Latest / Giving Pain Purpose with Lyndsay Soprano / Passports + Parasites

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Passports + Parasites · Giving Pain Purpose with Lyndsay Soprano

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This is Your Pain Game podcast where we talk about the game of living in
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and with chronic pain and trauma, get into the heart of how to heal.
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I am your host, Lindsay Soprano. On the show, I plan
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on discussing with doctors, chronic pain patients, holistic practitioners, loved ones,
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and anybody that is interested in having their voice heard in the chronic pain and
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trauma world that we live in. I was diagnosed with CRPS, which is
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called chronic regional pain syndrome. And like I always say, it sounds fake,
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but it's not. But I was diagnosed with CRPS in the summer of
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twenty seventeen. Seems like fourever ago, but health concerns of mine were already
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firmly in place prior to that diagnosis. We just couldn't figure out what the
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hell was wrong with me right And then at the same time, it was
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two months after that diagnosis, I was in my backyard. I was temporarily
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in Austin, Texas, and unfortunately I had to put my first dog I've
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ever had down in my backyard and I was laying on a blanket with my
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other dogs and my at this point past dog and all of a sudden,
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I felt this like bite on my ankle, my right ankle, and I
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didn't really know anything outside of I'm in Austin, Texas with somebody I don't
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love anymore because it was a mover dorse and my dog just died. So
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and I was diagnosed with this really rare disease. It was just an uplifting
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kind of an October. But within that moment, my health declined significantly,
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and we thought it was my CRPS because people don't really know what CRPS and
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all the weird things that it causes, and it can act like you've been
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bit by a bunch of bucks. Right, there wasn't really any connection between
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this random bite and my health declining. So here we forward to last year,
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in twenty twenty three, right towards the end of it, and I
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was diagnosed with lime disease and a multitude of coinfections with lime, an EBV
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viral load that is like goingto a tool concert, and hpylori and like a
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million other gross creepy things going on in my bod. And so now I'm
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faced with the same question that I had when I was diagnosed with CRPS,
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Well, what the fuck do I do now? Because I still don't have
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many answers for CRPS and here I am seven years into this, right,
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So how do I kill these nasty ass parasites that are having these late night
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parties and these early morning bar mitzvahs keeping me up? And quite frankly,
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they're eating me alive. I mean I quite literally my Sweedi and I will
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be sitting on the couch at night and I'll say, look at my legs
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right now, and we call the wormy squirmys in my house. You will
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literally see like ekey, weird wormy crawl things going through the veins of my
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legs. It is so dis disgusting. Insert my guests today she also has
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a story to tell about wormy squirmy things and it's nuts talk about parasites.
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I mean, she cares so much about this episode. Today she literally turned
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off notifications whether or not her children were picked up if they're cared for it.
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So thank you for doing that for us today, Lindy, Thank you
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so much for having me. Let's talk about these puppies right, so it's
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out further Ado, I would like to introduce you to my beautiful guest today
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Vashti Connor Haley. Hi, everyone, it's so nice to be here today.
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Oh my gosh. We had to perform your name because it is such
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an interesting and beautiful name. But we had to get it right, you
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know. So. Vashtai is an author and functional medicine practitioner who literally exudes
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a profound passion for exploring diverse cultures, get ready and embracing IMMERSI of experiences.
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Her triumph over lime disease, hashimotos, and complex chronic illnesses has fueled
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her determination to empower others on their healing journeys, which is why we're here.
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Her experiences have shaped her holistic approach to health and wellness. Her practice
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is dedicated to seeking the root causes of disease. So let's get down and
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dirty here. All right, I'm going to roll out the red carpet for
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you, babe, and I'd like to start talking about your husband for a
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second, as a diplomat, and how that led you to live as a
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foreign service spouse, travel abroad all over the world. Your experiences are insane.
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Let's hop into your resilient parasitic journey. Sounds like a plan. Yeah,
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So, I recently wrote passport and parasites, which is the story of
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the last fifteen years of my life. But to go just a little bit
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further back, I met my husband, Craig in early two thousand and three
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ish, not really, but mid three. We were friends and then we
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got together. Later I did this crazy thing where I moved across the country
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to DC from Seattle on a whim. And here we are fifty years later,
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or like twenty years later now. But he he is in the Foreign
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Service, and he's a special agent for the Diplomatic Security Service, and so
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as part of the Diplomatic Corps, we moved to different embassies and consulates,
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the US embassies and consulates around the world every two to three years, which
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led me to great adventures that a small town girl like myself never really first
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saw myself living. And adventures and a lot of heartache and a lot of
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hardness actually, but you know, so it's it's been amazing and hard and
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I wouldn't have it any other way. Well, okay, so your travels
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started. When when did they start? They pretty quickly when you guys got
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hooked out, Yes, yes, exactly. Well, we it was like
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a little bit of time. Actually, I had gone. He had gone
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to Iraq, and I could it in two thousand and four or five,
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and I wasn't able to go with him at that time. We were dating,
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not married, and I had gone to Thailand to teach English and work
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in a health clinic, and so we that's kind of like when my travel
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started. We came back to the States and then in two thousand and nine
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we went to Iraq, and that was my first time overseas as a foreign
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service spouse. Was being literally like dropped into the middle of a war zone.
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Yeah, and that sounds super easy and not stressful at all. Auto.
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So I was like, we flew in from a mom Jordan on a
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C one thirty, which is a military aircraft, and we landed and we're
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like quickly escorted to a helicopter, a black Hawk helicopter, and I remember
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I get in the jump seat and I'm like, what the fuck am I
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doing here? Like literally, what did I sign up for? You know,
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there's like a gunner, there's you know, we're doing evasive maneuvers just
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to you know, make sure that ground fire isn't coming in, and you
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know, there we were there. I was, yeah, I'm reading your
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book Passports and Parasites, right, which I did, and I dogg out
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every other page, of course, because that's how I love to read.
