Latest / The Manifestation Station / Ep 69. Master the Five Love Languages for Manifestation: Love Yourself First

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Ep 69. Master the Five Love Languages for Manifestation: Love Yourself First · The Manifestation Station

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You're listening to the Manifestation Station podcast.
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I'm your host Holly Edwards and together we can help create your magic.
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Welcome back to another episode of the Manifestation Station.
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I'm your host Holly Edwards. Thank you for joining me.
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This is going out slightly late. You may have noticed, I did have a few messages
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saying, where's our weekly podcast?
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Where's our weekly dose of the manifestation station? So I can only apologize,
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but I've only missed it by a day because really it was meant to be out yesterday
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on Sunday. I normally actually bring them out every Friday.
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Sometimes I cheat and bring it out on Sunday because that means it's still within the same week.
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But I have had one hell of a week last week. So please do let me off.
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If I could tell you the week I've had, I'm not going to bore you with it because
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I am meant to be lifting you up and giving you all of the manifestation magic. But my week was crazy.
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Plus, hello for all of you living in the UK.
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Oh, how gorgeous is the weather? We are. I feel like it's a.
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Can I say we're on the tip of summer? Isn't it just gorgeous?
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And doesn't it make everything romantic and magical and beautiful?
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And that is why I'm going to bring you another episode today that is going to
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fill you with love, self-love and inspiration.
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And today is going to hit a little bit different because we are talking about
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something I think that sits at the very core of everything you are trying to
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manifest and that is the relationship that you have with yourself.
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There is nothing more important than the relationship you
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have with yourself and when I am teaching manifesting or I'm coaching my one-to-one
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clients sometimes I try and strip back all of the other processes all of the
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other things that you can and tools that you can use to help you manifest your dreams,
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I strip it back and I come back to this one thing, which is what is your relationship with yourself?
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How are you treating yourself? Are you treating yourself with kindness?
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Are you showing yourself love in a whole bunch of different ways,
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which we're going to talk about today?
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And more specifically, I'm actually going to tie it into one of my all-time favorite subjects.
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Now, if you know me in real life, if you are one of my friends or family,
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you will know that I love talking about the five love languages.
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I am obsessed. So a few years ago, when I was single, I actually went on a date
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with someone and they said, oh, what's your love language?
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I'd say this was probably a while ago, actually. This must have been about eight years ago.
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And I was like, what do you mean? And they said, have you not read this book by Gary.
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I think it is actually called The Five Love Languages. And I was like, no.
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Anyway, I think I read it over a whole weekend and it blew my mind.
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Now, I actually think The Five Love Languages are spoken about all the time
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now. It's become a bit of a trend and everyone's like, what's your love language?
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If you're watching Love Island, they're like, yeah, my love language is physical touch.
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Well, I'm going to explain it in a lot more detail because it will blow your mind.
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It will change the way you are in
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relationships not just romantic ones but the
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romantic ones too but also it's about how to
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love yourself using the five love languages so like I say you you have probably
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heard of these love languages by now but what most people don't realize is that
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how important it is to make sure that you are loving yourself in all of those
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five love languages as well.
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Otherwise, you may feel depleted of love and maybe make yourself feel unappreciated.
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And this is where it's so important because the more you realize that you must
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love yourself, I'm giving you permission to love yourself today,
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that the more you realize actually how you can change your life around,
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how you can feel so much better on a day-to-day basis, but also how it can absolutely
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elevate and raise your manifesting gain.
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So if you're sometimes thinking, I don't know, maybe you feel like you're always
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chasing validation, maybe feeling unseen, maybe over forgiving,
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attracting people who don't meet your needs.
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Maybe you wonder, like, why does this keep happening to me?
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So maybe you're dating, if you're single and dating, I have a lot of friends
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and they're like, why do I keep attracting these same people that don't show
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up for me, that are flaky, that I feel like I'm the one always making the effort.
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Well, this episode is really going to resonate with you.
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We're changing that. We're going to break down the five love languages,
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help you figure out which one you are,
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talk about how this is affecting your relationships in real life,
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and then most importantly, how to start loving yourself in your language.
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That's what's important. This is going to be personalized to you because when
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you do this, you will stop begging for love and start embodying it yourself.
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So I guess we should probably get close to what are the five love languages,
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but the five love languages are basically the different ways that people give and receive love.
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So the key thing to understand is not everybody feels love in the same way.
