Latest / Son of a Boy Dad / College Roommates | Son of a Boy Dad #174

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College Roommates | Son of a Boy Dad #174 · Son of a Boy Dad

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey Son of a Boy Dad listeners. You can find
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: can listen ad free on Amazon Music.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: May what's going on there? Pal?
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• 3:34
  Speaker 1: So all when I got out of the cab, was
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: a homeless guy walking down the street with a carton
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: like slicing half carton of eggs with six eggs sitting
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: in it. And he's just like screaming into the ether
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: at nobody. Nobody gonna respect you with days, right.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: I guess he makes a good point.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: I guess he was getting but I was respecting him. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: he had like six like unheld eggs. I don't want
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: to bother him. He's seemed focused on the task.
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  Speaker 9: Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: I also probably would have thrown off his entire game plan,
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: like I respect you with eggs.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: That that completely ruins the narrative.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: If he wants respect, why is he holding the eggs?
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: If he believes that, I think it's uh, he's like preaching.
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: There's a much deeper meaning there that you're not seeing.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: It's threatening a little bit.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: It was like.
• 4:24
  Speaker 4: Nobody's gonna respect you with eggs? Right, where do you
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: even get the idea to do that or say that?
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  Speaker 2: And it was like our drugs. I don't know.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: He seemed loocid enough that he was like right, like, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: he wanted everybody's agreement. But it was like like twelve
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: pack cut in half with the top cut off and
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: just six perfectly untouched eggs. So it's like he was
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: gentle enough to carry the eggs without shattering the eggs.
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: It's like when they when you give like a bait
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  Speaker 4: dog an egg.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, their maternal instincts kick agg Yeah. So he was
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: senile and off drugs with the most abrasive voice ever,
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: but he had some gen maternal instincts in it. Yeah,
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: warm and charming.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah. How was How was the flight back from Milwaukee? Long? No,
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: but longer than the drive from Philly.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Not really about the same two hours.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: But you gotta go through t.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: S A on the way back.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: You got to get there an hour early. You got
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: to go through.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: Milwaukee. You get there when you're ship's boarding. Milwaukee has
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: no lines.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: Milwaukee's just honor system code.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's three nine eleven. You're just kind of
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  Speaker 1: ushered to your gates, ocular pat down, to bring your
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: gun whatever.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're twenty one, right, you're not gone.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Hey, can you watch my kid?
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: Would you take my daughter into the women's I'm a
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: man in Milwaukee.
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: You're fully allowed to let people look after your luggage.
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, at other airports. That is extremely frowned upon.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: It.
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  Speaker 1: It does.
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  Speaker 2: It does puzzle me that you know you're not. It's
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: such a it's such a thing that you're not supposed
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: to let people look after your luggage. If you go
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: into the Delta lounge or any of those lounges, you
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: can leave your bags, yeah, with a fucking ticking alarm
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: clock inside, and people will be like, well, he's in
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: the lounge there, Well he has an AX plan. Clearly,
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: it's not.
• 6:17
  Speaker 4: They're not just handing those out to anybody.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: You can leave a stack of gold bars, yeah, or
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: just like a thousand gold coins and no one would
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: take one of them. That's the most ethical place on earth.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: I think the Delta alone.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: I guess. But if I were going to blow up
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: a plane, I would definitely hit the lounge first. That
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: would be like the appetizer, Yeah, why not? Yeah, my
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: last meal for is gonna. I want it to be,
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: you know, the fucking buffet at the Delta Lounge, not
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: uh some sibarro or something in the food court. Yeah.
• 6:54
  Speaker 4: Really I feel like that. I feel like the restaurants
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  Speaker 4: at the airport. There's got to be a restaurant that
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: has significantly better food food than the lounge.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: It's just that it's Yeah, but that palm is bad bad, Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: bad palma peas fuck.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: That's that fucking sucks.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: I know. That's so disappointed. There's a good a, there's
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: a good h the burger place. Uh, Chakeshack, Shakeshack at
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: at Shakeshack.
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: Last night, diarrhea, Like before did I found it out?
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  Speaker 4: I can't eat fried food. I can't eat fried food
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  Speaker 4: and especially fried chicken.
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  Speaker 2: Really, that's my.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: That is all they serve at comedy clubs.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: Yes, that is my kryptonite by a lot. When did
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  Speaker 2: you find that out? How did you find that out?
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  Speaker 4: So I have been I used to get Chick fil
• 7:43
  Speaker 4: A all the time, like right towards the end, right
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  Speaker 4: before people were moving to Chicago, I was eating Chick
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  Speaker 4: fil A Like I would see brand and get it
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  Speaker 4: and then I would get it.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: Because I was like chick fil A is great.
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  Speaker 4: And then randomly I started getting like insanely bad stomach
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  Speaker 4: aches from Chick fil A sandwiches. And then and the
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: first one that happened was I was in I was
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  Speaker 4: in Vegas and I was at the I was at
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  Speaker 4: whatever the fucking hotel is called, and they had a
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  Speaker 4: Chick fil A and it was open un till two
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  Speaker 4: in the morning, so like late at night, I would
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  Speaker 4: go and get Chick fil A, and there I got
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  Speaker 4: the worst stomach ache ever. And everyone was like, oh,
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: the Chick fil A here's bad. I got a stomach
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: ache too, and I was like, I can't I can't
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: imagine that your guy's stomache is as bad as mine
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: is right now.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: And they're all coming off the same They're all on
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: hard drugs of Chick fil A's too, though, like all
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: the chicken breasts are coming from It's not like those
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  Speaker 1: are the bad ones.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
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  Speaker 4: And uh so then I was like, all right, I
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: want to take a little break from Chick fil A.
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: And then I got it again, same thing, lightning strikes twice,
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  Speaker 4: explosive diarrhea, and then I and then I waited longer,
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: and then I got it again. And then the last
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: time I got it, I was like, all right, I
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: get real war four times yeah, because I was like, dude,
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: because I ate it so many times. And I was like,
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: how come I never got a stomach ache then? And
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: now all of a sudden, I'm getting these crazy stomach aches.
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: And then I was like, all right, I guess I'm
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: done with Chick fil A. I haven't had Chick fil
• 8:58
  Speaker 4: A in months. And then yes to day, I was like,
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: I really want a chicken sandwich.
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  Speaker 2: So I got I got.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: The definition of insanity.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: So I tried again. No, so I got shake shack.
• 9:09
  Speaker 4: Surely a mutated and and the and they didn't bring
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: me the sandwich. They brought me chicken bites, and Dude,
• 9:17
  Speaker 4: while I was eating them, my stomach just started churning
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: like and then I sat on the toilet for an hour.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: It shoves your microbiome.
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: I ship consistently for one hour straight.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: Do you know what the cure for this is? Stop
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: eating chicken? Well that, but also you could try fecal
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: transplant therapy.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: Someone needs some ship in your ass.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: It's not a bad idea. I won't have to give
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: that a go. You could do it that way. Or
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: you can go down the you think.
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: I'll have Chick fil A pay for that as every investment,
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: I'll come back.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: I'll eat your shitty sand for one of your very
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: kind employees. Sh yes, my pleasure.
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, a Chick fil a virgin.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: One who has yet to try the chicken.
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: But yeah, so I figured it out, which I'm happy about.
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: I'm happy that I figured that out.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: You're just gonna not have fried chicken anywhere.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: I just can't. I can't. I actually think that's pretty good. Yeah,
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: that's probably pretty good for you.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: You're gonna have to have just like a baked, unseasoned
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: chicken breast from now on, or just all.
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: I could have seasoned chicken just has to be grilled
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: and not covered in oil.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: And you know it's an underrated genre of chicken is blackened. Yeah,
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: any meat black and black and fish black and chicken?
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: What the fuck is that?
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: What are they doing with that? How do they black
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: and chicken?
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: Spices? It is? Yeah, it's it sounds like it's like
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: cooked faster, harder, But no, I think it's the spice
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: rub that they use. I know that like black and
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: grouper is really good from Florida. Yes, and black and
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: yeah fish, that's yeah, yeah, I've heard that as well.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's blackened. And you see, none of us made
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: a race droke.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: No, I was waiting, no need to, no need to.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: Sometimes it's bes to stay away.
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just good for fish about something as serious
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: as blackened fish.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: I remember when I first came to New York, I
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: wasn't like and started working at bar, so I wasn't
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: really like eating lunch like that. But then there's like
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: lunch culture. You're in office like people, everybody's getting lunch.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: It's like a big part of the day, and I'll
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: try to get shake shack lunch and it just did
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: such violent things to me right away. It made me
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: feel so sleepy and bad for the rest of my day.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: I don't know how people are currently doing it, and
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: I don't know how in like the mad Men era,
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: they would go out and have like a seven course
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: lunch without half a tumbler of whiskey, Like what's the
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: afternoon heaven store?
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: Dude. It's truly a day ruiner, Like my whole day was.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: Do you know what it was? I get? I would
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: guess that the cigarettes were helping keep them awake. How
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: much they smoked.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: Back then, maybe their appetite or something like that.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: Doesn't Don't cigarettes help you stay awake, isn't there? The
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: nicotine kind is an upper I don't know. I don't know.