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I am going and as you guys know, listen to the show, I
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read a lot in my sona when I'm doing my meditation. Blah blah,
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I'm reading this going. I don't know how you did any of this,
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Like you are nuts. And I see that with all of the love in
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my heart that I have, because I couldn't do this stuff, not a
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chance, not because I'm afraid, not because I'm afraid, but I'm like,
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Nope, that is not for me. There's way too much dust for
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starters, lots of dust that would find its way in no matter what you
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did. Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere. Yeah, and I'm such a clean
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freak. I can't even imagine what that would feel like and what that would
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be like. But the stressful environment that you guys were in all of the
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time, and all of these crazy amazing places as well. But man,
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I've got to give you massive props for doing and also thinking you guys both
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for your service. But what in God's name do you do as a spouse
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there? I know what you did, but can you tell our listeners that
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you know, sure, Yeah, way I could go was if I got
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hired to do a job that normally an officer would do or something like that,
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a foreign service officer because they were short staffed. Spouses could apply,
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but you couldn't have school age children or anything like that because they didn't want
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both parents going, you know, to a war zone with school age children
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or anything like that. So I applied for and received a job in the
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General Services Office and not going to go into all of that, you know,
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the nitty gritty there. So I was able to go and accompany him
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because I had a job. Like if you didn't have a job, you're
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not going and like just hanging out in Bagdad, but just another night in
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Baghdad. Yeah, we weren't hanging out anyway. We were working twenty four
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to seven, which is just powerful the course. But it was the start
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of just chronic stress in my life, which you will see throughout the story
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of of you know, my life here. It was always this chronic stress,
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which we know. I now know. I didn't really realize that our
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driver is a driver of disease, really, and so we have a stressed
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society which is no wonder that people are sicker and sicker and sicker. But
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you know, it was so stressful because we had incoming fire. My husband
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is a first responder, so he would go out. I would be sitting
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in the bathtub with my body arm. We're on for like hours at a
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time, unsure how he was, where he was, you know, and
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things like that. And we couldn't go anywhere, And that's another stressor.
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It's like you're on a compound with people day after day after day. We
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could we would occasionally go over to this other compound for a different kind of
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dinner, you know, like just change it up a little bit. But
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there were no grocery stores. There were there was nowhere to go. I
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mean, it was the green Zone, but it's still a war zone.
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Yeah, and I can't imagine that war zones are epic places for you to
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try making babies. But this is what you two decided to do as well.
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In the midst of all there, we decided it was time to start
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thinking about it. You know, really what would that look like? And
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we decided to hold on there because I would have to leave if we were
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pregnant. Obviously being pregnant in a war zone is not ideal. So when
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we moved to Beiru, which was our next place that we went right after
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that, then we started, you know, thinking, Okay, we're gonna
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have babies, and of course naive I was like, oh, this is
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gonna be easy. No, it was, no, how could that.
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It's not easy when you're like just chilling. I'm not a parent, so
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I can't speak to it. I can only speak to what all my mother
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friends of mine talk about. But it's not easy chilling in Los Angeles raising
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your kid without bombs going off around you on a compound with no food and
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plenty of dirt, Like what is happening? Yeah? So thankfully, you
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know, like Beirute was like less crazy than Baghdad, but we still had
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a lot of things because the Arab Spring was going on. My husband had
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to go to Syria and there was a very very dynamic situation there with him,
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And it was right out before that that I had suffered a miscarriage and
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we couldn't we didn't know why. But I was there like, you know,
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thinking, gosh, I'm away from my best friend, I'm away from
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my mom. I have a good community here. But it was still so
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hard. But I have to give credit to the medical system in Lebanon because
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I had a great doctor who figured out after a couple of miscarriages. There
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they did all the testing, which they don't generally do in the States,
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especially at that time in two thousand and ten eleven, they weren't testing for
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MTHFR and things like that that they do more so now. But we just
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didn't know. And so it was, you know, it was very stressful.
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And Lebanon, while it was safer, like I said, we had
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the Arab Spring going on, was a terrorist organization, not a friend of
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the United States. They were always, you know, part of our everyday
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lives just thinking about it. And just the dynamics of the country were very,
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very complex, which just added to the stress, you know. So
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we were able to do tons of great travel. But again it came back
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to this like chronic stress state m HM. And so you're here, you're
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attempting to make babies. You end up making babies with not an easy road
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on that whole path. And we can go down nitty gritty paths, but
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yours is there's so many we all need passports in order to read your book,
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because she goes everywhere with her children and her husband and all these people
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in the community and the things that she does. I mean, a really
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remarkable, remarkable story and women in the places that you've been in a short
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span of time, I mean big picture, You guys did a lot in
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a short span of time. Time. Yes, So then theose couple of
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years, it was like twenty five countries that we I was like, I
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don't even know where I am right now reading I'm like, I went back
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to the chapter. I'm like, I think I'm in Beirut. I don't
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even know, like so because I mean, I was trying to follow the
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bouncing ball, but it was it was such an interesting story of everywhere you've
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gone and all the places that you've seen, and the people that you've come
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into, and the cultures that you've been in and those that you immersed,
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which you guys did a very good job of immersing into these places and really
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giving it your all, which is amazing. I don't know how you would
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do it otherwise other than not immersion, which I can't imagine to be very
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successful. But yeah, people do that, but I mean it's not as
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enjoyable if I'm going to live somewhere might be a part of it, right,
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Learn about the culture, learn some of the language at least, you
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know, yeah a little bit. Enjoy the food, Enjoy the people in
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the culture. Yeah, how do you order your wine? Like these are
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very important cultural conversations that we needed to be able to have. I needed
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like eighteen bottles of wine, which I don't drink anymore, but I needed
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that many reading your book only because I just wanted to be there with you
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to a certain extent. So, okay, so here we are, We're
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in your We're in all of these different crazy places in your traveling around.
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You're just not feeling all that hot. And then let's start going into why
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how when you started not feeling all that great? Sure? So after bab
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route, we had a brief stint in the United States where my husband was
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in language training and we were we were moving to Cambodia. So we moved
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to Cambodia, and my oldest daughter was about ten months at the time.
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We were like, we're not having any more kids, and then we quickly
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changed our mind and we're like, yeah, we're ye. So I was
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pregnant in pan and pen and I was taking it was like fall because I
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was pregnant. I was taking my oldest daughter to preschool and I, much
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like you, felt myself get a bug bite and I thought, hm,
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I not really hurt, but like, okay, so I dropped her off.
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I go home and like days, weeks, months go by and it's
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not healing. Yeah, and we're thinking, well, this is weird.
