Latest / Ela's Got the Tea / I'm her MOTHER! She can VAPE if she WANTS to!
Transcript
- Ela's Got the Tea Ep. 4 record: Today an OP gets told to just go around, a mom teaches her teenage daughter that tantrums are a lifestyle, and an entitled mother decides the whole river belongs to her kid. Grab your cup and let me pour. Hello my beautiful tea leaves. Welcome back to Ella's Got the Tea. I'm Ela, your host, your mom friend, and the one who reads real stories with you and helps you find the heart in them. If you're new here, three stories every week, real people, real moments, real dilemmas. I pour, we read, and I tell you where I'd land. Simple as that. And if you've been here a few weeks now and still haven't done it, please subscribe or follow wherever you're listening. It's free. And it's how the next person who needs this show is able to find it. Since it is the last Monday of the month, it's also our last Monday with the vanilla pear white tea. If you haven't tried it yet and still want to, consider this your nudge. Details in the description below with everything else I mention. Okay, first leaf. And we're starting off with a hot brew in R slash entitled people. OP writes, entitled family thinks Fire Lane is their parking space. I recently posted about ABnB guest trying to steal my parking space. This is a follow-up to that involving the same space. This story happened three years back. My space has a fire lane immediately behind it. People like to park in the fire lane to load, unload, which I'm usually fine with, but it does block me from entering or exiting my space if someone is there. It's important to note that I'm legally blind in my left eye. My depth perception is shiz. People with two functioning eyes could probably still access my space with someone parked in the fire lane. But it would be very tight and it's impossible for me. So I come home at night and see a family parked in the fire lane. It's a young couple, their four year old, and they appear to be saying goodbye to an elderly woman who lives in the complex. I'll refer to her as grandma. Since they're blocking me, I stopped my car about twenty-five feet behind them and wait a full minute for them to move. They don't. And I assume they're unaware I'm waiting for them to leave. So I quickly flash my lights twice. The universal way of politely getting another driver's attention. Both the mom and dad look at me, make eye contact, then just casually go back to their conversation with grandma. As though I'm not there. I thought this was rude, but didn't want to make a big deal and figured they just needed another minute. So I wait. I watch mom put their daughter in the back. Husband gets in the driver's seat. So I think we're about done. But no. Mom has ex has exited the passenger seat to talk to a little girl in the back. Then little girl gets out to give another big hug to grandma. This is like the third goodbye hug between the two so far. And then mom proceeds to chat up grandma again. I'm done being overly polite at this point. I get out and shout to them. You're parked in a fire lane and blocking me from my space. Can you move? Mom and grandma, just go around. You can tell from their tone they were annoyed at me, as though I'd been the rude one this whole time by rushing them or something. Me. I'm legally blind. I can't get in without scraping your car. Mom. Well, you can just wait, to her credit. Grandma no longer joined her and started looking a little sheepish. Me. That's literally what I'm already doing. But since you're inconsiderate, you haven't noticed. Mom doesn't respond and huffily gets in her car and they all back out. Hooray As they leave, grandma is still waving goodbye, so I politely approach her. For context, I'm thirty seven female, dressed in business casual. I'm not threatening or large. I keep a normal distance between us. I'm not trying to intimidate an old lady. I tell her, listen, I don't want to get the HOA involved. Can you please just ask her not to park here? Before she can answer, we both hear the squeal of tires. and see the headlights of her daughter's car returning. Mom jumps out of the car as though I'd just punched her mom, grandma, in the face, and storms up to me, shouting, And this is a hundred percent true, is it giving or is it taking? What? She repeats this question twice. I have literally no idea what in the brain rot TikTok speaks she is talking about. So I lose my remaining patience and tell her you can F all the way off with that BS. Apparently, swearing is the worst thing all three of them have ever encountered. They literally all gasped. It devolved into a screaming match at that point. Some fun highlights. Mom. The lane isn't even painted red. The red paint was worn thin, but you could still clearly tell it was a fire lane and said no parking. Me, speaking to grandma. Did you not teach her how to read? Husband, whatever, lady, you're old. And that's a response. Me. You can join as adults when you finish growing your beard. Until then, why don't you join your daughter since You left her alone in the running car. That is still parked in the god dang fire lane. Grandma, do you rent your own here? She asks this three times in a row since everyone is yelling at the same time. me. I bought this unit ten effing years ago. I don't know what kind of classist BS you think matters here, but it'd still be a fireland and your daughter would still be a CU next Tuesday, even if I were renting. Everyone but me gasps again. Mom, are you even a mother? Me. I literally burst out laughing at this point. No, I'm not a mother, and you being one doesn't mean this is your parking space. You're just an entitled brat And then I went inside and drank cocoa with my old cat. If I knew how much trouble this space would become, I generally would have paid more for a different unit. Okay, so I'm gonna go touch on two comments that I read. Commenter one writes. This is what Google gave me lol. Is it giving is a popular internet slank