Latest / The Treehouse Show Podcast / Episode 65-Christmas Roadshow -Full Episode

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Episode 65-Christmas Roadshow -Full Episode · The Treehouse Show Podcast

0:29
I love it. You guys are already rowdy and we're just getting started.
0:36
I'm so excited that once again you have all made it up to one of
0:41
our road shows. Obviously this will be our last road show of the year,
0:45
but thank you so much for coming to the tree this Christmas party here
0:53
at Shakerson's Midtown location. Thank you for coming. While I've got your attention,
0:58
before you all just get sthouse, we do have feedback. We also
1:03
have some goodies. We've got some merch over here that is for sale,
1:07
and then you can faddle your way back into even more stuff for so Jary,
1:11
you give me a quick favorite, grab me one of those cups right
1:14
there, Thank you, sir. So if you would, Hayden stand up.
1:23
So at the very first road show we did earlier this year at Daddy
1:26
Rabbits Pub, I'm sorry, were you at Daddy Were you at the one
1:30
in Bedford? So the very first one we did in Bedford earlier this year,
1:36
Hayden was there and he's an opportunity to make some money, so I
1:40
said, okay, let's try to make some money. So Hayden back here
1:42
is taking orders for these lovely cups. If you have any interest in buying
1:48
some, you can talk to that handsome tall felt back there. We have
1:51
shirts for sale here. Jacquelin from Brooks Plumbing brought some almost said plumbing cups,
1:57
but their coffee comes. If you drink enough coffee, you'll use That
2:02
is true. That is very true. And after the Dak Prescott Colon cancer
2:07
test it commercial that I saw that cup I think would also work. So
2:14
if you I'm looking for some last minute Christmas guests for friends, family,
2:16
or you just want to spread the word of the show in the least subtle
2:21
way possible, you can do that over here to our right. And don't
2:24
forget that. If you want anything and you want your face or someone else's
2:28
face on your foot on something, that is true. Cherry Wall, I've
2:34
got you standing up and shout, you're on the end. We go grab
2:36
that blanket from my wife. Hilarious. That's great. So if you guys
2:44
very soft, Yeah, they're nice. So one of the things that I
2:49
hate in here from his company, spoke Custom, what they do is blanket
2:53
so a number of other things. And so what we'll be doing is we'll
2:58
be giving this blanket away tonight along with one of these cups and a sticker
3:02
as well. All these things available from Hayden's company. Now, these are
3:07
some of the things he gave us for free. So we're gonna give it
3:08
back free to you and so you can get registered for that. We'll do
3:14
registering in our first break. You'll put all your stuff in the bucket over
3:15
there in front of Raj. That gives you an idea. But like Tray
3:19
was saying, you yourself could have a blanket like this with Raj's face,
3:23
maybe with Trey's face, or if you want to join Jackson's face, you
3:28
could you could have a join Jackson or you, Stacey think we all need
3:34
Big Stacy blankets because Big Stacy, why you are large. You cannot be
3:38
everywhere all the time, all at once. Blood With a Big Stacy blanket,
3:45
it would feel like it. So also about it. That's the way
3:49
you're gonna get your hands around. Jacqueline from Brooks Plumbing. So, thank
3:54
you guys so much for coming off to our Christmas party today. We love
3:58
having you. If you didn't see it coming in, you're probably blind,
4:01
but there is there is a police car outside and for those that don't know,
4:06
that is the original Spindleville car from our old Russ Martin show days,
4:12
And Trey knows more about that car than I do, because I'm pretty sure
4:15
you're the one that had to buy it, and for a couple of parades,
4:18
I had to drive it. And not only was it not legal to
4:24
be driving around city limits in a police car while not a police officer,
4:31
but I'm pretty sure that car has never been past inspection or road or or
4:38
legal at all, not to my knowledge. And when there was a Russ
4:43
Martin automotive, it was worked on. And I've seen that cart top the
4:49
bottom and front and back, and it looks better. They have done an
4:54
immaculate job of restoring that and making it look because it looks better than it
4:58
ever did we had. I'm curious because you saw that car when the show
5:02
first bought it, when Russ first bought it, what looked worse Someone's first
5:08
day at an AA meeting or that car. It's kind of a toss up.
5:17
There's just more tears at an AA meeting. They both smoke. Also,
5:28
this is great because we get to look around and see so many familiar,
5:30
smiling, happy faces that the holidays are close and I'm usually in a
5:33
better mood around the holidays. Some people aren't as much, and hopefully this
5:38
will, you know, kind of put a little smile on your face.
5:41
But it's great to see so many faces even I haven't seen in a while,
5:45
seeing Stephen, Karen Rutherford here saying hi, is great, Michelle from
5:48
old radio days, Big Stacy, of course, Joanne Jackson, so many
5:51
of you guys you'd have been out to their previous road shows. Again,
5:55
we appreciate it. Keith, thank you for coming back. In case you
5:59
didn't notice, that's the who has the old show letter jacket. Yea,
6:03
and not just yet, but Keith has a couple of things he wants to
6:10
give Raj and we'll do that in a little bit. And I know Diego
6:13
always has stuff he likes to give us because you're part devil, and so
6:17
we'll do that here in a little bit. I've also got a couple of
6:20
things in tep for today in addition to the roast that we'll be doing after
6:24
we're finish doing this part of the show, which if I'm being honest,
6:28
I'm still a little anxious about, because one, I've never been to a
6:31
roast. I've only seen them in television and the ones I've seen on television,
6:35
they really hated the person that they were going after. So I'm hoping
6:39
it's not going to be to that level. I don't want to leave here
6:42
crying. No, it's so hilarious to me. Is everybody within about an
6:50
hour of being here as I came out. If you check your email,
6:54
I'm like, I've read your stuff. That's great. Just want to hurt
6:57
everbody's feelings, like that's what the roast is about. It's not trying to
7:01
be mean. But that's two conflicting statements. You just said you need to
7:08
be mean, but you're not trying to hurt feelings. It's all out of
7:11
love. That's what it is. There. You go see he had an
7:14
abusive parent. You know, you had two journeys. I just had the
7:20
one and that one was like three or four. So yeah, so you
7:26
understand when when you get when you get hurt out of love. That's what
7:31
they say when they're beating you. I'm doing this because I love you,
7:34
but it doesn't feel like love. That's what I'm opening your roads because I
7:39
love you. It's the equivalent of with all due respect. Yes, so
7:46
it doesn't it doesn't mean anything. It just makes you. It just feels
7:48
like it gives you liberty to just whoops, that's exactly right. Okay,
7:51
Yeah, yeah, you're not gonna learn anything out of this. You're not
7:54
gonna find out, You're not gonna find anything different. And I actually think
7:58
I will learn some things. I think I'm gonna learn some things about you
8:01
guys, like maybe what you say about me when I'm not around, which
8:03
right now is all the time because I don't know here anymore. Uh,
8:07
And maybe that's the thoughts you have about me deep in your darkest corners.
