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Some narcissists hate Change · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people?
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  I am Lee Hammock, the diagnosed self aware narcissist known as
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  mental illness and welcome to another episode of the
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  narcissist Code. This your first time.
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  I see my face, I hear my voice. I use my platform on social
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  media to raise awareness for MPD, get more people into
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  therapy like myself, and also validate the victims, survivors
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  and thrivers. Thrivers, thrivers, Thrivers of
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  said disorder said toxic people said toxic traits.
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  Today's episode is going to be about how narcissists hate
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  change. Some narcissist.
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  Some some SOM some narcissist. Hey, change.
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  I don't speak for all narcissist y'all you know.
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  But before we hop into today's episode, if y'all did not know
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  the kids book, remember it's not your fault.
• 0:45
  Is now on Amazon To help kids deal with, you know, to
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  understand that they were not in control of the circumstances
• 0:53
  that they were born into helps. It helps.
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  Y'all. Lee Hammock.
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  Remember, it's not your fault on Amazon.
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  But yeah, yeah, some narcissistic.
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  I know. So I know this is going to go
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  against a lot of the stuff that you have heard and learned
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  about. Narcissistic people talk to
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  people, whatever. It's going to go against a lot
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  of. Because you you probably heard
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  that narcissists change jobs a lot.
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  Narcissists are never happy with one thing.
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  They always try to move on to find the next best thing.
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  Narcissist this. Narcissist that.
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  Yeah. So, yeah, is so is that true in
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  that space right there? If there's some truth to that
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  right there, like how narcissistic people, like, move
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  on quickly to relationships, to jobs, to careers, to majors in
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  college, to sports or whatever, to friendship groups, to cities,
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  they move around a lot. Is that true?
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  For a lot of narcissists, yes. But there's a certain sect, A
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  sector of narcissistic people that hate change.
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  They they love for things to remain the same.
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  Because within the when things remain the same, I am
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  comfortable, I am safe. Nothing can hurt or harm me or
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  whatever in these spaces. Nothing can.
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  You know, there's a lot of this stuff right here.
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  It's just in that space. So there's a lot of these
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  dynamics and a lot of these situations that arise.
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  So if you're dealing with narcissists, toxic people, just
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  understand this. Some of them, y'all literally,
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  are out trying to remain the same.
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  Some of them are out trying to be safe.
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  Some of them are. And there's, like I said, safety
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  is normalcy. Safety is the same thing in and
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  out every single day. Safety is having the same job.
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  Every single having the same job because you're afraid to take
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  the next step. Like I said, this is not me
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  saying that there's anything wrong with keeping the same job.
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  Like, if you've been working the same job for 30 years, hey,
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  that's hey, I know a lot of people who've done that, you
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  know, Congrats to you. That's that takes a lot to do
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  that. But this is me saying that some
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  narcissistic people don't want to step outside their comfort
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  zone because they like this bubble.
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  They like this toxic ass bubble. Intent matters.
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  I don't. So not only do I not like
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  change, I don't like, you know, for things to change around me.
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  I don't like for you to go for a different job.
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  I don't like for you to go have make new friends.
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  I don't like for you to do this and do that.
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  If I don't like it, you can't do it either.
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  If you're going to be in in my life, you're going to make the
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  choice to be in my life. You can't do this either.
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  You know, if I don't like said thing, you cannot do it either.
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  So they, some of them do not like change and they will fight
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  tooth and nail, tooth and nail, ear, hair, nose, eyes, eyebrow,
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  eyelash. They will fight with every ounce
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  of their body to keep things the same.
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  They will y'all could say it's scary.
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  It's scary outside the comfort zone, outside the narcissistic
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  bubble. It's scary to take to take a
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  chance and step outside of this. It's scary as hell.
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  It just is. It's one of those spaces.
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  It's one of those dynamics that you have to understand that if
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  you were with a narcissistic person, not only are they going
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  to try to hold themselves back, they will hold you back too.
