Latest / I Choose Me with Jennie Garth / I Choose ... For Better AND For Worse with Amy Landecker

Transcript

I Choose ... For Better AND For Worse with Amy Landecker · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Hi everyone,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: exciting news. Okay, my second annual I Choose Me Live
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Summit Women's empowerment event is coming to Los Angeles on Saturday,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: April twenty fifth, and I want.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: You to be there.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: The I Choose Me movement began as three little words
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: on Beverly Hills nine O two one oh in nineteen
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: ninety five, but it has evolved into something so much
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: more than that. A revolution, you guys. It's a message
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: I feel so passionate about. I wrote the book on it.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: So please join me for this one day party shining
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: a light on self care and self love. Our panelists
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: are incredible this year. We have Amanda Klutes, Bethany Joy Lenz,
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Genie Mai, Gabby Reese, Sarah Shah, my dear friend, Gabrielle Carteris.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: We have Caromo and Cameron Matheson and more surprises. So
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: please come for the powerful conversations, stay for lunch and cocktails.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Make a commitment to choose yourself right here in sunny California.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: It's going to be amazing. Tickets are on sale now
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: at veeps dot com. That's ve e e ps dot
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: com and all of the info will be in our
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: show notes. Thank you so much. Welcome do I Choose Me,
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: the podcast about making choices for better and for worse.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: I am so excited today about this conversation because it
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: really touches on so many things that we talk about
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: here and I Choose Me, you know, try try again,
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: proof that there is such a thing as a new
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: life after midlife. It's never too late to start again.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: And also it's a very fun reminder that romantic comedies
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: are alive and well. I love rom comms. I am
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: thrilled to welcome actor, director, and just an all around
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: inspirational great lady, Amy Landecker.
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: Hi.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: Okay, wow, let's.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Get into this because I don't want to take up
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: too much of your time. I'm really grateful that you're here.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: By the way, thank you. I'm really grateful to be here.
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: I'm excited.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Your story is so so in line with everything I
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Choose Me. You had your breakout acting role at age forty,
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: you met the love of your life, and then you
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: five at forty five, and then you made your first
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: film at fifty five. You're like the poster lady for
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: the message that it's never too late.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel I feel like part of I mean,
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: it's interesting because I made this movie really.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: I mean, you see here he comes the love of
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: my life on cue too. Such an actor.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: He's still he's still futzing in the bathroom. I made
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: the movie literally, people think I think people think that
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: like I made it out of some sort of ambition
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: or something like I want, you know, like you do
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: something to get more work, or you do something because
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: like no one else would give you the part, or
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: and I'm sure subconsciously there's some some of that in there.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: But you know, as you're walking, Hi, look at that.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Hi, Bradley, are you I'd be great good to see you.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: I love the film, so I'm so happy to see
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: both of you. When you guys are on camera.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: Question.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Sure, I'm sure you know this, Yeah, he did you
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: cast them little casting couch action. I'm sure you guys
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: know this and people have told you. But whenever the
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: two of you are on screen was my favoritest parts
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: of the movie because there's just so much love and
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: connection and just you can't you know, you can't create that.
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: That scene on the bench when we finally like talk
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: is I definitely wanted.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: It didn't work, but when my acting coach shut up,
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: it was really helpful.
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: No, it was really really fun to do, and we've yeah.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: We've never really done that.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: I know, what a cool thing like. I would love
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: to work with my husband. He's actually commercial actor, which
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: is so funny. We watched the movie together last night
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: and he was chuckling about all the acting classes. Yeah.
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I used to be a commercial actor. That
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: was like my main bread and butter. So that's why
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: I used to do that pharmaceutical voiceover for a decade.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: Oh god, let you girls, Yeah, let us let us talk.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: Okay, thank you, thank you?
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: Fun or we're literally like anyway, besides, it's just an
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: interesting day.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: I know, you know, what's going on is an interesting day.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: Every day is interesting. Every day is an interesting day.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: But but anyway, so I was saying that I that
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: I I was.
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: I don't think I'm being Pollyanna to say that. Really
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: the point for me because I've written other things that
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: didn't actually get made, and I had a real sense
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: of relief around that because.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: How hard it would be.
