Latest / We! / I Feel Like I Can't Move Forward Because I Can't Forgive the People and the World of My Past — The Personal and Spiritual Growth That Helped Me Move Forward, Reinvent My Future, and Live with Purpose, Passion, and Prosperity

Transcript

I Feel Like I Can't Move Forward Because I Can't Forgive the People and the World of My Past — The Personal and Spiritual Growth That Helped Me Move Forward, Reinvent My Future, and Live with Purpose, Passion, and Prosperity · We!

0:01
SPEAKER_00: If you felt lonely, isolated, disconnected, with an empty feeling inside and just yearning for more, knowing something is missing, then this podcast is for you.
0:16
SPEAKER_00: So here's your host, Joe Mittigan.
0:27
SPEAKER_01: Hello, and welcome to We.
0:32
SPEAKER_01: There comes a moment in almost every healing journey when we begin asking ourselves a painful question.
0:41
SPEAKER_01: Why can't I move forward?
0:44
SPEAKER_01: We tell ourselves the past is over.
0:47
SPEAKER_01: We know we should let go.
0:49
SPEAKER_01: We genuinely want to build a new life.
0:52
SPEAKER_01: Yet something inside us keeps pulling us back to the old memories, the old pain, the old disappointments, and the old versions of self.
1:04
SPEAKER_01: For a long time, I believed the answer was I needed to forgive other people.
1:10
SPEAKER_01: And while forgiveness of others is important, I eventually discovered something even more difficult.
1:18
SPEAKER_01: I had never forgiven myself.
1:21
SPEAKER_01: I hadn't forgiven myself for the mistakes I made, for the years I believed I wasn't enough, for the opportunities I missed, for the dreams I abandoned, for allowing the pain of my past to convince me that my future could never be different.
1:40
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes the greatest prison isn't built by the people who hurt us.
1:46
SPEAKER_01: It's built by the story we continue telling ourselves about who we became because of what happened.
1:54
SPEAKER_01: Real freedom begins the moment we stop asking, why did this happen to me?
2:00
SPEAKER_01: And begin asking, who is my higher power helping me become because of what happened?
2:08
SPEAKER_01: Today we're going to explore the kind of forgiveness that quietly transforms everything, not because it changes the past, but because it changes the way we see ourselves.
2:21
SPEAKER_01: When we finally learn to extend grace to our own hearts, something beautiful happens.
2:29
SPEAKER_01: We stop living as the person our pain created, and we begin becoming the person we were created to be.
2:38
SPEAKER_01: My name is Joe Mittig, and this is we, because healing does not happen alone, folks.
2:45
SPEAKER_01: It happens when we remember the we.
2:49
SPEAKER_01: Well, I want to welcome everybody here today.
2:52
SPEAKER_01: And it's just been an amazing week and an amazing summer.
2:56
SPEAKER_01: I've I say it over and over, and I kind of feel like I repeat myself a lot, but I have to say it's true.
3:02
SPEAKER_01: And as I always have committed to you, I'm going to be as open and as honest and as intimate as I possibly can.
3:09
SPEAKER_01: And for newcomers, welcome.
3:11
SPEAKER_01: Welcome to We.
3:12
SPEAKER_01: We is literally exploding around the globe.
3:16
SPEAKER_01: 16 or 17 countries, we're in the top charts all over.
3:20
SPEAKER_01: And why do I keep mentioning that?
3:22
SPEAKER_01: I keep mentioning it because it's important to me.
3:25
SPEAKER_01: It's important because I know that the more the ratings and the rankings of we get higher and higher, that's an absolute reflection that there are people listening and people coming back, and people truly having a difference, making a difference in their life.
3:44
SPEAKER_01: And that is what is important to me.
3:46
SPEAKER_01: That's why I do we.
3:48
SPEAKER_01: I want to be a voice that can be a voice of hope, a beacon of hope in your dark days.
3:55
SPEAKER_01: I want to be a voice that can celebrate the highs with you.
3:58
SPEAKER_01: I want to be a voice that you can earn, learn to trust and open up with.
4:23
SPEAKER_01: Please come back and tell other people because together, you know, we're making a difference.
4:29
SPEAKER_01: We really are.
4:30
SPEAKER_01: And I'm just excited to be here.
4:33
SPEAKER_01: For those of you that have been around for a while, I tell my story quite a bit because I want people to understand that I'm not a doctor, I'm not a researcher, I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm none of those things.
4:45
SPEAKER_01: I'm not a teacher, I'm a guy.
4:47
SPEAKER_01: I'm a guy just like you.
4:49
SPEAKER_01: We are the same.
4:51
SPEAKER_01: And I give myself credit because I've been on a spiritual journey for a long time.
4:56
SPEAKER_01: February the 16th, 1990, was my first therapy session where I learned about the inner child.
5:03
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, you do the math on that.
5:05
SPEAKER_01: That's pre-internet, that's pre-cell phone, that's pre a lot of things in Joe's world.
5:10
SPEAKER_01: And it was when I was still drinking and drugging all the time.
5:14
SPEAKER_01: And it started me on a self-discovery journey that over the years I became pretty practiced with.
5:21
SPEAKER_01: Well, now, 30 some odd years later, 36 years later, here we are.
5:26
SPEAKER_01: And I hope that my experience, strength, and hope can help each one of you, wherever you are, in the highs of the highs and the lows of the lows, and the dark times and the happy times, because you're going to hear my voice in all of those times.
5:42
SPEAKER_01: Those of you that listened to my last podcast on forgiveness, those are hard.
5:47
SPEAKER_01: It's not hard for me to do it.
5:49
SPEAKER_01: I have to tell you, I'm an emotional person, anyways.
5:52
SPEAKER_01: And but I think about it, I wonder like, what must it be like for people to hear that kind of message and that kind of honesty and that kind of deep, intimate pain.
6:04
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, quite honestly, I get a lot of replies.
6:07
SPEAKER_01: I do.
6:08
SPEAKER_01: And I am happy to say that some people are really surprised, some people are really relieved, some people can't listen to it, some people turn it off, most people come back.
6:20
SPEAKER_01: And that's what I'm happy about.
6:22
SPEAKER_01: That's why I'm here.
6:23
SPEAKER_01: And I can tell you that my world, the seven years of darkness that I lived after my severe memories, I think about it all the time.
6:33
SPEAKER_01: I remember back in those days, all I wanted to do was stop hurting.
6:37
SPEAKER_01: I would gauge the okayness of my day relative to being able to lift my elbows off the bat.
6:43
SPEAKER_01: If I could lift my elbows off, I was going to be okay that day, at least I thought.
6:48
SPEAKER_01: Well, that was seven years a long time.
6:49
SPEAKER_01: It really is.
6:51
SPEAKER_01: And now, every time I think about if my story can help one person, like literally just one person, then all seven years was worth it.
7:02
SPEAKER_01: It's worth every second.
7:03
SPEAKER_01: Now, of course, that's easy to say after the fact, right?
7:05
SPEAKER_01: Because I'm sharing from a place of overflow, I am.
7:08
SPEAKER_01: But I really do mean it.
7:10
SPEAKER_01: Now, the great news is more than one of you.
7:14
SPEAKER_01: And together, why this is such a wonderful journey for me.
7:18
SPEAKER_01: And I'm going to tell this story a little bit later in the podcast of what happened for me in September of 2022.
7:26
SPEAKER_01: But for years and years, three decades, literally, I really thought, I knew I wasn't the only one on a spiritual journey.
7:32
SPEAKER_01: Of course not, you know, who's Joe?
7:35
SPEAKER_01: I'm not that special, but I had never come across anybody else that had.
7:39
SPEAKER_01: I'm going to tell that story later on in this particular podcast because it's important.
7:45
SPEAKER_01: I know a lot of you are in a world right now where you've been on a journey, emotional, spiritual, mental, physical, whatever it is.
7:55
SPEAKER_01: And the people around you don't understand.
7:59
SPEAKER_01: The people at your church probably don't understand.
8:03
SPEAKER_01: You know, your family members, it might be a spouse.
8:07
SPEAKER_01: And I get it.
8:08
SPEAKER_01: I really, really do.
8:10
SPEAKER_01: Not easy.
8:11
SPEAKER_01: And you're at the right place.
8:15
SPEAKER_01: The We Podcast is here, originally designed to honor and to support the people that define themselves on a spiritual journey.
8:24
SPEAKER_01: I heard a Gallup poll saying 67 or 70% of the United States, people in the United States consider themselves on a spiritual journey versus religious.
8:34
SPEAKER_01: And does that make either one right or wrong?
8:37
SPEAKER_01: No, it's just a reflection of how humanity is waking up.
8:41
SPEAKER_01: And humanity is deeply waking up to the feminine side of herself.
8:45
SPEAKER_01: And I'm going to talk about that in more length too.
8:48
SPEAKER_01: Well, the topics of forgiveness, like I said in my last podcast, forgiveness is not an easy thing.
8:55
SPEAKER_01: Forgiveness, especially from humanity's perspective, where so many people of the past have cloaked it as if forgiveness is an action step, should be able to flip a switch and turn it on, turn it off, should be able to move forward.
9:10
SPEAKER_01: And like I said in my last podcast, I hope if you got nothing else out of the last podcast, that you realized when you can't forgive, no, you're okay.
9:23
SPEAKER_01: No, you're okay.
9:24
SPEAKER_01: And I want you to use the I can't forgive somebody of an issue that happened in the past, not as a two by four to beat yourself across the head with because you believe there's something wrong with you, but as a red flag to identify that there's a part of you hurting still inside.
9:44
SPEAKER_01: We are multidimensional beings.
9:46
SPEAKER_01: There's a human self, a higher self, an inner self.
9:49
SPEAKER_01: And that inner self is the emotional sense of you.
9:53
SPEAKER_01: And that inner self has multiple ages.
9:57
SPEAKER_01: We most of us grew up in an era of time where the whole idea of emotional validity and support and feeling your feelings and safe environments and all that, it didn't exist.
10:09
SPEAKER_01: It just didn't exist.
10:11
SPEAKER_01: Now, were our parents or anybody in the past trying to hurt us?
10:15
SPEAKER_01: No, they weren't.
10:16
SPEAKER_01: And were we hurt because of the unconscious environment?
10:21
SPEAKER_01: Yes, emotionally, we were not nurtured.
10:25
SPEAKER_01: Most of us, 99%.
10:28
SPEAKER_01: And from that place of non-nurturing, that's where hurt is created.
10:32
SPEAKER_01: That's where abandonment issues are created.
10:34
SPEAKER_01: That's where neglect issues are created, let alone people that were in severe cases.
