Latest / It's Mom O'Clock / EPISODE 37: Should He Snip, Incase We Slip?"

Transcript

EPISODE 37: Should He Snip, Incase We Slip?" · It's Mom O'Clock

• 0:00
  Speaker A: Hey, mamas. Today's episode is brought to you by the Fortis Agency, a financial services firm located in the Bell Works building in Holmdel, New Jersey. We know that taking care of your family is your number one priority. And at the Fortis Agency, it's ours, too. That's why we're here, to offer simple, effective strategies to help you protect what matters most. Your loved ones and their future. We won't dive into any complicated financial jargon here. Instead, think of us as your partner in building a secure, comfortable financial path forward for you and your kids. And here's something special when you let us know you found us through the Mom o' Clock podcast. We'll make a donation to the children's specialized hospital. So by taking a step to protect your family and save for the future, you're also helping other children in need. Please reach out to Michael Divisio with this email provided next mdiviziofortisagency.com that is M. Divisio@the fortisagency.com and mention mama Clark. We're excited to be a part of your journey. Hello?
• 1:14
  Speaker B: You guys, stop. Is it Mama Clock yet? I'm going crazy.
• 1:19
  Speaker A: Heck, yeah. It's Mama Clark. Somewhere.
• 1:42
  Speaker B: We're back. We are back.
• 1:44
  Speaker A: It is not Valentine's Day, and there's only two of us. And we miss Chris.
• 1:47
  Speaker B: Totally miss him. Hope everybody survived Valentine's Day.
• 1:51
  Speaker A: I hope you were loved by your loved ones. You deserve that, right?
• 1:56
  Speaker B: Everybody deserves to be loved.
• 1:59
  Speaker A: Everybody deserves to be loved. I feel like we're a little down right now.
• 2:04
  Speaker B: Okay, sure.
• 2:05
  Speaker A: We're talking about something serious today. So my co host Emily, is feeling a little bit serious today.
• 2:12
  Speaker B: Very. I'm in my all black serious mode.
• 2:14
  Speaker A: But welcome back. It's Mama Clark. Somewhere not here.
• 2:22
  Speaker B: There's no somewhere. She has her son, slept at her mom's, and there's no kids here, which happens sometimes. But, like, just feels weird.
• 2:31
  Speaker A: Does feel weird. Do I look. Do I seem like I'm weird?
• 2:34
  Speaker B: Something's off.
• 2:34
  Speaker A: Do I seem weird? I feel weird.
• 2:36
  Speaker B: You're missing your left limb.
• 2:37
  Speaker A: I am. I feel a little weird. Look at my sweater.
• 2:41
  Speaker B: You're still in bed.
• 2:42
  Speaker A: I love it. I love a little sweater.
• 2:46
  Speaker B: You know, I've never in my whole entire life worn or a collar. A collar? Why?
• 2:51
  Speaker A: What's your problem?
• 2:53
  Speaker B: I feel like I would look like.
• 2:55
  Speaker A: You don't know until you try. Why don't you take this sweater when I'm done? You're good. Okay, fine.
• 3:02
  Speaker B: You can keep that one.
• 3:03
  Speaker A: I love my sweater.
• 3:04
  Speaker B: I love it, too. On you.
• 3:06
  Speaker A: Thank you. All right, well, anyhow, you got a story to tell me? Anything crazy? I feel like you. We've been on a lull with our stories. Like, I feel like nothing crazy has happened. Has it?
• 3:22
  Speaker B: Got nothing. My life is just boring. No. I just can't remember anything. Well, what happened this morning?
• 3:30
  Speaker A: I feel like you're like, I wish I was recording.
• 3:32
  Speaker B: Oh, my God. Yeah. Because I was trying to get the kids ready for school. They were having their Valentine's Day party. I had cupcakes. I had goodie bags. I had Valentine's. I had presents for the teachers. I had two hands and a thousand things. And we were so late. I was trying to get everyone out of the house. I was trying to get ready for this podcast, and I just feel like I left my house and it looked like a bomb. Like, I don't think I. At one point, I didn't shut the refrigerator. Like, I just don't shut things. Yeah. Just like every time.
• 4:00
  Speaker A: So you walked in your refrigerator, it was just over.
• 4:01
  Speaker B: It's just, like, wide open.
• 4:03
  Speaker A: Everything's expired a lot.
• 4:04
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 4:05
  Speaker A: That's so funny.
• 4:06
  Speaker B: Light goes off.
• 4:07
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 4:08
  Speaker B: Yeah. But no, it was a hectic morning, and I feel like that happens often, but just felt a little more extra hectic today.
• 4:16
  Speaker A: I mean, I hate that feeling.
• 4:17
  Speaker B: Yeah, it's the worst. It's just like. And then you're out of it, and you're like, okay, you can breathe. I can breathe.
• 4:23
  Speaker A: But you forget something. Like, someone forgot a shoe or something. Probably.
• 4:25
  Speaker B: Oh, my God.
• 4:26
  Speaker A: Like, who doesn't have underwear on, you know?
• 4:30
  Speaker B: Probably.
• 4:30
  Speaker A: That's how I feel. Honestly. My son's just, like, hitting the terrible, too, so he's just, like, not doing great in that sense. Like, just. Yeah, just being a little fresh and just, like, what he wants is what he wants. So I understand the terrible two phase.
• 4:47
  Speaker B: Welcome.
• 4:48
  Speaker A: Yeah, I'm here and we're live, but I'm managing it. And it's my husband. I think he's struggling a little bit with the terrible.
• 4:56
  Speaker B: You know, it's hard for you guys because, like, you. You definitely had a very easy baby.
• 5:00
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 5:01
  Speaker B: Pretty easy. Like one year old.
• 5:03
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 5:04
  Speaker B: And then when it hits, smacks you in the face.
• 5:07
  Speaker A: Yeah. You're like, fuck, what happened to you? Literally. I think I said that to another day. I was like, what happened to you? It's so cute, though. So I don't even give a shit.
• 5:14
  Speaker B: It gets.
• 5:15
  Speaker A: I like, wait.
• 5:16
  Speaker B: We.
• 5:17
  Speaker A: My husband. I laughed at something the other day that he did, and I just started hysterically laughing, and Michael was so mad. But then he looked back at me, and he was cracking up, too. What the heck was it? He was standing in his kitchen helper, and something happened. It might have been something along the lines of, don't throw that again.
• 5:37
  Speaker B: And he threw it.
• 5:37
  Speaker A: Like, threw it right at Michael's face. And I just laughed so hard because he, like, obviously did it on purpose. And I said to Michael, you just have to laugh because it's hilarious.
• 5:46
  Speaker B: I mean, sometimes you sometimes really just have to laugh. You have to, because you won't survive.
