Latest / God + Mental Health Podcast / What Is Emotional Endurance? Leslie Bosserman on Building Resilience Through Faith

Transcript

What Is Emotional Endurance? Leslie Bosserman on Building Resilience Through Faith · God + Mental Health Podcast

0:00
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, welcome back to the god and mental health podcast.
0:03
[SPEAKER_00]: My name is Rosalindam.
0:04
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so excited to be back in front of the microphone with you this week.
0:07
[SPEAKER_00]: I have another exciting interview and I'm so excited to share this interview with y'all because I am interviewing someone that I think you're going to really enjoy.
0:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Her story is fantastic and I think she's going to offer some amazing, amazing insight.
0:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Especially if you are someone that is, you know, a working person or someone that just really wants to just build resilience in your emotions in general.
0:28
[SPEAKER_00]: So, I'm going to introduce to you Leslie Bosserman.
0:30
[SPEAKER_00]: She is an executive leadership coach, TEDx speaker and founder of Lead with Intention based in Northern California.
0:37
[SPEAKER_00]: She is a two-time UCLA alumni and a certified professional
0:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome Liz, we how are you?
0:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much, it's so great to be with you.
0:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I know I'm so excited, so why don't you kind of just tell us a little bit about who you are in the work that you do?
0:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so first and foremost, I am a believer.
0:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I am an entrepreneur.
1:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm a mom of three young kids, so I juggle a lot.
1:03
[SPEAKER_02]: My husband and I co-founded.
1:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Sacramento's first and only co-working space with child care.
1:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Back when we had two young kids and we're trying to just even work from home a little bit and it has taken off.
1:16
[SPEAKER_02]: It's called the Makers Place.
1:17
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's something that was a side hustle and I was a full-time hustle.
1:21
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm an addition to being an executive leadership coach and speaker and trainer.
1:25
[SPEAKER_02]: So everyone asks, well how did you find time to ride a book?
1:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I said, I prayed.
1:29
[SPEAKER_02]: I woke up early and I was just faithful.
1:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Hi, yes, I know, as a mom, we have to get up early in the morning to do anything.
1:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I know.
1:37
[SPEAKER_02]: We figured out, but I'm so jazzed to be here just to talk about kind of this intersection of the science of emotional endurance with all of the truth from the Bible.
1:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I say that in my 20s, I kind of learned the skills,
1:50
[SPEAKER_02]: of what it even was, just why do you even need emotional endurance?
1:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Then in my 30s I started teaching and training and coaching around it and then in my 40s I realized I need to start writing about it and start sharing it so it's not just locked up inside me or when someone's one-on-one or in a training with me and so I'm emotional endurance really combines a lot of
2:11
[SPEAKER_02]: the science of hope and resilience and strength psychology and many concepts that are taught on a leadership platform or a well-being platform or mental health and then it takes it a whole level deeper because it's grounded in the purpose of why we are here on this earth.
2:26
[SPEAKER_02]: to be kingdom builders, to be faith-led individuals.
2:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I get asked a lot.
2:31
[SPEAKER_02]: Can you still practice emotional endurance if you're not a believer yet?
2:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Or if maybe you fall in a way from faith?
2:36
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, everyone has access to it.
2:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Just like everyone has access to Jesus.
2:40
[SPEAKER_02]: So when I think about just this kind of construct of emotional endurance, it's really a dynamic capacity we develop over time.
2:47
[SPEAKER_02]: And we'll go, we'll go a couple of layers deeper there.
2:50
[SPEAKER_02]: No, a lot of fun.
2:51
[SPEAKER_00]: And I love talking about this because I think that, you know, for me being a therapist, a lot of clients are coming in, not knowing the skill of their own personal emotions.
3:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And then when we start to learn about them, they understand like these emotions were things that were always there that I never knew were present.
3:08
[SPEAKER_00]: So why don't we go back?
3:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Why don't you talk to me a little bit about how you got into executive coaching?
3:13
[SPEAKER_00]: What were some of the things you saw?
3:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Especially in people who were holding these high positions that led you to kind of want to understand a little bit more about how these emotions than impact our work.
3:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, absolutely.
3:25
[SPEAKER_02]: It actually started in the residence halls that you see, I was managing a 900 student residence hall, mainly with transfer students, and just all these college students trying to navigate identity, trying to navigate who they are as a student, sometimes a parent, a single parent,
3:41
[SPEAKER_02]: and really coming together to process emotions.
3:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was only a couple years ahead of them in my master's program, really working through kind of my own process of that, and then I moved from West LA to Central Illinois and started working at the University of Illinois more with college students teaching and doing some coaching and training, when I got asked to lead a coaching program through
4:03
[SPEAKER_02]: the university.
4:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Wow.
4:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And I realized I'm like, I know the concept of coaching, but I am not yet trained or certified as a coach.
4:11
[SPEAKER_02]: So I was in my mid 20s and I approached my boss at the time and it was probably one of the bravest, maybe naive.
4:17
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know.
4:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Probably bravest things I've done where I found the program, the coach's training institute that was one of the foremost programs.
4:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And I wanted in person training, I just knew that would be fundamental for me.
4:27
[SPEAKER_02]: And I pitched her, I said, hey, if you would grant me PTO to five weeks of this course over this span of a year, so like five, one week training sessions, I will, I will invest and I will go forward and like pay for it basically.
4:40
[SPEAKER_02]: And she said yes.
4:41
[SPEAKER_02]: So that was a moment when I realized I have skin in the game like I'm invested in this so I flew from Central Illinois to New York City to Manhattan and I was the youngest person in my coach training program by at least a decade.
4:56
[SPEAKER_02]: as most people don't fall into professional coaching when they're in their early to mid 20s.
5:01
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just people who don't have the middle of your work.
5:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, they've done the middle of your work.
5:05
[SPEAKER_00]: They've been in their maybe corporate job for a while.
5:08
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's a problem to that in your 20s.
5:10
[SPEAKER_00]: That is so cool.
5:11
[SPEAKER_02]: So I got absolutely a doctor.
5:13
[SPEAKER_02]: We'll say.
5:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, so okay.
5:15
[SPEAKER_00]: So what did you learn from that as far as like going through the coaching process?
5:19
[SPEAKER_02]: I had to really confront my own kind of saboteurs and my own inner critics around.
5:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you know enough to do this?
5:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Are like people were asking me?
5:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, what do you really know?
5:28
[SPEAKER_02]: You're only X, Y, and Z, and I thought, you know, it doesn't matter how old you're at matters, how curious, and how willing, and how teachable you are.
5:36
[SPEAKER_02]: And so kind of taking that mentality that growth mindset and really just running with it.
5:40
[SPEAKER_02]: And I remember sitting there
5:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And just leaving those saboteurs at the door and just really being in it and thinking, I love this work.
5:49
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to do this for the rest of my life.
5:51
[SPEAKER_02]: So I returned to Illinois.
5:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I helped grow this program.
5:54
[SPEAKER_02]: I worked with a lot of alumni stakeholders, so people who were those executive leaders.
5:58
[SPEAKER_02]: So I got to coach them, train them how to coach students, and really build that bridge.
6:03
[SPEAKER_02]: And then, about a year later,
6:05
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been at the University for almost three years.
6:07
[SPEAKER_02]: I realized that I want to be an entrepreneur and I don't know what that looks like, but I really want to go for it.
6:13
[SPEAKER_02]: And I just started a business, I started a side hustle business.
6:17
[SPEAKER_02]: I told my supervisor, I made a plan eventually to move back to the West Coast because that's where I'm from.
6:22
[SPEAKER_02]: And we just ran with it.
6:23
[SPEAKER_02]: It was a big, faith-filled step.
6:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
6:25
[SPEAKER_00]: So you said something earlier that I think is really good that I kind of want to use that as like kind of our leap into a little bit more about emotional endurance.
6:34
[SPEAKER_00]: You said when we get curious, we're willing to get curious about our emotions.
6:39
[SPEAKER_00]: That's where we really can kind of understand them a little bit more.
6:42
[SPEAKER_00]: So, talking about why is it important for people to get curious and be willing to like understand those emotions to begin to address them?
6:52
[SPEAKER_02]: for sure.
6:52
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, one of the biggest things I've had to overcome is my own inner critic.
6:57
[SPEAKER_02]: So this sense of judgment versus curiosity and understanding.
7:01
[SPEAKER_02]: And this sinks right with your kind of framework.
7:03
[SPEAKER_02]: So if we're tying it back to a couple episodes ago, really focusing on
7:08
[SPEAKER_02]: how curiosity is the antidote to criticism.
7:10
[SPEAKER_02]: So if you open up your eyes and ask, well, what do you know about this?
7:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, what motivates you versus, well, why did you do that?
7:18
[SPEAKER_02]: You can tell the difference in tone.
7:20
[SPEAKER_02]: It just opens you up to understanding yourself and being a student of your own experience.
7:24
[SPEAKER_02]: And with that perspective, you can't go wrong.
7:27
[SPEAKER_02]: You just, you learn, you grow, you're humble.
7:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Look, there's so much.
7:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like, I think when we think about judgment
7:36
[SPEAKER_00]: framework that we have around ourselves, and we think we're just not doing a good job, but we're not good enough.
7:41
[SPEAKER_00]: It just creates this overwhelming feeling like we'll never move past it.
7:45
[SPEAKER_00]: So for you, talk to me about how that led to you writing the book, emotional endurance.
7:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe that was from years of coaching people, kind of some of the consistencies you saw, that may people not really move past the challenging things that they were experiencing in the moment to then finding hope.
8:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, what were some of the things that led to you understanding that a little bit more?
8:07
[SPEAKER_02]: That's such a good question.
8:09
[SPEAKER_02]: So this book has been like a decade in the making.
8:11
[SPEAKER_02]: So from the time, I had the initial kind of idea and framework for teaching emotional endurance.
8:18
[SPEAKER_02]: It was never like, oh, I'm going to teach this so I can write a book about it.
8:21
[SPEAKER_02]: It was more, I'm going to teach this because people need this.
8:24
[SPEAKER_02]: and the need really helped me research like neuroplasticity and how our brain learns and how God designed us to have our brain learn, right?
8:32
[SPEAKER_02]: And some of these bigger concepts that are interwoven in so much of the mental health work and well-being work and leadership work.
8:39
[SPEAKER_02]: And we all follow.
8:40
[SPEAKER_02]: So I kind of followed this golden thread, I'll call it.
8:44
[SPEAKER_02]: invisible golden thread of what is exciting about the work I'm doing in coaching, what do people need, what is missing in the world of a book's out there because there's nothing new under the sun.
8:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Everything we're talking about, someone has spoken or thought before, but it's packaged in a way that makes it somewhat accessible.
9:01
[SPEAKER_02]: When I finally came up with this, both the time and the space and the desire to pursue publishing, and I was faithfully writing.
9:09
[SPEAKER_02]: I was just blogging and then writing on sub-stack and writing short-form articles places, but I realized like there's something more here, and I want to create something that will live beyond me that someone could hopefully walk into a Barnes and Noble or a local bookstore and airport.
9:25
[SPEAKER_02]: and be drawn to just the desire to have more emotional understanding and the endurance to keep going.
9:31
[SPEAKER_02]: And from that, I created a skill-based framework.
9:34
[SPEAKER_02]: So the book's really great because it has six core principles and they're all organized around both science and scripture.
9:41
[SPEAKER_02]: And then each of those core principles has three actionable skills.
9:45
[SPEAKER_02]: And so everything that you read in it, you could actually open it at any point and read any skill.
9:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And it would be something you could gleam something from.
9:52
[SPEAKER_02]: So you don't have to read it in order.
9:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I wanted to make it really accessible, especially busy parents and people who maybe own five minutes, right?
9:59
[SPEAKER_02]: And then it also has reflection questions that are built in and something to have you go layers deeper.
10:06
[SPEAKER_02]: To dive into it and then I'm also made a book club guide that has even more reflection questions So if you're like me and you're like, oh, I want more.
10:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to dive deep the book club guide actually has space to write in so yeah Yeah, yeah, so tell me I think one of the things that I really like about your book is like you taught it about the skills part of it
10:26
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think when we are experiencing, especially people who you might coach, there might be in high demand situations or like manage a lot of responsibility or even just a regular person, one of the core things I think we all as human beings experience is stress.