10:41
SPEAKER_01: Most weren't.
10:42
SPEAKER_01: I was, some people a lot more than me.
10:46
SPEAKER_01: I shared that the my perpetrator of years ago, he was in an environment as a little boy that was systematically tormented, tortured his entire young life.
10:58
SPEAKER_01: And his entire adult life, he was a heroin addict.
11:02
SPEAKER_01: Literally, back when heroin was liquid, and you put needles in your arm and died on the side of a mountain.
11:08
SPEAKER_01: Very sad, a very sad life.
11:11
SPEAKER_01: And he's the extreme.
11:29
SPEAKER_01: It happens, it happens to a lot of people, but most of you know.
11:33
SPEAKER_01: And does that mean that the abandonment and neglect issues you went through in the past are any less severe, less painful?
11:41
SPEAKER_01: No, they're real life things.
11:44
SPEAKER_01: And what happens though is that for most of us, we're able to kind of just move through life anyway.
11:51
SPEAKER_01: We are.
11:52
SPEAKER_01: And there isn't any one major issue that like stops you, and you can't move forward and you become a drug addict because of it.
12:01
SPEAKER_01: Most people do not live there.
12:03
SPEAKER_01: And though, most of us do have a couple, two or three things.
12:08
SPEAKER_01: I gave three different examples.
12:10
SPEAKER_01: My father is what started my conscious expression of anger release.
12:14
SPEAKER_01: The death of my grandmother helped me start the conscious release of emotion.
12:21
SPEAKER_01: And when I started hearing the depths of my little kid and the pain that he was in because of my abuse is where I literally was able to embrace and experience the depths of powerlessness that was causing me deep pain.
12:36
SPEAKER_01: It was.
12:37
SPEAKER_01: And that inner sense of something wrong with me or I've done something wrong, toxic guilt and toxic shame, guilt, I've done something wrong.
12:47
SPEAKER_01: Shame, there's something wrong with me.
12:50
SPEAKER_01: If it's something that's just kind of fleeting, no big deal, we deal with it in a gentle way.
12:56
SPEAKER_01: But if it's toxic, in other words, it plagues you, you feel it all the time.
13:01
SPEAKER_01: Get some help.
13:02
SPEAKER_01: Literally get some help.
13:04
SPEAKER_01: I am super excited to say that Dr.
13:07
SPEAKER_01: Karin Louise has agreed.
13:09
SPEAKER_01: I had a nice conversation with her today.
13:12
SPEAKER_01: She's my first contributor here in the We Voices.
13:16
SPEAKER_01: She is an amazing woman.
13:18
SPEAKER_01: Dr.
13:19
SPEAKER_01: Karin Louise, C-A-R-I-N.
13:24
SPEAKER_01: And I'll have all her stuff up.
13:26
SPEAKER_01: I'll have her in my description over time.
13:29
SPEAKER_01: And she literally, over time, is going to have her own podcast.
13:32
SPEAKER_01: She's got books, she's got all sorts of things.
13:34
SPEAKER_01: And why do I say that?
13:36
SPEAKER_01: Because the We podcast is really an awareness podcast.
13:40
SPEAKER_01: I tell people all the time my experience, strength, and hope.
13:43
SPEAKER_01: And I say, get help, get help, get help.
13:45
SPEAKER_01: But I haven't been able to say, go to this website and get help.
13:50
SPEAKER_01: That's what I'm building now, folks.
13:52
SPEAKER_01: The full circle, the full gamut of support.
13:56
SPEAKER_01: I've got two other people I'm hoping to talk to this next week or so.
14:01
SPEAKER_01: I'll probably have six or seven total.
14:03
SPEAKER_01: So that people that when I say get help, I can give you a name.
14:08
SPEAKER_01: I can give you an email address.
14:10
SPEAKER_01: I can give you a website where when you listen to their stuff, it's an ongoing event.
14:16
SPEAKER_01: It's an ongoing support event.
14:18
SPEAKER_01: Where the We podcast, I give you techniques and I'll repeat the techniques, but you know, sometimes you need more.
14:25
SPEAKER_01: And that's what the voices of we is all about.
14:28
SPEAKER_01: Over time, we're going to be adding a third episode to the weekly regime.
14:33
SPEAKER_01: And that third episode is going to be interviews.
14:36
SPEAKER_01: We're going to have people share the depths of their experience, strength, and hope.
14:39
SPEAKER_01: And I've got some really cool people that are going to be on it.
14:43
SPEAKER_01: I'm not saying we won't have big name celebrity types of people on here, but not to come on here and tell you what to do.
14:50
SPEAKER_01: A lot of podcasts out there, they're extremely informational.
14:53
SPEAKER_01: There's some of them.
14:54
SPEAKER_01: I enjoy the information.
14:56
SPEAKER_01: That isn't this.
14:57
SPEAKER_01: We are now there are some people out there.
15:00
SPEAKER_01: I've heard some different, you'll know their names, the multi-million dollar movie star people out there that I'm so proud of because they've reached places of pain and angst and depths.
15:11
SPEAKER_01: And one gentleman, again, I won't mention names until I get them on the show, where he just said, you know what?
15:17
SPEAKER_01: My pain was based on my alcoholism.
15:21
SPEAKER_01: I needed to endure a level of pain so that I could get on the other side of alcoholism.
15:28
SPEAKER_01: I would love to have that gentleman on the show on the show.
15:31
SPEAKER_01: Different people.
15:32
SPEAKER_01: One gentleman lived in a car for three years.
15:34
SPEAKER_01: Now he's a celebrity you would know his name.
15:37
SPEAKER_01: Big musicians.
15:38
SPEAKER_01: I will have people like that on here because I think it's important to hear stories of difficulty, what they did on their Tuesday mornings, and then come out and build a massive organization, a massive business, a massive influential experience.
15:55
SPEAKER_01: And in addition to that, I'm going to have people just like us, normal folks, people that, you know, grandmas that make it, and dads that make it, and people that have had to tell their kids you can't come home, you're hooked on heroin, get your help.
16:09
SPEAKER_01: And I'm going to have all sorts of stories.
16:11
SPEAKER_01: That's going to be the interview process.
16:13
SPEAKER_01: Well, today, what this particular podcast is about is the whole idea of forgiveness, but not the forgiveness of others, the forgiveness of self, the forgiveness of ourself.
16:27
SPEAKER_01: And that is one of those things to where I didn't even know that was a thing, to be honest with you.
16:32
SPEAKER_01: I never thought about it.
16:33
SPEAKER_01: To be, I just didn't.
16:35
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, it was one of those experiences that I learned it because as I started getting sober and my life started changing, and I was making some pretty consistent money, and things seemed better.
16:50
SPEAKER_01: I looked in my external and they were better, but there was still this gnawing sense of something wrong.
16:57
SPEAKER_01: There was a gnawing sense that I couldn't get a hold of it.
17:01
SPEAKER_01: I just couldn't.
17:02
SPEAKER_01: And I didn't really know what it was.
17:04
SPEAKER_01: I would look around, and it used to be, well, I don't have enough money.
17:07
SPEAKER_01: Well, I got plenty of money.
17:08
SPEAKER_01: Then it'd be, I well, I hate my job.
17:10
SPEAKER_01: Well, no, I like my job.
17:11
SPEAKER_01: Well, then I kind of liked anything and everything, but there was just that internal angst.
17:17
SPEAKER_01: I don't know what else to call it.
17:19
SPEAKER_01: And that's where guilt and shame, not toxic, but just the gnawing rub.
17:23
SPEAKER_01: That's where I'm going to walk through techniques today to help heal that and then live on the other side.
17:31
SPEAKER_01: Because the truth, what we're really trying to do, why are we doing all of this, quite honestly?
17:38
SPEAKER_01: We're doing it because we want to live a purposeful, passionate, prosperous life, right?
17:46
SPEAKER_01: That's why we're doing it.
17:48
SPEAKER_01: Now, you can have all the money in the world that has nothing to do with abundance.
17:52
SPEAKER_01: You can have a million friends, that has nothing to do with connection.
17:56
SPEAKER_01: You can travel the world, that has nothing to do with serenity.
17:59
SPEAKER_01: Nothing.
18:00
SPEAKER_01: Nada.
18:01
SPEAKER_01: Why?
18:01
SPEAKER_01: Because those experiences are inside.
18:04
SPEAKER_01: So the We Podcast is a self-discovery, emotional growth, emotional healing podcast, because I want to give you the techniques to where you can feel deeply okay no matter where you go.
18:20
SPEAKER_01: And I say that because for the majority of us, we're not going to have the millions of dollars to travel the globe.
18:29
SPEAKER_01: Joe will never have the millions of dollars to travel the globe.
18:32
SPEAKER_01: I just won't.
18:34
SPEAKER_01: Most of you won't.
18:36
SPEAKER_01: And does that mean you can't have a deeply prosperous life?
18:41
SPEAKER_01: No, you can't.
18:43
SPEAKER_01: I have an amazing life now.
18:46
SPEAKER_01: Every time I go out of my back deck, all I have to do is close my eyes.
18:49
SPEAKER_01: I can imagine myself anywhere.
18:50
SPEAKER_01: And it literally feels like wherever I decide I am.
18:53
SPEAKER_01: I literally feel like I'm on vacation every time I go out of my back deck.
18:58
SPEAKER_01: And that's a sense of prosperity.
19:00
SPEAKER_01: That's a sense of inner peace.
19:02
SPEAKER_01: That's a living of the serenity.
19:05
SPEAKER_01: And that's also why I'm able to do such massive quantities of silence.
19:11
SPEAKER_01: And I've been asking along the way, and I'm going to start on a weekly basis, asking people.
19:17
SPEAKER_01: So if you're listening here and you've listened to my other podcast, I've asked people, because I'm now, you know, I'm working a puzzle.
19:24
SPEAKER_01: I was guided for people that are new.
19:26
SPEAKER_01: I was guided to go back into silence and I resisted.
19:29
SPEAKER_01: I rarely exist.
19:31
SPEAKER_01: I rarely resist a higher power guidance.
19:34
SPEAKER_01: But I was like, no, dear God, please don't send me back into silence.
19:40
SPEAKER_01: I lived it for years.
19:43
SPEAKER_01: I my defining, my human interpretation of what my higher power was saying was isolation.
19:51
SPEAKER_01: No, my higher power is saying, take the freaking headphones off every once in a while, Joe.
19:56
SPEAKER_01: And so I did.
19:58
SPEAKER_01: And my life here, my oldest son, as as most of you know, has his own apartment now.
20:04
SPEAKER_01: He's a college athlete.
20:06
SPEAKER_01: I'm getting ready to travel and watch him play baseball.
