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☀️ Ennea-Summer: Enneagram 2 The Helper · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Simply Wholehearted Podcast with Amy Wicks, your wholehearted life and business coach.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: You should know this podcast will inspire you to grow in self-awareness, be passionate about your faith, and get clear on your calling.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you are new here, then welcome to the community of multi-passionate women who love to go deep on topics like faith, Enneagram, relationships, leadership, and community.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: This conversation might provide the step you need to make the change you desire.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: So let's get started.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to discuss an upstream practice that encourages soul care.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'll feature a powerful story from a wholehearted client who is also a wholehearted coach.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then wholehearted coach Deanna Sudum is going to conclude with a prayer that focuses on nurturing their own needs.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: If you know an Enneagram 2 or are A2, I hope you take notes and share this fun and easy way to learn all about the nine Enneagram types this summer.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And don't you worry, if you're on a jog, doing the dishes, or driving around, you can look at the links in the show notes to download the guide sheet for your type.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Here's a quick snapshot of the Enneagram 2.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: A two's core fear is being rejected and unwanted, being thought worthless, needy, dispensable, and unworthy of love.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: The Enneagram 2's core desire is to be appreciated, loved, and wanted.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Their core weakness is pride, denying their own needs and emotions while using their intuition to discover and focus on the emotions and the needs of others, confidently inserting their helpful support in the hope that others will continue to need them and express their things.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: The Enneagram 2's core longing is that they're wanted, needed, and loved.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: So let's talk about the Enneagram wings.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: These are the two personality types on either side of the primary personality type.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: For instance, the wings for the type 2 are the type 1 and the type 3.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: One of the wings is sometimes used more than the other, which just brings a new dimension and depth to the primary type.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: You can think of it like salt and pepper is to a potato or cream and sugar is to coffee.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: The wings just add flavor to the primary type.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the main type dominates a person's perception and experience, but the wings influence, and that's why it's worth noting.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because there are internal conflicts that might arise, and it's also important to note what childhood wounds may be associated or even impact the use of our wings.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: These little insights just help bring awareness so that way you can experience greater balance and experience forward momentum in your life.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: The Enneagram 2 Wing 1 tends to be more idealistic, reasonable, objective, self-critical.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: They tend to serve quietly behind the scenes, and also might hold a little bit more judgment.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: The Enneagram 2 Wing Three is often more self-assured, charming, maybe more of a flatterer, a little bit more ambitious and outgoing, and competitive.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's talk about the Intelligence Center for the two, because the Intelligence Center helps us better understand the decision-making strength.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: The two's decision-making strength is associated with what is known as the heart triad, which means they primarily react with their feelings when faced with the situation, and then they integrate physical sensations and thoughts into the responses.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: The lead emotional struggle within the heart triad is often shame, and that significantly influences their thoughts and actions.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: The heart triad is also characterized by a profound desire for significance, which is driven by a need to be acknowledged and esteemed by others.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Specifically, the Enneagram 2's significance is found in being the most helpful and most supportive person.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: The Enneagram 2's communication pattern or preference falls within the dutiful stance of the Enneagram, and this means that they tend to come alongside others.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: This looks like being attuned to what others need, want, or even expect of them.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: The positive intention of those in this communication stance is that they want to work alongside the ideas or visions of others or a group.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: This communication pattern types might get more frustrated or overwhelmed by those who they deem too pushy or are even non-responsive.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: The three Enneagram types in the heart triad struggle the most with boundaries needed in relationships and the workplace.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Their strength, though, is being present focused because what happens at the moment informs them of the right now.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: They tend to recognize what is unfolding and then invites others to experience it with them.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now, have you seen those unique lines in the Enneagram diagram?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: They're crossing over each other, making nonsensical shapes.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Well, those denote lines of stress and growth.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: So here are the details about the lines specifically connected to the Enneagram 2.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: When reacting under stress and without awareness, the Enneagram 2 goes to the low or average side of the eight.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: This means helpful Enneagram 2s will suddenly become irritable, defensive, more controlling, maybe even demanding and dominating.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: They may even blame others for problems while seeing their intentions as only good.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: When an Enneagram 2 responds with purpose and intentionality and does the growth work, they can exhibit the high or healthy side of the Enneagram 4.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: They're more nurturing and compassionate towards themselves.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: They become more aware of their emotions and even begin to emit and accept painful feelings, including anger, sadness, and loneliness.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, your starting point doesn't have to be your step point.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: When an Enneagram 2 practices rhythms of consenting to solitude, the practice teaches you to be present to yourself, God, and others.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Consent is an act of agreement, how you will give or posture yourself.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of giving yourself to everyone else, you posture yourself towards God.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: And this opens the door to encounter Jesus, the true servant.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Brokenhearted moments can be transformed into wholehearted healing as they declare these truth statements over themselves.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: May I offer love without strings attached?
