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Key Behaviors on Your Goals – Measuring Them · The Missing Secret Podcast

• 0:00
  Kelly Hatfield: Welcome to The Missing Secret Podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield,
• 0:04
  John Mitchell: Hey, and I'm John Mitchell. So our topic today is measuring your key behaviors on your goals. Now, Kelly, what do you think about that? Do you think that's important? I think
• 0:16
  Kelly Hatfield: it is extremely important. I'm so excited that we're talking about this today, because it's it really is that important.
• 0:22
  John Mitchell: So I guess to sort of sort of set the stage for this with our methodology, as as you know, you're living your life quarter by quarter, and so you're setting up a new goal for your health, a new goal for your romantic relationship, a new goal for your career. So you define what the goal is, the why behind it, and then the two or three or four key behaviors associated with each goal, and then the measurement of the goal, as well as the time frame. Of course, the time frame is always sort of the end of the quarter, but that's the goal setting system that was really developed by, you know I'm talking about, I now forget his name, big thought leader. You know who I'm talking about. Oh, Brian. Tracy. Brian Tracy, that's right, right. So I incorporated his method into our system. But one of the key things is measuring your key behaviors. And so one thing I want our audience to do is make sure that you have the Tibi app, because measuring your key behaviors every Monday, Sunday morning really is the primary purpose of the Tibi app. And so you can get it just go to the Apple or Google App Store, and can think it'd be it. But as an example, in the app, it gives you the ability to measure seven different key behaviors over your three goals. And so, like I'll give you an example how I do it on on mine, like one of the things I do is I write my relationship with ginger every week, scale of one to 10. How was it I want to have a nine every week. I also measure how many times I exercise for the week. I'm my goal is, is to exercise six days a week. But as an example of those two, I'll get on the IB app. I will record my numbers for the current week, and after I record the numbers, then sort of the second step is to then look at my performance for the prior week. I look at the goal, I look at what my number for this week was, and I might look at what my numbers the prior weeks were, and it's just such an efficient way to do it, because I once I look at that goal and what the most recent week's numbers are, I'm like, Am I doing good or do I need to improve? And now go down the next one, and then at the end of it, I'll go, okay, great. There's two things I need to improve on this week, and all of that is accomplished in less than probably three minutes. And so, but I'm curious, how do you how do you measure your key behavior?
• 3:17
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, so I will use an app, and I've tried a few different types of apps, but I use an app through growth day that I use where I can track my key behaviors. And so I'm doing that, you know? And then also, too, I am huge on like the fit, you know, fitness. I love fitness, working out all of that. So I'm always paying attention to my sleep, nutrition, and so, right? Tracking all of that inside my app. So either, whether it's my fitness pal or Fitbit, is tracking all that data. So I'm paying attention to sleep. Seven hours a night is one of my goals, right? So I am checking it right there. What's that you drive there? I track that, yeah, because it is that instrumental to setting myself up for my brain operating the way that I want it to operate, decision making, clarity, all of those things for me, and then just hormone regulation, all of that for me. It starts with sleep and good night's rest, and so that's one of the things that I measure every week, is how many nights I slept over seven hours. And then
• 4:23
  John Mitchell: Are you measuring how long you're in bed, or how much sleep you got? Sleep, how much sleep? What do you have? A or A ring? Is that? How you do?
• 4:31
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, I have a Fitbit watch that I want. Yeah, that tracks that all for me so, and it's not 100% accurate, but you've worn it for as long as I've worn it. It gives you it's the data is pretty consistent. You know me, because I wear it snow free. I wear it all the time, and so I'm paying attention to that. And then I'm looking at, okay, yep, I stayed up that extra hour watching that thing that I didn't brings no value to my life whatsoever, right? I felt it the next day. Like I need to. So it helps me adjust. You know, my behaviors based on that. Also to, you know, the old saying you can't improve, you know what you don't measure. There's that I'm also really competitive, you know? So with myself, you know, where I'm like, all you know I can do better than that, or like for me, sleep, nutrition, exercise, you know, all of these things send a message that, like you are valuing yourself. Yeah, you're investing in yourself. And so I really work hard not to let myself down. And I know that because I measure, you know, stuff, just like I measure my money and I measure my you know. So anyway, I believe wholeheartedly in how important it is to measure these key behaviors, you know, that set you up for success.
