Latest / Damaged Goods with Andrea Abbate / 8. Grateful for my Damage w/ Demar Randy

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8. Grateful for my Damage w/ Demar Randy · Damaged Goods with Andrea Abbate

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_07: I am driving with some warrants.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_07: Okay.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_07: I know I have some warrants.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_07: So I'm driving well.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_07: And plus I got my kids in the car.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_07: Two and nine, I believe it was.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_07: I brought a wig and a hat for just this purpose, okay?
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_07: Alright, so I'm not wearing them now anyway.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_07: I get pulled over because my kid isn't wearing a seatbelt.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_07: I'm yelling at him to put the two-year-old in the back and I'm jumping around.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_07: I'm like, sit down, put your seatbelt.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_07: No.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_07: Uh you didn't have car seats back then.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_07: You didn't have to be in a car seat.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_07: So now the cop pulls me over, runs my plate.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_07: You are driving, blah, blah, blah.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_07: You can't drive this car.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_07: Oh, I know.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_07: I'm so sorry.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_07: You have to get, I'm not gonna tow it, but I'm gonna, you're gonna leave it right here.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_07: I'm getting out with my two kids.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_07: Oh man.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_07: I gotta get to this show.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_07: You know what I mean?
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_07: We're not too far off.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_07: So we go and then we just go into the Denny's.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_07: We have a soda.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_07: I look around.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_07: I go back to the car.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_07: I get my black wig on.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_07: I put my hat on, jump in the car.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_07: The kids are laying down, so now I'm a new person driver.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_07: I drove the rest of the way in my wig with my kids laying flat on the ground.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_07: And I made it.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_07: And I drove back.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Damaged Goods.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_07: We're back.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_07: This is Damaged Goods with Andrea Abbott.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_07: And my co-host, Alex DuFont.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_07: We're back.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_07: And guess who we have here?
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_07: Finally, CPT Damar Randy, the great funny, hysterical.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_07: Thank you for having me.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_07: Amazing headliner, amazing comic, amazing actor.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_07: What if you tell us some of the things you're doing now?
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_07: I know you're working night and day.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_04: Like right now, I'm helping my boy Will.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_04: We're working on a musical.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, who's your boy Will?
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_04: My boy Willow Willonomis.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_04: King Willanomus.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_04: He did the uh BBL jersey.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_04: We're working on the on the uh a musical.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_04: Dang.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_04: So I wro I wrote I wrote a couple songs for that, you know.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_04: That was fine.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_07: Also, Jamar can sing his ass off.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_04: I can.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_07: You are and what about dancing?
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_07: Are you are you a quadruple threat?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_04: No, now here's the thing.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_04: I can dance, right?
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_04: But uh the older I got, the less enthusiasm I have for really breaking it down.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_04: But when I was younger, I almost made it to the last round of the uh Six Flags Summer Dance Crew.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_04: I made it to the last round.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_04: I'm not saying that I made it on or anything, but like it was the last round, and I was the only person in jeans.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_04: And when is in jeans.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_04: I'm in there like fucking.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: So you were trying out for like a gig or something?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_04: But the thing was, I was just walking through the hallway from another audition, and I was like, oh, they're doing a dancing audition here.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_04: That's cool.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_04: I could dance.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, but it's uh confidence.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_05: I could dance.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_05: Let me get on there.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_05: I was like, I could dance, yeah.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_05: And you did.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_04: And I did.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_04: And I was in there about all the way to the last round.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_07: That's so funny.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_07: How did I meet you?
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_07: How do we how do you remember when we first met where it was?
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_04: No, no.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_04: I remember when I first remembered you.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_07: What when was that?
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_07: When I woke up outside of your house.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_07: I was like, Damar.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_07: No, I'm trying to remember.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_04: How did it be at the comedy store?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_04: Or was it at uh Mike?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_07: I think it was at Ego Death.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_07: Um I I don't know.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_07: I did I recommend him to you, Alex?
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_07: Yes.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: I met I met DeMar at Third Wheel.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_07: Well, that's where I met you because of where Ego Death was.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_07: Yes.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, well then that's probably where it was.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_04: That is where it was.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_04: I'm doing Ego Death this week.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, I did it last month.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_04: You're gonna kill it.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_04: What song are you gonna sing?
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_07: I can't I can't reveal it's supposed to be a so where is Ego Death at for people that want to know?
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, Ego Death is at the uh Hollywood improv this Saturday at 9:30.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah with your host, Lauren Michaels.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_04: And a guest of of uh storied and music.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah, story and music.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_07: Um, and then I remember I was telling I was telling Alex that uh one time I made you cry.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_07: Remember?
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_07: No when we were dude, I pushed you and pushed you to get on Quake's house.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_07: And I kept I kept texting, and every time I would go on, I'd be like, I'm telling you this man is funny, and he's from Compton.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_07: You don't have anybody from Compton representing.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_07: We're here in California.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_04: Everybody got my back, I got your back.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_07: That's right, that's right.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_07: And then when we finished it and we had so much fun.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_07: I was.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_04: I was I was a little emotional.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_04: I get emotional sometimes, man.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, what's darling?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_04: You know, the last time I got emotional, uh, I had to hide it because there was like so many people around.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_04: But like, so I'm wearing this, I'm in the studio with this guy, right?
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_04: He's got this Grammy and shit, or whatever, on the on the desk the whole time.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like so intimidated by it.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_04: Eventually I got over it, right?
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_04: And then after we're leaving, he stops me and he goes, Hey, everybody's gone, right?
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_04: Just him and something like it's just me, him, and like some security guys, whatever.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_04: Hey, you can come here anytime you want.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_04: You're amazing.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_07: Oh, Jamar.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_07: That's beautiful.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_07: I got your name.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_04: I I put your name on the list.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_04: You can be you can come here anytime you want.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_04: And I was like, but then like, you know, like there's a part of me that's like so like like so like jaded, right?
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_04: That like um that like I I didn't go there because I was like, he can just be bushed and he probably fucking tells everybody that shit, right?
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_04: You know?