• 5:51
  Speaker A: You will not. But I feel like it's okay. It's all good. I'm not worried. I'm a little worried. But it's fine. It's all good. Anyway, so I don't really have, like, much of a story, but I cannot wait to get out of the. February. It's birthday month for Gio. He's turning to. I'm excited about all that, but this month is, like, terrible. I just want to get into, like, March, April, and, like, see some light, you know what I mean?
• 6:13
  Speaker B: I need some sunshine. We should. I really need to book.
• 6:18
  Speaker A: I mean, like, you literally have a place in Florida. I don't know why you wanted out. I know, but you should just, like, keep a couple weeks in the winter
• 6:25
  Speaker B: time for some for snowbirds. They want the rental for the whole winter.
• 6:29
  Speaker A: I know, it's true.
• 6:30
  Speaker B: Hard, but maybe, like, an island is calling my name soon.
• 6:34
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 6:35
  Speaker B: Aruba.
• 6:36
  Speaker A: I would love to go to Aruba, but you would want to bring your kids.
• 6:42
  Speaker B: See, I'm like. I don't know. Like, I would love a vacation without the kids, but also, I'd love a vacation with the kids.
• 6:46
  Speaker A: Totally. But, like, I feel like you need a vacation without your kids. Have you ever gone on vacation without your kids before?
• 6:51
  Speaker B: Kids? No. Right. So that's what I need.
• 6:54
  Speaker A: I have, like, a million of those coming up. But it's not like a vacation for us.
• 6:57
  Speaker B: It's like, wedding, and you guys are the busiest motherfuckers.
• 7:01
  Speaker A: It's.
• 7:02
  Speaker B: So you have more weddings coming up?
• 7:03
  Speaker A: Yeah, we have a wedding in Miami in April. We're going to Cipriani in the city for two nights for work.
• 7:10
  Speaker B: Busy, busy.
• 7:12
  Speaker A: My poor son. Like, like, I walked out of my mom's yesterday. He goes, bye, Mommy.
• 7:17
  Speaker B: See ya.
• 7:17
  Speaker A: Bye. Mommy is crazy because you'll be crying and hooting and hollering for me in a couple days.
• 7:23
  Speaker B: Or will he not?
• 7:24
  Speaker A: I mean, he's up. He's so in the mommy phase. Right now. Oh, my God. Everything's. Mom, I can't even be on the phone without him having a stroke. Oh, I'm on the phone.
• 7:33
  Speaker B: He's. Hey.
• 7:35
  Speaker A: I'm like, are you serious? What is that?
• 7:38
  Speaker B: I honestly never thought Joey, baby Joey would get out of that fees and then some one day they just do
• 7:45
  Speaker A: and he's out of it.
• 7:46
  Speaker B: Why aren't. Why don't you want mommy anymore? Yeah. Now it's all about Daddy.
• 7:49
  Speaker A: Yeah. Cause he's cool. Daddy's cool.
• 7:51
  Speaker B: Ugh.
• 7:51
  Speaker A: I know. It's okay. It'll come back.
• 7:53
  Speaker B: Should we get into it?
• 7:54
  Speaker A: Let's get into it. Because honestly, we need to talk about this.
• 7:58
  Speaker B: Yeah, we do. This is like real talk right now.
• 8:02
  Speaker A: This is real talk. Just a preference. I know how hard this is for you. I could just tell. But I think, just remember that this is a conversation between you and I
• 8:12
  Speaker B: and a million other people.
• 8:14
  Speaker A: No, And I think it's good to open up to allow others to hear your story and, like, what you're actually going through. This is like, real, real for you.
• 8:22
  Speaker B: Oh, yeah. I mean, I know. I'm sure a lot of other people are. Are dealing with things. And I. We said we'd always be real and raw and this is what's happening. But the whole episode, we're gonna get into the uncomfortable truth. Right now, what we're talking about is dealing with if you, you, you and your partner are not on the same page about having kids, having more kids, when to have kids, if you even want kids. And. But I'm going to talk about my truth and what I'm going through, and then you can talk about what you're going through. Okay. The trigger questions are, do you get triggered when someone's like, so when you're having the next baby.
• 8:59
  Speaker A: Yeah, I don't get triggered, but it's annoying because it's like, I don't feel like getting into the. Because I feel like I have to tell my story. That's just how I am. I can't. Like, I feel like you're not like that. I feel like you could just be like, one word, done. I have to, like, tell a story. It's so annoying that I have to do that. So I don't like that because of that reason.
• 9:19
  Speaker B: Yeah, I. I, like, never really thought about it before also. I just. In my journey, like, it was very easy for me to have babies, but I feel like it is the rudest question ever if some. You don't know what someone's going through. Like, if they're going through fertility, if they're going through their own struggles and you're like, someone, you having a baby, they're like, fuck you. Like, I just had a miscarriage last night.
• 9:39
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 9:40
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 9:40
  Speaker A: Like, why would you even want someone to say that to you? And then how uncomfortable do you feel?
• 9:43
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 9:44
  Speaker A: So I never asked that question.
• 9:45
  Speaker B: So hold those questions first.
• 9:46
  Speaker A: And if I do I preference. Like, if we're on the subject, I'll be like, I understand if this is like a weird question to ask or if no one wants to talk about it, that's all good. But like, are you interested in having kids?
• 9:56
  Speaker B: Like, yeah. Like, if you're talking with your girlfriends or like something like that, even then, like, you have to form it to you. I'll be like, all right, come on.
• 10:02
  Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, right to us, who cares? But yeah, totally, I understand the trigger. The trigger question is like too much. For sure.
• 10:08
  Speaker B: Yeah. But I feel also I was thinking about this a lot. Like, when you meet your person that you, that you are ready to spend the rest of your life with, there are like a million things that you think about, right? Like you, you have these dreams of buying a house, maybe having a dog, having kids, if that's what you want. And then if all of those things like, don't, don't go perfectly in a line, like, you have to plan like differently. Like, you don't think about all of these. I remember, I mean, I met my husband so early in life and we knew we were gonna get married. And I always thought like, yeah, we always just said, like, yeah, we want a big family. Like, but like, what is a big family? And like when you're that young, you don't really think about, like, what actually goes into having a big family. Like, it's a lot harder to say, like, yes, I want five kids, and then actually fucking do it, right? So.
• 10:57
  Speaker A: And you don't know what you're going to go through when you do have one, two or three kids or what your marriage is gonna go through or anything that happens along the way, right?
• 11:04
  Speaker B: And like a lot of curve balls come into the picture. Like, I was reflecting on just my journey of like marriage and kids. And so Joe and I got married. We were 26. And then we went on our honeymoon in Italy. And right when we came home from our honeymoon, we got the diagnosis of my father in law had terminal cancer.
• 11:24
  Speaker A: So like, oh, I didn't know that timeline.