8:11
And I did tell everybody, I was like, say what you want to
8:13
say, because he won't remember it tomorrow, so it doesn't matter. There
8:18
is the reason I agreed that this whole thing in the first place. I
8:22
look either just by you know, head injuries over the years or a fair
8:28
amount of alcohol abuse, whether here or prior, I'm not gonna remember a
8:33
whole lot of it. So I was, Yeah, I can't wait to
8:35
pitch the roast of Dni Melly next year, new material, and I'll say
8:43
it sounds familiar, but what I'm still not going to remember. Yeah,
8:48
we can just replay this show enough to be here. So he's basically just
8:52
me and a bar by myself watching a bunch of stuff on my computer.
8:56
Yes, okay, you normally hold Tuesday say and say, John, so
9:01
I don't need your judgment. Uh, these are loving nights. Uh,
9:05
and everybody here is gonna hear how much we love you and and roast you
9:11
and adah. I mean she channeled her in her person. Uh too,
9:18
I'm gonna keep so Anada from the Bow and Them Morning show. Uh where
9:22
I guess should we just call you them now? Yeah? All right,
9:28
so with them so and now identifies them from the Bow Show. Always great
9:35
to have Annie here. She's gonna hop on with us as well, and
9:37
she's gonna go up and roast and uh, honestly, of all of you,
9:43
you, Trey, Jerry, Anna is the most terrified because when we
9:50
were on the radio, you would occasionally flotus something out a little like what's
9:56
the saying they say it's to die by a thousand cuts? Oh yeah,
10:00
that's it on two legs, And she would occasionally say something on there It's
10:05
like wow, that was really sharp and funny and demeaning and mean to more
10:11
of it. Yeah, And then she did, and she really kind of
10:16
came into herself a little bit, like she's got a good mean streak that's
10:20
honestly find also fun. But I also think she uh definitely like I don't
10:24
know if you go to confession or I don't know where you go, because
10:28
she has such a hard time being being that what she doesn't the joy that
10:31
we get because we don't see it that often. I think she just has
10:35
to go somewhere and just like vent, there's a therapy, there's something.
10:39
There's a therapist, or there's there's a priest. Yeah huh, there's an
10:45
exerc like we're gonna get it over with the priest nicely done it. She's
10:52
possessing him enough. So there're also happened a little bit later. Looking forward
10:58
to that, I think I'm looking forward to forgetting it also coming up to
11:03
it. In addition to the gifts that I'm curious about, we've also got
11:09
something I wrote this morning because I was inspired. I don't know if you
11:11
guys, you probably don't remember this. It was at this point, it
11:13
was two Christmases ago. There was a book that's a book. It's a
11:18
Christmas story time book. It looks like it's for kids. It's got a
11:22
tow truck on the front, it's got a snow blow on the front.
11:26
It's a little animated cartoon book. And it looked feet but it's not.
11:31
It's called Hookers and Blows Save Christmas. I believe it does. And it
11:39
was nice to see how well read our audiences. Hey, it's under fifty
11:43
pages. We've all probably read it. We all have a shot. So
11:46
I had that book a couple of years ago. I read it on the
11:48
radio and it was really fun and it was funny, and and then I
11:52
forgot where I put it, or I left it in my office, you
11:54
know, a couple of blocks that way, and god, its what happened
11:58
to that? They may burn those there will know Jerry books that I heard,
12:01
Yes question, keep in mind there does I hurt burn books? Absolutely,
12:09
that's a good boy. I'm gonna make sure this is not your last
12:11
day in radio. I don't think. I don't think anyone but there can
12:16
find a flame because and you know, they're not paying for one the last
12:24
fort on trade. But so I was trying to find that book and I
12:31
couldn't find it, so then I ordered it on Amazon instead. It wouldn't
12:35
be here at the time, So that's when I am. And I looked
12:37
on Barnes and Noble and it it'll be here on December eighth, let me
12:41
see, Yes, just to make sure I paid for the expedited shipping.
12:45
The expedited shipping that was supposed to get her on December eighth, we'll now
12:48
be here on Tuesday. So I don't have Viockerson blow or the book that
12:56
was too easy? That was that was too So I don't have the book
13:00
to read, and I can't find a pirated version because Napster doesn't exist anymore.
13:05
So what I decided to do instead is rewrite Twas the Night before Christmas.
13:09
Yes, but it's not so much Christmas or I guess it's you know,
13:15
in the story, it's about the man waking up and seeing Santa uh
13:18
infiltrate his home like a home invader. And so instead of me waking up
13:26
and hearing all the clatter looking to see as that Saint Nicholas, instead it
13:31
ends up being Saint Trindholm. Yes, lord, no, you actually think
13:37
about pretty good? Yeah, the opening with me is terrible. Let me
13:43
I'll read like the first line or two just as a little little taste test
13:50
you switch over to my sir. Teaser. Like I said that, it
13:54
was just a little tease, just a little tea, something to wet your
13:56
whistle. So coming up a little bit later will be the newer rendition of
14:01
Towys the Night before Christmas. Towys the Night before Christmas, and all through
14:07
the tree house not a creature was stirring, not even ro Sharma's mouth.
14:16
You flipped me off from the stockings. The stockings were nailed to the wall
14:22
with some clumps of hair and hopes that's seeing Trendholm soon would be there.
14:28
Look, it's a treehouse, it's not all classy, but it is going
14:31
to be good. So we're looking forward to that. Yeah, that's just
14:33
a little teaser. Again, thank you guys for coming. In addition to
14:39
the shirts and all the other stuff for sale, we've also got on the
14:41
tables. You've got the venmo QR codes for donations to the Foundation. I'm
14:48
trying to make it a point to say this at every event we do,
14:50
and I fail at doing it during the actual shows themselves, but yes,
14:54
the foundation is still going. It's still going strong. The reason why you
14:58
have to add is it still going is because we have the luxury of not
15:05
having an officer or a firefighter fall in the line of duty to where the
15:09
Foundation would need to step in and do its job. The last time was
15:16
around this time last year, right after the show had gone off the air.
15:20
Was the last time the foundation wrote a check. And so yes,
15:24
the foundation is still going. You can still do donations using those QR codes
15:28
in front of you on the tables. And if for some reason you were
15:31
listening to this and not here in person, we will post new links so
15:33
you know where to go and get all that stuff in the future. So
15:35
as it is, we are at Shakerton's Midtown More, Dallas, across from
15:41
the Galleria. This is the Treehouse Podcast road Show, Christmas Party and Roast.