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_05: And then uh he walks back in and then and the security goes goes, he never says watering away.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: You're just like hugging the security.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_05: I'm just gonna get out of there and I really appreciate it.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_07: You never say that.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_07: I'm like, shut up, what the fuck?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_07: But we have to be jaded.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_07: How many times have you been lied to?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, so many, you know that.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_07: Where you think you did great and it's all gonna open, it's all gonna change, and then surprise, nothing.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_07: Uh yeah nothing's happening.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_04: So you just learn not to like really just give your hopes up.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, I don't get my hopes up, you know.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_07: So yeah, but uh and and FYI, he killed it on Quake's House.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_07: Quake's House uh was on Sirius XM.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_07: Now it's back uh on YouTube shooting at M.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_07: Bill Burr's uh studio.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_07: Oh wow, it's we looking good.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_07: And who's gonna be pushing you to come back?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_04: Me.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_04: I really appreciate that.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_04: I you know, I'm the traffic was double today than it normally is.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_04: So he's like an hour late.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, right.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_04: And I was like, I was like, you know, normally if I feel too uncomfortable about anything, which is usually just me not wanting to, you know, I'll just I'll cancel.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_04: Oh I will.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_07: But but you weren't feeling that way.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_07: I was.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_07: Oh.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_07: I was I all morning I was.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_07: But you would never cancel.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_05: I was like, that's my girl.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you go, that's you know what, you know, I'll show up at 50%.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_07: Hallelujah.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_07: Peace Lord.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_07: All right, so I wanted to bring up crime.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_07: I was talking a little bit uh about it with Alex, who says he's never committed a crime besides driving drunk, and that's all he'll admit.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_07: That's it.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: Pretty good, right?
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: That's all he's got.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: You don't know if you can trust this guy.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm also right, I'm also wearing a wire.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_07: It's suspicious to me if nobody's done shit.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_07: I'm a girl.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_07: And let me just tell you about one of my fun crimes, okay?
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_07: And Damar, then you're gonna, you're gonna, you know, we're gonna one up each other.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_07: Okay.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_07: Okay.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna judge both of you too.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_07: You judge good.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_07: Judge away.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_07: Hey, we're being honest.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_07: Okay, we're being real.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_07: Life, I haven't always made good decisions, right?
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_07: Right.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_07: And uh, I stand by all those bad decisions I made.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_07: Look at I had a friend in college, I I went to UCLA, go bruins, and uh uh I was in a sorority at Delta Gamma.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_07: Uh, and one of my sorority sisters, her mom was uh having some identity issues and started dating a lifeguard, changed her name to Feather.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_07: You know what I mean?
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_07: That's not responsible.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_07: In any event, she didn't pay the rent that's due at the sorority, which is like whatever, 500 a month.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_07: So the sorority lady, the head lady, said, Hey, you know, you have four days to pay this uh two months rent, or you gotta go.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_07: And I was laying on the roof.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_07: We used to always lay on the roof uh with just her bathing suit, bottoms on, after so we could be tan, all those sorority girls.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_07: And I'm like, I'm around so many rich people right now.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_07: There's such so much money right here.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_07: There's gotta be a way that I can get all that money for Lori.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_07: I'm like Robin Hood right now.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_07: I'm gonna be Robin Hooding her.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_07: So then I then I came up with an idea and I thought, okay, how about this?
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_07: We're cute girls, we can go around, we can make some fake raffle tickets, right?
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_07: For a uh jazz, these are for our costumes for this year's jazz performances at our LA jazz company.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_07: And what do boys want?
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_07: A beer.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_07: So we're gonna how much are these tickets gonna be worth?
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_07: One dollar.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_07: I'd rather take a dollar from a thousand guys each, because that's less than a thousand from one guy.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_07: So, and also they'll have less chance to you know press charges.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_07: So we're gonna print it off and we had five winning tickets.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_07: The winner was gonna win five hundred dollars worth of beer.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_07: So who's not buying that?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_07: Right.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_07: We sold those, sold those all day and in our tiniest dresses.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_07: We went all through UCLA.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_07: Did you go?
• 10:15
  unknown: Yeah.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_07: And then we went to USC, and I might have even taken a couple of 20s that I saw around, you know, because we needed to get this money.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_07: Then we held our uh raffle uh finale, whatever it's called, when you you know you'd find the who won on a holiday.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_07: So maybe you're not there, right?
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_07: Okay, so we had our you had the number of our sorody.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_07: We didn't sell the winning tickets, right?
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_07: We just kept those aside.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, what?
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, oh now we're gonna scam scam.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah, a little bit of fraud.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_07: Okay, okay.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_07: A little bit of fraud, but for a good good point reason, you know, I had a I had I was it was all truistic.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_07: Yes, I'm saving my friend.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_06: Okay.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_07: Um, so then we didn't print those out, and they wanted to know, oh, but so when you're in a sorority and the phone call tree, this is back in the day.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_07: Don't forget, I'm an old hag.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_07: This is back in the day when we use pigeons.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_07: No, but um, smoke signals.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_07: But so there was one payphone on each floor or phone on each floor, and so a person would answer and say, Andrea Abbott, you have a caller.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_07: Andrea Abbott, you have a phone call.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_07: We got a thousand phone calls that day because all the guys calling, and it did seem suspicious.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_07: And then one of the girls listened in and realized we had a raffle, but they didn't know who that you know thing.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_07: So anyway, we made a thousand dollars in four days.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_07: Bam! And that's four, that's a thousand dollars of uh money from the 50s.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_04: So for inflation, you know, I mean, that was that was like ten thousand dollars.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_07: Ten thousand dollars, that's right.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_07: Well, her monthly rent, well, I remember what it was, it was five hundred dollars for the month.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_07: So how much is your monthly rent now?
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, three thousand dollars.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_07: Okay, so that's like getting six thousand dollars anyway.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_07: I thought that was pretty ingenious, and yes, it's illegal, and I I don't feel bad.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_04: That's not bad.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_04: You shouldn't feel bad, right?
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_07: I mean, I don't feel bad.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you hustled them.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_07: I hustled them.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: You hustled on.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: Is it stealing a dollar from one person?
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: Is that really stealing?
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_07: Well, a little bit, yes, but it is, but I mean, and it's false pretenses, but you know what's for a good point.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_07: If I would just went around begging, that doesn't look good.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_07: I don't want to be begging.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, you guys are in short skirts, that's kind of begging.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_04: I don't remember.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_04: A little bit.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_04: We were desperate.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_04: We were pick me girls who were being pick me.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, I mean, I'm not gonna wear this raffle, but you know it's a dollar.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_05: And your phone number is on there?
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, I would have paid a dollar for the phone number.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_04: I would like, oh, give me the phone number.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_07: Jamar, that's so sweet.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah, exactly.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: One dollar back then is like a hundred dollars today, though.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's the money.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_04: But in this campy skirt and some sorority girls, yeah.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_05: Are you pulling on the are you thinking?
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_05: You know what I mean?
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_04: I think you're like, I send you this rabbit ticket for a dollar.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_04: Uh call the number and we're gonna so wait, wait, is this your number?
