Latest / Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily / There Are No Saints - by Sophie Lark

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There Are No Saints - by Sophie Lark · Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily

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Hi friends, you're listening to lose the plot with Carla and
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Emily in this episode we are reading there are no Saints by
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Sophie Lark. We are talking about the entire
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book, so warning, there will be spoilers.
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I'm Carla, and my nipples are harder than diamonds.
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They could cut his face if he leaned too close.
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Not the frickles, cackles. What's the what not the diples.
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Not the diamond dot nipples. Already lost it?
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We haven't even started. Ohh.
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I'm Emily, and I hope I've never had a boss lick my underwear.
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Nauseated. I'm sick of disgusting.
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You haven't even started and I'm sick as I can't even talk.
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Can I, like, make my nipples as hard as diamonds and then resell
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them so cut them off? Sure.
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So you want to be diplomatic? I want to be rich.
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So before we lose it too much, I thought this particular one
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needed a bit of a content warning.
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A bit of a trigger warning, yeah.
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Because I don't know. Just, I think it needs one.
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It's fucking chaotic. It's chaotic.
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So if you don't wanna listen to a story, well, if you don't want
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to read a story that has nonconsensual stuff in it, that
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is abusive, stalking, sexual abuse, kidnaps.
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Yeah, that kind of stuff. And.
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If you're sensitive to ask, making jokes, and ripping into
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it all, probably not the one for you.
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Skip over to our next episode, which is probably just as bad.
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Thank you. Oh, OK, so where do we begin?
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First of all, let's begin with blaming Hillary for picking this
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book. We have done a Sophie lock one
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before. It was a real treat but to be
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honest it makes her the best content.
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It was the best gift ever. Whatever reason, the lost Sophie
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Laquon remind me of the name of brutal Prince.
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Brutal Prince. Wait, was it?
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Yeah. So one night we talked about
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assholes for last. Really.
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Like, yeah. I thought it was that fun with
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this, with the weird cult that never made sense.
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That was mean someone else. I think that was someone else.
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Because I was gonna say my favorite memory of Sophie Lock
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is the is this The Amazing Race to the old man?
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Do you know that's not the same one?
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No, it's the one where it was the true Mafia families.
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Ohh different places, remember? OK gotcha.
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But to be honest, now that I know that I expected better from
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Sophie. Because that one has at least a
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bit of a plot. Actually, in the back of the
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book, you guys, if you like this one, check out brutal Prince
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stuff. Ohh, no.
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Brutal Prince is more like is better written than the sun.
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It's not badly written, it's just.
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Very off guard. Like, you get very caught off
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guard every now and then, just just tease you a bit back.
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So we introduced our main character, which is Mara.
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She's a struggling artist. She's barely making by cost of
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living crisis over here. She doesn't know how to do
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laundry. She lives with like 10 people in
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a sharehouse. You think they'd have one
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washing machine? They should be evicted.
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There's people living on top of people.
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Like how many rooms addict. Yeah, she lives in the attic.
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She's like. Queenie Todd up in this horror,
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she's like living like, I'm surprised she's not the creepy
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one. She's like Edward Scissorhands
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at the top of the house, just she sits on kind of Tim Burton
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situation. Yeah, so she's at the time
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living in an attic. Most of them are artists, so
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they're all wanna be ground level artists.
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Yeah, I don't know, like they're all working other jobs though,
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I'm assuming. I just don't understand.
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They're all looking for studios, right?
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Just kick 1/2 of the people out. Pikes Peak more out the fucking
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attic and use the attic share the addict.
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But how much room do you guys need?
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Surely there's some digital artists in there with an iPad?
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Ohh exactly. Where's that Commission?
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But who in this day and age, there's ten people living in one
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house who has the art space available?
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Who? Why is there that many art
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studios? I think they just live in an art
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town so that there must be an industry for it.
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Just don't live in an art town, then you've got more space.
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You know, competition. Take your shit, digitals.
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Take it. Make some stickers, sell them
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online. Yeah, think outside the box,
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people. Hmm.
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Ask. Just giving them career advice,
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knowing nothing. Ohh.
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So she works two jobs. She's a bartender and a waitress
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and a dog Walker. Oh, that's right.
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I forgot about her third job. So she's got three jobs.
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Yeah. How the fuck does she have time
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to make any artwork? She's running everywhere and
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she's not going to school for art, is she?
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She's just making it. Yeah.
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God, just apparently she's just that good, too.
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She's that good? Hmm.
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He's just that good. Sorry.
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Her and her friends, they're just out at an odd event or
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show. She she's a she's stains her
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dressed with some white. No, first of all, she uses the
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entrees as like a buffet. She's having dinner because she
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never eats. Why wouldn't you though?
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I would. How embarrassing.
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No, she's got no money at home for food.
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So when she goes to an event, she's scoffing everything.
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I would walk around with a plate practically what she was doing.
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Good. Then she should top it off.
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And she was drinking. Fine.
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And she spilled it all over her dress.
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Someone knocked it on her. Ohh OK yeah some guy named Jack
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makes a lot of sense. Ohh OK fuck Jack.
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And so we are introduced to Cole and Alistair.
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Alistair. Shaw.
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Is it Alistair or Alistair? Alistair.
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Alistair. Alistair.
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Alistair. Sorry, I'm turning everything
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Tim Burton. Yes, Sir, Colonel staff are both
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rival artists, but they're the they're the cream of the crop.
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They're like, they're topped their games.
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They're pretty much millionaires already.
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They're really only rivals with each other.
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Yeah, because they're right at the top there.
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Yeah. And so coal notices Mara in her
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dress with wine all over it and she like, runs off to the
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bathroom and he's thinking, ohh this stupid female.
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She's probably gonna just cry in the bathroom.
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And then she pops out and she's tie dyed.
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With whole dress, Christy queen. Drop it.
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We love it. You know for a fact that she was
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trying to wet that shit and put it under the hand dryer.
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How do you tie dye a whole white dress in eight minutes and have
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it like a public dry? And where is the supplies?
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Where's the bands to talk? Do you know how long it takes to
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tie dye something? Did she just take you out?
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Did you take it off and just pour wine on the whole thing on
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the grubby bathroom floor? Do you know what else is
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splattered all over her dress? Fucking poo.
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Bacteria. Fucking public bathroom floor.
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At least seven art shows, so it's half clean.
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You got a very expensive crowd in there.
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They've got to have a cleaner. Shit stains.
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And he's perplexed. He's like, ohh God Oh my God.
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That sounded like God. How interesting.
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So what? I expected at all how to
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actually have a brain. So he he noticed her I guess and
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you know. Whether you have to go and
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Alistair Alistar, Norris Cole. Looking at Mara.
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Right. Jealousy.
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Yes. You can't tell me he's not
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really into men. No.
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Hmm. So the coal calls him.
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Sure. Yeah.
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Because he doesn't like it. It's his surname.
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Whatever. Yeah, the tension.
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Attention. Could you feel it?
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Girl, the penile engine, the butterfly, the test.
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Testing testosteroni and tension.
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Whatever this straight male attention, that's what I'm going
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to call it from now on. I love how unhinged we are
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already. It's because of the content
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guys. You read this book and try not
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booking. Lose your mind within 5 minutes.
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Ohh. I mean I've read worse shit but
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still. OK.
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So look honestly I started this book when I was having a nice
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relaxing bother. Stressed because 5 seconds later
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we introduced to the fact that Cole and Ella store just
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happened to be Moyers than rival moviegoers.
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Right, and they know about each other.
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Yeah, but they're not topping each other in no call gets a
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step up though, because he doesn't matter.
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Women. Ohh, the Barlows.
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And how sorry he was. Has a penchant for vulnerable
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females. College girls.
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Hmm. Ted Bundy.
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Yeah, he was. I don't know why anyone thinks
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that he's attractive. Allstar Lister.
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Yeah. Anything that comes out of his
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mouth, I'm just like. But he's jacked, Emily.
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Jacked. I tell you jacked.
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That's all we get. This book is not great on
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descriptions, and I'll go into that a bit later, but I mean, it
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is, but the penis description really.
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Did you miss it? Last time, last time we wrote a
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book and you were sad that there wasn't enough description and
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that was a whole little little blurb about it.
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This time who's penis cult who? Yeah.
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Who's that guy? The tattoo guy?
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Ohh yeah yeah. They're only description we got
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was it's smaller. So we find out that Coles are
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murderer, but he kind of, like, wants to hunt down his prey.
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And there's a reason behind what he does.
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So he thinks he's better. Yeah.
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Than Alistair, who goes after just whatever he can get.
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Yeah. And he has the lust for the
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moedas. Yeah.
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And at this moment, I thought, did I just accidentally flip
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into a murder mystery book? But anyway, almost.
