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SMNTY Interviews: Bari Kroll and Jen Rosant · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stuff
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I Never Told You production of I Hearted You, and
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: today we are so excited to be joined by Private
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Investigators and new podcasters on upcoming show Private Eyes. Barry
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: and Jen, welcome so much. Thanks for joining us.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: Yay, thanks for having us.
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: Yes, I'm excited too. I'm excited too.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: I have to say, the thought of having you on
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: here is mayde consider a lot of like my digital
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: footprint and all of.
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: These things.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: I got weirdly nervous about, like I don't know who
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: would investigate me.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: But anyway, well we know where got you are ready?
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: It's like I have a podcast where I'm like telling
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: my whole life.
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: But that was really a secret.
• 1:02
  Speaker 5: I know, I know, but ex said, we don't know
• 1:06
  Speaker 5: her fanfake author names.
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: You can figure that out for me. That would be wonderful.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 1:11
  Speaker 5: Wait did you say you know a lot about me?
• 1:17
  Speaker 5: Because that's also like, but there's ten fifteen thousand of
• 1:20
  Speaker 5: like samanthemic vains, which I found out later.
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: It was like, why is there so many that I'm
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: a secret?
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: Okay, oh my gosh.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: All right, well can you both introduce yourselves to our audience.
• 1:36
  Speaker 6: Sure, I'm Barry Kroll and I'm General's In.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Yes, and you're both private investigators. Can you tell us
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: how how that came to be? How did that become
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: something you did?
• 1:50
  Speaker 6: Okay, well I'll start with that, And so how did
• 1:53
  Speaker 6: how did I come to be a private investigator. It
• 1:57
  Speaker 6: wasn't really by design. It was not something that I
• 2:00
  Speaker 6: ever thought that I would do, although I kind of
• 2:05
  Speaker 6: I could see. Let's put it this way, when I
• 2:07
  Speaker 6: meet people from high school and they find out that
• 2:10
  Speaker 6: I'm doing this now, they all say they're not.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: Surprised, which I don't know if I should be happy or.
• 2:14
  Speaker 6: Upset about, because I was a little bit I don't
• 2:18
  Speaker 6: want to say stalker ish, but I was very shy
• 2:21
  Speaker 6: in high school, and when my girlfriend and I did
• 2:24
  Speaker 6: not get invited to parties or things like that, we
• 2:28
  Speaker 6: sometimes found ourselves just taking a walk by those places.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: Listening in, finding out what's going.
• 2:34
  Speaker 6: On where we weren't. And so I think I've kind
• 2:37
  Speaker 6: of always had that in my nature, but I certainly
• 2:39
  Speaker 6: didn't think I was going to make a career out
• 2:41
  Speaker 6: of it. So I worked for corporate for a number
• 2:45
  Speaker 6: of years, and when I had my son, I thought
• 2:49
  Speaker 6: for sure I was going to be a stay at
• 2:50
  Speaker 6: home mom. I just thought, it's going to be delightful.
• 2:53
  Speaker 6: I'm going to take naps, I'm not gonna have to
• 2:56
  Speaker 6: get up.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: And do anything.
• 2:57
  Speaker 6: It's going to be so great. And it wasn't like
• 3:00
  Speaker 6: that at all.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: It was not like that. I found myself feeling very disconnected.
• 3:06
  Speaker 6: I didn't have a lot of friends that had children
• 3:08
  Speaker 6: at the time, so I was kind of alone, and
• 3:11
  Speaker 6: I kind of.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: Really felt I was missing work.
• 3:15
  Speaker 6: I missed working, so I was lucky that my old
• 3:20
  Speaker 6: employer was able to It was like before hybrid was
• 3:24
  Speaker 6: popular and even happening.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: They allowed me to do.
• 3:27
  Speaker 6: Like two days at home and like one day was travel,
• 3:30
  Speaker 6: and that was great. It was fine until the unit disbanded,
• 3:34
  Speaker 6: and then I found myself without a job, and I wasn't.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: Really thinking of anything particular.
• 3:41
  Speaker 6: And one day I was driving my son around hoping
• 3:44
  Speaker 6: he'd take a nap, like just driving aimlessly around town,
• 3:46
  Speaker 6: and I happened to notice I had this weird knack
• 3:49
  Speaker 6: for memorizing license plates and knowing car models and things
• 3:52
  Speaker 6: like that. And I saw a friend of mine driving
• 3:56
  Speaker 6: around town and I saw her Zoom buy and I
• 3:58
  Speaker 6: called her, but I said, Stephanie, wy aren't your at work?