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: May I receive unconditional love?
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: May I love myself by tending to my needs.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: When an Enneagram II intentionally engages in rhythms of consent to solitude, they agree to get alone to stop pleasing everyone.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: They can withdraw to solitude to be present to God rather than please God.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: And this opens the space to be filled with God's delight that they crave and serve from a place of wholeness.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Author A.J.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Sherrill advises Ennegram2s to observe the church calendar rhythm of Monday Thursday.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Monday is derived from the Latin word mendatum, which means command, because the command that Jesus gave during the Last Supper was to love one another after he demonstrated by washing the disciples' feet.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: If you remember or know of the account in the Gospels about Jesus washing the disciples' feet, you may also remember that Peter resisted Christ's act of service.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: There's a whole lot there to unpack, but ultimately what a two needs to remember is while they may resist receiving and they're more comfortable with autopilot serving habits, their invitation is to let others serve them and wait for the invitation to serve.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Now I am so excited for you to meet a wholehearted client who is also now a wholehearted coach.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: In this series, you're getting to meet a lot of coaches.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: I promise that just because you become a wholehearted client, it doesn't mean you often become a coach.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: But I do love sharing about the coaches that go through my mentorship and just have the opportunity to celebrate the hard work they've done, both in their personal and spiritual life, but also in developing their coaching process.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: So, Sue Nicodem and I have gotten to know each other over the last several years.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: She is a real gym, and I have just adored getting to know her in an even greater way through the mentorship program and even when we got to spend some time together in her hometown of Chicago.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm excited for you to dive in, so I'll stop talking and let Sue take it from here.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_02: And here is my wholehearted story.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a pastor's wife of a growing church in the far west suburbs of Chicago.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I first heard about the Enneagram from a friend at church.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_02: My first reaction after reading about my type in the book, The Road Back to You, was shock and humiliation.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_02: I was clearly a type too, a person who loves to help others.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought my style of helping others, if I'm being honest, was the way to do so.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, what's more important than people?
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_02: Listening and caring, encouraging, serving them, even rescuing them, and sometimes overhelping.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_02: I subconsciously felt that I was a superior Christ follower and minister to others.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: When the light was shown on my sometimes not so noble motives for helping others, I felt called out.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_02: For indeed I was made freshly aware of my longing for approval and appreciation.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_02: I woke up to my need for being wanted and loved, and that sometimes my service to others was in order to achieve that.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_02: I could veer off into people pleasing and even flattery, a subtle way to manipulate people into liking me and thinking I was all that.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_02: King David's prayer in Psalm 19, verses 12 to 14, started to become my daily prayer.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_02: Who can discern their own errors?