• 11:26
  Speaker B: Yeah. Like, our first year of marriage was not candlelit dinners and vacations. It was caring for my Father in law for he. From the day we got home from our honeymoon, he like, he, he. We came home in September and he passed away like 10 months later. So like, and I remember thinking on our honeymoon, like we were carefree, like we didn't know this information yet. And I was like, let's make a baby. And, and Joe was like, let's take a second and like enjoy our first year of marriage first. And I was like, and thank God we didn't make a baby because that year of, the first year of marriage would have been so much harder. Like I couldn't imagine. Like I. That first year of marriage was like the year of cancer for me. Like it was just. I was taking my father in law to appointments every week. Like we, I would take him to the city, he lived with us. Like we were just taking care of a dying man. And like that put a to that was a huge toll on our marriage. And just like thinking about it was like, thank God I wasn't pregnant and thank God I didn't like do that whole thing because that would have just been way harder. And I remember my sister in law found out she was pregnant at the time. And like it was such a happy thing, but also it was so sad because we were dealing with like we knew dad wasn't going to make it right. And it was just all these like crazy emotions of real life shit that happens, right? But then like obviously he passed away and we were like, we wanted to sort of get. No. Like
• 13:06
  Speaker A: your saliva is moving around in your mouth.
• 13:09
  Speaker B: Insane. No, my saliva, My saliva is always insane.
• 13:12
  Speaker A: Insane.
• 13:14
  Speaker B: Thanks for that fucking laugh.
• 13:16
  Speaker A: I needed to make you laugh a little.
• 13:20
  Speaker B: So my father in law passed away and then like there was no. We were just so sad. Like I feel like the only thing that would make us happy was a baby. And that's what we did. Like we were very fortunate. Like, I didn't have any problem getting pregnant and we had our first baby and then we had our second baby and then we had our third baby.
• 13:41
  Speaker A: So what were the conversations in between all that?
• 13:44
  Speaker B: Honestly, like there weren't many. Like about having. It kind of just happened. Like we just. First of all, Rocco was an accident. Like we didn't even talk about having another baby. Like it just like happened. Yeah, like it just like happened. And that's a huge thing. Like an accidental baby. Like you don't.
• 14:05
  Speaker A: So just backtrack. You had your first, you were planning that and then you planned Vienna. Who's your second? Yeah, you were like, I want one Right now. Let's do it.
• 14:13
  Speaker B: Yeah. I wanted.
• 14:14
  Speaker A: So one and two were planned.
• 14:15
  Speaker B: Yeah. I wanted to get.
• 14:16
  Speaker A: And then I know Rocco was an accident, so talk about that a little bit. So you were two under two.
• 14:22
  Speaker B: Two under two. I was still breastfeeding V. And she was six months, literally on my boob. And I was also pregnant. And I was like, how What? Like, how did you.
• 14:36
  Speaker A: When you found out you're pregnant, like, what were your feelings and her husband's feelings?
• 14:41
  Speaker B: Jo definitely was like, oh, shit. Like, how are we gonna do this? But not in the sense.
• 14:48
  Speaker A: I took it lightly almost, because I remember you guys facetimed us laughing, and me, Michael, were more concerned than you guys were.
• 14:53
  Speaker B: Yeah. Like, I don't think that we really knew what we were getting into when we were doing it. But also, like, it was just like, the plan. Like, it just, like, happened. So we were like, okay, so this is what's happening. We're gonna have three babies under three, and we're gonna fucking do it. And we did it. I mean, a lot easier said than done, but do you think you would
• 15:13
  Speaker A: have had your third?
• 15:15
  Speaker B: No. When I think this is the conversation Joe and I have had that if I didn't. If Rocco wasn't an accident and I just had two, I would be begging for a third. Like. Like, so, like, wanting to be thankful
• 15:30
  Speaker A: that it happened the way it did.
• 15:31
  Speaker B: Right. So I am. I'm grateful that that happened the way that it did in the sense of I know my husband, and he probably would have been like, I'm good. I have my boy. I have my girl. And it probably would have been a really hard ask to have a third, which. So whoopsie's good sometimes, but not, like, now. So my struggle now is fast forward.
• 15:52
  Speaker A: Yeah. So let's get into that. Let's get into. You had three kids. Now you feel like your life's complete.
• 15:57
  Speaker B: Yeah, Like, I feel good. I do. But I just don't know if the feeling of me wanting another baby is ever gonna go away. Like, I feel complete, where it's like, my life is full, and I know that we have a. We have a lot to. Look, We. First of all, we're very blessed with the three that we have. It was easy for us to do. We just did it. Marco was the accident, and he was here, and everything is good. I have my two boys and my girl, and, like, why isn't. Why can't I just feel like that's enough? Like, to my husband, like, he is. So he is one foot in the vasectomy door, right? Like, ready? And I, like, want to get there, but, like, I just can't. And I don't know why. I don't know if it's because a little part of me, like, thinks maybe we. We should have a fourth. But also then, like, yesterday I was getting a wax, and I was laying on the table, and I. I've been getting a wax with this woman for, like, 15 years. So, like, she knows me. And, you know, like, all you do is, like, gossip on the table. So I'm sitting there with my legs spread open, and she's like, how are the babies? I'm like, they're good. And she's like, are you done? And I was like, obviously, the trigger word from right now. And I was like, I just kind of, like, word vomited to her. And she was like, girl, just be blessed and enjoy the babies you have. I just waxed someone literally right before you. She's on her fifth miscarriage, and she doesn't have one baby. And that just kind of, like, hit me. And I was like, you're right. Like, I do enjoy my babies, and I am living in the moment, but, like, why can't I just, like, chill the fuck out? And, like, I have three. I'm done. Like, I could be done. I should be done. But, like, why can't I just be settled? Right?
• 17:41
  Speaker A: No, I totally understand that. And I'm thinking of both ways because you just threw so much on the table. So first things first. Everyone has their own story, right? I feel like that's why it's such a touchy subject, because everyone literally has a different story, whether it's easy for you to get pregnant, hard for you to get pregnant. You want it, you don't want it. It happened by accident. You were younger, you're older. There's so many different things. So it kind of is a little unfair for someone to throw it in your face that someone came in. But I'm gonna say this and then say something else. That someone came in prior to you and had miscarriages, and you're obviously going to feel terrible that you're like, I think that's a little unfair for your wax lady to say. But also on another note, you know her very well, and I think she. To try to make you see a light, right? So, yeah, I just. I want to throw both those. Those out there. And then lastly. Go ahead.
• 18:32
  Speaker B: No, no, you go. And then.
• 18:33
  Speaker A: So that. And then I feel like the other side of things is you're just the type of person that I feel think find you find your love and affection and your passion through children. Like I don't even think it's just your children. I think you find joy and life through kids eyes. And I think to that plus being a mom and I don't think the thought of. And, and I, and I do think the thought of not being able to have kids. So two things. The thought of not being able to have kids as a mom, like generally not having any more kids is a weird thought as a mom.
• 19:13
  Speaker B: Right.