15:46
We will be back in just a little bit. We're gonna get some
15:48
food, We're gonna get some drinks, We're gonna be merry, and we're
15:52
gonna toast the nuts dot com this week at the Dallas Comedy Club in Deep
16:11
Elum. He's on Kevin Hart's Heart of the City on Comedy Central. His
16:15
special Have Fun is on Amazon Prime. It's Trey mac keyword is when a
16:22
woman is arguing, but in the middle of the argument she feels the need
16:26
to give you a language. Listen, even though she probably didn't graduate,
16:32
you never heard it before. The first of all, he think he running
16:34
something keyword think all because he's making a little money now key were. But
16:56
he better treat me right before I find a real man that does key were
17:00
because in a p that's Trey mact this Friday and Saturday, December fifteenth and
17:08
sixteenth at the Dallas Comedy Club. For tickets, go to Dallas Dashcomedy Club
17:12
dot com. That's Dallas Dashcomedy Club dot com. Your new home for comedy
17:18
in DFW is the Dallas Comedy Club. Funny Happens here list dot com.
17:37
All right, welcome back to Shaker Tents in Midtown for the Treehouse Podcasts Party.
17:44
God, that's a lot of words to say, but that's what I
17:45
called it like an idiot. A couple of things I want to mention that
17:48
I forgot to mention in that first settment, one of which is, in
17:52
addition to the old original spindle budle car being here outside, Uh, it
17:57
does look a little different than it did when we first slaved or model inside
18:03
that thing. It was turned into a Los Angeles Police Department squad car what
18:08
circa eighties something something like sort of like a teacher a hooker squad car.
18:12
Yes, so that's what's out there, Justin and his dad who brought it.
18:17
If you want to go outside and take photos with it, look around
18:19
in it, knock yourselves out. They'll be here for other twenty or thirty
18:22
minutes, so you can do that. He's also got some other interesting things
18:26
in that car, were like maybe stories we don't even know about. Honestly,
18:30
got it. The cars never looked as good as it does right now.
18:34
Also, I forgot to mention in we have rearched the right of Jerry.
18:40
That is our operation Santa Toy Drive benefiting the kids at the Warren Center.
18:44
If you did bring a toy and you haven't put it in the box
18:47
already, you can do that. If you have a toy and you put
18:51
it in the box, give me some time. And I'm sure some of
18:59
you were thinking, like, what's what's the one center? What is this
19:02
place and special needs kids? What's the deal? Oh, that's what it
19:04
is. It's a place that Tear my wife worked for a number of years,
19:08
and so it's the place that we know, it's close to us,
19:11
and we know the good work that they do in helping kids and their families.
19:15
So that's a key part. It's one thing to help the kids that
19:18
have special needs, but helping their families and the adjustments and challenges they're going
19:22
to face, it's a huge deal. And being able to give some of
19:26
those kids it even better Christmas is a great thing and we appreciate you guys
19:32
donating to that today, So thank you. And if you didn't bring a
19:36
toy or didn't know about a tom telling you just now, we posted a
19:38
link online. You can also go and find their Amazon wish list. You
19:42
can buy something. You can do it now if you want to on They're
19:45
Amazon wish list and we'll go right to them. So thank you again for
19:48
that. As it is, there are a couple of gifts that people have
19:53
brought us, which for some reason you do and we appreciate. Uh.
19:59
So, Keith, start with you. You brought something for Raj That is
20:02
that, Oh you got to get your wife? Okay, in that case,
20:07
we'll start with Diego. Uh that the gift? What's that? Is
20:11
that? The gift his wife? You guys are so generous. Congratulations.
20:18
Right, it's it's a Hindu miracle. Remember I saw I forgot to get
20:22
you a white elephant gift. You'll be a white guy gift and his wife.
20:30
I've seen this movie. It's called Ice White Shut Us great, So
20:37
I brought that up. I didn't have this on my notes today, but
20:38
I saw it online yesterday and this sething brain works. You mentioned Ice White
20:42
Shut. I saw something that I think I saw on Twitter x whatever.
20:45
It's called a gun Elon's thing. Okay, And since it's on there and
20:49
online, that makes it real. Yes, And that was supposedly so.
20:56
Stanley Kubrick made Eyes White shot with Tom Cruise Nicole Kidman, and then he
21:00
died very shortly after. Right. The thing that I read was that there's
21:04
a conspiracy theory, or maybe it's just a theory that it wasn't that he
21:10
just died a few days after finishing the film. It's that it was so
21:15
accurate the scene with the masks and the people and and the the other people
21:19
and the naked and all that kind of stuff, that it was so real
21:23
and so accurate that he was actually murdered because of it. Yes, So
21:27
you've heard of this. Yes, well your conspiracy theory, so that doesn't
21:30
surprise me. Have you heard of this? I have not heard that,
21:33
Tray. I mean, I'm sorry, Jerry. Have you heard about this
21:36
in your circles? None at all? So the Snills we didn't hear about
21:41
the We don't talk about Cuberic at all. No, in his murder circle
21:47
you murder? Yes, yeah, okay, Now do you put your uh
21:52
tin of toils in the center of the circle and then that's how you guys
21:56
started. Yes, okay, I believe it. I want to ask you
21:59
today if you had it. I think you were worried that you actually didn't
22:03
bring it. I was. I didn't remember where my purse was. That's
22:04
where I keep it, so it's here, Yes, it's where over there
22:10
leading there because I'm afraid if it gets any closer to Trey t he's always
22:18
Yeah. I'm just curious about a murder circles, a fitting diagram where you
22:23
know I can figure out where I fit. Is you wanting to join those
22:30
parts of the page or the outside? Is it you know? Is it
22:33
free to join? Is there with your application process? I know maybe this
22:37
is what a does you become club? Happy. You clearly mastered alcoholics Anonymous.
22:45
Yeah, do you get a twenty four hour murdered chip? Jerry's Jerry
22:52
still has not gotten his first chip? Oh you haven't, okay? Is
22:56
the twelve step this disposing of the weapon? Yeah? How does it go?
23:02
In steps? Like what do you? Well? Of course first you
23:03
have to select. In fact, you have to learn your talking procedures.
23:07
Oh, gotcha, okay, and you've got to learn how to prep the
23:08
room. So first, first you recognize you have a problem and eliminate.
23:14
You eliminate the problem. You eliminate the problem. Gotcha. It's just two
23:17
steps. It's two steps. This sounds really easy. So anyway, the
23:22
theory that are the the whatever it was that I read was that somehow Cogrit
23:27
was murdered for the movie Eyes White Chud say, yes, that is correct.
23:32
Scientology there was too much that there was too much truth between Cruise and
23:37
the Kidman relationship and the set like the Boops sets and all that stuff.