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_07: Uh-huh.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_07: Here you go.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_07: Here you go.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_07: We're dancers.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_07: We're dancers.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_07: Hey, we're desperate dancers.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_07: But you know what?
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_07: It was it was a good time.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_07: And uh, yeah, we were using the assets God gave us.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_07: That's what I'm saying.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_07: We're not supposed to be God helps those who help themselves and wear skimpy skirts.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_07: All right.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_07: Now, what you got?
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_07: Don't go to a hundred because we gotta we gotta up this.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_07: You know what I mean?
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, okay.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_07: Uh I know you're clever and creative.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_04: I am.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_07: Uh something that's a while back, though.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_07: Nothing that could harm you, nothing that could come back to bite you in the ass.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_07: Be good or bad.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_04: I run a lot of red lights.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_07: Oh my god.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_07: That's a lot.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_07: That's terrible.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_07: If you run the red lights, you mean you don't stop at all.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_04: No, I stop.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_07: You stop.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_07: Oh, then you go.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_07: When it's safe, you go.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_04: When it's safe and there is no crossing traffic, and I am there by myself.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_04: 100%.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_04: I am running that fucking light.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_04: I do that.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_04: If it's not synced upright and I'm sitting there by myself, and there's no cross traffic, and I'm making the absolute most safest move possible.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_04: That's right.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_04: I am running that like a hundred percent of the time.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_07: How many times a day do you think?
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_04: It might happen four or five, you know.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_04: If you're driving all day, yeah.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_04: I'll do it at least twice on Laciana.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_07: How many times on the way here?
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_04: None, because there was, you know, it was just traffic everywhere.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_04: You can't really.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah, you couldn't.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_07: What about what about you, Alex?
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_07: Oh.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_07: I run around on the road.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_07: He doesn't want any.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say I was gonna I was gonna try to make a joke, be like, yeah, I I was driving on this empty road.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: I hit a guy on his bike and just drove away.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: But that never happened.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_06: No, but that never I hit a guy on a bike, but I yeah, no, man, I'm a pussy compared to you guys.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_07: You don't even run a red light.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_07: No, because you were sitting there the whole time.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_07: That's that's why Dumar and I were synced up.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's why he was late an hour for the no, he had things.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, it was chravis, it was just pure chavis.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: I uh I cheated this is kind of I feel like a pussy.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: I cheated my way through calculus in college by following around this Chinese foreign exchange student girl in this giant, no, this guy, this giant lecture hall, and he sat in the same seat every day.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I knew he was I knew him, I knew he was really smart.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: So I started sitting in that seat, and then he would move to a different seat, and I would sat like right behind him to the left, and I cheated off him all semester, got a B in calculus by following this Chinese community around this class.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: Pretty clever.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_06: That's racial profiling.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_04: I was right sometimes.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_04: You're right though.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_04: When they pull me over, sometimes I have warrants, and I'm like, hey, sometimes you got warrants.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_04: You were right this time.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_04: You're racial.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: My profiling is right.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_07: You were right this time, yeah.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_07: Now, I feel in the crime segment so far, I gotta declare myself the winner.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_07: I mean, first of all, I do exactly what you do, and they proved, or I read something, and who knows if it's true, but they said a psychologist did a study, and that the people that follow the rules in a country had the least amount of COVID because they followed the rules of social distancing.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_07: You know what those two places were?
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_07: Um Germany and Japan, and then how they how they figured out if they were rule followers or not, they would have a whatever researcher look at people in the middle of the night who are going to wait for the you'd never be doing this, and I would never do this, but probably Alex would be.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_07: They are at three o'clock in the morning getting out of a bar, they're standing on the corner, waiting for the do not the okay to walk when there's no traffic.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, I'm not a pussy, don't put me in that spot.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_06: Come on.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, I can see them doing that.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_06: I was 100% you're waiting there.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_06: Stop it.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_07: But those people, and it was Germans and Japanese people, according to my memory of this article, had the least amount of spreading because they're following the rules.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_07: I'm not waiting for that.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_07: Whether it's two in the afternoon, one in the morning, midday.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_07: I'm I am huffing across the street, waiting in the middle.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_07: Woo! Yeah, okay, go.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_04: I got a good one for you.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_04: All right, so uh John Memory.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_04: I got a good memory.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_04: I got a jaywalking ticket in downtown LA, right?
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_04: From some motorcycle cop, right?
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_04: And never paid it.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_04: Whatever, blah, blah, blah.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_04: Never paid it.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_07: Still a wanted man.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_04: 15, 20 years, 25 years later, I'm in New York.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_04: You know what I'm saying?
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_04: We're doing some comedy shit or whatever, right?
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_04: Blah blah blah blah blah.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_04: I'm out of intersection and I'm waiting for the the I'm waiting for the guy to turn to turn the white guy to come up for it, right?
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_04: And out of nowhere, I hear from maybe like 15 stories up.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_04: Hey! Hey, you gotta say, how do you know?
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_05: He's like, 'Cause you want me to pull the light.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_07: There you go.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_07: There you go.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_07: Go look it out.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_07: Go look it out.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I don't want to look like I don't want to stand out like that.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_07: How about this?
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_07: I was driving to Santa Barbara with two kids in the car.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_07: You think I would be responsible?
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_07: I am driving with some warrants.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_07: Okay.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_07: I know I have some warrants.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_07: So I'm driving well.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_07: And plus I got my kids in the car.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_07: Two and nine, I believe it was.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_07: I brought a wig and a hat for just this purpose, okay?
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_07: Alright, so I'm not wearing them now anyway.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_07: I get pulled over because my kid isn't wearing a seatbelt.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_07: I'm yelling at him to put the two-year-old in the back and I'm jumping around.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_07: I'm like, sit down, put your seatbelt.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_07: No.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_07: Uh you didn't have car seats back then.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_07: You didn't have to be in a car seat.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_07: So now the cop pulls me over, runs my plate.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_07: You are driving, blah, blah, blah.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_07: You can't drive this car.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_07: Oh, I know.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_07: I'm so sorry.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_07: You have to get, I'm not gonna tow it.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_07: But I'm gonna, you're gonna leave it right here.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_07: I'm getting out with my two kids.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_07: Oh man.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_07: I gotta get to this show.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_07: You know what I mean?