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Almost. So there's an art critic at the
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show and Coles just like, hmm, we'll see.
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We'll see what you say, what he publishes later.
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Tell me why I just skipped straight to a quote about the
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cheese pennies. I think I did too.
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Next notable thing, I think I did too.
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It was too much. So he didn't know her.
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Really. Like what?
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He didn't know her. He just seen her.
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Allison tried to murder her, and then that's how that starts.
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Because he's surprised that she's alive.
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So her roommate Aaron Hooks up with Alistair.
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Yeah. I don't think it's that night.
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I think there is another another art show.
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OK, so that's what it matters. Not that it matters.
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Either way, she's hog tied up and thrown into the back of a
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car. Mm-hmm.
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And then released into the woods.
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Yeah. Nipple.
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She can't see anything. Nipples pierced that one.
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Threw me out. She's throwing.
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But in a bad way. Tits on file, booty hole
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clenching. Dude, if I'm in a trunk and he
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wants trunk, my booty hole be clutching.
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Are you kidding? Shouldn't I trust?
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Oh, you can't just say yeah? If you're naked in some strong
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shit in their trunk, if you're already dead, it's supposed to
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be dead. Hmm.
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Shouldn't they can clean up your shit?
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Yeah, she was like semi naked balls and she she was wearing
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some weird bondage bralette thing.
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She was in bondage and heels. Umm she was in that thing that
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bras and things released as that Christmas special that I gave
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him. I'm not really mad about.
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She was wearing bras and things late as Christmas collection
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item. Yeah, her flaps were out.
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Yeah, her flaps were out. Loses the audience.
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We know who it is already. Ohh yeah it.
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There was never any mystery for us.
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There was no doubt, which was a bit annoying.
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Yeah. And then so she's lying there an
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inch from death and then ultimate doesn't kill her and he
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just leaves her there. She actually thinks that she's
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dying because yeah, he slashed down her arms and she's just
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fucking pissing out blood. Grouchy.
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Throbbing in a bad way. The grounds moist.
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It's warm. What's wrong with us?
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Yeah, so she's literally twitching, dying like a little
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cockroach on the ground, flailing in the wind, which is
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just embarrassing. If anyone even walked past me, I
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just keep going. This fucked you?
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Never. You never saw me here.
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Don't tell anyone who died wearing this.
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Just throwing me in the hole with everyone else and be like
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see that well 1 meter that way can you just push me into the
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well? I'll just come back like the
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chick from the ring. Oh my God, head back on.
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Popping out at CVS. I'm done.
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Look, I'm done. And then she sees a gorgeous
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face that looks like the devil himself.
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Or an Angel from above, which was.
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In so many ways she's like he is the devil, but he also is an
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Angel. He's a dark Angel.
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But do you know his description is always stunningly beautiful?
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Like Oh my gosh, so we're doing tooth.
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He probably looks like a boot, but but do you know what I think
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he actually looks like a bull fucking malnourished Victorian
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child. Ohh my has the plague.
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Oh my God. OK, so there's a bit in the
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book. He's like.
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She's like his body's on par with like a gymnast or a lean
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athlete. I was like.
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Fuck it, eat. There's no muscle tone.
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No, no. That's all organs, babe.
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You know that he's sickly and he, like, glistens.
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He's he's sweating. Do you real and.
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You would fly. He's slender, man.
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He's he is exactly like, who else is he?
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Like, why you can't tell me he doesn't eat at all during the
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day and then apparently it never sleeps.
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And apparently she has gorgeous June.
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You can't have a fucking both ways.
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I lost it. It doesn't sleep.
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You know he's got bags on bags on bags.
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They're just at his knees. They're saggy arse bags.
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Ah, if so if that fucking thing was looking at me, I'd be like
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cause it's giving Michael Jackson, he's giving cranberry.
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Thrill. No.
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Ohh fucked. I'd be like, kill me twice, kill
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me twice. Oh my God, is he walking
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backwards? Well, he's looking at her.
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He's he's curious. He's like, hmm.
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And then he stepped over like, she says, like a sack of
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potatoes. Imagine like the love of your
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life, you know, down the track. Just so you don't have one there
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now. You know, I mean, I love of the
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one. Yeah, yeah.
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It's down the track when she thinks back to how they met and
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she's like, ohh, you just left me in the cold bleeding.
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Yeah, that's where the bare minimum actually is in this day
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of dating. I mean, he couldn't even Chuck a
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jacket on a like. I didn't even give her a chance
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and cut the ties and just leave her there.
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I'm dead just imagining him throwing a fucking talkie jacket
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over. He's like oh like she coat.
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He's like, this is just a regular $20,000 car.
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Honestly, if he did chalk his coat on there that it said
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property of fucking coal, black wall, whatever the fucking name
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is, it's probably avoided with a fucking family Crest.
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Police still wouldn't care. They would still gather that
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they'd be like she stole it from instead be like she's suicidal
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now she needs to be charged with theft.
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Oh my God. Look her up.
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Anyway, so she's dying with her nipples pierced.
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Dying. Yeah, so he pierced her nips.
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I think it's funny because when he did it, he was like, shut up,
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it doesn't hurt that bad. Do you know how much it hurts
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when you don't know what's actually happening?
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Though? She can't.
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She's not looking down. She probably thought he was full
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tearing her nips off. Breast caress.
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So. But would you would you trust
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fucking this guy to do your number?
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What do you think? He's got antibacterial shit out?
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Don't know how she kept it. And her fucking nipples didn't
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turn black after time. That's what I mean.
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Do you reckon he got quality rings?
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No. Or is he cheap skate?
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Well, he's rich, but I don't know.
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Do you reckon you got that titanium?
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I don't. Did he get a nerve?
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Like how did her team not fall off?
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Ohh, you know. Sometimes they have nipples for
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boot. Yeah, no, that's just.
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We think about things too much. It's logical, you know, you need
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multiple different needles and clamps to do that job.
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Like you just jammed it in. He probably didn't even get
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through the full nipple. It's probably just on this.
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So Cole leaves her for dead. And she somehow, with the lost
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ounce of her mum's inner critic, mum Howard her out, held her up,
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that blood super slippery. And she somehow ran into the
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middle of a road and someone rescued her college kid who was
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probably like, what? Living the dream and wasn't.
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Weren't they drinking and driving?
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Yeah. Just dropped off at the hospital
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and fucked off. Yeah, Cole assumed she died.
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Yeah, but then he saw her just in passing.
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Right when she was. To work with something.
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Yeah. And he was like, how did she
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escape murder? Yeah, she was dead as a door
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now. Not even like, he wasn't even
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concerned that she would say anything, though.
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No, not concerned at all. You just forgot about it for a
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good, like three weeks. Yeah, he doesn't care.
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So he decides to start stalking her because that's always
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normal. That's how you get your first
19:43
girlfriend ever. Do you reckon he's never had a
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girlfriend? Yes, it's giving those.
19:47
Kind of vibes, isn't it? Yeah.
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So he started stalking her and, well, I don't even know.
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What's so fascinating? He's so he's so confused that
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she's just at work, living her life as if anyone can afford to
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just take 10 years off. I don't know.
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And she looks like 4 days off and everyone was mad at her for
20:08
being gone. Four days.
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Exactly. She's like lost her job and he's
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so out of touch. She thinks people are just born
20:16
with money and just if you're traumatized, you can just stop
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working and never smile again or something.
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Yeah, I know. It was just funny.
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I mean, it only took three weeks to get there, but it's it's
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fine. He was starting to get obsessed
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too, and then things escalated. Just psycho crazy, yeah.
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He broke into her attic room. Like he crawled in from the
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outside and went through all of her shit.
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How did you not notice a grown man that's apparently very tall
20:41
and very muscly? Slender man, slender man
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climbing up the trestles. 10 people in it.
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Well, he did say that those people in and out all the time,
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you would see someone climbing up the side of a house, though.
20:55
I know you totally would. But anyway, he broke into the
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attic and he was going through all her books like, my God, she
21:02
has a personality. She reads, she reads like, what
21:05
girl doesn't know this behind her?
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It's just like, come on, come on, how dare she read these
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quotes? And then he's like, Oh my God,
21:13
she has nightmares. Ohh.
21:15
And I forgot to mention at the very start he killed the art
21:18
critic. Ohh yeah but it was a very non
21:20
event. It was very she got picked up at
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the vent that he had sculpted the art critics batteries into
21:27
the sculpture. Yep, that's it.
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That's what he likes to do. He likes to use.
21:33
Barnes, he's very resourceful. Leftover bits from his leaders
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into his. He just casually dips them in
21:41
gold like no one's gonna notice. Well, no one is.