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: I don't believe so stimulant it could be, but I
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: I mean, I use nicotine, I don't I don't feel
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: that it makes me stay awake.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: There you go, interesting proven. Yeah, here's a challenge that
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: I had as an idea in the vein of the
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: Jerry after dark hole in one. Let's say that on
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: a day where they've got the fresh shipment from Sam's
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: Club or Costco or whatever they do, of all the
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: snacks in the snack closet, and you go in there
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: and you lock the door, and you put your phone
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: on the rack and you live stream and say, I
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: cannot leave this snack closet until I've eaten every single
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: thing in here. How long do you think that would take?
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: Every single thing, like every single option or like.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: Not the bags of tea obviously, but every caloric, all
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: the pirates, booty, the nutri green bar out clean it.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: You have to. You can't leave until you've eaten every
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: single thing in there.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: I think a month really not a month, maybe a week.
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: I would say three days, three days, didn't.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: Jerry Jerry after Dark where it was like sixty thousand
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: calories or something, or how many calories? Was it sixty ten?
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: Only ten ten is like a one box of that shit.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: It's more than three days, for sure?
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: You think, yeah, absolutely, And this is solo. Yeah, alone,
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: But I thought we were thinking us.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: Three and we have one ratitude on top of.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: Me with the three of us. I started thinking about
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: this challenge alone, and it was it was giving me anxiety.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: It was like, I know that would be good content,
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: but I also would hate it so fucking much.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: There has to be good content that you can make
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: that's not personally torturous.
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's proving on and on that there isn't
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: because everything that is succeeding right now is torturous.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: Jerry after Dark where he paper cuts his penis until
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: he castrates himself.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: And like Tiger Woods would be tweeting about it.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, potus is just like we drew it up, Jerry.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: Today, I'm going to fully circumcise myself with a.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: Toothbrush, grinding down your penis. Rush, Oh my god, would
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: that even could you could you even chip away at that?
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: I watched like a zoom or a sped up live
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: stream of a guy eating like a two gallon container
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: of water with chopsticks, like one water droplet at a time.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I saw that it which was pretty interesting.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: But it begs the question could you chop off your
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: penis with a toothbrush?
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: I watched that video and I said, this is making
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: me ask a much different questions.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: It begs the question. I think everybody had that on
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: their mind. I think the top uploaded comment must have
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: been like, yes, yes, but can we brush our penis
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: off with an oral b let's raise? And would an
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: electric toothbrush make it happen more quickly or less quickly?
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: I think less quickly. I think I think you would come.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: One can't help, but wonder one cannot order? If it
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: wouldn't be smarter to try to file the handle into
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: a shive and then cut the hood of your penis
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: rather than to continually brush with the bristles.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: Well, you're thinking the tip, I'm thinking the base.
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: Oh about just straight up removing your penis.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: Removing like a lumberjack taking down a redwood.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: Well, you could definitely do that due to your penis
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: what hockey fighters do with their jerseys where they take
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: it over the head of the opponents to then pummel them.
• 15:17
  Speaker 4: No, I'm talking about he's taking about just straight up
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: chopping his dick.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: Dropping my dick off at the base of it. With
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: using a toothbrush at the base of my penis. It
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: that's the file through. I didn't know. I thought that
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: that's where we all were.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: I think you did that with most things.
• 15:33
  Speaker 4: It just would hurt a lot, and you'd probably need
• 15:35
  Speaker 4: to use more pressure using some items.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: You'd want to pull it as as far out as
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: you could to make the base as thin as possible.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: You know, with all of the contraptions that were used
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: during the Vietnamese War, it's surprising that they never thought
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: of this. That the Vietnamese never thought of toothbrushing someone's
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: penis off.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: I'm sure they did.
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: I'm sure they just didn't fill not a country known
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: for the oral hygiene.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: I don't want to tell tales out of school.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: But yeah, that's sad and true about the You would
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: have thought that that with all like have you ever
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: seen like the museums that they have of like the
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: ship you would step into and like two spikes go
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: through your.
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: Use elephant ship and they would stuff it in bamboo
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: with they would take like a mud ball and they
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: would stick shards of bamboo out and then they would
• 16:23
  Speaker 4: put elephant ship in the shards because then it would
• 16:26
  Speaker 4: like it would come flying down and penetrate you, and
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: then it would put the elephant ship's poisonous, so it
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: would kill.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: You, right, And they never thought to use a sonic
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: character remove pow nas.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: No, it was actually I heard that these short devices
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: were the precursor to the Jigsaw character from Saw. Really
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: the franchise, which, by the way, I've been watching like
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: highlights of the Saw franchise. Yeah, yeah, I don't know why.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: I just went top ten. I haven't seen after like
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: Saw two or three, but saw most gruesome deaths in
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: the Greatest puzzles. Some of them are great, I mean
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: they really are. They're so fun it you know.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: It's creative.
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there was the other what are some of them?
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: I don't I've only watched Saw one.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: I watched one from Saw six yesterday where a guy
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: I guess he's got I don't know because I don't
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: know the plot. But I guess he has some kind
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: of uh.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: I bet we could feel you one on the plot.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: Algorithm for way the why certain people deserve care or
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: to live or something, so that he gets captured and
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: placed in this thing where it's he's pitted against the
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: janitor of his building who's a smoker even though he
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: has high blood pressure. And if you breathe in these
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: clamps converge on your rib cage and it's between the
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: two of them. Whoever can hold their breath basically or
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: breathe the least uh survives while the other person's internal
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: organs get crushed.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: Holy fun.
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: And he tells them he's trying to help him. He goes,
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: don't breathe, hold your breath, and the guy's too fat
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: and smoking so he can't and it just keeps coming in.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: I would like slide a birthday cake over to the dude,
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: make them laugh. Yeah, yeah, why are you trying to?
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's an obvious w for you. You're going
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: against the fat smoker.
• 18:13
  Speaker 4: Sounds like a truth social fucking anti smoking ad.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: Truth social needs smokers.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if everybody stopped.
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: Smoking, something came out that it was like they're backed
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: by big tobacco.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: If everyone stopped smoking, truth Social would go out of business. Yeah,
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: like their big corporation would cease to exist because they
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: would have beaten the problem.
• 18:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, there was some whole weird thing that came out
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: that it was like they're a they're backed by big tobacco,
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: and they try and make the ads like annoying, as
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: annoying as possible and like bad as possible that say,
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: like people will start smoking.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, wasn't the major anti smoking advocacy group called truth though.
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah, as we're because we're talking about right now.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: But truth Social is the oh that's the social. I
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: don't know if it's actually called.
• 19:04
  Speaker 9: Truth Trump's Twitter, Yes, yes, but the thing we're talking
• 19:09
  Speaker 9: about is called that's a spot.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: It's orange. Okay, Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, we.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: Would have gotten lampooned by the truth fellas. I see,
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: I haven't been on truth Social.
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: Little dude. I'm getting lampooned right now.
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: We're talking about guns last episode, and we talked about
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: guns for maybe twenty five seconds.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: What did you say? I got people.
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: Texting me being like it's Smith and Wesson, fucking say Weston. Yeah,
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: Like I tell I guess there was I guess there
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: was a there was a little bit of a.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: Tea in there.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: Smith and Weston is one of those few non Jewish
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: lawyer groups down in Texasured people are fury roll over
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: your leg.
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: Guns is one of the few things that you're talking about.
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: You cannot get anything wrong, even if you fully are admit, like,
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: I'm not a big gun guy. I've shot guns twice ever,
• 19:59
  Speaker 4: But somehow they will expect you to get everything right.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what, listen, I'll say it, Hey, gun guys,
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: I want to be a gun guy. Yeah, all right,
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: you guys need to be a little more welcoming, open
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: your hearts a little bit, teach us so that we can,
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: you know, get excited too.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: You want to be a gun guy?
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: I love guns?
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: What kinds do you mind? That's going to go on
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: for a while?
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: Wow, everything, chick.
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: That's just I don't even know what. It's caused by.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: Allergies or maybe it's this dusty ass room that we
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: smoked cigars in.
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: No, I don't think so it's random. It's very random.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: I've been getting some random sneeze too. Maybe it's going around.
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: But so you want to get into the gun game.
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: A little bit. I think collecting them would be cool.
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: Like what kinds though, like the ones we you weren't there.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: It was me and mook uh rifles that you can
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: duck hunting rifles. It's not like an AR. No, probably not.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: I think that's I just don't. I don't expec to
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: have to need one of those. Good luck becoming a
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: gun guy. Brother, What do you start with an AR? Oh? Yeah, no,
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: you do. At least one.
• 21:09
  Speaker 4: You want at least three. You want three of those
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: in your house at all times. If you're gonna be
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: a gun yuy, you can't be. You can't be talking
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: ship on the arm, not talking any ship. I have
• 21:17
  Speaker 4: all the respect in the world for the AR. I
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: just think that me personally, I want to have a
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: gun that I can wear a tweed overcoat and one
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: of those newsboy caps with where it wouldn't look weird,
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: like the gun matches the cap, this tweet coat and
• 21:34
  Speaker 4: the waistcoat, and I can pull a gold watch chain
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: out of my pocket. It's fourteen twenty six, the sun
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: will be a hide and soon that's when the fucking
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: you want to You want a gun that you have
• 21:48
  Speaker 4: to carry around like a little sack gunpowder with.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: No, I don't want I don't see the gun. I
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: don't want that a.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: Tiny gun.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: I want a gun where the the bronze siding along
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: the handle has etchings of different duck scenes in it.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: Oh, so you just want duck do you want to
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: kill ducks?