10:41
[SPEAKER_00]: and how stress can create these over responses, fight-of-flight responses, they can impact the way we sleep at night, the impact how we eat, the impact how we interact with our kids, the impact how we interact in our relationships with others.
10:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Why is stress such an impact to our emotional states?
11:01
[SPEAKER_00]: That's one.
11:02
[SPEAKER_00]: And the second question I want to ask is, why is it important to have skills to know how to address those things?
11:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so this all starts with understanding your kind of baseline stress threshold.
11:14
[SPEAKER_02]: So there are certain people who I'm a pretty high-octane person.
11:17
[SPEAKER_02]: I handle a lot, a juggle a lot.
11:19
[SPEAKER_02]: I also know a lot of people might not have that disposition, and there's no judgment there.
11:23
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just saying, where am I with how, what's my fuse?
11:27
[SPEAKER_02]: What's my capacity to hold stress?
11:29
[SPEAKER_02]: And back over a hundred years ago, there were two scientists named Yerksen Dodson.
11:33
[SPEAKER_02]: who analyzed the relationship between stress and performance.
11:37
[SPEAKER_02]: And it actually have a graph that I made in my book, but there is, if you imagine like a bell curve,
11:44
[SPEAKER_02]: It basically stress increases performance, but only to that tipping point.
11:48
[SPEAKER_02]: And then it goes right over that bell curve, like a roller coaster, if you can imagine it.
11:52
[SPEAKER_02]: And some people that top of that is even wider and the whole goal is to be able to expand your stress threshold.
11:59
[SPEAKER_02]: So when stuff happens, you don't plan for, you don't like, you don't want, it doesn't trigger you to the point where you automatically tip over the top.
12:07
[SPEAKER_02]: So I think a lot and I train a lot of individuals and clients around
12:11
[SPEAKER_02]: how do you understand what is triggering you, how do you kind of name that so then you can tame some of these triggers before they hijack your best work in your best intention.
12:21
[SPEAKER_02]: I know in in the Gospels of Pulse of Pulse talks about that we will to do that we do not practice.
12:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
12:26
[SPEAKER_02]: So we can watch it do something and yet we do something else in so stress and burnout and all these things layer into that.
12:33
[SPEAKER_02]: So when I when I'm working with executive leaders and and even I own a preschool so I'm working with preschoolers too, and there's two ends of the developmental spectrum right understanding oh I'm feeling really frustrated right now what is frustrated feel like when I'm frustrated what is possible for me if I stay frustrated and I don't either unpack this or work through it or move through it.
12:56
[SPEAKER_02]: because you don't just dismiss an emotion, you sit with it, you let it wash over you like a beautiful ocean, right?
13:01
[SPEAKER_02]: You just get soaked in it because God created our emotions as messengers.
13:06
[SPEAKER_02]: They're not the marching order we follow, right?
13:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, my goodness.
13:09
[SPEAKER_02]: That's not marching orders.
13:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
13:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
13:12
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll fill out in that what you just said with the kind of a story.
13:15
[SPEAKER_00]: So I used to, when I worked at a group practice, I used to go walking every Friday.
13:20
[SPEAKER_00]: It was kind of my way to close out the evening or the week from seeing clients.
13:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And one of the questions I asked God was, what is the point of all this?
13:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it was probably a frustrating week and I just asked him, I said, God, what is the point of all of these emotions that you have given us?
13:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Like why does it feel so hard for us to navigate through these challenges and these things?
13:40
[SPEAKER_00]: And very gently, I felt like the Holy Spirit said, rather than emotions are just information.
13:47
[SPEAKER_00]: They kind of give you like a thermometer reading of where you are.
13:51
[SPEAKER_00]: But we look at them as kind of like the driving force of what we should do instead of a temperature gauge of where am I at versus where do I want to be and so kind of as you're explaining with kind of understanding our emotions a little bit more what are some simple ways for somebody who might traditionally be an avoider because I know for a lot of us we can there are our people who express way more I know it.
14:18
[SPEAKER_00]: My kids now, they're just, they just expressed their five and three.
14:21
[SPEAKER_00]: So they're, they're expressing all day.
14:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, my goodness.
14:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Prash it so much expression, I'm like, can't, can we just hold out on the expression?
14:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Just a little big, give my make up of me.
14:32
[SPEAKER_00]: But then like, there are people who may never have had the space to know what even safety looks like.
14:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And I want to, I will talk about how this impacts within our relationship with God.
14:42
[SPEAKER_00]: But what does it look like for someone who may avoid?
14:45
[SPEAKER_00]: maybe scared to express their emotions or scared to explore for them, but would be some things that she was suggest or maybe give them to begin to start to try to understand what is triggering them.
14:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I think the biggest thing that you just touched on is emotional safety.
15:01
[SPEAKER_02]: So if you don't have a sense of emotional safety where you feel like
15:06
[SPEAKER_02]: you're allowed to feel, and you feel like you can take all of the beautiful and sense of messy and crazy emotions you're feeling, and just let them be and arrest, then it's very hard to feel like you can even name them.
15:20
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I work with clients who often feel kind of stuck or trapped, and just allow them to create a trusting space where they can spew whatever they want.
15:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not judging it.
15:29
[SPEAKER_02]: And if you don't have an individual
15:35
[SPEAKER_02]: who you can do that with.
15:36
[SPEAKER_02]: God is always there for that.
15:38
[SPEAKER_02]: That's where prayer and journaling and all of those just individual practices really double down beyond that when I work on a one with clients, if let's say, how was your day?
15:49
[SPEAKER_02]: How are you doing?
15:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I'm fine.
15:50
[SPEAKER_02]: We do this all the time, right?
15:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I'm doing okay.
15:53
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's not an answer for me.
15:55
[SPEAKER_02]: That's not a feeling.
15:55
[SPEAKER_02]: That's a state of state of
15:58
[SPEAKER_02]: complacency will just say.
15:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Uh-huh.
16:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Uh-huh.
16:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I would say, well, what's under fine?
16:02
[SPEAKER_02]: What does fine look like for you right now?
16:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Or if you say you're okay, what would make it just a little bit better than okay?
16:08
[SPEAKER_02]: What does that feel like?
16:09
[SPEAKER_02]: So I do a lot of work with perspective.
