Latest / Books4Guys / Cancer at 18 Changed His Life Forever | Steve Garraty

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Cancer at 18 Changed His Life Forever | Steve Garraty · Books4Guys

• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: My buddy and I, we we actually just gave up our Arkansas season tickets.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: Uh we've had them for five years, and so typically I'd probably be there at that game, but we both have to travel in.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: He's in Charlotte.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, I'm I'm in Nashville and have been in Atlanta.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: So for us to travel in for games, it's uh and just to be transparent, we're not doing too good.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: So we're like, why are we paying all this money to go, you know, not enjoy being there?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: My son and I started this annual trip in 2010.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so Georgia was always good, but they were never great.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: So we yeah, I mean, we've seen some heartbreakers.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: We saw we went to Ole Miss first year Kirby was there, and we just got slaughtered in Ole Miss.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so, yeah, we've seen some, but then we've been, you know, we saw the first national championship in in uh in Atlanta when we lost in overtime in Alabama, and then we were in Indianapolis when they won the second one or won their first one in forever.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, we've had some cool experiences, but uh but I know what you're saying.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: When they used to win eight, nine, seven, eight, nine games a year, we would uh we would go on the road and see them.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: No, and it was cool being in Atlanta when Georgia was was starting to peak and and win the championships because Arkansas wasn't doing so hot, and I had plenty of friends who were Georgia fans, so I you know I kind of jumped on that bandwagon just to enjoy what was going on there.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: But no, I think you and your son will enjoy visiting Fayetteville and and I think it'll be a great time.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: But Steve, man, it's so cool to have you back on the Books for Guys podcast as you we're coming up on about a year since our first conversation and and your book, Great Fruit.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: Man, you've been doing so many incredible things with it.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, you've been keeping up with each other, but I've seen all the stuff you've been able to do.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: You were just on Joel's podcast um a couple weeks ago, and I know that episode came out.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when people listen to this, they can come back and listen to it, but it came out in the month of August, which uh was super cool.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: So being able to have mutual connections through some of this stuff has been really cool.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: A really cool part of the journey of just us getting to know each other.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: And man, just excited to have you back on.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: It is uh it's a pleasure, man.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, thanks for having me, Chris.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's uh good to be on here again and good to speak with you again.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: Well, man, I uh I I know several people who have read your book and and I shared it with with a lot of people.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, kind of a different conversation.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: We talked a little bit, you know, and I want to talk a little bit about your story too, because some people may be uh what's been cool is we have a bigger, bigger audience now than a year ago.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so I do want you to share at a high level, you know, just your story and and what went into the book.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: But, you know, I'm interested to know too, just what this past year has looked like for you and just some of the conversations you've been able to have.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure there've been a lot of people reach out to you and tell you just how inspiring your book is, and maybe some things that you didn't even expect.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe people tell you about your book or people that have reached out to you.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: But Steve, for those who didn't listen to the first episode, and I encourage people to go back and listen to it because it was a great conversation of you sharing, you know, a lot of went into your book.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: But would you mind sharing a little bit just about the story in general of just what you went through growing up and and what went into writing Grapefruit?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so uh just quickly, I'm 58 now when I was 18, so 40 years ago.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I had just graduated high school, was uh gonna go off to college in the fall, and I was uh had a mass in the side of my neck, uh, which kept growing and didn't go away.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I kind of ignored it for a while, like 18-year-olds do.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: I thought I was invincible and never thought it would be anything serious, but it turned out it was uh cancer.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it was Hodgkin's, a form of cancer that's more prevalent.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: That type of cancer is more prevalent in 18 to 25 year olds.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I was 18.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: They took a mass out of my neck the size of a grapefruit, which eventually led to the title of the book, but they found it in my neck, chest, and stomach, which made it stage three.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then I was treated with chemotherapy.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: The gist of the book is how adversity can make our lives better.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: And uh mine did in two ways.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: One, I was a very rebellious teenager.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people say they rebelled in high school.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: I was off the charts and got into a lot of trouble.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I touch on that in the book.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but I was I was experimenting with a lot of things I shouldn't have been and doing a lot of things I shouldn't have been and hanging out with folks I shouldn't have been.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so one, it got me off a path that I think of that would have been very self-destructive.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Who knows if I would have finished school or if I would have ended up in jail having having injured myself or somebody else in a car accident.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyways, long story short, it it put me on a better path, number one.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then number two, over time, which I I talk a lot about this in my story, over time I uh looked back on cancer and kind of the the benefits and the ways that it affected my life.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: And really in five primary categories.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um it affected my life eventually as a husband, as a father, as I how I approach friendships, my faith, and then my career.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um I'm in leadership and I think everything I kind of do at work is um centered around things I learned uh from having gone through a year of what I call hell.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: But that's that's the gist of the story.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: And uh so yeah, so I wrote it.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Started as a journal when I was going through chemo.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: My mom and dad had suggested I do that as kind of a form of therapy and dealing with uh it was a lonely year.