20:09
SPEAKER_01: My youngest son moved out.
20:11
SPEAKER_01: I live in 4191.
20:13
SPEAKER_01: He lives in 4191A.
20:15
SPEAKER_01: He made an entire apartment down in my basement.
20:18
SPEAKER_01: I see him, but not a whole lot.
20:22
SPEAKER_01: So my house is quiet.
20:24
SPEAKER_01: I don't own a TV and I don't have a radio, that type of stuff.
20:28
SPEAKER_01: So I'm in silence most of the time.
20:29
SPEAKER_01: And I say to people all the time, if I can do six hours of silence or eight or 10, you can do 15 minutes.
20:37
SPEAKER_01: You can.
20:38
SPEAKER_01: And why is silence such an important thing?
20:42
SPEAKER_01: Just like Brian Tracy said, an old video I watched, when you're in silence, meaning no external stimuli, no radios, no cell phones, no texting, no one talking, you with you.
20:59
SPEAKER_01: If you get practiced at doing it long enough, you will start hearing a deeper, more silent, more quiet voice.
21:09
SPEAKER_01: And that deeper, quiet voice is a power grander than yourself.
21:14
SPEAKER_01: It's a guidance system beyond your ego, beyond your arrogance, beyond your self-centeredness.
21:23
SPEAKER_01: And that quiet voice, you don't even know it's there for most people if you don't take the time to sit silent enough so that you can start hearing it.
21:36
SPEAKER_01: And that's where I'm going to continue to ask.
21:39
SPEAKER_01: Have you started?
21:39
SPEAKER_01: I hope you did.
21:40
SPEAKER_01: I asked it on a podcast a couple weeks ago.
21:42
SPEAKER_01: I said, you know, let today be the day.
21:44
SPEAKER_01: Let that day be the day.
21:46
SPEAKER_01: So hopefully there's people on this podcast that would say right now, you're listening to this, say, Yep, Joe, I did it.
21:51
SPEAKER_01: And I've I started with 30 seconds, and now I'm up to five minutes.
21:55
SPEAKER_01: And the goal is to be to 25 minutes in three months.
21:59
SPEAKER_01: The issue.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: The issue isn't the quantity.
22:01
SPEAKER_01: The issue is the consistency.
22:03
SPEAKER_01: And I don't, you know, it's hard, first off.
22:05
SPEAKER_01: It's not easy, especially when you're not practiced.
22:08
SPEAKER_01: So start with a minute.
22:09
SPEAKER_01: And then start to two.
22:11
SPEAKER_01: The key is to make sure you write down on a list to remind yourself to do it consistently over time.
22:19
SPEAKER_01: Because the more you do anything, the better you get, and the better you get, the more you do it, the more you do it, the better you get.
22:24
SPEAKER_01: And then eventually you'll be seeking that silence.
22:27
SPEAKER_01: You'll be seeking and craving the silence because there's such a sense of peace.
22:32
SPEAKER_01: And I'm not saying you're not going to hear the voices.
22:34
SPEAKER_01: You're probably still going to hear your voices, but you can more observe the voices than listen to the voices, the crazy ones.
22:42
SPEAKER_01: And if you want to, write them down.
22:44
SPEAKER_01: But this is more a practice of getting into an environment to be able to hear the deeper part of yourselves.
22:52
SPEAKER_01: It's really a powerful exercise.
22:53
SPEAKER_01: I hope you do it.
22:54
SPEAKER_01: I hope you start working in that way.
22:57
SPEAKER_01: And men, remember what I said in the last episode?
23:01
SPEAKER_01: I see issue after issue.
23:04
SPEAKER_01: I see the world is waking up to how angry a lot of men are, how hard a lot of men are, how self-centered a lot of men are.
23:14
SPEAKER_01: And I'm seeing different types of reels every once in a while.
23:18
SPEAKER_01: And a bunch of people doing a bunch of bitching about how men are so unconscious, but not very many people are telling men what to do.
23:25
SPEAKER_01: Well, the last podcast, I'm asking you if you're a man and a woman.
23:31
SPEAKER_01: I mean, this is not gender specific, but I like I say, I can't, I'm a man, so it's hard for me to really talk specifically as much about women's behaviors because I can tell you, women do a lot of things very different, much easier in a lot of ways, the emotional side than men.
23:49
SPEAKER_01: But this my last podcast, I was like, you know what?
23:52
SPEAKER_01: Start 15 minutes a week beating the bed, getting your anger out.
23:59
SPEAKER_01: I said, you know, fellas, let's have a let's have uh an anger party.
24:03
SPEAKER_01: You and your buddies get together, have a bottle of beer, bring pictures of people that you're pissed off at this week, and instead of screaming at your wife, take a bat, a plastic bat, pictures, and be to bed.
24:15
SPEAKER_01: I gave the example last week.
24:16
SPEAKER_01: I was like, you know what?
24:18
SPEAKER_01: How about on Saturdays when you go to watch the football game with your buddies?
24:22
SPEAKER_01: They don't give a shit what you're doing in the bedroom.
24:24
SPEAKER_01: They're drinking beer and watching the football game.
24:26
SPEAKER_01: Take 15 minutes.
24:28
SPEAKER_01: Take a picture of someone you don't like, or somebody you're mad at, or somebody you're frustrated with, and get a bat and start beating the bed on that picture.
24:37
SPEAKER_01: Start 15 minutes and then get some headphones, find a song that tweaks your heart, and sit in the tweak of your heart.
24:49
SPEAKER_01: It's time to move to the next place.
24:54
SPEAKER_01: It's time to move into and learn how to, instead of push down and push away and act as if not there.
25:05
SPEAKER_01: It's time that we as a humanity and consciousness as a whole learn how to get emotions out in a healthy way.
25:15
SPEAKER_01: I say it all the time.
25:17
SPEAKER_01: If Joe can go months and months and months and months, I needed gloves because the rage was so hard.
25:25
SPEAKER_01: I lived 50 miles from nowhere.
25:27
SPEAKER_01: At the night, I was around three miles of business district.
25:32
SPEAKER_01: If I can do months and months and months of rage, there's not a person listening to my voice right now that can't do get rage out 15 minutes once a week.
25:43
SPEAKER_01: 15 minutes once a week.
25:45
SPEAKER_01: And then find some headphones, find a song you like, kind of a sad one, kind of whatever, something.
25:51
SPEAKER_01: When I say tweak your heart, you know what I'm talking about.
25:54
SPEAKER_01: Most people say, well, that that song's too sad.
25:56
SPEAKER_01: Let's click it off.
25:58
SPEAKER_01: No.
25:59
SPEAKER_01: When you come across a song that's sad, have pray for the courage to sit in your sadness for five minutes.
26:07
SPEAKER_01: Start there.
26:08
SPEAKER_01: 15 minutes of anger, five minutes of grief.
26:11
SPEAKER_01: I promise you, your entire life will change.
26:14
SPEAKER_01: And if I can do it, you can do it.
26:17
SPEAKER_01: Why do we have to forgive ourselves?
26:20
SPEAKER_01: Why?
26:21
SPEAKER_01: Like, why do we want to?
26:23
SPEAKER_01: Why do we have to?
26:25
SPEAKER_01: Well, the reason we have to is because, and the reason we want to is because the toxic feeling of something wrong, the toxic feeling like I've done something wrong, the toxic feeling of I just can't feel satisfied or satiated or that there's a scratch I can't itch.
26:42
SPEAKER_01: That a lot of that is remorse.
26:46
SPEAKER_01: And a lot of that is remorse because of our own behaviors.
26:50
SPEAKER_01: And for those of you that are on a conscious path, which I'm kind of guessing 99% of anyone that can make it 26 minutes into one of Joe's We podcasts, you're on a conscious path.
27:02
SPEAKER_01: And what does a conscious path mean?
27:04
SPEAKER_01: It means that on a Tuesday you have a particular belief system about something, and on Wednesday you wake up and say, Oh my God, I see that exact same thing differently now.
27:13
SPEAKER_01: Awakenings, spiritual awakenings.
27:16
SPEAKER_01: You have aha moments, you have shifts, you have that conscious shift.
27:22
SPEAKER_01: Well, for most of you, a lot of you, you've been doing that for years.
27:26
SPEAKER_01: My first conscious thought was over 30 years ago, literally.
27:31
SPEAKER_01: I make fun about it because my first conscious thought was about drinking.
27:36
SPEAKER_01: And I remember as after my second DUI.
27:40
SPEAKER_01: And I said, Oh my gosh, the police aren't trying to get me to stop driving.
27:47
SPEAKER_01: They're trying to get me to stop drinking and driving.
27:51
SPEAKER_01: That was an awareness.
27:52
SPEAKER_01: I'd never had that thought before.
27:56
SPEAKER_01: Stop drinking and driving ever.
27:59
SPEAKER_01: I just always drank and drove.
28:00
SPEAKER_01: Always.
28:01
SPEAKER_01: Well, that awareness, that's no, that's a conscious shift.
28:04
SPEAKER_01: That's a conscious awareness.
28:05
SPEAKER_01: Now, of course, the wisdom of the day was okay, I'll stop drinking and driving.
28:09
SPEAKER_01: I just started smoking marijuana more.
28:11
SPEAKER_01: That's when I became a daily marijuana smoker.
28:14
SPEAKER_01: I'm not suggesting that, but I'm giving the example of awareness, conscious awareness.
28:20
SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna ask you in your own kind of sacred time, in your own journaling, when was your when and what was your first conscious thought?
28:30
SPEAKER_01: When was it?
28:32
SPEAKER_01: Think about it.
28:33
SPEAKER_01: Like go back in your memory banks and try to put a context to it.
28:37
SPEAKER_01: And why do I say that?
28:39
SPEAKER_01: Because one of the way you ways you build esteem of the you're becoming is to really identify that you have already become truly.
28:49
SPEAKER_01: And a great way to do it is remember the first conscious thought.
28:55
SPEAKER_01: And why do I say that?
28:56
SPEAKER_01: Because prior to conscious thought, we're living unconsciously.
29:02
SPEAKER_01: Unconscious people don't know they can hear their own thoughts.
29:08
SPEAKER_01: We all know people, most people, by the way, that are unconscious.
29:14
SPEAKER_01: They do not know they can hear their own thoughts.
29:18
SPEAKER_01: Now, does that make them wrong?
29:20
SPEAKER_01: No, just makes them.
29:22
SPEAKER_01: Does that make them bad or not good or slow?
29:28
SPEAKER_01: No.
29:29
SPEAKER_01: Just means their spiritual path is where their spiritual path is.