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Maybe it's because I'm pregnant. My immune system is really working hard here,
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you know, and it's not healing. Because of that. Fast forward,
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we moved to Bangkok briefly to have my daughter, Kate, because flight I
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had been diagnosed with late in factor five of Bloyd clouding disorder, and it
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just seemed not wise to travel all the way back to the States right on
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an airplane, knowing that the clouding disorder creator we're thing, and Bangkok had
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really good medical care. So we moved to Bangkok and I had Kate,
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and okay, we moved back to Panampin after a couple of months. I'm
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stilling terrible and I'm thinking, okay, I've I now have two kids,
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but I also have a nanny because part of the reason, you know,
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living overseas, one of the benefits is you know, you can often have
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what I consider luxuries, like having you know, someone to help you at
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home, you know, something that really everybody should have, you know.
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Yeah, no kidding, it's but knowing that I was coming from a real
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place of luxury there, but I wasn't feeling good. I think, Okay,
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we had it. We also had had some issues with my my oldest
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daughter cares health. So there were several things going on here. Not to
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go really into it, because no, but you did. You had,
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like I was saying, you you needed a passport to go through the countries
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that you were already in. Deal, like you needed passports to deal with
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the ship that you guys were dealing. Yeah, and they're hearing health and
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all of that on top of hours and yours. Yeah. And so I'm
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thinking I need to go back to the States and try to figure out what's
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going on because I am a huge consumer of like information and research, and
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so I'm researching, research and recour Like this sounds kind of like line,
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but I have this weird vibe it. You know, everyone said that that's
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you know, they can't determine what it is or whatever. So I left
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Cambodia just a few months early, but I took the girls with me,
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and so off I go to the States, and I had found a limeliterate
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doctor in Seattle, which is where I'm originally from. The is Washington state,
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and I meet with her and she's like, yeah, this sounds like
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classic line, but let's let's test and sure enough if the tests come back
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line positive reactivated EBB, which is mono for our listeners. And once you
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have a virus, it stays in you forever, which I think I knew
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but hadn't really put together at that shot yea and so and then co infections
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and all of those things, and so I'm thinking, wow, what do
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I do? You know? Why I'm in two thousand twelve was not fifteen,
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sorry, twenty fifteen. The way it was looked at it was even
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different than it is now. And it's still sort of like, oh,
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that's not real, or yeah, thank you for saying that, because I
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actually went back and went to doctors and went back through blood work and I
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was actually diagnosed with lime disease prior to this, but a doctor never told
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me yeah, so we could have gotten ahead of this far before I actually
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was diagnosed. I actually had diagnosis like six years ago, but that the
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doctor didn't tell me for another episode? Do I have a malpractice suit against
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this out? It's poor medicine at the very least, you know, because
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the downstream effect from that. It's been huge for you for all of us
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that I have dealt with it, and hundreds of thousands of dollars of tests
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and pills and this and that, and we've been treating CRPS for these things
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and the whole time, I don't even know if I have CRPS, like
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in my brain. That is how screwed up I feel about this diagnosis.
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Because all of the checkmarks go perfectly down for lime. They do for CRPS
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too, but it's actually a little bit more on the line and EBV and
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hpylori and all these other gross things that are going on. Why is that
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still not a focus with my doctor? Like what is happening? That is
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a huge question that you need answers to for sure. And it's so overwhelming,
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as you know, when you get that diagnosis or any diagnosis like CRPS
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or EBV or anything that is like sort of out there in people's minds right
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like, okay, that's just weird. So anyway, we started treating it.
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We did do a rounded by antibiotics, maybe a couple, but it
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had been so long at that point, you know, I had been a
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bit almost a whole year before that, so it really didn't do much for
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me at that point. And then we started down at the real matchropathic route
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of you know, I can't And honestly, Wednesday I blocked out so much
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of that time. It's sort of hard to decide or even remember what all
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the things that we did. Yes, of course, but I had this
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little lunch box full of all my supplements that I carried with me everywhere,
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right, Yeah, exactly, aboodle of sus. You know. It was
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not anymore ladies. It supplements and the things that are eating us alive.
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Oh my god, for sure, Oh my god. Tell us this when
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we're in high school and college by the mont, They're like, later,
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you're gonna use that for something else. So much for those frat boys.
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This is now what's gonna maybe make you poop? Yeah, maybe it was.
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It was so overwhelming. I had a six month old and a three
21:04
year old and we were in Seattle, but we were moving to Texas,
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so I wasn't even staying with my care team in Seattle, and so it
21:14
was the supplements, you know, and that could be so overwhelming for people
21:18
on its own, sticking with something that is like you're going to take twenty
21:22
of these a day and it has to be food or that anyway, So
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you know, I hear people because this is what I do now, right,
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And so I was there in that moment. We moved to Texas and
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that was the hardest place I have lived. And not because it's Texas,
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but I was so sick. Yeah, you know, I was not bagh
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Dad or be Root. Guys, it's Texas. I have so many things
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to say, but I'm going to hold them because everybody knows what I'm thinking
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and we're thinking the same thing. But you know, and be Route was
21:57
honestly like one of my favorite places to live. Like I loved it.
22:00
I would go back in a heartbeat. I mean, they're in hard times
22:03
now, but I just loved it so much. But Texas was like I
22:07
was on my own. I was I didn't have When you're overseas, you
22:10
have a built in community to some extent. Sure, you have your expats,
22:15
you have your other American diplomats, you have diplomats from other missions around
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the world, so there's just like kind of community. I moved there,
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I didn't know anybody away again from my mom and my best friend, who
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are huge, you know, supporters in my life, and my husband was
22:30
traveling all the time, and I'm there and I'm thinking, oh my god,
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I don't know how to do this. My knees were so swollen.
22:36
It would take me five plus minutes to walk down the hallway to the to
22:41
Kate's room to get her in the middle of the night. You know,
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it was just like the line had gone into my joints, which is quite
22:48
you know, normal, but for me, it was my knees and I
22:52
just could hardly function. And then one day I was like pushing the girls
22:56
in the stroller and I blacked out and the stroller just rolled down into the
23:00
street. Right. I had a heart attack. When I read that,
23:04
I was like, thank god there were no cars. But that was the
23:08
wake up call. I called my mom, well, I called my husband.