phrase used to ask whether something projects a specific mood, style, or vibe. The playful flip, or is it taking, is a humorous rhetorical addition that questions if the item, look, or situation is failing. acting messy or ruining the aesthetic instead. I still don't really get it. Commenter two writes You were right with a TikTok brain rot. It apparently means it is giving to the vibe or situation. Or is it taking away from the vibe or situation? Not really applicable to the situation y'all were in, but she doesn't sound like the brightest bulb in the box anyway. Okay, so we need to pause on is it giving or is it taking? Because I read that twice and still have no idea what she was trying to say. She said it she literally said with her whole chest out, too. Like this level of confidence is seriously the funniest part of this of this whole situation. And of course, the comments were losing it. A commenter actually Googled the phrase. posted the definition and still ended with I don't get it. Two hundred people upvoted someone admitting defeat. Okay. I think I'm going to need to channel my inner Abby and Prudence for this one. So I did a little digging along with the commenters who also tried. And what I was able to get was is giving from what I'm reading, started in the black queer and ballroom culture. And then it went through drag. And then TikTok grabbed it. So it's it basically means something is projecting a vibe. And or is it taking is the Flip joke. Is it adding to the vibe or ruining it? Which means she was standing in a fire lane talking to a legally blind woman using a vibe check as a moral accusation. She weaponized a get ready with me phrase. But let's get to the heart of OP's issue. Two adults made eye contact with a woman waiting in her car, looked right at her, and Basically decided she didn't exist. That's entitlement. Not wanting the good spots. It's deciding someone else's time doesn't count. OP is legally blind in her left eye as she mentioned, but her vision isn't the issue here. An occupied fire lane blocking her spot was. This is her space, and they were parked where no one should be. And then of course the grandma jumps in with do you rent her own three times? As if that changes the rules of the fire lane. That's the kind of entitlement that isn't even mean. It's just it's just exhausting. It's the belief that status decides who gets to be inconvenienced. And I also want to repeat this Fire Lane, a place you do not work in. Look. Have I myself parked in a fire lane? Honestly no. But I have stopped at one briefly for like a minute to check my directions or as a mom, grab a to grab toy rosehip has dropped. That's it. You don't camp out there. And speaking of which, the four year old. The four year old was sitting alone in the running car in the fire lane while four adults were screaming about who's right. Now, in fairness, OP was right, and she also lost the plot at the end. She waited politely, she explained her eye situation. She tried to handle it. And she also ended up saying a word a few words I'm not going to repeat in front of a preschooler. Both things can be true. I probably would have snapped too, to be honest. And of course, then felt awful about it afterwards. The one thing I actually feel a bit sad for is a grandma. She did stop arguing halfway through and looked embarrassed. She knew and she also is a resident in this complex. So unfortunately, she's going to have to live with this. And now, as for the mother, mom to mom. I I I don't understand your logic here. Being a mother does not entitle you to be a jerk. Your attitude is honestly your attitude's really giving and taking. So Overall, OP was not in the wrong and not overreacting in the least bit, even though they weren't really asking. Her outrage is honestly understandable. And then going inside to drink some cocoa with old with your old cats. You know what, that's the correct ending to any confrontation, I believe. Next leaf. We're shifting gears now, and I want to note that story two is not as light, and I want to name that. Content warning for harassment and stalking. Also from our slash entitled people, OP writes, mother and daughter duo harassed me for three years now. To put it simple, I'm a 23-year-old adult who has been bullied and harassed by a 17-year-old customer and her mother for three years now. This incident that started it all was three years ago when the mother would come in and clearly buy vapes for her underage daughter, and I refused to sell them. They posted all over their social media to leave the shop bad reviews. I was able to screenshot their post at the time and have a video recording of them trying to assault one of my customers as well. After spamming our reviews, we were left as a one star shop. It took months to get rid of the reviews and it led me to a deep depression then. Now it is three years later. And they saw me at a local target, decided to record a video of me and post it in our Yelp. They found me on TikTok and decided to harass me through friends, so I made sure to let them know I still have evidence of the first incident. Now they have posted my social media handles on Yelp as well. I have been getting customers to leave good reviews in case they decide to spam us with bad reviews again, which I don't doubt they will do. Mind this is all over a smoke shop refusing to sell to a minor I'm exhausted over these entitled customers. Jessie Smoke Shop three in Lake Elsinore. Okay, so most of the comments went into legal advice, and I want to touch on those before I give my take. Commenter one writes, and I have to note I did pull this directly from the commenters commented post. so excuse me if I butcher reading this. You should get a lawyer or talk to one and file a lawsuit for slander. They're allowed to put a review up on their services, but you are also allowed to challenge the review and post one and explain in your response to their bad review that the mother was trying to was illegally buy