• 4:00
  Speaker 6: What are you doing driving around? And she said, might
• 4:02
  Speaker 6: just go to be a private investigator already, That's.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: Exactly what I'm going to do. And like, I literally
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: went home that.
• 4:08
  Speaker 6: Afternoon and I had no expectations about what that even was.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: What did it mean to be a private investigator? So
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: I've made a bunch of phone calls.
• 4:18
  Speaker 6: I was going through the phone book and I called
• 4:21
  Speaker 6: a bunch of guys and some of them hung up
• 4:23
  Speaker 6: on me, and some of them like, you're a girl,
• 4:25
  Speaker 6: you've never been in law enforcement? Click ack click. And
• 4:28
  Speaker 6: I was lucky enough to find a guy who happened
• 4:31
  Speaker 6: to be in the next town over from me, who
• 4:34
  Speaker 6: was basically like, I'm not really hiring anybody right now.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: Can you type? And I said I can.
• 4:40
  Speaker 6: And I was like, oh god, I don't want to
• 4:41
  Speaker 6: be a secretary, but whatever, I just want to see
• 4:43
  Speaker 6: what this is all about. And I said, yeah, I
• 4:46
  Speaker 6: can type, and he said, well that's perfect because I
• 4:48
  Speaker 6: have a dyslexic secretary.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: And I said, well this is going to be fantastic.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: I could tell already. And I went in. I met
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: him and he's like you know, I don't usually hire people.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 4:58
  Speaker 6: He's like, but you're really enthusiastic. There's just something about
• 5:01
  Speaker 6: you that I think that you'd be really good at this.
• 5:04
  Speaker 6: He's like, do you want to go do surveillance this weekend?
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: And I was like, hell yes.
• 5:08
  Speaker 6: One of the guys took me out, and that day
• 5:12
  Speaker 6: in the field was like the best day of my life.
• 5:14
  Speaker 6: And granted it was a job that like nothing happened
• 5:17
  Speaker 6: on the assignment and they were just sitting in the
• 5:19
  Speaker 6: car for hours. Maybe we filled somebody one place, and
• 5:23
  Speaker 6: I was sold. I was in love and I never
• 5:25
  Speaker 6: looked back. And then he ended up retiring. I stayed
• 5:28
  Speaker 6: with him for a long time until I qualified to
• 5:31
  Speaker 6: get my own license, and I ended up he wanted
• 5:34
  Speaker 6: to retire. He went off to Florida, and I took
• 5:37
  Speaker 6: over the business, kind of made it my own. And
• 5:40
  Speaker 6: it was a couple of years into that that Miss
• 5:42
  Speaker 6: Jennifer came on the scene, and that was lucky day.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: She knew me in high school, so she could buy
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: a vouch for the fact. Oh Barry was shy in
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: high school. But I'll tell you she was a couple
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: of grades above me and thanks.
• 5:59
  Speaker 7: For letting everybody only a couple, yeah right right, So yes,
• 6:08
  Speaker 7: we went to the same high school and her and
• 6:10
  Speaker 7: her friends were like the cool girls, you know, and
• 6:14
  Speaker 7: in our high school, when you were a senior, you
• 6:16
  Speaker 7: were allowed to go to lunch.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: And I was.
• 6:20
  Speaker 8: Like, you know, sitting there in the lunchroom, smiling like
• 6:24
  Speaker 8: just thing like, oh, I love those girls are so cool.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: And then they started bringing me out to lunch with them.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: That's kind of how we met, and that, you know,
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: and that's how we met.
• 6:34
  Speaker 8: And I heard all her stories and funny things about her,
• 6:38
  Speaker 8: what her and her friends used to do at the
• 6:40
  Speaker 8: parties and stuff.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: But as as we got older.
• 6:44
  Speaker 8: We you know, we went our separate ways and with work, college,
• 6:48
  Speaker 8: her getting married and having children. But this job actually
• 6:53
  Speaker 8: brought us back together. I was in sales for a
• 6:56
  Speaker 8: really long time. I sold very large contracts and obviously
• 7:01
  Speaker 8: a very prominent male dominant world. Of those guys signing
• 7:07
  Speaker 8: the checks, they were all men. And I spent probably
• 7:11
  Speaker 8: about ten years in the industry. And as I started
• 7:15
  Speaker 8: noticing in the beginning, the guys would love to.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: Hear my stories.