23:12
He was in Turkey, i think, and I was like, this
23:15
is not okay, Like I'm not okay. And it took a lot for
23:19
me to say that because I'm always wanted to sort of push through to keep
23:22
going to not ask for help, which is something I've learned is actually really
23:27
good for you to do, but it is I know nothing about what you're
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talking about at all. So my mom and mother in law took turns coming
23:37
and helping me be and then my neighbor how there was a huge, huge
23:41
help to me during that time. So I had a small community there,
23:45
but it was just hard because natropathic medicine isn't really recognized in the state of
23:49
Texas, so it was really hard to find someone that would do the kind
23:53
of care that I required. I ended up finding these two nurses that were
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doing ozone therapy and a clinic, and that is where so beneficial to me
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was to do the ozone therapy just directly into my knees at that point,
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and ozone was something that then I started utilizing down for years when I was
24:15
at home, you know, in the States. It was so beneficial to
24:18
me. And so, yeah, that was really hard. That was the
24:22
hardest. My mental health was in a tough spot. I just felt like
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I was never going to get better, and I was like, why am
24:27
I doing this? Like I was doing a past parasite clin a passport Clinn.
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I was doing a parasite Clino and I was like, I couldn't function.
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I'm like, how do I do this? I'm supposed to be taking
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a mom, I'm taking care of these kids, and I can't even take
24:45
care of myself. I cannot function. Yea, the die off symptoms.
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If people are listening, you know you understand those die off symptoms can just
24:53
bring you to your knees. Because these these guys want to stay alive.
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They don't like it when we messed. So yeah, and I've got so
25:02
many questions for you in regards to the die off of that. But I
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would like to do that towards the end, because yeah, I'm a little
25:07
bit scared of what's going on in here and what's actually going to happen when
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all of the things that I'm supposed to be doing are going to be told
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to me that I'm supposed to be doing. I'm kind of in a holding
25:18
pattern right now. But we want to talk about that offline. But it's
25:22
it's this invisible illness that I look great, You look great. I do
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the same thing I put on all of the appearances. I always look great
25:33
on zoom, I do my thing, and then I turn off the camera
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and I am a totally different human being that is miserable and sad and depressed
25:41
and scared and in pain. And it just like completely sleep deprived. And
25:48
I don't have children. I mean, I have an older one. Yeah
25:52
he's just the spouse in the situation, but you know what I mean,
25:56
like, I don't have children running around that. I've got a car,
26:00
I've got two little dogs, and I got a sweetie. That's it.
26:02
That's my life. It's but it's still we have a lot of stress that
26:04
comes into our world, for sure, But managing this and not knowing what's
26:10
going to come out of it all is what I'm actually a little bit concerned
26:17
about because I have no idea what that looks like. And I've googled it
26:19
and I don't like what I read, so I kind of stopped doing that.
26:26
I wouldn't google. I always just say, he really, don't click
26:30
on images, don't do it, don't go down the Google path, and
26:33
to help it. But I understand that I want to google everything myself.
26:38
Yeah I'm a researcher. Yeah I am too. And so it was just
26:42
like this crazy weird time. And as we know, parasites lime EBB,
26:48
they recab it on our hormones, and so I was having terrible hormonal issues
26:55
at that time as well, which is another part of the story to read.
27:00
But it just was a completely consuming illness. Yeah, and it and
27:08
while I have like overcome it, I am like right now in full transparency
27:12
in the middle of a flair. You know, knees are swollen. Things
27:15
happen because when you allow you when I allow myself to become stressed and over
27:22
work and do the things that are my natural type a personality things to do,
27:29
this is you know, this is what happens. So it's something that
27:32
while you you know can certainly you know put it in remission, you always
27:37
have to be doing those lifestyle practices and that's really hard in the world that
27:42
we live in. It is. And from lifestyle, I know that you
27:45
did a lot of dietary changes, which I've done, everybody I know has,
27:49
especially when you've talked you've dealt with hashimotives, which is which is something
27:52
that deals with your which is a thyroid condition. But within that, like
27:57
you know, I've done, I'm gluten free, this free, I'm that
28:00
free. I'm all of these things free, you know what I mean.
28:02
I don't drink card alcohol anymore. I don't drink red wine anymore. I
28:04
don't drink white wine anymore. You know, I don't do this, And
28:07
I mean, I'm like, oh my god, what do I actually put
28:10
in my body anymore? You know, because I'm either gonna like get an
28:14
upset stomach or I'm in a puke, always nauseous. My stomach's always a
28:18
mess. So it's like, I have I have a really really unfortunate conversation
28:23
with food, Like I don't I won't even watch like shows about food,
28:27
Like I can't even watch them look at them, and my sweetie loves to
28:32
watch all of them. I'm like, you know how you don't like watching
28:34
thrillers and horror films and you leave the room. You watching British Baking show
28:38
is the same thing as me having to watch or you me watching in British
28:45
Baking show is like you watching a horror film. So it's like, so
28:48
this weird relationship has been built with food that I didn't intend to happen,
28:52
but now it's here, and so I know I need to give my bod
28:56
nutrition I've done all the elimination namination diet was easy. I'm like, oh,
29:00
okay, I don't have to do all this now. Adding things is
29:04
my challenge. That is my biggest challenge, because whatever is living inside me
29:10
doesn't want anything inside of my stomach. It does not. It is like,
29:14
nope, we're gonna go ahead and let you know when we're ready to
29:18
be fed, and we're gonna let you know what that's gonna be. And
29:21
so far it's not. I do they do you get hungry or at night?
29:29
You know, because some are nocturnal? Yeah, yeah, I am
29:32
hungry at night. I do a lot of for pain, I do.
29:34
I only do cannabis and CBD, so I do not do any pain medication.
29:38
I don't doe opause. I don't even take ibuprofen anymore, mostly just
29:41
because of my stomach or just don't do anything. My stomach was like,
29:44
okay, that's enough of that, But yeah, it does. But I
29:47
thought that a lot of that hunger was actually me just getting like the munchies,
29:51
which is good because all of a sudden, I'm in the refrigerator and
29:55
I'm like snacking on stuff, and my sweeties like, well, you're eating
30:00
something right now. I'm like, I know, but I'm not supposed to
30:00
eat an entire bag of Mulano cookies right now. Oh yeah, they love
30:06
sugar, I know. So I'm craving sugar because I'm stone and now I'm
30:11
not supposed to have sugar. I'm just I'm like, oh my God,
30:15
help me, baby Jesus. It's such a hard place to be because you
30:22
know, parasites are not all the same either. Yeah, and depending on
30:29
what co infections you have, you know, things are different too. And
30:34
to your point of something you said earlier, maybe think that you know,
30:38
people need to know that they cross the blood brain barrier, yes, species,
30:42
and that really creates that that's what you're talking about, the anxiety,
30:47
the depression, these other things. Is lime can certainly do that because it's
30:52
really taxing on you as well, right and you're just exhausted. But a
30:56
lot of these co infections create these other didynamics that are you know, sort
31:03
of mental health in nature because they can cross the blood brain barrier. They
31:07
are in our gut we create most of our serotonin, and you know in
31:11
our gut and to some extent a percentage of our dopamine, so like when
31:15
they're messing with that neurotransmitters, hormones, everything becomes affected. Yeah, and
31:23
it's overwhelming. I mean the overwhelming. And in fact, last week I
31:27
had I have not felt so overwhelmed. I don't even know and if it
31:33
had been like fifteen twenty years my overwhelm. I couldn't even form sentences.