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: All my friends, some some were, you know, some were not the best definition of friends, but the ones who were went off to school.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: And uh so it was a pretty lonely year.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so started as a journal, just putting down all my thoughts, feelings, and what I was going through, and then uh put it down once I was was uh in remission, and then later picked it up, dabbled in my 20s and 30s.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so, anyways, I I joke it took about 37 years to finish, finish it and get it published and all of that.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: But it was more years not writing than it was writing.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Life just kept getting in the way.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: But eventually COVID kind of motivated me to finish it.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: But that's that's the story behind grapefruit.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: I was actually uh I wasn't thinking about you the other day, but I'm thinking about this this example now.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: But I was talking to someone, they were talking about how, you know, sometimes you just life's just gotta rock you a certain way to wake you up.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: And and some people gotta get rocked harder than others.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, you know, I was thinking about your book, and you certainly got got rocked with with the situation, but it did lead to a lot of positives, and you and you do write about that in your book about how it uh it probably changed your path for the better.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, well, not probably, it did change your path for the better.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: You took that approach and and made sure of that.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: But I it was just funny, I was talking to someone the other day, and they were like, Yeah, we all go through certain things, some worse than others, but a lot of it is to, for whatever reason, to to wake you up and and kind of get you back on the right path.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: And and whether that's God or whatever we're gonna say, it's just interesting how a lot of people seem to have some sort of moment in their life where they where they got to go through something tough to uh just kind of refocus in a certain way.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: 100%.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Steve, over the past year, again, I was saying, you know, I've seen, man, I follow you on LinkedIn, Instagram.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I I see the people who are commenting on your post, the stuff that you've been able to do.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: But, you know, just you know, obviously I see we see some of the highlight stuff, but but what are some of the things you've been able to, I don't know, experience since the book came out as far as you know, what are some things people have told you about it?
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: Are there are there people who have been inspired or are going through tough situations similar to that that you've been able to talk to?
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, what does that look like from a audience perspective on those who have indulged in your book?
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: What what are some of the positive things you've seen?
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Chris, it's it's been uh it's been a pretty cool ride.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: Uh yeah, you know, I guess prior to it coming out, there there was a long period of time.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: My goal with writing the book was just leaving my story to my kids.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: I have two children and uh they're now in their upper 20s.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: But my goal was to leave my story to them so that hopefully they could learn some of these lessons without having to go through something like cancer.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, although, like you said, we all go through, we all get curveballs thrown at us in life.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: But it dad, and then I put a lot in the book that my wife was reading it before I published it, and she kept saying, Are you sure you you want to put this out there for the world?
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm pretty vulnerable in it.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I wasn't sure exactly what to expect.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: There was probably a lot of nerves, nervousness about publishing and putting my my story out there.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: But it's been it's been nothing but a blessing since then.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: I published March of 2025.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: So it's been out, I don't know, about a year and four months or so.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: And it has opened so many doors to new relationships.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: For you're a perfect example of that.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of those relationships have led to other relationships.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like you mentioned, Joel.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: You you uh introduced me to Joel, Joel Goldberg.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: He was fantastic.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: He had me on his show.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: But I've met a lot of folks through these connections.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: I think I've referred you a couple, two or three of your guests uh since we met.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I've met uh college and professional athletes that had written books or that are doing public speaking.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I've been asked to speak at a wide variety of, like, for example, uh church.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Spoke at church, I spoke at Moffat Cancer Center, um, speaking at a chamber gala event with I think about 250 people coming up.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: Aaron Murray actually was the speaker a couple of years ago.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: So speaking of Georgia football, so that's kind of cool.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I've, you know, it's just it's opened a lot of doors and it's I've got a lot of relationships now and people I would call friends that I know because this story came out.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: So that that's one.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: And then I guess the second part that you asked about there have been a lot of people that reached out and and I don't know that I thought so broadly that uh the book would hit people, meaning I was thinking more like health-related challenges in life.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I've had people reach out with all kind of stories about stuff that they've recently gone through and how the book resonated.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: One example, a lady from my high school as well as a lady from my church both lost their husbands in the last three, four years.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: And they both reached out and it really expressed that the book uh I don't want to say help them, but it it it impacted their perspective and and how they're dealing with it and trying to find some not positives, that's probably a bad word, but just really kind of changed the way they're trying to live their life, maybe, and and look at what they've been through.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: And uh so yeah, that that part of it's been been really neat.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I've talked to people who've lost, lost a child, which you know I can't even imagine.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so a lot of people have reached out with their own story.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um and then I've also had quite a few people reach out who are writing their own book, and I've really enjoyed that because um it is a journey and there's a ton involved.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I know your whole show's about you know books, getting a book out there in the market, uh, it's there's definitely less barriers today.