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  They will hold the kids back. They will hold everybody in this
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  space back. If you are around me, you are
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  going or you're going to get held back as well because I
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  don't want you to change. Some narcissists have
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  abandonment issues, y'all, and they all have this fear of
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  change. If things change, I'll lose what
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  I have. So they will work hard as hell
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  to sometimes sabotage some of them.
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  Y'all will sabotage themselves so they don't have to change.
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  They'll. This is where self sabotage
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  comes in a lot. Hey babe, I'm up for.
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  I'm up for a promotion at work, but I don't know if I'm going to
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  take it because then this will happen, then that will happen,
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  then this will happen, then that will happen.
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  They're always talking themselves out of stuff.
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  A lot of negative self talk. They'd always talk to themselves
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  out of taking the next step or making the next move or doing
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  something along those lines. They always do that type of
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  stuff. Y'all.
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  So if they're continuously doing that type of stuff, what are you
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  going to, how do you, how do you deal with that?
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  How do you fight against that? How do you fight that?
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  You know you can't, you can't force them to change.
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  Of course you can't. Like and a lot of narcissistic
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  people, y'all, they not only don't want to change, they not
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  only don't want to change jobs and stuff like that, they don't
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  want to change their mental health.
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  They're fine with who they are. If I change who I am, I might
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  lose you. If I change my mental health, I
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  might lose you. I might lose you.
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  I might lose my family. You know, if you change jobs,
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  you might find somebody better than me.
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  If you change careers, you might find somebody that's better than
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  me. If you go back to school, you
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  might find somebody that's better than me.
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  You see how that change, that fear keeps them from things,
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  keep them, keeps them from things, from wanting things to
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  change. And not only is it that y'all,
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  not only is it not changing jobs and relationships and stuff like
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  that, it's changing locations. If they don't want to move to
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  anywhere else, they buy a house. The damn house is falling apart.
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  There's nothing else like they're they're like the house
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  is falling apart. You can get out of it right now,
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  but they refuse to do it because this is their house.
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  You see what I'm saying? They don't want to date.
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  The house is toxic. The floor falling in rats live
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  like rats. Got a bedroom.
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  Roaches got a little roaches got the upstairs.
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  It's and they refuse it. They don't want that change.
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  Some of them hate change and they will fight tooth and nails
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  to stay in this damn house because they don't want they
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  afraid of that change in their life.
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  You know, because change is scary.
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  Change can bring on the shame. Change, changing anything up can
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  open the door for failure. And failure brings in the shame.
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  If I fail, shame is going to come get me.
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  If I don't succeed, shame is going to come get me.
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  You said that words right there. If I don't move forward, shame
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  is going to come get me. If I stay still.
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  If I stay, it's kind of like, this is how narcissist is the
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  voice shame. It's kind of like a little boy
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  or a little girl, a little a little kid under the under the
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  bed, right. And they know there's a they
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  they just think that there's a monster out there in the room,
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  right? It's just like I if I stay under
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  the bed, the monster can't get me.
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  You know, if I leave, leave the room and I try to, I can maybe
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  have the chance of finding safety, getting away from this
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  monstrous situation. But no, if I stand in the bed, I
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  don't have to do any of that. You see what I'm saying?
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  It's just like they're scared to take that action.
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  And like I said, not only do they do that, they don't want to
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  go on trips. They don't want to not just not
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  only move, they don't want to travel.
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  They don't want to go on trips. They don't want to go to
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  parties. Yeah, they they want to remain
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  in the same place because this is their toxic comfort zone
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  where they treat people horribly.
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  They are unhappy here, but they're safe here.
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  And because they are unhappy, they're going to make everybody
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  around them, including you, wife, husband, kids, whatever
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  role you play, they're going to make everybody else around them
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  unhappy as hell as well. So that's the space that a lot
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  of people fall into. But you don't realize it.
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  You know what I mean? It's a lot of different moving
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  pieces. There's a lot of the situation
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  can get very uniquely toxic very, very fast.
