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June 19 - Strength Through Surrender · The Daily Ripples Podcast

• 0:04
  Welcome back, everybody, to the Daily Ripples podcast. I am Pastor Mike,
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  and I've got with us here today my co-host, Corey, as well as our special guest,
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  Memphis, who was with us yesterday, and he's going to be with us for a few days.
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  And Memphis, how are you feeling so far in this run of episodes?
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  Plan to be back. Really enjoying it. I think I'm getting my legs underneath me.
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  Well, there you go. Yeah, well, we enjoyed having you the first time around,
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  and we're enjoying having you again, that's for sure.
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  Well, let's get kicked off here quickly with our daily devotional for June the
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  19th. It's Strength Through Surrender. The Stone.
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  What feels like defeat can become the beginning of strength.
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  When I stop fighting what I cannot control, I open the door to something greater.
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  Ripple One, Practical. Today, I will be honest about where I need help.
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  I will not let pride keep me stuck. Admitting limits is not weakness.
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  It is the first step toward real change and growth.
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  Ripple 2 is spiritual. Christ showed that surrender leads to life.
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  As I trust the Father, the Holy Spirit brings strength out of my weakness.
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  When I release the need to control everything, I begin to experience a deeper
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  freedom and a renewed sense of purpose." Well, guys, I have a confession to
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  make on this one for today. All right?
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  And that confession is, and I hope that, you know, my wife, Cristi,
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  my beloved BabyLu, as I call her, I hope she's listening in today for this
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  confession and this admission.
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  But this part about not being controlling or releasing the need to control everything,
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  she probably wishes that I had learned that about nine years ago,
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  to be honest with you, or at least, you know, nine years ago or prior,
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  because when we first got together.
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  I was coming out of a period of time in relationships where I felt as though I had been controlled.
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  And so I was not going to be controlled by any woman, you know.
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  And so I went into our relationship probably more assertive and more aggressive
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  than my normal nature should or could be.
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  And we had a lot of headbutting, you know, early on in the relationship because
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  we were both, you know, trying to be the alpha at times.
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  And I had to learn this part all over again, things that I'd already learned
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  through recovery about my alcoholism.
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  But I had to apply these principles in all my affairs at the same time and realize
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  that sometimes, you know, in a relationship, especially,
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  in a close interpersonal relationship that eventually led to marriage,
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  that there are times when I just have to just let go, you know,
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  and give up that control and let it be what it is, you know.
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  And it says that, you know, whenever I release the need to control everything,
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  I begin to experience a deeper freedom and a renewed sense of purpose.
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  And that has been true because, you know, my purpose in this relationship is
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  not to always be the boss or always be in control. My purpose is to be in love
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  with my wife and to experience the love that she has for me.
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  And those lessons that I can apply at home are lessons that I need to apply
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  out in the world and with everybody else and everything else that I come into contact with.
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  That's where my thoughts initially went with this one. And I'll save on some
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  of my scripture angles to see if Corey covers some of those,
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  you know, for us like he did yesterday.
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  But Corey or Memphis, either one of y'all want to jump in and kind of where this one takes y'all.
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  This might be my favorite subject or probably was the biggest impact on me in recovery.
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  You know, it wasn't until when I had to figure out how to surrender.
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  That was, you know, I could say the words and I don't know how many times that
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  in my mind I thought I had surrendered.
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  And this went on for several years after I had taken my last drink or used the last substance.
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  I just couldn't figure it out. Now, part of that was due to my lack of a relationship,
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  with the God of my understanding.
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  And that took some time for me to develop because I wasn't, because of my past,
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  I didn't want to be real honest.
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  And, you know, and I had a lot of fear.
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  But at the point where it did get to a crossroads in recovery and I was starting
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  to feel like that the rooms of AA weren't working that they were letting me
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  down that they were failing me,
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  there's those words, failing me it's all about me but,
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  I was going through not just a tough time in the rooms but in a tough time personally,
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  because of a close relationship,
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  and it was probably the best thing that ever happened to me that I got to the
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  point where I said to myself,
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  I've said all the words, and I've done all the actions I can do,
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  and I have prayed in every way I can pray.
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  There was just nothing left that I could do, and it was at that point.
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  In some ways, it felt like defeat, but that's not the way I chose to approach it.
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  And that's when I asked God, I was like, God, show me out of a love without getting my way.
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  Show me how to do this. And it was that point that I felt, truly felt like I
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  surrendered, that I, at that point, was willing to trust God with everything.
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  Not just bad things, but good things, things that I cherished,
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  things that were important to me.
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  And it did introduce a level of freedom, as we talked about yesterday, in my life.
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  And it started building much better relationships with her and not just with
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  her, in all my relationships.
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  It's the most impactful part of my recovery was my surrender.
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  And I wrote down here, surrender is not defeat.
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  And I think that we have been trained as young people for so long,
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  even when I was in the Marine Corps.
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  Never surrender. Never surrender. Adapt and open up.
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  All these different things, that's not the surrender we're talking about.
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  We're talking about surrendering to God's will.
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  And that's such an amazing story. I love it when you share in meetings about
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  that because, and you hit on it, it did not just change how you interacted with her.
