Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #1121 - What Neurodivergent Kids Need at School With Madonna King & Rebecca Sparrow
Transcript
- 0:04Speaker 1: It's their Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
- 0:08Speaker 1: time poor parent who just once answers, Now.
- 0:14Speaker 2: Okay, you've got neurodivirgent kids. They don't want to go
- 0:16Speaker 2: to school. School is hard. They feel like they're not confident,
- 0:19Speaker 2: they feel like they get stuff wrong all the time.
- 0:21Speaker 2: Socially things are awkward. Life is hard. Life is really
- 0:26Speaker 2: really hard if you're on neurodiverse God. This is doctor
- 0:29Speaker 2: Justin Colson my guests today, I'm Happy Families Podcast to
- 0:32Speaker 2: wonderful friends too, brilliant thinkers and authors of the brand
- 0:36Speaker 2: new book Out of the Box, a one stop guide
- 0:39Speaker 2: to navigating neurodivergence, Madonna King and Rebecca Sparrow, authors of
- 0:44Speaker 2: multiple books. So many things that we could talk about.
- 0:47Speaker 2: We've got too much to discuss about the book, though,
- 0:49Speaker 2: So can I just leave the intro there and say
- 0:51Speaker 2: congratulations on your new book.
- 0:53Speaker 1: Thanks, justin, thank you, justin thank you.
- 0:56Speaker 2: Got to know when you wrote this book about raising
- 0:58Speaker 2: neurodivergent kids, what stood out to you more than anything?
- 1:02Speaker 2: I'll start with you, Madonna.
- 1:04Speaker 1: I think so many things. The thing that broke my
- 1:07Speaker 1: heart though, is that we have girls, particularly going right
- 1:11Speaker 1: through school from prep to year twelve without being diagnosed,
- 1:15Speaker 1: because in a world where it is so important to
- 1:18Speaker 1: fit in, particularly in social media, they learn to mask
- 1:22Speaker 1: or camouflage their ADHD or autism to the point where
- 1:26Speaker 1: they mimic their friends. They learn when to laugh, they
- 1:29Speaker 1: learn what to wear rather than being themselves. And we
- 1:33Speaker 1: say we put ourselves on the back and say, you know,
- 1:35Speaker 1: we're creating an equal world for our daughters, Well we ain't.
- 1:39Speaker 1: When they are graduating from school and in that year
- 1:42Speaker 1: after school is one of the biggest times when our
- 1:44Speaker 1: neurodivergent girls are diagnosed, because their world implodes without those
- 1:50Speaker 1: structures at home and at school. There's many other things,
- 1:53Speaker 1: but that was the one that made me cry.
- 1:55Speaker 2: I really felt that as I was reading at Madonna,
- 1:57Speaker 2: Let's go to the opposite of the spectrum Beck and
- 2:00Speaker 2: talking about girls who are now graduating school and discovering
- 2:03Speaker 2: that they're autistic or ADHD, you're raising neurodivergent kids much younger.
- 2:08Speaker 2: What was it about writing this book that you found
- 2:11Speaker 2: just stood out to you and was up in neon
- 2:13Speaker 2: lights for you.
- 2:14Speaker 3: Look, I think it's something that I've learnt myself justin
- 2:17Speaker 3: over the years with my own kids and it certainly
- 2:20Speaker 3: came through in the research, which is and it's a
- 2:22Speaker 3: frustration that's sometimes what kids need are the smallest adjustments,
- 2:28Speaker 3: the smallest adjustments justin in class of movement breaks or
- 2:35Speaker 3: instructions written up on the board or whatever it is.
- 2:38Speaker 3: And actually those adjustments usually benefit everybody in the class.
- 2:44Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right. So it's not like it's only for
- 2:47Speaker 2: the neurodivergent kids, right, I mean, the neurotypical kids are
- 2:49Speaker 2: pretty happy to move their bodies and get their wiggles
- 2:51Speaker 2: out as well.
- 2:52Speaker 3: Absolutely, And it frustrates me. And I want to really
- 2:56Speaker 3: stress the point that there were amazing stories about fabulous
- 3:00Speaker 3: teachers and from teachers about the little clever things that
- 3:04Speaker 3: they were doing that they saw not only help the
- 3:07Speaker 3: neurodivergent child in their class, but actually all their classmates.