29:32
SPEAKER_01: Now, of course, the challenge is if you're the one person in your entire community that has conscious thought and nobody else around you does, that can be hard.
29:40
SPEAKER_01: I get it.
29:40
SPEAKER_01: It really is.
29:42
SPEAKER_01: And that's shifting a little bit.
29:45
SPEAKER_01: But for myself, that's where my story here later, I was 30 years, literally almost 30 years, before I came across another person who is more spiritually connected to me.
29:57
SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna tell that story here at the end.
30:00
SPEAKER_01: So it's in our unconscious thoughts.
30:04
SPEAKER_01: We don't have a sense of self-esteem.
30:07
SPEAKER_01: We don't have a sense of self-worth.
30:09
SPEAKER_01: We don't have a sense of taking action steps to honor self.
30:13
SPEAKER_01: So in that behavior of unconsciousness, we're more living in a reactionary pattern of what I call addiction satiation.
30:22
SPEAKER_01: Literally, most people wake up and every action step they take externally is to satiate some type of internal desire.
30:33
SPEAKER_01: Is that a bad thing?
30:34
SPEAKER_01: No.
30:35
SPEAKER_01: Does it cause other people harm?
30:38
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes.
30:39
SPEAKER_01: Does it cause us harm?
30:40
SPEAKER_01: Yes, all the time.
30:42
SPEAKER_01: That's where our unconscious behaviors, we don't even know that we don't even know that our behaviors are causing us harm.
30:50
SPEAKER_01: And from an unconscious state, we're kind of disconnected from our personal sense of worth, our personal sense of esteem, that that value we call us.
31:02
SPEAKER_01: So the majority of our behavior patterns, the emotional component of the behavior pattern is fear-based.
31:09
SPEAKER_01: Two major fears: fear of not getting what you want and fear of losing what you have.
31:15
SPEAKER_01: Literally.
31:16
SPEAKER_01: Think about that for a second.
31:19
SPEAKER_01: Two major fears that dictate tremendous quantities of external action steps, especially in unconscious people.
31:27
SPEAKER_01: Fear of not getting what you want and fear of losing what you have.
31:33
SPEAKER_01: And from a relationship position, what is the codependent position of a relationship?
31:39
SPEAKER_01: A codependent position in a relationship is somebody or something outside of me, it's their responsibility to make me happy.
31:49
SPEAKER_01: It's your job to make me happy.
31:51
SPEAKER_01: So they're in a relationship, being a good girl or a good boy, or trying to please, or trying to do this, or trying to do that, because they need somebody else to make them happy.
32:02
SPEAKER_01: That's what codependence is.
32:04
SPEAKER_01: And a lot of times where that codependent then turns into the narcissist is they literally believe it's their job then, because they have the belief, well, they're it's somebody else's responsibility to make me happy.
32:19
SPEAKER_01: So I have to take responsibility to make them happy.
32:22
SPEAKER_01: That's where I call those people just control freaks.
32:26
SPEAKER_01: Why?
32:27
SPEAKER_01: Because they literally live in the unconscious delusion that they're somebody else's God, and they believe they know what's best for somebody else.
32:36
SPEAKER_01: Now, I say that sarcastically for a reason, right?
32:39
SPEAKER_01: To make a point.
32:41
SPEAKER_01: Do people consciously know that?
32:43
SPEAKER_01: No, they don't.
32:45
SPEAKER_01: But do most people do it?
32:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they do.
32:48
SPEAKER_01: What's the other side of the codependent relationship?
32:50
SPEAKER_01: It's the addict position, it's the narcissist position.
32:54
SPEAKER_01: And the narcissist basically says, I'm here to make sure I'm here.
32:58
SPEAKER_01: And it's everybody else's job to make sure I'm happy because the world revolves around me.
33:03
SPEAKER_01: And if I'm happy, I'm good.
33:05
SPEAKER_01: And it's your job to make sure I'm good.
33:07
SPEAKER_01: Narcissist.
33:08
SPEAKER_01: That's why when the alcoholic drinks, alcoholics are come more from that narcissistic position.
33:17
SPEAKER_01: That's why nobody likes a drunk alcoholic because they're not nice.
33:21
SPEAKER_01: Most of them are just, I'm trying not to cuss all the time, but this would be one of those places I really need to cuss because a drunk alcoholic is just a not nice person.
33:32
SPEAKER_01: They will literally blame every other human for their own destruction.
33:37
SPEAKER_01: It's everybody else's fault.
33:39
SPEAKER_01: They're destructing narcissism, right?
33:44
SPEAKER_01: And so you have marriage made in heaven when you got a narcissist that says it's your fault, and you've got a codependent that says, Yeah, you're right, it's my fault.
33:54
SPEAKER_01: So they call that love.
33:55
SPEAKER_01: You fill my void, I'll fill yours.
33:58
SPEAKER_01: We come together, we call that love.
34:00
SPEAKER_01: Well, I can tell you, as I support people a lot, I've got different couples that I support.
34:06
SPEAKER_01: And there's this one couple out of Illinois that I've been working with, and the woman's an alcoholic.
34:12
SPEAKER_01: It's bizarre because I'm more accustomed to men being alcoholic than women, to be honest.
34:16
SPEAKER_01: Of course, that was just my world.
34:18
SPEAKER_01: And lo and behold, as far as she's concerned, it's the husband's fault all the time.
34:23
SPEAKER_01: And it doesn't matter what he does, he can't make her happy.
34:26
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, yeah, no kidding.
34:27
SPEAKER_01: She's not happy.
34:28
SPEAKER_01: Can you not see her not happy?
34:30
SPEAKER_01: She's not happy.
34:31
SPEAKER_01: But I know, Joe, but I have to.
34:32
SPEAKER_01: I said, No, you don't.
34:33
SPEAKER_01: No, but Joe, you don't understand I'm obligated to.
34:36
SPEAKER_01: I said, No, you're not.
34:37
SPEAKER_01: And interestingly enough, this particular, and I told a story about a couple out of Connecticut, which I'll update that story.
34:43
SPEAKER_01: They're making it.
34:44
SPEAKER_01: He hasn't gotten back into a program yet, but they're making it.
34:48
SPEAKER_01: They really are.
34:48
SPEAKER_01: And that's a great story.
34:50
SPEAKER_01: But back to this couple, I was like, he's literally thinking that the whole issue of their marriage is her drinking.
35:00
SPEAKER_01: I'm like Larry, which is not his name, but I call him Larry.
35:03
SPEAKER_01: Larry, you're the one that enables her.
35:07
SPEAKER_01: I know, Joe, but I don't want her driving drunk.
35:10
SPEAKER_01: I so Larry, I get it, but you're buying her the alcohol.
35:15
SPEAKER_01: I know, but Joe, if she I said, but Larry, you're the one buying it.
35:20
SPEAKER_01: And sure enough, not long ago, they got in this little spit and this little spat, and she's trying to get sober.
35:26
SPEAKER_01: And I said, You have to stop.
35:29
SPEAKER_01: You have to sit on your couch.
35:32
SPEAKER_01: And sure as hell, he was able to do it.
35:34
SPEAKER_01: And he you should have seen, you should have heard his voice.
35:40
SPEAKER_01: Over time, he could hear a little kid in him who was so sad and so upset and so abandoned by his own mom, literally, that he kept thinking if he's a good boy, then mommy will love him, which was a behavior that he learned 50 years before.
36:06
SPEAKER_01: Good boy.
36:07
SPEAKER_01: So he took that good boy behavior into his marriage.
36:12
SPEAKER_01: So he's being a good boy buying his wife alcohol.
36:17
SPEAKER_01: Lo and behold, when he stopped buying, she stopped drinking.
36:21
SPEAKER_01: When he stopped buying and sat on his couch, then he had to feel the depths of abandonment of a lifetime of a child.
36:30
SPEAKER_01: And why do I say all that?
36:32
SPEAKER_01: Because over time, what we see, what we start identifying, is our behaviors.
36:39
SPEAKER_01: Every time he bought alcohol for his wife, he was abandoning himself.
36:46
SPEAKER_01: Hear me.
36:48
SPEAKER_01: Every time he believed he was being loving by buying her alcohol or taking care of her or doing something, every time he felt an angst and he believed the angst was hers, it was actually his.
37:03
SPEAKER_01: The angst is his pain.
37:06
SPEAKER_01: And that's what I told him.
37:07
SPEAKER_01: You have to sit on your couch.
37:09
SPEAKER_01: She's a grown woman, she's 45 years old, she's got sisters, she's got a family, she's got friends.
37:17
SPEAKER_01: They will take care of her.
37:19
SPEAKER_01: You have to feel your feelings.
37:22
SPEAKER_01: Finally, he did.
37:24
SPEAKER_01: Not easy, because he thought for sure he was being loving, where in reality he was being codependent with the wife and abandoning himself.
37:35
SPEAKER_01: Well, I could give you hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of examples of how our behaviors cause us to abandon us.
37:45
SPEAKER_01: We do it all the time in the unconscious world.
37:50
SPEAKER_01: Well, how do we heal it?
37:54
SPEAKER_01: Like, how do we get to the point to where we can see it?
37:57
SPEAKER_01: And I can tell you, it is much, much, much easier to heal and make amends to yourself when you start making amends to the people who you crossed the boundary of.
38:13
SPEAKER_01: Hear me.
38:14
SPEAKER_01: And don't click off.
38:16
SPEAKER_01: Make sure you subscribe.
38:17
SPEAKER_01: Don't click off because it's time.
38:20
SPEAKER_01: It's time.
38:20
SPEAKER_01: You know, we always write the list of the voices in our head and the shame-based and the guilt voice.
38:26
SPEAKER_01: Write the voices down.
38:27
SPEAKER_01: Well, this one we're gonna write, but we're not gonna write the voices down.
38:31
SPEAKER_01: We're gonna write the behaviors we did because of the voices.
38:36
SPEAKER_01: When I did my first eighth step, let's call it an eighth step in the program.
38:40
SPEAKER_01: When I did my first eighth step, I literally wrote down the name.
38:45
SPEAKER_01: And you know, I had people working with me, sponsoring working with me.
38:49
SPEAKER_01: And the whole idea was write down every person in your past, in your unconscious past, past, right?
38:58
SPEAKER_01: That you crossed a boundary, that you lied to, you stole from, you cheated on, you weren't nice to, whatever.
39:05
SPEAKER_01: Write down a list of everybody that you did that to, and write it down on a piece of paper.
39:11
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Yeah, what did I do?
39:14
SPEAKER_01: I did nothing.
39:14
SPEAKER_01: You know, I didn't hurt anybody.
39:17
SPEAKER_01: Now, of course, my definition of hurting somebody was you know, beating the crap out of them or something.