31:38
I was so overwhelmed, and I didn't even know what I was overwhelmed about.
31:44
It was just this like innate sense that I couldn't get a grip on
31:48
anything or anyone, even though I was doing all of the work. I
31:51
was on all of the calls, I was doing all of the stuff for
31:53
my clients or for this show or for my Sweeties show or whatever, and
31:59
I still was performing, but I couldn't. It was so weird, and
32:02
it was really frightening because I didn't feel like I had the ability to like
32:07
get a grip of myself, Like I didn't even know where to start.
32:10
And I'm so glad that you brought up the blood brain barrier because I feel
32:15
that way where I'm like, oh my gosh, I feel like a little
32:19
nuts. Of course I'm a little nuts. We all know I am a
32:22
little nuts, okay, but that's why I mean Lindsay. But the not
32:28
Lindsay nuts is really scary because I don't know who that person is. I
32:31
don't know how she thinks. I don't know why she thinks the way she
32:35
does. I don't know why she grabs things out of the refrigerator the way
32:37
she does or doesn't. I don't know why I order certain foods on a
32:40
menu where I'm like, I would never eat that, and the food comes,
32:44
of course, they don't eat it. It's just it's it's almost like
32:46
it's taken over a little bit of who I am, and it is taxing,
32:52
Like you said too, all of this stuff going on. I'm running
32:54
a fucking food court in your all day life. You're like, hey,
33:01
you need to step away from the buffet. My god, we are out.
33:07
Oh yeah, I mean it is so and you know when you have
33:12
the invisible illness as well, and all these things are happening to you,
33:15
and then you're like, I can't even verbalize this because people are gonna be
33:21
like, what are you talking about? You look fine, Like if I
33:24
had a broken arm, they'd be like, oh, I'm so sorry about
33:27
you. But when you look fine but you're like one, you're suffering pain,
33:37
mental health, all of these things. It becomes even harder because what
33:42
is that outlet? You don't really have an outlet. I mean, and
33:45
our spouses, our partners, they can be great, but they also get
33:51
tired, exhaust How could they not? How could they not? I mean
33:58
my sweeting and my parents and my best friends and so on. Their biggest
34:00
thing is they can't help, right, And it's just this like, but
34:06
I want to, you know. Men of course they're like, well,
34:07
I can help solve this problem, Like no, you can't just let me
34:10
vent for just like a sucker. Ye. But that whole that wanting to
34:15
help and that wanting to instill hope is wonderful, But that feeling of helplessness
34:21
is so hard on them. Yeah, and I'm trying really hard to be
34:24
like this, thank you so much for everything that you're doing. It's not
34:27
going unnoticed, like da da da da dah blah blah blah blah blah,
34:30
you know, to make them feel a little bit more warm and fuzzy,
34:32
because I know it's hard. I'm an only child. My mom and my
34:35
dad are like, this is doteresting. You know, my mom specifically really
34:38
has a challenging time with me being in a wheelchair for part of my life.
34:42
That's hard to watch your kid, you know, decline like that.
34:45
Yeah, Like oh my god, why am I getting worse not getting better?
34:49
Yeah? Exactly? Yeah, right, yeah, And that was part
34:52
of like with the die off, especially in that Texas timeframe. I was
34:54
like, I'm just deteriorating, yes, And I'm supposed to be doing all
35:00
of this, all of this money because we don't. Interest does not cover,
35:06
right, the care and the supplements that most people with lime disease,
35:10
any sort of autoimmune, those types of things are not generally covered, you
35:15
know. And so people are all this money's going out and you're thinking,
35:20
well, I'm not getting better, so why am I doing this? Yep?
35:23
And so we stop. So we stop, and then it doesn't get
35:27
better, right, And We've got seventeen thousand dollars of supplements in our kaboodles,
35:32
A glitter kaboodle, pink kaboodle, purple one. I've got like twenty
35:37
different kinds from Target. Do they even sell kaboodles anymore? If they do,
35:39
they do, Because I was at ALTA the other day with my oldest
35:44
and I'm girl, I had this when I was young, and she's like,
35:49
no, no you didn't. How long are your nails? And I
35:53
don't like them? Okay, but I mean it is unbelievable what we're faced
36:00
with and how powerhouse women like you and myself, who are Type A we
36:04
get the job done. We've always been on top of everything. We've always
36:07
been there for everyone. We take care of our shit, our our our
36:10
side of the street is always cleaning. We're on everybody else's side of the
36:14
street cleaning their's too. We do all of that. Then you live under
36:16
the conditions that you were while traveling. Talk about chronics, just compounding and
36:21
compounding and compounding, and now you're a new mother and you're living in Texas.
36:25
I mean, funny, yeah it was, and it was an election
36:30
year, which is another story. You know, it was like fun so
36:37
terrible. And then we if we had like been on our next post,
36:39
we thought, I don't even remember where we thought we were. Oh that's
36:42
right, yeah, you're like, yeah, yeah, I thought we were
36:45
going to Liberia in West Africa. And so then they like, so,
36:50
oh there's no job there. We messed up and by that time in the
36:54
year, like all the better jobs are kind of gone. Sure, the
36:59
Ghost Niger was on the list, and we're like, okay, well everybody
37:02
knows that Legos has a really bad reputation and it's a mega city. I
37:07
mean there's like twenty five million people that live there and you know, and
37:13
so I was like, Kurk was like, well what do you think?
37:15
And I'm like, Okay, the school looks good, the International school looks
37:19
good. You know what, Let's just go. And I have never had
37:27
such a hard landing in my life. But I was also really sick and
37:31
not like doing what I should have probably been doing, which was I should
37:36
probably stay home. Yeah, self care, what's that? So, you
37:39
know, maybebe not going to doors. I go to Seattle, I continue
37:45
to get better, but no, I we went as a family, and
37:49
I was in a really bad place when we got there. I really struggled.