16:10
[SPEAKER_02]: So if a client comes to me and lets say they name an emotion, they say, I'm completely overwhelmed.
16:16
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm frazzled, I'm reaching burnout, and they have the name for it.
16:19
[SPEAKER_02]: But they don't have the solution or the anticoat for that.
16:23
[SPEAKER_02]: We sit in that and we explore what's possible there.
16:26
[SPEAKER_02]: We explore what's under there.
16:28
[SPEAKER_02]: We don't diagnose it.
16:29
[SPEAKER_02]: We just explore the here and now.
16:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And then we look and say, if we weren't able to move passes and we were stuck here.
16:35
[SPEAKER_02]: what could we do?
16:36
[SPEAKER_02]: And generally it's not very much, right?
16:39
[SPEAKER_02]: And then we figure out how we want to feel instead.
16:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And oftentimes going from where we are to where we want to feel, it feels like very polyanets.
16:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, oh, well, that's just optimistic.
16:48
[SPEAKER_02]: It actually is real work.
16:49
[SPEAKER_02]: This is the real work because how emotions work that you said the temperature check.
16:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Once you know what you're feeling, then you can call it captive and bring it into the process of forming a thought.
17:02
[SPEAKER_02]: And sometimes the thought you feel instantly is not lovely, right?
17:05
[SPEAKER_02]: It's kind of ugly.
17:07
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's where taking that cognitive restructuring and going emotion to thought.
17:12
[SPEAKER_02]: And then that thought that we can claim and say, this is how I want to be thinking, even if it's not aligning with how I'm feeling.
17:19
[SPEAKER_02]: This is the thought I'm moving forward with.
17:21
[SPEAKER_02]: And that turns into action, that consistent action turns into behavior.
17:25
[SPEAKER_02]: And that behavior pattern shapes our character.
17:28
[SPEAKER_02]: And the character is really what matters.
17:29
[SPEAKER_02]: It's what we're known for.
17:31
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's, that's what I helped teach clients.
17:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Like really connect emotions together.
17:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that so much.
17:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
17:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that so much Lizzy.
17:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that I love how you tied scripture in the way in which we navigate through this.
17:45
[SPEAKER_00]: So tell me, how does having emotional endurance
17:49
[SPEAKER_00]: even aid us with the non-relationship of God and also in what God has called us to do because I can imagine for me as some who I would say I'm high performing.
17:59
[SPEAKER_00]: My national disposition is to overwork my way through my emotions.
18:04
[SPEAKER_00]: where I'll say, okay, some things not working, I need to do more to figure this out.
18:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Instead of trying to be present with myself and kind of move through it, I just kind of overwork it.
18:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, okay, God, I should be doing more.
18:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I'm doing something wrong.
18:19
[SPEAKER_02]: That's my default, too.
18:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Just to be.
18:21
[SPEAKER_02]: That is my default.
18:22
[SPEAKER_02]: That is.
18:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'll just go into overwork mode that it has really, and sometimes it's hard because God will put me in a season where I'm forced to slow down and be with him.
18:32
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm very frustrated about that because it's, it's requiring me to rest.
18:37
[SPEAKER_00]: And so in these moments where we might be experiencing stretch or challenge, how can this help us in our spiritual walk with God?
18:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And how does God even aid us when we are experiencing challenges even with enduring through our emotions?
18:52
[SPEAKER_02]: So one of the core things I have had to learn, and maybe I'll say, I'm learning this.
18:57
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm not a hypocrite if I have had to learn the importance of building and sustainable rhythms of rest and renewal before I burn out because I'll just keep going.
19:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, if God did not create and command and ordain a Sabbath, I would literally just keep going.
19:13
[SPEAKER_02]: I would never be going.
19:15
[SPEAKER_02]: And I joke often with my husband like, man, I'm so glad we keep a weekly Sabbath and observe this, because if we didn't, we would all just burn out.
19:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And there's, there's thought in that.
19:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Whether you use it as someone who's church going or use it for a restaurant renewal, I mean, people take sabbaticals, right?
19:31
[SPEAKER_02]: Seven years of work.
19:32
[SPEAKER_02]: There's the concept of land Sabbath in the Bible as well.
19:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
19:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
19:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
19:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Let the land rest.
19:38
[SPEAKER_02]: So there's all these different ideas around
19:41
[SPEAKER_02]: how did God intentionally design us for work, purposeful work, and purposeful rest, and they're both equally valid.
19:50
[SPEAKER_02]: So when I think about just what you're mentioning about that over processing, I've had to just tell myself just like you would a small human who you're working with in parenting, paid so Kate a feel how you're feeling, it's not okay to allow
20:04
[SPEAKER_02]: the feeling of overwhelm and stress to take over because you're not your best self.
20:09
[SPEAKER_02]: And in those moments, you take either a timeout.
20:11
[SPEAKER_02]: My timeouts might look like getting a nice cup of water.
20:14
[SPEAKER_02]: It might look like going on a walk.
20:17
[SPEAKER_02]: I might do 10 jumping jacks.
20:18
[SPEAKER_02]: It depends on what I need.
20:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Sometimes it's not stillness.
20:21
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's just getting into my body kind of that somatic work.
20:25
[SPEAKER_02]: So your your body holds a lot and if we're feeling stuck I'm a strong believer that a change of geography or change of perspective aids us a lot.
20:33
[SPEAKER_02]: I use that in coaching I won't necessarily make my clients do jumping jacks.
20:37
[SPEAKER_02]: I do have the move.
20:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I love it So yeah, there's there's a number of different practices.
20:42
[SPEAKER_02]: The big the big thing is figuring out what you actually Need to feel renewal because we were not made or out
20:49
[SPEAKER_02]: we were made for energy oscillation.
20:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And there's a ton of science around this.
20:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I have a whole, one of the six principles is actually called energy to engage, and it ties in the science of energy management.
20:59
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's not just about like, oh, I'm going to do more and manage my time better, my calendar better.
21:04
[SPEAKER_02]: It's figuring out when you actually can do, quote-unquote, more or do what you want to do because you have the energy that's fulfilling and you actually feel engaged.
21:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think what you're kind of talking through sounds a lot like capacity.
21:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
21:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Can you talk to me a little bit about like what your definition would be of capacity?
21:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I think, and I'll pause the question with the statement of, I think for people who are hyper-formers, I would say.