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  It changed how you interacted with everybody. Because when you were going through
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  that, I was watching it in real time.
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  And that's really when we started becoming friends, you know,
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  because that that period of growth for you introduced that that,
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  you know, humility into your program, into your life, into your recovery that
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  had been somewhat missing before.
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  And it was a it was a wonderful thing to witness and to see,
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  you know, as you grew along those vines. Corey, where does this one take you?
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  Well, I agree. You know, I mean, that I agree with Memphis and I agree with the whole thing.
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  And, but, you know, I, you know, I've had two times in my life that have been
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  this most utterly defeated place, you know, a couple, probably more than that.
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  But, you know, I think I look at them as more like turning points or,
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  you know, I think about one of the times, you know, when I attempted suicide
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  and then another time, you know, when I contemplated that and contemplated everything in my life.
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  And, you know, those are two times right before I walked in the rooms of recovery. Right. And so.
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  You know, I've been thinking a little bit about this. I might go for a little
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  bit of a rant. I've been thinking about this actually all day today.
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  But, you know, I come into these positions, right, and I come into this utterly
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  defeated, and like on page 21, it says, we perceive that in the 12 of the 12,
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  it says we perceive that only through utter defeat,
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  are we able to take the first steps towards liberation and restraint.
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  And so, you know, I was thinking about how they kind of outlined the deal In
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  the 12 and 12, I mean, not in the 12 and 12, in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous,
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  in the approach way to another alcoholic.
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  So on page 96, it says, suppose you now are making your second visit to a man.
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  He has read this volume and says he is prepared to go through with the 12 steps
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  of the program of recovery.
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  Having had this the experience yourself you can give him much practical practical
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  advice let him know you're available if he wishes to make a decision and tell his story,
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  and so what i you know when i think about that right well what's the decision,
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  and you know they move things a lot quicker in early times they they weren't like you know meet,
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  meeting for an hour and i was talking to a dude you know they used to probably
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  they brought you in and they probably sit they would sit down with you for four,
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  five, six hours and knock this stuff out.
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  Because they look at how vital it was. So when I think about that decision and
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  he's ready to tell his story, you know, so, you know, we talked about it before,
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  but, you know, just a decision, like on page 64, it says, just a decision without.
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  Has little permanent effect and less followed by strenuous effort to face and
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  get rid of the things in ourselves which have been blocking us.
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  So that's leading up into the fourth step.
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  And then on page 75, and I was just thinking about how these kind of connect
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  and wanted to get these thoughts out of my head so that I don't have to worry about them anymore.
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  But on page 75, it says, carefully, you know, this is after you return home
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  from a fifth step, right? And that was telling his story.
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  And I think, you know, the way this outlines is kind of important.
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  It goes on to say, taking this book down from our shelf, we turn to the page
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  which contains the 12 steps.
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  That's page 59 and so carefully reading the first five proposals ask him if
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  we've omitted anything and so i'm looking at the first five proposals,
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  have ever have i omitted anything in there have i omitted anything am i powerless
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  from drinking alcohol am i is that so you know and i think that's an important
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  place because i don't know about you guys but i've listened,
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  to some fifth steps, and right afterwards, those dudes went out.
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  And so I think about that part, right? Maybe they came to that conclusion at
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  that place that, hey, man, maybe I'm not.
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  And I have no idea. I'm not them. So I go through this.
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  I look at the first five steps and see where I'm at. And then it says,
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  for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man.
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  We were talking about free man yesterday. and yesterday. Yeah.
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  Is our work solid so far? Are the stones promptly in place? And they're talking
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  about the cornerstone and the keystone.
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  You know, we're talking about the second step and we're talking about the third step.
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  And then it says that we skimped on the cement putting into the foundation.
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  I think that's one of the most important parts, too, because,
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  you know, without fellowship, without common problem and without common solution,
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  like it talks about on page 17, it's nothing.
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  And, you know, I get to this place and I was just thinking about how quick they
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  went through it in the beginnings. Right.
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  And I was thinking about what I give to dudes today. hey, like,
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  dude came over yesterday for an hour because, you know, my significant other,
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  she went to a meeting, right?
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  So I had an hour of time. I can sit down and read. And tomorrow night,
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  same deal. I got a dude coming over, so we have an hour.
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  But I was just thinking, you know, man, am I.
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  Am I, you know, and that's all the time I can kind of arrange because I do have
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  a family and I do have a job in this.
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  But, you know, when it talks about on page 24, it kind of gives you a timeline.
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  And I don't know if y'all realize that it tells us, tells me that's the only timeline in this book.
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  And I'll hear people like our friends at WAAGL say, time's on your side. I don't think it is.
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  This is my opinion because it says with a week or a month I'll tell you the
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  exact thing because this is something that I feel passionate about,
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  it says we are unable at certain times to bring into our consciousness with
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  sufficient force the memory of the suffering and the humiliation of even a week or a month ago,
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  we were without defense against the first strand and so I got this timeline,
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  And I'm just, you know, and then this dude goes out, right?
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  And then my excuse to the group is, man, he wasn't ready yet.