- 3:10Speaker 3: But it upsets me when we heard stories of parents
- 3:14Speaker 3: who were so frustrated having to fight for the smallest
- 3:18Speaker 3: thing for their kids which would make a world of
- 3:21Speaker 3: difference and then have their child feeling more comfortable going
- 3:24Speaker 3: to school. So that broke my heart.
- 3:26Speaker 1: But at the.
- 3:27Speaker 3: Same time, when I did hear the positive stories from
- 3:31Speaker 3: teachers or from parents telling us about amazing teachers. That
- 3:34Speaker 3: was amazing.
- 3:35Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. One of the greatest challenges for
- 3:37Speaker 2: parents who are raising neurodivergent kids is what school does.
- 3:41Speaker 2: Here's my hypothesis, and I know that there are going
- 3:43Speaker 2: to be some blank spaces and some bits that have
- 3:45Speaker 2: been missed. But tell me how this sounds for you,
- 3:49Speaker 2: and then we'll start to feel in some blanks for
- 3:51Speaker 2: where I'm missing. The theory or the whole parenting paradigm
- 3:57Speaker 2: that I build all of the work that I do
- 3:58Speaker 2: on argues that we have three basic psychological needs, and
- 4:01Speaker 2: when we're in an environment that supports those needs, we
- 4:03Speaker 2: feel motivated, we feel well, life is good. Those needs
- 4:07Speaker 2: are we need to have great relationships, we need to
- 4:09Speaker 2: feel like we're competent, capable, and we need to have
- 4:11Speaker 2: a sense of choice in our lives. My sense is
- 4:13Speaker 2: that for most children neurotypical or neurodiverse, when they show
- 4:18Speaker 2: up at school, relationships can be tricky. They often feel
- 4:21Speaker 2: incompetent anyway, and they don't have a whole lot of
- 4:24Speaker 2: control because the school requires a standardized, structured approach. But
- 4:27Speaker 2: when you throw in your adversity, when you throw in ADHD, autism, anxiety,
- 4:31Speaker 2: and any other justspraxicea, dyslexia, any other neurological or even
- 4:36Speaker 2: psychological challenges. Here, all of a sudden, relationships become even trickier.
- 4:40Speaker 2: Kids feel increasingly incompetent, and teachers, as a result of
- 4:45Speaker 2: children perhaps not behaving as easily as they might otherwise
- 4:48Speaker 2: because of the challenges that they're having, teachers become more controlling.
- 4:52Speaker 2: Now I'm not throwing shade at teachers here. It makes sense.
- 4:53Speaker 2: They've got thirty kids to look after. If we can
- 4:56Speaker 2: find a way to support those three basic psychological needs,
- 5:00Speaker 2: we're going to go ninety ninety five percent of the way.
- 5:02Speaker 2: They're helping every child fit in Madonna. What's your response.
- 5:06Speaker 1: I would say that we need to look at the
- 5:08Speaker 1: teachers and the school system those needs absolutely, But when
- 5:12Speaker 1: teachers told us that their last professional development in this
- 5:16Speaker 1: area was twenty five years ago, and it was fifteen
- 5:18Speaker 1: minutes or someone had mentioned neurodivergence and they meant to
- 5:22Speaker 1: look it up at some stage in the staff room,
- 5:24Speaker 1: there are beautiful teachers who are funding their own master's
- 5:27Speaker 1: programs to try and understand this. The emails we're getting
- 5:31Speaker 1: from teachers to say, help us on this, we need
- 5:34Speaker 1: to be able to address this. How can they feel competent?
- 5:37Speaker 1: How can they have relations in class? How can they
- 5:39Speaker 1: feel safe and secure and included at school when the
- 5:43Speaker 1: person leading the class doesn't have the time, the resources,
- 5:48Speaker 1: or less necessarily the training to do that. And so
- 5:51Speaker 1: I think, you know, we can start with the kids,
- 5:53Speaker 1: and that is really true and important and a parental
- 5:56Speaker 1: think and help there. But we also really need to
- 6:00Speaker 1: hate teachers into our arms and say all right, what
- 6:03Speaker 1: can we do that will?