39:22
SPEAKER_01: And lo and behold, literally, what I realized is that every every literally every human being that came within three feet of me my entire life, somehow, somehow I had crossed the boundary, all except one person, my cousin Mike.
39:39
SPEAKER_01: And I kept looking.
39:40
SPEAKER_01: I said, I had to have done something to him.
39:42
SPEAKER_01: I never could find that one.
39:44
SPEAKER_01: But literally every person, my parents, my girlfriends, my sisters, everybody.
39:51
SPEAKER_01: And, you know, for example, and this is a lifetime list, and this isn't something you just go poofo when you do, but it's time to start thinking this way.
40:02
SPEAKER_01: Why?
40:03
SPEAKER_01: Because your inner something's wrong.
40:06
SPEAKER_01: There's inner something's wrong with me.
40:09
SPEAKER_01: I did something wrong.
40:10
SPEAKER_01: That inner guilt, it's a real thing, even though your external world looks great, there's an inner guilt.
40:19
SPEAKER_01: What's the guilt?
40:20
SPEAKER_01: Because 20 years ago, when you crossed somebody's boundary and you cussed them out because you were drunk and you didn't make amends, there's remorse.
40:30
SPEAKER_01: Well, if you cussed them out because you were drunk and you didn't make amends because you were drunk, you also didn't feel the remorse because you were drunk.
40:39
SPEAKER_01: And that remorse builds up literally inside of self.
40:43
SPEAKER_01: And there's a technique where you start writing that stuff down.
40:49
SPEAKER_01: And I promise you, it sounds daunting, it sounds challenging, it sounds really horrific.
40:58
SPEAKER_01: But once you start thinking about just honest, you're just honest observers here, right?
41:03
SPEAKER_01: You think about in an unconscious state, you didn't know that you didn't know, literally.
41:10
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I had different experiences where, you know, when I was a kid, I did something stupid and I just wrote it down.
41:18
SPEAKER_01: And I'd write all that kind of stuff down.
41:21
SPEAKER_01: And what this is doing, it's not judging the behavior of your yesterday.
41:26
SPEAKER_01: It's being honest about the behavior of your yesterday.
41:29
SPEAKER_01: Now you're at more of a conscious place.
41:32
SPEAKER_01: And I can tell you, if you're brand new and you're brand new to sobriety and you're brand new to a spiritual path, this particular exercise, it's probably not going to fit as a life behavior, not here.
41:46
SPEAKER_01: But I can promise you, if you on a daily basis look around and see who you weren't nice to and you write that down, it'll help.
41:56
SPEAKER_01: Why?
41:56
SPEAKER_01: Because the eighth step is a self-discovery step of us being honest about our behavior to the world.
42:07
SPEAKER_01: We're such a victim to the world.
42:09
SPEAKER_01: Everybody hurt us.
42:10
SPEAKER_01: It's everybody else's fault.
42:12
SPEAKER_01: I feel like crap.
42:13
SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm not saying that isn't true.
42:15
SPEAKER_01: Some.
42:16
SPEAKER_01: And feeling hurt and feeling guilty are two different things.
42:23
SPEAKER_01: Feeling pain and feeling shame are two different things.
42:27
SPEAKER_01: Feeling loss and feeling like there's something wrong with me are two different things.
42:34
SPEAKER_01: If you're feeling hurt, loss, abandonment alone, then that's inner child wound, hurt of your yesterday.
42:42
SPEAKER_01: If you're feeling guilty, shameful, feeling like you've always done something wrong, a cop's behind you and you haven't drank in 20 years, but you still cringe because there's a police officer behind you, those feelings, this helps heal that, those feelings, those life gnawing at us behaviors.
43:05
SPEAKER_01: It's called an eighth-step.
43:06
SPEAKER_01: Write them down.
43:08
SPEAKER_01: And of course, like everything else, you got to tell somebody.
43:11
SPEAKER_01: You got to tell whoever that person is.
43:13
SPEAKER_01: I always say, write down the voices and tell somebody.
43:17
SPEAKER_01: And you got to tell somebody your voices.
43:19
SPEAKER_01: And of course, pick somebody who's conscious, pick somebody who's done it, pick somebody who's practiced in the 12-step program, pick somebody who is on the same conscious path as you.
43:29
SPEAKER_01: Why?
43:29
SPEAKER_01: Because they're not going to shame.
43:30
SPEAKER_01: They're going to say, whatever.
43:32
SPEAKER_01: I did the same types of things.
43:34
SPEAKER_01: For 99% of you, the behavior patterns that you did when you were younger, you lied to people, you just did.
43:41
SPEAKER_01: You weren't truthful to people, you just did.
43:44
SPEAKER_01: You cheated on somebody, you just did.
43:46
SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, you did stupid shit, you took money, you stole from people, you did.
43:50
SPEAKER_01: I mean, everybody did it.
43:52
SPEAKER_01: You just did.
43:52
SPEAKER_01: And why did we do it?
43:54
SPEAKER_01: Well, we did it because of fear of not getting what we want or fear of what we're losing, literally.
44:00
SPEAKER_01: All behavior patterns of your yesterday in your unconscious world, all of them, literally 100% of your behaviors of your yesterday where you cross somebody else's boundaries, the behavior was motivated by fear.
44:17
SPEAKER_01: Period.
44:18
SPEAKER_01: Well, we're trying to get from a place of living from fear to living from abundance, a place from being powerless to our behaviors to being in allowance for a higher power to take over our life.
44:30
SPEAKER_01: Well, we have to clean up some of that old so the new can come forward.
44:36
SPEAKER_01: And in certain cases, you will need to make amends.
44:40
SPEAKER_01: Everybody?
44:41
SPEAKER_01: No, of course not.
44:43
SPEAKER_01: Hey Joe, what about my girlfriend when I was in 17 and me and her best friend hung out and we drank too much and did stupid?
44:51
SPEAKER_01: No, your girlfriend at 17, who's now a grandmother, she doesn't need to hear you say, Hey, you know, 50 years ago I cheated on you.
45:01
SPEAKER_01: No, no.
45:03
SPEAKER_01: But your son that you just took your crap out on last week because he did something stupid and you lost your temper.
45:12
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
45:13
SPEAKER_01: It is time.
45:15
SPEAKER_01: It's time to have the courage to say I'm sorry.
45:22
SPEAKER_01: The tenth step in the program, my favorite step of the AA program is the tenth step.
45:29
SPEAKER_01: Why is that?
45:30
SPEAKER_01: Because the tenth step says we are all human.
45:35
SPEAKER_01: We're human.
45:36
SPEAKER_01: We're all gonna make mistakes.
45:38
SPEAKER_01: We are.
45:40
SPEAKER_01: What happens though?
45:42
SPEAKER_01: We get so practiced that instead of going into humility and remorse and saying, I'm sorry, we say, I didn't do it.
45:52
SPEAKER_01: It's your fault.
45:53
SPEAKER_01: I didn't really do that.
45:54
SPEAKER_01: You're just sensitive.
45:55
SPEAKER_01: We make shut up and we blame the other person for our behaviors.
45:59
SPEAKER_01: And then we wonder why we feel like crap the next Tuesday morning.
46:03
SPEAKER_01: That's why.
46:04
SPEAKER_01: The freedom comes when we move from a place of fear to a place of flow.
46:13
SPEAKER_01: And I promise you, you have made mistakes.
46:17
SPEAKER_01: I promise you, within the past 48 hours or two weeks, there's something you did reactionary you wished you hadn't, and it's still gnawing at you now.
46:29
SPEAKER_01: How do we deal with the gnaw?
46:32
SPEAKER_01: You make amends.
46:33
SPEAKER_01: It's that simple.
46:34
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't have to be dramatic, it doesn't have to be 10,000 words.
46:39
SPEAKER_01: I can tell you when I was a new dad, I used to have to make amends to my three-year-old son.
46:46
SPEAKER_01: I'd never watched a baby before.
46:47
SPEAKER_01: I could never get him to do what I wanted.
46:49
SPEAKER_01: More than once I lost my temper at my three-year-old.
46:52
SPEAKER_01: And I would sit down.
46:54
SPEAKER_01: He didn't know what the hell was going on.
46:56
SPEAKER_01: He's three, but I would make amends.
46:58
SPEAKER_01: Yes, I would.
47:00
SPEAKER_01: And I do it now.
47:02
SPEAKER_01: Any if I get involved with a female in the future, I will make her one promise.
47:06
SPEAKER_01: I will do the best I can to honor you, to support you, to be there for you.
47:12
SPEAKER_01: But I can't promise I won't cross your boundaries.
47:15
SPEAKER_01: I can't.
47:16
SPEAKER_01: I'm human, but I can promise you, if I do, I will make amends.
47:23
SPEAKER_01: And even if I don't think I'm wrong, if my behavior causes another person harm, I will make amends.
47:34
SPEAKER_01: Not because I believe my behavior was right or wrong, if I'm okay with my behavior, but because I hurt somebody that I care about.
47:43
SPEAKER_01: Men, listen to me.
47:46
SPEAKER_01: You being right and wrong 98% of the time, I don't care if you're right or wrong.
47:52
SPEAKER_01: If your behaviors cause somebody else pain, it's time to close your mouth, stop making excuses, and simply say, I'm sorry.
48:04
SPEAKER_01: I'll try not to do it again.
48:06
SPEAKER_01: That's it.
48:08
SPEAKER_01: It's it.
48:10
SPEAKER_01: 80% of all angst, of all problems, men and women, if people would just get in the behavior, in the loving action step of saying, I'm sorry, 80% of issues would go away immediately.
48:27
SPEAKER_01: And sorry doesn't mean that you literally believe your behavior was wrong.
48:34
SPEAKER_01: No, you can have perfect behavior, but your perfect behavior causes another person pain.
48:42
SPEAKER_01: An empathetic response to the pain is, I'm sorry.
48:47
SPEAKER_01: It's not an admission of guilt, it's being kind because you were the reason somebody else got their feelings hurt.
48:57
SPEAKER_01: Now, that other person, if they're getting their buttons pushed all the time because of some behavior you do, hopefully they're in therapy.
49:04
SPEAKER_01: Hopefully they've got support.
49:06
SPEAKER_01: You can't fix them.
49:08
SPEAKER_01: But you can change your behaviors if you're in partnership or don't be in partnership.
49:15
SPEAKER_01: You know what?
49:16
SPEAKER_01: I was just talking to a couple the other day, and a friend of mine, he is in a tough spot, my friend in Connecticut.
49:25
SPEAKER_01: He is in a tough spot.