37:53
And then we were able to move to a different apartment and all of
37:55
this and our house helper, Gladys, she helped me so tremendously. Like
38:02
there are people that come into your life and you will they will always be
38:07
a part of your life, you know. And it was at that you
38:10
know, she helped me so much with the children and with like cooking and
38:14
like. During this time, we came back to the States for Christmas and
38:16
must have been twenty seventeen, and I was diagnosed with hashimotos and I was
38:20
like, are you fucking kidding me right now? Like not another diagnosis?
38:24
Yeah, great, thanks cool. I also lived in West Africa and now
38:31
I need to be gluten free, dairy free, so I free and everything
38:35
free. Okay. I was like freaking out, like I really got that
38:40
diagnosis, like thirty six hours before we left, and I ordered a book
38:46
by Isabella WinCE about hashimotos. I thank god I was in Seattle because I
38:52
could like literally see the guy bringing me you know, del agree before we
38:55
go to get on the airplane, and I'm like, oh, America,
39:00
wherever she is convenient the Amazon delivery guy, yeah, like give me the
39:07
book. And I go back to to to Nigeria and I thought I'm gonna
39:12
starve, which sounds really very dramatic considering where I was living. And I
39:19
was very caught up in my own self at that time. But then also
39:24
I could get us mail, so I want to also be transferred about that
39:28
because everybody can, and as diplomats we can get mail, so it wasn't
39:31
like I couldn't get Thrive Market or Amazon or something. But I was just
39:37
thinking, it's another hurdle, sure, you know, another hill to climb.
39:43
But glad Us, you know, she helped me so much. We
39:45
learned how to use tiger nut, flower, other foods that are endemic to
39:52
Nigeria and Africa in general to really help make food. But I was able
39:57
to also breast because I had that extra help, which so many people are
40:01
lacking. I know, you know, it's so helpful to have that person
40:09
that's just she's there and she was always one step ahead of me. Anyway.
40:13
I could sing her praises all day. Neils will say I did not
40:17
starve, you know, I think, but it was hard and I was
40:25
still not getting better even with all of that. You know, like you
40:30
said, it's easy to eliminate things and then when you start bringing them back
40:32
in. You know, for me, I've been gluten free for so many
40:36
years now, and I do sometimes have cheese and things like that because it
40:42
doesn't seem to affect me the worst. But soy is that thing that I
40:45
know affects me so that's part of what I do in my work with people,
40:49
is like, what are your specific triggers, because yes, probably everyone
40:53
with autoimmune and things should be gluten free, but there are these other triggers
40:59
too, so let's really figure that out, you know, what is causing
41:01
this inflammation in your body. But I came back to the States because I
41:07
was not feeling good, and we think about our environment to some extent.
41:13
I had a great community there, so it wasn't that so much, but
41:15
the air quality was terrible, like some of the worst in the world,
41:20
and that was really affecting my health. And these are the things that we
41:23
don't always necessarily well. Your respiratory health is kind of important, right,
41:29
yes, And I was constantly having respiratory is shees, especially in the winter
41:32
because harmaton, which is a wind that blows across the Sahara, brings all
41:36
the sand and then you're just you know, more dirt. You would love
41:42
it so much. There are days you look at you can't see anything because
41:45
it's just like dirt. Und Nope. So I came back to the US
41:51
and I stayed with my best friend because she lives closer to my doctor than
41:54
than my mom. And Dad and I did like a month of intense like
42:01
nutrient ivs, ozone therapy, foot baths, all the things, and like
42:07
my face was like poofed out, like every time I would get like ozone,
42:13
I looked like I had been in a fight. But we knew that
42:15
we were like getting rid of that viral load. You know, Oh interesting,
42:17
okay, But it was just so painful, so painful, and I
42:22
was like, oh my god. And but I was so glad I had
42:25
that opportunity to come back and do that. And that's where I met doctor
42:29
Fox, who I now work with in his practice. And it was that
42:35
healing mindset. It's so important, like, well, we don't give ourselves
42:38
space to heal at it if we don't have any time or anywhere to do
42:45
it, because there's somebody in our space all the time. My new line
42:47
in my house is my sweetie. And both dogs are staring at me.
42:51
I'm like, am I in the zoo? Like am I a giraft today?
42:54
What am I? What do you guys need from me? Like?
42:57
Am I this entertaining? Like they follow me around both human and canine all
43:02
day? Am I this exciting? I mean, give me a break,
43:07
you are. I don't want to be for like two hours a day.
43:13
I don't want to be entertaining. I don't want anybody to fuck with me.
43:15
I don't want to look at me, talk to me, think about
43:17
me, anything. Just like just two hours for me to just like gnom
43:23
out. You know, like, gosh, we don't give ourselves, especially
43:28
a swomen. Y'all are listening, and you know, and the men that
43:30
are listening, you know that you are at a zoo every day with your
43:35
women as well. Okay, my dog is like that all day too.
43:38
I mean, well, I mean we'll get them that. Like I always
43:42
have somebody in the bathroom with me, my little wiener dog. He's like,
43:45
yeah, you're not going in without me, mom, that's just not
43:47
happening. Yeah. Yeah, he gets a pastor because he's so damn cute.
43:52
But the space for healing, the space for healing, if we don't
43:57
create it, we're not gonna heal. No. And that's where I was
44:00
really lucky to have help and to have it to create that space for healing,
44:07
because as a society we're not allowed that. As women, we're not
44:10
allowed that specifically to your point, you know that you just said, and
44:14
we're just taught to move to the next thing. And so you're not healing
44:19
from your current illness, but you're also not healing from repressed things, feelings,
44:25
other things that drive disease, our past experiences that drive these diseases.
44:30
If we're not dealing with that, it's very difficult to heal, which writing
44:36
this book required me to deal with all of that stuff. Yeah, exactly.
44:43
There were things that I never wanted to think about again, things that
44:47
were so hard in that moment, and then to write them repeatedly, because
44:52
you know, you write, you edit, you edit, you edit again.
44:55
But it was ultimately so healing. The written word is incredible journally,
45:01
I mean that's what they you know, they've said this forever, and I've
45:04
done it since I was a little girl. So I've fortunate enough that I
45:07
was pulled into journaling and writing from a very young age. So that comes
45:09
innate with me. So no matter what, when I'm having a crappy whatever,
45:14
I either get on my laptop and I just like just like vomit whatever.