- 6:05Speaker 3: You know?
- 6:06Speaker 1: Beck said it helps everyone a rising tide, lifts or
- 6:09Speaker 1: boats and you know those things that teachers can be
- 6:12Speaker 1: trained to do that didn't realize, you know. So for example,
- 6:15Speaker 1: if I hear another story about a reward chart, We've
- 6:18Speaker 1: got stories of neurodivergent kids soiling their pants because they
- 6:22Speaker 1: knew they couldn't do the task and therefore they would
- 6:25Speaker 1: be held responsible by everyone. So there are some really
- 6:29Speaker 1: basic lists of dos and don'ts. And I think South
- 6:32Speaker 1: Australia has a Minister for autism. Why can't we actually
- 6:36Speaker 1: in our universities and our policies and in our parliaments
- 6:42Speaker 1: have people who understand that up to forty percent of
- 6:44Speaker 1: our classes and neurodivergent, because that's what teachers say up
- 6:47Speaker 1: to forty percent, and that's not even in specialist classes.
- 6:51Speaker 1: All right now, I'm just going to climb down off
- 6:53Speaker 1: that box and hand over to you. Beck.
- 6:56Speaker 3: I agree with everything that you said, and I think
- 6:58Speaker 3: it's interesting, Madonna, and you did this visit. I didn't.
- 7:02Speaker 3: But if we look at you know, you went to
- 7:03Speaker 3: a school on the Gold Coast that had set up
- 7:06Speaker 3: a campus for neurodivergent children.
- 7:10Speaker 2: Is everyone just next to the manual college? Yeah? Yeah,
- 7:13Speaker 2: I've done some work down there, and I just I
- 7:15Speaker 2: love what they're doing so important and they get great
- 7:19Speaker 2: results because these kids feel so good. They feel competent,
- 7:21Speaker 2: they feel like they've got good relationships, and they have
- 7:23Speaker 2: a sense of control over their lives.
- 7:24Speaker 1: But it goes to what Beck says, This doesn't cost
- 7:27Speaker 1: money in the sense of just alerting them that there's
- 7:30Speaker 1: a fire drill the next day, or letting them pick
- 7:33Speaker 1: the noise of the fire drill, or allowing them to
- 7:36Speaker 1: have breaks, or not moving every forty minutes, have the
- 7:40Speaker 1: teacher moving, that's a big one.
- 7:42Speaker 3: I think having the kids in the same classroom and
- 7:46Speaker 3: the teachers. You know, certainly in primary school and being
- 7:48Speaker 3: are high school, the teachers.
- 7:50Speaker 1: Move yeah on to the kids, so they're lost and
- 7:53Speaker 1: they're confused, and there's noise and Justin and I was
- 7:56Speaker 1: at that school when they were told they could be
- 7:59Speaker 1: picked up early that Thursday, on Easter Thursday, there was
- 8:04Speaker 1: uproar the only time I saw it because they did
- 8:06Speaker 1: not want to leave school early. Imagine if we could
- 8:10Speaker 1: do that in our classes across the country. One is saying,
- 8:13Speaker 1: but it's in my contract, I'm here till three o'clock.
- 8:16Speaker 1: The other is saying, no, I don't want to. Can
- 8:18Speaker 1: I stay to tell three? And you know, we talk
- 8:20Speaker 1: about a lack of engagement, We talk about behavior. We
- 8:23Speaker 1: need to get out from under our rock and say,
- 8:26Speaker 1: if we have another education review into the behavior of
- 8:28Speaker 1: our children, it's just another five million dollar wasted. When
- 8:32Speaker 1: we know what the answer is, let's just do it.
- 8:42Speaker 2: Beck. I wanted to come to you for a sec
- 8:43Speaker 2: because you're literally raising kids who are living with these
- 8:47Speaker 2: struggles on top of the work that you've done with Madonna.