• 7:19
  Speaker 8: I was a big athlete, full scholarship to play softball
• 7:23
  Speaker 8: at Seaton Hall University. You know, they would love that
• 7:26
  Speaker 8: they talked about my sports. But then as the years
• 7:29
  Speaker 8: were getting as I was putting in my years, I
• 7:32
  Speaker 8: would see the young the girls coming in. They were
• 7:36
  Speaker 8: getting younger, they were getting prettier, their skirts were getting shorter.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: And that just was not my vibe. As I went to.
• 7:44
  Speaker 8: Different trade shows and things like that, I was noticing
• 7:49
  Speaker 8: that these girls were doing things or just putting themselves
• 7:54
  Speaker 8: in positions to get those signed contracts. And I was
• 7:58
  Speaker 8: sitting here in those sports stores worries. Weren't really fun
• 8:01
  Speaker 8: for these guys anymore. You know, they wanted more, and.
• 8:04
  Speaker 9: That's not me.
• 8:05
  Speaker 8: So I said, you know, I'm sick and tired of
• 8:08
  Speaker 8: being in sales that abuse and also setting unrealistic goals.
• 8:14
  Speaker 8: It just put a bad sour taste in my mouth.
• 8:17
  Speaker 8: I utilize social media and I just put it out there.
• 8:21
  Speaker 8: I says, does anybody you have a job for me.
• 8:23
  Speaker 8: I'm willing to do anything. I want to try something different.
• 8:27
  Speaker 9: Ring, ring, Ring.
• 8:28
  Speaker 8: I get a call from Barry and then here we
• 8:32
  Speaker 8: are nine years later, and this says, it's a dream
• 8:36
  Speaker 8: come true that I never dreamt.
• 8:38
  Speaker 9: I love it.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 8:40
  Speaker 8: I always I couldn't picture myself doing anything else.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: It's it's just I pictured for doing it.
• 8:47
  Speaker 6: I know I have very good I literally I'm like,
• 8:50
  Speaker 6: I could so see Jen doing this, and I think
• 8:53
  Speaker 6: she's going to be great. Yeah, and she's amazing. Well,
• 8:56
  Speaker 6: she taught me everything.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 8:59
  Speaker 9: I love this teach few things too.
• 9:01
  Speaker 5: I love that, Like because with that, seeing that she
• 9:05
  Speaker 5: needed a job that you're like, Okay, these are.
• 9:07
  Speaker 4: The skills that I saw. What what are these skills that.
• 9:10
  Speaker 5: You're like, yes, this is that she's going to make
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: an amazing PI.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: Well. Number one, she said she would do anything.
• 9:17
  Speaker 5: To do.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: You literally have to do anything.
• 9:21
  Speaker 6: And everything in this field. You know, I knew her personality.
• 9:24
  Speaker 6: I knew that she was a lot of fun. I mean,
• 9:27
  Speaker 6: we're hard working, hard, laughing over here. I mean that's
• 9:30
  Speaker 6: that's basically how we run the show. We're not we're
• 9:32
  Speaker 6: not corporate at all. We're pretty easy going that way.
• 9:35
  Speaker 6: But there are certain things about this type of career,
• 9:39
  Speaker 6: this field that aren't really negotiable that you have to
• 9:42
  Speaker 6: be able to do, and one of that is being
• 9:44
  Speaker 6: able to do anything. And I knew she could do anything.
• 9:47
  Speaker 6: And I knew that her look was fantastic. She is
• 9:52
  Speaker 6: able to really take on any persona pretty much, and
• 9:58
  Speaker 6: that's another quality that you have to have. The other
• 10:01
  Speaker 6: things that are really important, like having some kind of
• 10:03
  Speaker 6: instinct and being able to to do detective work so
• 10:08
  Speaker 6: to speak.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: That wasn't sure, but she was amazing.
• 10:12
  Speaker 6: We hone those skills and she's great, you know, attention
• 10:15
  Speaker 6: to detail, all of those things that they make a
• 10:18
  Speaker 6: good private investigator. And number one of those skills probably
• 10:23
  Speaker 6: most important is tenacity. And she was a big sports
• 10:26
  Speaker 6: star in high school. I knew that about her. She
• 10:28
  Speaker 6: was a hard worker, So I mean, how could she
• 10:31
  Speaker 6: be great?
• 10:32
  Speaker 9: Thank you?
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: I told you. I love her. She's so sweet.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: Oh I love this because I hadn't really thought about
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: it before. But a lot of people I look back
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: in high school, they'd be online, you know, on Facebook
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: and stuck.
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: So okay, the skills they do start, yeah at that age.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: Well, that big said, can you break down what exactly
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: your job generally entails, because I feel like there are
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: a lot of misconceptions that the media has fetas about this, oh.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: One hundred misconceptions just you know.