• 5:52
  John Mitchell: Boy, as you're talking about, I realized how deep this is is beyond just just measuring, it's affirming who you are. If you're improving, if that's who you are as a person, then measuring is critical. Measuring shows you where you need to improve, but it's a whole big thing in your life, once you measure your performance, right?
• 6:18
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, absolutely. And I think because it too when you're as plugged in, when you use this methodology and you're measuring, you know you're you've got all this clarity, you're clear about where you're going, you're measuring your those key behaviors that are going to help you get to where you're going. And you start to see this momentum. It almost, and I don't know whether this is healthy or unhealthy, but it almost becomes like a addiction is too strong of a word. It's got too much of the negative connotation. But, like, I know, if I do these things, then this is the outcome. Okay, well, what if I did more of that? Would that improve my outcome? I'm gonna do some testing and be a little scientist. My hypothesis is right, right? Then this will and you, you know, you start to get more and more nuanced when you're measuring, you know those key behaviors, you can really start drilling down and optimizing
• 7:10
  John Mitchell: Right. Well, And you know, the beauty of it is, if you do your key behaviors, you're going to achieve your goals. Now you can't, you can't control achieving your goals, but you can control doing the key behaviors, and that's why I think it's so freeing when you get clarity and you are you're intelligently looking at, okay, here's the goal, here's the three or four key behaviors. I'm just going to focus on doing those three or four key behaviors, and I'm, by God, going to measure myself every week, and we want to achieve the goal by the end of the quarter. Man, that's all you got to do. Just do the key behaviors. The goal will take care of itself. Yep.
• 7:51
  Kelly Hatfield: And I love this. We do a version of this within the business and then which is the same, like they have key, you know, behaviors or metrics that they're looking at where we know, if you make X amount of calls, you know, if you make 30 calls a day, you know, or in this particular area, candidate calls or whatever, then we know you're going to be able to build a five, you know, have a desk that's billing $500,000 a year at a minimum. Sorry, do this and you do this consistently, this is going to be the outcome, right? Well, you know, it's the same, you know, kind of thing where they're checking off and being like, Oh, I was short this week. Or I'm, you know, I've been consistently over my outcome should be so, you know, point being, you can take this and look at the key behaviors within your role and be like, okay, you know, it's this in each area of your life, you can do this, we're talking about the three key, you know, areas with, you know, relationships and health and and career, but, you know, or business or whatever. But yeah,
• 8:49
  John Mitchell: Right. Are you? Are you a fan of Peter Attia?
• 8:53
  Kelly Hatfield: We've talked about him before. I've watched some short clips of him, but I haven't sat down and consumed any of his content at length, like a full length podcast or anything. But I've seen snippets on like YouTube and words of him, and, you know, seems like he knows, you know, he knows what he's talking about.
• 9:10
  John Mitchell: Well, I think he's based here in Austin, and him, and I would say Andrew Huberman. Huberman, yep. Huberman, yeah, are probably the two brightest people I know of regarding health. And one of the things that he was talking about, I just this is amazing. I just watched a video where we got on and he's talking about that the number one factor in longevity is VO two Max, which is, is essentially your your cardio fitness, and the number two factor is strength and and those two factors outweigh everything else. And so I have known this for a while, and cardio is one of my strengths. And they say that if you're in the 75 Percentile or better, meaning you're better than 75% of people your age, that you are prone for a long life. And so I one things I affirm in my visualization is that I measure that every year. So I just went and measured it, and I was in the 93 percentile, which is great to to know as as a foundation for my health, but I also see that I need to, like, improve on my strengths. So I'm doing more things and putting more things in my visualization to up my strength. But that's the type of thing you if you're always growing, and you're learning stuff, then it shows up in what you put in your visualization, which then shows up in what you're measuring. And so it all sort of fits together.
