Latest / Reverse Jackass / Ep39: Nick wants to speak to the manager about 'Raise Your Voice'; Evelyn asks Oklahoma to be better.

Transcript

Ep39: Nick wants to speak to the manager about 'Raise Your Voice'; Evelyn asks Oklahoma to be better. · Reverse Jackass

0:00
SPEAKER_00: It's reverse.
0:07
SPEAKER_00: So, you want to record a podcast?
0:09
SPEAKER_00: I do.
0:10
SPEAKER_00: I do.
0:10
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
0:11
SPEAKER_00: I really do.
0:12
SPEAKER_01: Launch us into space.
0:14
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
0:15
SPEAKER_00: Well, I can't launch us into space, but I can launch us into the reverse jackass podcast, which is exactly where we are right now.
0:23
SPEAKER_00: Welcome.
0:24
SPEAKER_00: Welcome back.
0:25
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
0:26
SPEAKER_00: Welcome.
0:26
SPEAKER_00: It is so good to be here with all of you.
0:28
SPEAKER_00: I'm Evelyn the Canadian Blade, as named by myself in episode one.
0:34
SPEAKER_00: It's never leaving.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: It's never leaving us.
0:36
SPEAKER_00: And if you have, again, any comment, any thoughts you want to share with us, any feedback, we don't really care about that.
0:44
SPEAKER_00: But we do want to hear any thoughts you have, you can email us at reversejackass at gmail.com, or if it's something for me personally that you don't want Nick to see, that's Canadianblade6969 at gmail.com.
0:57
SPEAKER_01: I also want to point out that we have put ourselves in an interesting predicament by recording these podcasts so much earlier than we're going to release them.
1:03
SPEAKER_01: So what that means is that I want to encourage you all, if you want to see if we respond to any of your uh queries, questions, concerns, to skip forward three months or to just listen straight through.
1:13
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:14
SPEAKER_01: And then we'll try to respond to you, and maybe you'll hear your name at some point on the on the podcast.
1:20
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
1:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's true.
1:22
SPEAKER_00: Like if you respond to a podcast that came out, like an episode that came out in March, we're probably not gonna mention you until November.
1:32
SPEAKER_01: Probably.
1:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:32
SPEAKER_01: And that's and it's not because we don't love you.
1:34
SPEAKER_01: We do love you.
1:35
SPEAKER_01: It's not because we forgot you.
1:36
SPEAKER_01: We didn't forget you.
1:37
SPEAKER_01: We did.
1:37
SPEAKER_01: Um, it's because we did a dumb thing in an attempt to to practice and an attempt to gather as much content as we could get.
1:44
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, it's neither here nor there.
1:46
SPEAKER_01: Canadian Blade, welcome.
1:48
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
1:48
SPEAKER_00: And welcome to you, Nick.
1:50
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
1:51
SPEAKER_01: Can we clear the air before this episode?
1:53
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
1:53
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
1:54
SPEAKER_01: Of course, what you and I have you and I have a beef, and because this because this podcast is uh dedicated to remediating the toil or strife between the US and Canada, you played me.
2:05
SPEAKER_01: You played me.
2:06
SPEAKER_01: You made me and my wife watch a movie.
2:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I did.
2:10
SPEAKER_01: And we talked about it was the worst representation of music education, and you were right.
2:15
SPEAKER_01: Except I said to you in text, and I stand by it, that the presentation of musical education in that movie was the least offensive thing about it.
2:22
SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
2:23
SPEAKER_00: I'm first of all, overjoyed that you watched it.
2:26
SPEAKER_00: And more so overjoyed that you, over a span of 45 minutes, text bombed me.
2:34
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
2:34
SPEAKER_00: Which, like I was kicking my feet with glee reading these.
2:38
SPEAKER_00: I appreciate that in the moment feedback and the fact that the messages started with my wife and I are 14 minutes into this movie, and I really, really resent you.
2:51
SPEAKER_00: That's all it took.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: That was the first.
2:54
SPEAKER_00: But the car crash happens then, right?
2:56
SPEAKER_00: Is the car crash happening in about the first 15 minutes?
2:59
SPEAKER_01: It's something like that.
3:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that kid, that kid eats it early.
3:02
SPEAKER_01: The movie is called Raise Your Voice, right?
3:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, sorry, raise your voice.
3:05
SPEAKER_00: You're a voice starring vocal power out.
3:08
SPEAKER_00: It looks like Hillary Duff.
3:11
SPEAKER_01: Hillary Duff, got it.