23:42
That So what you're saying is is that the kubrickt orgy scene is based on
23:48
a scientology orgy thing, correct, and that he exposed it that it wasn't
23:52
supposed to be exposed. Yes, but Tom Cruise is in the film is
23:59
most well known Scientology. This is what he This is the first time he
24:02
left when that movie came out. Was the first time he left for the
24:04
conspiracy theaters in the room. It's the first time he left Scientology. He
24:07
left that he's gone. Now he's not. He's not with them. Really,
24:15
Is that why he's still making the movies? Yeah, okay, somebody
24:19
knows. Uh, he's no longer with Scientology. So Scientology has nothing to
24:23
do with the Mission Impossible movies. Correct, But we can blame Scientology for
24:29
the Jerry McGuire, Yes, he needed a paycheck. He's also he's also
24:36
he's also he never won an Oscar and if you can, I think he's
24:38
okay, But I'm saying like because of the whole Scientology thing, like the
24:42
stigma behind it. He's only been nominated twice for Best Supporting Actor and never
24:47
the Best Actor, and he's never won anything. So he nominated for Best
24:49
Actor for Fourth of July. Yeah, best ye, Best Supporting Actor for
24:55
Vanilla Skuy Vanils Guy and what's a fugodnot? I was gonna say, I
25:00
if it Missa lives out in there. That's when I was good. Yeah,
25:03
but Jack Nigelson done one of the four a few good men over a
25:07
cruise. So that's how scientology works. You don't, I don't know how.
25:12
You don't believe any of this. I don't believe. It was just
25:18
how this. I've lived in LA for eleven years. I've the pamphlet for
25:25
next to the star maps. They kind of tell you like it's gonna cost
25:29
you. I was approached to level three. I've never never done level one
25:34
or two, so they were desperate for new members. They said, you
25:37
can tear skip my call of duty. They were just like seventy five hundred
25:42
dollars to do level three. And I was like, I haven't but I
25:45
haven't done one or two. So I'm like, can I can I start
25:48
with one or two? I'm like, we'll move you up. I'm like
25:51
you need to leave. Uh. And then I started asking questions about because
25:55
I'm not I'm not doing that. I'm not a crazy person. And then
25:57
they're like, oh, that's how so many periods of how many cures are
26:02
destroyed? And and then the two conspiracy theory came up about the whole group
26:06
of sex thing. Okay, all right, Well the second way into the
26:10
gifts. What do we have here? Oh my lord? What is this?
26:15
All right? So he's gonna be careful, guys, because anytime I
26:19
mentioned anything on the show, h robinettes right here, find a way to
26:26
make a gift out of something. So I don't know what this is?
26:29
Now? Okay, this is what is this? DJ? Yeah? This
26:38
is for you? What the second he's getting it? Okay, that's looks
26:44
like a T shirt? You look really he's not gonna do anything bad,
26:48
do you? Oh? The pack? Yeah? Oh shut up? What
27:12
it is? I don't know who doesn't get to skip? The sergeant that
27:18
takes a long time in the police department. Uh yeah, sergeant. I
27:25
started sergeant. I was reincarnated three pass lives ago. I was a I
27:32
was just a beat cup. This is amazing, brother, that's so sweet.
27:37
And there's one other thing you want to give me? Okay, okay?
27:49
Video? Yeah? Are you guys watching this? Just is its addicted
27:53
to the cow hoof video stuff? What is the cow hoof video? A
27:59
fair that goes out and yes, yes, right, so they just go
28:03
dig around and like that. Yeah, I can't stop watching it. Okay,
28:08
so far in the broken sentences that I've put together. Everyone is obsessed
28:12
with a cow getting a pedicure. It's like pimple popper, except it's cow
28:18
who's and they're taking out the stuff and they're cleaning up the who. So
28:21
let me let me give you that what you're missing? No, no,
28:23
no, no, I'm getting it. I'm surrounded by freaking morons. If
28:29
you're just off realizing that, that's a whole other issue. In my defense,
28:33
I knew that, but I didn't realize at what level. So that
28:37
was your profile morons Again, I didn't really like it. That was in
28:41
lowercase moron. Now we've graduated to all upper cases. Yes, so how
28:45
who's there's one guy he's called the hoof dog. Yes, but basically cow's
28:52
get a lot of abscesses in their hoofs. So that's where the ASMR type
28:56
thing goes. Is you watch it and they're oh god, so they as
29:00
Tom is the thing that's got in super detailed audio, so it's very graphic.
29:03
See the puff sporting out? Is this what? Jerry? Is this
29:07
what you watching? You go to sleep? Yes? Okay, so what
29:11
I'm scared to see? What? This is? Hilarious? Oh my God,
29:25
this is so he's got a lunch He's got a zip up and lunch
29:29
bag. You got a hoof? That's is that a cal a cal hoof?
29:33
Well you can touch it. You've seen you eat hamburgers. Yeah,
29:38
living for walked up to me. Oh god, and that these are peanut
29:45
butter flavor. I'd actually like this. Yeah. So so what you want
29:53
him to do is to jerk off with this stuff? Yeah? Because when
30:03
I watched him, like he's like, you see how dirty this is?
30:06
I'm like, how dirty is it? So? So now now it's now
30:10
it's gotten worse because if everything about this most recent conversation has not been atrocious
30:17
and terrifying, it makes me want to leave early now, not to mention
30:21
the thought of you masturbating with these things. Yeah, plus it's peanut butter
30:25
flavors off a dog walks. But now we're all thinking it the city.
30:37
Thank god I didn't invite him today. Actually I did. They just couldn't
30:41
make it. I'm glad. Oh wow, that is too much one into
30:48
that does not? Can he keep the box or nice? So in case
30:57
you want to count Jack on the road, Oh, how jack is?
31:03
That's been about five seconds ago. Very Christmas. Everyone, you're listening to
31:22
the tree House, listen to us online Treehouse on air dot com. Let's
31:30
talk to Daniel Cook from cook DFW Roofing and Restoration. The holidays are upon
31:34
us, It's almost time to break it all down for the year and enjoy
31:38
time with friends and family, and if I'm being honest, watching some really
31:42
fun holiday movies. So I'm curious, Daniel, what is your favorite Christmas
31:48
movie? Comedy wise? And just because of the the age I was when
31:55
this movie came out, it has to be National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Amen.