49:27
SPEAKER_01: And I said to him, and his wife was going by to see him, and he said, I just don't, you know, like he needed some comforting a little bit.
49:38
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, you know what, dude?
49:40
SPEAKER_01: You know what marriage is a lot of times.
49:43
SPEAKER_01: Marriage isn't about fixing, marriage is about being willing to just sit there, just sit there and be next to somebody.
49:54
SPEAKER_01: Women, most men, if you say I'm sorry, I love you, I'm not gonna tell you what they're thinking in their head, but it doesn't help.
50:05
SPEAKER_01: My friend, I said to her, when you go there, we have to change your old behaviors, all of your kind, nice, normal, loving, wonderful adjectives are driving your husband nuts.
50:25
SPEAKER_01: Please stop.
50:27
SPEAKER_01: And she heard me, and she did.
50:29
SPEAKER_01: I said, Here's the new vernacular when you're around him when he's in so much pain.
50:34
SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry, I'm here.
50:36
SPEAKER_01: I understand.
50:39
SPEAKER_01: I understand.
50:41
SPEAKER_01: I understand.
50:43
SPEAKER_01: When somebody is in pain, especially a man, most men want empathy.
50:50
SPEAKER_01: I understand.
50:51
SPEAKER_01: Now, a lot of women want I'm sorry, and that's compassion.
50:56
SPEAKER_01: Most men, especially when they're in pain, they want empathy, they want somebody who is willing to sit there.
51:02
SPEAKER_01: And sure enough, it started working.
51:05
SPEAKER_01: And I talked had more than one conversation with him about all his rage.
51:09
SPEAKER_01: I was like, listen to me clearly, stop the rage on your wife.
51:13
SPEAKER_01: You have to stop.
51:14
SPEAKER_01: You need to cuss somebody out.
51:16
SPEAKER_01: You call me up, call me up, cuss me out all you want, because I can take it and I'll help you get your rage out in a healthy way.
51:23
SPEAKER_01: And sure enough, he did.
51:25
SPEAKER_01: Well, it's working.
51:26
SPEAKER_01: Rage in a healthy way.
51:29
SPEAKER_01: And women, when your man is saying, when your behaviors, even though you believe it's kind and loving, if you literally see your behaviors triggering your man, stop.
51:46
SPEAKER_01: Please stop and learn what your man needs in that moment, because he's gonna need something different than what you believe is loving.
51:57
SPEAKER_01: Most of the time, it's almost no words, is what a man is truly wanting, and it really works.
52:04
SPEAKER_01: 98% of issue can be rectified.
52:11
SPEAKER_01: We're human, folks.
52:12
SPEAKER_01: We're gonna cross boundaries, we're gonna do stuff we wished we hadn't.
52:15
SPEAKER_01: It's just going to happen.
52:17
SPEAKER_01: And if you say you're sorry, not I'm sorry because I'm wrong, or not I'm sorry because you're wrong, or not I'm sorry because I understand, or not I'm no.
52:28
SPEAKER_01: If your behavior causes somebody else pain, I'm sorry is the appropriate response.
52:33
SPEAKER_01: It is.
52:34
SPEAKER_01: And hopefully you're with somebody that if they're being triggered, they have support to get help with being triggered.
52:42
SPEAKER_01: I can promise you, the whole idea of making amends, adding it into your conscious life, it makes all the difference in the world.
52:53
SPEAKER_01: It does.
52:54
SPEAKER_01: I can promise you, I ever have a female around me, I can I, as you can tell, I am a big ass personality.
53:01
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna say shit.
53:02
SPEAKER_01: I wished I hadn't.
53:03
SPEAKER_01: A lot of times stuff just comes out and I'll catch myself, and I can see just in the look of someone's face, I can feel their energy and I will make amends and I will try to be better always.
53:15
SPEAKER_01: I will never, no one will ever have to ask me twice to say I'm sorry.
53:20
SPEAKER_01: Why?
53:21
SPEAKER_01: Because I'm sorry allows me a sense of freedom.
53:26
SPEAKER_01: It allows me to be human, it does it allows me to not have to walk on eggshells, and if I do something over and over, that's a discovery moment.
53:34
SPEAKER_01: That's not a shame her moment.
53:36
SPEAKER_01: If I can't stop a behavior, that's a self-discovery behavior moment.
53:42
SPEAKER_01: But I've had to make amends to my kids, you know.
53:45
SPEAKER_01: I have.
53:45
SPEAKER_01: Ask my oldest, and you'd tell you.
53:48
SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm sorry is a it's probably one of the more loving things that somebody can say, even if you don't believe it.
53:59
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter what you believe, it matters that your behavior caused someone else pain.
54:03
SPEAKER_01: Say you're sorry, and then be with no words.
54:07
SPEAKER_01: See what happens.
54:08
SPEAKER_01: I can promise you it makes a big difference.
54:12
SPEAKER_01: On the other side of cleaning up that sense of guilt and cleaning up that sense of shame and cleaning up the remorse of our behaviors and learning the I'm sorry, literally living your amends to yourself.
54:27
SPEAKER_01: You know, it's easy to look back and say, yeah, Jesus, I was drunk for 20 years and I lost my 20s and my 30s.
54:35
SPEAKER_01: I could literally say, in my world, I processed my entire 30s.
54:40
SPEAKER_01: I was drinking my entire 20s.
54:43
SPEAKER_01: And my entire 30s, I was seven years of it, I was in deep darkness.
54:49
SPEAKER_01: I could look back at that and say, oh, I feel horrible.
54:52
SPEAKER_01: My 30s are gone.
54:54
SPEAKER_01: And I went through the remorse of that I did.
54:56
SPEAKER_01: But how we how we heal from the remorse of how we abandon ourselves, how we heal, is called living the amends.
55:06
SPEAKER_01: A living amends is when you start living the glass full you.
55:12
SPEAKER_01: You start living today the behavior patterns you wished you would have done 30 years ago.
55:17
SPEAKER_01: There's a famous, there's one of these famous influencers out there that says all the time, if I can do what I've done here in my 50s, you can do it.
55:26
SPEAKER_01: Now, what she doesn't say is that she had this massive ass career in her 30s and 40s.
55:31
SPEAKER_01: That's why her 50s she was able to do it.
55:33
SPEAKER_01: I love all of it.
55:35
SPEAKER_01: But I don't care how old you are, I don't care how young you are, how you heal, how you live the healing of forgiveness of self, how you forgive yourself is by living the amends, by living in a way that you wished you would have all those years you're codependent, in living in a way that you wished you would have all those years you were drunk or all those years you were angry.
56:03
SPEAKER_01: It's called living amends.
56:04
SPEAKER_01: I can tell you in my world that as I came out and I started all over, you know, I started a business, I got married, and literally started over.
56:18
SPEAKER_01: Met a woman in church, my past wife Elizabeth.
56:20
SPEAKER_01: I looked across the room, I said, I'm gonna marry her, and sure enough, we did.
56:24
SPEAKER_01: We got along great.
56:26
SPEAKER_01: The only thing we were ever really different in is our parenting styles, and that eventually caused our paths to separate.
56:34
SPEAKER_01: Well, did I cross her boundaries?
56:36
SPEAKER_01: Are you freaking kidding?
56:38
SPEAKER_01: Yes, I did a lot, and I did the best I could to make amends.
56:42
SPEAKER_01: I did.
56:43
SPEAKER_01: I was never trying to be pro, I try you try to do the best, but I made amends.
56:47
SPEAKER_01: Now, if I did it over and over and over, that's why I was always in therapy.
56:51
SPEAKER_01: I've been in therapy for 40 years.
56:53
SPEAKER_01: So the whole process, right?
56:56
SPEAKER_01: You come out the other side and you're living the world that you wished you could.
57:01
SPEAKER_01: I got married for the first time at 42 years old.
57:06
SPEAKER_01: Most people get married when they're 32.
57:08
SPEAKER_01: A lot of people get married when they're 20.
57:10
SPEAKER_01: I had my first son at 44.
57:13
SPEAKER_01: My second son, 49.
57:17
SPEAKER_01: It's never too late.
57:19
SPEAKER_01: So I literally lived my amends of what I didn't do in my 30s.
57:24
SPEAKER_01: I lived it in my 40s.
57:26
SPEAKER_01: I did.
57:26
SPEAKER_01: And it felt really good.
57:28
SPEAKER_01: Kind of like it's amazing how you feel remorse and grief and all of that.
57:33
SPEAKER_01: Gosh, I wish I'd had kids and I wish I had this and I wish I had that.
57:36
SPEAKER_01: Well, then once you start living it today, it's amazing how there's a natural forgiveness of the old behavior because you're living a new behavior now.
57:48
SPEAKER_01: How do you find the guidance system to live the new behavior?
57:52
SPEAKER_01: What's the old behavior we lived?
57:53
SPEAKER_01: Fear based.
57:54
SPEAKER_01: Fear of losing what you have, fear of losing what you have, or not getting what you want.
57:58
SPEAKER_01: Our behaviors are based in fear, ego.
58:02
SPEAKER_01: How do you live and be guided into a love-based behavior?
58:07
SPEAKER_01: Get in your silence.
58:09
SPEAKER_01: Listen to that small voice, listening to the all-encouraging voice.
58:13
SPEAKER_01: Get help.
58:14
SPEAKER_01: People are out there to guide, they are.
58:17
SPEAKER_01: But it's that small voice in you that is going to guide you into a glassful world.
58:24
SPEAKER_01: I always caveat the difference between my higher power and my ego.
58:29
SPEAKER_01: My ego is always an all-or-nothing voice, a yes or no voice.
58:33
SPEAKER_01: My higher power was always an all-inclusive voice.
58:36
SPEAKER_01: It was an encouraging voice.
58:38
SPEAKER_01: Maybe we can.
58:39
SPEAKER_01: Maybe, you know, it's it was always more like a gray versus a black or white.
58:45
SPEAKER_01: And sure enough, when I heard the voice in me saying, I'm gonna marry her, I didn't even know who she was.
58:52
SPEAKER_01: I didn't know at the time she was the preacher's daughter.
58:54
SPEAKER_01: I didn't know anything, but I followed the voice.
58:57
SPEAKER_01: I did.
58:58
SPEAKER_01: And we got married and bought a house and had kids and did the whole thing, right?
59:04
SPEAKER_01: Well, eventually, our past separated.
59:09
SPEAKER_01: And this is a perfect spot.
59:11
SPEAKER_01: I got Dr.
59:12
SPEAKER_01: Karen's talking to a woman for me.
59:14
SPEAKER_01: This is the perfect spot.
59:16
SPEAKER_01: I have the perfect support that I would put in right now because I'm pretty much guessing that most of you on this, a lot of you on this podcast, have outgrown at least one partner in your life.