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_07: We're not too far off.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_07: So we go and then we just go into the Denny's.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_07: We have a soda.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_07: I look around.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_07: I go back to the car.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_07: I get my black wig on.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_07: I put my hat on, jump in the car.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_07: The kids are laying down.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_07: So now I'm a new person driver.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_07: I drove the rest of the way in my wig with my kids laying flat on the ground.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_07: Whoa.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_07: And I made it.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_07: And I drove back too, just like that.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_07: Whoa.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_07: Who are you?
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_04: The Clyde, I've been the Bonnie I've been looking for.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, there you go.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: Bonnie and Clyde.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: We could pull that shit in the 40s.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_07: 40s.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_07: That's right.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_07: And in the 30s, don't even get me started.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_07: It was so easy.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_07: You know, I had my horse registered and the buggy.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_07: But you know, it's a thing.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_07: Let me just ask you this.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_07: What have you ever talked your way out of?
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_07: Have you ever talked your way out of anything to a cop?
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_01: Really, not see.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: I was talking to her earlier.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: As a guy, you can't talk your way out of shit.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_07: Yes, you can't.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_07: You assume you can't, so you can't.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_07: You made that limit for yourself.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_04: And when I say talk my way out, nothing more than uh, you know, just being friendlier than normal, you know.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, okay.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_07: And how did he let you so he liked you then and let you go?
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_04: I start off funny.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_04: Here you go.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_04: I start off like cracking it immediately.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: So if I'm a cop walking up to you, right, you like ran a red or something.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: You won't get away.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_04: Alright, first thing I'm doing is I'm gonna roll down all my windows.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_04: Oh.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_04: I got ten black windows.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_04: I roll all four of them down before he even gets up to the car.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_07: Let all the pot out.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_04: No, no, no, no.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_04: See, you would think that's what it is.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_04: He doesn't give a fuck about that.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_04: He just really wants to know I'm the only person in the smart.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_04: All right.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_04: I'm not making him guess, you know what I'm saying?
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_04: Oh yeah.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_04: All the windows are down.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_04: You put your hands out inside.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_04: I got ten of windows.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_04: They're all murdered out windows, right?
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_04: But as soon as I see that I'm about to get pulled over, boom.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_04: Shh.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_04: So immediately we're already off on a good foot.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_04: Because he knows I'm taking care of him.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_07: Okay.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_04: I go, hey, hey, mama, how you doing, man?
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_04: Hey, you know smiling.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_04: I'm already, what's my mama?
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_04: I know I know man.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_04: That registration is bullshit.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_04: I took a marker and trying to fix that shit.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_04: You know how the times are right now, man.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_04: Hey, I got those windows on and I don't want you to be worried.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_04: Hey, really appreciate that, man.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_04: You know how you, you know.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_04: And I want us all to be safe, man.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_04: You know?
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_04: And boom.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_04: Best friends.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_04: We get it started.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_04: You know, I'm like, and hey, just for the record, before you go back there to your computer, I ain't got none of this shit.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_04: I ain't got no registration.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_04: I ain't got no license.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_04: Insurance, I don't got none of that shit.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_04: All right.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_04: I just want I don't want you to have to do no detective work.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_04: I'm not lying to you.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_04: I don't have my ID, but I'm gonna give you my real name.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_04: Or my real name.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna give you my real name.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_04: I don't have none of the shit you want, and I'm gonna give you my real name.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_04: You do that?
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_04: Do you have a license?
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_04: No, I not right now I do, but like most of the time I don't, right?
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm like, but I tell him ahead of time.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_04: That's so wonderful.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_04: I tell him ahead of time.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_04: It kind of takes the game out of it.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_04: He's not gonna, yeah, that's right.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_04: You're honest.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_04: I'm already on the gun remote.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_04: Alright, right.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, hey, look, I got me.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_04: You are you got me right here.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_04: But come on, man.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_04: I got my dog with me, man.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, he has the cutest dog.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_04: I make people's lives better, man.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_04: Like I I touch people, man.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_04: I'm a I am a community servant.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_04: You think I get paid that much to do comedy?
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_04: No.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_04: This is an act of love, bro.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_07: And and you've gotten out on that.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_07: See?
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_07: There you go.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_07: See, Alex, you need to get pulled over on the way home.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_04: I'm sorry, that's hard.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry, that's a really bad cop.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_04: No, he's letting me go, man.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_01: No license, no registration on the comedy.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_04: Now he doesn't have to go type it all in and he has to account for that.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_04: Now he has a choice of whether he wants to go do all this fucking paperwork.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, okay.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_04: He would have to do the paperwork if he if he typed me in.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_04: If he's like, all right, you know, but if I give him an opportunity to say, hey, you hey, you can hey you can now do the paperwork, and I get the fuck out of here.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_04: I'm just passing through, man.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you frame it like that.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_07: That is fantastic.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: So if this is a nice guy, and if I take him in, I have to do all this shit.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_07: And he's just out here trying to make people laugh.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_04: One asshole every now and then.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_04: That's right.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, oh, but just better to be honest, you know?
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_04: Like just keep it.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_07: Didn't I say that?
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_07: Admit it right up what you did.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_07: That is my plan too.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_07: That's what I always do.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_04: I was trying to get I'm hungry.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_04: I I need to take a shit.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_04: And I was like, and I'm about to run out of gas.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_04: And like I just, I really need I'm on the shoulder.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_04: I was only driving on the shoulder because I'm about to share myself.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_04: I love it.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_07: I like that.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_07: Oh, I have something I do.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_07: And I can't cry.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_07: You have this, you have blacked out windows, so this is gonna work for you.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_07: But Alex, this could work for you, especially with your bald head.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_07: If you were driving in the diamond lane, and who is it?
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_07: If you're not driving in the diamond lane by yourself, I have no respect for you.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_07: You've got to drive in the diamond lane.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_07: We've got it's it helps all the poor slow people that are going so slowly and watching the laws.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_07: I'm getting out of the way and going in this diamond lane so you can at least move quicker.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_07: So now, if I should be speeding past a cop, right, that's in the slow lane.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_07: I then pick up a bottle of water.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_07: You always have a bottle of water, a soda, whatever, and I hand it back to my invisible child and yell at him, give this to your brother.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_07: Okay, you share this.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_07: I'm not gonna do that.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_07: And then I'm just like, don't make me come back there.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_07: That's some good acting.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_07: There you go.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_07: Invisible children will help, they will save you every time.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_07: Every time.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_07: So here's the game we're gonna play since we're we're kind of leaning into crime today.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_07: I'm gonna tell you a crime.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_07: I'm gonna ask Jamar first and then you, Alex, and you're gonna tell me if a criminal did this or a comic.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_07: Okay, okay.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_07: Okay, okay.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_07: All right, here's one.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_07: Wow.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_07: This person served prison time after a kidnap and robbery case.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_07: They did kidnapping and robbery together.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_07: And is that a criminal or a comic?