• 11:16
  Speaker 6: Jen kind of touched on this talking about her her
• 11:19
  Speaker 6: previous career in sales and it being a very male
• 11:22
  Speaker 6: dominated industry. It's the same is true for the private
• 11:26
  Speaker 6: detective field. It is and I hate to say it,
• 11:29
  Speaker 6: and I don't really mean this in a bad way.
• 11:31
  Speaker 6: It just turned out that way. It's really was meant
• 11:35
  Speaker 6: to be a good old boys club, so to speak.
• 11:36
  Speaker 6: You know, I think that the biggest misconception uh that
• 11:40
  Speaker 6: people have, Well, actually there's like two. There's a fantasy
• 11:44
  Speaker 6: one where you are magnum p I or a Colombo.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: Or you're a guy and you drive a hot.
• 11:50
  Speaker 6: Car, or you're wearing a trench coat and you have
• 11:52
  Speaker 6: a cigar and you're peering through the bushes, or you're
• 11:55
  Speaker 6: you're you know, you're, you're whatever. And I think that
• 11:59
  Speaker 6: that's the first miss conception.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: It's got to be a guy, and it's got to
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: fit one of those one of those scenes. You have
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: to have that look.
• 12:07
  Speaker 6: Or you're from prior law enforcement, you've had law enforcement experience,
• 12:11
  Speaker 6: you are a cop, you're a detective, you're on the beat,
• 12:13
  Speaker 6: whatever you want to call it.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: That that's what makes a great gum shoe, and it's
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: really not.
• 12:19
  Speaker 6: It's somebody that is able to be resourceful tenacious.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: That's what makes a great private detective.
• 12:25
  Speaker 6: And a lot of people are really shocked when I
• 12:29
  Speaker 6: tell them I'm a private investigator. They're like, what, Oh
• 12:32
  Speaker 6: my god, No, you're not. You don't look like one.
• 12:34
  Speaker 6: The first thing we say, you don't look like one.
• 12:35
  Speaker 6: I say, well, that's what makes me good.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: I don't look like that, all right.
• 12:39
  Speaker 6: So I think there is definitely While it is a
• 12:43
  Speaker 6: very male dominated field, there's women in the field that
• 12:48
  Speaker 6: are fantastic, and I wish there were more of them
• 12:50
  Speaker 6: because I've been doing this twenty years and it still
• 12:53
  Speaker 6: seems like we are so lagging in this industry in
• 12:58
  Speaker 6: terms of great women that do this.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: Work, and I'd love to see more.
• 13:03
  Speaker 8: Yeah, I mean, that's one of the biggest reasons why
• 13:05
  Speaker 8: we're starting this podcast is to get more people to understand.
• 13:10
  Speaker 8: And there's a lot of young females now that are
• 13:14
  Speaker 8: going to school and they want to get into criminology,
• 13:17
  Speaker 8: but they don't want to be a police officer, and
• 13:20
  Speaker 8: this is a great avenue for them. There's so many
• 13:23
  Speaker 8: different branches that they could take from here, right, they
• 13:26
  Speaker 8: can start their own business like Mary, And you know,
• 13:30
  Speaker 8: I just.
• 13:30
  Speaker 6: Feel like there's just not enough exposure into the real
• 13:34
  Speaker 6: lives of private investigators.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: So what is the job all about?
• 13:38
  Speaker 5: Right? And I find that interesting. So within this industry,
• 13:42
  Speaker 5: I know you've been in part of it for a while,
• 13:43
  Speaker 5: have you seen change? Have you seen the growth that
• 13:46
  Speaker 5: you think there needs to be to include more women?
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: Definitely?
• 13:51
  Speaker 6: I mean I definitely think so with with especially with
• 13:53
  Speaker 6: social media, and I think that you know, I see
• 13:57
  Speaker 6: on LinkedIn there's a lot more women, but just in
• 14:02
  Speaker 6: comparison to the amount of men that do it, there
• 14:05
  Speaker 6: just isn't And I think people have this misconception that
• 14:09
  Speaker 6: you have to be you know, go to school for criminology,
• 14:13
  Speaker 6: you have to be in law enforcement, you have to
• 14:16
  Speaker 6: you know.
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: Whatever the case may be. And that's not true.
• 14:20
  Speaker 6: And we kind of want to spread that word that
• 14:22
  Speaker 6: you could just be a girl who studied psychology and
• 14:25
  Speaker 6: you're really interested in human behavior and you can have
• 14:29
  Speaker 6: a whole business that kind of encompasses all of the
• 14:31
  Speaker 6: things that you're interested in.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: And people don't know that human behavior is what we
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: see every day.