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: I want artwork in my gun. I want an antique,
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: classy thing where I can cock it and it's hold
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: it over my shoulder and then hold the feet of
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: a few mallards in my other hand. But to labrador
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: retriever at.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: My feet, bespoken like aesthetic, not something that's you don't
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: want to be a killing machine.
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: No, no, I don't you want something that goes in
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: like a glass case with wood, Yes, rich wood, mahogany.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I see that will go with your aesthetic
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: right now.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: And I want whiskey in a decanter, a crystal decanter
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: where nobody even knows what type of whiskey it is.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: It could be trash whiskey.
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: It could very well be, but it won't be, of course,
• 22:54
  Speaker 4: not the finest whiskey.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: I want to oil my guns?
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: Is that what?
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: People? I want to oil them. I want to break
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: them down and I want to do that same toothbrush
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: that I used to file off my penis. I want
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: to use that to clean the bolts and pieces and
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: then reassemble it. I want to know how to do it.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: I think this is doable, but just not in New York.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: Could you what about upstate New York?
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: Can you? Again? Yeah?
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: For sure he has to be so it's just the
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: city proper of New York that you can have there.
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: Now there's still really strict down laws in upstate New York.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: I texted SaaS, I said, do you want to do
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: some shooting this weekend? And he didn't respond.
• 23:28
  Speaker 4: Kill it was late at night, you s day up
• 23:31
  Speaker 4: till three in the morning, not last night eleven thirty.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: What's your answer? Do you want to do some shooting? Sure?
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: Not if it gets it, But if it gets no
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: way of our fishing, then no, No, we're.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: Going to do the fishing. We're going to do the fishing.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: That's going to be great. But I want the guide
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: to come a long time. Did you want the guid
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: to come or now?
• 23:46
  Speaker 4: I told the guide he's already given me mixed. How
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: he's given me, He's given me mixed A pain?
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: I told the guide that my buddy wouldn't want him
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: to come because my buddy fancies himself a guide of sorts.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: And he said that his ego, I said, his ego
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: would be hurt if we if I brought an expert
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: like you along so that he couldn't teach me.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: Extremely true.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: I just didn't like what he said about Uh.
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: He said we could find browns in high waters that
• 24:17
  Speaker 4: have risen.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: Bro, where those holes are? I don't know about that.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: I don't know if you know where the brown holes?
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: Do you know where the brown holes are?
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: I'm going to go fishing tomorrow and I'll report back.
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: I'm going to go up to Connecticut and do a
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: little run, a little test.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: Are you actually now.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: We're going to do the who Satana worked.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: Fucking New York office wants to fish on Thursdays? Do
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: you think this is?
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: Bro?
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: You're not going up to the Housatana.
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: Did you see that the yak had that dude just
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: like come in abruptly?
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: Who's that? I saw that?
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: I saw that in the group chat that Uh yeah
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: crazy there a super excited about it.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Who apparently some dude?
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: They had some dude on the YAK A while ago
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: who like the YAK fans like ruined his entire life
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: and then he like said he was gonna kill himself
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: or some shit, and then he just like walked into
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: the YAX studio today with like a pizza and just
• 25:15
  Speaker 4: sat down.
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: Did they invite him now? And then they were like,
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: what's up, dude, how's it going? Huh?
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: Meanwhile texting like every security guard within the ten mile
• 25:26
  Speaker 4: radius being like we need back up now.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: Did somebody order a pizza? Yeah? Perfect?
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: I mean five five pizza boxes? I heard, Yeah, which
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: is I mean you could have like three ars in there?
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that whole big sauce pizza porn uh idea trope.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: The part of those that I couldn't get past was
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: that the girl would blow the guy with his dick
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: through the pizza and I always worried she can get
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: pizza grease all over her face, which would cause an
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: acne outbreak.
• 25:56
  Speaker 8: Oh.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: I always worried about the cardboard slicing your.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: Dick, yeah, or like how did they cut the hole
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: in the pizza box? Because like you need to be
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: so specific, like how do you get cutting.
• 26:07
  Speaker 4: A pizza box? Is not as easy as it looks.
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: And the sound of cardboard being sliced sends a shiver
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: up my spine. It makes my hair my hair stand.
• 26:16
  Speaker 4: Also, a pizza box is only probably what two inches thick,
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: So when you're walking, is like half of your penis
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: outside of the box.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: It's it's like bumping back.
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: Yea, yeah, like you're walking into the you're walking over
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: to the person's door, and like most of your penis
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: is outside of the box.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: You know that pizza boxes are corrugated cardboard, though, like
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: there's like three layers insulate everything. Listen to a podcast
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: on pizza boxes if you want to know.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: Also, you you're flaccid when you're walking to the house.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: I assume you have to stay hard like Jersey Jerry
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: when and when you.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: First put it in there, the pizza is hot, so
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: your droopy pizza penis is drooping over the hot cheese.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: Maybe you get a a cow zone so it feels
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: like a vagina, makes sense, of course, that's I think
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: it was designed.
• 27:08
  Speaker 4: But I always assumed there was no pizza in the box.
• 27:11
  Speaker 4: I thought that was the big surprise.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: No, there's always a pizza in the box.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: It's half strombolie, So you're you're.
• 27:17
  Speaker 4: Banking on the person to eat the pizza in front
• 27:20
  Speaker 4: of you, because what if they just what if they
• 27:23
  Speaker 4: just pick up the box and they're like, thanks for
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: showing me the pizza, and then your penis just falls
• 27:28
  Speaker 4: out of the box as they take it away.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: You need to be like, do you want to check
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: and make sure it's like when you're buying a new
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: pair of shoes and the bosom the.
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: Pizza is in the dead assuming your dick is in
• 27:39
  Speaker 4: the dead center of the pizza. Them having one slice
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: of pizza is only going to reveal like one eighth
• 27:45
  Speaker 4: of your penis a.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: Pizza, even if it's they're gonna take away a slice
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: of pizza and your penis will be completely on the
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: other side, Like that might not Yeah, all right.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: Take another one now, don't you want to? Yeah? I
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: my whole family is in there waiting to eat this pizza.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: I can't eat.
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: There's some major flaws in the script there, but it.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: Has to have happened once, like it has to be
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: based on reality.
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I'm sure there's been like some dude who
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: has been delivering pizza. I mean the dude that I
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: used to work with who delivered pizza was on vicot
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: In every day, so I'm sure he had the thought
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: here and there and be like, I'm fuck this shit,
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: I'm putting my fucking cock in this pizza.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: But his vicotin penis was probably the fucking not even
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: a full pepperoni.
• 28:27
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna cut a fucking hole and this shouldn't put
• 28:29
  Speaker 4: my dig in it. And then he gets to the
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: door and says, dude, it's.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: Like, fuck, well, you gotta suck my Dicktude, I already
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: put the hole in the box.
• 28:37
  Speaker 4: Don't worry about the hole at the bottom that was
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: there already. It's a new ventilation system.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: We're trying that way the bubble.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: Have you uh have you seen that in the hotels
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: now they're like locking the shampoo, yes, conditioner and everything
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: not just not just to the wall, but like sealed shut. Yeah,
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: so people can't like put their can't dip their cocking
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: balls in it?
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: Is that right?
• 29:02
  Speaker 4: I always assumed to it so that they could didn't
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: have to give those tiny ass bottles and people wouldn't
• 29:06
  Speaker 4: steal them.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: But that is a good theory.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: I've heard that.
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: I've heard that people don't like jumping their dick into
• 29:13
  Speaker 4: the no I've heard that.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: People don't like I didn't even think of this independently.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: I think it was from a woman I heard like, oh,
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: I don't like using the uh the like O.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: People come in there.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, people will be coming it as well in the
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: conditioner and in the shampoo or whatever. And so now
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: they're making comproof uh shampoo and conditioner.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: I think that's going to stop me. I'll find a
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: way to.
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: Come up the tube, up the spout.
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what are you get out of here? It's ridiculous.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: Like if I want my coum somewhere, I'm gonna find
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: a way to get it there. Yeah, you.
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: Reverse siphoning gas by putting it in a fucking straw
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: and blow darting it into the fucking tip of it.
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: Bro, And that honestly sounds like something that you would
• 29:55
  Speaker 4: do for sure.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: Bro, don't put smuddle my name.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: Well, that's like your that's like your whole thing.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: Like you're coming in stuff.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: Now, you're like a big prank. Sky I come and
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: to literally see.
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: You coming in a shampoo bottle just for like yourself.
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: So then just like laughing to yourself.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: As you leave a prank with no payoff. So some
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: like fifty five year old fucking bald guy uses it
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: on his like pube shampoo, Like.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: That's not me. He does like to see the prank.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: And I also had to stop pranking because everybody such
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: pussies about pranks, and.
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: Because your pranks were getting a little out of hands. Yeah,
• 30:29
  Speaker 4: like a cack diet people.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: I did that one time to my first day at
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: the office. I lobbed it to him. I was like KB,
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: and I.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: Threw him cat speed in which you throw it. Why
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: threw it at him overhand? Hard to him? That's a
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: little more malicious. And he pierced his hands.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: One of my early for one of my early TikTok videos, No,
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: it was die. He didn't bleed at all, and I
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: don't think he caught.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: I think to the hospital.
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: One of my early TikTok videos was throwing pairs of
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: scissors to people.
