But to try when I get that nudge to send the text, make the call, send the email, send
• 29:22
  the note, like do the thing because you just don't know.
• 29:25
  Yeah.
• 29:26
  Why not today?
• 29:27
  Why not today?
• 29:28
  That's right.
• 29:29
  Yeah.
• 29:30
  I totally agree and I try to follow that myself and just, you know, when that person pops
• 29:34
  up in your mind, just send them a text, I have a friend that if she's in, she goes to
• 29:38
  the drive-thru Starbucks purposely instead of going inside.
• 29:41
  So while she's there as people and she has a ministry as well, as people pop up, she
• 29:45
  sends them a note and it's just, you know, those little things you don't think make a
• 29:49
  difference.
• 29:50
  Right.
• 29:51
  So make a difference.
• 29:52
  I don't have it on today, but I normally wear a starfish necklace.
• 29:54
  You guys know the story of the starfish?
• 29:56
  Yes, I have heard that before.
• 29:59
  You heard it, Julie.
• 30:00
  I, it's tickling in the back of my mind.
• 30:03
  I was walking on the beach and throwing starfish in the ocean and this older man comes up and
• 30:11
  he goes, what are you doing?
• 30:12
  He goes, I'm saving the starfish.
• 30:14
  And he goes, there's thousands on this beach.
• 30:17
  How can you make a difference?
• 30:18
  And he picked one up and threw it in the ocean.
• 30:19
  He says, I made a difference in that one.
• 30:22
  And so I really try to live by that.
• 30:24
  Like you just never know you're going to make a difference and that one person could make
• 30:29
  a difference in your life and really follow like God's nudges.
• 30:33
  Like you guys just saying, you know what?
• 30:35
  I'm going to ask what's the worst thing I can say?
• 30:37
  A friend of mine that I was just mentioning, she has a ministry and it's called Faithfully
• 30:41
  Following and several years ago she had a challenge to share a scripture for a week
• 30:46
  on social media.
• 30:47
  And I started doing it when I do my devotionals.
• 30:50
  I would Google because I'm very visual.
• 30:53
  I would Google the scripture and come up with a picture that spoke to me and post it.
• 30:58
  Well, this was years ago and I still do it almost every day.
• 31:03
  And the reason I will never stop is when I did it, a friend of mine, son who's very
• 31:07
  close to me, he calls me fake aunt Leslie, he said, I wake up when he was like 16.
• 31:12
  He goes, I wake up in the morning and look at Instagram to see what you posted every
• 31:17
  day to start my day.
• 31:18
  And I have people all the time, kind of like you Julie, you never know that people walk
• 31:22
  up to me.
• 31:23
  Somebody yesterday is like, oh my gosh, I see everything you post on social media and it's
• 31:26
  so inspiring and you think nobody's paying any attention to anything we're doing.
• 31:31
  So now I have added inspirational posts every day along the why not today message.
• 31:39
  And just something inspirational just to help people with their day because those little
• 31:45
  things definitely make a difference.
• 31:48
  You just never know whose life we've touched.
• 31:52
  Yeah.
• 31:54
  Yeah, and so this weekend, so I was this, I guess Saturday is random acts of kindness
• 31:59
  day.
• 32:00
  I distinctly remember when this movement came about.
• 32:02
  Do you guys remember that?
• 32:03
  It was actually, there was an article in the paper and I think I have it cut out somewhere
• 32:07
  in my world.
• 32:09
  And either I bought it or I had it made a stamp rubber stamp that said random acts practice
• 32:15
  a random act of kindness today.
• 32:17
  Yeah, something along that line.
• 32:19
  So that has been spinning in my world and I know I was working and I left my job 24 years
• 32:25
  ago.
• 32:26
  So it is a long time ago.
• 32:27
  I need to look, but it has always spoke to me.
• 32:30
  So how we've come full circle to this, you know, to do a random act of kindness.
• 32:34
  I think I mentioned to you guys when we started how perfect timing this is because lent started
• 32:40
  yesterday.
• 32:41
  So, you know, 40 days of, you know, if you're a Christian Catholic and celebrate lent and
• 32:49
  celebrate practice, I don't know what the.
• 32:52
  Observe.
• 32:53
  Observe.
• 32:54
  Observe.
• 32:55
  That, you know, they always talk about give up chocolate or give up this and I always try
• 32:57
  to, instead of giving up something, add something to my life.
• 33:01
  Like what can I do to give back to somebody else or do something?
• 33:06
  In the radio station, this local here, they do drive through Difference Thursday, where
• 33:10
  they challenge everybody on Thursdays to pay for the person behind them in the drive through.
• 33:16
  And so, you know, what are those little things as people are listening to this podcast, whether
• 33:20
  it's when it's coming out during that or anytime you're listening to it, like think, really
• 33:25
  think, challenge everybody to why not today do something kind for somebody else?
• 33:31
  It's that little thing and it doesn't even have to be, you know, that people, you could
• 33:37
  just do it anonymously.