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: Yes, So I'm just curious.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: Let's say I came to you, I had an issue,
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: I wanted to hire you. How does that look? How
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: does that break down? What does your job look like?
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: In a really general way.
• 14:54
  Speaker 6: Okay, so in a general way, somebody comes to me
• 14:58
  Speaker 6: with a problem. Let's just say for sake of this discussion.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: It's a cheating partner.
• 15:04
  Speaker 6: They would reach out to me, either you know, call
• 15:07
  Speaker 6: the office, or they might meet me on the street
• 15:09
  Speaker 6: or any kind of random place where find out that
• 15:12
  Speaker 6: I'm a private investigator and they want to talk.
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: They would just reach out.
• 15:16
  Speaker 6: And the first thing I'd want to do is just
• 15:18
  Speaker 6: discuss number one, why they think that their partner's cheating
• 15:22
  Speaker 6: on them. We go over the behaviors, We analyze their
• 15:26
  Speaker 6: routine and the things that they're doing, because I want
• 15:29
  Speaker 6: people to feel confident in themselves and their feelings and
• 15:34
  Speaker 6: their intuition. Because a lot of the times, especially when
• 15:37
  Speaker 6: someone is facing, you know, a cheating partner and they
• 15:41
  Speaker 6: start feeling uneasy about the relationship, everyone says, oh, you're crazy,
• 15:44
  Speaker 6: he's so nice, or you're crazy she's so in love with.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: You that that's just crazy. Why are you thinking that?
• 15:50
  Speaker 6: And anytime somebody's telling you to doubt your feelings and
• 15:53
  Speaker 6: that you're crazy, it's a terrible thing. So I don't
• 15:57
  Speaker 6: want people to feel that way, so we'll have a
• 15:59
  Speaker 6: discussion about why they think these things are happening. And
• 16:03
  Speaker 6: on the rare occasions where somebody might be feeling paranoid
• 16:06
  Speaker 6: or they're they're you know, feeling like something is going
• 16:11
  Speaker 6: on and you know, they're they're unsure of their feelings.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: You know, that could be the case that there really
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: is nothing going on.
• 16:19
  Speaker 6: They're just you know, losing confidence in the relationship for
• 16:21
  Speaker 6: whatever reason, maybe.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: Something that happened in their past.
• 16:24
  Speaker 6: An investigation will will bring truth to that as well.
• 16:28
  Speaker 6: So what we would do is we would discuss those things,
• 16:30
  Speaker 6: the patterns, behaviors, then implement a plan for some type
• 16:35
  Speaker 6: of investigation strategy. And in most cases, for a cheating partner,
• 16:39
  Speaker 6: it's usually surveillance where we will watch them for a
• 16:43
  Speaker 6: number of hours or a number of days, whatever it
• 16:45
  Speaker 6: takes for my client to feel comfortable and secure that.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: That person is or is not cheating.
• 16:52
  Speaker 6: And typically, and this is why I tell all clients
• 16:54
  Speaker 6: because it's been you know, historically, how our investigations have
• 16:58
  Speaker 6: kind of panned out that it's some one barring the
• 17:01
  Speaker 6: fact that.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: Maybe it's a long distance relationship.
• 17:03
  Speaker 6: If someone is having an affair and their partner is
• 17:06
  Speaker 6: living in the in the area where they live, they
• 17:09
  Speaker 6: will usually see that person within three days, within three
• 17:12
  Speaker 6: days of doing surveillance, that will happen.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: And I got to tell you, and I think you
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: can agree with this.
• 17:17
  Speaker 6: When somebody does suspect their partner of cheating and everything
• 17:20
  Speaker 6: is lining up and I think they're cheating, and Jen
• 17:22
  Speaker 6: thinks they're cheating, we see that like on the first
• 17:25
  Speaker 6: day it happens, it happens, so, you know, so I think.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: That's typically how it will go down, right.
• 17:32
  Speaker 8: And on the opposite end of that, sometimes we're like,
• 17:37
  Speaker 8: they're not cheating, and we see that right away too.
• 17:41
  Speaker 8: Not right away, but after a few days we're and
• 17:44
  Speaker 8: it's starting.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: To look a little efficient.