cigarettes for her daughter. Daughter posted. I think what up what I think what the commenter here is trying to say is file a lawsuit for slander, which yes, definitely do. they are allowed to put up their review about the services, but OP is also allowed to challenge the review, especially since it is slanderous and misguided. And also explain in your response to their bad review. That the mother was trying to illegally buy cigarettes for their daughter. I think that's what I get from here. And for comment or two, this. They've advanced to stalking, which is illegal in many places. And given the history with your business, could involve defamation. could involve defamation and felony harassment depending on jurisdiction. Make sure to file a police report as well as make sure any stores they recorded you in no you were unwillingly recorded on their private property, which means the store can potentially be held liable for allowing them to harass another customer. Make sure the store has their picture and knowledge of the history as these people would be a danger to the store's employees and customers if allowed to run ramp-in like this. The best defense is a good defense. And I would like to note anybody listening listening right now, Yes, that was a little hard to read. I like to keep the comments intact and the post as well intact when I record just to keep the flavor of the messaging that they're trying to to get to. And these two comments do have a lot of grammatical errors, so it was a little hard to read. so. Keep that in mind with the visuals and again, I'm sorry, it was really hard to read that part. But Overall, OP has been dealing with this for three years. Three years of harassment, review bombs, being filmed, being followed, being threatened through friends, all because OP told a fourteen year old e which yes, OP mentions that the daughter is now seventeen, so three years ago fourteen. Couldn't buy something that Isn't for kids and is illegal. And the comments on this post went straight to go on the attack. OP doesn't need to escalate. They need some breathing room. Like I'm not giving legal advice. That's that's not my lane. But I do want to say this. Some of the suggestions in the comments it could make things worse. I do agree. That's OP should contest the reviews, especially one star reviews given the evidence that you have. You can definitely do that on Yelp. but the best defense is a good offense. OP is already providing documentation and recordings of all the incidences that have basically Following them around with this duo. And I also do agree with the commenters who say to report a to file a police report because definitely definitely do that. It it doesn't sound like OP has actually done that and they just let this carry on for three years. So Keep a record of what's going on, what you're already doing. It's it's honestly a good practice in life to do anyways. For basic self protection and file a police report. And this is all because a mom isn't able to buy her teenage daughter basically cigarettes, vape or not, something that OP legally wasn't able to do anyways. So I want to touch on on the surface of this, because the story does read like in the title, Customer versus Retailer Story. But it's a bit more than that. It's also a parenting story, or If I may, the absence of one. When Rosehip was about one, one morning, breakfast time, she really wanted my coffee. She screamed her head off for it. She even tried to grab it, and I kept grabbing it back and telling her, no, because it was a hot cup of coffee, and babies should not drink coffee. I even tried to insist on giving her her sippy cup. Filled with milk. She did not want it. She really wanted mommy's coffee. Which developmentally was on par for her. But she did throw a bit of a a fuss about it. And what did I do? I picked her up. She cried. And we moved on. Now she's three, she also still hates being told no, because she's three and she's learning and she's adjusting. She tries again tomorrow. That's what toddlers do. And so it makes the story a bit hard to look at because the child in the story isn't three. She's a teenager, almost adult. She should already know what a boundary is. She should already know what no means. But she doesn't, because nobody ever taught her that. She wanted a vape that her mom willingly gives her. And then Someone finally told them no. And now they're on a three year campaign. To harass this OP and what, other people as well? The daughter is going to be an adult in about a year. And has and no one has taught them. Anything about boundaries? OP, you're twenty-three. You follow the law, and it cost you three years and a depression. I'm sorry about that. But again, like I said, you are keeping things documented and that is good. Filing a report if you haven't done so yet, and it it does sound like you haven't done so yet, is the first step you should definitely do. But just keep doing what you're doing. And you've got redditors on your side, so Hope that does help a little bit. And overall, some stories don't need a fix This one has a young OP who did the right thing and is still getting punished for it. And a teenager who is about to enter adulthood without being taught what a boundary is. Okay. I think it's time to move on to our next leaf. Alright, let's end with something lighter. Still an entitled parent, weirdly enough, but this one is more of a River Day misunderstanding than a three-year campaign. So let's get into our last cup. From our slash entitled parents, OP writes, entitled mother wants the riverside all to herself. We were sat by the local river with some of my friends, all around seventeen to eighteen, and we were talking, drinking, and skipping rocks. Irrelevant, but I got eleven skips. All of a sudden, a mother whose child was playing in the same river comes up screaming at us to stop throwing stone towards the water. Because they're going to hit her child. We were not throwing stones in her child's