32:00
Brother, can't go wrong with that one. That's a classic, beyond
32:04
classic. And I mean it came out in eighty nine. It was just
32:07
a great time. And I love Chevy Chase. I can't I think what
32:13
he does and how he acts and his ability of making stuff funny. It's
32:17
just it's a really great, great movie. You can sit there and watch
32:22
that multiple times. And what is your wife's favorite Christmas movie? Same one
32:25
or different? You know she's I catch your watching those Hallmark channels, so
32:31
you know I catch her and then you know, you know how all Hallmark
32:37
movies are, you know, single woman or single man comes into town,
32:44
finds another person for some reason that was single, and they casually go to
32:49
dinner or have a drink and they figure out that they just fall in love
32:53
with each other and the movie ends. So you've got the formula. Sounds
32:58
me like you're ready to start producing your on holiday Hallmark movies. The only
33:02
thing I think we need to do is somehow incorporated into like roofing and remodeling,
33:07
so like they meet a roof for a remodeler and they could be part
33:10
of the you know, cook DFW team and they figure out that there you
33:15
go. Now that I think that would actually be the sequel to the movie,
33:17
because I you know, the first one is small town love Christmas thing,
33:22
and the second one is they've been married for a year now and now
33:24
they got to get a new roof or the roof caved in from a hailstorm
33:28
and they got to not only get a new roof, but also redo the
33:30
bathroom. And that's where, yeah, you're right, that's where it comes
33:32
in. And that's where cookdf W Roofing and Restoration has become a major player
33:37
in the Hallmark holiday scene. So give them a call. Eight three three
33:40
Cook DFW or cookdfw dot com. You're listening to the tree House. Visit
33:50
is online that Treehouse on air dot com. Thank you. We are finally
33:59
starting to look into I had to deal with refresh on the old internet box.
34:04
Welcome back to Shakerson's in Midtown. We are, of course the Treehouse
34:07
Podcast. We've got the toy drive benefiting the kiddos from the Warren Center.
34:17
We've got the merch that's available over here. In addition, behind the merch,
34:22
there's also Hayden from Spoke Custom. So you see a couple of things
34:24
on the table, like, uh, this cup, the blanket that's over
34:30
there. I believe you've got clocks that people can order. Wrapping paper.
34:35
Hayden really loves this wrapping paper, and I really can't undersell. I cannot
34:43
understated enough how much he seems to love this wrapping paper because I think one
34:45
of the first times he messaged us about trying to partner up and do some
34:50
merch for the show, He's like, you know what you need? The
34:52
train say wrapping paper? Yeah, And I said doing He said yes,
34:59
someone of their say so if you want paper, which obviously the holidays are
35:05
here you can have some nice Treehouse Podcast wrapping paper underneath your tree or since
35:09
it's not exactly Christmas specific, I'm not sure if Hindus give gifts something sense,
35:14
but you can do that. We just just don't replace the gas if
35:17
your own again, so thank you for that, appreciate and obviously you know
35:22
for birthday stuff, so it's good year round. So what I'm getting at
35:25
is Hayden back here can take orders on things for what we will run out
35:30
of over here because we're giving away a couple of these, so if you
35:32
want to get some orders in you can do that through HATED. So this
35:36
is the twenty ounce toddler with the Treehouse Podcast stick around it. You can
35:40
also get the larger one. There's the wine cup one jot if you want
35:45
the wine cup, and then like Stacy, if you want your your normal
35:49
like regular sized cup, he's got that back there as well that you can
35:52
order in addition to the blankets. Do you do you do like the really
35:58
big containers, So the thirty ounce for now, so it's big Stacy sippy
36:04
cup all uh. And we got the gifts for Rag which was both fun
36:14
and what uh. So we were doing we talked about the Southern Which episode
36:21
with the white elephant gifts. Yeah, I got for you guys, so
36:30
funny story about our white elephant gift exchange for today gift exchange. Oh you
36:37
didn't get the memo. Yes, that makes me feel less bad. So
36:42
I didn't have enough time to go out and purchase a gift for any of
36:47
you for the holidays, let alone for our white elephant gift exchange. But
36:52
it was your idea. Look, it was my idea to do the exchange,
36:57
to do the thing, to do the white ephant stuff, but it
37:01
was not my plan. Four days. I'm assuming that picked up in Florida.
37:07
Florida wins. Yet again, I'm making this up. I think it
37:12
half my drip in the bathroom. Yeah I was today. That has been
37:15
really good. But you came up with the price play. Well, how
37:21
much we would spend, I forget. I think it was twenty five dollars
37:25
is what we were. I don't even remember. I remember a discussion about
37:29
it, and then I didn't think there had been any conclusion to you as
37:32
a brown person that because I don't know. I'm Hindu, I don't know
37:36
what the white elephant thing is. I don't know if you guys remember the
37:38
episode Dan explains why it was called the white Elephant I did, Yeah,
37:45
yep, because I really don't remember that really about like the was it the
37:52
Chinese emperor would give would give people white elephants because they were so extremely expensive
37:58
to take care of. I think you're thinking about another podcast that's I don't.
38:02
I only do this one. But are you just gasolating me? No?
38:07
No, you said twenty five dollars, here's why, here's what why
38:10
it's called out because I didn't know what it was. And then try to
38:14
explain the rules where you can, like I didn't know the origin and in
38:19
order you know, but you said you can switch gifts, the gift switching
38:22
thing. Yeah, so that's that to me, is why, like you
38:24
said, like the white elephant, then like whenever whenever people do a white
38:29
elephant gift exchange, I think the one thing we can all agree on is
38:31
that no one knows what the fuck they're doing with white elephant gifts change.
38:37
I'm telling you right now, like you could go to five different houses in
38:40
the same day and do five different white elephant gift exchanges, and each house
38:45
is gonna do something more fucked up than the previous one. Correct, And
38:49
I'm going to be five very white households like you're going to thank you so
38:54
much for that you correct. Yes, you're visiting five very different white people
39:04
because what you're doing this is basically Saturday in Plano heroin. That's I think
39:16
that's the horse. Having lived in Plano for my middle school years and had
39:22
a number of friends that went to Plano Senior High School, and a very
39:25
good friend of mine was the shroom hookup, not the heroine hookup, because
39:30
he had stayed. So I'm I'm somewhat familiar with the drugs scene in Plano.
39:37
Okay, but no, I did not have time to get a gift
39:40
for a gift exchange, so my bad, I did. H we have
39:46
we have to mention diego getting you again, that's right. So I didn't
39:51
get a good look at it, but I did see what looked to be
39:53
a small bottle of contraband inside of a bar. Yes, so I'm assuming
40:00
it's some type of Jack Daniel's product, a high end proof try. I
40:07
know you manage a boy. I've never heard of anything that's one hundred and
40:12
thirty point seven proof. What a correct, look at everyone in the swing.
40:17
We're gonna take a sick I think I just want to look at you
40:22
take a sip. But I don't. I think this is how we murdered
40:25
the cult. So everyone just is bound face down here from the looks of
40:30
a Diego Dons had four cigs behind you. So it's one hundred and thirty
40:37
point seven or one hundred thirty point seven proof? Is the point seven really
40:40
necessary? I don't think the one hundred and thirty is necessary, but let's
40:44
put the point seven in. Well, I just I just wonder, you
40:45
know, in you know at the Jack Daniels distillery where they're making things like
40:51
maybe it was one hundred and thirty and they go no. Point seven higher.