- 8:50Speaker 2: In terms of researching with this book, and I know
- 8:51Speaker 2: that you spoke to a couple of thousand Australians, including
- 8:54Speaker 2: experts and parents, and teachers and people who are living
- 8:57Speaker 2: this on a day to day basis, what would you
- 9:00Speaker 2: say to a parent who's saying, I just want my
- 9:03Speaker 2: I taught my kids to feel good at school and
- 9:05Speaker 2: they don't. What would the first steps be to help
- 9:09Speaker 2: them to make progress? If they've got if they're autistic,
- 9:11Speaker 2: maybe they've got AUDIOHD, they've got both, and maybe they've
- 9:15Speaker 2: got a pretty challenging profile here, what are those first
- 9:18Speaker 2: steps to just smooth the way and make things feel better?
- 9:22Speaker 1: Question?
- 9:22Speaker 3: Justin so, I think that what I would be saying
- 9:25Speaker 3: is the first thing is hopefully not to see the
- 9:27Speaker 3: school as the enemy. When parents can work in partnership
- 9:33Speaker 3: with teachers and with schools, it is a much better
- 9:37Speaker 3: experience for everybody. And this isn't just for neurodivergent children.
- 9:41Speaker 3: This is for our children, all of our kids right
- 9:43Speaker 3: across the po to work with the school in a partnership.
- 9:48Speaker 3: And I think part of it, and what we've done
- 9:50Speaker 3: in the book is we said, yes, we said tell
- 9:53Speaker 3: us what tell us what teachers or schools are doing wrong. Equally,
- 9:57Speaker 3: we said to teachers, what do you want parents to know?
- 10:02Speaker 3: What are they doing that is hindering their own child's progress,
- 10:07Speaker 3: So having respect for the teacher in your communication with them.
- 10:13Speaker 3: Of course, we've got tips in the book about advocating
- 10:15Speaker 3: for your child, So that is the first thing I
- 10:17Speaker 3: would be saying is working with the school, having that
- 10:20Speaker 3: good relationship. But look, I'm going to be someone who says,
- 10:23Speaker 3: if it is not working for your child and you've
- 10:27Speaker 3: and the school's trying, and you're trying, this is why
- 10:30Speaker 3: we're seeing a rise in home schooling.
- 10:32Speaker 2: Justin.
- 10:33Speaker 3: Look, I'm in this situation right and so far my
- 10:37Speaker 3: kid's school has been amazing. I've got one of my
- 10:40Speaker 3: kids starting high school next year. I do not know
- 10:42Speaker 3: how it's going to go. And the fact is, where
- 10:45Speaker 3: am I supposed to send my child? Where he's very bright?
- 10:51Speaker 3: But do you think he can sit down and write
- 10:53Speaker 3: an essay? He cannot. He cannot sit down and do
- 10:56Speaker 3: a timed essay? Justin where am I meant to see
- 11:00Speaker 3: and him and I am one of thousands of parents
- 11:06Speaker 3: are going you know, sometimes I think, and I'm going
- 11:09Speaker 3: to be very general here, but with some you'rerodivergent children
- 11:13Speaker 3: who are very bright, the schools are very happy to
- 11:15Speaker 3: take them on when they think they're going to improve
- 11:17Speaker 3: their naplan and their ata right, Well, if you want that,
- 11:23Speaker 3: you better also step up with the accommodations. Okay, because
- 11:27Speaker 3: these kids think and work differently, and we have schools
- 11:33Speaker 3: that are still in some ways in the dark ages.
- 11:37Speaker 3: Other aspects of society are moving forward with how we
- 11:41Speaker 3: accommodate and work with and change things when you're a
- 11:45Speaker 3: divergent people, except schools. There are schools who are dragging
- 11:48Speaker 3: their feet. And so I would just say, if you
- 11:51Speaker 3: have tried everything, if you've been working with the school
- 11:53Speaker 3: and your child is miserable, it is not worth it,
- 11:56Speaker 3: whether that's bullying or your child is just wilting before
- 12:02Speaker 3: your eyes in the school environment, then maybe And look,
- 12:05Speaker 3: that's I say that. I know it is a luxury
- 12:08Speaker 3: to say to somebody to homeschool because not every parent
- 12:12Speaker 3: is that in that situation. But I mean, I feel
- 12:14Speaker 3: like there's a lot of parents out there who feel
- 12:16Speaker 3: like I don't know what to do.