direction whatsoever. They were further down, and the only rock we accidentally kind of set sideways was still at least three meters away from the kid. After some heated arguing, we agreed to stop skipping rocks, so we just resumed talking. I'm not saying she ruined our day or anything, but who goes to the river expecting to be alone and gets mad when someone else is near her? So the comments for some reason focused on the three meters part saying the three meters was too close, which I disagree with, and I'll explain why. I I do want to focus on this one comment. A commenter one writes, in Mom's Defense and improbable phrase, according to science, I love that catch-all explanation. The way little rocks become big rocks is by absorbing water, and the kids could have been killed by boulders that started out as you're skipping stones. It's all true. I read it on the internet. Now I want to be fair to this mother because I can relate. Not in this not in this exact situation, but I understand that mama bear alertness. That instinct where your brain is constantly scanning, where's my kid? What's happening around them? Is anything a threat? It never fully shuts off. But we also have to be reasonable. And this moment could have been a teaching moment for her child. Let's actually talk about the pic what we're picturing here Skipping rocks are big. They're small, flat pebbles, usually about the size of a large coin. Like a silver dollar or quarter. They're meant to glide across the surface, not a flying projectile. So the thing everyone in the comments were imagining, rocks being hurled at a child. Realistically, OP mentioned that the closest skipping stone that went sideways, mind you, landed at the least nine feet away. Three meters is nine feet. And that was on accident. It it sounds like the mom got nervous, maybe startled, maybe something in her past made her react fast and loud, and for that I can't fault her too much. If fear makes parents do strange things. I can attest to that. One thing that did come to mind when I was reading this post was what if the entitled mother's child also wanted to skip rocks and was upset they couldn't? I've seen that kind of frustration. when a little kid sees an older kid doing something cool and suddenly want to do it too, even if they're not quite ready for it. I mean I have to deal with that a lot with Rose Hip already. But you know what? That's where parenting comes in. You help your kids navigate that feeling. You teach them about boundaries. You explain that sometimes older kids don't want to play with younger kids. And that's okay. It's not a rejection. It's just age and ability differences. So it's possible the mom wasn't reacting to the rocks. She might have been reacting to her child's disappointment or frustration or a tantrum brewing. And instead of guiding her child through that moment, she redirected all of that energy towards the teenagers. Instead, what her child learned that afternoon is that the big kids near the water were dangerous, and that the way you handle strangers is to yell at them first. And honestly, this sentiment seems to apply to all the moms in today's story. How we act becomes the guideline to our kids and how they view and take on the world. Now, one thing I do have to note to OP, because it's the one place he is being a little bit unfair to the to the entitled mother. She didn't ask for the whole river, she just asked them to stop skipping rocks near her kid. And OP ends the post with Who goes around the river expecting to be alone? Which is answering a question she never really asked. Now for the obvious main and title point, an adult came at them yelling. They argued and then they said, Fine, stopped skipping rocks and went back to their afternoon. De escalation by teenagers. And come on, we know a lot of grown adults who still can't really do that. So, OP no, you didn't ruin ruin anyone's day, and you didn't do anything wrong. You're 17, by a river, having a nice day skipping rocks with your friend. That is about as good as a day gets. And I hope you get a few more of those after she left. Now As for the whole eleven skips thing. Who Kudos, dude Next leaf. Alright, that's our last leaf for today. So let's close this pot together. And now for my new favorite treat, pouring back into ourselves. As today is the last part of the month, I wanted to highlight our tea of the month. A vanilla pear white tea. So let tonight be white tea energy. Gentle, low pressure, nothing demanding. You don't have to be productive to be worthy. I also want to highlight this month's charity, one last time. Adopt a classroom.org. They help teachers provide the tools they need to make sure the next generation has what they need to grow and succeed. Link provided below. See the good work they do and how you can help. And if one of these stories made you think of someone, please send it to them. That's honestly how a show like this finds its people. Just a forwarded link that says, Hey, this is us. And I want to hear from you. Not just what you made of these stories, what you made of me, but if you would have landed somewhere differently. Or if I missed something. Again, I am one person with one read, and I'm not always right. I do have a read the comments. Plus It's great way to see what your fellow tea leaves have to say. Who knows? Maybe someone has a take you didn't consider either. And if you haven't done so yet, please subscribe or follow wherever you like to listen. And hit that like button while you're at it. I know everyone says it, but it helps a small show like mine reach the next person who needs it. And of course, everything I mentioned is in the description below. The tea, this month's charity. and timestamp for every story so you can skip anything you'd rather not sit with today or re-listen to ones that resonate with you. Now, that's the pot, my beautiful tea leaves. May your week be patient, grounded, and kinder than today's stories. And I'll see you in the next steep.