3:12
SPEAKER_00: Yep, yep.
3:13
SPEAKER_00: If I sing this, are you going to have some kind of traumatic response?
3:18
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm not.
3:27
SPEAKER_00: And then everyone's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
3:30
SPEAKER_00: And then they lose.
3:31
SPEAKER_00: No, it's the class erupts.
3:34
SPEAKER_00: They erupt.
3:36
SPEAKER_00: They're shocked.
3:36
SPEAKER_00: They can't believe a white girl can sing that one.
3:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
3:39
SPEAKER_01: Thank you, magical white angel.
3:40
SPEAKER_01: You're so good.
3:41
SPEAKER_01: You really, you really put white people back on top.
3:44
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for that.
3:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
3:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
3:45
SPEAKER_01: It's it's so bad.
3:46
SPEAKER_01: And you also pointed out to me the scene where the where the vocal teacher plays cello.
3:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
3:50
SPEAKER_01: And then horrendous on so many levels.
3:53
SPEAKER_01: Also, it's a three-week program.
3:55
SPEAKER_01: How do they all know each other already?
3:57
SPEAKER_01: They're all like, all of them are like grizzled old veterans, and she shows up and they're like, Yeah, by the end of this three weeks, we'll have you, we'll have you working on our choral performance.
4:05
SPEAKER_01: But then mysteriously, everybody else has their own instrument.
4:07
SPEAKER_01: And then they're like, Yeah, wait till the talent show at the end.
4:10
SPEAKER_01: And I won't spoil it for you who wins, but like, wait a talent show at the end.
4:13
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, so presumably every kid on this stage is like a like a Juilliard-bound musical student.
4:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
4:19
SPEAKER_01: Right.
4:20
SPEAKER_01: There's no way the kid just playing that electric bass in the background of the jazz hip-hop performance is actually a candidate for this scholarship.
4:28
SPEAKER_01: Like it really didn't speak to the fact that there's like four marquee students in this thing, of which uh Hillary Duff is one of them.
4:34
SPEAKER_01: And the rest of them are all just like background students, is presumably have done the same audition, but they just have cruddy roles.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: They just have cruddy roles, but you have to fill it in.
4:44
SPEAKER_00: You can't have anyone outshine Hillary Duff in this movie.
4:47
SPEAKER_01: There's an amazing point.
4:48
SPEAKER_01: I actually froze it and made Amber look at it.
4:51
SPEAKER_01: Where right at the end of Hillary Duff's performance when the crowd is going wild and she's incredible.
4:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:56
SPEAKER_01: Everybody's excited.
4:57
SPEAKER_01: They show up, they show up her face, they zoom in on her face, and her face is so like excited, and you know, she's she's had the performance of lifetime.
5:06
SPEAKER_01: And right over her shoulder is the kid that was playing bass for her whole performance, and he's just standing there like this.
5:11
SPEAKER_01: Like, like somebody didn't tell this extra he needed to be excited about what was happening on stage, and he just looks bored out of his mind.
5:17
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Hey, fella, me too.
5:19
SPEAKER_01: I feel you.
5:20
SPEAKER_01: So that's so that's that's one thing.
5:22
SPEAKER_01: Another thing is that how was that long-haired teacher not revealed to be a Peter Est at the end of the movie?
5:27
SPEAKER_01: Ever and I were like, the way he acts, the way he talks to these kids, like this is totally a dude that's gonna ask Hillary Duff out on a date.
5:34
SPEAKER_00: 100%.
5:35
SPEAKER_00: And maybe that's in the sequel.
5:36
SPEAKER_00: Maybe they make a sequel?
5:38
SPEAKER_00: No.
5:39
SPEAKER_01: Oh god, but it's kind of a bomb, I think.
5:41
SPEAKER_00: Well, it was, but there's a reason it was in the two dollar bin at Walmart.
5:44
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna tell you.
5:45
SPEAKER_00: Oh, is that where you bought it?
5:46
SPEAKER_00: That's where I bought it.
5:47
SPEAKER_00: Because as a music teacher, you need movies all the time that you can throw in in an emergency.
5:52
SPEAKER_00: Just to punish kids?
5:54
SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, when they're bad.
5:55
SPEAKER_01: This is a big middle finger to kids.
5:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
5:57
SPEAKER_00: When they're bad, they need they need to know it.
6:00
SPEAKER_00: It's they need to know it.
6:01
SPEAKER_01: It's it's uh it's a shockingly ridiculous movie.
6:05
SPEAKER_01: I I'll tell you candidly, for everybody in the audience, yeah, it's so bad it's good.