- 12:18Speaker 2: Yeah, two things on that. I want to be sensitive
- 12:20Speaker 2: and at the same time, I want to be truthful.
- 12:24Speaker 2: We've got kids who really struggled at school, and we
- 12:27Speaker 2: also have u diversity in our family. And as you've spoken,
- 12:30Speaker 2: there are two things that have come up for me.
- 12:31Speaker 2: Number one, the willingness to work with the school is crucial.
- 12:35Speaker 2: I just I can't emphasize what you've said there as
- 12:38Speaker 2: the first step. That's the foundation. When I created a
- 12:42Speaker 2: big ruckus a few years ago by talking about how
- 12:43Speaker 2: kids shouldn't be doing homework in primary school because there's
- 12:46Speaker 2: no research to support that, a lot of people got
- 12:49Speaker 2: pretty upset about it. But in the letter that we
- 12:51Speaker 2: wrote to the teachers around this, well going back fifteen
- 12:54Speaker 2: years now, but in the letter that I wrote to
- 12:55Speaker 2: the teachers, the wording that I used was something along
- 12:59Speaker 2: the lines of how much you love my kids and
- 13:01Speaker 2: how much you care about their educational futures. I know
- 13:04Speaker 2: that you really want to be there for them. So
- 13:07Speaker 2: we're on the same team here, and that's a really
- 13:10Speaker 2: nice way to bring in. We're dealing with the challenge
- 13:13Speaker 2: here and we'd like to see if we can problem
- 13:15Speaker 2: solve it together. I just wanted to put some I guess,
- 13:17Speaker 2: some flesh on the bones of your suggestion. The second
- 13:21Speaker 2: thing that you highlighted around homeschool. We're homeschooling two of
- 13:23Speaker 2: our kids, and it's precisely because of the reasons that
- 13:26Speaker 2: you've mentioned Unfortunately, as much as we have tried to
- 13:29Speaker 2: work with schools, it hasn't been working. And there are
- 13:33Speaker 2: stories from here in Queensland, where all three of us
- 13:36Speaker 2: are based, but also from Victoria. I haven't seen any
- 13:38Speaker 2: from other places, although I believe that they do exist
- 13:41Speaker 2: where there are some rules, where there is I can't
- 13:45Speaker 2: remember what the exact term is, soft, I get the
- 13:47Speaker 2: term wrong. Please forgive me. But if children are being
- 13:50Speaker 2: particularly challenging, and this usually only applies to your adverse kids,
- 13:54Speaker 2: teachers are allowed to use something that I think is
- 13:56Speaker 2: called is it appropriate restraint or something? And so I've
- 14:00Speaker 2: been reading stories in the press, and in fact that
- 14:02Speaker 2: it happened at a school here on the Sunshine Coast
- 14:04Speaker 2: just recently, where a kid is put it in a box,
- 14:07Speaker 2: or a kid is put into a cage, or a
- 14:08Speaker 2: kid is put into an enclosed space and told you're
- 14:11Speaker 2: not coming out until you've regulated your emotions and your
- 14:14Speaker 2: back down level. So we can talk about this, and
- 14:17Speaker 2: it's these kinds of things. It's not happening a lot.
- 14:20Speaker 2: I just want to emphasize that. And you've said wonderful
- 14:22Speaker 2: things about so many great teachers who are as you said,
- 14:24Speaker 2: Madonna going out of their way, spending their own money,
- 14:27Speaker 2: doing everything that they can to support kids develop themselves
- 14:31Speaker 2: and so on. But at the same time, as you've said, Beck,
- 14:34Speaker 2: there are some really big challenges and home school numbers
- 14:37Speaker 2: of skyrocketing as a result, and the bullying and then
- 14:40Speaker 2: your adversity are two of the biggest reasons for that.
- 14:42Speaker 2: I had to chat with Brett Campbell from YUKA on
- 14:44Speaker 2: the podcast just recently and he said that, can I.