• 17:46
  Speaker 6: E's singly enough. It's not that that usually happens, and
• 17:49
  Speaker 6: not because our client is, you know, feeling paranoid, but
• 17:55
  Speaker 6: it's because our client is doing something that they shouldn't
• 17:58
  Speaker 6: and they're kind of pretty rejecting, if you can believe it,
• 18:01
  Speaker 6: on their partner. They maybe want out of that relationship
• 18:04
  Speaker 6: and they're like, oh God, maybe maybe an investigator will
• 18:07
  Speaker 6: help me out of this relationship and show me that
• 18:09
  Speaker 6: they're Cheating's that does happen.
• 18:13
  Speaker 4: Unfortunately, that makes sense.
• 18:15
  Speaker 5: Well, how many of these cases, because I'm sure you
• 18:17
  Speaker 5: have many are typically things like affairs or what types
• 18:21
  Speaker 5: of cases do you generally have?
• 18:23
  Speaker 6: So the majority of our cases we do a lot
• 18:27
  Speaker 6: of surveillance and undercover work.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: We're very heavy.
• 18:30
  Speaker 6: In that that part of the the the industry, but
• 18:34
  Speaker 6: a lot of that has to do with personal injury cases.
• 18:38
  Speaker 6: We do a lot of surveillance on people that were injured,
• 18:42
  Speaker 6: either by a doctor or slip and fall on a
• 18:44
  Speaker 6: supermarket or slipping on a menu, whatever the case may be.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: And you know, they're they're.
• 18:50
  Speaker 6: Suing somebody some stuff like that, right, and they're and
• 18:53
  Speaker 6: they're claiming some sort of some sort of injury, and
• 18:57
  Speaker 6: that needs to be fleshed out. They want to see
• 18:59
  Speaker 6: are they really as injured as they say they are.
• 19:02
  Speaker 6: And what's unique about this job, we're not looking to
• 19:06
  Speaker 6: get the money shot or catch the guy.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: I mean, I love.
• 19:09
  Speaker 6: This job just being able to see both sides, and
• 19:13
  Speaker 6: both sides are helpful to everybody because we have people
• 19:17
  Speaker 6: on the defense who want to know how badly this
• 19:20
  Speaker 6: person was injured, and you know, we're thinking they're probably
• 19:25
  Speaker 6: going to be happy to hear that they're running marathons,
• 19:28
  Speaker 6: but they're also just as happy to hear they're really
• 19:30
  Speaker 6: as injured as they say.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: They are, and it alleviates a lot of questions for them.
• 19:33
  Speaker 6: It helps them to develop a settlement strategy, you know,
• 19:36
  Speaker 6: a trial strategy, So all sides are important, So it's
• 19:41
  Speaker 6: a critical component to those things. So we do that
• 19:43
  Speaker 6: type of surveillance work, surveillance of cheating spouses. We do
• 19:47
  Speaker 6: a lot of post matrimonial work, which also involves a
• 19:50
  Speaker 6: lot of background and records research and surveillance when people
• 19:56
  Speaker 6: are collecting alimony, but they're really not entitled to that
• 19:59
  Speaker 6: anymore because they they are in a new relationship that
• 20:03
  Speaker 6: is tantamount to marriage, and in that case, the payer
• 20:07
  Speaker 6: is not obligated to pay alimony anymore. Child custody investigations
• 20:13
  Speaker 6: like high level background investigations, social media research, all of
• 20:17
  Speaker 6: those fun things.
• 20:28
  Speaker 5: Okay, so I saw that you actually did some for
• 20:32
  Speaker 5: TV as well about finding your father. Was I didn't
• 20:35
  Speaker 5: realize I was, I was researching. I was like, wait,
• 20:37
  Speaker 5: what is this interesting?
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: Yes?
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: I did find that I found that it was found
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: that interesting. What was your experience with that specifically?
• 20:50
  Speaker 6: I loved it yeah, it was great. I mean, to
• 20:53
  Speaker 6: to bring people together. One father was homeless, found him
• 20:58
  Speaker 6: in a homeless shelter, so that I mean, it's it's
• 21:00
  Speaker 6: just very gratifying.
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: And that's that's other work that we do. We get
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: calls like that all the time. You want to find
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: their birth mother, they want to find their sister.
• 21:10
  Speaker 9: What about the one that wanted us to find their ashes?
• 21:13
  Speaker 6: Oh yeah, we actually, I swear we actually, Yeah, somebody
• 21:18
  Speaker 6: somebody had a relative's ashes and they wanted us to
• 21:22
  Speaker 6: try to find them to get the ashes from. Did
• 21:26
  Speaker 6: you no, we listen, we found cats all right.
• 21:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 21:37
  Speaker 6: When i'm when i'm if, I'm not like super busy
• 21:40
  Speaker 6: and I really want to be creative and and want
• 21:42
  Speaker 6: something good to talk about and be like we'll take
• 21:44
  Speaker 6: that cat job, sure, why not?