• 19:14
  Speaker A: Plus the thought of you actually not wanting to not have more. Plus actually the thought of you wanting to have more kids on top of that, I don't think. And my third note to you is because I think you find joy through the light of kids eyes more than others. I think you'll never feel settled but I do think deep down you're settled physically and mentally. But I think wise you're not because it's a weird thought for sure. But I do think like more than most you find joy through kids eyes. Like you really do.
• 19:51
  Speaker B: Like I truly envy people that are just like, like Gianna, our guest, she was like I have two, I'm done, I'm good. Like she said it so confidently, she knew it. And like I was like wow, like I would love to feel that way and my husband feels that way.
• 20:06
  Speaker A: Why are you upset that you don't feel feel that way?
• 20:08
  Speaker B: Because I don't know if I'll ever feel that way.
• 20:10
  Speaker A: But that's okay. Yeah, but I, but I think at a, at a point in time like when life changes like it has done for you pre marriage, marriage, after marriage, life has just changed.
• 20:23
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 20:23
  Speaker A: I think that'll eventually just blend and I think you'll be okay. The thought you'll always say, you know, I could have had, I could have had another.
• 20:33
  Speaker B: Right.
• 20:34
  Speaker A: But I think along the way you're finally, and I could be wrong. You'll finally be like okay, thank God we didn't really have another.
• 20:40
  Speaker B: Or you might say like I, I totally see that. And I, I, I could see myself doing that. But also like if I did have another, I, I feel like I would never regret a baby that I had.
• 20:52
  Speaker A: Totally, totally my husband. You're almost like I think you're reaching to have one by accident.
• 20:56
  Speaker B: So but that's the thing, that's like the biggest thing.
• 20:59
  Speaker A: So go into that a little bit.
• 21:00
  Speaker B: I don't want to do that because that will, will break your marriage by marriage.
• 21:04
  Speaker A: And it'll be like I told You.
• 21:06
  Speaker B: So there will be the resentment that can. Ha. That's a scary thought. Like, I was. I went out to lunch with my girlfriend, and she also has three, and she. She had to do ivf, so her situation is a little different. But she has, like, frozen embryos just waiting, and she, like, doesn't know if she wants that fourth. But, like, she actually has to pay monthly just to keep those babies.
• 21:29
  Speaker A: Right.
• 21:29
  Speaker B: Like, viable. And, like, me, I'm just trying to think of, like, should I. Should my husband and I, like, agree on having a vasectomy or not? And we were just talking about it, and she was just saying at least she has the option of she could keep them. And in a couple years, she can decide she knows she has it. And if Joe does get a vasectomy. And then I'm just like, yeah, so talk about that.
• 22:00
  Speaker A: So what was that conversation, I think,
• 22:01
  Speaker B: feel like, with my husband?
• 22:03
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 22:03
  Speaker B: I mean, he's. He just. He wants it, and that's it. And I want to. A vasectomy. And I just like that word. Just, like, gives me, like, a stomach ache. I'm like, am I really ready to, like, shut that door?
• 22:17
  Speaker A: What was that conversation? Like, the. The first, prior to you knowing that he was once the vasectomy, where you're at now, like, what was that first conversation? Hey, I'm getting a vasectomy. See you later. Bye.
• 22:28
  Speaker B: I mean, no, but he's been talking about it. First of all. He's been talking about it since Rocco was born. Okay. So it's been almost three years, and he kind of just never did it, which kind of makes me think, like, does he actually want to do it? But he does. He's just not the type to, like. I would usually book all of his appointments to all his things.
• 22:45
  Speaker A: You're also his wife, so if you feel a certain way, like, it's harder for a man who loves his wife to do that.
• 22:49
  Speaker B: No, he wouldn't just do it. Right. But he definitely feels adamant about wanting one. And I just. I think I was just asking for, like, a little bit of time, like,
• 23:00
  Speaker A: which I feel like you got.
• 23:02
  Speaker B: I got. And how old, Rocco? Asking for more time.
• 23:06
  Speaker A: You asked for time, and it's been two.
• 23:09
  Speaker B: More time. More time.
• 23:10
  Speaker A: More time, please. So where are you at now in the process with the vasectomy?
• 23:14
  Speaker B: Well, now I think I might have had an epiphany yesterday on the wax table, but I think we came to a decision that I will maybe get an IUD for the next year and a half, and then Revisit the vasectomy talk and see how I feel in a year.
• 23:35
  Speaker A: So what is his tone when saying, like, that conversation between you two, like, when did. Was the pivotal point where you're like, fuck, we are on different pages.
• 23:44
  Speaker B: I mean, basically the whole conversation. But I have to say, like, he, when he, When. When we talk, when we argue, like, he's very like, matter of fact, and I'm just. My head is more emotional, obviously, so it's really hard for me to communicate how I'm actually feeling. And I like, even like, called you or called my girlfriends, and I'm like, I have so much to say. And like, I. I want him. I want to. I want him to understand my feelings about it, but I can't do it because I'm too emotional. And so obviously a lot of it comes down to financial things. And like, he's old, which he is very, like, like, matter of fact about. And like, he did say something that was a little eye opening to me. He was like, look at our life. Like, think about our life, like, down the road, like, when we're 50, like, if I could retire earlier and like, we can just like live the rest of our life. Like, a fourth baby would. Would push that back more. Like, everything would. That would push back. I'm like, how is it fair for me to do that if he's like, the money maker? Like, how is that fair for me to, like, if I don't actually know 100 sure. If I want another baby to put that on him and then. But, like, how, like, it just go. It could go so many different. Like, you could go back and forth.
• 25:02
  Speaker A: Totally.
• 25:03
  Speaker B: Do you know. Do you know what I'm saying?
• 25:04
  Speaker A: No, no, I know what you're saying, and I totally agree because I kind of feel the same way. It's like, who are you to say anything when he handles the finances? Which I totally understand. But this is more than that.
• 25:15
  Speaker B: No, it's. It's definitely more than that. But, like, you have to think about.
• 25:17
  Speaker A: Totally. I mean, finances are everything. Totally. I mean, a fourth baby would definitely push that back. I just feel like, where do you come in? Like, where does your voice come in? And where does your voice matters in that. Matter in that conversation? Like, I know he's a matter of fact. I know how he speaks. I know his opinion on it all. Yeah, like, tell me, like, that hardship of the conversation. Like, I know you're not argumentative, but I know how strongly you feel about this. I mean, it'll. It'll wreck you not to be making a final decision. So.
• 25:46
  Speaker B: Right. So that's. What was that.
• 25:48
  Speaker A: What was that conversation?
• 25:49
  Speaker B: Like, it was just me saying exactly that. And I think he understood it a little bit more when I. When I did get, like, emotional about it. And he. I mean, he hasn't booked the vasectomy, so I think he understands.
• 26:00
  Speaker A: But he was, like, totally disagreeing with you or was he leaning on your side a little?