• 33:39
  Absolutely.
• 33:40
  You don't have to do it, be big and boastful about it.
• 33:44
  But just, you know, and even, you know, the world of social media, as we were talking
• 33:47
  about young girls and how terrible it is and how hard it is, like social media for adults
• 33:53
  is just as toxic.
• 33:55
  But what if you went every day and just sent a private message to somebody you're thinking
• 34:00
  about them or, you know, I've been watching people on social media and you can really
• 34:04
  see the people that are hurting.
• 34:05
  They put things out on social, you know, they're really in bad shape.
• 34:09
  Or sometimes you can, it looks all unicorn and amazing, but you can see, you know, pay
• 34:16
  attention to what's going on behind the scenes.
• 34:20
  Yeah.
• 34:21
  Because, and reach out to those people because people are hurting.
• 34:24
  Oh yeah.
• 34:25
  Well, and I think, and I think too, I mean, even though it's, it's random acts, if you
• 34:29
  start that day, like let's say, so Saturday's random acts of kindness day, just by thinking,
• 34:37
  you know, who, who could I be a blessing to today?
• 34:39
  And then keeping that in the forefront of your mind, I promise they'll be small little
• 34:43
  opportunities.
• 34:44
  It can be something as simple as holding the door open for somebody who's got their arms
• 34:48
  full behind you or, you know, offering assistance in the grocery store.
• 34:53
  Somebody's looking for something.
• 34:54
  I mean, just simple little things.
• 34:56
  If you, if you start your day by saying, I want to find ways to be a blessing to somebody
• 35:02
  else today, I promise you you'll see them and they're just little things.
• 35:06
  And like you said, like I'm the same way too, where if I hear of a friend who's having a
• 35:11
  hard day, I'll quick send them a text, you know, I'm praying for you or, or, you know,
• 35:18
  following up on something.
• 35:19
  I know that they're having a hard day at work.
• 35:21
  So, you know, maybe the next morning saying, Hey, how did yesterday go?
• 35:24
  Is everything okay?
• 35:25
  Like remembering those things.
• 35:27
  Just remembering those things.
• 35:29
  And, you know, it doesn't, it doesn't take any extra time for us really to do that.
• 35:37
  Right.
• 35:38
  One of my, oh, go ahead.
• 35:40
  Go ahead.
• 35:41
  No.
• 35:42
  One of my favorite things, and it is again, just very easy.
• 35:46
  We will think things in our head that are complimentary.
• 35:49
  Like, Oh, I like that one's purse.
• 35:50
  Or look at how cute your shoes are.
• 35:54
  Or, and it doesn't have to be about appearance.
• 35:56
  You can also, there's so many different ways to compliment a person, but I have learned
• 36:01
  that if I think it, and it's lovely about somebody else, I try really hard to say it,
• 36:06
  even when they are strangers.
• 36:07
  So I have kind of chased somebody down, like in a parking lot, just a little bit, like
• 36:12
  not in a weird, scary way, but to just say whatever it was, I don't remember if it was
• 36:17
  shoes or purse or something.
• 36:20
  It is incredible how people just light up when you compliment them in some way.
• 36:28
  So absolutely.
• 36:29
  And we all, you know, have insecurities and we, you know, we want to, and we want to hear
• 36:33
  our name too.
• 36:34
  If you know somebody's name, that makes a powerful thing.
• 36:37
  So yeah, I was thinking, one thing I have acquired from my mother who acquired my grandmother
• 36:43
  is sending notes, just a card, just some love.
• 36:48
  And I remember one day, it was in February, several years ago, I was just having a bad
• 36:52
  day.
• 36:53
  I think it was during 20, no, 2021.
• 36:55
  I don't know.
• 36:56
  It was just a really bad day.
• 36:58
  And almost to the point like almost get back in bed and get out the other side kind of
• 37:01
  thing.
• 37:02
  And so I went to dollar store and bought a whole bunch of Valentine's cards and I just
• 37:05
  sent them out to a ton of people and just blessed them.
• 37:09
  And so sometimes, you know, when you're having a bad day to bless somebody else, and I had
• 37:12
  this thought, I've never thought this thought until yesterday.
• 37:15
  You know, how much fun is it to get good mail?
• 37:18
  You know, handwritten, a card, I tried to put a sticker on it.
• 37:22
  I pay attention to the stamps I buy, not that anybody else does the pen I use.
• 37:28
  And I was walking my dog yesterday and the mailman was dropping off mail to somebody
• 37:32
  and the woman, I just heard from a distance, she said, oh, it's just probably bills and
• 37:36
  junk.
• 37:38
  And the thought hit my head like, and I was going to ask the mailman, but he was too far
• 37:42
  ahead, I'm like, does it give male men, women joy to see fun mail come in the mail and not
• 37:50
  just bills and junk?