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_07: Ten points if you know who it is.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, I thought it was gonna be more of a story, but I'm gonna go ahead and guess Tim Allen?
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna guess Tim Allen, too.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna guess Tim Allen, yeah.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_07: So you're saying it's a comic and you're guessing Tim Allen.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_07: Okay.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_01: Toolman.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_04: Or or Ali Sadiq, one of the two.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_07: Okay, no.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_07: No, oh yeah, he would be good, but no.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_07: Uh, but I like that you're racially profiling.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_07: Uh, and you should have gone another way.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_07: Joey Diaz.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_07: Oh.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_07: Joey Diaz.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_07: He served time after kidnapping and robbery and later became a stand-up comedian.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: He re-he reconnected with that guy.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: They were at the comics or took photos.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like, this is the guy I threw in my trunk 30 years ago.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_07: Wow.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_07: That's like we're friends now.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_07: I didn't even know.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_07: Did you know that story?
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_07: What is that story, Alex?
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, he um kidnapped some guy, threw him in his trunk.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_07: For what purpose?
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_07: Just to get money?
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, something like that.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_01: But then, like, he posted his like, hey, this is the guy threw in my trunk.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: We're friends now, and there was it was at the store.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: They were hanging out.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's pretty cool.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_07: I've never just, for the record, thrown anyone in my trunk.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_04: So we guessed comic and we were right.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_07: Yes, you guessed comic.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_07: You guessed comic and you're right.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_07: Okay.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_07: This person was arrested for attempted murder of another man.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_07: That's all I want to say.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_07: Are they a criminal or a comic?
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_07: We're in good company with all these criminals out of comics.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_04: Attempted murder.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_07: Attempted attempted murder.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_07: Stumped you.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_07: Okay, Jamar, what are you gonna say?
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_07: Criminal or comic?
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's a good one.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_07: Okay.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: I thought so too.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_07: Wow, you're both so racist.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_07: Uh, that was no comics.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_07: No comics?
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_07: Not a comic.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_07: That's not a comic.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_04: I'm just gonna keep saying Ali C Dink because I know it was a good thing.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_07: I'm gonna keep saying Tim Allen.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna keep saying Tim Allen.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: Alright, Tim Allen.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_01: That's sus.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_07: This person was arrested for using very bad words in their set.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_07: And oh, that's Carlin.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_07: I wanted to hear what Damar had to say.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_04: Very bad word.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_04: I'm sorry.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_07: Seven of them.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, seven.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_07: Do you know who we're talking about?
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_06: Yes, George Carlin.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_06: Ali Sadiq.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_06: Alice Sidik.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_07: The seven forbidden words or something like that?
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_07: That's right, exactly.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_07: I don't know about it.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_07: Now, but this is a good one.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_04: I'm a student of the game.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_07: Okay, this person, and I want I want Damar to answer first.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_07: This person went to federal prison for selling marijuana and selling bongs.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_07: And why do they go to federal prison?
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_07: Because it was through the mail.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_07: Who is that?
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_07: A criminal or a comic?
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna go Doug Stanhope on this.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_04: That's that's good.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, hoop, bro.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_04: I really I know my stuff.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_07: You do.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_07: What do you say, Alex?
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's like Cheech, Cheech or Chong.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_07: Tommy Chong.
• 29:42
  unknown: Yeah.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_04: Tommy Chong?
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_07: Tommy Chong.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_07: Chong with the Bong.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_04: Chong with the Bong.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_07: Okay, yeah.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_07: Well, I mean, I'm I'm sure this is not a full list of all the potential criminals because Ali Sadiq should be on here.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_07: He's not even on here.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_04: We're all criminals, so we are.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_04: Everybody's got a little criminal in them.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_04: You know how the gays are like everybody's a little gay.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_04: Everybody's a little criminal.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_04: In my family, everybody is a criminal, not even a little criminal.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_01: I fly the criminal flag outside my house.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_07: Ah there you go.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_07: Honestly.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_07: That mustache is criminal.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_07: That mustache.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_07: That's right.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_07: There you go.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_04: I like my mustache.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: I like my mustache.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_01: What do you mean?
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_04: You can like it.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_04: You can like it.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna take that away from you.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna take it away.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_01: You're the first person to make fun of me for this mustache.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: Bro, I love I love this stash.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_01: No one said anything about it.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_01: I guess they don't hate it.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_04: That's right.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_07: But Dumar knows how to do that.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm terrified of Dumar.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_07: Dumar, what's more dangerous for you as a comic?
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_07: Breaking the law or offending the internet?
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_04: More dangerous?
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_07: Uh-huh.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_04: I would say, I would say uh offending the internet.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_07: I gotta go with that too, because we could get canceled.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_04: I don't even care about that.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_04: But the internet would find your address and fucking send it out.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_04: Doc you, yeah.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, they'll like get your your credit stuff.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_04: Do you have a internet?
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_04: No, no.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_04: No, I didn't think.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, you don't have a life.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_04: It's fine.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_04: It's fine.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_04: It's fine.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_04: It's like six something.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_04: Oh my goodness, six.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_04: But I don't care.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_04: You know, that's not, I'm a cash guy.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_07: Oh, you're a cash guy?
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_04: I'm a cash guy.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_07: Cash me outside.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah, I'm a cash guy.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_04: I always ask the clubs that cash me out right here.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_04: Like, no, no, no, I want I don't want I don't like checks.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_07: Okay, good.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_04: I don't like any of the systems.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_07: What would your prison nickname be, Damar?
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_04: Uh I'm trying to think of.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_04: My prison nickname?
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_04: I feel like I don't want a prison nickname.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_04: I feel like if you get a prison.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_07: Oh, you'll it'll make it happen.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_07: It'll make it happen.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_07: No.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_01: I think your name would be plastic.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_07: Not hag.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_01: No, you'd be plot.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe like some plastic surgery joke or something for you.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_01: No, they call it Barbie.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_01: Call her Barbie.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_07: Oh, you know what?
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_07: That has been my thing forever.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_07: I used to do Barbie commercials when I was younger.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah, yeah.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_04: So they call it Barbie.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_07: Oh, Barbie.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_07: There'll be like uh, you know, dope fiend Barbie over there, right?