6:10
SPEAKER_01: It is very funny.
6:11
SPEAKER_01: And also, this is maybe not the most tasteful thing I'm ever gonna say, but there is a kid in it.
6:15
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you know this, there's a kid in that movie who um has since died.
6:19
SPEAKER_01: He's the kid who plays all the percussion instruments, the skinny goofy kid who plays all the percussion instruments, and he was on Sons of Anarchy, and he like he like legit killed his landlady in a really violent incident before he died.
6:31
SPEAKER_01: And like, it's weird watching that movie, seeing this kid being kind of a goofy, eclectic percussionist, and knowing that in real life, like five years from now, it's not gonna go so hot.
6:41
SPEAKER_01: No, uh out here Hollywood way.
6:43
SPEAKER_01: If he knew then what he knew now, they should have given I'm just gonna spoil it for you.
6:47
SPEAKER_01: He doesn't win the big talent show at the end of it.
6:49
SPEAKER_01: Maybe if he had gotten just a little more encouragement from the joke, he could have turned his life around.
6:55
SPEAKER_00: I was so impressed that you watched it.
6:57
SPEAKER_00: I really thought you were BSing me when you're like, I'm gonna watch it.
7:01
SPEAKER_00: I it's not that you don't follow through on what you do, but like some things I tell you you latch on to and some things you don't, like anybody, right?
7:09
SPEAKER_00: And you really latched onto that and you committed.
7:11
SPEAKER_01: I I I love just for those of you who might send suggestions to us via Canadian Blade6969 at gmail.com.
7:19
SPEAKER_01: I love a movie that's so bad it's good if I can laugh at it.
7:22
SPEAKER_01: Like if it's if it's humorous, and I love I love knowing that it was galling you with its portrayal of music education.
7:28
SPEAKER_01: And let me tell you, the portrayal of music education in this is offensive in every way.
7:33
SPEAKER_01: Oh, you didn't show up for class today.
7:35
SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, sounds like you really had something going on.
7:37
SPEAKER_01: They have three weeks to teach these kids.
7:40
SPEAKER_01: No music teacher's gonna be like, well, try again tomorrow.
7:43
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
7:43
SPEAKER_00: I guess it's fine.
7:44
SPEAKER_00: Oh, this is this is only the most prestigious scholarship in the entire world.
7:49
SPEAKER_01: Of course.
7:49
SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's okay that you missed today because you were down.
7:52
SPEAKER_01: By the way, the only dirty part of LA that she sees is the part right after the train station.
7:55
SPEAKER_01: That whole movie is weird in its commitment to trains.
7:59
SPEAKER_01: Oh.
7:59
SPEAKER_01: Have you noticed that?
8:00
SPEAKER_01: There's two things in that movie that they are committed to making you love that I don't love.
8:04
SPEAKER_01: One of them is trains, and the other one is Three Days Grace.
8:08
SPEAKER_01: And they're like, they're like, oh, tight, three days Grace.
8:12
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I was turning to Amber and I was like, this has to be a Christian band.
8:15
SPEAKER_01: Like, this is just this, and they're not.
8:16
SPEAKER_01: I looked them up.
8:17
SPEAKER_01: Apparently they're not, but but Three Days Grace has big Christian vibes in it.
8:21
SPEAKER_01: And then, and I was like, this movie is such Christian propaganda because every kid in it, even the edgy ones, are like they all have brightly colored mohawks, but not a speck of dirt on them.
8:30
SPEAKER_01: They put all these kids in a dorm, and there's like not a scintilla, even though they're all like college-age kids, there's not a scintilla of sexuality going on among these kids.
8:38
SPEAKER_01: No, it's it's just it's such weirdo.
8:42
SPEAKER_01: That's why I told you it should have been called Church Camp the movie.
8:44
SPEAKER_01: It's like such weirdo Christian propaganda.
8:46
SPEAKER_00: I actually want to go through right now, since we're here.
8:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm just gonna read your messages to our audience here.
8:53
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so the first one, uh, Amber and I are 14 minutes and 30 seconds into this movie, and I really, really resent you.
9:01
SPEAKER_00: Then you sent me a picture of Hilary Duff in the ICU with bandages on her forehead, one bandage on her forehead and the oxygen tube.
9:11
SPEAKER_00: It was a really it really banged her up.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: Um, you can tell because she's pale.
9:16
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
9:17
SPEAKER_01: She's pale, yeah.
9:18
SPEAKER_01: And her her brother, who had a bowl cut and was videotaping her constantly without her consent, yeah, had just died.