21:45
There's no police force, apparently.
21:48
I think he's wandering around. I don't know if it's exactly
21:50
when he's wandering around her room, but he's thinking.
21:54
I'm struggling to recall the exact shape and colour of her
21:57
nipples and the curve of her hips.
22:00
OK, bro. OK, there was a bit where like
22:03
Alistar. Was like egging him on before
22:06
and he's like, did you like her boots and that because he's like
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what you said that boobs. No, no, he's like pussy.
22:14
Usually looks like a handful of roast beef.
22:16
I don't like. Calm down.
22:18
No, he didn't say it usually does.
22:20
He said sometimes you get them naked and then it looks like
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that and it's like. Excuse me?
22:27
Excuse you. He 100% has acne on exhaust
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holes. On the whole.
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On the whole. Damn.
22:35
Wouldn't wish that upon anybody. Just pass it sexy.
22:39
Why is he so mad about it? Hmm.
22:42
So farm. It's like you're not the one
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owning. Like you're not the one who has
22:46
the beef flaps. So what are you?
22:51
What, are you killing them anyway?
22:53
I know. Ohh.
22:55
So he's in her room. He's looking around at her.
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Shit. You know what?
22:58
He sees some of her crusty dusty underwear on the ground.
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Oh my God, because she doesn't do laundry.
23:03
She never does laundry. Girl.
23:06
There's one bit there where she eventually goes laundromat,
23:08
right? And she goes, I haven't worn
23:10
underwear in three weeks. God, do you only have two
23:12
parties? How do you still have clothes
23:14
but you don't have underwear? She's just wearing the same
23:17
clothes. Like the ratio is just off.
23:19
Oh my God. Just only take your panties to
23:21
the laundry. But it sounds like she's got two
23:24
panties. Wash them in the sink.
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I know. Oh my God, you live in an attic?
23:29
Open the fucking window. No ones gonna even see
23:31
supposedly fucking how. Anyway, he's super hyped about
23:35
her crusty dusty underwear. Ohh grow he's he's like inhaling
23:41
it. He's inhaling the pussy fumes.
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This is the sweet sweet fumes ohh and then he just licks it.
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Ohh. I literally had to stop because
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I couldn't handle the fact that he was like, I just don't like
23:55
tongue out taste it. I was in the bath and I think I
23:58
fall. Just disassociated.
24:00
What if she had like skinnies? Literally.
24:04
He doesn't know what's going on in this girl's panties.
24:05
She's practically a stranger. Probably worn them for about 3
24:08
weeks. What if she had the BV or a
24:11
thrush infection at the time? He's just sitting there like.
24:16
Juicy. Oh my God succulent panties.
24:22
OK, the bit that I was dying he he wraps the fucking undies
24:27
around his Dick. And wanks with it.
24:31
Ohh. Felt like yeah, while waiting
24:34
for ages. He's just casual having to wait
24:36
in the bedroom. I would love him.
24:38
One of the roommates walked in and I was like hold up grown man
24:42
just laying on her floor mattress full pervert.
24:45
You know he's like Joe from you 100% and you know she has 200%.
24:49
Doesn't have sheets on her bed either.
24:51
No, no there's no way. So this is what he said about
24:54
the jizz panties. That skimpy black fabric feels
24:57
better around my cock than. Any actual pussy I've ever
25:01
fought. Shut up Sir.
25:03
What do you say? What pussy are you fucking
25:05
fucking him to? Ghost Christmas pussy.
25:09
Like, look up. Emily, it's it's tracking with
25:14
your theory of him being a virgin.
25:17
Because he hasn't actually had pussy.
25:19
Not really. It's that it's like cheap
25:22
underwear too. It's probably falling apart, you
25:24
know, it's from Kmart, you know, after like a while they start to
25:28
like, go spin yes and see through.
25:31
You probably poked a big hole in it with his Dick.
25:36
She's like, hold up. He probably fucking ate of.
25:40
She's like, she's like, why is there a hole in the butt?
25:49
In order to John, he thinks of this and just leaves them there.
25:54
Are you ready for another quote? Kimmy, this is fucked.
25:57
Alright, here we go. This is what calls thinking.
26:00
I love the thought of my Cam on her bare flesh.
26:04
This is later when she popped up real quick.
26:06
Yeah. How long does sperm survive?
26:08
I wonder if those desperate miniscule swimmers are trying to
26:11
wriggle inside her right now. Excuse me Sir.
26:14
The only thing desperate is you know.
26:19
Just prefer when they would be desperate, then you could just
26:22
refer with them Christmas pussy past.
26:34
Sorry, I'm very on the Tim Burton right now.
26:36
Like everything just nightmare before pussy.
26:44
Nothing to dude. What does he think this is?
26:47
Like, what does he think they are?
26:49
Sea monkeys? That you just dehydrate them and
26:51
then you fucking rehydrate them and then she just rehydrates
26:54
with her discharge? The best thing is she came home
27:04
and she was getting ready for a date and she thought, you know
27:05
what, I'm going on a date. They thought about how to do one
27:08
of my dirty hand wash my dirty skinny underwear because she
27:13
doesn't shower. Yeah, you know what I wanna do?
27:17
Yeah, you don't wanna do. She ran from walking dogs
27:22
straight to getting ready for a date.
27:24
She wants to put them crusty thought before she goes and
27:26
meets up with a boy. They're probably rock hard.
27:29
Well, not anymore. But like, yeah, she'd probably
27:32
need to hammer smash the fucking jizz out of them.
27:37
But she doesn't know she leaves them for like another month
27:41
before they get washed. And she sniffs them and she says
27:45
they smell like bleach. No, she says.
27:47
I know what cum smells like. And then she's like maybe it was
27:49
my one of my roommates. And then she's like, no, it
27:52
wouldn't be. And just she's out the door is
27:54
it can't come from then bitch. I just love that.
28:01
It's just never revisited. No, don't set up security
28:04
cameras or anything. Just she's too poor.
28:06
Ohh, my bad. Sorry, sorry.
28:08
I've got a really one. She can't even afford new
28:10
underwear. True.
28:12
I've really gotta get a bit of perspective here.
28:15
I just don't understand why she just doesn't wash them in this.
28:17
Like her clothes in the sink. Dude, do you think she's paying
28:20
the water bills? I don't think so.
28:22
She turns the tap and then just dust comes out.
28:25
They don't have a lot of hot water.
28:26
Bring the panties in with you at least.
28:28
Just wear them in the shower or put them on the floor while
28:31
you're sharing so they can have a bit of a rinse and then wash
28:34
it up on the way out. Like what are you doing girl?
28:36
Yeah, or put a bucket in there and then you've got pretty much
28:39
clean water to surely someone elses.
28:41
They're all struggling artists, surely?
28:45
Just the idea of his dusty sperm, which Lily hours dinner,
28:49
probably molding by the time she washes them, and she he
28:52
literally thinks they're trying to crawl away their way into
28:55
her. Where does he think it's going?
28:56
Where? Up her fucking vagina hairs.
28:59
But where is it going? It can't get all the way.
29:01
It's not even in the tunnel. It's not a fucking crawler, it's
29:04
a swimmer. This is something kangaroo,
29:06
baby. What is going on?
29:08
It's not climbing Mount Everest to get there.
29:10
So she goes On this date with this guy Josh.
29:12
I don't know why she's dating him.
29:13
I don't even know. He sounds like an arse.
29:15
The problem with the character like this is they're supposed to
29:17
make you feel that Coles better. I'm like, not really.
29:21
No way calls better. No.
29:23
But they always Chuck in the asshole that doesn't listen to
29:26
us sort of thing. Yeah.
29:27
And you're supposed to side with the obsessive freak with no
29:31
boundaries. I mean, go with the guy that
29:34
came in your underwear so you can wear them when you take.
29:37
Yeah. Attention if you have STD Oh my
29:42
God it probably came out like dust.
29:45
It probably, actually you know what?
29:46
He probably wants that much. He probably came out bloody.
29:49
I feel like. I feel like he's not even a
29:51
person. He's a demon.
29:54
He's a guy, he's supernatural being.
29:56
He's a Sinner ghost jizz little ghost floaties.
30:01
He wants to ramp up his stalking even more and he actually finds
30:05
there's a house behind Mary's for some reason.
30:07
That's fucking hella tall as hers and it's. $800 a night on
30:11
Airbnb for three months? He gets that.
30:14
What the fuck, Sir? How much is that?
30:17
It's $24,000 a month. You work, you call.
30:24
He just has money to spend. Just buy a prostitute who
30:28
pretends that they're not into you and call it a day.
