Latest / Crafted Connections / EP 44: SOLO - A Softer Way to Set Resolutions

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EP 44: SOLO - A Softer Way to Set Resolutions · Crafted Connections

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, welcome to Crafted Connections.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Kaila Calhoun, and this is a podcast all about storytelling and building genuine community.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: Here we'll dive into the art of storytelling, unpack strategies for making meaningful connections, and hear from incredible humans who are using their story to create impact.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: So grab your favorite beverage, settle in, and let's craft some connections.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, welcome back to Crafted Connections.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm really happy you're here.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Today is a solo episode.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: We are coming back strong into the new year, and this is the first solo of the new year, so I'm excited to share some thoughts.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: I am so grateful for anyone who hits play on this podcast.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: I was talking to my assistant editor the other day.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: It is a total labor of love, and it's also giving me crazy tons of joy.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm also obsessed with it.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm only getting more and more excited as the podcast continues.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, you know, having a new calendar year on it just feels significant.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm I'm celebrating that every freaking moment.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: So today I will be doing a solo episode.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Just me, myself, and I talking to y'all about uh resolutions.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: As many do, I have a complex relationship with resolutions.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: They haven't always been the healthiest thing for me.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I really I keep trying to like figure out like when was the last time I established or like set a resolution for the new year.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it literally I can't remember because it was something that I just needed to say goodbye to, never do again, uh, until this year.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: For some reason, some of my intentions, they just feel resolution feels like the right word.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's kind of exciting to come back to a word that I did enjoy setting them in the past, right?
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: It just became a little bit too intense.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: To give an example, my relationship with food, eating, my body image, all that about 15 years ago was horrific.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: And resolutions were not a healthy component of that.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so to step away from them, uh heal those parts of myself, and then come back and be like, ooh, it can be a fun tool is kind of exciting.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: So we're doing it in a soft way.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: It definitely is a synonymous resolution intention kind of journey.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: But I really, really want to share them, the resolutions with you all because you are my community.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: And and I hope that you connect with some of the ideas that I'm putting out here today, and that you also be soft with yourself and take on the year in whatever way feels best to you.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: When it comes down to it, it's it's what feels best for you.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: And to me, this year, for some reason, three specific resolutions really were popping out to me in the last 30 days of the year.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Hey y'all.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: You know I love telling stories, gathering stories, and finding a way to help people connect their story with the people that will get it.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what my story strategy sessions are all about.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: So over at Calhoun Creative Consulting, my strategic storytelling firm, we do one-on-one and or facilitated workshops in relation to really honing in the strategy around your story.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's a bit of messaging meets content creation, meets storytelling, and then how do we put that out in the world?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: How do we show up regularly?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: There's a bit of mindset work around it, right?
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: To actually tell your story.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: Whether you're launching something new or trying to rework your brand or just feeling a little foggy on how to communicate with your people, this is how to get clear.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: We'll dig into things like your narrative, how to uncover what matters most, maybe map out a few content pillars while we're at it.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: You'll also get a recording of our session so you can revisit the conversation anytime you like.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Let's shape a story that actually feels like you.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: So book yours today.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: There is a link in the show notes.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: And hey, while you're at it, use the code podcast, all caps, P-O-D-C-A-S-T for 25% off your session.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: I would be honored to spend time with you and suss out your story.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Let's dive back into the episode, shall we?
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so the first one I've got on my list is something that I spent a lot of time on last year that I want to just be like, goodbye, no more.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Most of these intentions that I've set for myself are very like, hey girl, you gotta stop.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like me talking to me, being like, stop, stop, stop.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: You keep doing this thing, you don't like doing this thing, stop, right?
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: And the first of these is the perfect example of that.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: And that is to stop applying for full-time jobs.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: My version of Doom Scrolling last year was the LinkedIn jobs tab.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think there was a level of it, it was comforting, it was junk food, it was, you know, I've been working for myself for over nine years now.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not getting a full-time job.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's just not, it doesn't, it doesn't work.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's not what I want.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: And it really conveys mixed signals to everyone around you when you are leaning into that.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Make signals to myself, right?