• 26:05
  Speaker B: No, I mean, not leaning on my side, but, like, if. When I. When I proposed, like, another option of like. Because his thing is he.
• 26:14
  Speaker A: Yeah, I never thought about that. Who gave you the IUD idea? It's a good idea. Oh, you just thought of it yourself?
• 26:18
  Speaker B: Yeah, I thought of it.
• 26:19
  Speaker A: That's a good idea.
• 26:20
  Speaker B: And. But, and, but, like, my thing was, like, I never wanted. I hate birth control. Like, I don't like taking pills. Like, I. But. And after I had my kids, I told him, like, I don't want. I don't want to put something inside me. Like, I. Like that's on you, like, if. If you're real. If you're done. So I did say that.
• 26:37
  Speaker A: Oh, so you kind of pushed the vasectomy on it?
• 26:40
  Speaker B: I mean, I. But I. What? Yes, but, like, not. I don't think I was really, like, serious about it. Like, I think I was just, like, talking outta my ass about it. And then when you really think about what it actually is, it's like, okay, now that chapter is over. We are done. And it's. It's crazy because, like, I. I said this to him. I was like, I like the idea of, like, may, like, just maybe having an accident. And he's like, I hate that idea. That idea is terrible for me. And I was like, okay, whoa. So, like, if, like, that's. That's fucked up. So, like, we can't have an accident because if he hates that idea and, like, that would ruin him, and I'm just like, willy nilly about it. Like, that would really cause a resentment in our relationship if we were to have that baby or not have that baby. So like, either way, it would be really hard. And I always go back to my mom because my mom, she has a long story about her fertility. But my brother and I, we were like three and four and my parents were just like, on the rocks, and my mom knew that she was gonna get divorced and she got pregnant and she ended up terminating that baby because she knew I didn't know that. That. And she knew that, like, she was already going to be stretched too thin. Like, she had Two babies, and she was going to be a single mom, and she knew that she wouldn't be able to be enough for three babies. And she, to this day, she says that she does regret it because, like, terminating baby to her is just, like, the craziest things she could do because she's always wanted a million. Like, she's like me. She wants a million kids. But she says, like, she regrets doing it. But also, she. She's happy that she didn't in regard to, like, her attention to my brother and I. Like, she was able to be such a good mom and, like, really be there for us, like, for everything. And if she had that third baby, she might not have been able to be so present. So, like, that always, like, resonates with me when she tells that story.
• 28:47
  Speaker A: Yeah, that's.
• 28:47
  Speaker B: That's.
• 28:48
  Speaker A: That's a story. I mean, I feel like her life turned out how it should have. But it's always a thought in your head you never want to regret is, like, the biggest thing of mine. I never want to have regret in life.
• 28:56
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 28:57
  Speaker A: So it's hard. And I feel like. I mean, it's a hard conversation, and for most people, I feel like it would tear their marriage apart. Right. Like, if you're certain types of people. But I feel like you guys are lucky enough where you guys are so opposite that you almost listen to each other. Like, you don't want to hear and correct me if I'm wrong. Like, I just feel like you don't. You. It's either. I feel like at this point, you guys, like, weren't talking about it. Like, that's how you guys are.
• 29:24
  Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 29:25
  Speaker A: Like, and if. And if anybody said anything, it was like Joey saying, this is what I'm doing. You're like, okay, but I feel like this is such a decision for you to actually speak up about.
• 29:34
  Speaker B: I mean. Yeah.
• 29:35
  Speaker A: So has there been, like, friction at all? Like, conversations that are like. I know. I know you guys have had hard conversations, but have you seen a conversation in your marriage that you've never seen before? Like, a type of conversation? Do you know what I mean?
• 29:50
  Speaker B: Yeah. But I think, like, this is it.
• 29:52
  Speaker A: I'm saying this for the viewers so they can.
• 29:54
  Speaker B: Yeah. Like, I think this is, like, the big one for us, because all the other ones, like, it seems. It seems crazy that we didn't have this conversation with each kid. But, like, with Vienna, we. We were both on the same page then. Rocco was an accident, and now it's like, okay, we're both like, yeah, split So I, and I think, like, I have girlfriends who have two kids and like, they're debating about having a third. And I also have girlfriends who have no kids and they don't even know if they want kids and they don't even know if like, one partner wants kids, one partner doesn't. Like, before you get married. I feel like that is a very important conversation.
• 30:30
  Speaker A: Yeah, I didn't have it, but I just feel like it should have been said. But I mean, thank God we were on the same page.
• 30:35
  Speaker B: But I'm sorry, but like, so you didn't have that conversation when you just both assumed, like, you're gonna have.
• 30:41
  Speaker A: Yeah, I feel like we were in conversation. I always was like, I love a big family. And he was, comes from a big family. And I just feel like we were never like, do you want kids?
• 30:49
  Speaker B: Never. Right. So I, I think it, I think it happens more when you meet somebody maybe later in life where it's like you have. Your biological clock is ticking and like, you have to decide these things, but it's like that is such a fundamental thing for a marriage. Like, if you're gonna have a fucking family or not. Like, are you gonna have a baby? Not. And like, you don't think about these things. Like I said, like, we were so young. Like, I, I could have said that I wanted five kids. And then like three years later we have three babies and it's just like, that's a whirlwind. Like you, you don't think about what actually goes into it financially. Just like all these things. Like, I thought I was going to be, be a behavioral therapist and I like went, I got my master's degree and I did all that. Like, I'm, I have student loans. And like, if I knew my life that I was going to be a stay at home mom, like, would I have done all of those things? But like, you don't know. You don't know. You plan for what you, you want to do in the moment and then you, you have to pivot. If.
• 31:45
  Speaker A: I mean, yeah, there's. I feel like everything in life is like that. I could say so many things my whole life. I was going to a rah rah school, I was going to Arizona, I was going to Coastal, I was going to Rutgers, and then I went to Hofstra, which was a party school, but not like a rah rah school. And I always thought, like, what would my life be like if I went to Rutgers? Would I have met you or would I have been closer with xyz because they went to Rutgers. What if I went away to Carolina? Would I stayed there like your life could have been. But my life turned out exactly how I wanted it to turn out. So you cannot. This is what I wanted to say to you to wrap this a little bit up. Like, I could say so many things, like, I'm thinking of college because you just mentioned. What did you just say that made me think of that? You said something that made me just kind of think of.
• 32:34
  Speaker B: I don't know, that I went to school. I thought I was going to have a. Oh, yeah.
• 32:37
  Speaker A: Yeah. So I'm saying this because you can say so many things and your life could have turned out in so many different ways.
• 32:44
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 32:44
  Speaker A: But as long as you don't regret what you've done.
• 32:47
  Speaker B: Right.
• 32:48
  Speaker A: Move on.