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So you might think, well, of course, of course they know I love them.
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I do this for them. I tell them I love them.
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I cuddle them when they're getting from work but if
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you're not speaking their love language they won't
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feel it now when I tell you this will blow your mind honestly
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this has made me question past relationships and
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when I maybe felt unloved or unheard and actually I realized we were speaking
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different love languages so and this goes the same for you because like I said
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this isn't just about relationships I'm actually mainly talking about how to
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love yourself in these love languages today So if you're not speaking their language,
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they won't feel it. And the same goes for you.
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So you might be doing all of the self-love things, journaling,
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affirmations, baths, positive thinking.
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But maybe you still feel a little bit empty.
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And that is because you're not speaking your own love language.
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So it's about tuning in, working out what your love language is,
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and then really inviting yourself.
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You're kind of I always think it's kind of getting
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to your higher self and going I know exactly what
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I need and you're trying to receive love
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in a way your nervous system doesn't fully register and that is why this matters
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so much let's go through very quickly what the five love languages are and I'm
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going to explain them to you in a little bit more detail so number one is words of affirmation.
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So this is you wanting to hear those words. This is all about verbal love.
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So you feel loved when someone tells you they appreciate you.
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You feel loved when you hear them say, I'm so proud of you.
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You feel loved when maybe they text you and you receive kind,
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encouraging, loving words. You look beautiful.
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Thank you for making my dinner today. You're amazing. You're an amazing partner.
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You look amazing. These are all words of affirmation.
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Now, if that light lights the fire up inside you and that makes you feel appreciated,
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if this is your love language then silence
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can feel like rejection so even if someone is
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doing something for you in other ways maybe they're taking your car and filling
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it up with petrol maybe they're cooking you dinner but they're not telling you
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I love you you are appreciated then you will still feel rejected and you don't
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just want to know you're loved you want to hear it.
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And that is why words of affirmation is so important and knowing that if that is your love language.
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So just so you know, everyone will have one main love language,
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one main love language that will speak to them.
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But often people might be bilingual and you might have a kind of secondary language that you speak.
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So the next one, number two, is acts of service.
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So this is love. People will show you love through doing, through doing.
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So you feel loved when someone helps you, makes your life easier,
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take something off your plate. So that might be helping you to do the washing,
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taking your car for an MOT, someone that goes and gets to shopping or says,
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I'm going to pick the children up.
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It's not about grand gestures. It's about the little things,
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everyday things that lighten your load. Something,
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someone doing an act of service for you. Let me do that for you.
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Let me take the weight off of you for that.
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If that is your love language, that will feel like love to you.
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Number three is receiving gifts. Now, can I just say, when I say this,
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everyone always goes, well, I'm all of these things.
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Who doesn't like gifts? Now, me personally, I love a gift.
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I love a thoughtful gift where someone's thought about me. But actually,
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when I think about it, it's not my main love language.
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And I actually realized this quite a few years ago, about 10 years ago,
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when I was dating someone and I was feeling very, I wasn't very prioritized
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in that relationship and I was feeling quite unheard, unseen.
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I was like, kind of felt like I was shouting, going, please love me, please love me.
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And this person would always bring me gifts.
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So I wouldn't have seen them for three weeks. They wouldn't have prioritized me.
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They would have canceled dates and then they would always bring me gifts.
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And I felt nothing from them.
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Absolutely nothing. Now, when I got to know about these love languages,
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I had this realization afterwards, once I kind of entered it and moved on, I realized, oh, wow.
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This person did love me. And I was honestly shocked.
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It kind of made me laugh a little bit because I thought their love language,
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I think, I believe was giving gifts.
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And I even remember on one Valentine's Day, now this might give you a hint as
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to what one of my love languages is.
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I hadn't seen this person. They hadn't really been showing up.
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It was Valentine's Day. And all I wanted was a handwritten card with some lovely words in it.
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I love I love a note I love a love note
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I love a lovely a loving text message I love
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being you know told that I've loved and all
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I said was I really just want I don't need anything Valentine's isn't
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that big to me just a handwritten card and they were like well
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you know you'll get what you're given and he
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turned up and it was a bit of a it was
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a bit of a weird kind of sensitive subjects he
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turned up with a gift and I said that's
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great thank you very much because I'm very appreciative but
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I said where's the card and he
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said well I didn't want to queue up with all those other people in the shop
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and get you a card but there's your gift and I was gutted and I thought I've
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actually spelled it out that that's all I needed and I realized at the time
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I had no idea about love languages but I was crying out to hear it and that
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was my love languages and he probably thought, well, I've bought you a gift.