21:30
[SPEAKER_00]: is, or even someone who might just do a lot or might manage a lot of responsibility, we kind of gauge the goal of rest when we accomplish something.
21:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And we don't kind of, and I, what you're saying and I love the way you're piecing this end very slowly is practices and rhythms.
21:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that, that
21:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Like just this constant, it's a consistent thing, you're to sustain you in a way I guess you would say versus push you to the goal as the reason and the reward to be able to rest or relax or do these things.
22:06
[SPEAKER_00]: And so how does it look for capacity?
22:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I think what your name is like, almost like these practices and rhythms build our capacity to do more.
22:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
22:15
[SPEAKER_00]: So tell me a little bit about what your definition of capacity is and maybe how these things build more capacity.
22:23
[SPEAKER_00]: 100% even even like regularly or sorry, I mean, sort of you're quite even regularly in the spiritually.
22:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
22:29
[SPEAKER_02]: So the whole purpose of writing a book on emotional endurance is to help people find accessible and sustainable practices for expanding their inner capacity to handle what's hard.
22:42
[SPEAKER_02]: That's, that's my goal with this.
22:44
[SPEAKER_02]: So you, you just hit it spot on.
22:46
[SPEAKER_02]: So when I think of capacity, it's
22:52
[SPEAKER_02]: So, and that's not alone.
22:55
[SPEAKER_02]: It's with God's support.
22:56
[SPEAKER_02]: So, I think about, I don't have a rubber band with me, but if you put a rubber band between your fingers and something stretches you and you're holding it, and it's hard and your fingers start wiggling.
23:06
[SPEAKER_02]: So, do you pull in a partner to help you, right?
23:09
[SPEAKER_02]: You pull in two fingers here, or sometimes it's a broccoli rubber band.
23:12
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, it's really thick of the rubber bands and you're trying to pull it apart with your pinkies,
23:20
[SPEAKER_02]: and you're not willing to ask for help.
23:21
[SPEAKER_02]: So when I think of capacity, I think of what are we able to handle when it's hard, but also who do we ask for for help?
23:28
[SPEAKER_02]: And the depth of that is that spiritual understanding that we are never doing it alone.
23:32
[SPEAKER_02]: We've never expected to do alone.
23:35
[SPEAKER_02]: God's spirit is always here to help.
23:37
[SPEAKER_02]: And the whole journey in this life is address rehearsal for what's next.
23:41
[SPEAKER_02]: And so for building these skills,
23:43
[SPEAKER_02]: and we're allowing them to shape our character, that's enduring, that's eternal, and that's why this matters.
23:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think what you named brought to my mind of like, by God's design, he made it so where we couldn't do this by ourselves.
23:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, he actually made it so weird.
24:00
[SPEAKER_00]: There is such a alliance on him that will find us, especially if you're a believer, like you find yourself in
24:07
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm coming to come help you if you let me, like I'm going to slow this down so you can see that I'm here that I haven't left you.
24:15
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that sometimes when we feel overwhelmed, I've had this running thought, like, why was you leaving me out here to like deal with all this on my own?
24:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's like, I've always been here, you just ran off without me, like you didn't include me in this.
24:29
[SPEAKER_00]: And so,
24:30
[SPEAKER_00]: I think one of the things I really would like to drive home for people is the availability of God.
24:36
[SPEAKER_00]: So talk to me about how from your research and writing the book, what did you see that was maybe fresh revelation for you in the way that God designed us emotionally?
24:47
[SPEAKER_02]: It's so, so good.
24:48
[SPEAKER_02]: So, when I started writing these concepts, I typically write and speak and train for a mainstream audience.
24:55
[SPEAKER_02]: I am a faith-led believer, have been my entire life, and I have a pretty wide platform in the sense that I speak and train at different organizations and corporations that aren't only faith-based, yet many have faith-based employees, right?
25:09
[SPEAKER_02]: We are all over, and so when I started researching this and looking at who God designed us to be, I knew I could not write a book on emotional endurance without putting God at the very center of it.
25:21
[SPEAKER_02]: And the design for our lives and our purpose, otherwise it would just be a really nice pop psychology book about a lot of science.
25:28
[SPEAKER_02]: They're 104,000 of those books.
25:31
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, when I read them, I'm like, oh, this is great.
25:33
[SPEAKER_02]: It would be so nice to filter that through the Bible, right?
25:37
[SPEAKER_02]: And the truth that I know and I hold.
25:39
[SPEAKER_02]: So when I started just studying who got designed as to be and also the instructions God gives us.
25:45
[SPEAKER_02]: In second Corinthians, I'm going to read this fact real fast because I think it's so powerful.
25:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Second Corinthians 10 verse 5, it says, we destroy arguments in every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God and take every thought captive to obey Christ.
26:02
[SPEAKER_02]: So when I think about that, that came across this, like taking every thought captive, what would that be?
26:09
[SPEAKER_02]: We are commissioned to do this.
26:11
[SPEAKER_02]: That means we can have all these thoughts in our head.
26:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Some of them are not healthy.
26:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Most of them are not healthy, because we live in a severely broken world.
26:19
[SPEAKER_02]: And because of this, when we take them captive, and we invite God in, and we re-rework or rethink how do we want to be?
26:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Not just what we want to do, but how do we want to be in the doing?
26:30
[SPEAKER_02]: That's where God Spirit flows through us, and we create something a million times better.
26:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I'll share a fun, a fun aside.
26:37
[SPEAKER_02]: So, I've known my husband since we were eight years old.
26:40
[SPEAKER_02]: We were at summer camp.
26:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was probably ready to marry him at 10.
26:44
[SPEAKER_02]: That's not legal.
26:45
[SPEAKER_02]: So we did not do that.
26:47
[SPEAKER_02]: But by like 17, I was like, okay, we're really good friends.
26:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Gropon, a church community.
26:53
[SPEAKER_02]: He was about three hours.
26:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Ironically, he lives in Sacramento, where we live now.
26:57
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was in Silicon Valley.
26:59
[SPEAKER_02]: So not too far away in California.
27:01
[SPEAKER_02]: but I would save up like babysitting money and lawn mowing money to take Amtrak to go to team Bible studies to hang out with him.