30:31
Call that a day. Anyway, I know that when I'm
30:36
just chilling on my balcony at home and it happens to start
30:39
raining, I know I always strip off and just start masturbating,
30:43
right? You you take out the mattress,
30:45
you probably can't clean or dry, because why the fuck is she got
30:48
a dry mattress in the rain when she knows that she can't afford
30:54
to have anything cleaned? That's merciful for mold.
30:57
Does she just leave it out there for the next couple of weeks?
31:00
Probably. You probably smells it.
31:02
Wouldn't it needed a rinse? Because she doesn't have sheets.
31:06
But you don't just wash the mattress like that.
31:08
It's never going to get dry. So she's out there and she's
31:11
just going for gold. She's going for gold and he's
31:14
staring at her. He's living.
31:16
He's having another wank. Ohh.
31:18
He never stops wanking about it. He never stops wanking.
31:21
Ohh. He kind of like, well, she was
31:25
introduced to him and she found out that he's.
31:29
Got this scholarship program sort of thing.
31:31
Yeah. So here originally he's like,
31:33
well, she has no studio now. Better than to just give her one
31:37
for super cheap for $200.00 a month that she doesn't have to
31:40
pay a deposit for. How perfect.
31:42
Yep. So he just weasels his way into
31:44
her life. Yeah, and she meets him and
31:47
realizes, holy shit, it's that guy who left me for dead.
31:50
How dead? That dark Angel.
31:53
I'm just imagining these people around and she's like a dark
31:57
Angel. And yeah and she's like ohh I
32:01
hope he doesn't. She thought she didn't get the
32:04
scholarship because she thought ohh he hates me like that.
32:07
Typical dynamic ohh the rich and powerful man.
32:10
What does he see in mean? Oh my God I'll never be good
32:13
enough. I'll never.
32:14
But it's just he's just trying to get close to her because he's
32:17
a fucking psycho 100%. You know, I wanted to be an
32:22
artist when I was looking, but, you know, in this book, it just
32:26
gave me so many reasons why that would give me such the egg.
32:29
Because you had to explain your reasoning behind your artwork in
32:33
front of other people. Yeah.
32:35
Can't imagine anything more embarrassing.
32:37
And some of the names are like ill.
32:40
He wants to have lunch with her the next day or something.
32:42
Like he harasses her at work. Yeah.
32:45
And he waits around until she's free.
32:46
OK, this bit confused me because I was like, here's the most
32:50
disgusting man. And then he's like frothing over
32:53
bacon. I'm like, how nice.
32:54
And I'm like, excuse you Emily, the brain it in.
32:57
But has he ever eaten? No, because he's because they
33:01
bring out a breakfast spread and suddenly he's having mimosas and
33:04
like, having a gay old time. And like, bro, I don't know,
33:07
it's because he's never had that combination because he's never
33:09
been in. He's so repressed.
33:12
And then the boss was egging her on, even though this was
33:15
obviously a creeper. Zoid obsessed with her 100%.
33:18
And the boss is like, go on Mara.
33:21
Like, why aren't you dating him? I mean, relax, talking me at
33:24
work? Just because someone's
33:25
attractive doesn't mean they're good for you, no, what the heck.
33:29
Also, if he's stalking her at work, you would think that boss
33:32
would know a bit better, having probably loads of young female
33:35
employees that you don't just fucking palm them off onto
33:38
weirdos that are waiting for them.
33:41
This is amazing money for me. If he comes every day to watch
33:44
her, ohh God. But he was using up a table and
33:48
not buying anything for ages. He waited till her shift was
33:51
over. And this is what he says.
33:53
He goes. You'll be my protege.
33:56
We'll get to know each other. I'll give you advice and you'll
33:59
flourish. What do you think that really
34:01
means? Emily translated.
34:03
I'm going to groom you. Literally, that's what I got out
34:08
of it. It's literally like, I want to
34:10
possess you and there's gonna be an awkward boss student dynamic.
34:15
Hmm. I'm gonna watch you all the
34:17
time. So it's pretty much like, do you
34:19
want that girl? Because I know you have no
34:20
options because you're this close to being evicted, so you
34:24
can't even pay your rent. Bitch.
34:25
She doesn't have any option. She's literally just been
34:27
recently traumatised. Yeah.
34:30
I don't know why she's so like, yeah, OK, I'll think about it
34:34
because she has no options. That's that's the only reason.
34:37
Because remember she was didn't have food.
34:41
Disgusting. So it's not even that she wants
34:44
to. It's that if she didn't have
34:46
that, she would pretty much just give up her career.
34:48
So Fast forward, she has her own art studio and she's been
34:52
working on stuff and then she has her little opening show.
34:55
Yeah. And this is when she starts
34:57
because he's been grooming her, like you said.
34:59
Yeah, yeah, he's, he's grooming us.
35:00
So he's been laying it on thick in the meantime.
35:03
Yeah. And.
35:04
So at the show, she sort of realizes that she is attracted
35:07
to him. Meanwhile, looks like you're
35:10
just groomed, groomed. And so she goes into a room with
35:13
him and then she starts on buckling his pants.
35:17
She's that hyped on him because she kissed him.
35:20
Elliot. Yeah, she's hyped.
35:21
And then she gets down on her knees.
35:23
And then lo and behold, there's a fucking fully grown man in the
35:25
room with them. And he's like, you know, I could
35:27
share. And calls like, hmm, this is the
35:32
first time you're gonna suck my Dick.
35:33
But since this guy happens to be in the right place at the right
35:36
time, let's just offer him a blower as well.
35:39
Oh my God, what a Dick. And then she was like, no, she
35:42
literally had just met this dude.
35:44
And also it was so fucking awkward.
35:45
She was explaining her feelings to Cole in front of this
35:48
complete stranger. Yeah, she's like, I actually was
35:51
genuinely interested in fucking, you know?
35:53
Brings it up. He's like every two seconds he's
35:56
like, Oh my God, she was interested in me.
35:58
Oh my God. You're right, there's a bit.
36:01
The first time they kiss when she's like out of nowhere, just
36:04
kisses him in front of all the cameras.
36:06
And she's like, not the mass, not the predator.
36:09
I taste the fucking animal. That animal is hungry.
36:12
It attacks my mouth, it bites my lip, it swallows me whole.
36:15
And I literally wanted to die. Who talks like that in their
36:20
head? She was like 20 people.
36:23
She was dripping with blood. And they're just like, could you
36:26
imagine, like all the blood just pulling out of you?
36:30
And then the random guy in the rooms, like 88, I'm like, rates
36:35
of room. And then she leaves.
36:38
And then the guys like, oh, and didn't he say, like, worth a
36:41
try? But though, bro, what, what try?
36:45
And then she runs off with the tattoo artist.
36:48
Yeah. Is bang on camera because she
36:50
knows that there's a camera in the art studio.
36:53
We love a revengeful queen. Yeah.
36:56
So she's like, I'm just gonna fucking this guy on campus.
36:59
Yep. All over the place, everywhere,
37:02
mess. As if you're gonna get
37:04
everything on that one camera angle.
37:07
He must have multiple camera angles like he must do.
37:10
He must have the best camera quality I know because you step
37:13
out of frame and it doesn't even like it.
37:15
Must have a wide angle. So The funny thing.
37:19
Be like in fisheye angle shouldn't even look good.
37:22
They just look like a little BLOB in the corner.
37:24
Oh my God no. The best part is that later he
37:26
reveals that he watched her bang that guy on footage over 100
37:31
times. Yeah because he just wanted to
37:34
know everything about her. What she likes, what she
37:35
dislikes. She was like into it but she
37:37
wasn't that into it seemed pretty standard.
37:40
I love when she hung up the paint and he's office, right?
37:44
The painting in his office. And he's like, I can tell that's
37:47
her butt cheek. I'm like that's Logan's cheek.
37:49
She was on top. Yeah.
37:50
What do you mean? And you're probably over Logan's
37:54
asshole. I would love if the hole was
37:56
imprinted, but she had a nipple print somewhere on it and she
38:00
was like ohh so nipple. I'm surprised he didn't eat it.
38:04
Oh my God. Imagine him licking the booty
38:06
hole on this. Slogans.
38:09
I'm like they're Logan's cheeks if they're anyone.
38:11
Yeah, ohh, that's so funny. Not this stupid boy playing.
38:18
Oh my God. Yeah.
38:20
What are you fucked to that? It's just I actually hate books
38:25
that have like that many song references in them.
38:28
I can't stand it. It's just not OK just leave it
38:30
out. Just don't just don't don't
38:33
ruins the mood. It does when I if there's a
38:35
Spotify link die. No, I'm kidding.
38:39
I feel like I'm dying, rice. So there was one point.