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: Though.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember that, and that was good fun because
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: half of the people caught it.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: Have you seen that video of the guy who gets
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: pissed off in the dorm room and throws the scissors
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: at his roommate and it sticks into his leg and
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: he goes, great, Now, I'm gonna have to go to
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: the fucking hospital. He goes, are you fucking serious? It's
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: just in his leg. He's not even taking it out.
• 31:22
  Speaker 4: That is like that sense, because like the college roommate
• 31:27
  Speaker 4: rage that you would get. Yeah, that is something like
• 31:29
  Speaker 4: if someone stabbed me. I probably my first reaction wouldn't
• 31:31
  Speaker 4: even be to like feel pain. I'd be like, look
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: what you did again, you fucking dick.
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: Now clean your fucking ramen. Yeah, or did you have
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: you ever seen the guy who's in his dorm room
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: and like his like roommate walks in while he's doing
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: some kind of presentation and he starts like scream freaking out. No,
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: it's fucking rich man.
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: I had some weird conversations with my college roommate. Oh yeah,
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: and then you had him on a podcast. Yep, so
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: you show keep in contact with him. No, not really,
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: I hadn't seen him in many years. And then he
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: was on the Bachelor in Paradise. Oh yeah, I forgot
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: about that. So he's just stud Yeah he is.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: I mean that's a vastly different experience than I'm.
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: Black as well. No, yeah, what.
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: Is it Matt James?
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: Don't you know? But I know him, I've met him.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: Really.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he's cool. He's a great guy too. My guy's
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: name is Romeo.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: God damn, that's on the nose.
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know that is. It's like the most romantic
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: name you could have.
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: And he's on a black stud who was on the Bachelor.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: What did you guys?
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: Talk about his experiences? And then oh wow, and then
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: he told his story about how he'd caught me jerking
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: off one time. Oh Francis did not like that. Oh
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: I didn't because he was lying fast. He said that
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: he was lying in the in our bunk bed, he
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: was on below me, and that above me him I
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: was jerking off, which I would never have done. I
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: was like, I would believe this story. If you had
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: told me you had walked in on me jerking off,
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: I would say, oh yeah, I bet that you never
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: jerked off while your roommate was in the room, No, dude,
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: with the fucking metal thing shaking, No way, I did.
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: My roommate did as well. It was just we never
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: spoke about it. You just looked at each other, never
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: confronted each other on podcasts, but.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: Nor did you break eye contact.
• 33:26
  Speaker 4: Would do some freaky shit. I was like just a
• 33:29
  Speaker 4: normal I jerked off the normal way. He would be
• 33:32
  Speaker 4: like mounting objects in the room around the he.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: Turned on the lights. It's a Harlem shake video.
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: Hey man, here's your mini pumpkin. It fell out of
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: your covers.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: This is stuffed, dude. My my roommate was a medieval
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: stable boy, a squire boy who like was only like
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: he like transported through time to be my roommate and
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: then like as soon as college was over, he went
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: back in time.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: That's crazy.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: It was fucking nuts.
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: That's very interesting. I would like to hear the true
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: version of what you're getting at.
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: That's the that's the real version.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: I believe him. No, there's something here, but I need
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: to know what it is.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: He was like a squire boy.
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: Like he was.
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: It was like Christopherson's like that, but he was like
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: a squire boy. It was unmistakable, like if you saw him.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: He wore like a burlap sack and had like a
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: haircut like a monk.
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: Did he cosplays as a medieval no boy.
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: No costplay. I don't think was even invented yet. When
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: where he's from.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: Did he work at medieval times?
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: And the time period he's from didn't have like medieval
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: times or really restaurants.
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: It was just the times.
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: It was just like the barely they just had gruel
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: that they would eat out of like stone divots.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: Was fucking it was nuts. He was he was all right.
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: I never caught him drinking off, but I would try. Yeah,
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: that of course had jerking off in his time.
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: Did you? Would you just how would you try? Would
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: you just like slam it.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: Out and I would leave to go out for the night,
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: and then I burst back in like four minutes later.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: Damn.
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: But imagine if he was just like so rushed to
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: jerk off that he like immediately as I left, like
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: pulled up his tunic and was like starting to beat up. Yeah,
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: like he would at least give it at least fifteen
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: minutes or something like that. You would hope, Yeah, he'd
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: check his son dial or whatever and like at the time, right.
• 35:28
  Speaker 4: I don't actually know. I disagree. I think most right
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: away college, Yeah.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: Oh, to maximize the amount of times that you could
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: jerk off.
• 35:35
  Speaker 4: No, because you're sitting in your bed just looking at
• 35:37
  Speaker 4: your phone. And then as soon as he leaves, just
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: time to jerk off. Now, like once the door closed,
• 35:42
  Speaker 4: as I'm already jerking off.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: You were already jerking off your fucking potato sack with
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: as soon as the door closed, as you're fucking actually
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: going to town finishing off.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: Did I remember going to college.
• 35:56
  Speaker 4: I remember being so pumped about how comfortable my bed
• 35:59
  Speaker 4: was because I slept in a bunk bed until I
• 36:01
  Speaker 4: was eighteen, and the mattress was like a fucking rock.
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: And then I remember I moved.
• 36:07
  Speaker 4: I went to college and I got like a mattress pad,
• 36:09
  Speaker 4: and I was like, this is crazy, how nice this bed.
• 36:12
  Speaker 4: Like everyone else was like, man, I missed my bed
• 36:14
  Speaker 4: at home, and I was like, dude, this is so
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: much better than my bed at home. And then I
• 36:18
  Speaker 4: would go home and I would sleep and I'd wake
• 36:20
  Speaker 4: up sore.
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: Your parents could have got you a mattress pad. They're
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: like fourteen cents.
• 36:24
  Speaker 4: No, they're actually surprisingly expensive.
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: Really cheap ones. You can get them cheaper. And yeah,
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: you don't want to you want to split dirits on
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: the mattress pad.
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: I remember everyone's saying that splooge on Thelu's.
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: Roommates slept on a straw t he did, dude. It
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: was incredible.
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: I never saw anything like it. It was so weird
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: because everybody else on the floor had like normal regular
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: roommates and dude, then this kid anyone did.
• 36:50
  Speaker 4: I don't know anyone that had my bow's roommate in
• 36:52
  Speaker 4: college was a Nazi.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: Pull on from thirties. Yes, it's like a tradition Nazi
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: like here like high black boots.
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. No one I know traditional, not
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: neo and because dude, no one I know.
• 37:13
  Speaker 4: In college really And the funniest part was that people
• 37:15
  Speaker 4: would like put in efforts to get a roommate. They'd like,
• 37:18
  Speaker 4: do those like I don't know if they did it
• 37:19
  Speaker 4: when you guys went to college forty years ago, but
• 37:21
  Speaker 4: when I went, it was like.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: You people would do and like the dude at least
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: I could see it through.
• 37:28
  Speaker 4: People would do like surveys, and you would do these
• 37:31
  Speaker 4: like Google forum surveys and they would match you with someone,
• 37:35
  Speaker 4: or you would do you would go onto the Facebook
• 37:37
  Speaker 4: group and you'd like meet someone through Facebook.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: You know, it's fucking wild.
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: And then you'd go through.
• 37:41
  Speaker 4: All that effort and you would still end up hating
• 37:43
  Speaker 4: the dude that you've lived with.
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: Because the people who pair people up are spending all
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: their time putting two hot girls with each other. Oh, Yeah,
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: They're like, who's the hottest two girls we could find?
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: We're going to put them in the same room with
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: one another, especially if you're the ra You're like that
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: or is it? I thought it was like, uh, I
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: don't know. I thought it was like.
• 38:04
  Speaker 4: Picking all of the hottest girls, be like, that's who
• 38:06
  Speaker 4: I'm going to take care of.
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: I wrote air Ball stem drinking. I wrote on my
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: about me personal thing that I wrote a paragraph or whatever,
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: and then I said at the end, I said, I
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: I volunteered that I was completely comfortable with homosexuality. That's brave.
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: I got three roommates. Two of them were gay.
• 38:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, obviously, and then the problem for anyone else was like,
• 38:30
  Speaker 4: by the way, I don't fuck with the gay shit.
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: They just didn't even say it. The fact that I
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: said it made them say, we need to give him some.
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then of course they're going to coax him
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: out of the closet a little bait.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: We had two rooms, two bedrooms and then a common room.
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: And unfortunately the two gay guys said we want to
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: live together, so they just really immediately siled themselves into
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: a bedroom and then I was left with Romeo.
• 38:58
  Speaker 4: I always wondered that though, why how come the gay
• 39:01
  Speaker 4: kids are allowed to sleep together in college, but you're
• 39:03
  Speaker 4: not allout to room with like a girl, right, Like,
• 39:06
  Speaker 4: aren't they're probably just fucking?
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: No, No, I don't think they were.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: They're just no, they're just probably sucking each other. Yeah,
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: it's just like it's a safe place to suck. It's
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: not like they're actually fucking. They're probably going out at
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: night to find their own boyfriends and stuff like that.
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: But when they strike out, instead of jerking off making
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: eye contact like you were, they just would suck each other.
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 39:27
  Speaker 4: True, I guess Yeah, I guess I was jerking off
• 39:29
  Speaker 4: with my roommate anyway, so and we weren't attracted.
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: To each other, Like, yeah, let's put these two gay
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: kids together.
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: Oh man, that's good ship. I'm not because you're fucking gay, dude.
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: No, but I guess I did know a lot of
• 39:45
  Speaker 4: gay kids at college.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: Well.