- 14:46Speaker 1: Just say the tone is set from the top. It's
- 14:48Speaker 1: not just the teachers. Our schools are marketing themselves as
- 14:52Speaker 1: being inclusive. So it's okay to use the banner, you've
- 14:56Speaker 1: got to put it into practice. And one thing that's
- 14:58Speaker 1: about in our research, it was those teachers who were
- 15:02Speaker 1: neurodivergent or those teachers who had neurodivergent kids were just
- 15:07Speaker 1: terrific with the whole class. So you know, why aren't
- 15:10Speaker 1: we actually employing maybe more neurodvergent teachers or making, you know,
- 15:14Speaker 1: providing that as a skill base that can actually connect
- 15:19Speaker 1: with our students too. I mean, there's so many things
- 15:21Speaker 1: we could do that don't require change, legislation or big
- 15:25Speaker 1: pockets of money, but that will materially help our kids.
- 15:30Speaker 2: Okay, So I mean I felt like this conversation really
- 15:34Speaker 2: should go for about an hour, hour and a half. Unfortunately,
- 15:37Speaker 2: this is the podcast for the time for a parent
- 15:38Speaker 2: who are just one's answers now, and we've already sort
- 15:41Speaker 2: of extended our time beyond what we're supposed to. So
- 15:43Speaker 2: I want to wrap up with a question for you. Well, actually,
- 15:47Speaker 2: before I hit the question. The book is called Out
- 15:49Speaker 2: of the Box. It's by Madonna King and Rebecca Sparrow.
- 15:51Speaker 2: It's available everywhere already in the second print run. It's
- 15:53Speaker 2: only been out for like what a week. Look at
- 15:56Speaker 2: you guys, go here's my question. We're moving in towards
- 15:59Speaker 2: the summer whole of another couple of weeks of school,
- 16:01Speaker 2: a handful of weeks, and the kids are off and
- 16:03Speaker 2: everyone's at home and hopefully relaxing and enjoying some downtime,
- 16:06Speaker 2: and the kids are going to feel good for it,
- 16:08Speaker 2: especially if we can keep them away from screens and
- 16:09Speaker 2: get them outside in nature and living their best lives outside.
- 16:13Speaker 2: But in at about eight or nine or ten weeks,
- 16:16Speaker 2: we're going to be going through, especially those of us
- 16:19Speaker 2: with near diverse kids, we're going to be going through
- 16:22Speaker 2: this thing where the kids saying I don't want I
- 16:23Speaker 2: don't want to. I don't want to. I didn't last year.
- 16:26Speaker 2: What do I have to do it again this year?
- 16:28Speaker 2: What if I don't like my teacher, what if I
- 16:29Speaker 2: don't like classmates? What if? What if? We're going to
- 16:31Speaker 2: be going through all of this again with our kids.
- 16:34Speaker 2: So as we get ready to close things down for
- 16:36Speaker 2: the summer and recalibrate for a new year, I'd love
- 16:41Speaker 2: to ask each of you what do you think the
- 16:42Speaker 2: best things are that parents can do to guide their
- 16:45Speaker 2: kids into a successful twenty twenty five as they head
- 16:48Speaker 2: into school.
- 16:51Speaker 1: So we've got a list in the book, but one
- 16:53Speaker 1: thing I would say is, if your child is starting
- 16:55Speaker 1: high school or starting a new school, right to the teacher.
- 17:00Speaker 1: Develop a relationship with that classroom teacher. Get a little
- 17:04Speaker 1: picture of the school, a map of it, and over
- 17:07Speaker 1: the holidays wander around so they know we're touch shopp
- 17:10Speaker 1: is and a sitting area is so there is a
- 17:12Speaker 1: sense of routine and familiarity before they even go to school.
- 17:17Speaker 1: But don't leave that connection till February next year. Do
- 17:21Speaker 1: it in the remaining weeks before school finishes. So that
- 17:25Speaker 1: you can talk to your child over that period about
- 17:28Speaker 1: what will happen next year. And then it's not a
- 17:31Speaker 1: huge jump to a new school. It's a transition which
- 17:34Speaker 1: can be really tricky.
- 17:36Speaker 2: Beautiful, beautiful.