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: This this is okay, let's do this.
• 21:49
  Speaker 9: Tives too on the side.
• 21:52
  Speaker 4: I love that you're all encompassing.
• 21:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah, well, it kind of reminds me of like my
• 21:56
  Speaker 5: previous job was in social work and one of the
• 21:58
  Speaker 5: things that you have to be like a jack of
• 22:01
  Speaker 5: all trades because if you have to be able to
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: go through this and it sounds like a part of
• 22:05
  Speaker 5: your job could also be like counseling. How often do
• 22:08
  Speaker 5: you feel like you have to be a cornerstone for
• 22:10
  Speaker 5: people during these really all theous difficult conversations.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: So let's put it this way.
• 22:15
  Speaker 6: Before I had an office administrator, I would be on
• 22:20
  Speaker 6: the phone with people before I knew any better, when
• 22:22
  Speaker 6: I was like starting this business, and I would answer
• 22:25
  Speaker 6: my phone and right off the bat, somebody's telling me,
• 22:29
  Speaker 6: you know, their entire life story and what should they do.
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: And of course I was like, I'm all into it.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: I'm like, well, this is what you should do. How
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: are you feeling it?
• 22:37
  Speaker 6: A lot of it is counseling, and it's to a
• 22:41
  Speaker 6: great extent, And while I'm not a therapist, I can
• 22:45
  Speaker 6: I can draw from my professional experience of my other
• 22:49
  Speaker 6: clients things that they did to.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: Improve their life and move on or not move on.
• 22:54
  Speaker 6: I mean, that's a big part of the conversation when
• 22:57
  Speaker 6: I have a client who again, let's go back to
• 23:00
  Speaker 6: to a cheating spouse, for example, depending on the outcome
• 23:03
  Speaker 6: of our investigation, the trajectory of their whole life may
• 23:07
  Speaker 6: have to change. Everything that they knew could be different
• 23:11
  Speaker 6: or not. And that's okay. Just because somebody is cheating
• 23:15
  Speaker 6: doesn't mean you got to pack your bags and go.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: Every situation is different.
• 23:18
  Speaker 6: There's a lot of context, and it takes too to
• 23:21
  Speaker 6: make it and to to break it. And I really
• 23:23
  Speaker 6: encourage people to dig deep and think about those things
• 23:27
  Speaker 6: and before they engage a private investiator to have a plan.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: And a plan doesn't mean a plan to act.
• 23:34
  Speaker 6: It could be a plan not to necessarily react right away,
• 23:38
  Speaker 6: but to know what's going on.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: That is the key.
• 23:42
  Speaker 6: Just to have some control that you weren't crazy, you
• 23:46
  Speaker 6: weren't seeing things, you weren't imagining it.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: This is what's really happening.
• 23:50
  Speaker 6: Barry got me this great surveillance video that just confirms
• 23:56
  Speaker 6: my feelings.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: I'm going to put it in my back pocket it
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: and I'm ahead of the game. I don't have to
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: do anything now.
• 24:03
  Speaker 6: They find some solace in that that knowing they weren't crazy,
• 24:06
  Speaker 6: they're in control and they can do whatever they need
• 24:10
  Speaker 6: to do at any point in time.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: You know, I don't don't encourage.
• 24:13
  Speaker 6: People necessarily take action, but I encourage them to think,
• 24:18
  Speaker 6: to think about a plan, to think about possible actions
• 24:21
  Speaker 6: based on just my my professional experience.
• 24:26
  Speaker 8: And you do the same with the people that, yeah,
• 24:28
  Speaker 8: absolutely and you know, one of the things is just
• 24:32
  Speaker 8: listening to Barry speak to the people that call in.
• 24:36
  Speaker 8: You know, she just provides them such good advice, you know,
• 24:39
  Speaker 8: and she'll be honest with them too, like very honest
• 24:43
  Speaker 8: and I am not a good liar, Yeah, I'm.
• 24:45
  Speaker 9: That's the number one thing in this job is that.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: That's why I had no friends and I on our friend.
• 24:52
  Speaker 9: We have to you know, we're honest.
• 24:54
  Speaker 8: Obviously the people are subjects aren't sometimes, but you know,
• 24:59
  Speaker 8: Barry will say, listen, you know this this isn't for you,
• 25:03
  Speaker 8: or this is for you, and you know, if you're
• 25:06
  Speaker 8: thinking these things, then something must be going on or
• 25:10
  Speaker 8: A hard part of this job.