• 10:51
  Kelly Hatfield: It does when you have clarity around so for me, and, you know, for most people, but I know this for myself personally, is that health is my number one priority, because that isn't going well. Nothing else in my life is going well. It makes everything harder. You know, everything suffers, if my health isn't, you know, dialed in and was, I have a ton of clarity around what my goals are and what like. So, for example, I'm taking in stuff from Peter Attia, and from, you know, Huberman and right, all of these experts, and being like, Okay, well, what are those little, you know, once the, what's that next little habit that I can implement that and where I can optimize, you know, my health, right? And then I'll plug that in, you know, to my visualization, because it's a behavior I need to change. And then that I'll track, you know, until I it no longer needs to be tracking, because it's like brushing my teeth, I don't track all right, my teeth every day because I don't need right? You know, it's automatic, right? So that's the beauty of this too, is that reticular activating system? Then we'll start pulling those things into you that are important, that are going to enhance and optimize your you know, whatever that thing is. And for me, you know, health is one of those things, and then, you know, you're able to use the methodology then to hardwire that new behavior in to create that new outcome. So it's just the coolest. I love it, right,
• 12:13
  John Mitchell: Right? I tell you, I listened to a podcast with Ed mylett the other day. He was talking about the subconscious mind and how the subconscious mind responds to deadlines. And interestingly, I was talking to a guest that came and spent a week with is one of my stepsons friends, and he's like 39 I think, and he's trying to figure out his life. And I and I just listened to this podcast from Ed MILLETTE the day before, and I was telling him, what you ought to do is figure out your life. I mean, take up this habit of deep thinking two times a week and figure out your life. What do you what do you really want to do in your life now, he's a musician and he'd like to be a rock star. Well, great. Probably need a more practical I mean, I support going for your dream, but you got to pay the bills, and I think that that is can be a high in the sky dream that ends up screwing up your life, if it's so unrealistic that it's not even achievable, which is basically true. But I was telling him, so learn this skill of deep thinking two times a week, and start figuring out your life. What do you want to do? Which What are you good at? So what makes sense? And he says, I don't know. I'm thinking about creating an invention, bad idea that's that's not going to work, because it's way better to find something that's the market's already accepted and go do that business. If you if, if you're going to be an entrepreneur, go do that. This idea that I'm going to come up with some magic new thing is a lousy idea, because the market is basically today is changing so quick. What's a good idea today is a bad idea tomorrow. So unless the next Apple phone idea comes to you, I would not pursue that as as your future, but back to the point of figuring out his life, I said, start thinking two times a week and build on what you're thinking and then apply this idea that I want a plan by a set date, tell your subconscious mind I need it by this day. And I think there's a lot of power around this. Ed Ladd says that when you do that, it forces your brain to not just sing about stuff, but actually figure it out. Yeah, and you're giving that brain a deadline. What do you think about all that?
• 15:05
  Kelly Hatfield: No, I love that, and I think that I didn't watch that episode, but I myself know that I work really well, you know, under deadlines for sure, you know. And so you know, I'm not quite sure you know why that is, but if I know that, you know, I got a June 1, you know, deadline for a launch or for a whatever implementation of something. Then I am somebody, then who, like, I will reverse engineer it, right? I know what action steps I need to be taking to hit that date by and I might back, like, I might have a ton of momentum as I get toward the that actual date, and have a slower start while I'm still thinking things through and kind of processing in which way, and then when I get into that action taking mode. So anyway, I completely believe in having a deadline. I think that there's just something, you know, subconsciously, that happens when you say, this is the day I'm going to start, and then there is even more power than in sharing that date with other people,
• 16:05
  John Mitchell: Right, right? Well, one, maybe final topic you'd find interesting. So I met with the athletic director at the University of Texas on Friday. I'm going to go to the head coaches two day retreat that is held somewhere outside of Austin. And so we get into this discussion, and he goes, he says, I don't have subconscious thoughts. I'm like, Prince, that is bullshit. I said, What? What do you mean? Don't have conscious thoughts? I mean, it's documented that you have such science, yeah, right. And so we get in, we had a 30 minute discussion on this, and I see that he, he will operate differently than than I do. Like I said, Well, when you're when you're giving a speech, don't you have the effect that that you practice it on day one, and then you sleep on it. And then day two, you you discover that there's new stuff, and those are obviously subconscious thoughts that have changed it. He goes, No, when I got to give a speech, I just go over basically what I want to talk about that day and and give it. And I'm like, wow, okay, that's that works for him, but, and I told him, I said, Now, Chris, we're going to have this discussion again, and I'm going to prove to you that you have a subconscious mind and and I'm thinking about how, exactly how to do that. How would you, how would you approach that?