9:25
SPEAKER_01: Do you have any thoughts on that as a therapist?
9:27
SPEAKER_01: Oh, we talked about I have a lot of thoughts, both as a lay person and as a therapist.
9:30
SPEAKER_01: And Amber and I were talking about it all the time.
9:32
SPEAKER_01: Like, he's like, hello, this is my sister.
9:35
SPEAKER_01: She's the most, she's the most beautiful voice I've ever heard in my whole life.
9:38
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I like to sometimes I like to tape her, like when she's singing, we're in the bathroom.
9:44
SPEAKER_01: Like it's and you know, let me tell you, credit where credit is due, that Josh Ritter can really act.
9:49
SPEAKER_01: He took that turn of a roll and he did a he did a bang up job on it.
9:54
SPEAKER_01: And then he, the hairstylist gave him the bowl cut of the century, and and he like handled it.
10:00
SPEAKER_01: Oh, also the fucking crucifix, good god, he rolls up with this enormous fucking, like almost monk-like crucifix on his chest.
10:08
SPEAKER_00: Does it right?
10:09
SPEAKER_01: Oh god, yeah.
10:10
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, oh, there's no way that doesn't figure into this movie later.
10:12
SPEAKER_01: Like it's just it was outside his shirt the whole time.
10:15
SPEAKER_01: It like it was amazing.
10:16
SPEAKER_01: It should have been like it should have had like flashing Christmas lights on it or something.
10:20
SPEAKER_01: He's wearing this enormous demonstrative crucifix, like to just say, like, look, guys, we're not gonna say this is a Christian movie.
10:27
SPEAKER_01: No, but this is a totally Christian movie, and then later she wears it the whole time.
10:30
SPEAKER_01: Like, yes, yeah, yeah.
10:32
SPEAKER_01: So anyway, he delivered on an undeliverable role, and to him, my hat's off.
10:36
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
10:37
SPEAKER_00: So, first of all, I can't think of when I've seen this movie.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: Like, like I probably showed it to a vocal class in like 2010.
10:45
SPEAKER_00: Just to derail them as hard as you could, just to be like, you guys aren't suffering enough.
10:50
SPEAKER_00: So, guess what I'm doing?
10:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're gonna watch John Corbett play the cello.
10:55
SPEAKER_00: Speaking of which, the next photo you sent me was a picture of John Corbett playing the cello with the bow in his mouth.
11:04
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
11:05
SPEAKER_01: How do you know this person's name?
11:06
SPEAKER_01: Is he famous for something?
11:07
SPEAKER_01: Because all I saw is the the shaggy haired pet the shaggy haired pederast in this movie.
11:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, John Corbett, yeah, he's like pretty, he's like a pretty well-known actor.
11:16
SPEAKER_00: He was in like Sex in the City and well just other masterpieces.
11:20
SPEAKER_00: Just other masterpieces like that.
11:22
SPEAKER_00: And then the next message uh you wrote was holy god, this is so bad.
11:27
SPEAKER_00: This is a fever dream for Christian virgins.
11:30
SPEAKER_00: Then you said I stand by that.
11:32
SPEAKER_00: The portrayal of music education is the least offensive part of this movie, which you have stated.
11:37
SPEAKER_00: Then you then you blessed me with some quotes from this movie.
11:41
SPEAKER_00: Quote, why would you do that?
11:43
SPEAKER_00: Why would you drink?
11:45
SPEAKER_00: Quote, because I'm worthless.
11:47
SPEAKER_00: Magic.
11:48
SPEAKER_01: Just pure cinematic magic.
11:51
SPEAKER_00: I find it amazing the amount of revelations that were had in this movie.
11:54
SPEAKER_01: Oh, and I didn't even send you a third of them.
11:56
SPEAKER_00: It was non-stop revelations.
11:58
SPEAKER_00: Gosh, well, you had to pay attention.
11:59
SPEAKER_00: You couldn't be like if anything, you should have been live streaming this whole thing for me because I would have died.
12:04
SPEAKER_00: See, and then you said this movie is like whiplash if J.K.
12:07
SPEAKER_00: Simmons was abusing the audience instead.
12:11
SPEAKER_00: That might be the best line you've ever said.
12:14
SPEAKER_01: That's what it that's what it felt like.
12:16
SPEAKER_00: It felt like what I what I wanted to respond to that particular message was a voice memo of me going, not my tempo.
12:24
SPEAKER_00: Not my tempo.
12:25
SPEAKER_00: Not my tempo.