59:30
SPEAKER_01: Why?
59:31
SPEAKER_01: Because folks, we are growing.
59:34
SPEAKER_01: Some people are growing, some people aren't.
59:37
SPEAKER_01: And most divorce now happens because we're growing at different rates, spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally.
59:47
SPEAKER_01: We're growing.
59:48
SPEAKER_01: Some people are growing by leaps and bounds, some people aren't growing at all.
59:54
SPEAKER_01: And relationships either grow or they go.
59:58
SPEAKER_01: Well, literally, if I had this contributor already agreed, I'd be telling you for the next three minutes to go to this person's website because that's what she does.
1:00:06
SPEAKER_01: Her expertise is supporting people in that transition.
1:00:11
SPEAKER_01: That's what she does.
1:00:12
SPEAKER_01: Divorce and not just divorce, but change of relationship.
1:00:16
SPEAKER_01: She's got a whole system for that.
1:00:18
SPEAKER_01: And why is that so important?
1:00:20
SPEAKER_01: Because it's one of the single most tragic, painful, hurtful things.
1:00:27
SPEAKER_01: And then attorneys get involved, and craziness gets involved, and chaos takes over an already difficult experience.
1:00:34
SPEAKER_01: Well, this woman has a freaking solution for all of it.
1:00:36
SPEAKER_01: I can hardly wait to tell you all about her.
1:00:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm hoping soon.
1:00:41
SPEAKER_01: And one of my contributors, because this would be a place.
1:00:45
SPEAKER_01: And that was me.
1:00:46
SPEAKER_01: When my past wife walked in and said, I've divorced you and I don't love you anymore.
1:00:52
SPEAKER_01: I was done.
1:00:53
SPEAKER_01: I had too much esteem to stay with a woman who could literally look at me and say, and I don't love you anymore.
1:01:00
SPEAKER_01: I divorced you, I could kind of swallow a little bit.
1:01:03
SPEAKER_01: I don't love you anymore.
1:01:04
SPEAKER_01: I didn't argue.
1:01:05
SPEAKER_01: I said, okay.
1:01:06
SPEAKER_01: Four days later, I was out.
1:01:08
SPEAKER_01: I literally left with the stuff in my front seat of my car.
1:01:11
SPEAKER_01: Now, I don't suggest that, folks.
1:01:13
SPEAKER_01: I don't.
1:01:14
SPEAKER_01: But for me, everything I had built over that previous 10 years, I started with zero the 10 years before, because the 10 years before I married my past wife, I was in complete darkness.
1:01:25
SPEAKER_01: So Joe starting over was no big deal.
1:01:28
SPEAKER_01: So I don't suggest it.
1:01:30
SPEAKER_01: That's why right now I'd be telling you about my one of my contributors because she'll help you just walk through those transitions in a healthy way.
1:01:40
SPEAKER_01: Just makes a lot of sense.
1:01:41
SPEAKER_01: Well, for me, I started with stuff in my front seat of my car and I started over, literally.
1:01:47
SPEAKER_01: And that's been this past 10 years.
1:01:50
SPEAKER_01: And I listened to the voice.
1:01:52
SPEAKER_01: I was figuring things out.
1:01:55
SPEAKER_01: I rebuilt stuff little by little.
1:01:58
SPEAKER_01: I went into silence.
1:01:59
SPEAKER_01: I'm not a drinker, I don't watch much TV.
1:02:01
SPEAKER_01: That's when I started my 18,000-piece puzzle, my first one.
1:02:06
SPEAKER_01: And I was in a place of silence.
1:02:08
SPEAKER_01: I was.
1:02:09
SPEAKER_01: And literally, I wasn't my boys were young, nine and four.
1:02:16
SPEAKER_01: I'm pretty sure.
1:02:17
SPEAKER_01: And that's when we bought our dog Zeus.
1:02:19
SPEAKER_01: And Zeus was my oldest son's best friend.
1:02:22
SPEAKER_01: We bought a German Shepherd puppy because I had nothing.
1:02:26
SPEAKER_01: I was in a house that my kids didn't know anything.
1:02:28
SPEAKER_01: My boys didn't have any friends.
1:02:30
SPEAKER_01: We bought Zeus.
1:02:31
SPEAKER_01: Zeus was their friend.
1:02:32
SPEAKER_01: And Zeus, by the way, is kind of in his last days.
1:02:36
SPEAKER_01: He's 12 years old.
1:02:37
SPEAKER_01: And sorry to say, sooner or later, I'm sure I'll be on here crying about my dog making his transition, but I'm happy about his last days here.
1:02:48
SPEAKER_01: But, anyways, that whole process of restarting and living again and living the amends, building again, right?
1:03:00
SPEAKER_01: For most of you, the building again and the living of the amends of that which you never did, it's going to look more like finding, you know, your life is good.
1:03:13
SPEAKER_01: And you and your partner, you've made it through the hard times, and you guys kind of grow the same.
1:03:18
SPEAKER_01: And now you're like trying to figure out what do you want to do for the next 20 years of your life?
1:03:24
SPEAKER_01: And kind of lost there because the past 40 years you were entrepreneur, or you had a corporate job, and you always wanted to play the guitar and you feel bad that you never did, or you always wanted to go on trips, but you feel really guilty with your family you never did.
1:03:41
SPEAKER_01: And so that's where you live it now.
1:03:45
SPEAKER_01: You live the immense.
1:03:46
SPEAKER_01: And for most of you, where the true healing of self will come is when, and the true living, the forgiveness will come, is when you find out whatever it is your grander purpose is.
1:04:03
SPEAKER_01: If you're younger, typically your grander purpose is kind of the traditional find a partner, find a house, raise kids.
1:04:15
SPEAKER_01: It's very traditional, and many, many, many people do it.
1:04:20
SPEAKER_01: And then eventually, it's kind of like once all those things are checked and you grow beyond and you spiritually grow and emotionally grow, and now you're at the next place.
1:04:30
SPEAKER_01: Well, you're not getting remarried, you're not going to have more kids, you're not going to build a new house.
1:04:34
SPEAKER_01: So the question is now what?
1:04:36
SPEAKER_01: Well, the true living of the amends, a living of the new you, the you that was never able to be lived when you're working 70 hours a week, is the living of your higher purpose.
1:04:49
SPEAKER_01: And that's where true purpose, passion, and prosperity comes when you're when you're creating a world where the grander you is in the guidance.
1:05:02
SPEAKER_01: I will tell you back to my stories.
1:05:05
SPEAKER_01: September the 20th, 2022.
1:05:08
SPEAKER_01: I listened to a woman.
1:05:10
SPEAKER_01: You, if you've listened to my podcast, I've said this numerous times, and I'll be go to hell if out of nowhere my heart explodes.
1:05:18
SPEAKER_01: And it was right out of time.
1:05:20
SPEAKER_01: I just lost my parents.
1:05:21
SPEAKER_01: My oldest son is 15.
1:05:23
SPEAKER_01: My mother, his non, he was very close to, is going through a really hard time.
1:05:29
SPEAKER_01: And all of a sudden, my heart explodes.
1:05:31
SPEAKER_01: And at the time I thought it was emotional.
1:05:34
SPEAKER_01: I did.
1:05:35
SPEAKER_01: And now I never met this woman.
1:05:37
SPEAKER_01: I listened to her voice.
1:05:39
SPEAKER_01: And sure enough, I didn't know what it was.
1:05:42
SPEAKER_01: But those were the beginning days where the voice, the voice comes back, the voice that channeled books, unequally yoked, starts coming through me.
1:05:52
SPEAKER_01: The concept of we starts coming through me.
1:05:55
SPEAKER_01: Another book called Healing Why We Feel Alone came through me.
1:05:59
SPEAKER_01: All in that Period of time, keep moving forward.
1:06:02
SPEAKER_01: That's where the We podcast came from.
1:06:04
SPEAKER_01: Went to South Africa, came back, realized 40, 400 million people in the water, started a live stream.
1:06:11
SPEAKER_01: Because of that live stream, I had 50,000 people on a live stream.
1:06:15
SPEAKER_01: Now, collectively, if they all put their money together, it was kind of the poorest of the poor, which I loved.
1:06:24
SPEAKER_01: And because I had 50,000 on there, this gentleman wanted to talk, was willing to talk to me.
1:06:31
SPEAKER_01: I sent him my book.
1:06:32
SPEAKER_01: He has an awakening after reading the book that God is inside him, not outside him.
1:06:39
SPEAKER_01: And through his journey, he had made a commitment that when he recreated his success and his wealth, he was going to give a large portion back to heal humanity.
1:06:50
SPEAKER_01: We just happened to meet.
1:06:52
SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, just happened.
1:06:54
SPEAKER_01: I'm in Atlanta.
1:06:56
SPEAKER_01: A man out of Australia introduces me to a caregiver in Uganda.
1:07:01
SPEAKER_01: A man out of India introduces me to a man out of Dubai.
1:07:06
SPEAKER_01: Atlanta and Dubai talk, me and Farhan.
1:07:10
SPEAKER_01: And then Farhan, I tell Farhan about my my folks in Uganda.
1:07:14
SPEAKER_01: And sure enough, Farhan, he goes there.
1:07:18
SPEAKER_01: And because of all of that, there's a community now that has, they used to have to walk 45 minutes and do buckets of water, pails of water in a stream that the cattle drank out of upstream.
1:07:33
SPEAKER_01: An entire community of people in Africa had to get water out of this stream.
1:07:39
SPEAKER_01: And because of all of this and Farhan going there, now this entire community has a well system.
1:07:45
SPEAKER_01: 3,000 people now have a well right there, two minutes from their house.
1:07:51
SPEAKER_01: He's also building them a school.
1:07:54
SPEAKER_01: It would cost every one of these families, these kids, a lot of money, which they didn't have.
1:07:59
SPEAKER_01: So kids weren't being educated.
1:08:01
SPEAKER_01: And why do I tell that story?
1:08:04
SPEAKER_01: Because why does Joe feel so prosperous?
1:08:07
SPEAKER_01: Why does I feel so purposeful?
1:08:10
SPEAKER_01: Why do I feel so abundant?
1:08:12
SPEAKER_01: How can I sit out of my back deck and feel like I'm in Cancun every time I'm out there?
1:08:17
SPEAKER_01: Because my heart explodes with this fullness, because I'm living a passion of truly giving back, living from that place of overflow.
1:08:28
SPEAKER_01: And the September 20, the September 20th event, right?
1:08:33
SPEAKER_01: In that period of time, I didn't know what was going on.