38:44
And he was all pissed because he's all Jelly, even though
38:46
they're not even in a relationship and he just asked
38:48
her to blow a different dude. Yeah, yeah, standards are high
38:52
and stuff. And he's thinking to himself,
38:55
the second I get my hands on her phone, I'm putting a tracker on
38:58
it. Like that isn't a problem.
39:00
That's gonna help. It's not like he doesn't follow
39:03
where everywhere already. You know?
39:04
He's literally Joe from you. He already watched her have sex.
39:09
Like he watched her leave. And then got the notification
39:12
when she got to the apartment, the studio.
39:14
I know. What more can he do?
39:15
What? And then he follows her home
39:17
anyway. Yep.
39:18
And this is when he entraps her. This is the hotter than diamond
39:25
nipples theme. Oh my God.
39:27
You know what? Also before that scene?
39:29
Hmm. While he's watching it on his
39:31
phone. Yeah, yeah, he's wanking at the
39:33
art show. He's like, I exploded all over
39:36
this landscape painting. I'm like, where are you?
39:39
Are you still in the office or because he stormed out of the
39:43
office? Yeah.
39:44
Is he just in the corner and everyone's home?
39:46
Everyone's ignoring. No, he never left the art show.
39:49
I wanna know how this man has so much jizz.
39:53
Surely it hurts after a while. He has a he just has an endless
39:56
supply. She's just shooting it all over
39:59
again. This is he's just everything.
40:00
He's leaving his DNA fucking everywhere.
40:04
He's not that it matters. I mean, not that he murders
40:06
people. The police don't wouldn't even
40:08
care if they saw his DNA anywhere.
40:11
So yeah, she gets like, he pretty much kidnaps her.
40:13
Yeah, and he ties her down. He got he has her and all in
40:16
shackles and everything, but he's like groping her and she
40:19
likes it at the same time as this one.
40:21
He's tattooing it. Yeah, OK, I know he's an artist,
40:25
but how are you? How?
40:27
How? The lines aren't straight.
40:29
There's no fucking way he is rubbing her clit and like she's
40:34
like leaning on him and he's getting straight lines while
40:37
she's like quivering and he's left-handed.
40:41
So he's tattooing with his left hand.
40:43
And then he's fiddling her diddling.
40:46
He's fiddling the diddle. He's diddling the fiddle.
40:49
Yeah, at the same time. And she's like just loving it.
40:52
And she's quaking all over the place.
40:54
She's quaking. She didn't even quite, do you
40:56
think even question it. Also, just because you're an
40:58
artist doesn't mean you know how to tattoo.
41:01
It's a totally different thing. At least practice for a couple
41:03
of hours. Paul Logan's probably fucking
41:05
got loser written on his four, actually.
41:09
But it's OK because he's got the green soap, he's got the green
41:12
soup, so he's keeping it clean. At least one of them keeps it
41:14
clean, but he's got like, fucking black nipples from them
41:19
falling off. He doodled all over her existing
41:21
tattoo. Like, what if you really liked
41:23
that tattoo and you just fucks it up?
41:25
He's like, yeah, he could have been the worst tattoo artist.
41:28
He probably was. And it was a full side piece.
41:32
It was big, yeah, and it was big, right?
41:35
But also, it only took a small amount of time to do perfectly.
41:39
While he was flicking the bean. Well she's can't even hold
41:46
herself up and she's like arms above her head leaning on her.
41:49
I was like but her arms are dead but then she can straight away
41:52
do a tattoo on him. Ohh I know for hours until
41:57
morning the most perfect snake tattoo on his back.
42:02
She said. I turned my head, biting hard on
42:06
my own shoulder. Like go hell.
42:08
How she positioned? Is it like she's like this?
42:13
Yeah, OK, we worked it out. Never mind.
42:16
No. But still, why would that be a
42:19
thing to do? I just how's his hand?
42:22
Like, how's he? She's wearing overalls.
42:24
Is he like his hands? He's under butt cheek.
42:27
Like, I'm sorry, but how do you even do an entire side tattoo
42:31
when someone wearing overalls? When did she shackle him down?
42:36
No, he just laid down. He just left.
42:39
He's like, I trust you. And then she just freehanded a
42:42
double snake tattoo with the perfect proportion.
42:45
I just wanna know how she got a perfect white snake tattoo
42:48
exactly. Well, he's that white.
42:50
She just didn't do any black. She's just the outline.
42:54
I feel like this white and black.
42:55
It's skin toned, my friend. But you just happen to have all
42:57
the correct inks and everything he's got everything.
43:00
He even said he has all the supplies, you know, that he
43:02
wouldn't give her a new needle so that they'd be more
43:05
connected. God.
43:07
And then what? They've got these fucking
43:08
matching tattoos, so we're expected to believe they like
43:11
each other now. The fuck he's obsessed with her,
43:15
but he lorki gets feelings for her so easily considering he's a
43:18
psychopath and he has no feelings.
43:20
Ohh, I know, how dare convenient.
43:22
How dare she have enough personality to stroke his ego?
43:28
It was. It's just she only has feelings
43:31
for this man because he's constantly in her presence,
43:33
whether she likes it a lot, not a proximity thing, and he's
43:36
abusing his position of power. So this is where she decides
43:40
also that he has the most amazing body.
43:46
It's cold. Made her lose her job at the
43:48
bar. Oh my God.
43:50
Because he tried to fight someone.
43:52
A guy was just being a regular Dick to her at the bar, which is
43:55
pretty standard. And he's like, you know, I'll
43:57
just commit a matter in public. I'll just gloss the guy and just
44:00
leave in front of everyone and he just walks away.
44:03
He doesn't go far, never gets into trouble, he never gets into
44:05
trouble and he would be on CCTV. They don't care.
44:11
He glossed too. Yeah, he he gloss.
44:14
Someone smashed a glass on the back of someones head and then
44:16
he literally like swiped across their face across someone's
44:20
entire face, fucking ear to ear. You don't think some, like
44:23
college boy with some very unhappy parents is gonna come
44:26
out you? I know no police are on his ass
44:29
ever. And when she visited the police
44:32
after her attack, they're like, yeah, yeah, female, shut up.
44:34
You're obviously trying to kill yourself.
44:36
Brain don't work. Find our work female stupid.
44:42
Female sorry. Sad. 5 minutes.
44:47
But The funny thing is he goes gorilla brain.
44:49
What? So he did those as well to her
44:52
old self harm scars. OK, so if you ever self harm you
44:56
can't never allowed to contact or assault you are immediately.
45:01
Don't count as a murder victim. No, it's always just you doing
45:04
it to yourself. I mean so it's it's not OK when
45:08
she does it, but it's OK when they do it.
45:11
Literally. Because it's OK if men hurt you,
45:16
but it's not OK if you hurt yourself, hmm?
45:20
Isn't that an interesting dynamic at a time?
45:23
What a time, what a time to be alive.
45:26
They're like couples wives and they go is this weird matching
45:29
sort of couples costume to a Halloween party, as if nothing's
45:32
a problem at all. Yeah, like this is a healthy
45:34
adjusted relationship. Yeah, like they both painted
45:36
themselves. It's fine, that's a normal
45:38
thing. And they're just making out on
45:41
the way out. They run into shore power ** and
45:46
then he's like, this bitch doesn't mean fuck to me and
45:49
we're about to go bang. And then she's sitting right
45:51
there, like the fuck she doesn't know who else she's like.
45:56
So you stalking me 24/7? Nearly killed two guys at my bar
46:00
and he's where the poor girl had to fucking drop her ice tray
46:04
twice. Yeah, and he's just like, she's
46:06
just my student. This is totally platonic.
46:09
Let's go. While he's like covered in like
46:11
green paint and she's covered in white paint.
46:14
And then there were just about to go bang too.
46:17
He just keeps missing the mark. He must be getting so annoyed.
46:21
And he's just trying to throw Alistair off the scent, but he's
46:24
picked it all up. It was just really fun, yeah.
46:28
And now Cole's freaking out because now Alistair knows that
46:31
she's alive for one, and two, that he likes her.
46:34
So she's going to be the next target.
46:36
Yeah, because he knows that Alistair is going to plot to
46:39
kill her. Now Mary's mad at him, so they
46:41
don't see each other for the next couple of days either.
46:43
So he's got, he's got an puppy stalking, you know, so she just.
46:46
Yeah, so she just goes to him for a couple of days.
46:49
Not that it matters, because, you know, he's there anyway.
46:51
He's probably put the tracker on.
46:52
They're still spending time together.
46:54
She just doesn't know about it. There's no alone time in this
46:56
book. No, exactly.
46:58
So she thought she didn't peace. No, she kidding.
47:01
He's probably timing her dumps. He's probably scoop it up eating
47:05
them out of the bowl. He's probably got those little
47:09
pinhole cameras all over her apartment.