12:26
SPEAKER_01: I respected J.K.
12:27
SPEAKER_01: Simmons more than I respected any teacher in Raise Your Voice.
12:32
SPEAKER_01: At the end of it, I thought maybe there's room for the Simmons method.
12:37
SPEAKER_00: Well, the the last message you sent was the alternate title Church Camp the Movie, to which I responded.
12:43
SPEAKER_00: Do you remember what I responded to this?
12:44
SPEAKER_01: I don't remember.
12:45
SPEAKER_00: I said there is not enough norovirus in it for it to be about Church Camp.
12:49
SPEAKER_00: That's true.
12:50
SPEAKER_01: Evelyn Flanagan presents Church Camp the movie, would have an incredible norovirus.
12:54
SPEAKER_00: Oh, it would look like the exorcist.
12:56
SPEAKER_00: It would look like the exorcist.
12:58
SPEAKER_01: Speaking of Christian propaganda, the fact that there wasn't a norovirus outbreak in this movie is proof that prayer doesn't work.
13:04
SPEAKER_00: Hey now.
13:06
SPEAKER_00: You know what?
13:06
SPEAKER_00: Like maybe, maybe it was a deleted scene.
13:08
SPEAKER_00: Did you watch the bloopers?
13:10
SPEAKER_01: I you don't get the bloopers with the rental.
13:13
SPEAKER_01: You just get what Hollywood wants you to see.
13:15
SPEAKER_01: You don't get all the the vulnerability and warts of the uh of the bloopers.
13:20
SPEAKER_00: Or the uh you don't get the the deep osempic cuts of the of the Hollywood caves.
13:26
SPEAKER_01: It's bad out there, folks.
13:27
SPEAKER_01: Uh so anyway, don't let Evelyn do to you what she did to me unless you wanna unless you enjoy watching something that is horrifically bad.
13:34
SPEAKER_00: Okay, well the now I'm ready.
13:35
SPEAKER_00: Oh, go ahead.
13:36
SPEAKER_00: Oh no, I think this is I think this is now the podcast.
13:40
SPEAKER_00: Like my topic is so lame.
13:43
SPEAKER_00: Oh, actually, this could work.
13:45
SPEAKER_00: Give it a world.
13:47
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
13:47
SPEAKER_00: So okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna make a connection here.
13:49
SPEAKER_00: And it's gonna be it's gonna be far-fetched.
13:51
SPEAKER_00: But the movie Raise Your Voice, Starling, Hillary Duff and John Corbett, was a bit was a bit of a I would say it straddled a couple of genres, a couple of a couple of worlds.
14:01
SPEAKER_00: It lived in a couple different worlds, one would say, right?
14:05
SPEAKER_00: It lived in the music, the competitive music scholarship world.
14:10
SPEAKER_00: Sure.
14:10
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
14:11
SPEAKER_00: It lived in the quasi-church camp world.
14:14
SPEAKER_00: And it lived in the world of siblings filming other siblings unbeknownst.
14:20
SPEAKER_01: The voyeurism world, yeah, absolutely.
14:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
14:24
SPEAKER_00: And when I think of when I think of something that lives between worlds, do you know what I first think of, Nick?
14:32
SPEAKER_01: Do you know what my the first thing that comes to mind is what do you think of when you think of something that inhabits both worlds?
14:37
SPEAKER_01: It's Saskatchewan.
14:38
SPEAKER_01: Saskatchewan.
14:39
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
14:40
SPEAKER_00: Now this is what I'm here for.
14:42
SPEAKER_00: A province that doesn't get a lot of airtime.
14:44
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
14:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
14:45
SPEAKER_00: And what you may not know is that Saskatchewan doesn't change its clocks.
14:50
SPEAKER_00: Good for them.
14:52
SPEAKER_00: Right?
14:52
SPEAKER_00: So it's well, part of Saskatchewan doesn't change its clocks.
14:57
SPEAKER_00: Some of it does.
14:59
SPEAKER_00: So sometimes it lives in the world of Alberta, right?
15:03
SPEAKER_00: And other times it lives in the world of Manitoba.
15:06
SPEAKER_01: It's Canada's Indiana.
15:08
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I was gonna be like, is there somewhere in the States that doesn't but you know what?
15:13
SPEAKER_00: I want to change my question now because that's two on the nose.
15:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
15:17
SPEAKER_00: So knowing that Saskatchewan doesn't change, it just stays in central time year-round.
15:23
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so it's the only province that doesn't participate in daylight savings time, everybody else does.