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, when this one we actually had financing that fell through,
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: that was much more money, and I was devastated, and
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, that's an interesting feeling. And it really
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: was because I feel like I have something to offer people,
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: you know, and in the most direct case, women who
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: have been through divorce and are older, who are terrified
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: that they're going to be alone the rest of their
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: life or they're not going to get to do like
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: that there you know, you can't try something new or
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: like there's such a fear. I mean, I know when
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: I when I was going through it, I was just
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: like I'm going to be alone the rest of my
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: life and like my.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: Career is over whatever, whatever the fears are.
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: And I and I knew that somehow I'd had this
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: miraculous path through and I just felt like I needed
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: If we don't see it, we don't know it's possible, right,
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: So it was like I just wanted to help me.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: It sounds I'm not that great of a person, but
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: like I really but I really did want. I really
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: have so many girlfriends that I love.
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: I have. It's funny that you asked or somehow I
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: got to be on this podcast because there was an
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: article about you in People magazine years ago about your
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: divorce and getting I think remarried and I it really
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: affected me and gave me hope. And so this is
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: sort of like that kind of thing. It's will circle
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: for me to be here with you. I mean, I
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: get it's like really emotional for me because of that.
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: That shit is like so important when you're going through
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: that stuff, you have to see like that it can
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: work out, that people can heal. I mean, it's not
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: just also, I mean I make it really it's important
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: to me in the movie that the guy is not
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: the thing. The guy is not the actual thing that
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: like shows up first, right, the first thing that shows
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: up is her best friend. And that was so much
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: about how I got through everything. Like I mean that
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: I found love. It is the greatest thing in the world.
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: But like I also know I'll I'm going to lose
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: love one way or another, you know, right right, I'm
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: going to go, He's going to go.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: I hate to think about it, but like God forbid,
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: I just know that, like I can get through anything
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: with my girlfriends, right, that's the truth.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that relationship with your best friend in
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: the movie. We're talking about your new film for Worse,
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: which by the way, is available today on demand. It
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: is a rom com about the surprising magic that can
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: happen when your life blows up. You know, you are
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: the writer, the director, and the star of this film.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: I love saying all three of those things. So I
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: love hearing about this. And you're so right. When we
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: see other people walking our walks, there's something that ignites
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: inside of us, whether we really know it at the
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: time or not. But it's like a seed that's planted
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: and it like once you start watering it, like it grows.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: You were like a seed the plan.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: It was a little seed.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: Isn't that just wild? Yeah?
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: And I felt like I was getting enough people asking me,
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: you know, and I knew people, I mean people knew me.
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: When I was going through the divorce I have, I
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: fell apart in a way that was like like really.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: Wild, Like I just didn't know that was coming.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: I mean, I knew breakups were hard, but like I
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: hadn't factored in the shared custody part of divorce. And
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: that is really what Bradley and I kind of bonded
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: over when we finally started to talk to each other.
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: We knew each other like a year before we had
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: a real conversation. We were working on that the show Transparent.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: He was a guest star and I was a series regular,
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: and I thought he was like kind of a I mean,
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: we've talked about this, but it's true.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: Like I thought he was like a I can't you.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: Say that on Kelly Clarkson. And I totally relate because
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: it's the it's the presence, it's the swag, it's the
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: air of healthcareself.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: Yes, he just has a swag.
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: That's why he gets cast as like cocky people. And
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: I was interpreting him through that lens, and he was
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: interpreting me through a lens where I was like getting dumped.
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: Like I don't know.
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: I was getting together and breaking up like every two
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: days with the same person, and I was like crying
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: at work and he was just like, Okay, she's like
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: crazy actress tropes, right. We both had these ideas and
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: and I so that's why I have this like real
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: darcy part too. But anyway, our real connection, our very
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: first connection, was I was not prepared to not have
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: my kid for half my kids, like you can't be
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: prepared for that pair yourself for that feeling, and it
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: made me insane and my ex had moved on with
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: someone that Iris loved.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: I am understanding what you're saying perfectly. It's very hard.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: She was little and she'd be like.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: Mommyhtie's friend Lisa smells so good. I know, I know,
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: and it is so soft.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: I love her clothes.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you're like, I do too.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: I'm so glad that you.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: Like that exactly, while just like you have to dying inside, please.