• 17:39
  Kelly Hatfield: Well, I would start at the baseline, which is, are you thinking about how you're about inflating your lungs right now and deflating your lungs right part? Because if they're not actually thinking about that consciously right now, then that is happening unconsciously. So like every thing that your body is doing, you know the fact that you're listening and you're behind the scenes unconsciously, you are interpreting what I'm based on how, like all of that is happening at a subconscious level. It's not necessarily happening at a conscious level. It can't your brain could not do everything that I just mentioned. It's doing unconsciously, which is running your body and, oh, go ahead. What were you going to say?
• 18:24
  John Mitchell: Well, let's, let's think about that. Because I'm thinking about what his response will be, which is, well, tell me something beyond my bodily functions, that's that's going on unconsciously. What would you say to that?
• 18:38
  Kelly Hatfield: What about the Does he ever you know, one of my questions immediately would be that three o'clock, you know those you know when you if you wake up at three o'clock in the morning, and there are thoughts that are happening. Or, you know what I mean that, as in that waking hour, that kind of Twilight, where you're first beginning to wake up, and, you know, maybe you're processing events of the day before, or your brain has gone to work on kind of planning what's happening that day, and like, that's all happening unconsciously. So that would be like, so if you're waking up and you're thinking about that, where you're half asleep, half awake, and that that is definitely operating in an at more of an unconscious level, versus versus a conscious, you know thought?
• 19:20
  John Mitchell: Well, I think his belief is, is that if it's not a conscious thought, it doesn't exist. And and I see his point, if I'm if I'm not conscious of the thought that it doesn't exist. And you can easily go to Google and ask them about what percentage of your daily thoughts are unconscious, and they'll tell you it's 95%. But logically, I'm gonna have to think about this. There's an answer to it, and I see that at least how I operate. I see it all the time, how unconscious thoughts are happening. Um, and I'm influencing them by by what I'm reading each day, and then that manifests itself later in the day. But I don't know this was, this is a good one to pod ponder.
• 20:11
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, absolutely. I'll keep thinking about it. Maybe we can pick up on this. Um, too. Please. Let me try to think of some other, you know, potential examples of what that you know, of what, how that would show up, and other thought that I had would be in any of those biases that you have, like, some of the stuff that's happening, like, when you walk into a room and you're interpreting intuitively, like you can, like, through body language, through the stuff that your brain is interpreting through body language, through, like, all of that's happening at a at a subconscious level. You know what I mean? Like,
• 20:42
  John Mitchell: That's, that's a very good point.
• 20:45
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, the observations you're making, you're, you may not be, but you're, you know what I mean? I can't, I'm not describing it very well, but I think you get where I'm going with this.
• 20:53
  John Mitchell: Oh, I absolutely. I mean, if you're giving a speech, and you're in the middle of giving the speech, and you see people yawning or looking around. You're not having necessarily a conscious thought of, oh, they're they're not that interested. But it's, it's, you're catching it at a subconscious level, and and you're processing it at a subconscious level, and it'll, no doubt affect how that speech comes out.
• 21:25
  Kelly Hatfield: Exactly, yeah, exactly, right. So, and that's the things that I think of like when you're interpreting something, you know, but you're not verbalizing it, but it impacts, you know. So a speech, giving a speech, is a perfect example of that.
• 21:40
  John Mitchell: Of course, he would say, well, nobody yawns at my speech.
• 21:47
  Kelly Hatfield: I don't know. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for this conversation,
• 21:51
  John Mitchell: Right? Well, we know it, so exactly appreciate that. Okay, well, something to ponder until next time. So we'll see you.