45:17
I want to just stream of consciousness, print it, tear it,
45:21
don't save it, you know whatever. I do a lot of that too.
45:23
But also I have journals from when I was like, I don't even
45:27
know, ten eleven years old, and I still have them and I will
45:30
never open them. And there's actually a part where there's a point where I'm
45:35
thinking, we just purchased a home and so we're moving, and I'm like,
45:37
is it time for me to just like take all of these journals from
45:40
my whole life and just bring them to the beach and just burn them,
45:44
because I feel like that could be pretty cathartic. But that's for it.
45:46
That's for another day. But we need to do we need to be doing
45:51
these things, guys, because the stuff that we suppress turns into disease.
45:53
I mean, it just does. It does, and it's just more lingering
45:58
stress. Yeah, of course, because it's back here. No matter what
46:00
you think that you if you think you're not thinking about it, you're freaking
46:05
thinking about it. Especially are a people please are overachiever like myself over here?
46:13
Yeah, what did I do wrong when I was nine? Yeah,
46:15
let's do that. Let's mole over that for the next seven hours. Lindsay,
46:19
that's going to do a lot of it for you. They could man,
46:22
oh yeah, or did did I I'm sure those are always interesting as
46:29
well. Absolutely. Okay, So at the end of the day, you
46:36
were able to get all of your parasitic fiascos into a into remission, which
46:43
is great, right, Yes, yes, and I have to work on
46:46
it and I'll show you're writing the book. Well, it was super therapeutic.
46:52
Really took me to the edge of that hmm. And I've been in
46:54
a flair probably since October. Oh, all right, that's fair. You
47:00
know I did that to myself, but I will, I will come out
47:05
of it. But yes, I did. It was the lifestyle, the
47:08
diet, my doctor who listened, I was felt heard. I had you
47:15
can't had a healing mindset because of the way he was with me, which
47:22
cannot be overstated. Say it again, Gait. That would require me to
47:28
remember what I just said. Okay, so it's not totally intermission, guys,
47:32
exactly know I did. I know he heard me, he listened to
47:37
me. I felt validated and like seen when you haven't in EVELI Isabelle illness,
47:45
you don't feel seen, you know. And a lot of medical providers
47:51
don't believe it, don't They just they don't understand it, So then they
47:57
push it to the side, push you to the side, make you feelazy,
48:00
and he did the exact opposite of that. I love that because we
48:02
do. I'm like, don't you think it sounds crazy? When I go
48:06
in, I'm like, well, I feel like I have a vibrator at
48:08
the base of my skull that's constantly buzzing. I feel I have lava worms
48:14
climbing through my skin. You can see them. Look they're moving. I'm
48:16
not dreaming it up, like every't on video. I'm like this, I'm
48:20
not making this stuff up. And I kept getting the same thing, and
48:23
mostly with a lot of male doctors. When it came to body stuff.
48:28
When it came to like feminine OBG kind of problems, men men doctors were
48:34
much better for me than women doctors. So it's just like kind of a
48:37
strange thing. And because I think that a lot of women doctors in the
48:40
OBG world, and we totally are not even talking about this, but they
48:45
they tend to be like, why, I've a vagina and I've never experienced
48:46
anything like that before, so you must be dreaming it. I'm like,
48:49
I'm not dreaming any of this, but okay, thank you for your call.
48:52
I appreciate your time today. But the bottom line is, guys,
48:54
we are the ones that hire our doctors. They don't hire us. So
48:59
you get to cheer. Is you don't like that person, walk out the
49:00
fucking door and go find somebody else that works for you and keep doing it
49:05
until we find the right one. That's what I'm on right now. I
49:07
am interviewing. I am interviewing. They're not interviewing me. I go in
49:13
and I'm like, if you don't think that you're able to even remotely get
49:16
curious or give a shit about me the second I walk out of this door,
49:20
then I'm not right for you. I want to be talked about at
49:22
your dining room table tonight. Like that's what I would be doing. If
49:25
I was somebody that was trying to care for me, I would be up
49:29
trying to figure out how I could make Lindsay feel better and get better.
49:34
And instead that's just not been the case. And that's why I'm here because
49:37
I'm going to freaking find it. I'm going to figure it out. You
49:39
are gonna And that's the thing is advocating for yourself absolutely and so hard,
49:46
especially as women, to advocate for ourselves. We're taught to be less than
49:52
quiet, et cetera, et cetera. And but you have you are in
49:58
control of your body, you know. And I know that so many people
50:04
are are hampered by the system, the medical system that we are in currently
50:08
and having to deal with insurance and things like that, but especially here in
50:14
the United States. In the United States, Yes, but you still have
50:17
that opportunity to advocate for yourself. Yeah, it is the only thing that
50:24
we should be doing. Because we're not advocating for ourselves and our loved ones,
50:28
then what the hell are we doing? Yeah, I mean, we're
50:30
not going to get anywhere if we don't, because we just end up getting
50:35
We're just another piece of paper on their big stack on their desk of something
50:38
else that they don't know, and they're like looking in their manuals. They're
50:40
like, oh God, I don't know what the heck that was. That
50:43
was weird. I've never heard about that. Fine, at least you're looking
50:45
at a book and trying to figure something out, right, And that's where
50:51
like, conventional medicine is so good for trauma. We definitely need conventional medicine
50:55
for so many things. And I don't mean like PTSD, tried trauma.
51:00
I know I brought my leg yeah, yeah, for sure, and I
51:02
need immediate help heart attacks, so on and so forth. Yes, these
51:07
are very very good things for us to use Western medicine foreshore. Yes,
51:10
absolutely, But then and but then, so many you know, Western train
51:15
docs are hampered by time. Of course, the average test the time you
51:20
spent up the doctors like seven to ten minutes or something, right, I
51:23
feel like that's even pushing it. You're not going to figure it out.
51:27
Whereas like you need to be able to talk to someone. Yeah, and
51:31
so often that's when these things come out, is when you have that ability
51:37
to talk and to be heard, and then to have someone who has the
51:40
time to sit there and investigate what is it the root cause of this disease?
51:45
Yep. And that is really what it comes down to, is what
51:49
is the root because if we don't know it, and it can't it can
51:52
be more than one thing, guys too, Like for me, I can
51:55
tell you, I I wish I could prescribe the thing. I want to
52:00
be able to prescribe myself to be able to do. I've done enough research.