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: Depress every animal instinct that you have, your maternal instinct
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: and be like.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: I'm so happy to hear that.
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: And then they leave and you fall on the floor
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: and you weep. Yeah.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: I love that scene in the movie when you drop
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: your daughter off. Yeah to your exit YouTuber. Yeah, oh god,
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: it's so funny and so actual, like that's I mean, you.
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: Know, and it's funny because I wrote a very I
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: grew up like really loving very traditional rom com structure.
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: Like I just think it's very satisfying. Like I tried.
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: I wanted to stay with the math of that. And
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: what's interesting and we keep talking about this amongst ourselves
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: is like there's no I mean, it's a very heightened version,
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: but none of it is not true, right, It's like
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: that is the way my best friend talks. There's a
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: reason those are tropes, right, because we kind of everyone
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: sort of has, you know, like the friend. I mean,
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: my friend is just incredibly crass and funny, and she
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: just is always.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: Telling me how I am. I mean that was her line.
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: Like when I was getting She's like, oh, Amy, you know,
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: I mean it's just like you meet those friends who
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: are just like telling you that you still, you know,
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: can can have a relationship where.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: You're still sexy. And she was, So that's a trope.
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: Like I'm writing the character going, well, you know, you
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: got this sort of wise cracking best friend, and then
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: my you know, ex's new girlfriend is in crely warm
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: and kind, and I in the beginning wanted to punch
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: her in the face, you know, I mean like it
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: wasn't you know, like I just want That is also
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: very common now that like you meet people who want
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: to just blend right conscious and COMPLI like all that stuff.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: And it was like, I can't jump to the healing.
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: I can't jump to take that. I can't And so
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: in my attempts to do that, I was falling apart
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: because I was trying to get to like the healing
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: which did happen? You know, like absolutely, which is why
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: I also love that, you know there, I had people
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: see the movie like before, like in the early days
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: where you're getting notes on the script and stuff, and
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: people are like, like, why does everyone have to be happy
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: at the end.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: I'm like, because that's the point.
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: Like the whole point is like we're all okay, everybody.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, then the movie's all about you. You're saying
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: like there's there's such a thing as a new life
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: after midlife. Yes, and a lot of women are facing
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: this in their forties, their fifties, their sixties and beyond.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: So you know, everybody's wondering, has life passed me by?
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: My kids are grown, the relationships I have are changing
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: because whatever there's going on in their lives or the
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: relationship is in it, whatever, your careers are shifting changing,
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: you know, who knows what's happening. And you've been there,
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: You've been through that painful divorce. So is it in
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: the movie, like what is it that helped you actually
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: open your heart to new beginnings? And how long did
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: that take you?
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: It took?
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: I mean the painful part to say because I hate
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: because I remember someone saying it to me, and I
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: was like, I can't wait that long, Like if it's
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: going to take that long, Like.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: No, was it seven years?
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: I mean it wasn't seven years, But what's the line
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: in the movie that.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: Guys say it's going to take six years? And I
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: was like six years. That's a lot time. I mean it's.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: Different for everybody, right, Like I felt like, here's what
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: really for me is I feel like what happened. I
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: had a relationship end that I thought was going to
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: be like the thing that would mean I wasn't going
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: to be alone forever.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: I went right into something and I was like, you know,
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: this will work out, and it didn't. And there was
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: something about that not working out that triggered like a
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: real panic, And so I went into a relationship that
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: was not good for me out of just a need
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: to not want to be alone. And that was such
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: a painful process and so wrong for what I needed.
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: But it was perfect because I kind of bottomed out
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: on that sort of solution, right, I was like, this
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: is not working. So I made this like vow to
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: be alone for a while, And in the time that
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: I really was alone, I really got really happy being
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: alone for probably the first time in my life.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: That was when Bradley came in, right, I always I
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: didn't need Bradley, like I was like, I was like,
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: oh my god, I'm finally happy, so good on my own.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: Yes, did you do you feel like you equate that
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: to like? Because I talk about this a lot about
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: like when we when we get to the place where
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: we truly love ourselves and we realize there's nothing we
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: cannot not survive.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: Yes, then that.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: Self of love just opens up the universe. And that
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: is always when the right relationship or the right job
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: opportunity comes, or the right anything.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: It's that horrible, beautiful truth of life.