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's easier to to self-publish, but just writing a book and then everything that you got to do once it's done being written, as far as editing and cover and a website and marketing and all that stuff, it's a lot.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I just I enjoyed that process and it was a lot of fun.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so I've had a lot of people call me, people I know well, and they're like, hey, I've been working on this book for for years and I had no idea.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: And it opens up a new conversation and a new dialogue.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I've got a couple people I'm kind of coaching right now on their process and trying to help them, you know, navigate all the unknowns and all the things that all the gotchas when you're trying to publish your book.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I think I just gave you kind of three main areas of of my life that it's positively impacted since I came out with the book.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's been awesome.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: I was I was talking to someone, I was at a coffee meeting this morning, actually, and we were talking about how, you know, when I started Books for Guys, I really didn't know when in what went into writing a book, writing a story.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: And the more people I've talked to, I just think everybody should take the time at some point in their life and write out, whether it's journaling or a book, but but write your story out to to potentially share because you never know who it can impact.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: And and you learn things along the way that other people, you know, need to learn from.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: And it's uh, and you said it right, you know, it's interesting.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: If me and you were having coffee probably 10 years ago, Steve, there's stuff in your book that you wouldn't have mentioned to me over a conversation, but you did get vulnerable and you wrote a lot of things in your book that a lot of people do think about or deal with, and so you've been able to impact more people because of the book more than you ever could just from sharing your story and maybe a work meeting or someone through church or someone like that.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: And that's where we were talking about everyone should at some point maybe share their story through a book or through writing, just because of the amount of people you can reach, especially if you get a little vulnerable.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_01: We're all going through things and there's a lot of things we don't feel comfortable just saying verbally, but but maybe reading it or having that approach from it, it does help.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_01: And Steve, obviously, you know, you're you're you're an exec, you know, high-level individual at work too, you know.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: Has that been how do you two-part question here?
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: Has it been tough to balance work with this, you know, the release of your book and having a lot of con I because I know books for guys, it takes meetings and connections, and they're all great.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: You also got a job to do too.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: You know, what does that look like from a balance standpoint?
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: And and has that also been more of a positive, you know, than a negative too, with just your work being incorporated with with your corporate job?
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's a good question.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that might be that might be one of the key reasons, Chris.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: It it took 37 years to uh from from when I started as a journal to publish it.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: Work work was work and and my kids growing up were the two biggest reasons.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: It just, you know, I said life kept getting in the way.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: It was, you know, it was my family and trying to spend time with them on the weekends.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm in sales, I've always been in sales and leadership, and that that usually leads to very uh long hours and and travel.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so it was it was difficult.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: I probably, you know, like I said, I I spent more years not writing than I did writing.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: But uh co COVID was a big, I maybe had about 60% of the book done, I'd say two-thirds of the book at max done before COVID hit.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: And when COVID hit, it did a couple things.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: One, I wasn't traveling anymore.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we we like everybody else in the world, went to to Zoom calls all day.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: And uh and so I think my day was in the evenings I had free.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then my kids were in college and that there was a little bit of coming home during the COVID for a short period of time.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: But for the most part on the weekends, we're kind of locked down, right?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: We're not really going out and doing stuff.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so I would just sit outside and and write.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: And my goal was I'm gonna use COVID as uh this lack of travel and this lack of, you know, my my kids were were off to school.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: I was I just made a decision, I'm gonna finish it during 2020.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I I came close.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: I think I finished it like you know, the beginning of twenty twenty twenty-one.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: But that was one, and then COVID also was a reminder of some of the themes in my book, like, you know, COVID was tough, it was adversity for everybody.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know, a lot of us, or at least I did, I knew some people that that perished during that time because of COVID.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so there were just a lot of themes around life is short and having gratitude and empathy and paying it forward and helping others.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: There were a lot of a lot of those kind of themes in my book that for me during COVID really uh were underscored by the pandemic.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so those two things were a motivation to finish the book, and I did.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: But since then, to answer your question, uh my kids are now both married.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: I've got a grandchild now, but they're both married.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: Fun fact, I was told by the oncologist there was a 70% I wouldn't be able to have children because of the chemo.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: But they're both, you know, they're both married now.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so I don't golf, I don't fish.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: So on the weekends, I'm spending a lot of time, uh, and in the evenings some.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm spending a lot of time working on a second book and then trying to market and reach, get on podcasts like this, get in magazines, and I'll be in a newspaper for the chamber event uh tomorrow morning.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I'm doing a lot of that kind of stuff in the evenings and weekends, but I enjoy it.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: I think if you I know writers that hate the marketing piece and the outreach piece because they're just maybe more introverted.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: Being in sales, uh, I have no problem reaching out to people.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so I enjoy it.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so I try to spend a lot of my non-working hours doing, doing that kind of stuff.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: No, and you kind of led me right into, you know, kind of one of my mother questions for you just kind of what's your what's your vision for for the future?
