Latest / feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell / what is wrong with me?

Transcript

what is wrong with me? · feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell

• 0:00
  What is wrong with me and what is wrong with me?
• 0:04
  I used to look in the mirror and ask that question almost every
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  single day. Why am I so broken?
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  Why am I this way? Why can't I just be more?
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  Why can't I be enough? What is wrong with me?
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  This question it it haunted me for years.
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  I carried it. It was the silent wait.
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  I whispered it to myself at night.
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  It raced through my thoughts. But there's a problem with this
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  question. It assumes that you are supposed
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  to be something different, something different than exactly
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  who you are. And that simply isn't true.
• 0:48
  My name is Ethan Jewell and welcome back to Feel Your
• 0:53
  Feelings. I've had a lot of big feelings
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  over the years. Very, very big feelings.
• 1:00
  I have driven myself almost crazy dealing with these
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  feelings and I realized that not a lot of people talk about it.
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  So that's the whole point of this podcast.
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  I don't want to be a doctor telling you exactly what science
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  says about your mental health. I want to be somebody you can
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  trust, a friend just talking to you about my own experience with
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  mental health. So thank you so much for being
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  here and thank you for feeling your feelings with me.
• 1:25
  Feeling anxious doesn't mean that something's wrong with you.
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  Feeling sad doesn't mean that something's wrong with you.
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  Feeling unmotivated, overwhelmed, lost, it doesn't
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  mean that something's wrong with you.
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  It just means you're feeling the weight of being alive.
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  And that's something that every single person that has ever
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  existed and every single person that will ever exist will deal
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  with. There's nothing wrong with you.
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  You're just human. And that's a truth that took me
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  5 long, long years to figure out.
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  I, I used to stay up every single night trying to figure
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  out what was wrong with me because I was so convinced that
• 2:02
  something was broken. I, I, I was like, I'm so sad all
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  the time. I'm so depressed, I'm so
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  anxious. Why do I feel this way?
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  And then when when I couldn't attach a tangible reason to that
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  feeling, I simply became convinced that I was broken,
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  that something was wrong. We live in a world that
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  constantly tells us we need to be more, more productive, more
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  confident, more healed, more successful, more happy, more
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  right. And when you're surrounded by
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  messages that scream be better, it's so easy to translate that
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  into I must be worse. But feeling like you could be
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  more doesn't mean that you're not enough.
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  Now. I mean really think about that.
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  Growth doesn't come from self hatred, thinking I could be more
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  therefore there's something wrong with me and I'm not
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  enough. I could be healed but instead
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  I'm sad so I must be broken and something is wrong with me.
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  That is not where real growth happens.
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  Real growth happens from love, not from hate.
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  Real growth is when you stop and you feel those feelings out of
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  love, when you feel that anxiety, when you feel that
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  sadness, when you feel that depression and you allow it to
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  exist. You allow it to be a part of you
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  and you learn from it and you love yourself Despite that.
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  That is where growth truly comes from.
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  Growth will never come from self hatred.
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  Healing doesn't require you to label yourself as broken.
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  Wanting to improve doesn't mean that you're starting from a
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  place of being defective. The feeling that something is
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  wrong with you is just a mismatch between your
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  expectations and your reality. You're expecting yourself to
• 3:58
  always know how to be, to always be stable, to always be happy,
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  to always be everything for everyone.
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  And when you don't meet those expectations, you feel like
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  you're falling flat. You feel like something is wrong
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  and you aren't enough. But the human experience is
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  literally the opposite of that. You're not meant to have it
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  figured out. You're not meant to feel good
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  every single day. You're not meant to move through
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  life without uncertainty or doubt or or pain or feelings.
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  So if you're asking yourself what's wrong with me, here's
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  another perspective. Nothing is wrong with you.
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  A feeling is happening inside of you, and those are two very
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  distinctly different things. Maybe you're tired because
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  you're caring too much. Maybe you're anxious because you
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  care deeply about something. Maybe you're sad because you're
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  grieving something, someone, a version of yourself.
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  Maybe you're unmotivated because your body is begging you,
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  Forrest. Maybe you're overwhelmed because
• 5:00
  you've been pretending to be strong for too long.
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  That doesn't mean something's wrong with you.
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  What you feel is not a flaw. It's a function and an
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  incredibly important part of being a human being.
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  That perfection we strive for to quote, fix whatever is wrong
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  with us. It isn't realistic and it isn't
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  true. Your struggles are not signs of
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  something wrong. They are signs that you're
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  alive, you're in motion, you're adapting, you're learning,
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  you're human. So the next time that question
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  pops into your mind, what is wrong with me, try answering it
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  differently instead of saying something is wrong with me and I
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  need to fix myself. I need to stop being sad, I need
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  to stop being anxious, I need to be more motivated, I need to be
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  better. Try saying something is
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  happening within me and I'm I'm allowed to feel it.
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  This is a moment, not a definition of who I am.
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  I don't need to fix myself. I need to understand myself.
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  I need to understand these feelings.
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  I need to sit with them. I need to learn.
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  I need to feel. Because what if there was never
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  anything wrong with you? What if those feelings aren't an
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  indication that something is wrong, but simply that you need
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  to feel something? Your feelings hold so much power
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  within you that they can cause you to assume that something is
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  wrong, to assume that there's something deeper going on.
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  But sometimes you just need to feel.
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  So I encourage you, when you feel some kind of difficult,
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  turbulent feeling, instead of immediately jumping to the
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  conclusion that something is wrong, try to just sit with that
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  feeling for 15 minutes in a quiet room.
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  Try to sit with it, see where it comes from, see where you feel
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  it and understand it. And then accept that you don't
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  have to do anything about it right away, that that feeling
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  can just exist within you. Yes, it's uncomfortable, but
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  it's better than thinking something is wrong.
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  There is nothing wrong with you. You are allowed to feel your
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  feelings. Thank you so much for being
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  here. If you need help feeling those
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  feelings, you should check out my music on all platforms under
• 7:23
  the name of Ethan Jewell. I almost guarantee it'll make
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  you cry. Also, drop a comment on this
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  episode. Let me know what you think about
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  this topic and the idea that maybe we just need to feel our
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  feelings a little bit deeper. So thank you so much for being
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  here. Thank you for understanding that
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  nothing is wrong with you and as always, thank you for feeling
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  your feelings. I'll see you next time.