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: Then the cont you know, the complete contradiction that like
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: I let it go and then it comes right.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: But then the horror is it a horse or a cat?
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: Let it run free and it will come.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: Back to you if it's meant to be.
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: It's so annoying. It's like, why do I have to
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: like let go to keep it? I don't want to.
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: I just want to grab it and hold it and
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: be afraid. But it's true, and it's happened to me
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: like every point in my life. I mean, it was
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: so weird professionally, Like years ago, I was a Chicago
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: theater actor and I had done a play at the
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: Goodman in Chicago and it ended up getting a production
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: at the Public in New York, but only two actors
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: from the cast were brought and I was not one
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: of them, and I.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: Was devastated, devastated.
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: And they were all going to New York and the
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: rest of us that got left behind. I ended up
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: like going it's a long story. I won't get into
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: the details. I just ended up being in LA for
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: pilot season through a series of events. I'd been flown
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: out to LA from Chicago for an audition, and I
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: was like, that wouldn't have happened if I'd been doing
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: the play in New York. I was out there with
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: an agent. I was like, none of this would have
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: happened if I hadn't done the play in New York.
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: And I literally like lied down. I'm not kidding at
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: my friends. I was in my friend's second bedroom. It
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: was beautiful, smell of like all those flowers in LA
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: that like waffed through your window on a perfect day,
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: and I was like, this is just so perfect. I'm
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: so glad that I didn't do the play and boom,
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: my phone rings, and the director of that play is like,
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: I'm we need to replace this actress. Is it possible
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: that you could come out to New York and immediately
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: all these things lined up? Where I called the only
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: person I knew in New York at the time. It
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: was like, they won't put me up, they'll fly me.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: How am I going to find a place to live
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: in New York if I want to go do this play?
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: And he's like, oh, I happened to be leaving my
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: apartment that's walked from the theater. Like just so many
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: things lined up, and it was My friend still talks
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: about it because it was like I literally had finally
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: released the like I didn't get the play. I didn't
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: get the play, and then the play just came back
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: and then everything kind of moved from that space. So
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: I know that that's a spiritual truth. It's just very
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: You can't really get there inauthentically, right. You just have
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: to actually get there, and.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: That's yeah, you have to experience.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: You have to be willing to like sit with it.
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you just have to be uncomfortable and upset for
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: as long as as long as take until you finally
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: just go Okay, I trust the universe, and I'm probably
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: a little bit better as I get older of getting
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: there a little quicker. But the divorce was not a
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: place where I did that well. And I felt so
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: good about all the growth that I'd made in so
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: many areas, but this was an area that I was like,
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: this just slammed me back on the ground, and I
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: was like, and so the movie too came out of
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: a time where I felt like I was in a regression,
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: which I do think can happen too, right, or you
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: think you healed that thing and then that thing like
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: comes and bites you, and.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like you're not off that free.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: No, you're not done.
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: We got a whole deeper level that we're going to
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: go here. So but yeah, I mean, how do you
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: get through it? Is through it?
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: Right. It's like a joke when one of the characters.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: Like he's the the stepfather in this movie and he's like,
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: the only way you know, the.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: Out is through, The only way out is through?
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, I love that character, by the way.
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: This really makes it funny instily when he comes on the.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: Screen, You're just like, what is happening. It's so good.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: Okay, So you I feel like just in general, this
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: whole story moment that you're in, your personal story was
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: about getting this movie made and then making the movie.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: But we all have these ideas, these big dreams for
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: what's next for us, a business, a book, even a
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: new relationship, that those things sometimes take a long time
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: to come to freeish fruition. And that's what happened with
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: you for making this movie. Do you yeah, what's your
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: advice for you know, to know when to keep pushing
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: or when is the time just gracefully let it go
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: and move on to something new.
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: You know why I felt like this one stuck was
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: because I really loved this story, like I would want
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: to see this movie, right, that's good. And there was
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: other things that I had written or I was trying
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: to make that we're not really what I love. You know,
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: I've done some really smart people's stuff, Like I've been
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: in a Coen Brothers movie, and I've been on Luis
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: K's show, and I was on Joey Solloway's show, and
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: this is all like, you know, very it's very smart,
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: like sort of hip, you know, like dark funny stuff.