52:05
I know this is the cause of this, I do, But I
52:07
can't get anything from anybody. I need to be able to give me this
52:12
that I need, right or we spend, you know, twenty thousand dollars
52:15
in order to get that done. And that's what we're doing. And not
52:19
everybody is fortunate enough to be able to spend the kind of money that you
52:22
and I are talking about. Supplements are not inexpensive. Functional medicine practitioners are
52:28
not inexpensive. These tests that have to be run to find out that you
52:30
have line are expensive. These things add up. But if you know the
52:36
in value the importance and go, you know what, maybe I don't need
52:38
to spend three hundred and fifty dollars at the bar tonight, like that could
52:42
go towards your line and TIC test, which is five hundred dollars, so
52:45
you know what I mean. Like there are all these places where we say,
52:46
oh, I don't have enough money to do that, but we do
52:50
put our money into pockets and places that we shouldn't be and we can divert
52:54
some of that. And that's something that I had to really look at.
52:57
I'm not a real shopper or anything like that, but I really was like,
53:00
call, this stuff is so expensive and it's like, but wait a
53:01
second, ones do you like, come on, like, you don't have
53:06
to do stitch ficks this month. You could do it a different month.
53:08
I winked at her because we have the same shirt, we're just not wearing
53:12
it at the same time. I begged her to put it on. But
53:15
yeah, you know, it would have been well. And I'm slatting like
53:19
a pig because that's who I am, so you know, and that's for
53:22
another show. But you know, all of these places where we can spend
53:25
money in places that are so much more valuable for our health and our well
53:30
being than in other places that we can't. But also the self care side
53:34
of things. You know, go get your massage, guys, go to
53:37
a day spot, like take care of yourself for a day. It's a
53:39
two hundred bucks. I know, it sounds like a lot saved. Two
53:43
hundred bucks. Like, figure out a way to do some things for yourselves
53:45
and along the way, that's gonna help ah. Calm down our central nervous
53:50
system too, because I know that's a huge problem with us that are fighter
53:53
fighters. Oh absolutely, I mean you're just ramped up your nervous system.
54:00
When your nervous system is like that it's really almost entirely impossible to heal.
54:07
Yeah. Great, sadly, but I mean, thanks, all right,
54:09
this episode with I don't I'm not gonna make it. I'm just saying,
54:15
we got to call that nervous system. You can do five minutes of just
54:21
sitting in deep breathing, you can do box breathing, you can do breathing
54:25
exercises that brings it down, you know what I mean. We're in the
54:30
process, Like I had mentioned, we just bought this house and we're putting
54:34
an elevator in because of my body, and also he's aging and my parents
54:37
are aging and what have you. So we want to make sure that we're
54:39
safe. And we know that the elevator is going to take twenty seconds to
54:45
go from the bottom floor to the first floor, so we did a timer
54:47
on our phone to see if we could shut the fuck up for twenty seconds
54:52
the long time. Yeah, I was like, I'm trying to be better
54:58
with the soft care myself because it's just something that I tend to put.
55:01
It's a last side, as so many of us do in this morning,
55:05
and I was like, I'm going to attend this like thirty minute meditation class.
55:08
So I go when I sit down and I'm like, all right,
55:15
yeah, I'm looking around trying to figure out what to do with myself right
55:19
now. I'm like, well, there's a barbie over here that no bashed
55:22
back. Take a breath and just be present here in this moment and allow
55:30
myself to be quiet. And you went for thirty minutes. I mean that
55:35
that's a that's a long haul, it is, but like, also you
55:37
could do five. You can be thirty seconds. Yeah, you build up
55:42
to it too. And it's something that in my meditation practice that I've had
55:45
to I can tell when I'm out of whack a little bit more when I
55:47
don't do my practice. I definitely can feel it from a sleep perspective,
55:52
even just how I start my day. If I don't start it, I
55:54
kind of like, I'm just kind of agitated at the world. If I
55:59
just take a look a little bit of time to appreciate the world and be
56:01
grateful for the things that I have. Even in the midst of this ship
56:05
storm, I'm still really stoked about being alive and being on this planet,
56:08
even though I'm having some hardships right now. You know, But if you
56:12
don't start that way. I can one hundred percent tell how I approach the
56:17
world on that day if I don't. Yeah, and sometimes I only do
56:21
have five minutes, and it just it shifts at all. So with all
56:23
of this being said, which obviously I can talk to you for a billion
56:28
years, where can we find you? You can find me at Vatchtayiconahley dot
56:34
com. Yeah, I'll put that in show notes. Because nobody knows how
56:37
to spell her name. Whoever spells it, Rya gets prized. Now I
56:43
get it because I have it in front of me. Yes, v A
56:45
s h t I k A n A h e l e dot com.
56:51
Yeah, and at vatch Taekona Haley on Instagram. I've taken a little break,
56:55
but I'm coming back and being more serious about being for my community.
57:02
Well, yeah, I write a book and you had to do all the
57:05
things, yeah, and take care of you so exactly. And then my
57:08
book is available at Barnes and Noble and at Amazon. Yes, it's called
57:14
Passports and Parasites. Like I've talked about on this episode. It is awesome,
57:17
epic and beautiful. And thank you for sharing your story with me and
57:21
all of your troubles and all of your crazy shenanigans, and you've got two
57:24
beautiful girls. Thank you for bringing more women into the world. I applaud
57:28
you for that as well. Thank you Craig for giving those women to the
57:30
world as well. Is there anything you'd like to leave our listeners before we
57:36
kick these parasites down the road? No, just thank you so much for
57:38
listening. Healing is possible, and just never forget to advocate for yourself.
57:45
Amen. So so you got that right. Thank you so much for your
57:47
time with me. I really appreciate it us a joy. Thanks you got
57:52
it here. You are exclusively invited to share this kill the parasites and create
57:57
space to heal VIP pain journey together. Let's get to the heart of how
58:00
to heal with you by my side. Do you know anybody that's living in
58:06
and with all these crazy, creepy crawleys in their bodies that have these gut
58:08
issues, that are just sick and they're not sure why reach out to us,
58:13
reach out to me and you know how to spell her name, don't
58:15
you. We are here for you. Let's get to the heart of how
58:19
we can help heal each other together and give each other the space to do
58:23
so. We would love to connect you and hear your stories of strength and
58:27
wisdom and provide a safe place for you to do so. Please follow the
58:30
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58:35
Visit us at the Pain gamepodcast dot com, and follow us on all the
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socials. Thanks for listening my little VIPs. Catch you on the other side.