27:09
[SPEAKER_02]: We talk on the phone all the time when you had to pay per minute.
27:11
[SPEAKER_02]: So like there was commitment.
27:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh my gosh, right?
27:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my gosh, I remember that.
27:15
[SPEAKER_02]: He is my favorite person in the world.
27:18
[SPEAKER_02]: and he is someone who has taught me that it's okay to be uncomfortable so you can grow throughout our whole life.
27:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Now we did not get married till we were 27.
27:27
[SPEAKER_02]: We did not date till we were 27.
27:30
[SPEAKER_02]: So there's also a level of, there's a story, a whole story of I call it the last decade, 17 to 27.
27:36
[SPEAKER_02]: but it's never lost because it's God's timing.
27:38
[SPEAKER_02]: But if you had said, Leslie, design a plan for your life, your best life, I would have taken my life planning Sharpie and I would have been like, I'm gonna marry Joel Bosterman when I'm 20.
27:48
[SPEAKER_02]: And we're gonna go to college together and it's gonna be awesome, right?
27:52
[SPEAKER_02]: And who knows if that would have happened, that might have happened?
27:55
[SPEAKER_02]: But I look at the design that God has and the free will also that he gives us to move forward to make decisions,
28:03
[SPEAKER_02]: to mess up, to recover all the things that he allows us to be, so we can grow in relationship, so we can trust him, so we can rely on him.
28:12
[SPEAKER_02]: He's not a God that dictates what we should do.
28:15
[SPEAKER_02]: He gives us the ability to choose and grow and overcome and still choose him.
28:20
[SPEAKER_02]: and I look at that in the story of now being married to my best friend for now we're almost 14 years married.
28:26
[SPEAKER_02]: I look at this and I'm like I couldn't have designed a better life because God knew what I needed when I needed it and that is the ultimate proof whenever I go back and I'm having a hard moment I'm like okay Leslie just take a breath and high five your 15 year old self because you ended up marrying the boy you still loved at 15 no matter what and I processed a ton of emotions through that.
28:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so I want to ask you a quick question about a time where God did not remove a struggle for you, but he strengthened you through it.
28:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I know that's off the dome.
28:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I love it.
29:00
[SPEAKER_00]: It can be more recent, but I know that when you talk a lot about with emotional endurance, I really would love to talk about a time where he strengthened you through something.
29:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, I'm going to get a little personal here, okay.
29:14
[SPEAKER_02]: So we have three kids in one of them has autism and he is developing well and growing but there have been a lot of people in our world who have a lot of opinions about this.
29:28
[SPEAKER_02]: And,
29:29
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, it is considered a struggle.
29:30
[SPEAKER_02]: It's also like the greatest gift in my life.
29:33
[SPEAKER_02]: He is my greatest teacher, our son Luke.
29:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Just so present, so authentic, so full of joy.
29:39
[SPEAKER_02]: And has just taught me all of those qualities of like how I can be
29:45
[SPEAKER_02]: authentically present because I'm all over the place.
29:48
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like trying to multi-task and do all the things and Luke's just there in the moment full of a bounding joy and throughout the journey he's just turned nine.
30:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been incredible because he's speaking and starting to read and really interacting while and he literally has the gross motor skills of a junior Olympian so he could
30:10
[SPEAKER_02]: anything, he is wild.
30:12
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like the best gymnast.
30:14
[SPEAKER_02]: But a lot of people, when I first share, oh, I have a child, the specialties are a child with autism.
30:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Their first response is, I'm so sorry.
30:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And I get it.
30:24
[SPEAKER_02]: That makes sense.
30:25
[SPEAKER_02]: You're trying to empathize.
30:26
[SPEAKER_02]: And I always say, I'm not.
30:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm so blessed.
30:30
[SPEAKER_02]: So, I love this because it's never something you necessarily expect or ask for, but God gives you what you need and he is just equipped us and here's the crazy, just God story under the surface of all this.
30:45
[SPEAKER_02]: So, my husband Joel was studying to be kind of a business consultant in college and was studying psychology and got into behavioral psychology and got a job
31:00
[SPEAKER_02]: and worked from a tutor level, all the way to consultants, he was running a whole clinic.
31:05
[SPEAKER_02]: So he has 20 plus years of experience in early intervention working with children just like Luke.
31:11
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm just like divine equipment, right?
31:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, and we on a preschool, so it's like the space where he can be and he can be really held.
31:18
[SPEAKER_02]: So
31:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I look at all the things in life that are hard, but are like good hard, and I wouldn't be able to separate the good from the hard, but it's also a mindset.
31:29
[SPEAKER_02]: So the days that are a little rougher or when things are regressing versus moving forward, and this is in any area, it's always a chance to say, what is God building in me?
31:39
[SPEAKER_02]: So I don't break in this moment because God's strength is what is perfected in these week moments.
31:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
31:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
31:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And kind of speaking to building.
31:49
[SPEAKER_00]: I think when I always think about especially when I'm trying to teach clients this, I think about our spiritual practices.
31:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I always say like as a believer, as a believer in Jesus, whether or not we know we have spiritual practices.
32:03
[SPEAKER_00]: So for you, why don't you kind of tell me,
32:06
[SPEAKER_00]: What are those two to three things that you kind of hold on to very tightly in your walk with God, as well as maybe more practically and maybe like secular in a way?
32:18
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you feel like are the practices that help hold you together?
32:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Not only just to build just emotional endurance, but also spiritual endurance.
32:28
[SPEAKER_02]: for sure and also just like nervous system regulation like all of it comes so they're so intertwined because God designed our bodies and our spirits and our emotions to all sync so when we're out of sync we have to retool so I would say like the core three things at least in this season of my life are
32:47
[SPEAKER_02]: slowing down the pace, the internal pace of, I'm typically pretty high octane, and so when I start my days, I either go on a walk, and I literally walk with God, I either am praying or I have like the Bible, the dwell app in my ear listening to God's Word with beautiful cello music or
33:06
[SPEAKER_02]: on a less spiritual but like movement level I go to a yoga class and so like looking at it that is like how might in my embodied experience using the body God gave me to be present with him and I also just love worship music I play it all the time I play it everywhere to the point where our five-year-old were in the car and she's like mom dad likes rock music
33:31
[SPEAKER_02]: and anti-licks country music, but we like God songs.