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: But I am not.
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: I've tried to write that and it's been somewhat successful.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: Like I was able to sort of, you know, develop
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: get some development deals around me trying to do that.
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: But like I said, sort of when those things fell through,
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: I felt a relief because I didn't actually feel like
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: that was me. And this was the first thing that
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: I ever wrote where I was like, I am writing
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: this for me in my voice, and you know it
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: it means it's not as cool as like some of
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: the stuff I've been in, and you know, it's little
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: as Bradley and I always talk about. It's like more generous,
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: like I like accessible stuff. And so I was writing
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: in a way that was funny to me and was
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: and so that it's because this is gonna when you're
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: trying to do something new, it is it is like
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: going to take a lot of work, right, Like it's
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: not just going to like you know, like yes, so
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: it better be something you're enjoying doing for whatever that
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: you have.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: A passion for. Yes, you're going to.
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: Hold on to it. It's so hard to do. I mean,
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: this was really hard for me to do. I am
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: not someone who likes to do hard things. I was
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: like a voice factor for many years, and because it
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: was like the laziest job with the most money, and
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: that's what I wanted.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: I am not like a person. I like comfort.
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: I mean, that's the other joke amongst the people in
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: my life, who would have thought you'd be the one
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: who'd finished the movie because but it was because I
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: thought it was. I still can watch that movie and
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: it delights me.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: It delights you because it's so relatable your character. Okay,
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: I just needed to talk about this some more because
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: I really enjoyed watching it. Your character gets into some
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: you know, awkward, absurd and sometimes humiliating experiences and behaviors
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: that you know that can happen when you're trying to
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: reinvent yourself and you're entering into this unknown.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: It felt so real.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: So I have to believe that some of those stories
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: were things that actually happened in your life.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: I mean some version absolutely.
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And I've been pretty open about the fact that,
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: you know, I did go.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: This is basic.
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: So this movie's about It's sort of a wedding rom com, right,
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: and I went. And the movie starts with my character
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: getting into kind of a fling with a younger man
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: and there was a there was a wedding that literally
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: I felt it was like the most devastating weekends I've
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: ever had. And then Tough immediately started laughing at it.
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: Like the second we left. I was like, I would say,
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: almost the second we left, I started thinking, there's a
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: rom com in there like it because it was such
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: a joke. To me, it was like, literally you could
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: it wrote itself like, I'm a middle aged woman, I
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: just got divorced. I'm going to my first wedding since
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: my divorce. I did go with a younger guy from
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: my class as friends, but we had had a sort
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: of muddy relationship, but we were gonna go as friends,
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: and he was like, I promise, I'm not gonna leave you.
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna stay with you because I know it's gonna
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: be hard. And then as soon as we got there,
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: you know, he did what a normal human being would
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: do when you are like the young, hot single person
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: and all the girls are hot and you are drinking
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: and you go party and he just kind of went off.
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: Instead of me letting him go off and being an
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: adult and going to bed, I decided that I would
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: stay up till four o'clock in the morning and act
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: like a lunatic. I mean I was like, I'm like,
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: you're acting like a lunatic. I was just like, what
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: are you doing? And that night ended, you know, with
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: I had a guy vomit all over me.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: There was a there was a fight.
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: There was a fight because like one of the guys
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: in the party who was gay, hit on a trucker
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: at a bar at four o'clock in the morning, the
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: trucker and there was a huge.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: Like brawl out.
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: I mean, it was one of those weddings where it's
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: just a classic wedding, you know, and everyone's having sex
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: and everyone's wasted, and everyone's like and I am like
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: stone cult sober, which no one can ever believe.
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: I mean, I seem drunk always and I'm not.
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: You don't need it, as Bradley says, you do not
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: want to add alcohol to my situation. I don't need
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: I'm crazy enough and loose enough and whacky enough, and
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: I get like really like contact drunk and high with people,
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: so like if they're all drunk, I'm.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: Like, oh, and I'm just like, what are you doing?
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: Like it was so and then me and the kid,
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: I call him the kid wasn't as young as Nicoharaga,
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: but you know, we got into a really big fight.