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What's the problem? Now, again, doesn't mean that I don't like gifts,
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but my love languages are personally words of affirmation and physical touch.
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That's what makes me feel loved. So let's get on to number three again, receiving gifts.
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This isn't about being materialistic. It's actually more about thoughtfulness.
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And that's, I do love thoughtfulness.
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You feel loved when someone sees something and thinks of you.
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Oh, I saw this and thought of you. You will love this. So I picked it up and I bought it for you.
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You receive meaning, intentional gifts, and there's effort behind it.
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So it's the symbolism that matters to you.
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Number four is quality time. So this is undivided attention.
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So you feel loved when someone is fully present with you. There's no phones,
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there's no distractions.
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It's just real connection. And there's something lovely in that, isn't it?
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Whether that's your partner saying, I want to spend time with you this weekend.
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Let's go here on Saturday. I just want to be with you. I mean, isn't that lovely?
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So that could be you, quality time. And then number five is physical touch.
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So this is connection through your body. You feel loved when you're hugged,
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when you are holding hands, with physical closeness, if someone kisses you on
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the forehead, strokes your hair, it's grounding, it's regulating, it's safety.
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And what I love about these love languages is that when you realize which one
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you are, I'm going to help you to decipher which one you are if you don't know yet.
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You may already think, oh, there is one that is absolutely screaming out at
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me. But if there's not, I'm going to help you.
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But what is mind-blowing is that when you realize what your love language is,
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you can communicate that with people, with your loved one.
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You can communicate that but also
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the most amazing thing is that when you work
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out what love language your partner speaks everything
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falls into place because you realize that perhaps say you're having a bit of
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a tough time and you're not really gelling at the moment and there's a little
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friction you can realize understand what your partner's love language is and
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when you start speaking their love language,
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even if it's not your own, but you know that that is the way that they receive
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love and that that is the way they give love, it changes your relationship completely.
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So let's figure out together which one is yours. So here are a few powerful ways to figure it out.
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Firstly, what do you crave the most? So if you really think about if you're
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single and you're looking to attract your soulmate or if you're in a relationship,
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what is it that you crave the most?
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So when you're having a bad day, what do you wish someone would do for you?
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So you may think, oh, I just wish I could fall into someone's arms and then
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hug me and tell me it's okay.
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I wish I could get home and someone say, look, I'm proud of you.
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I wish that I could get home and
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someone would help me unpack the shopping and put the kettle on for me.
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What is it that you crave the most? The other thing that you could look at is
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what hurts you the most when it's missing? Now, this is one of the biggest clues.
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Why am I feeling unloved? What is it that I'm missing? And I think one of the biggest clues.
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Tools or one of the biggest clues I should say about
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figuring out which love language you are is what
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do you say out loud what do you say out
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loud to your partner or if you're single what is it that you say to your friends
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when you're looking for a partner now I have a single friend and they always
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they live on their own they live in their own flat so they're always doing the
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things like changing the light bulbs and doing things which they always think
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are not the girly jobs to do. They think that if they're with a partner, they would help.
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And they always go, see, this is when I really feel like I need a partner.
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I do everything on my own.
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I have to take my car for an MOT on its own. I have to change the light bulbs.
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I have to fix the television when it's broken.
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So I think, I believe that they are acts of service.
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That's what they're craving the most. So what hurts you when you're missing?
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Is it when your partner doesn't thank you for the
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amazing dinner that you've put on that all of
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the things that you've got done today is it that you dress up
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and you come downstairs and your partner doesn't tell you how amazing you
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look is it that you get in from work and you you aren't
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hugged and you aren't kissed so that could be a really big clue another
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big clue is how do you naturally show love
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to others so we tend
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to give what we want to receive now this is a good way to
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notice perhaps if you're with someone what
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your what love language your partner is speaking so what do they give so when
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they are showing you love are they showing you physical touch are they wrapping
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their arms around you kissing you are they telling you you're amazing are they
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doing acts of service things around the house things on your car.
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Are they buying you gifts these are the clues so we tend to give what we want
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to receive so again if you are looking at which lovely language you are what
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do you do what do you do how do you give love to your friends do you tell them
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they're amazing do you tell them you're proud of them.