33:35
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, yes, they do baby girl, we like God songs and so.
33:39
[SPEAKER_02]: And our kids know all the lyrics.
33:42
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's just, it feels our house and feels our life.
33:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
33:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
33:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
33:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Then a writing for me is a spiritual practice.
33:48
[SPEAKER_02]: So really looking at just that dedicated focus time of being at one with God, but also creating something from truth.
33:56
[SPEAKER_02]: So, those are kind of my questions.
33:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I really love that.
33:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
34:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think in keeping spiritual practices, the other minds are very similar to what she just described, the walking, writing is big.
34:07
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think
34:09
[SPEAKER_00]: You can tell when you haven't kept up with them.
34:12
[SPEAKER_00]: You can tell a difference in how you are.
34:14
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's why I think that helping them be.
34:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, absolutely, on edge.
34:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Edge, just, what a cry.
34:25
[SPEAKER_00]: just needing that re-grounding space, and so I think first about someone who might be either burnt out or experiencing a lot of emotional exhaustion, will be one thing you would want them to remember, not necessarily even just from maybe having a practice, but just in general as our navigating maybe a hard season.
34:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I think the biggest thing that I want to share and just have to leave listeners with is start exactly where you are.
34:55
[SPEAKER_02]: You need no guidebook or I'm a size of Bible.
34:59
[SPEAKER_02]: You need no prerequisites to just show up exactly where you are.
35:03
[SPEAKER_02]: If you feel like you're broken down hot mess, you aren't.
35:05
[SPEAKER_02]: But you might feel a little broken or a little shaky.
35:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Just show up to God, show up to community.
35:11
[SPEAKER_02]: You don't have to show off to show up.
35:16
[SPEAKER_02]: And say, I'm hurting, it's hard, and you can tell God that.
35:20
[SPEAKER_02]: You can tell a neighbor or a friend or a partner that, and just trust that space.
35:26
[SPEAKER_02]: And if you don't know if you have someone to trust, go to God and journal that and just lay it down because that is who God is for us.
35:34
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the rock and that the strength and the foundation of everything.
35:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Hmm, it is, yes.
35:54
[SPEAKER_02]: So the book came out, July 28th is called emotional endurance, faith fueled skills for bouncing back.
36:01
[SPEAKER_02]: So a lot of it is about the bounce back, but it's also when you're before you bounce and you're down and you're like, oh, the skills to actually look at the space you're in when you're in that valley.
36:14
[SPEAKER_02]: and then not necessarily trudged out of the valley but be lifted up and carried.
36:18
[SPEAKER_02]: So it has 18 course skills and it which is really fun.
36:22
[SPEAKER_02]: They're grouped around six foundational principles of how you cultivate emotion.
36:28
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to, how you edit that part.
36:30
[SPEAKER_02]: It's okay.
36:30
[SPEAKER_02]: So there.
36:32
[SPEAKER_02]: So there are 18 core skills that I write about through six foundational principles for developing emotional endurance.
36:38
[SPEAKER_02]: So I love it when things are practical, where you can read something and you can relate to it and say, now I can go try this.
36:45
[SPEAKER_02]: So again, kind of going with that piece of advice, show up where you are, it can be messy, may not know how, and just play with it.
36:52
[SPEAKER_02]: you're going to learn something and you're going to grow and it's not a one-and-one process.
36:57
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a constant refinement.
36:59
[SPEAKER_02]: So I really wanted to give a sense of a purpose and perseverance through this book.
37:06
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
37:07
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
37:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, y'all heard it first.
37:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Leslie's book is out now.
37:11
[SPEAKER_00]: I will have all of the information about her as well as how you can find her located in the show notes.
37:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Make sure you hear books fantastic resource for you.
37:20
[SPEAKER_00]: If you are someone that is dealing with burnout or overwhelmed and really want to know how to bounce back.
37:26
[SPEAKER_00]: So Leslie, thank you so much and I wish you a lot of hope.
37:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So much for listening and I'll see you next week on the podcast.
37:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Bye.
37:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so I want to actually a quick question about a time where God did not remove a struggle for you but he strengthened you through it.
37:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I know that's off the dome.
37:49
[SPEAKER_00]: It can be more recent, but I know that when you talk a lot about with emotional endurance, I really would love to talk about a time where he strengthened you through something.
38:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, I'm going to get a little personal here.
38:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
38:02
[SPEAKER_02]: So we have three kids in one of them has autism and he is developing well and growing, but there have been a lot of people in our world who.
38:15
[SPEAKER_02]: a lot of opinions about this.
38:17
[SPEAKER_02]: And while it is considered a struggle, it's also like the greatest gift in my life.
38:22
[SPEAKER_02]: He is my greatest teacher, our son Luke.
38:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Just so present, so authentic, so full of joy and has just taught me all of those qualities of like how I can be
38:34
[SPEAKER_02]: authentically present because I'm all over the place.
38:37
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like trying to multitask and do all the things and Luke's just there in the moment full of a bounding joy and throughout the journey he's just turned nine.
38:48
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been incredible because he's speaking and starting to read and really interacting while and he literally has the gross motorcycle skills of a junior Olympian so he could
38:59
[SPEAKER_02]: anything he is wild.
39:01
[SPEAKER_02]: He's like the best gymnast.
39:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, but a lot of people, when I first share, oh, I have a child, a special needs are a child with autism.
39:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Their first response is, I'm so sorry.
39:12
[SPEAKER_02]: And I get it.
39:13
[SPEAKER_02]: That makes sense.
39:14
[SPEAKER_02]: You're trying to empathize.
39:15
[SPEAKER_02]: And I always say, I'm not.
39:17
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm so blessed.
39:19
[SPEAKER_02]: So, I love this because it's never something you necessarily expect or ask for, but God gives you what you need and he is just equipped us and here's the crazy, just God story under the surface of all this.
39:33
[SPEAKER_02]: So, my husband Joel was studying to be kind of a business consultant in college and was studying psychology and got into behavioral psychology and got a job
39:49
[SPEAKER_02]: and worked from a tutor level all the way to consultant.
39:52
[SPEAKER_02]: He was running a whole clinic.
39:53
[SPEAKER_02]: So he is 20 plus years of experience in early intervention working with children just like Luke.