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: The promises I'm making to myself, putting outwardly that I've I've got this business, this podcast, these services.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: And then I go and in my like downtime or like not so great mindset, you know, where's my head at?
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: When my head's not in a great place, that's when the rabbit hole begins.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just confusing for everyone, mostly me, which is what these resolutions are for, right?
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm tired of confusing myself.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: I think I'm confusing myself.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: I think I'm confusing my contract with the universe.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm getting super, super clear to stop applying for full-time jobs and fully commit to my business.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: If you were to ask me last year if I'm fully committed to my business, I might have said, yeah, totally.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: But then if you like dug, it's like I'm I wasn't, right?
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: I it was very transitional because I closed my former business and I had Calhoun Creative Consulting as a very transitional placeholder while I was closing things out with my former business.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: It was hard to like just plant myself.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: But as of a few weeks ago, I officially have my LLC for Calhoun Creative Consulting.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Everything with teardrop is there are like maybe two or three threads, but nothing that's like consuming space, right?
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: And so I wonder if, you know, me last year in that transitional space was like, is this what I'm meant to do?
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: Am I am I meant to take on some sort of full-time opportunity?
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: There was a lot of me that felt like that was that would be something supportive.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I just want somebody to take care of me, was the phrase I kept saying.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: And ultimately, that's not what a full-time job is.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's not something where, you know, you're just the image that comes to my mind is almost like someone tucking you in with a blankie, but that's not what an employer does, right?
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it's been a while since I've had one that wasn't, you know, on a contract basis.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: But I think that's what the thought was and the feeling I was going for that was behind it.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: And ultimately, that's not what I would have gotten.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: And even, even the interviews that I ended up getting and and going down that road, I found myself as I was thinking about the position that I was up for or got like to the second round with, I was thinking to myself, I was like, oh, okay, well, this is the time commitment for the job, so I can spend time doing this, that, and the other on my business.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: I basically wasn't daydreaming about the role that I was up for.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: I was daydreaming about how to utilize my time, delegate what I need to do in order to still keep my business going.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so if that doesn't tell you that you need to just like stop with the distractions and fully commit to the business, I don't know what does.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm simultaneously being soft with myself about this, but then also being like truthful and telling myself, this is what's up, this is what you're doing.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Stop.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Halfway ain't it.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I know so many solopreneurs out there experience this, especially as a solopreneur, especially when you don't have W-2 employees or or long-term contract employees.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: I think it is hard to not daydream that the grass is greener on the other side.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a lot of things, especially in in my case last year when it was transitional and there weren't a lot of, I didn't have a crazy ton of subscriptions set up.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: I I didn't necessarily have all the ducks in a row for the new business yet.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: So there's a world where like the door was still open, right?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm really excited for this year to officially close that door and turn all my rays of sunshine directly to this goal and this intention and this thing that is giving me a lot of joy and a lot of purpose keeps me challenged, right?