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: I did live on the gay floor, that's why.
• 39:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah, how like it goes by like the girl floor
• 39:52
  Speaker 4: or the boy floor and the gay floor like a
• 39:54
  Speaker 4: turkey club.
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: On the gay floor, and we were fucking all the time.
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: Why did they put the gays all the way in
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: the top because they knew that they were the ones
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: in the best shape to handle the stairs.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: Probably it was the top in the bottom, that's where
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: they would put them.
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the sex that they have now.
• 40:14
  Speaker 4: But I knew a bunch of gay kids who lived
• 40:15
  Speaker 4: together in college and they didn't fuck, which sound I
• 40:19
  Speaker 4: don't know.
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: They never told me.
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: Why would they.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: You know, who lived in my room roommate? Uh, like
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: many years earlier, Tommy Lee Jones and Al Gore.
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: No, that was your room.
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: They were roommates.
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: They're like the most famous Harvard or they're the most
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: famous college roommates period in.
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: My dorm room.
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: No, that's interesting, and they were fucking they must have
• 40:42
  Speaker 4: been probably probably.
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: It's a lot of talent. Tommy Lee Jones, what a
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: legend would a stud I.
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: Feel like he presents as older than al Gore.
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: He certainly does.
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: But that's crazy that he went to Harvard even Diego.
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: Would you see that Al Gore and Tommy Lee Jones
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: are the same age. It seems hard to believe.
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's earth shattering.
• 41:02
  Speaker 4: That might have been just a classic Romeo prank.
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: Tommy Lee Jones is younger than al Gore? What the
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: two years? What in fucking hell? How crazy? What in tarnation?
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: That doesn't make a lick of sense. Damn your dorm
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: rooms and they must have been incredible.
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: No they weren't. No, they were no better than anywhere else.
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: That's not true at all.
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: The outside.
• 41:27
  Speaker 4: What's that one school that's like expensive as fuck and
• 41:30
  Speaker 4: the dorm rooms are like it's like a resort.
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: Probably Rawlins College. Where is that? It's Florida?
• 41:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that what I'm thinking. They have like
• 41:39
  Speaker 4: they have like housekeepers.
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: Is it Orlando?
• 41:43
  Speaker 4: They have like housekeepers and ship that come to their dorms.
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: There's one in New England where like the everything's on
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: a fucking bluff, like you're you're there. The dorms are
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: literally like they're senior housing. That's like wedged onto the water.
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: It's like the most beautiful ship I've ever seen. I
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: saw it on TikTok. It's the penn State dorms were
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: a prison like. It was literally the highest density population
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: of anywhere in the state of Pennsylvania, more so than
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: the prisons. They just have so many people stambed.
• 42:13
  Speaker 4: I think that's what all the big state schools are like.
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, it's what U mass is.
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: Like, and they're probably built in like the nineteen fifties
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: or something like that, and they refuse to update anything. Yeah,
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: imagine the amount of semen in the fucking drains, dude,
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: yeah a lot. Imagine how crazy that dude from Saltburn
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: would go, like a fucking buffet licking his child, fucking
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: fighting through fucking urinal cakes of semen that were sucking
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: salactites of semen.
• 42:45
  Speaker 4: Did you guys have conjoined bathrooms? Because I was the
• 42:50
  Speaker 4: corner dorm. I was all at the end, so we
• 42:52
  Speaker 4: had our own bathroom.
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: Must be nice. That was awesome.
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: We had like a whole fucking whole floor had the shower.
• 42:58
  Speaker 4: But I got to college a week before my roommate,
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: so it's tough to make friends when you don't have
• 43:03
  Speaker 4: a roommate. And everyone's like, oh, keep your door open
• 43:07
  Speaker 4: via these like big ass weighted doors. Kept it open
• 43:10
  Speaker 4: and just closed instantly, And I just sat in my
• 43:14
  Speaker 4: room and cried for a week until he showed up.
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: I actually believe that.
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh, I cried the whole time.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: That's why they're like, we need to put you on
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: the gay floor.
• 43:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I cried constantly.
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: Why did you What were you so upset about.
• 43:28
  Speaker 4: Because I hated it.
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: You're like, I meant for the content game.
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 43:33
  Speaker 4: I was like, I gotta get out of here, pursue
• 43:35
  Speaker 4: the arts. This shit is so gay. I got to
• 43:38
  Speaker 4: go be an artist, man, college is so gay. I
• 43:42
  Speaker 4: got to go be on stage performing every night, performing.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: My silly act, my whimsical act that's.
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: Way more masculine.
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: I made no friends with the kids on my floor,
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: not even my fucking medieval roommate, but like, uh, there's
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: I remember one time, and everybody else was great friends.
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: All they ever did was hang out. Oh yeah, kids.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: But one time I was in the bathroom and I
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: was lighting it up, like it was loud, and everything's
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: like a prison, so it's cacoffin It's bouncing off the
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: concrete walls. It was so loud, and other kids in
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: the bathroom they're like, yo, who is it in there?
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: And I had to like identify myself by my room
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: number because none of.
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: Them be my name.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: I was like, it's five.
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: Five D. It's five D in here. Holy shit.
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: It was so embarrassing, Like I could have I just
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: they wanted to be like, yo, it's Ethan in here.
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: So they could all laugh.
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: Three days later, you were recruited to be the beat
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: boxer and an acapella. Ye is that roz Ellen there
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: to beat box I smoked.
• 44:52
  Speaker 4: I remember my roommate we smoked his packs get a
• 44:56
  Speaker 4: packs thing. Yeah, I remember. I got so fucked up
• 45:00
  Speaker 4: from that.
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: Pases were so strong when those first came out.
• 45:04
  Speaker 4: And he was like, dude, this is way better than weed.
• 45:06
  Speaker 4: It doesn't smell and it uh and it's not as strong,
• 45:09
  Speaker 4: stronger than weed, and smelled so incredibly strong. I would
• 45:13
  Speaker 4: not it's literally you're just smoking weed. I wouldn't have
• 45:16
  Speaker 4: said it was stronger than weed.
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: Well.
• 45:18
  Speaker 4: I didn't smoke a lot of weeds, so I was
• 45:20
  Speaker 4: just a wild guess, but it did. Saying it doesn't
• 45:23
  Speaker 4: saying it doesn't.
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: Smell is crazy.
• 45:26
  Speaker 4: It's not like like you're you're literally just taking actual
• 45:28
  Speaker 4: weed and putting it in this too, Like where do
• 45:30
  Speaker 4: you think the smell is going?
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: Well, some of the packs came with uh, you didn't
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: pack it. Some of them just had a like like
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: a jewel pod.
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: Damn near Oh no, this was that was We called
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: those the Stizzy. That was the Stizzy.
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: But the Stizzy is a brand in packs. Yeah, they're
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: the same thing.
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: But I was in the stizzy. But then packs. Also
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: he's talking about the vaporizer of the flower.
• 45:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what he was using. And he's like, it
• 45:53
  Speaker 4: doesn't smell. Gave lighting weed on fire.
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: It didn't know not. They don't combust them. It's just vaporizing,
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: heating it to a level where the vapor comes out. Yeah,
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: and the smoke, but it's not much snow. It's it
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: doesn't smell compared to a joint or all.
• 46:08
  Speaker 4: It smells so strong. I could smell it. I could
• 46:10
  Speaker 4: smell him smoking it while I was walking down the hallway.
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: It's a different type of smell though than regular burned weed.
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: I think, uh, do you did you guys ever do
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: those fucking big ass bags like a gravity bond. No,
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: it's like a bag and you or maybe it's oh.
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the volcano. Volcano, Yeah, the volcano. I've tried that.
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: That that thing's crazy.
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah. They just look fucking nuts. And you could just make,
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: like as you can make a fuck Thanksgiving float like
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: these massive long ass bags, and then when you and
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: the squeeze it and then you and fucking disappear this
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: massive amount of I guess it's vaporized. I think it's
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: the same thing, same thing as a pact, but instead
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: of one's very compact and then the other one, you
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: just have the least compact thing ever. But they're fun
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: watching it come to life.
• 46:59
  Speaker 4: Like a walks in when you're doing that and you
• 47:03
  Speaker 4: just got this big balloon in your room.
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: It's the thing you get when you first move into
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: a house. Yeah, Like, I'm gonna fucking make my wee smoking,
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: my full personality tired shadows. Yeah, I'm not gonna hide
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: who I truly am anymore. I'm gonna have a.
• 47:17
  Speaker 4: Fucking Finally, my parents aren't here to stop me from
• 47:20
  Speaker 4: embracing my true colors.
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: Get some crazy bongs and shit like that. Yeah, when
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: we first moved into the gas glass into the first
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: house in college, we like pulled our money to get
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: a bong and like a speaker system. Those are the
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: two first things we bought. Turned on the speaker system
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: and we're dancing around like maniacs at our freedom, and
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: someone just kicked the fuck out of the bong. It
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: just shattered everywhere, heartbreaking.
• 47:42
  Speaker 4: That's why you gotta get some thick ass glass, bro.
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: It was. It was an illadelf. Bro, it was a tag,
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: It was anhiladelf. I don't know what anildelf is. It's
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: a bong brand. Oh, I'm talking, there's an actual bong brand.
• 47:52
  Speaker 4: Thick as glass. Oh, really, drop that ship from ten
• 47:54
  Speaker 4: feet up. It's not gonna break.