• 32:49
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 32:49
  Speaker A: Like, just move on and let life fold out. And I understand it's a little bit harder in your topic on. On your page because we have a biological clock and you can't have kids forever. Right. But you have to remember, okay, so you want a kid, you want kids, you want another one, you want another one. Your life passes by. Your kids are older now. Like, old enough to, like, be with somebody. Then they get married, then they have kids. Like, your life kind of starts over again. You're taking care of grandkids.
• 33:21
  Speaker B: It's so funny that you said that because I was thinking about that. Like, so my mom is just very involved in my kid's life. And she always said, like, you have your grandparents for, what, X amount of years? Right? But those core, like, 0 to 10. Like, you really have a relationship with your grandparents. Like, you're going in Anna's house, you're going to grandma's house, they're cooking for you, they're coming over. And like, you, you get excited when they walk through the door. Like my mom always says, like, think
• 33:47
  Speaker A: about your grandparents now. When's the last time you saw them?
• 33:49
  Speaker B: Right? Yeah. And they're in their 90s, and it's like, that stopped. That. It stopped.
• 33:53
  Speaker A: So it makes me sick. I just called my grandma yesterday.
• 33:56
  Speaker B: I know. It is really sad. So you have those. You have those core years.
• 33:59
  Speaker A: Yeah, you do.
• 34:00
  Speaker B: You're right. And my mom says that, like, being a grandma, you. It really does feel like you're reliving the early stages of being a mom.
• 34:08
  Speaker A: Right.
• 34:09
  Speaker B: And, like, if you're. If you're as involved as you want to be.
• 34:12
  Speaker A: Right. But.
• 34:14
  Speaker B: So maybe I should just be thankful for what I have and wait for grandkids.
• 34:18
  Speaker A: But also, no, totally But I think it's good that you guys are having this conversation and you're proposing ideas. I'll get an iud. Like, I think I need more time about this. Like, I'll get an IUD and then maybe sacrificing yourself, because.
• 34:33
  Speaker B: Yeah. You know, and, hey, marriage is about sacrifice, right? It's. It's not about totally having the next kid get having the perfect house. It's like, the goal of. Of a marriage is to have a healthy, stable marriage. Right. So you have to. It's about.
• 34:51
  Speaker A: And talk about the fourth kid. Like, it's gonna be on you girlfriend. Like, you gonna be you. You're gonna be doing the nighttime shift and the daytime sh.
• 35:02
  Speaker B: People say that. And I, like, love doing. I love staying up.
• 35:05
  Speaker A: Like, you aren't. But, like, you have to remember your kids aren't three under three anymore. Like, there's a lot of different things.
• 35:14
  Speaker B: There's a lot of different things. And I also have to remember, I mean, people that are struggling with if they should have another baby or not,
• 35:21
  Speaker A: because surgery like that is like. Like joby vasectomy, like, it's kind of permanent. Right. I know. You can reverse it.
• 35:26
  Speaker B: You can reverse it, but if you're getting it, you're not gonna. Oh, you're not going to.
• 35:29
  Speaker A: Right. But I just feel like when the feeling's not neutral, like, surgery, like, that is also.
• 35:34
  Speaker B: Like, I always thought that I would be the. Like when he does. And if he does get the vasectomy, like, I want to throw the vasectomy party.
• 35:42
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 35:42
  Speaker B: Like, you want to feel funny sperm.
• 35:44
  Speaker A: Like, I want to feel confident. I want to be like, you're so
• 35:46
  Speaker B: in it when he does. Totally. That if I'm not totally in it, then I. I'm not ready for attack.
• 35:51
  Speaker A: You don't want resentment. And, like, your intimacy and your chemistry and your sex life, everything just falls as when you guys are not on the same page.
• 35:58
  Speaker B: Right.
• 35:58
  Speaker A: You know, And I just feel like you're going through a little bit of an identity shift right now. Yeah. Do you want to be a mama 4 or do you want to stay a mama 3? Both sound fucking nuts, but I understand because I personally want five kids. Like, Michael's going to.
• 36:16
  Speaker B: You're still saying that my husband is
• 36:18
  Speaker A: going to roll over in his chair,
• 36:20
  Speaker B: but you actually want five kids. Yes. So you're going to just keep having kids till you're.
• 36:24
  Speaker A: I want five kids because in your 40s, Michael. Michael's going to roll his eyeballs, and I'll settle for three. But I had a really hard time. Like, not as easy as you. So I'm at a good place right now. Like, a good place. Like, I can. I'm not that type to be like, I'm ready to have a second. Like, I'm just going to have a second.
• 36:45
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 36:46
  Speaker A: I'm that type of like, can't say that.
• 36:47
  Speaker B: Like, well, you.
• 36:49
  Speaker A: I can't say I'm ready to have a second. I'm just going to have a.
• 36:52
  Speaker B: It's just going to happen.
• 36:52
  Speaker A: Yeah. Like, I've got that girl that says, like, I'm ready for number two. Like, I'm not a planner. Like my sister in law, Steph, like, she's like, I'm ready for number three.
• 37:00
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 37:01
  Speaker A: You know, like, I'm not like that. I wasn't even like that for number one. I just can't. My mind doesn't do that. And for no reason at all, actually. But I definitely am at a good place. I definitely struggled a little bit harder than you did. So. But I. My. The way I feel, love is with people and I love. I always take care of people and just like who I am and that's what's inside of me and it just makes me feel good and I love doing it. And I always use this example. I was at the airport once and I saw a mom and her four sons. The husband wasn't there, just her four sons. And I can never get the image out of my head. Like she was being taken care of by her four boys. And were they older? Yeah, like, they were. They were not like men, but they were definitely like kids in high school or maybe like in college.
• 37:54
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 37:55
  Speaker A: She like this little mom with her four sons. And it wasn't like four toddlers, it was like four sons. And I just like, can't get the image out of my head. Like, I want that life. I want to feel content in my circle and not have to feel and reach for feeling good elsewhere.
• 38:10
  Speaker B: Do you know what I mean?
• 38:11
  Speaker A: Like, I feel like you just want to.
• 38:12
  Speaker B: In your little.
• 38:13
  Speaker A: I want my. The circle of this table right here. I want my four kids and my husband sitting around or four or five or three, four or five sitting kids sitting. Sitting around the kitchen table. And I want to be like, I don't need anything else. And I'm not saying that's how I feel with Gio. I want my baby and that's all I want. But I do feel like I still want other things.
• 38:33
  Speaker B: Like, yeah.
• 38:34
  Speaker A: I feel like right now I'm at a place where I'M reaching. I'm doing a million things right now. You know what I mean? And I feel like you feel that way, but in a different way. Like, you know, we're on the same page in a sense. We want to feel content in our circle, but I feel a little bit differently than you do. But I definitely want a lot of kids for that reason. I just want a full house, and I want to be taken care of, and I want to sit down and look at my four boys and be like, I love this.
• 39:01
  Speaker B: He's having four boys. Mike. You hear that?
• 39:03
  Speaker A: He's gonna laugh so hard.