47:11
No, and ones directly pointed out the toilet with a black
47:14
light. Oh my God, absolutely not.
47:19
So she's finally doing laundry and he thinks it's been enough
47:21
time. Yeah.
47:22
Of her ghosting him. Yeah.
47:24
So once the little old Asian lady is out of the shop, he
47:28
comes in and dry homes are on the dry up.
47:32
Could you imagine five though? He's like all soaking wet.
47:36
She's thrusting in the dryer. I would be.
47:39
I would be quaking, quaking and pussy throbbing pussy in a good
47:46
way. Pussy dripping.
47:50
Not much though, because she's standing in front of a hot
47:52
dryer. Yeah, it's just evaporating that
47:54
shit. If I was that old Asian lady,
47:57
like if I was still in there and I just saw some people humping,
47:59
I'd be like, she's, you know, she has a boring day.
48:02
She's probably got her magazine and she's like, she's like, ohh.
48:07
For free. I can get this channel at home.
48:14
Oh my God, I'd be like. No.
48:20
So anyway I'll put that away for later.
48:24
And then doesn't his fingers start slipping in and he just
48:27
does 3 little puppies and then she I like ohh that's me OK, I
48:31
don't know what it is with men and books able to give quick
48:35
orgasm because dream and it's not a life I live dreaming is it
48:41
the female authors faults that they who is at fault here?
48:45
Is this a Fanny fantasy book? This is the funny part.
48:50
Yes, it is that really. This is very much the funny
48:53
part. But come on, three finger
48:55
puppies and you're having an orgasm, girl.
48:56
Be fucking for real. Be for real.
48:58
Be for real. It was all the dry.
49:00
It was nothing to do with the fingers.
49:02
It was the full vibrate. She better fucking suck that
49:05
orgasm back up and be fucking for real.
49:09
Take it back right now. See you back.
49:11
The entire female populace. You're disappointing.
49:14
You're disappointing us. You're misrepresenting us.
49:17
Really. It's the dryer.
49:19
She's been up against that dry for hours, but she literally
49:23
just pieced together the whole sure thing.
49:25
Yeah, and then coal comes in and he's pushing her against the
49:29
dryer and everything. She's just shook it.
49:31
Timing. It was the extra shockness that
49:34
led to the orgasm. Timing is always right.
49:38
He literally says to himself at one point that sliding my cock
49:42
inside her would be like strapping into an electric
49:44
chair, Sir. So I don't know if you know what
49:50
happens. Have you watched the green mile?
49:54
There's no waking up after that. Pussy.
49:58
Strong pussy. Powerful letter like what is
50:02
going on? Pussy lights out like she's
50:06
strong. Coochie gym.
50:12
Ohh power. Like what?
50:16
He just plugs in and just like. Short circuits.
50:21
Well, if the fucking crusty underwear was getting him off
50:24
that much, then I wouldn't be surprised.
50:27
Yeah. So they're taking it back to his
50:30
studio. So because they're finally gonna
50:32
bang, he says, you know, I'm finally gonna take you back to
50:35
the studio, the elusive exclusive studio.
50:38
I know. And she's like, oh shoot, it's
50:41
like, she's like, I might die. But it's OK.
50:44
I'm OK with that. I'll be ready to die at this
50:46
point, too, anyway. No bills then.
50:51
No cost of living crisis, then no weird Victorian attic house,
50:55
then no stalker then. So I think she's ready to just
50:59
be done. Yeah, because she now knows.
51:01
She has pieced together that he's also a murderer.
51:04
Yeah, and she saw him outside and she's like, no, he is shit,
51:08
there he is. What?
51:09
There it is. She's OK with it.
51:14
You know what's really good? What?
51:15
He's been stalking her playlist somehow, probably because of the
51:19
spy app he's got in her phone. Yeah.
51:21
And he's curated a beautiful playlist.
51:24
Right on. And as soon as they come in the
51:25
studio, he's like, he like, locks her in.
51:28
Yeah. And then he goes, I've created
51:30
this playlist that's exactly to your specifications.
51:34
Imagine if you press play and baby shark to start talking,
51:37
echoing through the entire studio, and she shackled down.
51:42
And she's like, isn't this like, like kids playlist?
51:46
Things pop, yes, and it's like, it's like the 50 Shades of Grey
51:51
soundtrack, but kids bop addition.
51:55
I would fuck with her and just put on something just hectic.
51:58
I mean yeah, I love that he decided he was gonna murder her
52:01
until she was like, you know what, I think you're just
52:03
protecting me. And he's like, ohh, maybe I am.
52:06
Maybe that one that maybe we can do that.
52:09
Maybe. Let's work, let's travel.
52:14
He only agreed. Well, he only decided not to
52:17
kill her when she voluntarily gave up her hand through the
52:21
shackle. Ohh yeah ohh he she wants this
52:23
now. Now.
52:24
I'm not into it. No, because consent is the
52:27
opposite of what he wants. Yeah, once she's consenting to
52:30
something, his Dick just goes floppy.
52:34
Apparently not, except for later.
52:37
Oh my God this is the most fucked up.
52:39
I can't believe this is the build up of the whole fucking
52:41
book cause they haven't technically had sex this whole
52:44
book. Yeah and this is the sex.
52:47
Oh my God. I just can't believe she broke
52:50
his come like a gift. That's not on my wish list for
52:55
Christmas. I know.
52:56
I I feel like his jeans would be what's the deal?
53:00
Yes, style. How does he produce too much in
53:03
Sally watery? Lumpy kiss kiss.
53:11
It's just piss. He's like dehydrated.
53:18
It doesn't pop of smoke. Oh my God, be fucking for real.
53:24
So anyway, he's there. Baby shark is fucking bouncing
53:27
off the walls. Yeah, and then he's deciding
53:29
what positions he's gonna put her in.
53:31
He pulls out some fucking customized dildo vibrator.
53:36
Vibrator. Yeah, sure, but how does he have
53:39
the time? You know what I think he's done?
53:41
He's like molded her pussy while she's being asleep one night.
53:44
Like he's crept into her room and doesn't look like clone a
53:47
vagina thing. Yeah, that it perfectly is
53:49
molded to you know how she thinks I'm so special.
53:52
Was perfectly molded to my pussy.
53:54
He's probably just hit up fucking lovehoney.com lots bon
53:59
and then just literally big old Dick vibrator.
54:05
The biggest vibrating head and she's sitting here thinking
54:09
she's special. She's kind of one of those not
54:12
like other girls. Ohh.
54:13
Yeah but she's not obnoxious about it.
54:15
Yeah, she's just kind of unconscious to it but she is a
54:18
pygmy. Think it's because of all the
54:20
trauma from her mum. She's just surprised someone
54:22
cares enough about it to make it.
54:24
Yeah, but this is perfect vibrator.
54:26
It's not good girl. And then she instantly the
54:29
vibrator touches her and she's like on another fucking planet
54:31
because she's never used a vibrator.
54:33
Emily. How come this keeps happening?
54:36
Couldn't afford one. She couldn't afford one girl.
54:40
Vibrators. These days you can get one for
54:42
$15. She did say she couldn't afford
54:44
a good one. But she's never used one ever
54:47
before. This vibrator probably cost
54:49
about 60 grand, knowing that's his lunch money expensive than a
54:53
grand piano. Somehow he was ready to murder
54:57
her, but had like a vibrator ready just in case he changed
55:00
his mind. Yeah, he's like there's like a
55:02
machete, and I've been accidentally grabbed the wrong
55:06
one. How do we even get through this?
55:10
OK just click away everybody. This.
55:12
You don't need to get to the trigger warning.
55:14
For some of them reason, he's wants to start off with the
55:17
stepdad trauma and that's how he's really after her millionth
55:22
orgasm. I would die if I had that many,
55:26
I'd be passed out. Well, he's just, he's giving her
55:29
a million orgasms and then he starts spanking her and he's
55:31
like, have you ever been spanked before?
55:33
And she's like yeah. And then like all his childhood
55:35
traumas coming out and then the second she's.
55:38
Still, just explaining. Ohh yeah, he and he he pretty
55:41
much. So her stepdad abused her.
55:43
Yeah, and it kind of towed on the line of sexual abuse as well
55:46
because obviously he got her to dress up in her school uniform
55:49
up to the age of 13 and he spanked her bare ass.
55:52
No underwear on. Yeah, so she socks on.
55:54
It's essentially admitting that there was sexual abuse.
55:56
Yeah, and what does he do? The second he says that sexually
56:00
abuses her, he just slides his entire Dick in Ohh and she's
56:04
like no and he just jams it in, jams it in, jams it in, but you
56:09
know what? She likes it.
56:10
And then she orgasms straight away immediately.