40:55
It needs it needs that extra little bit we we had before at the
41:02
Eagle. Is that what killed the station? You're the one blames Diego.
41:12
I would have done that twelve minutes later this I'll call it back because I'll
41:17
call it back in the episode. All right, So if you want to
41:23
know, it wasn't iHeart, it wasn't Kelly Kidler, Don Davis, Pator
41:28
Davis, it wasn't anyone with my heart management. It wasn't what's his name
41:30
at the top, Bob. It was not Bob Bittman. It was Diego
41:35
with one hundred and thirty point seven proof, Jack Daniels that just murdered the
41:39
eagle. Yeah, and then we also know is this where your memory problems
41:45
beginning? Jokes on you. I don't remember he's been on the radio station
41:52
one thirty point seven. I don't even know what that station is. That's
41:57
the show that just sounds like I'm dyslexic. Cook my own resume because I
42:01
was one of three points. Wow, that's a that's a hell of a
42:07
tumor we just took. I just need to I just need you to,
42:10
like send a video you take, like even a full shot of one hundred
42:15
and thirty they we had anything that's wrong. I mean, got a couple
42:20
of hands again, what did you have? You what? What's what was
42:25
it? It was a whiskey okay, yeah, rubels like one hundred and
42:32
ten fu and that causes, I mean plenty of blackouts and problems for people.
42:37
I can't even imagine what one thirty is gonna do. That's what I'm
42:40
saying. I've never heard of that. Huh oh No, No, I'm
42:46
not drinking. I don't need to. I don't. I think that'll put
42:49
Rocks back in the hospital. We're good. I don't need one hundred and
42:54
thirty. I don't know. I think you're I think you had a seven.
42:58
I don't know what's happening. No, you know, don had for
43:00
he's popping and locking. I just don't. I don't know what the immediate
43:07
like when you take a shot of one hundred drinking an octaned booster, No,
43:14
no, octane boost was the sponsor of my little league team is right
43:19
there on the back. It's an octane boost. It's the assistant coaches.
43:23
Uh employer. Are you guys also taking notes down with a big bud pencil?
43:29
Well, it like it was baseball practice. Was a little bit of
43:31
a guiding practice. He takes the men field and then you're having to change
43:36
some oil and then you play some games on occasion. This is an octang
43:44
boost. Wow, that really brought me back. Yeah, thank you,
43:46
diego streighteningly strong booze. Oh you know you just gave me a very Uh.
43:55
I will let me ask if I can distract him for a quick moment.
44:00
Let me ask the the one police officer we have in the room that
44:05
I know as a police officer. Others of you may claim it, but
44:07
I don't know. There's only one that I know for sure, and that
44:09
is that is Steve Brutherford here from Farmer's Branch Police to Barbara. So in
44:20
your vast experience as a police officer, one thirty point seven proof, what
44:24
do you have? Thumbs up? Okay, thumbs up in the devil horns
44:30
out a boy. So in case you didn't know, you probably know what
44:35
you would. But Steve just gave you a great clue that that man is
44:37
retiring, very very stone Jar January fourth. How many shifts do you have?
44:46
Left? Shifts? Not shit? What you do on duty is your
44:58
You have to say duty, yes, twelve shift shift slot. Congratulations Steve
45:09
uh So. When the radio station is still there, obviously, so the
45:13
radio station was still by her. Radio is in the weird spot right up
45:16
the toll a and it's it's kind of Dallas, but it's mostly Farmer's Bridge.
45:22
So whatever crazy people would show up to the station, we'd have to
45:24
call Farmer's Bridge because they would come in and then they would sit next to
45:29
whoever work the front desk. To having police presence to protect us, and
45:36
that's how we met Steve and we just haven't shaken him since and we appreciate
45:44
it. And speaking of police officers, I'm gonna shift a little bit over
45:47
to the firefighter side of things. Jerry, you have a wonderful enough I'd
45:53
like you to tell everybody when you told me just a handful of minutes ago,
45:59
Oh Farris, when he hears this, my son Matt is now officially
46:01
a firefighter with his skates. So when Jerry told me that just a few
46:14
minutes ago, not only am I am? I so proud for him and
46:16
proud of his kid becoming a firefighter and clearly becoming better than his dad.
46:22
Well, I don't know if everyone remembers or even heard in the first place,
46:30
one Jerry's got a kid that's also go to be a firefighter, because
46:34
Jerry didn't know he had a kid up until a handful of years ago.
46:38
Now, how Jerry found out he had a child of such? You know
46:45
how old was he when he found it? I guess when he found ju
46:50
So that was twenty two when he found Jerry. The funny story is how
46:53
he found Jared. And the way he found Jerry was by tuning in to
46:58
The Eagle and hearing his dad on the radio, and so he called it.
47:04
He called in and Alfie screened the call, and Alfie said, more
47:09
so. He was a mechanic at the time. He was working on one
47:14
of his customer's cars. They had the radio tuned into the Eagle, and
47:19
we were talking about him having sent a message to the Eagles Facebook pitch.
47:27
Yeah. So we were talking about this contact that Jerry's long lost son had
47:30
made to Jerry on the radio, and his son just happened to be hearing
47:34
it while working on a car that was playing us. So then he calls
47:39
him, and Alfie comes to me and he's like, I got a guy
47:44
on the phone that says he's Jerry's kid. And about five minutes of me
47:50
laughing past and then I said, oh, you're serious, and obviously says
47:57
yes, and so is he. I said, there's no way this is
48:00
real. So then I got on the phone with this kid and talked to
48:02
him, and I was like, oh my god, this guy seems old
48:05
shit. So we do what we learned to do in that scenario from Old
48:09
boss Man, and that was we're gonna sand back Jerry live on the air
48:13
with this, and that's absolutely how it happened. We did it live on
48:21
the air, and that's how Jerry found out that he has a kid.
48:24
And then now how many years later Jerry finds out that not only did they
48:29
reconnect and they have a wonderful relationship, but now he's showing up his dad
48:32
by becoming in the ski Firefighter. So congratulations daddy. This is an episode
48:39
where we find out Jerry's ninety years old skincare skincare? Do you have a
48:46
skincare Benjamin, Please don't say lotion on the skin? I mean that is
48:53
part of it. But yes, a man let age. Okay, I
49:01
took French in high school, but I don't remember that one. That's a
49:05
skincare product. Oh it's a brand, yes, oh okay, yes,
49:08
I didn't know if it was like a style or some sort of I don't
49:12
know, like they still use a Kilda. Uh, that's just a crappy
49:16
T shirt brand. But that's the moist riiser. Because that's why I thought,
49:19
you man, it's only when I know he wake up the Marty.