• 39:05
  Speaker B: No, but I get that. I mean, it's also just, like, wanting that big family. Like, I always said that I wanted a big family because it's just so fun and, like, the hustle, bustle, like, just growing up. It gets better.
• 39:16
  Speaker A: Like, I know it. I know it gets better. I don't care what people say.
• 39:19
  Speaker B: Yeah. I like to think that the best is yet to come.
• 39:22
  Speaker A: I love that. Should we end on that? Oh, I love that. Do we miss anything?
• 39:26
  Speaker B: No, I think I just want to wrap this up that, like, I feel like, these big conversations that happen within a marriage, like, it's. It's hard to just have a conversation with you about it, and I know people are listening, but, like, they are. Like, it's a lot more real. Like, then I'm. I think I'm letting off. Like. Like, I was very emotional. Like, I. I feel like you don't
• 39:49
  Speaker A: want people to be, like, a fourth kid. Like, are you fucking kidding me? I can't even get pregnant.
• 39:52
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 39:52
  Speaker A: Like, right?
• 39:53
  Speaker B: And, like, I don't. Like, ev. Most of my girlfriends went through ivf. Like, I. Like, I. I'm like, you know the process. I know the process. Like, I know how hard it is, and, like, I don't want people to think that I'm ungrateful, that I have three, like, healthy babies, and I'm like,
• 40:09
  Speaker A: totally, but you want what you want.
• 40:10
  Speaker B: You know what I want. But. And, like, obviously with my husband, like, we're. It's a hard conversation, but we're working through it. We. I came up with a plan.
• 40:21
  Speaker A: You came up with an IUD plan. We're all good. But seriously, I get what you're saying. Like, a lot of people struggle out there. A lot of people can't have kids, don't want to have kids. Taking a while to have kids. Going through so much right now. The struggle. The struggle is real, and we understand that to the fullest.
• 40:36
  Speaker B: Yeah. And, like, I Feel like that's what we're doing.
• 40:38
  Speaker A: This is just our personal. This is just me and you right now. We're just talking about what we are going through personally.
• 40:43
  Speaker B: Right. And I do think that just being married, being a mom, like there and like these big life decisions, conversations, like, it is so important to have and also to talk to your friends about, to talk to your parents about, like, just communication. It really is. And like, you don't even have to
• 41:02
  Speaker A: tell, like, the fact that you called me and we talked about it, I feel like, helped, of course.
• 41:06
  Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. You know, she told me when I called her, it was. It was in the height of the. The conversation and. And she was like, just write your feelings down.
• 41:16
  Speaker A: Did you actually do that?
• 41:17
  Speaker B: Yeah, I wrote my feelings down. And I. And I just read my feelings.
• 41:20
  Speaker A: I love that because, like, I totally did it.
• 41:23
  Speaker B: I was like overwhelmed with like. But also, like, I thought. Did you turn her back?
• 41:26
  Speaker A: Remember I told you to just face backwards?
• 41:28
  Speaker B: She goes face backwards. Don't even look at her.
• 41:30
  Speaker A: Don't look at him. I forgot you're so bad. I'm just picturing you doing that.
• 41:35
  Speaker B: Yeah. But like, these are. These are hard talks and like, you're already married. Like, you're not gonna. You need to push through and get through these, these big decisions.
• 41:45
  Speaker A: Yeah, totally. I'm happy for you.
• 41:47
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 41:48
  Speaker A: I think you guys will figure it out.
• 41:49
  Speaker B: Yeah, of course we will figure it out. But it's just. And it is hard when you're both on. Totally. Yeah.
• 41:55
  Speaker A: Michael will be fist fighting in the back.
• 41:58
  Speaker B: Yeah. Me and him, I mean, it's hard and I. I know that. I'm sure the people listening there, they have decisions about having another kid or not having losing a child. There's just like a lot miscarriages.
• 42:10
  Speaker A: There's a lot that goes on that, you know, is hardships on a marriage and treats their own. You know, it's hard for you. Is hard not hard for someone else and vice versa. And I just feel like you're gonna figure it out and you got this.
• 42:24
  Speaker B: Yeah. And we're here for you.
• 42:25
  Speaker A: We're here for everybody.
• 42:26
  Speaker B: Yes.
• 42:27
  Speaker A: Okay, Moving on.
• 42:29
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 42:30
  Speaker A: And turning the note upside down to worth my time. Yeah, Worth my time. So you tell.
• 42:35
  Speaker B: You tell you're worth your time. And then I will talk about it.
• 42:39
  Speaker A: You're so upset. So every morning I use my lume box. It is a red light. My lume box.
• 42:44
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 42:45
  Speaker A: It is red light therapy. You can use it on any body part. I do my face for about 10 minutes, or as many minutes I can without my son coming in and being blinded by this red light. And it's comes on a stand, but you could detach it and use it on any body part. It's so good for you, so good for your bones, so good for your stress, so good for your inflammation, so good for your joints. It's good for everything. And you should invest.
• 43:09
  Speaker B: Well, I. I sent her some Instagram ad, and she goes, don't buy another.
• 43:14
  Speaker A: Well, because your husband scares me, and so does mine, because my husband's your financial advisor.
• 43:18
  Speaker B: Wait, so.
• 43:18
  Speaker A: And he advises me to tell you not to buy another thing. Here we are. But that is absolutely worth my time.
• 43:25
  Speaker B: Keep it in the family.
• 43:26
  Speaker A: I love it. It's like my 10 minutes to myself.
• 43:28
  Speaker B: But do you only use it on your face?
• 43:29
  Speaker A: Yeah, for now. But I kind of do my C section scar, too.
• 43:32
  Speaker B: Yeah, I was gonna say, does it like.
• 43:34
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 43:35
  Speaker B: Could it? Yeah. All right.
• 43:37
  Speaker A: What are you trying to say? Make you skinny? Yeah.
• 43:39
  Speaker B: I mean, I'm down for anything that makes you skinny and makes you tan. Does it tan you?
• 43:43
  Speaker A: No, it does not tan you.
• 43:44
  Speaker B: Damn it. It needs a UV light in there too.
• 43:47
  Speaker A: No, it doesn't. But what's worth your time?
• 43:50
  Speaker B: Oh, worth my time this week was a little play cafe. It's called Small Town Play Cafe. It's in Westfield.
• 43:56
  Speaker A: Love it there.
• 43:57
  Speaker B: It's really cute, and it's.
• 43:59
  Speaker A: The concept is cute.
• 44:00
  Speaker B: The concept is cute. I am a huge park shark. I have gone to every play place under the sun in.
• 44:05
  Speaker A: You're so scary. I have gone to every place under
• 44:08
  Speaker B: the sun, so, so extra. But I do love a play place, and I do not sanitize them either.
• 44:16
  Speaker A: I love that place at Westfield. It's cute.