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: Shut up.
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: Shit's thick. We should have got a tag when I'm
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: My friends had one of those.
• 48:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and he would carry it around a backpack in
• 48:03
  Speaker 4: high school and he would have to wrap it up
• 48:05
  Speaker 4: in saran wrap to try and get the smell to
• 48:07
  Speaker 4: stop by that thing. I mean, it's hard to get this.
• 48:09
  Speaker 4: It's hard to remove the smell from a twelve inch bob.
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: I had to stop smoking bongs because of watching the
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: everything that gathered on the inside. Could you just imagine
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: it happening to your lungs? Oh?
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: And it would.
• 48:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah, people who smoke bongs their lungs turn like black.
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: I think any type of smoking does that shit to you? Yeah,
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: have you guys seen that smoker's lung? The black smokers long?
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: I think Maresh tweeted it out recently.
• 48:33
  Speaker 4: M like the one they show you in health class
• 48:34
  Speaker 4: when you're ten years old.
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: I can tell you that I've been off the weed
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: for a month or so now, and I feel worse
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: every day. Maybe you should get back on. That's what
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking.
• 48:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, just get back on. I'm not allowed, Oh because pregnancy.
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because sperm?
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: How long? How far? Long are you far enough?
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: Touching his bequad? That sperm service is crazy, though, I know,
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: did you talk about that here?
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I did.
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: I don't think you did.
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: There's a sperm service that you could test your sperm
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: like this, but send it out. They send you a
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: kit in the mail. Yeah, and it's like it's like
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: it's like Warby Parker. They're like, try these for a
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: week and if you you know, so they send you
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: this thing and it comes in this beautiful green box
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: and you pop the seal and then there's like an instructional.
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: There's a there's a QR code that sends you an
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: instructional YouTube video that walks you through all the steps
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: except the one where you would watch the guy actually
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: jerk off into the cup and they're like, well what
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: now you know?
• 49:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what what do you mean? Deliver a sample?
• 49:42
  Speaker 4: Do I get more quigraph?
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: I should call them?
• 49:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah, hey, I should call them and act like you're
• 49:47
  Speaker 4: completely oblivious to the idea of masturbation.
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: As they're explaining, it'd be like, wait, keep going.
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I get it.
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: How do I get this out of my body?
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: Are you going to take it from me?
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: Do you have a female employee one with a Russian accent?
• 50:04
  Speaker 4: Uh?
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: So? Yeah? So then uh, it comes in this cup
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: and then you and then you have to you know,
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: deliver it and then mix the fluid. Uh. And by
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: the way, you know, I'm jerking off in my home
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: and my wife knows that I'm doing this, Yeah, which
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: is weird. Yeah, she's like I'll see you in ten minutes.
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: Like I was not gonna take that long. Yeah, and
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: like a pit crew, landing it in the little cup
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: is tough. Yeah, I'm sure. Turns out a little cup
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: is much smaller than your chest, much less surface area
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: than your entire.
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: Or so well, you don't usually have to do it
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: like a drone strike where it's like a precision.
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: Appreciate it's like a cup.
• 50:47
  Speaker 4: No, I will watch that sport though, flailing around.
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, precision nutting.
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I had to be so precise that I couldn't
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: even enjoy the oh.
• 51:00
  Speaker 10: Oh does extract that's right, So I did it, and
• 51:07
  Speaker 10: then I screwed the cap back on, and then you
• 51:10
  Speaker 10: put it in the vault.
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: They've got this little like donut thing that's called the vault.
• 51:14
  Speaker 2: And then you have to take a piece of red
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: tape and you place it over the box again and
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: then reseal it and send it back in a shipping
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: return box with the return label on it. But it
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: has to set. You have to send it out the
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: same day that you nut.
• 51:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so this is like you're in fucking like need
• 51:30
  Speaker 4: for speed.
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: It's quick.
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you gotta be quick, and it has to be fresh.
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, sure enough. Fucking FedEx. Something happened, you know, it lost,
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: It went went the wrong way, and I get an
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: email being like, hey, we didn't get your sample in time.
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: We're going to do this again. We'll send you another kit.
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: And I was like, don't mind if I did. If they.
• 51:51
  Speaker 4: You'd imagine if they misplaced that box and they sent
• 51:54
  Speaker 4: it to someone else. Well, the problem is open it
• 51:56
  Speaker 4: up and it's just a fucking load.
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: What the Who ordered cottage cheese?
• 52:02
  Speaker 4: Like that video of the kid of the kid unboxing
• 52:04
  Speaker 4: the bong in front of his mom. I ordered a
• 52:06
  Speaker 4: PlayStation card What the fuck is this? Why is there
• 52:11
  Speaker 4: a fresh load in our mailbox or the next box car?
• 52:16
  Speaker 4: I didn't order that, guys, like top of cum.
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: This isn't basketball cars with the frick. I didn't freaking
• 52:31
  Speaker 2: order that.
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: Oh my god. So what are you gonna do? Just
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: beat off again?
• 52:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess I have to. Well, it's coming on Friday,
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: and then I can't do it until Monday, and then
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: I'll do it on Monday and send it back out there.
• 52:43
  Speaker 2: They're based out of San Antonio, Texas.
• 52:45
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, dude, you got to get it all
• 52:47
  Speaker 4: the way to San Antonio. Yeah, you better just doing
• 52:50
  Speaker 4: that when you're out in Houston.
• 52:51
  Speaker 2: That's not about it.
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: Hand delivery.
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you know what I'm right now.
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's probably the Migraine front.
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: I'm out front. I just busted like a steaming box.
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: You're like brushing in with it like a heart transplant.
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: You deliver it on ice.
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: Swim it across the Rio Grande.
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I bet it was the Venezuelans, like
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: the migrants. The train of migrants probably fucking nicked it
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: and probably stole all the packages. They're warning us about
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: the criminals coming over they didn't tell you that they're
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: stealing sperm sperm samples.
• 53:25
  Speaker 4: I would bet that that happens fifty percent of the
• 53:27
  Speaker 4: time that you do that.
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: What that that day? Or they're like it took too long.
• 53:34
  Speaker 4: I would bet that you there's a chance you'll have
• 53:35
  Speaker 4: to do it a third time.
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: Uh yeah, I mean I'm getting pretty sick of it
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: pretty frankly.
• 53:41
  Speaker 4: Also, you should call them and tell them that sick
• 53:43
  Speaker 4: of busting guys.
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: They freeze it and then you could actually use it
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: to create an embryo. Yeah, it's not surprising. And I
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: was like, I don't want this one to make an embryo. Yeah,
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: well that's not my best shit. I was watching some
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: fucked up porn. Yeah, to make this one happen.
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: But maybe that's why there's so much of it, because.
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: You're a freak bowl I guess so true.
• 54:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a that's a delave a note next time,
• 54:10
  Speaker 4: kids any more?
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: Where that came from? Yeah? Right?
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: I wonder if there's like a QR code for like porno.
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: You know how in the like when you go into
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: the offices and do stuff like that, there's like a
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: stack of magazines or they offer you pornography to know
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: help you on your sponge.
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: Didn't, but they did specify, Uh, masturbate to masturbate to completion.
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: Do not use saliva. Do not use cream of any kind. Damn.
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: You can't get your wife to blow you to the
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: point of almost completion and then turn your penis to
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: the left and come in the cup.
• 54:53
  Speaker 9: Wow.
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: Interesting, Or spit in your hand, or use saliva as shortening,
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: or you saliva as a mix ingredients, like when they
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: put a dry wall in the cocaine to make there
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: will be a little bit more. What a journey. I
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: can't believe. I cannot imagine starting a company like that.
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's amazing. It is pretty amazing because I'm
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: gonna like find out all these stats.
• 55:20
  Speaker 4: What do you think they're gonna say, Well.
• 55:22
  Speaker 2: They'll let me know if my motility is low or
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: like if if you're counting all these things, if they're uninspired,
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: if they're.
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: You know, too much mountain dew.
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they never took swimming lessons when they were children. Yeah,
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: all they can do is chreadwater, but not actually do laps.
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: Dude, we should do that as an office challenge.
• 55:40
  Speaker 2: Dude. Yeah, got a bad idea.
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: Check everyone's sperms or like, get I guess guess which
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: sperm is? Who's set them all on a counter lower
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: in the bar style? Yeah, let Joey.
• 55:52
  Speaker 2: Taste them all. That's frank the tank.
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: SALTYA yes, oh you could tell by the preservatives. Does
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: that all make it to sperm? To your sperm the
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: things you eat? Because they say pineapple maker, I.
• 56:07
  Speaker 2: Would think there's got to be some kind of yeah,
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: some kind of uh affect or.
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: Your candy ass has to have the fucking nastiest taste
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: and sperm.
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: Without Probably you should put some food coloring in it.
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: Next time. You've been thinking about this a lot.
• 56:20
  Speaker 4: I'm just trying to think of ways you could fuck
• 56:21
  Speaker 4: with them. Just put like some fucking green food coloring
• 56:24
  Speaker 4: in it.
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: And I call and you're.
• 56:26
  Speaker 4: Like, that's what it always looks like?
• 56:29
  Speaker 2: Is that what it's supposed to look like?
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: I had a medicine one time they termed my sperm green.
• 56:33
  Speaker 4: Really well what it was like a tint of green? Yes,
• 56:36
  Speaker 4: but it wasn't like the color of this couch.