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_07: Whatever.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_07: Bottomed-out Barbie.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_07: Rock bottom Barbie.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_07: There she is.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_07: Come on, come on, Rock Bottom.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_04: Whatever it is.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_07: But she's still Barbie.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah, I can't take that away from me.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_07: I'll have my little uh prison accessories.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_07: My little ramen.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_07: Barbie sold with some little ramens.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_07: And she sold with some dominoes and some cards that she can play.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_07: Uh, what did my kids always play?
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_07: It's a P-word.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_07: You know, not pachanga, but what is it called?
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_07: No, it's a card game.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_07: It's you bet on it in cards.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_07: Pinakle.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_02: Oh bam.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_07: Shout out to Pinakle.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_07: If we have any fans in prison, if you get to watch this, shout out to you guys.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_07: I have been to a lot of prisons visiting family members.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_07: And I just want to say, in my humble opinion, if you're looking at serious time, try to get to Folsom.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_07: Folsom, four stars on Yelp.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_07: That's where Johnny Cash did his song.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_07: They've got vending machines that work, guards that won't rape you.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_07: Wow, that's nice.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_07: It is nice.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_07: And uh they've got some good, yeah.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_07: And this that's where they put Sug Knight.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_07: That's where they put Danny Trejo, the actor.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_07: That is where they put uh Rick James.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_07: That's where the Menendez brothers.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_07: That's where Mansa.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_07: I mean, it's like you could, it's like a gated community over there.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_07: You know what I mean?
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_07: It's it's got some.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_04: I haven't been so lucky to not have been to prison, you know.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_04: So lucky.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_04: I've done all the way up.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_04: And now juvenile hall.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_07: Oh, you were in juvenile hall you were in prison.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_04: I mean I did all the ranks, you know.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_04: I remember and then I'm like, you know, I don't think I'm gonna make it to prison.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_04: I think I'm gonna I think I'm gonna end my career right here.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_04: Right here.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_04: At county.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_04: County's the furthest I've been, you know.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_07: County is the furthest I've been in.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_04: But the county is worse than anything.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_07: County, they always say jail is worse than prison, but county is pretty bad.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_07: But when was that?
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_07: How young were you?
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_07: Super young.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_07: When you when you ended up no, not in county, you weren't.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_07: Juvenile Hall?
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_07: But yeah, but in county.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_07: Oh then you then you did then you s then everything all my fuck-ups after 18.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_04: I was in county.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_07: Wow.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_07: And then you changed your ways.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_04: But no, I I got better at being I got smarter.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_04: I got smarter.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_04: There you go.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_04: You know, being in going to jail makes you a smarter criminal.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_04: And if you and if you spend the more time you spend in jail, the less time you should spend in jail.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, unless you're a drug addict, then they're not.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_04: Right, unless you get caught, but you know what I mean?
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_04: But but ideally, a good criminal doesn't go to jail.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_07: But I wouldn't even call you a good criminal.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_07: I call you a comedian, not a criminal.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_07: I appreciate that.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_04: Everybody might not, you know, have that same sentiment.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_04: Alex sees me.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_07: Oh, he sees you as well first.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_06: He does not.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_06: That's not true, man.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_07: You just say, What?
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_07: What?
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_07: We're talking about bro.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_07: And you're many as a comic.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_04: Don't bring bring it up.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_04: I've got a good one.
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_07: No business.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_07: No bitches.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_04: They have no, they're not.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_07: Bitches get riches.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_07: There we go.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_07: Keep them quiet.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_07: Is this a criminal or a comic?
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_07: This person is a serial rapist who is spending 25 to life in prison.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_07: And you gotta and and uh I'm gonna go criminal on this one.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_04: It sounds like RK.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say Cosby, but didn't he get checked out?
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_07: Yes, and he's not a serial rapist, but it is a comic.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_07: And his name is Vince Champ.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_07: And he is doing time, and he was a very handsome man who looked very conservative, and they caught him because he had all the rapes were going on where he toured, and he toured colleges and all these college girls, and then that's how they got him.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_07: Wow.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_07: Wow.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_07: So I know that one because I used to know him.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_01: Really?
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_07: And oh yeah, I mean, he was at the improv all the time.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_07: He he got spots.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_07: He was very uh, I don't know if you anyway, I don't want to come back to him.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_04: He had a very delicate line being a handsome man in Hollywood, you know.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_07: A handsome man in the rapist, they go hand in hand.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_07: It's not delicate, you know.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_04: You see what happened to Chris Leah.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_04: Because first you like, you know, all the girls want you, and then you're like, okay, well then all the girls want me, I'll just operate that way, you know what I'm saying?
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, you know, but if you're but at one point in your life, it might not have always been that way.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_04: That's right.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_04: And then all of a sudden it just flips, and then you have to accept that, but then there's like times when it doesn't work, and you can't use a blanket idea for all women on any of that.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_07: That's right, that's right.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_07: That's right, and that's good to know because uh I've certainly been with people that uh I didn't want to be with because it was kind of a forced situation, and you're just like just get done with this because I gotta go.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_07: I can't.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_07: I don't want to do this.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_07: You're not listening to me.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_07: I'm saying no, no, no, no, no, and it doesn't mean anything else but no, and I'm just laying here like a dead person.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_07: So what are you doing?
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_07: I'm just being frozen.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_07: So I'm there's and you know how that is working.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_07: I have no idea who's gonna be able to do it.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_07: I know, I'm kidding.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_05: I'm kidding, but you know I heard I read about it.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I saw some videos, you know.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_07: So on so with our theme of damaged goods, what would you rate yourself?
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_07: I'm gonna go with you first, Alex.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_07: Uh uh, on a scale of one to ten, how damaged are you?
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: I think I'm like the baseline, like not damaged at all.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_01: So people, I'm my but my the goal, like you need a watermark to compare how damaged you guys are too.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm here kind of as as kind of like are you comparison?
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_04: Are you comparing or are you just like are you just doing internal work?
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm doing I'm doing internal work, man.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_01: As far as like, well, if we're looking at from the guest perspective, right?
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: We had we have Andrea who's fucked up respectfully.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_01: And we had different guests at different levels or whatever.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm here, you know, throw some jokes, help Andrea out, you know, to be kind of like the boring regular person just to be like, what the fuck is going on?
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_01: What happened?
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_01: That's kind of where I am.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, and I love these stories, but I yeah, I don't I don't think I damage that much.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_01: I'll give on you said scale one to ten?
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, give it like a two, one to two.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_07: You're two, so ten is the worst.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_01: I guess so.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_01: Is that how we're doing it?
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_07: Two, yeah.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah, worse a little bit, but yeah.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_07: Okay.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm very lucky, you know what I mean?