56:12
But then we just keep going. But then he just flips her over
56:15
right? And then he without asking or
56:19
anything, he's just ramming her ass all night.
56:24
It just never stops. And he's doing it over and over
56:26
to the same song. She's like, I just love more
56:29
harder like on the spanking I'm like.
56:33
It's like I've seen what you've done, but the way you got there
56:36
is not how I would have thought to go.
56:39
It's just forever asked then yeah.
56:42
No Lube and she literally said the and it was like the feeling
56:47
of being fucked by a horse and that's when I pretty much wanted
56:51
to yeet my Kindle across the room that you were done.
56:55
I'm done. I almost logged out.
56:58
I yeah I wasn't ready for it to go for like a couple of pages of
57:01
just asked and spanking. It was traumatic.
57:04
It was strange. It's like rinse and repeat.
57:06
It was jamming into asshole for no reason but he never runs out
57:10
of jizz so he's just coming and coming.
57:12
Take some like why? Right.
57:13
Grow something that shouldn't make you just be able to keep
57:16
reproducing just that fast. He doesn't have sex enough to
57:20
have that much seminar to go for like hours.
57:23
Literally. They were jamming us till was
57:25
sent some came up and you know what?
57:27
When he finally unstrapped her, she's like you know what asshole
57:31
again and just yeah. She's like, I'm good now.
57:36
We've been doing that. The pain's been gone for like 5
57:38
hours ago when we started. So you're gonna asshole is just
57:41
like gaping, just gaping, dripping.
57:45
She's concerned that if she doesn't keep plugging it, she's
57:47
got no underwear. She said she's fucking.
57:52
This is her life out of her. This is her life now.
57:55
Just this is what it is. This.
57:57
It sounded like a complete nightmare.
57:59
And the fact that there was apparently a song on replay for
58:01
hours is just like, I can't. I.
58:04
Did you listen to the song? No.
58:07
No, I didn't either. And I don't know what it was.
58:09
That's what all I can think of is that.
58:11
Yeah. So, but, you know, this is what
58:15
confuses me about this whole thing.
58:17
Because he's decided now that he probably actually loves her.
58:19
It hasn't come up at all in this book.
58:21
Emily wants you go bear once you go back down the mountain.
58:27
Download Harry Maybach mountain path.
58:29
You just sniff it back. You never go back.
58:32
And it's so weird. So he's they've been like this
58:34
for hours. And then he goes full caretaker,
58:36
which I appreciate, but also the caretaker like Hagrid, yes.
58:43
He's pulling out the raspberries, the cheese on a
58:45
platter. He barfs her and, like, washes
58:48
her. It's 50 Shades style in the
58:50
bath. That's where that's from.
58:54
Currently, you just can't do anal like that.
58:58
Oh, absolutely not. No, if he's that big, you can't
59:04
tell me you didn't tear. Well, she did.
59:06
She asked her pussy. Like, there's no way she's gotta
59:10
go to the hospital after she stick it.
59:12
But do you know what's funny? Before the entire anal stuff
59:16
happened because they just had sex.
59:18
There was a bit where he was massaging her arse cheeks.
59:21
All I could imagine was just a queef popping out of his face
59:25
because he's just like all in there.
59:27
The air's bubble and it's coming out well, he was just in the
59:29
purse like that so much. Just like.
59:33
He deserves it. He deserves it, being hairy
59:35
Queens eye. Catch some of that pink eye.
59:41
She's gone for hours after that. You can't tell me, you asshole,
59:49
while he's smacking her ass off. Curry did that because it just
59:52
on repeat that she wasn't fighting away all the hair that
59:55
he talked in. I know, I know.
59:58
This is like my idea repel and then they just have some weird,
1:00:03
I know weird pillow talk after where they're just really lovey
1:00:06
dovey after and it makes no fucking sense.
1:00:10
They're sitting there, they watch a movie, they're covered
1:00:12
up, they're eaten when she moves in.
1:00:15
Ohh no. So it's funny because she knows
1:00:19
about shore now. Yes.
1:00:20
So she's been having sex all night only to go home.
1:00:25
And then her best friend and roommate Aaron is dead.
1:00:30
Dead on her mattress on a filthy wet moldy mattress.
1:00:35
And it doesn't matter because we never got any character
1:00:38
development from Erin. Except she's a bit of a.
1:00:40
Oh. Oh, yeah.
1:00:41
She's living her best life. Yeah.
1:00:43
She was like big titty redhead. Hmm.
1:00:45
And that's all we got. And then you're dead.
1:00:48
That's it. That's it.
1:00:49
Yeah. Everyone blind, Mara.
1:00:52
Yeah. Everyone blind.
1:00:54
Yeah. Why would they?
1:00:55
Why would she drown her roommate?
1:00:56
Yeah. And so she's telling the police
1:00:59
it's this short guy, he's the fucking murderer.
1:01:01
And they're like, we're not even going to look into it.
1:01:03
Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.
1:01:04
And then Cole's like, you need to let her leave.
1:01:06
Like she didn't willingly walk in there.
1:01:08
I know. As soon as.
1:01:10
Marital coal that Aaron was dead.
1:01:12
He's like, don't even worry about calling the cops.
1:01:15
We've been here before. She's just another.
1:01:18
She's #8. Yeah, like, who cares?
1:01:21
Imagine someone who's supposed to be your new boyfriend, who's
1:01:26
supposed to care about you. It's like, Nah, don't even tell
1:01:29
the police. Then you're all going to get
1:01:30
into trouble. Yeah, and they're like, now we
1:01:32
need to get rid of. Sure.
1:01:35
Nicole already knew he needed to kill Shaw.
1:01:37
He's just wasting time, yeah. Anally banging for like, hours
1:01:41
on end? Yeah.
1:01:43
I can't believe it all led up to that.
1:01:45
Like, that was the crescendo of the book.
1:01:47
Yeah, just this anal fucking and then a dead front.
1:01:51
And honestly, how is she having multiple, multiple orgasms
1:01:54
through anal? I don't understand how she
1:01:57
didn't just die. Any other normal person.
1:02:02
There was probably about 500 orgasms in there.
1:02:05
Would have just passed out. Yep, I would pass out after
1:02:08
like. Four.
1:02:10
And then that was the cliffhanger that was, which was
1:02:13
disgusting. Don't give us a cliffhanger on
1:02:15
the end. I've read like the first three
1:02:18
chapters, I think of the next book.
1:02:19
Hmm. And it's just weird because they
1:02:22
go full lovey dovey in the start too, and it's just full 365 days
1:02:27
for about 5 minutes. OK, what I don't get is why he
1:02:32
is that obsessed with her. But then I don't know.
1:02:35
Like, I just don't. I reckon he's now like, fall in
1:02:37
love with her. That's it.
1:02:39
To him, I don't know. Like this was not even good sex
1:02:44
scenes, though there is in the first half of the book.
1:02:49
Of the next one is a bit of a spoil about it's only a little
1:02:51
one cause I haven't read that much.
1:02:53
She's like getting off in the shower and he's watching her and
1:02:57
then he like eats her out and then he's like oh, I wanna taste
1:03:00
you. And he's like going to shave her
1:03:03
vagina, but instead he Knicks her leg and sucks the bloody eye
1:03:07
and she's like full into it. And I was like, I don't know if
1:03:10
I. I don't know if I can do
1:03:13
anymore. Oh my God isn't he like a bit of
1:03:16
a cannibal? No no no no.
1:03:19
So he started killing because his uncle was a piece of shit
1:03:24
and started like abusing him and was trying to kill him first.
1:03:28
He's dad died and his uncle was trying to kill him so he killed
1:03:30
his uncle first. I just think it's funny that she
1:03:34
knows her stuff and she's like yeah you know what Paul Steam
1:03:36
ahead on the relationship moving yeah cause he go his excuse is
1:03:40
we'll shaws chasing you now so you have to be under my watch
1:03:44
24/7 ohh yeah in the 1st 5 seconds of this other book he's
1:03:48
like we gotta kill and there's no other option.
1:03:50
She's like ohh we could put him into the police and she's like
1:03:52
he's like no we've gotta we've gotta kill him because he knows
1:03:55
about him. He's killed like 14 people or
1:03:57
something. Just DOB him in dog him both in
1:04:01
and then take his fucking house. Yeah, but would you even trust
1:04:05
Cole? I don't know, because this is
1:04:08
what it fucking I mean about the next book, because the first
1:04:12
chapter is her getting out of bed because he's got senses all
1:04:15
out out of his house. He makes the perfect latte for
1:04:17
her all the time. She gets down the stairs and I'm
1:04:19
like, it just it doesn't it doesn't make sense from the
1:04:23
murder. So there's no there's a bit
1:04:26
where he says to her I know everything about you because he
1:04:29
thinks that he's talked enough information.