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: On the way home, and then we and then Mike
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: we had to.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: Pick up Iris at her dad's and we just started
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: laughing at how ridiculous we had been the whole weekend
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: with each other, and we became friends again and everything
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: was fine. But I knew in that weekend that there was.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: A movie in there.
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: There's a movie in here, and it took me twelve years.
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: So Angelie Cabral, who plays my ex's new girlfriend, it
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: was her wedding that I went to, and jay Lecopo,
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: who plays the stepfather, was at that wedding with me, and.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: So there's a lot of like little Easter egg people.
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: And everyone who was at that wedding knew I had
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: this idea, had known I was thinking about making this
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: movie for years, and I just it took me that
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: long to sort of.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: Figure out the structure.
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: What was I made a short that was like really
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: dark and weird, and again trying to do things that
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: you know, in someone else's taste, like the things that.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: You thought people would want.
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: Yes, you know, what would get me good reviews or
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: what would get me boards or what would get me,
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: you know, festivals. The funny thing is this, the short
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: did nothing like nobody wanted it, and I realized how
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: half baked it was. I learned a lot from doing
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: that because I didn't really try very hard. I thought
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: I could kind of like half asset, and you know,
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: it's just a very interesting process where I'm like, you can't,
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: just like, you know, you're gonna have to work really
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: hard if you want to do this, you know. And
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: I worked really hard on that script, and I wrote
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: it over a thousand times, you know. I worked hard
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: on the math of it. I had financing fall through
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: three times. We ended up making it in eleven days
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: for three hundred thousand dollars. That's all I had. And
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: I was like, well, this is what we got, so
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: this is what we're doing. And that is an insanely
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: short amount of time to shoot the entire feature le folk.
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: It's insane when you think about how many pages you're
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: doing a day, And it was really it required me
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: just like never giving up. And I also had people
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: offer me money if I wouldn't be the lead, and
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: I was open to that.
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: But and it's not because I did the lead because
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: I mean maybe.
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: Part of me was like, okay, no one would give
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: me this part, But also like, who's going to know
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: it better than me when it's my story?
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, by life for sure.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: I could hire you to do it and you'd be amazing.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: But it'd be great.
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: But like, if you made a choice that was different
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: than mine, I'd be like, you're wrong.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: Even if you were directing them, you would never get
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: them to the place where in your mind you're like,
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: this is how it went down.
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: They would have no freedom they It would be no
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: fun for that actor. No, no, because any idea of
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: yours that's different than mine is just wrong. I can't,
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: you know, And I also don't have.
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: The time if I'm not on that schedule. On that schedule,
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: I was like, I have to do all of it.
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: But I literally like went to a cognitive therapist and
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: a therapist to discuss whether I was going to do
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: all three things.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: You did it, though, you did. You got to boss
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: your husband around as the director. Yeah, I was that fun.
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: I got to direct him in something and he had
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: the best time ever. I directed him in a funnier
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: dyed mockumentary called Bradley Whitford emotional stuntman and it was
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: like one of his favorite things he ever did. It
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: was written by this young guy, Matt. I can't like
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: spacing his name speaking of menopause and all that.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: But that was my big fear was like I was
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: really tired.
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: I was in perimenopause and I was also getting brain fall,
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: and I was like, how am I going to direct
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: a movie? But it turned out totally fine. That was
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: no problem, like once I was in the thick of it,
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: but I have problems like random memory shit. But anyway,
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: I it's like basically this this idea that when you're watching,
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: like you know, Brian Cranston in a great scene and
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: breaking bad, it's not actually Brian. It's Bradley who's been
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: brought in like he's like a stuntman and he's in
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: like the green, the green, like he's in a green
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: supreen screen. Yeah, he is a green screen and he
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: does your emotional work because most actors don't know how
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: to act, so they get Bradley to come in and
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: do it. And he got to improvise a lot and
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: he really really had a good time. And that gave
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: me the confidence to know that I could direct him.
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: What I wasn't really sure about was our chemistry or
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: our acting together, because yeah, because we hadn't done it,
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: and our scene was day two, Like our big scene
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: together was day two. And it was like, Butter, I mean,
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: I gotta tell you, it was easy. I mean we
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: were like it was good. It was so easy. I
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: couldn't believe it. I was like, wow, God, Wow, thank god,
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: I mean.