• 37:53
  Like, you know, I never had that thought, but I'm thinking, you know, if that if you're
• 37:58
  delivering mail and I mean, they're delivering junk 90% of the time in my, I live in a condo
• 38:03
  in my building, there's the mailroom and there's a trash can and you literally go and throw
• 38:08
  your mail right in the trash and that's his job and that's their livelihood.
• 38:14
  And hopefully they feel like they're making a difference.
• 38:16
  Yeah.
• 38:17
  But, you know, we need to spread some more love notes to people.
• 38:22
  We do.
• 38:23
  Just joy in giving back.
• 38:25
  So that's what I'm going to be committed to now.
• 38:28
  And I often go to the dollar store or Trader Joe's, I don't know if you guys have Trader
• 38:31
  Joe's, they have the best cards now, don't ever go to Target and buy cards because they
• 38:35
  cost you an arm and a leg, but I buy cards and just keep them.
• 38:39
  And then when somebody pops in my head, I'll just send the cards.
• 38:43
  Yes, such a good idea.
• 38:45
  Yeah.
• 38:46
  Oh my gosh, we could talk forever.
• 38:47
  I'm so glad I feel like I have two new friends.
• 38:50
  You do.
• 38:51
  Yay.
• 38:52
  I can't wait to follow all the stuff you guys do.
• 38:54
  So I don't want to have this going forever, but I always end with how would you encourage
• 38:58
  somebody else to say why not today and do the thing, write the book, compliment the person,
• 39:06
  do the kindness.
• 39:08
  Yeah, I would say start where you're at.
• 39:12
  You know, just take one step, whatever that is.
• 39:15
  It doesn't have to be huge.
• 39:17
  It doesn't have to be, I think sometimes we get overwhelmed when we think about an entire
• 39:20
  process.
• 39:22
  And so if you break it down and you're just like, what's one thing I can do today towards
• 39:26
  this goal, whatever that goal is, and taking that one step, I love that phrase, why not
• 39:33
  today?
• 39:34
  Because I think if you say that to yourself often, you'll look back after six months or
• 39:41
  a year and be like, wow, I've taken a lot of steps.
• 39:46
  But it starts with just that first one.
• 39:48
  And going back to what we said at the beginning, just being willing to do it afraid, it's okay
• 39:52
  if you're afraid.
• 39:53
  You can still take that step.
• 39:55
  Absolutely.
• 39:56
  I would say do it imperfectly.
• 39:59
  Don't wait for perfection.
• 40:01
  You're going to learn so much.
• 40:03
  So just start.
• 40:04
  And it doesn't have to be beautiful.
• 40:05
  In fact, it can look terrible or be written badly or just start.
• 40:13
  And then in a year, in six months, like Kendra said, even in three weeks, you're going to
• 40:17
  look back and you're going to see the growth that you have had individually.
• 40:21
  And it's going to be incredible.
• 40:23
  So just your personal perfection.
• 40:27
  It wasn't perfect.
• 40:28
  And my first podcast was not perfect, but I did it.
• 40:32
  We're at 50-some episodes now.
• 40:34
  So just doing it.
• 40:37
  I love that.
• 40:38
  So I always try in the podcast as I talk to people, tie it back to my dad.
• 40:43
  And people are like, I never met your dad.
• 40:44
  And I'm like, no, but what are the things that you guys said?
• 40:48
  So Julie, you said something and I didn't write it down, so it kind of left my brain.
• 40:52
  But there was a connection.
• 40:54
  But Kendra, what you said is your kids.
• 40:58
  I'm one of six kids.
• 41:01
  And we're not all from the same parents.
• 41:03
  People always ask me that.
• 41:04
  And there's eight, it's not as big of a gap, but there is 18 years difference.
• 41:07
  My younger sister is 18 years younger than me.
• 41:10
  So, yeah, it's a big family.
• 41:13
  I love it.
• 41:14
  But it'll come to me as soon as we stop the recording.
• 41:16
  Julie, I'll sign you.
• 41:17
  That's okay.
• 41:18
  So, well, thank you guys for being on and being so spontaneous.
• 41:23
  And let's spend some random acts of kindness to people.
• 41:27
  And if you guys want the books, they're on Amazon, obviously.
• 41:31
  Barnes & Noble.
• 41:32
  Eventually, I've had so many authors on my podcast that eventually I'm going to have
• 41:35
  a link on my website, all the book and how you get them.
• 41:40
  Another thing I have to figure out.
• 41:42
  But thank you guys for being my guests.
• 41:44
  Thank you all our listeners for listening and for watching the podcast.
• 41:48
  We are celebrating two years and less than a month, which is exciting.
• 41:52
  So remember, you can always follow the podcast at whynottodaypodcast.com.
• 41:56
  We started a new Facebook group.
• 41:58
  It's called the Why Not Today Community, where we share and build each other up.
• 42:02
  And you can always get Why Not Today swag like t-shirts and cups from the website.
• 42:06
  And there's always Courage Coat quotes on there.
• 42:09
  So, thanks again, you guys, for being our guests and everybody for watching and listening.
• 42:13
  And remember, say Why Not Today.