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: And also I can't help but just think about it all the time.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, so that is number one.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, stop applying for full-time jobs, you silly fool.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: To say it nicer, stop applying for full-time jobs, sunshine.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: You don't deserve it.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: That's not what you want.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's all good.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's totally a thing that can be for some people, but every time, every time, it's not right for me.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: And it's I'm wasting, you know, I'm wasting my time, and then ultimately everyone else's time, and ultimately it's not the direction I'm meant to go.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: So let her go.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Let her go.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: This next one I'm really excited about and probably the most scared about.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: My next resolution is to nurture more friendships completely unrelated to my work and career.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: I don't really know when I've ever done this unless you're talking about my childhood friendships.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: It has been even in college, a lot of the friendships I was nurturing were ones either anyone that I was like in class with, I was like becoming friends with.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: There were not a lot of people that weren't in the video production space or weren't in a class with me at some point that I didn't nurture that friendship.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: Historically, I have not been great about hobbies.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I've got some lovely friends that I know through running.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, uh this particular intention came from last year we were living in my friend's rental in her backyard.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: This is a childhood friend that I reconnected with in fall of 2024.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Frankly, when Phil and I really didn't have a lot of options, and I randomly posted, hey, we're putting the boat in storage, we need to go live somewhere, we don't know where.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: We're not going to California was basically what I put out in the Etherm.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: So, hey, we're looking for a place to stay.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Let us know if you know of anything.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know if I told anybody, let us know if you know anything.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: I think I might have just literally been like, we gotta find a place to stay.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: Period.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Super, super random, random post in my stories.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: And this childhood friend that I played soccer with reached out and was like, hey, I don't know if this is what you all would want, but you know, we've got this duplex in the backyard and the upstairs is available right now.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have an oven, doesn't have and she was like, she was trying to talk me out of it.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: I was trying to talk her out of it.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: But all to say, I'm just so grateful it played out the way it did because I spent six wonderful months in a childhood friend's backyard, rekindled that friendship in a way that I'm just so, so grateful for.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I took an improv class in the area.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: I went on daily walks with this friend, got to know her children, and it was just such a special, special thing that I could never have set out for myself and I would have never given myself.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: I think working for myself over the last, you know, nine plus years has really hindered my ability to not think of every relationship as a network or, you know, this this podcast, Crafted Connections, is a softer version of how I approach the networking and my work and and the the relationships that I build.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's less rigid, like it, like it was for probably the first eight years of me working for myself.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: But ultimately, I I don't know how.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know how to do this because I'm just I have this heavy pattern of being like, oh, you you do the work I do, let's talk about it, right?
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get coffee.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: And it's been a very long time since I've been like, let's be friends, let's go to coffee for the sake of just connecting as humans, but not let's just be friends, right?
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: I I've always had this extra layer of like, let's collaborate, maybe we'll work together, maybe I'm a potential client, maybe you're a potential client.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to see what happens in my life if I take that away or call in connections and relationships and conversation that have nothing to do with moving my work and career goals forward.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: I found it once, and I'm still talking to this friend all the time.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: We love a voice note, and I'm really excited to nurture that more.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: I think I've expressed it already.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: I have no idea how to do this.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: People talk about making adult friends all the time.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's like not that easy.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: But, anyways, I don't exactly know how to do this, but I'm gonna practice and I'm gonna try and I'm gonna iterate, and uh I deserve it because all my friendships are genuine, all my relationships are genuine, but having it with without any like film of ulterior motive other than just like pure joy of spending time together has just been so good.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: And and I want to make sure that like anyone listening who I am friends with, the way I approach relationships has been very conditional.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so while the relationships that have grown from a base of having a similar interest in our work, uh similar goals, similar like professional or like collaborative desires, those have blossomed into wonderful, like no ulterior motive to be seen friendships.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: But I know that making a connection that had none of that has really only yielded amazing things in my life.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just always giddy when I hear from this friend, and I just want to give myself more of that.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope that makes sense.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I would love to hear your thoughts because I think everybody is out here doing their best with friendships, and it can be tricky, tricky sauce.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I think it's gonna be really good for me, and I'm very, very excited, and I appreciate you listening as I verbally journal that out.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not completely clear on how to do it, and um, I'm willing to try.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: So we will see.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Let me know.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: I would I would really love feedback on the on this particular portion.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, final, final thing.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: Super, super simple one, but honestly a little bit more resolution-y in the traditional sense than the other two, and honestly gonna be one of the harder ones to kick.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: But let's put it this way I want to no longer have the TV on while I sleep.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: When Phil and I met, he was a sleep with the TV on person.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: I did not do this before our relationship.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: But I have found, now that we've been together, I don't know, eight-ish, nine-ish, ten-ish years, it's hard to do math.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: I find myself talking to people and being like, oh yeah, Phil has the TV on while we sleep.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like, when I go away for work, I turn the TV on in the hotel.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: When I, you know, visit my parents and Phil stays with Gonzo, I have the TV on.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: I sleep in the guest room one night because of snoring, and I still find a screen and turn it on.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: I go to bed before Phil.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: I turn the screens on.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: The screen is always on when I sleep.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: And for the like the last maybe 18 months, two years, I have noticed that I blame it on him, but ultimately there's a lot of opportunity for me just to turn it off for myself.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then if he wanted to come in after I've gone to bed and fallen asleep already and turn it on, whatever, that's not something I can control.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: But I do notice that I am blaming him for something I can control.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: And ultimately, I do want to cut that out.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: In the past, I have not necessarily had the mental capacity to push myself in this way.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: I've always been really good about a morning routine, but this is kind of like a foundational piece of a nighttime routine, and I'm excited to try it.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: And like I said, it's probably gonna be the hardest of the three in the sense of like it's the most clean cut, and I honestly will know whether or not I succeeded at it, right?