49:22
You just kind of wipe the you know, the whatever off your face with
49:24
the T shirt. You live out your dad an age age? Yes,
49:30
yes, yes, how are you forty nine? Forty nine? Yeah,
49:36
these two are the same age. Yeah. See oh don't say oh,
49:40
Jerry will screw you right now. Yeah, I would throw toils at you.
49:45
They're in the bag. Forty nine You look great, Thank you.
49:52
I would have never guessed forty nine? What side of you is Asian talk?
49:59
Half? It was a good answer. That's a really, really really
50:04
good answer. How about coming up next, I regale you with the rewritten
50:08
twas the knife Folk. We will be back. We'll listening to the Treehouse.
50:24
Is it this online? That treehouse on air dot comm Let's get Jacqueline
50:30
from Brooks Plumbing into the Treehouse now. Their phone number for any and all
50:34
of your plumbing what's a need is two one, four, three six eight
50:37
thirty eight thirty eight the website Brooks Plumbing Texas dot com. Since it is,
50:42
you know, the holidays, when things completely slow down in time for
50:45
a couple of days off. Is there a certain Christmas movie that is your
50:49
absolute go to, your favorite, the best of all time? Of course,
50:52
the standard answer for me is going to be Christmas Story because that just
50:54
warms my my little heart. There's so many good one liners in that movie.
51:00
And I love that movie. But I'll tell you every year when I
51:02
decorate the tree. There's a very old Christmas movie. It's got Humphrey Bogart
51:07
in it, and it's called We're No Angels. And there's a couple I
51:10
think a couple remakes, but We're No Angels the original with Humphrey Bogart.
51:15
It's him and two other convicts who have escaped from Alcatraz Prison on Christmas Eve
51:20
and they are looking to rob somebody to make some money to take a ship
51:24
off of Alcatraz Island and they fall in with a very nice family. It
51:28
doesn't have a strong Christmas vibe, but it's because it's on an island,
51:30
so that should resonate with you. Maybe you should watch it. But it's
51:35
based around Christmas and the characters are easy to love. So if you like
51:40
old movies, We're No Angels. But if you like the tongue in cheek
51:44
humor and you want to get to know my family really well, it's definitely
51:47
Christmas story because the dynamics of that family is speak speaks to my family.
51:53
I love that movie gets you right in the nostalgia doesn't it, And I'll
51:57
tell you so. It was shot in Cleveland, which is where my dad's
52:00
families from originally, which is part of the reason why we love it so
52:01
much. But that house, the Christmas Story House, is still up with
52:05
all the original furniture and you can take tours of it. So if you
52:07
ever go to Cleveland, go go to the house. It's super cute.
52:10
That's very cool. Give Jacqueline from Brooks Plumbing a call for any and all
52:15
of your plumbing once and needs, especially right after the holidays, because,
52:16
as we've said before, it's gonna happen. You're gonna have friends over,
52:20
you're gonna have family over, and they're going to do something to ruin your
52:22
plumbing. So give Jaqueline a call. They can help you take care of
52:24
it and do so, probably not in a pink bunny outfit, but they'll
52:29
still they'll still show what I'll give you. I'll give you twenty five percent
52:31
discount if you show up if you're in a pink bunny costume when we get
52:35
there. Twenty five percent. Oh okay, I was actually talking about like
52:38
Oliver or one of your wrangler, one of your guys showing up as the
52:42
pink bunny. But if a customer does it then you want to give them
52:44
twenty five percent then hell yeah, yes, but they've got to be able
52:46
to willing to stand in front of the truck with the plumber and take a
52:50
photo. So yeah, twenty five percent off if you wear the bunny outfit.
52:52
Give Brooks Plumbing a call two one four three six eight thirty eight thirty
52:55
eight or Brooks Plumbing Texas dot com. You're in the Treouse, visit us
53:04
on the line at Treehouse on air dot com. Welcome back to shake you
53:13
tins here midtown across from the Galleria. Everyone's over there slumming at Christmas shopping,
53:20
trying to take photos of that big ass Christmas stream when they could be
53:22
here with us having lots of fun. People make choices, and there are
53:27
consequences to choices, and so there are a lot of suck here Treeouse Podcast
53:35
Christmas Party Awards. Uh. If you have not signed up for the ratful
53:38
for the blanket and the cup and the stickers, please do so. You
53:42
can write your first and last name, drop it in the bucket and we'll
53:45
do that drawing here in just a little bit. We have the roast of
53:51
meat coming up in just a July am you have. I'm just the host.
54:04
I'm just facilitating how much love everyone has for me. That's all it
54:08
is. Yeah, you've clearly redefined the word love it is. How is
54:15
that a sign of affection if it's a roast? This is looking really bad
54:20
for you, Dan. There's a reason why I said earlier in the show
54:27
that of all the people I was worried about roasting me, it's Anna da
54:30
Horrow And here she's telling me. She's like, no, motherfucker, we're
54:34
gonna get it. Well, Robert said, you need to tune into your
54:37
inner asshole. Yes, and first of all, just to hear Eda horror
54:42
say the word asshole. How you know, but it still came from the
54:50
heart. Yes, it is, just to hear her because it's fantastic.
54:54
So I did get the again, like I said earlier, and say,
55:00
everybody within thirty minutes of each other was like get that email. Yeah I
55:04
got it, you read it? Yeah, what do you think? So
55:07
right? So I can do the whole thing. Yeah, and then dance
55:10
the same thing. It's like, can I say almost please do everybody's gonna
55:15
be an asshole Team that's the whole point of gast uh. And so I'm
55:19
excited that I can't wait because nobody is expecting. I'm actually, do you
55:24
have to light figure out who's going to win? No, I'll just call
55:29
I'll just call h. So yeah, well yes, well the three of
55:31
us your last, because it's your rust. Yeah, the two of us
55:36
and Jerry. Uh. And then I should go last. You should go
55:38
last? I should No, No, he's the he's the guy. Oh,
55:43
I should go early on because I'm gonna suck you will, I'll think,
55:46
So I need to make sure that you go last. Jerry and I
55:52
at work where I was like, what are you doing? But every time
55:55
I come up with an idea, I go, that's too mean. Yeah,
55:59
how much does it suck to be surrounded by a bunch of EU station
56:01
talent and you can't talk to anybody else about comedy writing except Jared? That
56:07
doesn't suck at all. Fifty people around you, you didn't talk to any
56:13
of them about it. I wonder why Roberts first that makes sense, told
56:21
me go to YouTube, go down that rabbit car. Oh yeah, like
56:25
after eleven. No, he's gone before eleven, he's gone before ten.