1:08:36
SPEAKER_01: And I have to be honest with you, for the longest time, there was no way I was going to meet this woman.
1:08:40
SPEAKER_01: She's the only person I ever saw when I saw how beautiful she was.
1:08:43
SPEAKER_01: I was disappointed because I mean, and typically I was like, Joe, why?
1:08:46
SPEAKER_01: Beauty, disappointment.
1:08:48
SPEAKER_01: Well, because I knew it'd be almost impossible to meet her, literally.
1:08:52
SPEAKER_01: And I never did meet her, still haven't met her.
1:08:55
SPEAKER_01: But I'll be honest with you.
1:08:59
SPEAKER_01: I have to tell you straight up, it was the most bizarre experience ever.
1:09:03
SPEAKER_01: I literally felt like I had a crush on a woman.
1:09:07
SPEAKER_01: For over 18 months, I had never met.
1:09:10
SPEAKER_01: And I just, for the life of me, couldn't figure it out.
1:09:13
SPEAKER_01: And I couldn't remember her last name.
1:09:15
SPEAKER_01: I couldn't.
1:09:16
SPEAKER_01: And I would never say her name here, out of her privacy, of course.
1:09:20
SPEAKER_01: I don't know her to say her name.
1:09:22
SPEAKER_01: But for 18 months, I felt like I had a crush.
1:09:24
SPEAKER_01: And then I knew it wasn't emotional, but I couldn't figure it out.
1:09:28
SPEAKER_01: Couldn't figure it out.
1:09:29
SPEAKER_01: Couldn't figure it out.
1:09:29
SPEAKER_01: And then eventually I meet Dr.
1:09:31
SPEAKER_01: Karin.
1:09:32
SPEAKER_01: And when you guys hear Dr.
1:09:33
SPEAKER_01: Karan, you're gonna love her.
1:09:35
SPEAKER_01: She's gonna, she's gonna host some of the interviews with me.
1:09:38
SPEAKER_01: She's fabulous.
1:09:40
SPEAKER_01: She is a powerhouse, deeply connected.
1:09:45
SPEAKER_01: She's empowered in her softness.
1:09:48
SPEAKER_01: As you can tell, I'm a softness in work.
1:09:51
SPEAKER_01: Softness in Joe is just not easy for me.
1:09:55
SPEAKER_01: That's why I want these other people to be because they're empowered as crap.
1:09:59
SPEAKER_01: And then I realized this woman I came across, the reason it was such a powerful experience for me is because she's literally more spiritually connected to her heart than I am.
1:10:14
SPEAKER_01: Literally.
1:10:15
SPEAKER_01: Same thing with Dr.
1:10:16
SPEAKER_01: Karan.
1:10:16
SPEAKER_01: Now that awareness took me about three plus years from this September date.
1:10:22
SPEAKER_01: And in that moment, my isolation, for 30 years I lived on a conscious path.
1:10:29
SPEAKER_01: For 30 years, I lived in this isolation place.
1:10:32
SPEAKER_01: Not, I knew there were other people out there, but I didn't know anybody that was.
1:10:38
SPEAKER_01: I can hardly wait.
1:10:39
SPEAKER_01: If I ever get to talk to this woman, all I want to do is thank her for being her, because she has to be an extraordinary female.
1:10:48
SPEAKER_01: Because, folks, I am very practiced at this whole conscious connection thing.
1:10:53
SPEAKER_01: I am.
1:10:54
SPEAKER_01: And this woman, I realize she's more consciously connected to her heart than me.
1:10:59
SPEAKER_01: And that whole process, right?
1:11:01
SPEAKER_01: And that's what I am so grateful about the We podcast.
1:11:06
SPEAKER_01: Because everybody on this podcast, you keep coming back because you're connecting to my heart.
1:11:11
SPEAKER_01: The only way you can connect to my heart is that you're consciously connected to yourself.
1:11:17
SPEAKER_01: Things I'm saying are connecting inside of you.
1:11:20
SPEAKER_01: Things I might be saying might be expanding you.
1:11:23
SPEAKER_01: I hope things I'm saying are taking you deeper into the emotional side of yourself.
1:11:27
SPEAKER_01: I want you to heal.
1:11:29
SPEAKER_01: If I can heal, anybody can heal.
1:11:32
SPEAKER_01: I say that over and over.
1:11:34
SPEAKER_01: And because I am certainly, now I will tell you, just like this last three and a half years it took me to figure out, oh my God, this woman's just more consciously connected to her heart than I am.
1:11:46
SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm glad I finally I'm just I'm a slower, I'm a slow learner on stuff.
1:11:52
SPEAKER_01: I am.
1:11:53
SPEAKER_01: Well, hopefully, someday I get to meet her and tell her, I just want to thank her for being her.
1:11:58
SPEAKER_01: I really do.
1:11:58
SPEAKER_01: And I want to thank each one of you because I know most of you out there are the same.
1:12:05
SPEAKER_01: Most women out there, you're more connected to your heart than ever.
1:12:08
SPEAKER_01: I literally asked Dr.
1:12:09
SPEAKER_01: Karan this today.
1:12:10
SPEAKER_01: I said, let me ask you this question.
1:12:12
SPEAKER_01: I said, far before you healed your heart and you had the wisdom of your spirituality, were you connected to your intuition?
1:12:20
SPEAKER_01: She didn't even hesitate, yes.
1:12:22
SPEAKER_01: Didn't even hesitate.
1:12:24
SPEAKER_01: Her entire life, she was intuitively connected to her intuition in her belly.
1:12:30
SPEAKER_01: And women, most of you, your entire life, you've had intuition in your belly.
1:12:37
SPEAKER_01: Were you able to follow it?
1:12:38
SPEAKER_01: No, not when you were younger, but now you are.
1:12:42
SPEAKER_01: So talk about a powerhouse world of women out there, because your threefold guidance system, intuition in your belly, connection in your heart, and wisdom in your head, wisdom in your higher self.
1:12:58
SPEAKER_01: For Joe, how do I know that?
1:13:00
SPEAKER_01: I am deeply connected to my heart, and I've got a tremendous amount of wisdom.
1:13:04
SPEAKER_01: Two weeks, two months ago.
1:13:07
SPEAKER_01: I swear to God, two months ago for the first time, I like feel this twinge in my belly.
1:13:14
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I wonder what the hell that is.
1:13:17
SPEAKER_01: And sure enough, I felt it for the first time.
1:13:21
SPEAKER_01: My first intuitive experience in my stomach.
1:13:26
SPEAKER_01: I've been on a path for 36 years.
1:13:29
SPEAKER_01: First time.
1:13:31
SPEAKER_01: And I thought, no wonder these women are so powerful.
1:13:36
SPEAKER_01: They come into the emotional process with 25 years of internal guidance system.
1:13:43
SPEAKER_01: And most men don't even know what the hell I'm talking about now.
1:13:46
SPEAKER_01: Hey gals, by the way, you know, most men, the highest vibrational energy they ever feel is sexual energy, just so you know.
1:13:54
SPEAKER_01: Where most of you, you have communion, you have connection, you have love, you have overflow, you have empathy, you have compassion.
1:14:01
SPEAKER_01: You have multiple energy patterns that you would probably, if you thought energy to energy, not enjoyment, but energy to energy, would be a more powerful energy than the sexual energy you have.
1:14:13
SPEAKER_01: 98% of all men, the highest vibrational energy they feel is sexual energy.
1:14:20
SPEAKER_01: And that's why when they see you and you come with this big ass open wide heart, they don't know what that is.
1:14:28
SPEAKER_01: They don't know.
1:14:29
SPEAKER_01: Especially if you're beautiful or they're attracted to you, their first reactionary pattern is going to be a sexual one, or at least they're gonna think it's a sexual one, because that's the vibration that that they're the most that they're the most in touch with.
1:14:44
SPEAKER_01: Now, I promise you, I'm gonna help men kind of get beyond that, but it's a powerful thing, and there's a whole world of people out there, and the We podcast is creating a community of like-minded consciousness of people that are coming together.
1:15:02
SPEAKER_01: Your divinity is connecting to mine, and that's why my message keeps going out there in 18 countries.
1:15:08
SPEAKER_01: We're in the top 100 in the global charts now, and we're creating a library of emotional growth podcasts.
1:15:18
SPEAKER_01: So keep coming back in a month or two.
1:15:22
SPEAKER_01: You feel stuck, look at the We podcast and find one that says, I feel stuck.
1:15:27
SPEAKER_01: Overwhelm, overwhelm's a big one.
1:15:29
SPEAKER_01: Anxiety, forgiveness, surrender, letting go, whatever it is, creating a library of podcasts so you can keep coming back and go over them over and over and tell people about it over and over because you're shifting and you're growing.
1:15:43
SPEAKER_01: So, what you resonate to do today, you're gonna shift and grow, and then tomorrow you're gonna be something else.
1:15:50
SPEAKER_01: So come back and find one of the podcasts that that connects.
1:15:53
SPEAKER_01: I say it all the time.
1:15:55
SPEAKER_01: Please let my voice keep you company during your dark times, and let my voice keep you company when you're celebrating.
1:16:02
SPEAKER_01: And together we're truly making a difference.
1:16:05
SPEAKER_01: Together, we are healing.
1:16:07
SPEAKER_01: And as I bring on more and more the contributors, the reason I'm bringing on contributors here, so I don't want anybody to be confused.
1:16:15
SPEAKER_01: You know, I've got a I've got a campaign going out there called the man in the microphone.
1:16:20
SPEAKER_01: Well, you know what?
1:16:21
SPEAKER_01: I almost didn't let them put it out there.
1:16:23
SPEAKER_01: And I get it, we're doing something unique here.
1:16:25
SPEAKER_01: It really is, but it's not the man, it's the message.
1:16:30
SPEAKER_01: And I've got some women that are deeply connected, they have the same style, they have the same connection, but the style in which they present it is going to be very different.
1:16:42
SPEAKER_01: And that's what I'm super excited about because I want the world to literally have an array of different voices that can connect with all sorts of people so that together we can truly make a difference.
1:16:56
SPEAKER_01: And together we can truly heal.
1:16:58
SPEAKER_01: And that's what we're doing here at the We Podcast.
1:17:01
SPEAKER_01: So thanks for being here, everybody.
1:17:03
SPEAKER_01: I really, really appreciate it.
1:17:05
SPEAKER_01: You know, I say this all the time, and I mean it with all my heart.
1:17:09
SPEAKER_01: Together, we're making a difference.
1:17:12
SPEAKER_01: Together, we're healing humanity, and together, we're healing one smile at a time.
1:17:20
SPEAKER_01: And from around the world, I really want to welcome you to We.