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  So that's why I tell people, if you're dealing with a narcissist
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  or toxic person or whoever, just understand that that person
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  might want to remain the same. And you can't drag them along
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  because they're going to fight tooth and nails to keep you
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  there. They're going to fight tooth and
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  nails to keep you here. I don't want more kids.
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  I don't want to move. I don't want to go back to
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  school. I don't want to go to do this.
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  They hold themselves back out because out of fear, and they
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  treat you horribly because they're unhappy.
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  They're unhappy because they're holding themselves back and they
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  treat you and they treat you horribly because of something
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  that's going on within themselves.
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  Isn't that a wild mindset to have?
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  Isn't it? Isn't that Absolutely.
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  Doesn't that sound absolutely crazy to think about sometimes
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  right there? Doesn't that sound insane to
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  think about right there? Like the person is holding
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  themselves back and mad at you because they're not happy?
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  I wish I had more money. You should have took that
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  promotion. Why are you?
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  I didn't take the promotion. You see what I'm saying?
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  They get mad because they don't have enough money, but they
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  turned down the promotion because they were scared.
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  So they blame you because they don't have enough money.
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  Now they're angry as hell at you, and they're going to blame
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  you for holding them back somehow, some way, shape or
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  form. It's always going to be your
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  fault. Your fault as well.
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  The longer you stay with them through their trials and
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  tribulations and they don't succeed, the more that they're
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  going to blame you for not succeeding.
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  You see what I'm saying? Because what's the common
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  denominator here? You.
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  You're still here. Oh, if you were unhappy, you
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  would leave. I'm just telling you out now.
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  The mind is the mindset is a very uniquely toxic thing to
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  think about. Some narcissists don't like
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  change. Like I said, are there
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  narcissistic people out there who move on quickly who change
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  jobs, who change careers? Hell yeah.
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  They seem like the they seem like the the the narcissist that
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  is most like the most talked about.
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  The narcissistic robot, resetting, talking too fast,
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  rebooted. That seems to be the most talked
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  about. Former narcissist is the ones
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  that move around fast, the one that bounce around a lot, the
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  ones that change jobs and change careers and like to live life on
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  the edge. But like I said, some of them
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  like to sit in their like to sit in their sorrow in the wallow.
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  It's like they say it's like a pig sitting in the mud.
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  They like to sit in and wallow in sorrow and shame and things
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  like that. But you are in control of who
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  you are and where you want to go.
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  You earn control of who you want to be and what do you see
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  yourself in the next 5-10, fifteen, 20 years?
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  You know what I'm saying? They are comfortable where they
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  are. Are you comfortable here?
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  Are you comfortable here? Some narcissistic people are
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  comfortable right where they are and they will tell you.
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  If you're not happy here, then leave.
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  And guess what happens? You don't leave.
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  They assume that you're happy Is that it's so black and white.
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  If you don't leave me, I'm assuming that you are happy.
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  Are you not? What?
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  Does that not make sense to y'all?
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  You see what I'm saying? You see how black and white and
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  straightforward it is. There's no Gray area.
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  If you stay with me but claim you are unhappy, then you're
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  doing that to yourself. That's the mindset of a lot of
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  narcissistic people. Y'all.
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  Some of them do not like change. Some of them like to stay in the
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  same situation, in the same car, same clothes, same.
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  They don't change their lives up and they expect you to tolerate
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  it. And if you tolerate it, a lot of
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  times you end up living a life of boredom and unhappiness and
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  you'll be sad as hell. Many ways y'all had to hop off
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  and do this one-on-one really quick.
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  Again, again, again, check out on Amazon.
• 11:16
  Remember It's Not Your Fault by Lee Hammock and Delaney Hammock.
• 11:21
  My wife is part of this as well. My wife, My wife is team tag
• 11:24
  team owner as well and her sister was the illustrator.
• 11:26
  So I appreciate y'all so much like and subscribe for more and
• 11:30
  of course of course of course. But doing this is out peace.
• 11:34
  Thanks for making it to the end of my video.
• 11:36
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• 11:45
  Thank you so much.