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: Well, okay, the first one don't apply for full-time jobs.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like if I can go a whole year without applying for full-time jobs, huzzah, we did it.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: But ultimately, the TV before bed one feels like the hardest.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I'm wrong.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe one of the other two is harder.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, in the case of just like breaking a habit or this, that, and the other.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: I don't really know.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: But number three, no TV while I'm sleeping does feel pretty rough stuff.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, we'll see how it goes.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: I do think it's just gonna be a healthier thing for me.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: There's a bunch of science behind it.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: You've heard it, you've listened to podcasts, you see the Instagram posts.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Screens are really not healthy for us.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: We're not really supposed to have them that much, especially when you're sleeping.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, literally, it's when the sun isn't up.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: What are you doing, Caitlin?
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: So that's where, like, to go back to my point, like the girl stop.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: Girls stop.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: You don't, you don't need to be doing that.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's what that one's all about.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm also still giving myself the like when I have a particular day that like turning my brain off is hard and I just kind of need to lean on, you know, that vice, I will, but ultimately it's knowing that it is a vice and I have recalibrated my life in a way where I do have the space and capacity to just see if like the first hour I can't fall asleep without it.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then okay, if we're at the 10, 30, 11 mark and I can't fall asleep, then you know, okay, we can turn it on.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: But it's just being really gentle.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope you feel that.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like, while yes, there definitely were like some self-criticisms in today's episode as I talk through those three resolutions.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you feel how loving they feel to me.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's like when we're we're trying to like take care of ourselves or make a change, like in my own experience, it has only led to like hurt and pain when I when I'm saying mean things or like approaching it and like harsh with myself in a change because change itself is already disorienting, right?
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: So, why do you need to be an enemy of yourself while you're doing that?
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where like I do feel much safer um setting resolutions this year.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm super excited to attempt the following this year, which is it's so doable.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna stop applying for full-time jobs, y'all.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need it.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Business is good and it's just getting better.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, what am I doing distracting myself with that?
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine the amount of time I will save, whether that be just me relaxing, right?
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then number two is nurturing more friendships that are completely unrelated to my work.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's gonna be so cool where that goes.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I might even be taking a girl's trip in the spring in relation to all that.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: So, yay! And then finally, super simple one is not having the TV on while I sleep.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: So let's go.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for being here, 2026.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for being here, wonderful listeners and friends.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: I am so pumped for what is to come.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: I've already said that, but I'm gonna say it again and again and again and again because it's going to be a fantabulous year.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just lucky to show up on the mic, to have a microphone, to talk to you, and then have the internet to publish it and and get into your ears.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: So please let me know what you're trying to do for yourself this year.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: What are you, what are you feeling?
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: How do you feel about resolutions?
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's also like such a big debate, right?
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'd love to love to hear that as well.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: All right, well, goodbye for now.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: I will talk to y'all next week.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for being here, and I hope that you have a fantastic rest of your week.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: Crafted Connections is lovingly produced by Calhoun Creative Consulting, a strategic storytelling firm dedicated to helping people and brands tell their stories in a way that resonates.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and connect with us on Instagram at Crafted Connections Pod.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: Keep creating, keep connecting, until we meet again.