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_07: Now I I have scars and I've repaired, I've done a lot of work on myself, but I'm talking about just shit you've been through, damage.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_07: You know, and they always say that like when you when uh you know, like you break a vase or a plate and you glue it back together, it it's stronger.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_07: So I want to tell you that first off.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_07: So keeping that in mind, how much what where would you put yourself on the scale?
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_07: Damage.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_07: On the scale of damage, damage goods.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_04: Uh probably like uh eight.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_04: But I take a lot of pride in my damage too, though, you know.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_04: You take a lot what?
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_04: I have a lot of pride in my damage.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_07: You could you live to tell the tale.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah, yeah.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_04: There's stories in the damage, you know what I mean?
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_04: That's right.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_04: There's like strength in the damage.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_04: There's like so much Yeah.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, there's a lot of wisdom and damage, you know?
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_07: Like just what I said.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_07: There's wisdom and damage you can learn from it.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_07: Wisdom from wounds.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, you know, not not not ideal, like you know what I mean, but like you do want some, you know.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_04: You want some damage, you want some damage.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you want to you don't want to turn your body in perfect, unused.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_04: It's not a fucking rental car.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you're not renting the body, you know what I mean?
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_04: You can run it into the fucking ground.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_04: There you go.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_04: And I have you know what I mean?
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_04: Running motherfucker to the ground, brother.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_04: You're not supposed to turn back in on pristine, it's not a rental car, you know what I mean?
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_07: And it's not a Ferrari that is a classic that you keep in the garage.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_04: Hopefully, they gotta scoop me up and put me in a in a casket.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_04: You know what I'm saying?
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you do it right.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_04: I want to be scooped up in a couple of squealing to the final pieces.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_06: There you go.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_06: Beautiful.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_06: I am I I I I love that.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_06: I love that.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_07: And I take pride.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_07: I don't know if I take pride, but I'm grateful for the damage that I've lived through, that I've been through and recovered from because again, stories, what great stories.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_07: And as I always tell people, you know, people go, I want to be a comic or I want to be a writer.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_07: That's how I've made my living as a comic and a writer.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_07: You can go to Yale because you're so smart and you could get a scholarship, blah, blah, blah, whatever or not your parents send you.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_07: But you can't come with stories that I've been through.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_07: The stories that if you learn to drink because you had to drink from a toilet because your parents were shit, if you had to go out and do this, if you saw your parents doing all this and you live to tell that tale, you are a survivor.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_07: And a survivor is worth a college degree any day of the week.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_07: You have stories to tell.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_07: Amen.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_07: I got a PhD in damage.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_04: In damage, you know?
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_01: And like being friends with both of you guys and working with you guys a lot, you're always obviously very talented, but you're always such good moods.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_01: Whenever I saw that you had third wheel, you're just hanging out, having a good time.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_01: Same thing with you.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_01: And if you guys are giving yourselves eight nines on the damage scale, the fact that you guys are pod like mentally strong enough to power through and be in a good mood and hang out, that shit's fucking awesome.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_04: That's dope.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_04: I'm powering through right now.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_07: Exactly.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_07: Me too.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_04: Me too.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_07: Aw.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_04: But do you know what that's good because you didn't like it's it's more than that, right?
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_04: Because if if it was just to like for me to go, yeah, I feel so much better.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_04: I I I have all this pride from damage.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_04: It's not that, right?
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_04: It's it's the it's the people that I come in contact with.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_04: I feel my my damage is healed that uh saves them a scar.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_07: Yes.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_07: Oh, Jamar.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_01: Heck yeah, dude.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_07: Jamar.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_07: I love that shit, dude.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_07: I love these talks, man.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_07: That's what that's how you get bitches right there.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_07: You get all these women driving your shows, yeah.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_07: Yes, yes.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_07: No, I'd save a couple scars, you know.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_07: That's right.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_07: I wouldn't do that.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_07: I wouldn't do that.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_07: So if you want to say one thing that you think uh you could tell somebody from stuff you've been through, what would you say to somebody who that you could save them from a scar that's that might be listening to this podcast?
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_04: I gotta I gotta process that question a little bit more.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_07: Okay, process that.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_07: I'm gonna I'm gonna.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_07: Can you say it one more time?
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah, if if somebody's listening, like you said, I want to save somebody else's scar.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_07: What words of wisdom can you get from your wounds, your battle wounds that you've been through, that you could just tell somebody blanketly out there?
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_04: Slower is faster.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_07: Okay, and expound upon that.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_04: Uh you know, some people like they like uh they try to build their house on a sandy beach, you know.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_04: They try to build a mansion on a sandy beach.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_04: And instead of like taking the time to like do the foundation and do the hard work and do the and do like the you know do the studying and uh and the non not so glamorous work, you know what I'm saying?
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_04: And then and then the whole house of cars crumbles, you know what I'm saying?
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_04: And the shortcut, there's never there's no shortcut.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_04: There's no shortcuts.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_04: Wherever you're supposed to be, you will be there when you're supposed to be there.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_04: And if you like, if you need validation, you know what I'm saying, then it's gonna it's gonna take you out of your game.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_07: Ooh, I love that.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_07: Tamara.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_04: So just slow down and build it right.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_07: And I want to add on that for my people.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_07: Don't do drugs.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_07: Please don't do math.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_07: You're gonna like it.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_07: You're gonna you're gonna like it, you're gonna wanna do it again.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_07: That goes with coke too.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_07: You're gonna like it.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_07: You're gonna want to do it again.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_07: Your coke could have fentanyl in it.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_07: You're gonna like that too, and you're gonna want to do it again.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_07: Just on what Damar is saying, slow down, still, go move away from the meth and the coke and all that.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_07: Stay away from the speed and the Adderall that you're buying off your friends from his psychiatrist and blah, blah, blah.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_07: That is not going to help you in the long run.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_07: You've got to focus in.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_07: And my family was, you know, have there's a lot of criminals in it, but that's because of drugs.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_07: And once you're doing drugs and your soul is kind of quiet and over here, and you're just walking around like a zombie bashing cars, taking catalytic converters, jumping in, pulling people's hardworking people, stuff out of their little Toyota Tercell outside of Walmart.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_07: You're bashing it in to get something, a potential laptop.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_01: You're specific, I'll do it.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_07: Hey, once you've got my Toyota to sell.
• 45:54
  SPEAKER_05: But I'm just saying your stony laptop.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_01: Once you've got missing for two months.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_07: Once you've got your a lock on your bedroom door that's filled with auto parts that you stole in the middle of the night, you've gone down a wrong path, my son.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_07: And you are going, you may not be in jail now, but you will be.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_07: Right.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_07: But you will be.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_07: This is why I was telling my kids.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_07: You will, but you call me once you did your time because you have to pick between crime and a mom.