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it wasn't ghak. Yeah, it wasn't like Nickelodeon green. Yeah.
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, that'd be.
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: Crazy though, but it was enough where it was like
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: what and I forgot that I had taken the medicine.
• 56:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was enough to be disturbing. I don't like
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: that shit. Pop.
• 56:52
  Speaker 4: Pepto bismo makes my tongue black.
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: That's fucking weird.
• 56:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's not an uncommon thing.
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: I thought you were gonna say, may your sperm pink.
• 57:01
  Speaker 2: No, it makes my tongue, which would black.
• 57:06
  Speaker 4: You gotta wake up and you gotta scrub it off.
• 57:08
  Speaker 4: I haven't noticed that, just waking up doing black tongue.
• 57:13
  Speaker 4: Justin Trudeau having to rush to Parliament grub the racism
• 57:17
  Speaker 4: off of your tongue.
• 57:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he was.
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: Just bathing in pepto bismol. Yeah, he's a freak bowl.
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I've had enough of Trudeau. I've had just about
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: enough of Trudeau. Feels like he's been Prime minister for
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: ever my entire life.
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: Who was even before him?
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: Uh? No, good question, ooh, I'm not gonna be Remember.
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: Who is that fat fucking idiot Rod.
• 57:41
  Speaker 2: Rob Yeah, the mayor of Toronto?
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Chris Farley.
• 57:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, he the one that was like smoking crack.
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah he had done Yeah.
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: That was awesome and he just didn't care what the
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: fuck was that guy's name, but.
• 57:57
  Speaker 2: It was like four It was like a recording rub.
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: Yes, he was having them last and he was like
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: talking like Patois with like Jamaicans outside of a kfclos.
• 58:07
  Speaker 4: It was like but it happened multiple times, like they
• 58:09
  Speaker 4: were like, he's not smoking crack anymore, and then he'd
• 58:11
  Speaker 4: be like, I smoked it again.
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: I relapsed. Yeah, your boy relapsed under crack.
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: I smoked that shit again.
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: I can't believe he was spoken, but I think a
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: lot of bros up there, dude talk to Patois in Canada.
• 58:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah, they got all sorts of different shit out there,
• 58:27
  Speaker 4: French Canadian Jamaicans.
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they got both things.
• 58:32
  Speaker 4: I mean, it would make sense, like it like two stereotypes,
• 58:36
  Speaker 4: like two countries where they have similar stereotypes, Jamaica and Canada.
• 58:40
  Speaker 4: Everyone's like they're so friendly, they're so nice.
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: Did they say that about Jamaica.
• 58:44
  Speaker 4: I think it's just assumed with their cool ass voice
• 58:46
  Speaker 4: and their and their fun enjoyable music.
• 58:49
  Speaker 2: You guys ever been to Jamaica?
• 58:51
  Speaker 4: No? Yeah, I went to Jamaica Queens where fifty cent
• 58:57
  Speaker 4: was shot.
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: Is that where he's from to?
• 59:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah? I believe so who else is from their.
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: South side, Jamaica Queen's Way. They raised me, so jay Z,
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: Nicki Mina, Oh, she's coming to Milwaukee soon, guys, we
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: should go out there for a show.
• 59:12
  Speaker 2: Totally. She's falling off quite a bit right now. I
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: don't think so.
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: I mean she's she's at the main like stadium is
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: fair enough.
• 59:21
  Speaker 4: I don't think she has like the hype around her
• 59:22
  Speaker 4: that she used to. But the barbs are still fucking nuts.
• 59:27
  Speaker 4: They still love her.
• 59:29
  Speaker 2: She's good.
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: It's tough because female rappers it's not like they're ever
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: gonna link up. It's like one is replaced by the next.
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: She was replaced by Cardi B, who was replaced by
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: Meggan the Stallion, Who's replaced by Ice Spice, who's replaced
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: by Sexu you Red, Like they all just take the
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: next one spot, like fucking.
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: I thought Cardi B was still pretty big.
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: Probably probably not as big as she was because Ice
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: Spice is fucking but was Ice Spice.
• 59:52
  Speaker 4: Ice Spice's music is nowhere near as big as like
• 59:55
  Speaker 4: Cardi B's or Nicki Minaj.
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: But she has like seven second sound bites where she's like,
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: you're not even.
• 59:59
  Speaker 2: A far true and those are very big.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I mean. That's all you need now.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 4: It is all sound bites these days and ass shaking. Yeah,
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 4: it's yeah, that's the problem. If you're a girl rapper,
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 4: you gotta have like, it's tough to outdo Ice Spices ass.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: I saw a meme today that was like it was
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: Taylor Swift with her arm around Ice Spice and their
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: net worths were on both of their backs, right above
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: their asses. Taylor Swift one billion dollar net worth, Ice
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: Spice two million dollar net worth, And it was like,
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: what would you choose? And everybody's like, if you pick
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: Taylor Swift, you're a fucking you like little boys. I'm
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: taking Ice Spice with her fucking big ass.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah what do you where do.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: You guys follow that?
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: Oh, I'd like little boys.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'd probably choose a billion dollars.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: Boys with the sugar mama though two million. H But
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: there is such a big difference between two million and
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: one one and yeah with like a private plane.
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 2: Think about this. If you put one billion dollars into
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: treasury bonds yielding five percent interest right now, that means that,
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: without invading your principle, you could spend fifty million dollars
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: a year. Just play money without losing money. And it's
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: a safe investment. It's guaranteed by the government.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 1: You could buy her, buy t Swift a Brazilian butt lifts.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: True.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: You could buy her a new ass. You could buy
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: her fifty million dollars worth of new ass.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: Some good news, sweetheart, I buy your new ass. I'm
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 2: just gonna need need to not eat between eight pm
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 2: and seven am tomorrow. I'm gonna have a surprise for you,
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 2: and I will drive you to doctor.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna fly you down to South America. You'll have
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: to kneel on the flight back.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 4: I don't want to have reserved a full row for
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 4: you on the way back.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I don't think that the dudes who were
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: looking at this meme, we're thinking about treasury bonds. No,
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: they were like Taylor Swift, built like an iPhone.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it doesn't really seem like the kind be
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 2: very dude. That's immediately where my head goes. I drive
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 2: by the sign and it says what the lottery winning
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 2: or the jackpots are right now, and I don't think
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 2: about what I could buy you think about I think
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 2: about how much I could generate without making any sort
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 2: of difficult investment at all. Yeah, just just like how
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 2: how much money that would kick off? Right now? That's
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 2: hilarious where you could not invade the principle.
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: That Kanye line where he's like, you know, white people
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: get money, don't spend it.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's good now, but you do spend money.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: I certain spend a lot of time. I have a problem,
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 2: do you. I don't spend any money.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: You do dress like a safari could break out at
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: any time.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 2: I dress that way.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: And we're just in the jungle and Francis would.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: They mocked for my clothing From two guys who dresses
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 2: though they were fetched from the ocean by the coastguard
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 2: and given whatever was on hand, they both look hypothermic. Shiver.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 2: We're going to bring you back.
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 4: I'm not clowning your fits. I just didn't expect to.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: Find you floating far off the coast.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: The Italian man just takes his workout clothes from his bag.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: He put it on. Put this just a couple adjacent bournes.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: You can't remember how they ended up in the fucking
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 2: Arctic sea. Bro, this is I put on my best
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 2: fit for you guys today.
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: I have.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 2: I know every single piece of clothing you own. I know.
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 4: I was looking at ll Bean today though to purchase
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 4: some more clothes.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: Good, you must be doing good.
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 4: Then it was like but then it was like, not
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 4: gonna get here until one of the shirts I was
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 4: looking at it said, uh, it's sold out and it
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 4: won't arrive until April. I was like, dude, absolutely not
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 4: not ordering clothes that are going to come in over
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 4: a month.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 2: Here's what we'll do. We'll go shopping this week.
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: That ship you're gonna wear them for eight years.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 2: With people taken too long to do stuff. We'll go
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: shopping this weekend. Up upstate, there was.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 4: A comedy club won't names who I requested my tapes from,
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 4: and they said it's going to take them five to
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 4: seven business days to get me the tapes.
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 2: And I order, I requested five to seven business days.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: That's seven weeks for you.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 4: Well, I mean, dude, what, First of all, what comedy club?
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 2: What co.
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 4: My comedy club operates on business days?
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 2: You got your ass? Good day? Seven seven weeks.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: You don't observe business days?
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 4: Oh that's Monday and Thursday, so they can only send
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 4: it out on Monday and Thursday. No, but seriously, dude,
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 4: what comedy club operates on business day?
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 2: They're open, They're open every day of the week. That's crazy.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 4: That's crazy, right, and it's two it's a one hour
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 4: of material. Let's take fifteen minutes to shock to.
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: The people who work at the comedy club. Don't have initiative?
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 4: Well no, because it's like some comedy clubs like Pittsburgh.
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 4: They sent them over in fucking a day.
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 2: In Houston.
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 4: The dude gave me them while I was in the
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 4: green room. Still, you should be able to just do
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 4: it right there and now five to seven businesses is insane.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: Providence was really good about it.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Like are they skimping on the shipping fees?
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 4: I don't know what they're doing, but they're always there's
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 4: always some weird Oh you well you got it.
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 2: You didn't pay us the fee. It's like you already record.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 4: Them, just give me them for free.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 1: There's gouging here. It's crazy.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 4: It's like you think if you sell out a weekend,
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 4: just you just get.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 2: Them for free.