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: And it sounds like you've got another project in the works, um, which I was gonna ask about.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know, this is this is your story, and but it's still, you know, you you put pen to paper, you published a book, and and some people they that excites them to figure out another project that they want to do, and it sounds like you've got one that that's in the works.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'd say maybe a couple.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: Uh one is the public speaking.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: I've been doing a good bit of that, starting to get some paid engagements.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I've got got a couple of those coming up.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: So the public speaking is fun.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's being able to share my story and then, you know, hopefully both folks buy the book and read read the full story, but it gives me an opportunity to spread the word and share my story a little bit at a high level.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: And then the second one is yeah, I'd I'd like to write a second book.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: I know I don't have I'm 58, so I don't have 37 years probably to write the the second one, but I've started one and uh yeah, I'm I'm trying to find time to to work on that while while, like I said, continuing to market grapefruit.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: Without without saying too much about it, it what what what does your second book entail?
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: Is it still your story continued or is it something totally different?
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's um it it relates.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's another nonfiction.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: So there's there's five, I mentioned five areas of my life that I feel like cancer and that adversity kind of impacted.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: One of those is friendships.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like uh, well, re research shows this that women, generally speaking, are much better at at building and maintaining relationships than than men are.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think historically men worked more and worked a lot of hours, um, kind of like I was hitting on, I certainly did.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: And uh one of and then you come home and you're with the family.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things that that suffers is friendships, right?
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I think uh it's very common for men to lose those that they might have built from high school and college, and then they're not building new ones other than at work.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: And usually when you leave a job, most of those kind of disappear.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so I I do think there's this, you know, maybe it's part of the midlife crisis.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: I think in your 40s and 50s, if you have children and you're suddenly an empty nester, it's like, what do I do with my time?
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: And and I don't have many many at friendships.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so there's there's a lot of stats to say that men in their 40s and 50s are much lonely, you know, much more lonely and suffer suffer from depression and things of of that nature.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: So that's kind of the motivation behind it.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I'm trying to put it all together, but I've always been, I think because of my experience and adversity that I went through, I've always had a higher appreciation for friendships.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I work really hard to build them and maintain them.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I probably keep up with people that most people would kind of let that relationship fall by the wayside, if you will.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: My my wife and kids make fun of me that, you know, I'll grab dinner with somebody I lived next to 30 years ago, and we don't even live in the same city, and you know, I haven't talked to them in three years, and we go to dinner and it's like it's like we never missed a beat.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so I I really do actively kind of do that a lot.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I have some I don't I I don't want to call them methods or strategies, but I I have some things that I do to make sure that I keep in touch with people.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so uh so that's kind of the gist of the of what I want to write a book about is to help help men, you know, when they're reaching that point of, you know, becoming an empty nester or you know, they're single or whatever, but you're in your 40s and 50s and you've kind of neglected friendships maybe more than you should have.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's really cool because I uh I could definitely see that, you know, a lot of responsibility and it you have to be really intentional the older you get and the more responsibilities you have to maintain those relationships.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I I have a guy's golf group actually, we do a golf trip every year.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_01: A couple guys have three kids, you know, a couple of us don't have any, but everyone's committed to no matter what, we are taking this trip because it's good for us to be around each other and keep this friendship going.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: And and everyone needs it as a you know, kind of an escape to be around other men.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but it is funny too.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm the same way.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: I can go sometimes years in between talking to certain friends I had in college or high school, and all of a sudden I'll talk to one for an hour, and my wife will be like, Who is that?