• 44:17
  Speaker B: It's a cafe. It's a cafe. You walk in, it has. They have little treats and coffee and espresso, and they even have, like, a little gift section that has little trinket toys. And then you go in, and it's, I think, a very clean little town. Aesthetic. Yeah. Aesthetically, it's a little town.
• 44:36
  Speaker A: Yeah, it's a good way to put it. It's like, small town.
• 44:37
  Speaker B: Yeah, it's a little town. It has a fire station, a hair salon. It has, like, little cute things. And my oldest is almost a little too old. He's five.
• 44:48
  Speaker A: But there's only also rooms for, like. I remember bringing Gio at seven months. There's a little.
• 44:52
  Speaker B: There's a little toddler area. It's like, all soft play. Rocco loves it there. And It's a good. It's good for, like, a little play date. Yeah. A little toddler. It's definitely more on the younger side. Yeah. For babies. But it is a really cute spot.
• 45:08
  Speaker A: And, like, 2 years old is a sweet spot. I feel like.
• 45:10
  Speaker B: Yeah, like two.
• 45:11
  Speaker A: Vienna's still good, though. Three.
• 45:12
  Speaker B: Yeah, Vienna loves it. Oh, they have a little grocery store.
• 45:14
  Speaker A: Yeah. Cute.
• 45:15
  Speaker B: It's cute for, like, a magic.
• 45:16
  Speaker A: And it's compacted, so you can't lose your children.
• 45:19
  Speaker B: You can't lose your kid. And also, if you. If you don't want to be on the floor actually playing with them, you can just be sitting at, like, a bar top, drinking your coffee, playing, watching your kid play. I never do that. I'm, like, in the ball pit.
• 45:31
  Speaker A: You're, like, in the ball pit doing your daughter's hair at the salon.
• 45:34
  Speaker B: But working moms, they. I see.
• 45:35
  Speaker A: Yeah, I see that, too.
• 45:36
  Speaker B: That's cool. That's a good place.
• 45:37
  Speaker A: Yeah. I can never work and, like, not watch my kid.
• 45:40
  Speaker B: Small town play cafe.
• 45:41
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 45:41
  Speaker B: Shout out.
• 45:42
  Speaker A: Shout out. Do we have any tea of the week?
• 45:45
  Speaker B: Well, no, we can't talk about anything because everything turns to politics.
• 45:49
  Speaker A: I know. I'm so afraid to talk about anything,
• 45:53
  Speaker B: but we can talk about something nobody cares about.
• 45:56
  Speaker A: Let's do it.
• 45:58
  Speaker B: What's her name?
• 45:59
  Speaker A: You ever watch the Big Bang Theory? Penny.
• 46:01
  Speaker B: Penny, yeah.
• 46:03
  Speaker A: She was the best actress on Big Bang Theory. Her real name is Kaylee Kuklo. Why can't we pronounce her last name? It's Kayleigh Kuklo. It's not it. No, it's Kaylee Kukla.
• 46:19
  Speaker B: Kayleigh Cuca. Yep.
• 46:21
  Speaker A: Is that right?
• 46:21
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 46:22
  Speaker A: Kiko.
• 46:23
  Speaker B: No. Cuco.
• 46:23
  Speaker A: Cuco.
• 46:24
  Speaker B: Cuco.
• 46:24
  Speaker A: Kaylee Cuco.
• 46:25
  Speaker B: Yeah. Fiance. Tom Pelfrey.
• 46:29
  Speaker A: So she just came on this podcast. Not on podcast. A podcast.
• 46:33
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 46:33
  Speaker A: And said that her and her fiance do not sleep in the same bed.
• 46:38
  Speaker B: He has a separate guest room.
• 46:40
  Speaker A: He sleeps in this. In the guest room. That's insane to me. Happy that she was open and honest. I'm all about honesty.
• 46:46
  Speaker B: And she was nervous about how the public would do that.
• 46:49
  Speaker A: So we're about. We're about to be the public that is viewing that. I am not a fan of that. I don't understand that unless you, like, kick and scream and sleepwalk and, like, have snoring issues and breathing issues, maybe that could be a sign to maybe sleeping. I just don't believe that you should be sleeping in separate rooms. That's weird to me.
• 47:07
  Speaker B: I don't know.
• 47:08
  Speaker A: I just grew up in A house, though, that my parents slept in the same room. Yeah, but they don't now, though.
• 47:13
  Speaker B: But I do think that later in life, there are a lot of parents that don't see.
• 47:19
  Speaker A: They're not later in life. They're not even married.
• 47:20
  Speaker B: No, I know. I think it's terrible for them. We'll probably see their divorce paper soon.
• 47:25
  Speaker A: Totally. I mean, I agree. I don't like that. I need to know why.
• 47:29
  Speaker B: But she did say she was initially hesitant, worrying, what will people think? And then after talking it through, she realized, it doesn't matter.
• 47:37
  Speaker A: Why did she say it then? She. We don't know why she said it. Let's ask her. No, honestly, though, I don't believe in that shit. And to each their own. I'm all about that. But I'm gonna give you my opinion, because this is my podcast. I'm gonna say whatever the fuck I want. I think that's just a death trap waiting to happen.
• 47:58
  Speaker B: Yeah. She said that they try to spend quality time in other areas. Like, they watch their shows, just not in bed. So, like, I don't know. Joe and I don't even watch shows together, but.
• 48:08
  Speaker A: But, like, imagine going to bed and be like, all right, honey, see you later.
• 48:11
  Speaker B: Yeah, I don't like that. Like, I like cuddling. Like, I like being in bed together.
• 48:14
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 48:14
  Speaker B: And, like, I also like knowing there's another body, like, next to me.
• 48:18
  Speaker A: Totally.
• 48:18
  Speaker B: Like, in case the killer comes. Totally.
• 48:20
  Speaker A: Don't mind. Don't. I mean, if. If our son wakes up and he comes in our bed, like, Michael will be like, okay, I can't take this home. I'm going in the guest room. But, like, that is a reason to not, like, hey, we're parting ways. Good night.
• 48:30
  Speaker B: Right?
• 48:30
  Speaker A: That's a little strange to me.
• 48:31
  Speaker B: Yeah, that's weird.
• 48:32
  Speaker A: I need to know a little bit more about the dynamic.
• 48:34
  Speaker B: I don't really like that, but.
• 48:35
  Speaker A: We love you, Penny.
• 48:36
  Speaker B: Love you.
• 48:37
  Speaker A: Anyways, that's a little pop culture skit of ours. We really.
• 48:42
  Speaker B: We're trying with pop culture. It's tough.
• 48:45
  Speaker A: But anyway, I got nothing else.
• 48:48
  Speaker B: You?
• 48:51
  Speaker A: No, I'm happy for you. I'm proud of you, and I think you're doing an awesome job for you, honey. Before kids is crazy.
• 48:59
  Speaker B: All right.
• 48:59
  Speaker A: Bye,
• 49:06
  Speaker B: Sam.