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Um what do you complain about in relationships excuse me this is your other clue,
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So if you are in a relationship and you're saying, they never say nice things
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to me, they don't make time for me, I do everything for them.
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This is another clue into what love language you're speaking.
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Now, how does this impact your relationship? This is where it gets really,
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really interesting because most relationship issues aren't actually about love.
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They're about miscommunication of
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love so you could have one person
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giving gifts like the ex partner
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that I was talking about and you could have the other one craving quality time
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now that actually was a little bit like our setup and both of them are thinking
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why don't they love me properly why don't I feel loved but they are loving you
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just in a different language now once you start to understand this.
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I'm hoping that your mind right now is unraveling and going,
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wow, this is incredible. My partner does love me, but in another way.
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Or maybe you might think about past relationships or someone that you're dating
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where you're thinking maybe they're not quite showing up, but in your language.
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And when you don't understand this, when you are feeling like they don't love
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you properly, you will feel unseen, unappreciated.
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You start creating stories in your head about how they don't love you.
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Maybe you pull away or overcompensate.
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But when you do understand this, everything softens. You start going,
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okay, well now actually I can ask for what I need.
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Now that I know what my love language is, I can ask for what I need.
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You can also recognize love when it's there in a different language.
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And you can stop expecting people to read your mind. So here's the truth of
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it is that people can only meet you as deeply as you meet yourself Which brings
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me on to the most important part of today's episode.
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And this is how to love yourself in your love language. So whether you are in
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a relationship or whether you're single or currently seeking your soulmate or
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maybe you've had a breakup, this is the shift because self-love isn't just I
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love myself, I'm amazing.
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It's how do I actually feel loved by me?
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And let's go through each one. So if your language, your love language,
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hopefully you've worked it out by now.
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If not, then rewind me and figure out which love language you are.
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If your love language is words of affirmation then
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you can love yourself by speaking kindly to yourself
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even if that's out loud we have a tendency as
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humans to pick ourselves apart maybe the way that
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we look or the way that we act or maybe if we messed up in a meeting today or
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we said something or text someone and we went oh my god why did I say that start
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speaking to yourself kindly start using those words of affirmation to show yourself
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love you can leave yourself notes around the house,
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pop up post-it notes saying you're amazing, you did something great today.
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Maybe create voice notes hyping yourself up.
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Be your kind of like ultimate cheerleader and say morning Holly,
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just to let you know I think you're amazing, you're doing incredibly well today
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and just kind of celebrating yourself and catch that negative self-talk and shift it.
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So instead of saying I'm not good enough try I am learning I am growing I am
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doing better than I think.
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If your love language is acts of service, then you can show yourself love using acts of service.
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So that could be preparing your future self's meals.
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So maybe creating some really nice, healthy, nourishing meals for your week.
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It could be putting your trainers and your gym kit out the night before so that
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it's easier for you to when you get up in the morning.
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It could be booking appointments that you've been avoiding.
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So maybe you need to see the dentist or you need a hair appointment or booking
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your car room for an MOT, booking appointments you've been avoiding,
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maybe sorting out your receipts and filing them ready for the tax man.
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Anything that you can do that makes your life easier. And this is the self-love
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here that is basically saying, I've got you.
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Sometimes we put these things off, but when we actually do them,
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we're showing ourselves self-love.
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If your language is receiving gifts, it doesn't mean that you just go out and
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spend all your money and buy all the amazing things that you've ever wanted.
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It's buying yourself meaningful things and not just impulse buys.
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So take yourself out. Perhaps if you've seen something, you can save up for
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it. Buy yourself a meaningful gift, even if it's small.
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You know, a piece of stationery, a nice journal, a bunch of flowers.
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Create your wins with something small. Celebrate your wins, I should say with something small.
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Romanticize giving to yourself. It's about showing yourself you are worth the effort.
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Now, if your love language is quality time, spend intentional time alone.
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Take yourself on solo dates. Take yourself to the coffee shop.
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Take yourself for lunch.
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Plan solo dates. Take yourself to visit a gallery or somewhere new,
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an area or a town that you've not been before.
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Sit by yourself without distraction. No phones, no podcast, maybe just a book or maybe not even a book.
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It's sitting with yourself and have quality time alone and letting your thoughts
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come to mind and letting yourself work through those thoughts.