• 30:14
  Speaker 5: Thank god.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: It was like just talk.
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: I mean, it was just like and it edited itself,
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: like I remember our editor gave us a cut.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: I don't think we ever touched it. It was just like,
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: it's really sweet that scene. So I looked out with that.
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: I mean, there was a could have gone wrong, but
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: but and that was probably the most unknown. A lot
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: most people in that movie are friends of mine. I knew.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you had to call on favors, and yeah,
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: you got to call on favors.
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: That's one good thing about being older, too. You don't
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: care a lot more people in your life.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: This is true, and.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: You care less about like, oh, they're going to be
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: so annoyed, like just ask you because they can say no.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: I don't care exactly after you say no, I'll just
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: move on to my next idea exactly.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: I love just the overall thing the movie really gives
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: women and men permission to take risks and step out
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: of their comfort zone, even when they're in this messy
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: middle and in the process of choosing a new life.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: So I love to help our listeners and sort of
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: inspire them through your story. So how would you suggest
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: we start if we are feeling stuck and we want
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: something new, something different.
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: I mean the thing that comes to my mind, honestly
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: is like two things. One is like the internal journey.
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: So yeah, you're a really big believer. The older you get,
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: I feel like my ability to feel my gut is
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: like a lot better, Like I get like goosebumps when
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: I'm having a certain feeling. And so part of what
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: I'm always saying to people is like, deep down in
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: your quiet, at this place when you turn off like
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: all the noise, you know something that you might be saying.
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: I don't know, but there is somewhere I mean speaking
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: of like was it going to direct act? And at
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: the same time, I went into like a deep sematic
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: place with this person. So sematic therapy is kind of
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: a really interesting therapy. I feel like when you're older.
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: Because I've done a lot of talk therapy, right, so,
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: like talk therapy is fantastic, but I'd done it for
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: so long that wasn't really what was at the core
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: of what I was trying to get at, which was
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: like what do I really want to do? And I
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: had to get like I did a session with this
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: woman who I trust with everything, and we got real
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: quiet and she's always asking like what is your body
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: feeling here? What is your you know, and you have
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: to settle in first. It's not something that just like
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: comes right away because we have so much noise coming
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: at us.
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: But I had a session where.
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: It was like the biggest like goose bumps and like
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: weight came on me, which is what I would equate
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: with like truth for me.
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: Like because when it's when it's real fear, there's a lot.
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: Of panic and like my throat starts to close. But
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: when I'm in a place and if I pose the
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: question like do I want to do everything?
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: I was completely hit with like yes you do.
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: And so I kind of knew, no matter what fear
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: was coming up, that I had an answer and I
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: just had to keep like trusting that and not because
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: it's hard to fear can be two kinds of fear.
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: Some fear is.
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: Good fear, right, and it's telling you no. And then
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: some fear is just a bunch of noise. And so
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: part of it is just like when I'm not when
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: I'm really quiet, what's what am I feeling?
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: You know? And so but then the other part.
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: Of that is asking for help, you know, like not
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: thinking that any of this do you have to do alone?
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: And no matter what it is, that you're utter what
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: it is right, no matter.
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: It doesn't like and we think, and also that you
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: think you're supposed to know stuff you can't know until
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: you know, Like like, oh I don't know, so I
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: can't do it. It's like no, you you.
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: Ask for help. You'll learn as you go, right, you know.
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: And I really believe in it's scientifically proven that men
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: and I don't know if it's a testosterone versus estrogen.
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: I don't know what the core of it is or
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: it's cultural or physical. I don't know, but like men
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: are much more willing to jump in and believe that
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: they can figure it out, and women are much more cautious.
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: And it's like, you know, I had done two movies
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: with young guys who wrote, directed, and started their movies
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: and didn't think twice about it. And I'm a fifty
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: five year old actress who's worked for many years, have
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: been on a ton of sets and written scripts and
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: directed episodes of stuff. And somehow I don't know if
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: I have enough knowledge.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: To do this.
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: And it's ridiculous.
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: But and that is what we tell ourselves. The culture
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: tells us. Maybe maybe estrogen. I mean I've always said,
• 34:59
  Speaker 3: like gender is and real, but hormones are, you know.