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  And like, you know, I don't know. You know, I come into that place and I was
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  just thinking about those things and how they connected.
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  But yes, when I surrendered to me, it was a very vital thing.
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  It was a very forced position that I think only God could have put me in.
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  Because you're on page 21. Also, it says, as it is truly awful to admit that
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  glass in hand, we have warped our minds into such an obsession for destructive
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  drinking that only an act of providence can remove it from us.
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  And that was an act of God. You know, it was by the SWAT team and some other things and the.
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  All these different scenarios led into that moment. But yeah,
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  I think it's the most, surrender is probably the most beautiful thing.
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  That's the first time I've ever said those two words together.
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  I'm sitting here in shock, you know.
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  If we listen to some of these episodes from a couple of months ago,
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  I think there's been a progression there.
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  But it's funny, you know, I was sitting here thinking about that because you
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  mentioned several times in that, and I think Memphis, you hit on this when you
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  were talking about it too, is that these things that have been revealed to us
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  have been revealed to us by our higher power.
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  You know, sometimes it's the higher power speaking through other people,
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  but my pride and ego was such that, you know, I can't listen,
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  you know, Corey, if you tell me something, I'll discount it.
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  Memphis, if you tell me something, I'll think you don't know what you're talking
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  about. But then, you know, in my quiet moments of prayer and meditation,
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  when God reaffirms it, then I'm like, okay, I got to listen to it now.
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  But I also think back to one of the hardest things in today's Daily Ripple,
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  you know, as we round the bench toward the end here, is that it says in the
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  practical, the first line is that today I will be honest about where I need help.
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  So I think that we need to be honest, you know, about where we need help in our lives today.
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  And for me, where I need help is sometimes in the motivation,
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  you know, whenever I wake up in the morning and dealing with those negative
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  thoughts of, you know, why bother, you know, why get out of bed, what have you.
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  I got to have the motivation to immediately, you know, as Corey,
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  as you said, go into that mode of prayer, you know, right away.
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  And that's where you help me with your example of that.
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  But how about you guys? What's an area where y'all need help today?
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  I think there was a time that I came to you and I told you that the side of
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  my recovery that I struggled with was the God side, the spiritual side,
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  which is why I reach out to you.
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  Because if I look in the beginning of, in the first several years of recovery,
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  there was a lot of ups and downs for me.
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  And what I noticed, and I wrote this down, but what I noticed is once that true
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  surrender happened for me and I had established the God of my understanding,
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  the one that I wanted to trust, even if I didn't know how, I wanted to,
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  that was where that surrender turned into the foundation that carries me.
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  And from that point on, there's been the ups and downs or just they're not as, I guess, deep or as high.
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  It's more of a steady, it's been a more steady development for me.
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  Because it is, it is that I have the foundation of surrendering and knowing
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  that all my guidance is that I am getting that from the God of my understanding.
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  And I think even, you know, with relationships, I think people understand that's
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  where that's where that's my resource.
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  And I think there's a trust that this in that in inevitably happens in your
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  relationships because you become more consistent.
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  So definitely, definitely got my strength through surrender.
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  Corey, how about you? What's something that you could be honest about where
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  you need help either today or where you've experienced that in the past?
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  Man, I didn't know I was going to get questioned.
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  Yeah, I don't know, man. You know, I find everywhere, you know,
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  we've talked about this before and I come to these places some days and I think about,
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  You know, what area am I not inviting God into my life in?
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  And I have this page in my big book. It's on page 87.
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  And one of them, I don't know which one it is, but I was listening to Joe Hawk.
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  And he said something about, you know, if God was your girlfriend, would she be jealous?
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  And like, I felt like, you know, because I have been someone that I wasn't disciplined to.
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  And just right now on my path, right at this moment, I am. But,
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  you know, that can change at any moment.
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  But, like, I think, you know, to that degree, like, you know,
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  if God was my, I mean, I just think about that. In what areas do I not bring
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  God into? And, you know, in that one point it was finances, right?
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  And at this point, you know, it was funny, you know, when I was dropping off
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  my son, man, what I did, And it's crazy what I did.
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  It's actually kind of probably not what someone would recommend.
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  But after I got heated and all this stuff.
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  I handed him his vape back. And I took a picture. I took it back from him.
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  And then I handed my Bible to him.
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  And I said, now your freedom is under my hand. Because I have this picture.
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  And I will ruin your line.
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  So start with the book of James and write a report on the book of James.
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  Anyways, but, you know, anyways, but like that to me, what is like my best way
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  in that moment of coming would bring God into it. Because, man,
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  you know, I think about who I was.
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  And I don't know about, you know, you, Memphis, but you seemed like a wild child,
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  too, like me. And there was nothing stopping me.
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  You know, I had to have a divine intervention from every different direction in my life.
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  And so that was the best thing I had at the time.
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  You know, when it comes to parenting, we're all just doing the best that we can.
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  That is for sure, you know, and taking things a day at a time as they come.
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  Well, let's close out our prayer for today. Father, help me surrender what I cannot control.
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  Through Your Spirit, bring strength from my weakness and lead me into the freedom
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  found in Your Son. Amen. Amen.