- 17:37Speaker 3: What about you, Beck, Look, I would say, certainly in
- 17:40Speaker 3: primary school, the things that I'd be doing between now
- 17:42Speaker 3: and the end of the year, I would be getting
- 17:44Speaker 3: the current teacher to send your child on fake errands
- 17:48Speaker 3: that the child doesn't know are fake, with messages to
- 17:51Speaker 3: go up to a teacher in the grade above, so
- 17:54Speaker 3: they delivering messages going up to the classrooms.
- 17:57Speaker 1: Things like that.
- 17:58Speaker 3: I would also be saying, and this is what we've
- 18:00Speaker 3: done with my kids early drop off, the what they
- 18:04Speaker 3: call teacher this week before school goes back. That is
- 18:06Speaker 3: when you talk to your school. Your child could be
- 18:09Speaker 3: in there every day, just half an hour, wandering around
- 18:13Speaker 3: in the new classroom, chatting to the teacher. It is
- 18:16Speaker 3: all about relationship building. So what I'm hoping is that
- 18:20Speaker 3: you're going to have a teacher that you go in
- 18:22Speaker 3: and say, listen, my child loves Taylor Swift, dinosaurs, frogs, whatever, right,
- 18:30Speaker 3: that's their special interest, and the great teachers out there
- 18:33Speaker 3: will go right. I'm onto this and they will have
- 18:37Speaker 3: conversation status because it is all down to that relationship
- 18:41Speaker 3: between a child and their teacher, and the safer our
- 18:44Speaker 3: neurodivergent children feel, the more that likely they will flourish.
- 18:49Speaker 2: Just on that. There's some research that shows that kids
- 18:51Speaker 2: are happy at school, going back to the relationship thing,
- 18:53Speaker 2: essentially when they have someone to sit next to a
- 18:55Speaker 2: class that they like, and when they trust the teacher,
- 18:57Speaker 2: when they know the teacher is going to act in
- 18:59Speaker 2: their best interest. When we had our kids starting a
- 19:01Speaker 2: school a few years ago, we wrote a note to
- 19:03Speaker 2: the teacher, like you said, Madonna, and we just asked
- 19:06Speaker 2: if there were a couple of parents that we could
- 19:07Speaker 2: meet up with with their kids so that our children
- 19:09Speaker 2: could develop some relationships across the summer so they're not
- 19:12Speaker 2: showing up on day one completely unknown and completely lost.
- 19:17Speaker 2: And we found that was also well. It came with
- 19:19Speaker 2: some challenges, but it was also useful. The name of
- 19:21Speaker 2: the book is out of the Box, a one stop
- 19:23Speaker 2: guide and navigating neurodivergence. The authors of Madonna King and
- 19:26Speaker 2: Rebecca Sparrow there two of my wonderful friends, and I'm
- 19:28Speaker 2: so grateful for the work that they do and the
- 19:30Speaker 2: way that they're supporting families who are dealing with these challenges.
- 19:34Speaker 2: Madonna Beck, thanks so much, just I wish we could
- 19:37Speaker 2: talk for hours. This is so valuable. Thanks and all
- 19:41Speaker 2: the best with the book. I think it'll make a
- 19:44Speaker 2: great Christmas gift under the tree for somebody if you
- 19:46Speaker 2: haven't grabbed it already, All set for next year. If
- 19:49Speaker 2: you'd like more info, we'll link to the book in
- 19:52Speaker 2: our show notes. Out of the Box and one stop
- 19:53Speaker 2: guides navigating new road divergence. They Family Podcast is produced
- 19:57Speaker 2: by Justin rolland from Bridge Media, and if you'd like
- 19:59Speaker 2: more r info about making your family happier, visitors at
- 20:02Speaker 2: happy families dot com dot au. Tomorrow, on the pod,
- 20:05Speaker 2: It's a Doctor's Desk episode, we're looking at a new
- 20:07Speaker 2: study that links low income stress parents and child behavior
- 20:10Speaker 2: and how better support can bring benefits all and a
- 20:13Speaker 2: brand new study that's just come out suggesting that the
- 20:16Speaker 2: negativeffects of childhood spanking may be overstated. Can't wait for
- 20:22Speaker 2: that one. On the Happy Families Podcast