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: I don't know where I am on the spectrum. I
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: just know that I need to like push myself a
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: little bit from a place of love, though not push
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: myself from a place of like, you know, you know,
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: fear for you're being a coward, none of that.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: It's now compassion for yourself, ask for help.
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: And listen to your gut, because your gut knows I'm
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: you know, like I love my gut.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: I never knew it when I was younger.
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: It was two, I was two nuts and everything was
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: like too crazy. But now I feel like my gut
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: really is strong.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: You know, It's so important that we get that comfortable
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: with ourselves. Yes, I love that. That's so encouraging for people.
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: The movie's so good. I just I want everybody to
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: see it. So how can people see it?
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: It's available right now, it's on demand anywhere on demand,
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: So honestly what's great is it's on Amazon.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: I mean right now.
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: It's like it's a rental or a buye. So there's
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: this phase and distribution. You hope to find us home
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: eventually where it's free for everybody, but it has to
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: sort of perform well in video on demand, So that's
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: what's happening first. So like anywhere like Apple, anywhere that
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: you know, YouTube, anywhere where you could rent or buy.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: A movie for available, which is kind of fun.
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: And it's ninety minutes, nice and easy, nice and easy.
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: It's it's you're not going to be like it's too
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: scared or you're not.
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: It's just stuff in it.
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: Like yeah, it's there's a funny but it ends with
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: I mean there's some there's some emotion, there's some depth,
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: I would like to think, but there's but it mostly
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: is meant to give you a chance to laugh and
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: to feel good at the end.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: Right, Yes, So if you're our age, you got to
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: watch this movie.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: Because you will relate for sure. Okay, So before I
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: let you go, Amy Landecker, what was your last I
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: choose me moment?
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: You know, I'm visiting my daughter right in Ireland right now,
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: and I've been traveling a lot. I've been doing a
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: lot of work trying to get the you know, for
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: on behalf of the movie. I've had some other projects
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: that are starting, and I was here and I was
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: feeling guilty that I wasn't staying longer because technically I
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: could kind of push it a day or two. And
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: so funny, Nko Hiraga is facetiming me as telling me
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: you're a little busy.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: Does not this does not happen.
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: He never tell me he did a great young guy
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: in the movie. For those who don't know, he's the hattie,
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: He's the haughty youngster. But I had to just I've
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: had a beautiful trip, and I'm like, you are pushing
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: out of some guilt that your child hasn't even put
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: on you, right like like it's like it's like, oh,
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: I literally was like, is your nerve system? Does it
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: need a change in the flight, a change in the hotel,
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: like things that yes, I could do, but should I do.
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: And I just kind of was like, no, I need
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: to go home and my kid is fine, and it
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: is my nervous system that needs to be taken care
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: of at this point because there's been so much going on,
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: and that would be like this weird moment. That's very
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: hard for me because I have a separation anxiety. That
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: is one of the things I've always had. And when
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: I'm having a really good time, I think I should
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: push it to have more instead of going, let's leave
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: on a high note, you know what I mean, Like
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: we had the best time. So I go, oh, but
• 38:40
  Speaker 3: and you know she did say one time, like I
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: wish you were here longer, right, you know, like oh,
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: I wish you weren't good, And then I just go oh.
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: I always have to watch that part of myself, you know,
• 38:50
  Speaker 3: and guilty even leaving the dog to come here is
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: the mom guilt because that dog I have like an
• 38:57
  Speaker 3: dog who's like mistreated when she was little. And so
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: I always have to sort of ask myself like like
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: are you.
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: Is like what do you need to do? What do
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: you need right? What do you need to do?
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: That is the best question we can ask ourselves, especially
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: at the stage in our lives.
• 39:14
  Speaker 5: Okay, it's okay, okay, better that than override and then
• 39:19
  Speaker 5: have feel stressed and tired and things fall apart because
• 39:23
  Speaker 5: you're not in a place where you have enough to give.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: Anyway, that's all what it's all about. That's what Choosing yourself,
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: that's the core of it right there. Choose yourself so
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: that you can be better for other people. Yeah, everybody,
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: see this movie. You're going to love it.
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: And I love you.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: You are a great lady.
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: Thanks, it is so not you two.
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: I'm so excited I got to talk with you.