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: That's a subtle flex.
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 4: No, but really no, I mean am I not? Am
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 4: I crazy for saying that?
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: I have never thought about this in my life, so
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: I haven't considered whether you're crazy?
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 2: Am I crazy for that?
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 4: For thinking if you sell out a full weekend, it
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 4: just as when everyone walks away happy that you don't
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 4: have to pay fifty dollars for your tapes.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 2: One of the is what you're saying. It just sounds entitled.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 4: Wow, does that sound entitled?
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 2: You know you'd think I'm the headliner selling out a weekend.
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 4: I would think if the shows are sold out, everyone's
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 4: getting free tapes. I don't know if it's like the
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 4: manager would walk around and.
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 2: Be like free tapes for everybody personally, like I've sold
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 2: that weekend.
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 4: This was a great weekend free tape around.
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 2: I mean I've sold that weekends. And in those times
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 2: I actually tend to give the videographer more time to
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 2: deliver the tape.
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: Because they have to engineer how loud the laugh song.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 2: I want to make sure I.
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: Get to sound mix for literal hours because people are
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: scream laughing the microphone, they're peaking because people are laughing
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 1: so loud.
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 4: There's a lot of they're like, yeah, you actually broke
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 4: our whole sound system.
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 2: This happened before.
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we don't have to recover from me.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 4: They they get the tapes back from me and they're like,
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 4: were you speaking on stage? We didn't get any of them.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 2: No, the crowd mic must have been muted.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: I don't know what.
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 2: I've gotten. Uh, I get what you're saying. I get
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 2: what you're saying.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 4: But and it's happened, like I know, it's a common thing.
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 4: I just know that the business days thing is what
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 4: is what chalcked me because Saturdays are like their biggest day.
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 2: Whatever.
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 4: No, truly, there's not a single person on earth what
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 4: cares about that cares about the last ten minutes of
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 4: this podcast.
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 1: No, that's not true at all.
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 4: There's legitimately not one person on the planet who was like, Wow,
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 4: that five to seven business days thing was really intriguing.
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 2: It was very interesting.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 1: I just like to hear your blood boil about something
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: that's good. I just like to hear you care. Yeah,
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: it means so much to you.
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 2: Let's go shopping this weekend, sas.
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, go to Orge.
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 2: You and I believe it or not if you like albean,
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 2: because you know, you know I bleed albean.
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I know you're a beanhead, big bean boy. I
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 4: know you're a beaner.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: I'm a bean flicker, and uh, I get your style,
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: and I got a store we can go to this weekend.
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 2: We'll do it all right.
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 4: Well, as long as it's not like three hundred dollars,
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 4: sure it's not.
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: It's not sas you can afford it. Shut up up
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 1: cosplaying as a poor person.
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 2: Liquid.
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, a liquid.
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 4: When you're all liquid, you gotta be very careful about
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 4: where your money goes. No, yeah, no, why because it's
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 4: you're not making more. There's no passive income when you're you're.
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 1: Selling out every weekend. What the fuck are you talking about?
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 4: Oh no, no, no, you just got this very large misconception there.
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 2: I just saw you'm selling out every weekend.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: From Denver with a fucking Louis Duffel bag full of.
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 4: Cash, still sticking with my Nike, my Nike red. Yeah,
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 4: well it was full of Cash's faithful. It was still
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 4: full of cash.
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 2: There's never been cash in that bag.
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 1: You had a thick white had stickers.
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 4: In that bag. Someone in Portland gave me a bunch
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 4: of stickers.
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: It was ten thousand dollars stickers that were wrapped around
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 1: ten thousand dollars, so.
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 4: They gave me a bunch of son of a boy
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 4: dad and uh and like my tour poster stickers like
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 4: a wall, like this big of a wad of them.
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 2: And I've had them in my bag since then.
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 4: And I was going through TSA the other week and
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 4: they pulled my bag and they were like, what's at
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 4: the bottom of this bag? And I was like, I
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 4: don't know, stickers And then they hold them out and
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 4: they went, it looks a lot different through the camera.
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 2: Did they think? What else could it have looked like?
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I could live in the city
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 2: of Denver simply on the situation. The airport, Oh, it's cursed.
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 2: You know that.
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 1: That sucks. Whenever you walk to that top atrium and
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: you look down at the.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 2: Floor and the flood of people, it is so many.
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 2: I've never I've never it looks like Ellis Island in there.
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 4: I will say for from my personal experience, it's always moved, surprising,
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 4: what is going on?
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 2: Like how can they not?
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it moves fast, and sometimes you go down to
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 1: like the mash pit and then they're like, no, the
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 1: line is all ro.
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 2: It started up top. I was in line on a
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 2: staircase and I have, you know, fucking tsa pre check.
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 2: I have Clear, I have everything that above the sun.
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 4: Well Clear has become slower than regular, that's not true.
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 1: And look and jfka do you go in this My
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: priority line is way faster than the CLEAN.
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 2: I did.
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 4: So I got to the airport early at leaving Denver
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 4: and I've been I have to update my Clear because
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 4: I haven't done it to the next gen. And I
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 4: was like, all right, I got time. This is when
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 4: I was there, there was no line, and I would tell.
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 1: You that they emailed you, dude, They didn't fucking email you.
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 1: And I'm not checking for emails from Clear anyway, dude.
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 4: So I'm in this line and it's me and another
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 4: dude and there's like this old dude running Clear and
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 4: he's like, could you update your next gen thing?
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 2: And I was like, yeah, sure, I'll do it. I
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 2: don't care. And I do it.
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 4: Takes like ten minutes because this guy is moving slow.
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 4: And then we get to the end and he's like,
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 4: all right, now you got to redo it, scan your
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 4: fingers and it just comes up with update next gen.
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 2: And he was like, fuck, he did the whole thing wrong.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 2: You just didn't do No.
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 4: He was like he played it off like he like
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 4: like it was updated, and then he was like, all right,
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna need to see her id And then I
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 4: had to go over to TSA and do like the
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 4: whole thing, while the other dude that he did it
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 4: for didn't. And I just never said. I was like,
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 4: I'm not going to get in like an argument with
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 4: this guy.
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 1: I did argue with the guy. Yeah, it was a woman.
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 1: I should know.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 2: Oh there was. There was a guy in my line,
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 2: one of the TSA agents, who was trying to be
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 2: a comedian, and I'm talking he had a full blown
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 2: routine that Friday beer sketch. I don't think so.
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 4: You haven't really funny about the TSA guy like being
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 4: a comedian.
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 2: I haven't seen it. It's hilarious. This guy, I mean,
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 2: this guy, you know, truly like it because he would
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 2: wait till a bunch off the line was moving so
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 2: slowly that he would do his bit and then he
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 2: wait for a new fresh, wait for a new crop,
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 2: and then he would kind of start it over. That's awesome.
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 2: How was the bit very rehearsed?
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 4: They God, you should have given him some pointers. I'm
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 4: trying to do some tags.
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 1: There's some CrowdWork, buddy.
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, hey, don't be afraid to mix it up here
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 4: and there, get involved with the crowd.
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't remember.
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 1: You being in the moment will mean a lot to them.
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 2: You know, something like something like put your bag on
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 2: the conveyor belt. We live in a society. If you
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 2: don't and you don't want to do that, like leave
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 2: now and forever hold your peace. Yeah, it was, it was.
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 2: That's not good. No, it's crazy. But there were there
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 2: were like some jokes in there, but I.
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 4: Would have gotten way further. That guy has a bomb.
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 4: I saw it in his bag. I'm just kidding.
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 1: Guys, if you have a gun, like, yeah, a couple
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 1: Arab guys, be careful.
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 4: If you do have a bomb in your bag, please
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 4: use the left lane.
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 9: Make sure you blow up Ted's airplane. I hate that faster,
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 9: please I will. I legally can't tell you, but target
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 9: my boss. He did have a couple ex wife jokes.
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 9: Really yeah, he had some ex wife stuff.
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 2: It probably wasn't even jokes.
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 1: Say you have an ex wife, dude, the woman who uh,
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 1: it's a fact even if you're a woman. Those women
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 1: like but the woman who did my next gen upgrade?
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 8: Uh?
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 1: She had. She couldn't give a fuck. She was like,
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 1: I shouldn't argue with me. She was arguing with my wife,
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 1: to be honest, But her background of her phone was
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 1: a super sexy picture of herself that it was just
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 1: like a picture of her alone with like her titties
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 1: fully out. You can see every tattoo on her body.
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 4: I mean, dude, if you're working at TSA, you probably
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 4: need like a pick me up here and there.
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 1: Just be like, wait, just let me show this to
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 1: my ex wife so she remembers what the fuck she's missing.
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I should make my profile my screenshit are just
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 4: like a picture of my dick.
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 1: Or just one of the jack a photoshop jack pictures.
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 1: People are like, what the fuck? He doesn't look like
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 1: that ever? Know whose phone this is?
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 2: You're looking at him? Wait, this isn't you?
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: Oh man?
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 2: All right, all right, we can end it. That was fun.
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 4: Me and France are gonna be in Albany, New York
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 4: this weekend. Get tickets at Little Sasquatch website dot com
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 4: or the Albany Honeybone website or Francesellus dot com. Alrighty,
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 4: we'll see you guys on Tuesday.
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 2: Goodbye.
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 1: There's a shooting at the Cheese Cray