15:28
SPEAKER_00: So my question for you, Nick, birthed out of this impromptu scathing review of Raise Your Voice, starring potential Oscar winner Hillary Duff and definite not Oscar winner, John Corbett.
15:43
SPEAKER_00: What state, in your opinion, only one, you have to only pick one, is a combination of many different worlds.
15:51
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that is a great question.
15:54
SPEAKER_01: What state lives between many different worlds, not just two different worlds, but has Yeah, like, well, you can pick two if you want, you know.
16:01
SPEAKER_01: Well, no, I just mean there's a lot, there's a lot of states in the US that have, like, for instance, where I grew up uh in Virginia, there's kind of like four areas.
16:10
SPEAKER_01: There's Central Virginia, where I grew up, and then there's uh coastal Virginia, which is like a lot of military bases, and then there's Mountain Virginia, which is, you know, dotted with a few college campuses, but also very sparsely populated.
16:23
SPEAKER_01: And then there's Northern Virginia, which is DC adjacent, and has the biggest bunch of know-it-alls you ever met in your whole life.
16:28
SPEAKER_01: So that's an example of like a state with four distinct worlds in it.
16:33
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
16:33
SPEAKER_01: Louisiana comes to mind, which is like 20% swamp, like 70% American South, and then like 10% New Orleans, which is like very like you know, sort of uh what's the word I'm looking for?
16:46
SPEAKER_01: Like Bacchanalian and like very much like not lawless would be the wrong word, but whatever the lawful version of lawless is, that's New Orleans, you know what I mean?
16:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
16:56
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
16:57
SPEAKER_01: In fact, New Orleans, my father and I went to visit there a million years ago because he went to school there and he wanted to show it to me.
17:02
SPEAKER_01: And I remember we walked onto this block in the middle of the old part of New Orleans that is the part people were romantic about, and there was only one guy in the whole block, and he was standing there by himself.
17:10
SPEAKER_01: And at the risk of sounding judgy, I won't tell you what this person looked like.
17:15
SPEAKER_01: Okay, but I will say that the message that he was broadcasting was it would not be safe to come near me.
17:20
SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
17:20
SPEAKER_01: And it was like one of those things where I thought, like, wow, this guy has a whole city block to himself, right?
17:25
SPEAKER_01: That's not the kind of thing you see in other major metropolitan areas.
17:28
SPEAKER_01: But for places that straddle a multitude of worlds.
17:33
SPEAKER_00: You know what?
17:34
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna amend my question further.
17:35
SPEAKER_00: Hit me, please.
17:36
SPEAKER_00: Because I really want to tie it back to Raise Your Voice, starring um incredible once-in-a-lifetime actress Hilary Duff and clearly leading male John Corbett.
17:45
SPEAKER_00: What state would you say is the raise your voice of the United States of America?
17:53
SPEAKER_01: And risk alienating all of those people.
17:56
SPEAKER_01: So I should pick a sparsely populated state, right?
18:00
SPEAKER_00: I mean, maybe pick one you don't know anybody from.
18:02
SPEAKER_00: Uh, but this this podcast is gonna go far and wide.
18:05
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm assuming at this point we've gone global at this point.
18:08
SPEAKER_00: We have to have gone global.
18:09
SPEAKER_01: Of course.
18:10
SPEAKER_01: By this point, by the by the time this airs, we're not even gonna be the same people.
18:16
SPEAKER_01: Um right?
18:17
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so let's I'm gonna have I'm gonna have a brightly colored mohawk with not a speck of dirt on me.
18:24
SPEAKER_00: And you are gonna be wearing the largest crucifix.
18:28
SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be huge.
18:29
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna grow my hair out and I'm gonna get implants, hair implants, and get like a bowl cut, and then I'm just gonna that's gonna look great for my sister's gonna be really shitty about me videotaping her all the time, but you know, it's for art and hopefully to get her a scholarship.
18:43
SPEAKER_01: God, what a bad movie!
18:44
SPEAKER_00: It was so bad.
18:45
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so but like think of elements in raise your voice.
18:48
SPEAKER_00: Yes, and like I want like pull elements out of that and be like this, oh, or maybe if raise your voice, folks, we're really sorry.
18:55
SPEAKER_00: This is the most feral episode of the podcast, but we're actually not sorry.
19:02
SPEAKER_00: It's my fault because it's my night, even though, even though, yeah, no, make up of your excuse.
19:07
SPEAKER_00: No, I'll even though what even you know what?
19:11
SPEAKER_00: I can't.
19:11
SPEAKER_00: I it is my fault, actually.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: This is this is my fault.
19:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're right.
19:15
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so let's start with what what let's start with a brief analysis of what raise your voice is so that I can assign that thing.
19:21
SPEAKER_01: So Raise Your Voice is an upsettingly yet disguisedly Christian movie um about a a girl with medium talent who defies her parents, her all kind of awful parents, to go to a school where everyone thinks everything is really important and that everyone is shockingly talented and yet weirdly not competitive with each other.
19:46
SPEAKER_01: Um, and they're also maybe not very good.
19:49
SPEAKER_01: Um and also fully fucking unself-conscious, but that's I was a theater kid, so I know what that's like.
19:56
SPEAKER_01: I kind of wanna I kind of want to make a little Oklahoma analogy here.
20:00
SPEAKER_00: Go with it.
20:01
SPEAKER_00: You know what?
20:02
SPEAKER_00: In the words of any good EMDR therapist, go with that.
20:06
SPEAKER_01: Go with that.
20:06
SPEAKER_01: What did you notice?
20:08
SPEAKER_01: Super, super Christian, absolutely convinced of its importance, um despite not being important.
20:15
SPEAKER_01: This is so shitty.
20:16
SPEAKER_01: This is a shittier person than I wanted to be on the show.
20:18
SPEAKER_01: No, you're doing a great job.
20:19
SPEAKER_01: I'm here for it.
20:19
SPEAKER_01: Oh, you're doing a great job.
20:20
SPEAKER_01: Oh, really?
20:20
SPEAKER_01: Are you here for it from all the way over there?
20:22
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
20:22
SPEAKER_01: Uh yeah.
20:23
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
20:24
SPEAKER_01: Um bland.
20:27
SPEAKER_00: Um wow.
20:29
SPEAKER_00: Oh no, wam, I'm a terrible person.
20:31
SPEAKER_00: You know what, Oklahoma?
20:33
SPEAKER_01: But look, I'm already fucking waist deep in the world.
20:35
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're in there.
20:35
SPEAKER_01: You're in there.
20:36
SPEAKER_01: Dive in there.
20:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
20:37
SPEAKER_01: Here's a story about Oklahoma.
20:39
SPEAKER_01: This is a true story.
20:40
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, this is the million years ago, my brother's band toured through the southwest United States, and I was fortunate enough to be able to go with them and ride with them and sell merch at their shows.
20:49
SPEAKER_01: And we played at two places in Oklahoma, and one of them was really fucking cool, and one of them was really unfucking cool.
20:57
SPEAKER_01: And the first one that was really cool was a place called the Diamond Ballroom.
21:00
SPEAKER_01: It's been around for, I don't know, 80 years or something.
21:02
SPEAKER_01: It's a big like honky tonk country and western venue that's been around forever.
21:05
SPEAKER_01: And the venue was cool, and the people were cool, and all of it was cool.
21:09
SPEAKER_01: And then the other one was a sports bar in Oklahoma City that was the largest sports bar I've ever seen.
21:14
SPEAKER_01: The people were absolutely not interested in watching a band, which I can't blame them for because they were there to watch sports, sports bar.
21:20
SPEAKER_01: But fortunately, my brother's band, always, always excellent, really tore it up.
21:23
SPEAKER_01: People love them.
21:24
SPEAKER_01: And we got done at the show and we packed up all the gear and we went outside to the Winnebago and we go in, and a couple of folks followed us out there, and they're trying to get us to go back and party with them, right?
21:34
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
21:34
SPEAKER_01: And and nobody in the band was a big partier.
21:36
SPEAKER_01: I mean, there was a lot of reasons why that wasn't gonna happen, right?
21:39
SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm not being an elitist, but like we weren't looking to make friends or go do drugs or anything.
21:43
SPEAKER_01: But then they start talking about Karen, and they're like, You're gonna love Karen.
21:46
SPEAKER_01: Oh, we gotta get Karen over here.
21:47
SPEAKER_01: Oh, Karen, you're gonna love Karen.
21:48
SPEAKER_01: Karen's the greatest, and they're all like just really going off on Karen.
21:52
SPEAKER_01: And then Karen finally comes over, and Karen is shithouse drunk, shithouse drunk, and and not a recipient.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: Of competent dental care.
22:02
SPEAKER_01: And Karen is so drunk that she starts, she starts rambling a little bit and really opining, but not one of her words is intelligible.
22:12
SPEAKER_00: Oh, nice.
22:13
SPEAKER_01: Like you actually can't understand a word she's saying except for one word, which I will hear in her voice until the day that I die.