1:04:32
I'm sorry, but that doesn't mean you know what's going on in her
1:04:34
head. Full time.
1:04:35
I know that's not how it works. She could have nothing up there.
1:04:38
Someone could stalk me for literally all fucking year and
1:04:41
they wouldn't know shit about me.
1:04:42
Yeah, 100% they wouldn't know anything.
1:04:45
All everything's up here. The only thing they would know
1:04:49
about me is I'm the laziest guy. That I never leave the house.
1:04:53
You never leave the house. I hate social people.
1:04:56
I've die immediately. They would never get any
1:04:59
information. Mostly just hacked my computer.
1:05:01
They wouldn't know my favorite place, favorite food.
1:05:04
I like the type of fix on food for like months and then I never
1:05:08
wanna eat it again. They'd be lost.
1:05:10
Yeah. So funny, he just thinks he
1:05:13
knows everything about her, and I suppose she's also very poor,
1:05:16
so she's not doing much either. And what are we going to write
1:05:20
this book out of? What's our rating system out of
1:05:22
wanks? Out of Crusty dusty come crusty
1:05:27
panty winks. Out of five, I don't actually
1:05:30
know what I want. I don't know, I don't know, a 3
1:05:33
1/2. That's kind of higher than I was
1:05:36
expecting because it wasn't badly written.
1:05:39
Written. I was very intrigued all the way
1:05:41
along. I'm just thankful that it was a
1:05:43
fucking fast book to read, like, you know, many pages.
1:05:46
So yeah, it was kind of like torturous, but not too many
1:05:49
pages. So I've read worse books.
1:05:51
It's just fucking chaotic. And it's like it just catches
1:05:55
you off guard. It's very you.
1:05:57
There was no high stakes. It's just pure escapism.
1:06:00
Bullshit. Yeah, just great.
1:06:02
Yeah. So because I'm a harsh bitch,
1:06:04
I'm going to give it. I'm going to give it like 1.
1:06:09
Originally because there wasn't enough plot for me.
1:06:13
Yeah, get on to what is going on, get a bit more organised
1:06:17
people. Yeah, that's all.
1:06:19
Fair enough. I just need it to have a bit
1:06:20
more back. Feel like because it's a
1:06:22
two-part series, it's probably better read all the way through.
1:06:26
This is probably the establishing yeah, I'm fine
1:06:29
without knowing more. Time without knowing more?
1:06:32
No. But that's why I'm glad you
1:06:33
started reading the second book. I'll read the most trash books,
1:06:37
badly written books if I cause I need to know the answers.
1:06:40
Yeah, and I'll read it in a day. Well, this only would have taken
1:06:44
me a day if I read it properly in one sitting.
1:06:46
I think I started reading this about 8:00 o'clock last night
1:06:49
and I've finished about 11 and then I started the second.
1:06:53
Yeah, but it's kind of like the problem that I have with this is
1:06:57
who am I rooting for? You're really rooting for no
1:07:00
one. That's why I can't be
1:07:02
emotionally invested. Yes.
1:07:03
Fair enough. Fair enough.
1:07:05
That's what they could have improved on.
1:07:06
Give us someone to care about. Yeah, because you're making us
1:07:10
try and care about the roommate that died.
1:07:12
But yeah. What are the stakes here?
1:07:14
Because Cole gets away with everything.
1:07:15
Yeah. So he's not at risk of being.
1:07:17
He nearly got trapped in that warehouse thing where Shaw tried
1:07:22
to set him up there, and he didn't.
1:07:24
He escaped. I feel like in the second book
1:07:26
is where you'll have you know how you usually.
1:07:29
Have a problem. And it's.
1:07:30
Yeah. If in books like this anyway, I
1:07:32
feel like that's where they're gonna have their.
1:07:34
Like one of them is gonna get caught by shore.
1:07:36
Yeah. It's 100% to be the bit that
1:07:38
gave me the biggest egg. When coal was escaping, shores
1:07:42
set up murder. And then there was a bit where
1:07:45
he was thinking run, run, run, run, jump.
1:07:49
Could you imagine him fucking running?
1:07:51
Like him flailing in the wind. No wonder he jumps so well
1:07:54
because he why does it fucking embarrassing.
1:07:57
He could imagine him thinking run, run.
1:07:59
Run, run, jump. Gave me the biggest egg and then
1:08:03
him planting in the alleyways. The whole man gave me a big egg
1:08:07
that he had to do that for two hours.
1:08:09
Yeah, Harris team must be about that.
1:08:11
Ohh. I didn't get why he's got so
1:08:14
much money. But he's not like Batman.
1:08:15
Like why doesn't he have a cool Batmobile or a Butler or he has
1:08:19
a Tesla. I mean, I mean in the first part
1:08:21
of the book he takes her shopping of the next one, I
1:08:24
Tesla, and he spends like $100,000 on clothes.
1:08:27
And she's like, this is too expensive.
1:08:29
And he's like, this is my lunch money.
1:08:32
And it's funny how there's in these sort of books it's always
1:08:35
the guys just eternally rich but never works.
1:08:38
So you must have those investments on lock.
1:08:40
Yeah. And he goes, if we were to date,
1:08:42
I would have to buy you a whole new wardrobe because you're
1:08:45
fucking disgusting. You're foul.
1:08:47
Could you imagine your panties are ripping?
1:08:49
But also, that's me to every guy I've ever dated.
1:08:54
How dare they? But that's exactly what I want.
1:08:56
But to be fair, that's because I'm dating straight men and they
1:08:59
don't have cohesive stuff going on in their room.
1:09:02
Especially in Australia. This is like footy shorts.
1:09:05
You just come in short shorts, you just come into relationship
1:09:09
and you just open up their wardrobe and it's just fucking
1:09:12
footy show. If it's not fucking 40 shorts,
1:09:13
it's some weird ones with the women on them and I hate it.
1:09:17
No, that's like for older guys now.
1:09:19
I don't think that's such a thing now, but I remember when I
1:09:21
was 18 all people would wear is like the naked women on their
1:09:24
pants and like singlet you not matching combo the unit.
1:09:28
Yes, that's exactly what it is. I never see that casting.
1:09:32
Burn it, burn it to the ground. Yeah.
1:09:35
Imagine starting to date someone and then you go to a nice dinner
1:09:38
date and they're wearing the unit pants there and they're
1:09:41
like 30. Shut up.
1:09:42
The oversized T-shirts. The really long one.
1:09:45
Oh my God. With a cap and a mullet and a
1:09:48
mullet and some thongs. No, it's the it's the grandpa
1:09:52
sandals. Now.
1:09:53
They're everywhere. Oh my God, I'm scared.
1:09:56
I say that like I don't wear them.
1:09:57
Busted. You know what?
1:09:58
Cold. Starting to look like a good
1:09:59
option. I mean, list.
1:10:01
He's rich with these. Embellished.
1:10:03
Start. Ah, so yeah, I'm going to give
1:10:05
it a 1.5. That's OK.
1:10:07
I knew it wouldn't be your gym, but I knew it would take you
1:10:10
through. But I'm here for the content.
1:10:12
These kind of trash books are the best to talk about.
1:10:14
It's so funny because remember, I messaged you and I was like,
1:10:16
how unhinged should I go? Yeah.
1:10:18
So this is unhinged for you, but this is totally normal for me.
1:10:21
OK, it's fine. I'm.
1:10:22
I'm. I'm like, working.
1:10:24
You are slowly branching out. We're slower.
1:10:26
Unhinged. Yeah.
1:10:27
Yeah. This working you into it.
1:10:29
OK, so next time, should I pick something a bit Christmassy?
1:10:33
Yes. The season.
1:10:34
There's a lot of Christmas romances that are really good,
1:10:37
so find us something themed. Yeah, that's cool.
1:10:42
So that's it, I'm assuming. Is that everything?
1:10:46
Hmm. OK, everyone, hold on to your
1:10:48
diamond nips. Well, actually don't keep them
1:10:51
in. Release them.
1:10:52
You don't need them anymore. Nothing else for us to go into.
1:10:56
I guess that's it. That's a wrap on that one.
1:10:58
If you want to know more about what actually happens in the
1:11:00
book, maybe read that second book and get back to us.
1:11:03
Yeah, let us know what you think because I'm not investing
1:11:07
anymore time on ohh. I'd probably read it today, but
1:11:10
it's fine. You can tell me what happens.
1:11:13
Thanks for joining us on loose plot with Carla and Emily.
1:11:16
Don't forget to rate US five stars and subscribe.
1:11:19
If you enjoy it, send us an e-mail to get in touch.
1:11:21
Lose the plot podcast@gmail.com.