56:31
To two, but in a different way. Trust me, we've been I've
56:37
run into him at Lava Cantina, Oh yeah, several times. He is
56:40
my favorite human being. And I ran into bout Roberts at when we were
56:45
living in the trailer a couple of years ago. We ran into bou Roberts
56:49
at the is it the Oasis Marina? It was at the Oasis Marina.
56:52
That was where was we were living in that time, between houses. And
56:57
there's the the Marine in a bar that sits there on Lake Louisville. Tar
57:02
and I are sitting outside and this guy walks in and I'm like, I
57:06
nudge terribly. That looks an awful lot like bo Roberts, huh. And
57:10
I just said hey. He just looks up. He's like what yeah,
57:15
And next thing, you know, for the next hour and a half,
57:16
Boat would not stopped buying this fireball. Ye fire ball. He goes,
57:22
Man, you gotta see this fan and I'm talking about Mama Contina. He's
57:25
like, you gotta see this fan called the Cruligans. I was like,
57:29
yeah, the Monty Croup cover band. Like I love him. I was
57:30
like, yeah, you've seen him. I was like I was standing next
57:34
to you casino, Like for real. I was like, you got the
57:40
same thing. I'm like, I don't drink fireball, like like one another
57:45
fireball. I haven't had one. I don't know. I makes sense why
57:51
why Jim retired and Bow still working because if he's the wrong radio Yeah,
58:02
Jim punched out. He's like, man, I'm all paid up. I'm
58:05
good. Jim was five years older than Pop. Oh really yeah, okay,
58:10
the same age. But that's kind of what morning radio does to the
58:14
body. Their show starts at six, but they would get to the station
58:20
at two thirty in the morning. I can tell you in the mornings where
58:24
we'd come into the breaker and there is you know, bout Roberts in there
58:29
with the morning paper cutting out articles that he wants to he's old school.
58:35
And a couple of times where we said, you know, oh, there's
58:37
this thing called the internet, and he just went like, We're like,
58:44
all leave him alone. He's happy. Yeah. I think the first time
58:46
I came in uh to do promo for a show with the approval, and
58:52
he looked to me at one point like, so do I find you on
58:53
the my Space? I'm like, that's still not a thing. You might
58:57
want to just do facebook. Yeah, just take the baby, step up
59:00
the face, don't shock him too much not to I bring I bring big
59:07
goods. Yes you does, I'm telling him, Yeah, I gave that
59:10
up for Lent. Yeah, I'm try. I don't know what you I
59:15
don't know what Lent is about. Lint is only supposed to be for forty
59:17
days. So when when Anne is telling you she's she's observing Lyn and it's
59:22
October, she's lying. Okay, So then that was the last time I
59:25
brought prisons, It's like it's lint. I'm like, ah, it's me.
59:30
I don't know if this works, but here you do. I knew
59:34
you wouldn't know every Lent Alicia, all right, so I'm gonna do this.
59:44
So obviously we got the roast coming up, and it's gonna be an
59:46
absolute threditor at it. I'm sure Trey is gonna go, Roger's gonna go,
59:52
Jerry's got some stuff, and Cindy House our whiskey fairy. She is
59:57
going to be the listener representative and us, and so she is going to
1:00:07
be taking part as well. Before we get to that only last thing I
1:00:09
wanted to do before we end this portion of the Treehouse podcast broadshow Christmas Party.
1:00:15
I really should have edited the words day on that a little bit.
1:00:19
But whatever, I wanted to share with you a Christmas classic that I've decided
1:00:25
to tree house, and that is twice the night before Christmas. So here
1:00:32
we go me twas the night before Christmas, and the computer went to sleep
1:00:38
mode. There we go, that creature, you shut up? All right?
1:00:47
Here we go here, here, here we hear twice the night before
1:00:52
Christmas, and all through the tree House not a creature was stirring, not
1:00:58
even Raj's mouth. The stockings were with some clumps of hair, and helps
1:01:05
that Saint trinhole soon to be there. The dogs were nestled they'll snug in
1:01:10
their beds, while visions of cat turns danced in their heads. And Terror
1:01:17
and her kerchief, and I in my cap had just sailed her veins after
1:01:22
a long berd sorry for a long vodkadnap. When out on the roof they
1:01:29
were such a clatter. I fell out of my bed to see what was
1:01:32
the matter. Wait at the window. I stumbled to a crawl, tore
1:01:37
open the shutter and fell into the wall. The moon on the breast of
1:01:42
the new fallen ice and snow sucked. Her comes from seration to an all
1:01:46
time work. When what to my wondering eyes should appear but a miniature sleigh,
1:01:55
an eight tiny reindeer with an above average driver. So angry and alone,
1:02:04
it must be Saint Trinhall more happy than his coursers. They came,
1:02:10
and he whistled and shouted and called them by name, not Dasher, not
1:02:15
to answer. Now Princer and vixen on Comet on, Cuba on Conner and
1:02:20
Daisy. See Santa's got Rudolph, Trey's got Daisy, as Dreknchuala to the
1:02:30
top of the porch, to the top of the wall, till the sweat
1:02:32
drips down Santa's balls. Now away, dash away, all so up to
1:02:43
the treehouse top the courses they flew with a sleigh full of stupid and Saint
1:02:47
Trinham too, And then twinkling I heard on the roof the prancing and pine
1:02:52
of each little hoof. As I drew in my head and stubbed my toe
1:02:57
on the couch down the fires, the Saint Trinhulm came with an ouch.
1:03:02
He was dressed all in leather from his head to his feet, and his
1:03:07
chaps were turnished a bunch of stupid he had flung on his back, and
1:03:17
he looked like a panhandler just opening his sack. His eyes sleep deprived,
1:03:23
his dimples how scary, his cheeks were like, walked across his nose like
1:03:30
a pumped cherry. His droll in his mouth was drawn like a bow,
1:03:36
and the skin on his chin was as white as the snow. The stump
1:03:42
of a vape he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke inserted his
1:03:45
head like a wreath. He had a butt face and a mostly tight body
1:03:51
that rippled when he laughed, and his ass not too shoddy. He was
1:04:00
fit and right. Twink and I'm stiffing what I saw. A wink of
1:04:11
his eye and a twist of his dick's head soon gave me to know I
1:04:17
had nothing to dread now. He spoke not a word, but went straight
1:04:24
to his work and filled all the talkings. Then turned like a jerk,
1:04:28
and laying his finger inside of his nose and giving it a pick up the
1:04:33
striple hole. He rose. He sprang to his sleigh to his team,
1:04:39
gave a whistle, and away they all like going down on a thistle.
1:04:44
But I heard him exclaim when he drove out of sight, Happy Christmas,
1:04:48
you cunts. Then it's in the same boat.