22:19
SPEAKER_01: And that word was bomb diggity.
22:27
SPEAKER_01: Who knows what the rest of the content of her of her speech was?
22:31
SPEAKER_01: She was like Benito del Toro in uh suspects.
22:35
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she's or like um like Brad Pitt in in Snatch.
22:39
SPEAKER_01: In Snatch, right?
22:40
SPEAKER_01: Like somebody who was able to convey a lot with with just a little bit of words.
22:45
SPEAKER_01: And yeah, and what it left me with was a sense of gratitude that I had gotten to experience it, a warmth for the people that I met, a and a deep resentment for the God that would allow that experience to happen.
23:02
SPEAKER_01: That piece of creation.
23:04
SPEAKER_01: And that is my God, this is so shitty.
23:06
SPEAKER_01: And that is my that is my razor voice experience.
23:09
SPEAKER_00: You know what?
23:10
SPEAKER_00: What this episode, this is I think we might have to put money behind this one because this this one just needs people need to hear it.
23:18
SPEAKER_01: Are you kidding me?
23:19
SPEAKER_01: I'm nicer than this.
23:21
SPEAKER_01: She she forced me to do it because she's mean and Canadian.
23:24
SPEAKER_00: I did because I'm mean and Canadian.
23:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because I forced you to watch a movie with Hillary Duff and and all-star supporting actor John Corbett.
23:33
SPEAKER_00: All-star.
23:34
SPEAKER_01: There's no way that guy isn't and no, he did a good job.
23:36
SPEAKER_01: He just didn't realize nobody told him he was playing the villain in that movie.
23:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
23:40
SPEAKER_00: I well, I think that's the that's the only way to play a villain is to have no one tell you.
23:44
SPEAKER_01: Is to feel like you're is to feel like you're because all villains in real life feel like they're the good guys.
23:48
SPEAKER_01: And so he just for him showing up and being like, I'm the cool, I'm the cool professor.
23:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, hey.
23:55
SPEAKER_00: Can you put this cello bow in your mouth?
23:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right between your teeth, like that.
24:00
SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
24:01
SPEAKER_00: Your hair isn't stringy enough.
24:03
SPEAKER_00: So I'm just gonna, I'm gonna just rustle it up a little bit here.
24:07
SPEAKER_00: And if you could speak in creepy dulcet tones to your students, I think you're gonna nail it.
24:15
SPEAKER_01: I don't think he ever like pulled a chair up so that it was so the back was facing forward, you know what I mean?
24:20
SPEAKER_01: Like where you you straddle the back of the chair, but gosh, that his whole performance was that was that that over and over again was the embodiment of that one movie.
24:28
SPEAKER_01: And I don't blame him because that's the part that was written for him.
24:31
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so before we close this thing out, I want to offer my deepest and most heartfelt apologies to the people of Oklahoma and potentially Saskatchewan.
24:39
SPEAKER_01: It was done in fun.
24:40
SPEAKER_01: I want to refer you back to one of our older episodes where I was particularly cruel to my home state of Virginia, and also to refer you to any image of me on the internet which will reveal that I am something of a shapeless bald person.
24:51
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, just to allow you to have a uh have a field day with whatever you want to do with that, because it's Oklahoma and you don't have shit else to do anyway.
24:58
SPEAKER_00: Nope.
24:59
SPEAKER_00: Reverse jackass at gmail.com.
25:01
SPEAKER_00: You can forward, you can forward your comments and concerns, and you know what?
25:07
SPEAKER_00: Prove us wrong, Oklahoma.
25:08
SPEAKER_00: Prove us wrong.
25:09
SPEAKER_00: Be better.
25:10
SPEAKER_00: Just be better, please.
25:12
SPEAKER_00: Be better, okay?
25:13
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
25:14
SPEAKER_00: Well, on behalf of Nick and myself, I don't know what this was, but this was this was in a word, this was bomb diggity.
25:23
SPEAKER_00: Bomb diggity.
25:24
SPEAKER_00: Thanks, Karen, and we'll see you next episode.
25:27
SPEAKER_00: See you next time.
25:28
SPEAKER_00: Some neighbors are besties.
25:30
SPEAKER_01: Others quarrel bitterly.
25:32
SPEAKER_00: Stuck together through geography.
25:36
SPEAKER_01: One of us has nukes.
25:38
SPEAKER_00: And the other has tokes.
25:40
SPEAKER_00: It's American.
25:40
SPEAKER_00: American diplomacy.
25:45
SPEAKER_00: It's reversed.