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_02: David writes, forgive my hidden faults, keep your servant also from willful sins.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_02: May they not rule over me.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_02: And I would pray, Lord, help me discern my own motives.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_02: Show me hidden faults and blind spots as well as the willful sins, and don't let either rule over me.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_02: Interestingly, at the time I first learned the Enneagram and my type and these insights about myself, I hit a milestone birthday and I was on a mission to memorize the book of 1 John.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_02: In so doing, two scriptures spoke to my deep need as a type II that were game changers.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_02: 1 John 3:1 declares, See what great love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_02: And that is what we are.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_02: God's lavish love is what my heart was longing for.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_02: I needed to see it, as if reaching a mountain peak and seeing the breathtaking view.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_02: The other scripture that is a regular mantra for me now is 1 John 4, 16.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: As the Apostle John's thoughts continue, he writes, and so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_02: We know it experientially, we rely on it daily, letting it be enough, no matter if I please people and help them or not.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_02: You see, this is true self-care.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_02: To see the Father's lavish love on me and to know it and rely on it, he's the savior, and I'm not.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_02: That truth fills me up to truly love and care for others.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I distinctly remember having been taught as a child that putting myself last was the way to joy.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_02: But I translated that into self-care is bad and meeting my own needs was selfish.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_02: When actually taking time to fill up on God's love, to care for my body by eating right and exercise, to finding time for fun and friends, was actually the way to love others better out of a place of health and wholeness.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_02: So Enneagram work has really shone a light on this truth.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_02: It has also helped me in my marriage and in other relationships.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_02: I now have a greater appreciation for how my husband uses his gifts and personality type to love and serve others, even though it looks different than mine.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_02: I'm able to cut family members and church members slack as I learn about their Enneagram types and understand what motivates them.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'm becoming less judgmental and more understanding by having been coached and by becoming a coach.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_02: I can now put on different lenses to see the world as the other types do, and that has brought further humility and compassion and understanding, which are in fact the building blocks of unity.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_02: Now that I am a coach, I find myself on this adventure of helping others discover their strengths in the Enneagram number as well as blind spots that hinder their relationships.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_02: I'm seeing it make a difference in marriages and in parenting and on the job.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_02: I love coaching leaders in team building with the Enneagram, whether it be within a church or a company.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_02: So thanks for listening to my story of self-discovery as a type two through Enneagram Coaching.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_02: To learn more about my wholehearted story and my speaking, writing, and coaching, I'd love to have you visit my website at SueNicodeem.com.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_02: And maybe you too can know and rely on the love that God has for you in Christ.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm so grateful for Sue's story, and I hope that you are as inspired as I am.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: As you can tell, she is really dear, and I so appreciated her teachable, humble heart.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, we are all broken.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: We are all blowing it.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's the brave one who does something about it.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: Now, Deanna Sudim is going to share her prayer and blessing for the Enneagram 2.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: Type 2 friend, you have been created to reflect the love of God.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: What a picture and a call as you represent his love so naturally to a world that so desperately needs him.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: You are some of the deepest nurturers, intuitive to the needs of others, sometimes to the detriment of your own.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for how you pour out selfishly, with your whole hearts serving those around you.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: You are some of the best cheerleaders, connectors, and companions for people.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: Ephesians 5, verse 2 is a good reminder where you need to be poured into before you can go out and share the love with the world.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: God is the one that gives you the fragrance you need.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_01: It says, Therefore, be imitators of God as dear children and walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling aroma.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: Father, thank you for these sincere, generous, sacrificial ones that you love.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: Lord, I feel that you want to remind them that you are love, the creator of love, and it is meant for them too.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: Lord, will you help them to receive this and fill up their tanks overflowing into a reservoir?
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: Father, show them how they are wanted and loved by you.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: The King of Glory sees their needs and longs to meet them.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: Lord, bring joy through their selfless acts, and where there are underlying motives to do to get, bring them gently to the light and encourage them to submit them to you.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: Father, I pray that you will protect their tender hearts, that you will give them wisdom like serpents and keep them innocent as doves.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: I pray that you will send them a barnabas, the encouragers, Lord, that will breathe your life and truth into the places in their hearts that have been or feel rejected, someone to affirm their worth in you.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: Father, bring discernment when they see a need to determine whether it's theirs to meet, and bring contentment in the profound privilege of making a difference in people's lives where you call them to.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: Be their confidence, their courage, and their endurance, and remind them that you will go ahead of them and never leave them nor forsake them.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: In Jesus' name, amen.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: As we wrap up this discussion on the Enneagram 2, may you carry forward the spirit of radical soul care and remember to prioritize your needs along with those of others.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: Let the stories and prayers guide you to a healthier rhythm where you can give and receive joyfully.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: And join me again for more empowering episodes this summer.