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, Oh, you know, it's so-and-so.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: We were one of my best friends.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: She'll be like, I've never even heard of them.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, well, you know, it's guys are like that.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you can pick up like that a lot easier than than women, I think, you know, for the most part.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: But I do think that's a really cool idea and concept you're working through because I do think now more than ever, you know, th those relationships are so important to have and friends to lean on, and uh you do have to be intentional about it.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_01: But I've actually talked about that on this podcast too of just how important that is and having those people to go to.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: We all need someone to lean on.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: We all need someone to call.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I mean it's a really cool project you're working on.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'll be interested to to read more about that because that's something I believe in too is just those those relationships.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, 100%.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: I've got a group again we always say we're very fortunate, but but I think like we all just make the effort.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: We've got like 15 guys here in Tampa and we see each other every week.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: We've got trips we go on similar to what you described.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: We've got a text chain um you know we all make fun of each other and cut up and it's um it's just and we do have happy hour every Friday it's just a great group and we've all been friends for over 20 years.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: So um but you quick funny story the title of my book Grapefruit actually came from there's a gentleman I worked with for about a year and a half right out of college.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: So we're going back 30 years.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: And uh we were pretty close during that time and we both lived in Atlanta.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: He still lives up there.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: I left and I'd say maybe every three, four years we pick up the phone and call each other.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: But I was up in Atlanta and I just reached out to him and said hey do you want to meet up for dinner?
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I was struggling with the title for the book.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: It had been like six months I I just really was struggling with the title and he said let me read it I'll you know he's like I'm pretty creative I majored in marketing and so he read it and he was like hey you know you had a mass in the side of your neck it ended up being a blessing.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: He like came up with the name grapefruit and uh but that's a perfect kind of segue into my second book is that you know he and I have just maintained this friendship that there's every reason in the world there was no reason to maintain it.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like we just we haven't worked together in 30 years and we don't live in the same city and you know we don't really hang out with the same people but we enjoy each other's company and we cut up and laugh and act like you know we don't act like we did 30 years ago but we you know we have that closeness as soon as we see each other it's it's just great.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah I'm sitting here laughing too because there's nothing better than when the group text is just just firing and people everybody's laughing.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's still funny.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: My wife she knows too she'll know if I'm laughing.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: She's like who are you talking to over there?
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: And same thing as guys I grew up with and I I'm so we're blessed by technology to have text messages because I you know even my parents will say hey how's so and so and I'm like I talk to them every day you know and I got that close group where we legit text every single day and I'm so blessed to have that but Steve man this has been I again it's so cool again to follow your story and to see all the the just the impact you know I want to say success which that's part of it but more so the impact you're having and and the people who are reading your book and having positive things to say about it and then just seeing you be able to have opportunities come from it like public speaking and and just you know working on a second book now and just being able to meet certain people it uh it really is amazing just when you when you put yourself out there be a little vulnerable and get a little uncomfortable just just how so many cool things can can transpire and and I try to share that with people too you know it's there's you just got to be intentional about it.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_01: You just got to get get outside the bubble a little bit shake someone's hand say hello um you know I use our gym as an example of that we we go in we smile at people we say hi and now we've you know we've gone to dinner with people I've met people who do so many cool things but so many of us we just we put our air pods in we put our head down we don't talk to our neighbors but when you do there's just so many amazing things that can come from it and you going a step further writing a book putting that story out there and and you being able to share all of that stuff that's going on and and everything that's transpiring.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so man I'm glad we got to do this a second time obviously we we're gonna have a a third time when when that next book comes out at the very least and be able to talk just through again all the stuff that's going on in in your world in your life and we're books for guys man we're proud to to support you and and spotlight you and just continue to share all the cool things you're doing.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah thanks Chris you know one last thing I'll say to your listeners I know um you probably have a lot of book lovers listening and maybe some people that uh have thought about writing a book there's a stat that 82% of American adults have said they want to write a book or they've got an idea for a book.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: And my advice one is, you know, write it, right?
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's fiction or it's nonfiction.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: My advice would be book some time with yourself on a weekly basis, find a time that works or a few times that work, put it on your calendar and just write.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: Just go in there.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: Don't worry about how good it is.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: Don't don't question yourself or have imposter syndrome.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: Just get pen to paper and uh that's why there's editors that can help you clean stuff up and I certainly leaned on two or three editors to get mine public ready.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: But that would be my advice to folks listening who might be thinking about writing a book and you said it Chris we all have a story right it's just putting it down pen to paper and it takes a lot of time and effort but it's fun.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: Even if it's not published that experience is up is therapeutic and it's it's great.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I would encourage folks listening if they've got a story to to try to put it down and and get it out there.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah I love that.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: Well we'll leave it there Steve I really appreciate it man thanks Chris thanks for having me