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And just actually be with yourself. No scrolling, no distractions,
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just connecting with you.
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If your love language is physical touch, you can hug yourself.
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Yes, it's really, really a thing, but it could be stretching and moving with
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yoga. It's kind of being in tune and these physical touches with yourself.
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It's taking your time over skincare and body rituals, covering yourself and
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massaging yourself with moisturizer or body oils and just taking your time as
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you touch your skin with your skincare.
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Maybe it's, like I said, yoga or stretching is a great one.
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It could also be you can pop a tennis ball on the floor and you can lay on your
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back and roll it in the base of your back.
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And there is something very soothing. And if you are a physical touch person,
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this will hit a spot in a different way.
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Movement like yoga or stretching also does the same.
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It's about feeling safe in your own body.
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So the biggest thing is is that when you
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start loving yourself in your own language you will
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stop settling you will stop chasing and
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over explaining your worth because you may
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feel like that if you think about yourself in a past relationship or your current
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relationship when you're constantly over explaining your worth I've done this
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this and this today why can't you tell me or show me that you appreciate me
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I'm feeling I'm running a house I'm doing the kids I'm doing the washing, I'm going to work.
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Why do I feel underappreciated?
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It means that you stop over explaining your worth because you already feel it.
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One, you're hopefully loving yourself in those own love languages.
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But also two, you are speaking up in your current relationship because you're
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actually saying, I've realized what it is that I need.
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And actually I've realized that you probably love me and you're showing me in a different way.
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So once you realize that, you can stop over explaining
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you can kind of say do you know what they do love me
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they're showing me by doing booking
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some appointments for me or taking me for
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dinner or spending quality time with me even though
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I want to hear it but also by telling them and
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communicating look I really like to hear it I really
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like words of affirmation I'd love for you to tell me more and
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maybe you can if you are in a relationship maybe you can make a pact that once
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you have figured out each other's love languages and can I also just say that's
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a really fun task in itself spend time together and figure out what each other's
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love languages are and maybe make a pact with each other that once a week at least,
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that you, or maybe once a day, but whatever you can manage at first,
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maybe once a week, you make an effort to show someone love in their love language,
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even if it's not your own.
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And when you feel worthy and you feel like you are loving yourself in that own
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love language, from that place, you'll naturally attract better relationships.
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So you will improve your current relationship as well.
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You will naturally attract a,
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better opportunities and better standards. So can you see by just from this
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simple act of the five love languages, using it in your current relationships,
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but also using it as an act of self-love,
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you will already start manifesting more opportunities and events and better standards,
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not just in relationships, because your energy shifts from please love me to I already am loved.
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And that is what becomes magnetic.
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That is what makes you magnetic and that is what makes you magnetic to your manifestations.
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So here's a little challenge after this episode. I want you to ask yourself
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what is my love language and how can I give that to myself today?
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Start small, make it real, make it consistent because the relationship you build
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with yourself will set the standard for every single thing that you manifest into your life.
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And that's why I always talk to you guys about looking after yourself,
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making yourself happier and living more contently and a more peaceful life that
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will raise your vibrations onto a frequency that naturally aligns with the things
27:15
that you want to manifest.
27:16
So this is way more than just feeling loved. But don't we all want to feel loved anyway?
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But this is way more than that. It's feeling loved, it's raising your vibrations
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and then it's attracting more amazing things into your life.
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So that is pretty much it for today, guys. I really hope you've enjoyed today's episode.
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I love talking about the five love languages. Honestly, if you know what yours
27:40
is, please do tell me and slide into my DMs.
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I'm on Instagram at thehollyedwards and at the.manifestationstation.
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I just love hearing how people have revelations about the love languages.
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But also, please remember, this isn't just about relationships. this
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is more about loving yourself and connecting with yourself
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and bringing those emotions to the forefront of
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that you are loved you are loved by yourself and that
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will naturally attract you to be loved by other people so that is the end of
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it today if you've enjoyed this episode please send it to someone who may need
28:16
a little bit of love maybe they're struggling with love self-love or maybe they're
28:20
having a breakup or going through a tricky time in their relationship this is the episode for them.
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So please send it to them. If you have a moment, please subscribe,
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rate and review the podcast because it really does me a huge favor.
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That would be a way to show me love and I would feel so, so grateful.
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So I will leave it there and I will see you later this week for another episode
28:44
of The Manifestation Station. Goodbye.