40:00
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm just like divine equipment right like and we we on a preschool so it's like this space where he can be and he can be really held.
40:07
[SPEAKER_02]: So
40:08
[SPEAKER_02]: I look at all the things in life that are hard, but are like good hard, and I wouldn't be able to separate the good from the hard, but it's also a mindset.
40:18
[SPEAKER_02]: So the days that are a little rougher or when things are regressing versus moving forward, and this is in any area, it's always a chance to say, what is God building in me?
40:27
[SPEAKER_02]: So I don't break in this moment because God's strength is what is perfected in these week moments.
40:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
40:35
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
40:35
[SPEAKER_00]: And kind of speaking to building.
40:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I think when I always think about especially when I'm trying to teach clients this, I think about our spiritual practices.
40:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I always say like as a believer, as a believer in Jesus, whether or not we know what we have spiritual practices.
40:52
[SPEAKER_00]: So for you, why don't you kind of tell me,
40:55
[SPEAKER_00]: What are those two to three things that you kind of hold on to very tightly in your walk with God, as well as maybe more practically and maybe like secular in a way?
41:07
[SPEAKER_00]: What do you feel like are the practices that help hold you together?
41:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Not only just to build just emotional endurance, but also spiritual endurance.
41:16
[SPEAKER_02]: for sure, and also just nervous system regulation.
41:20
[SPEAKER_02]: All of it comes so, they're so intertwined because God designed our bodies and our spirits and our emotions to all sync.
41:27
[SPEAKER_02]: So when we're at a sync, we have to retool.
41:30
[SPEAKER_02]: So I would say the core three things, at least in this season of my life, are slowing down the pace, the internal pace of, I'm typically pretty high octane, and so when
41:45
[SPEAKER_02]: And I literally walk with God, I either am praying or I have like the Bible, the dwell app in my ear listening to God's word with beautiful cello music or on a less spiritual bit like movement level, I go to a yoga class.
41:58
[SPEAKER_02]: And so like looking at it, that is like how might in my embodied experience using the body God gave me to be present with him.
42:08
[SPEAKER_02]: And I also just love worship music.
42:11
[SPEAKER_02]: I play it all the time.
42:12
[SPEAKER_02]: I play it everywhere to the point where our five-year-old we're in the car and she's like, Mom, dad likes rock music and anti-likes country music.
42:21
[SPEAKER_02]: But we like God songs.
42:24
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, yes, we do baby girl, we like God songs and so and our kids know all the lyrics.
42:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's just, it feels our house and feels our life.
42:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
42:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And I love that.
42:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and then a writing for me is a spiritual practice.
42:37
[SPEAKER_02]: So really looking at just that dedicated focus time of being at one with God, but also creating something from truth.
42:45
[SPEAKER_02]: So, those are kind of my question.
42:47
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
42:48
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
42:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think in keeping spiritual practices that are optimized are very similar to what you just described the walking writing is big.
42:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think
42:58
[SPEAKER_00]: You can tell when you haven't kept up with them.
43:00
[SPEAKER_00]: You can tell a difference in how you are.
43:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's why I think that have been made.
43:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, absolutely on edge.
43:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Edge.
43:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Just what a cry.
43:14
[SPEAKER_00]: just needing that re-grounding space and so I think first about someone who might be either burnt out or experiencing a lot of emotional exhaustion will be one thing you would want them to remember not necessarily even just from maybe having a practice but just in general as our navigating maybe a hard season.
43:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I think the biggest thing that I want to share and just have to leave listeners with is start exactly where you are.
43:44
[SPEAKER_02]: You need no guidebook or I'm a size of Bible.
43:48
[SPEAKER_02]: You need no prerequisites to just show up exactly where you are.
43:52
[SPEAKER_02]: If you feel like you're broken down hot mess, you aren't, but you might feel a little little broken or a little shaky.
43:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Just show up, show up to God, show up to community.
44:00
[SPEAKER_02]: You don't have to show off to show up.
44:03
[SPEAKER_02]: You can literally just show up.
44:05
[SPEAKER_02]: and say, I'm hurting, it's hard, and you can tell God that.
44:09
[SPEAKER_02]: You can tell a neighbor or a friend or a partner that, and just trust that space.
44:14
[SPEAKER_02]: And if you don't know if you have someone to trust, go to God and journal that, and just lay it down because that is who God is for us.
44:23
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the rock and that the strength and the foundation of everything.
44:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Hmm, it is, yes.
44:42
[SPEAKER_02]: So the book came out, July 28th is called emotional endurance, faith fueled skills for bouncing back.
44:50
[SPEAKER_02]: So a lot of it is about the bounce back, but it's also when you're before you bounce and you're down and you're like, oh, the skills to actually look at the space you're in when you're in that valley.
45:03
[SPEAKER_02]: And then not necessarily Trudge, I have a value, but be lifted up and carried.
45:07
[SPEAKER_02]: So it has 18 core skills in it, which is really fun.
45:11
[SPEAKER_02]: They're grouped around six foundational principles of how you cultivate emotion.
45:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Little bit of the, I'm gonna, how you edit that part.
45:19
[SPEAKER_02]: It's okay.
45:19
[SPEAKER_02]: So there.
45:21
[SPEAKER_02]: So, there are 18 core skills that I write about through six foundational principles for developing emotional endurance.
45:27
[SPEAKER_02]: So, I love it when things are practical, where you can read something and you can relate to it and say, now I can go try this.
45:34
[SPEAKER_02]: So, again, kind of going with that piece of advice, show up where you are, it can be messy, you may not know how, and just play with it.
45:40
[SPEAKER_02]: you're going to learn something and you're going to grow and it's not a one-and-one process.
45:45
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a constant refinement.
45:48
[SPEAKER_02]: So I really wanted to give a sense of purpose and perseverance through this book.
45:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
45:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
45:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, y'all heard it first.
45:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Leslie's book is out now.
46:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I will have all of the information about her as well as how you can find her located in the show notes, make sure you hear books fantastic resource for you if you are someone that is dealing with burnout or overwhelming really want to know how to bounce back.
46:15
[SPEAKER_00]: So Leslie, thank you so much and I wish you all to help you.
46:19
[SPEAKER_00]: So much for listening and I'll see you next week on the podcast.
46:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Bye.