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_04: Hey, but there's a bright side of having a drug addiction, okay?
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_07: A bright side of having a drug addiction.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_07: Yes.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_04: But let me hear it.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_04: Uh my my dad's my dad uh participated in uh, you know, narcotic sales at times.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_04: And I'll just say that if you're feeling bad about your drug addiction, just know that your money went to my school club.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_07: Oh, you you mean because he made money off of it.
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_07: He wasn't doing it.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_04: And I just want to say thank you to all the drug addicts out there who have purchased from my father.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_04: Shout out to Mr.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_04: DeMar.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_04: Mr.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_04: Randy doing it right.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_04: Amazing.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_07: Well, there's always a good side to do it.
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, let me tell you this.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, during the pandemic, I tried every drug.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_04: I was an anti-drug person.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_04: You were?
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_04: I was an anti-drug person for a long time.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_07: I am an anti-drug person.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_04: Alright, and during the pandemic, I said, you know what?
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_04: If I can't say that I know what I'm talking about, I can't talk about it.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, so you did all the drugs?
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_04: I did all the drugs.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_04: Some of them a few times.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_04: Well, all of them.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_04: At the end of the pandemic, I stopped.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, you did them all through the pandemic?
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_04: Wow.
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_04: And at the end of the pandemic, I stopped.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_04: How long have the pandemic been over?
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_04: Seven years?
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_04: Seven years.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_04: Is it?
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_04: No, I'm kidding.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_04: Five?
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_07: Four?
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_07: Maybe four?
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_04: Four or five, I should.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_07: It was we were 21, we came back out.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_07: 21, 22.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_04: Alright, so after that, I did nothing else.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_04: Except we, right?
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_04: The only one that still makes me smile is Molly.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_07: Okay.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_04: What did I tell you about the strength of that shit?
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_04: It's been four years and I still go, no, that wouldn't be bad.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_04: None of them else, none, none of them, none of the other ones have a voice in my head.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_07: But to you, did you know they react differently?
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah, everybody has a lot of people.
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, but that's the only one that still has a little lingering voice in my head.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
• 48:35
  unknown: That was pretty good.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_07: Okay, well, Alex.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_07: But how many drugs did you do during the pandemic?
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_07: All of them.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_01: I uh no, no drugs during the pandemic, to be honest.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_07: And no drugs, period.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_01: No, the pandemic was I was pretty No, but I'm like in your life.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_01: Acid, uh, shrooms a little bit, weed.
• 49:01
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing too crazy, though.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing too well.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_07: Acid's pretty crazy.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah, acid is very crazy.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but I'm I'm lame though.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like I feel like such a pussy.
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_01: What I did was um I stared at a wall for 14 hours and watched it melt.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_01: Didn't say a word.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_04: You had no friends or what?
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I was no, I was with my friends.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_01: My friends were hanging out, making each other laugh.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_01: I was dying laughing.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_01: They were so funny.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_01: I was just staring at a wall for 12 hours, 14 hours.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, see, that doesn't sound funny.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_01: But it was I had a good, but yeah, I'm not like, I feel like such a fucking bitch.
• 49:30
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you're one of Damar's.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_01: It was funny.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was good.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, but like in your head, it was a good time.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because I love I had an amazing night because my friends were hilarious.
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_01: My for their comics, and they were just making me die.
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_01: I was just dying.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't say a word.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_01: I couldn't like I couldn't talk.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_01: I was just so in my head, but I was dying laughing, staring at this wall, staring at Anthony, making me laugh.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's just the it was a good night.
• 49:49
  SPEAKER_04: How many times did you do it?
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_01: Uh that that was the one night I did it.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_04: I like that.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_04: See, I like a one off like I like to try something like one time and then like never touch it again.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_07: Guys, do not listen to Damar or no one time.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_04: Just do it one time.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_07: I want to tell you my fun my fun story of acid, uh my cousin.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah, he took it, I don't not too many times because I think it was like his third, fourth, fifth time that he thought he could fly and jumped off the construction site and broke his back.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_07: And because there you go.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_07: And if you check out the amount of people that think they're Jesus, it's a lot, and or stay in a psychosis, it's a lot, or think they can fly.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_07: He got uh covered.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah, so don't do drugs, guys.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_01: He did the opposite of me.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_01: I stared at a wall, he thought he could fly.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah, so I'm just saying it hits different to different people.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_07: Oh my god, it does, and you don't know who you're gonna be, and why would you gamble with this life?
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_07: But he got he got money from his injury because it was work, so it was a good idea.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_07: So, no, so he uh he was paralyzed from the waist down.
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_07: He bought a uh ice cream truck, never had sex, drove that ice cream around, sold ice cream and acid to kids.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_07: That's what he did.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_07: Wow, yeah, shout out to Uncle Jimmy.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_07: That's my cousin Jimmy.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_07: We called him Uncle Jimmy.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_07: A CTE move.
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_07: So let's I just want to say everybody in my family that has is currently in jail, prison prison in the main, uh, who's in there from manslaughter to assault to the it was all because of drugs.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_07: All because of drugs.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_07: My little darling, some person who will stay anonymous, went with two guys to rob a guy uh who was selling uh meth, and he was with the guys, they murdered the guy.
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_07: He didn't, boom, away you go.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_07: People make crazy decisions on drugs.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_07: Do not listen to Damar.
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_07: He is no.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_04: Keep doing drugs, man.
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_04: We need to mark this hair.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_04: There's no natural predators for them.
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_04: Please keep doing math.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_04: Send them out a little bit.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_04: Maybe we can get some of the smarter ones to survive.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_04: Jamar.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_07: It kills your soul.
• 52:17
  SPEAKER_07: It kills your soul.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_07: Don't listen to Jamar.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's so funny.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_07: When I went to Catholic school when I was little, we had to hold our, so we had these long number two pencils.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_07: Remember those number twos?
• 52:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_07: And so the nuns would tell us to hold them down towards the bottom so we could make room on our pencil for our guardian angel.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_07: We were always making.
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_07: So I hold a pencil so bizarrely.
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_07: I'm like, oh, my guardian angel needs a lot of.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_07: She's got a big ass.
• 52:43
  SPEAKER_07: My guardian.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_07: But anyway, shout out to the nuns at St.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_07: Anthony's.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_07: We didn't have air conditioning.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_07: We were sticking in our little wool uniforms in the heat.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_07: Oh, stop.