• 25:12
  Speaker 6: Is being sensitive to people's people's feelings, you know, because
• 25:17
  Speaker 6: you might hear a story and that is freaking crazy.
• 25:20
  Speaker 6: This lady's out of her mind. And sometimes we get
• 25:22
  Speaker 6: people that call that that are are out there. They
• 25:27
  Speaker 6: have questions about people. You know, they think a dentists
• 25:31
  Speaker 6: implanted something in their their tooths so that they're being
• 25:34
  Speaker 6: tracked remotely there. I mean, we've had a lot of
• 25:37
  Speaker 6: calls like that, things about aliens. You want to be
• 25:39
  Speaker 6: sensitive to people, but at the same time, yeah, you know,
• 25:42
  Speaker 6: you have to have that tack to try to.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: Send them a different avenue. So it's not something that's
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: kind of like the impossible for us to help you with.
• 25:52
  Speaker 6: But here's somebody that, you know, here's a bugsweep guy
• 25:55
  Speaker 6: that you can call and that might help you.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: You know, you think that.
• 25:58
  Speaker 9: They all think that they're being listened.
• 26:01
  Speaker 5: So you know, I've seen a lot of TikTok creators,
• 26:04
  Speaker 5: especially one specific one that's an investigator, and I see
• 26:07
  Speaker 5: her doing the cameras and watching and she has a
• 26:10
  Speaker 5: lot of times been like there's nothing here, but you know,
• 26:12
  Speaker 5: really really fascinating. But with that, with the fact that
• 26:15
  Speaker 5: there's so many crossovers, how did you what made you
• 26:20
  Speaker 5: think podcasts? Yes, we need to take what we do,
• 26:23
  Speaker 5: our stories and put it on a podcast because you
• 26:25
  Speaker 5: are I think one of the first ones that I've
• 26:27
  Speaker 5: actually heard of doing this specific topic, which I love.
• 26:31
  Speaker 5: But with this specific like women in the industry, what
• 26:34
  Speaker 5: does this look like, let's have a conversation about why
• 26:37
  Speaker 5: it's important that private investigators exist and why you might
• 26:40
  Speaker 5: need one as well as how do you get involved?
• 26:43
  Speaker 5: So what made you say, yes, this is the platform
• 26:45
  Speaker 5: for us.
• 26:45
  Speaker 6: So my thought process behind this was and you brought
• 26:50
  Speaker 6: up the Oxygen show Finding my Father. And ever since
• 26:54
  Speaker 6: I started this business, for the last i'd say fifteen years,
• 27:00
  Speaker 6: contacted left and right from producers, different production companies, different
• 27:04
  Speaker 6: networks wanting to do a TV show about women private investigators.
• 27:09
  Speaker 6: And this show all these years later, whether it featured
• 27:14
  Speaker 6: me or somebody else, does not exist.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: It just doesn't exist.
• 27:18
  Speaker 6: And the reason why is, you know, networks want to
• 27:22
  Speaker 6: show the real deal. They want to see surveillance, real surveillance.
• 27:28
  Speaker 6: There's there's no way to gauge or manage how long
• 27:32
  Speaker 6: it will take to get to an outcome. It could
• 27:35
  Speaker 6: take hours, it could take days, it could take weeks,
• 27:37
  Speaker 6: even any kind of years.
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: That you're doing. Yes, we came here, We've gone for years,
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: exactly right. So so that.
• 27:44
  Speaker 6: Always that always bothered me, that it just never got
• 27:48
  Speaker 6: the exposure.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: And I wanted the exposure to be real.
• 27:51
  Speaker 6: A lot of times, a lot of networks wanted me
• 27:52
  Speaker 6: to be crazy, and they wanted me to expose all
• 27:55
  Speaker 6: of my you know, my.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: Clients and my stories. I could never do that.
• 27:58
  Speaker 6: I'm a real deal private investigator. So I thought, like,
• 28:01
  Speaker 6: what we need an angle to expose people to this
• 28:06
  Speaker 6: industry where we get to tell our stories, and some
• 28:09
  Speaker 6: of them are crazy.
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: A lot of them are crazy.
• 28:11
  Speaker 6: We see a lot of crazy things that have nothing
• 28:14
  Speaker 6: to do with our job. But while you're sitting on
• 28:16
  Speaker 6: surveillance or doing whatever you're doing, you see it all
• 28:21
  Speaker 6: from from like drug deals to like just I don't know,
• 28:25
  Speaker 6: people making out, fighting everything, throw the bottles at people
• 28:30
  Speaker 6: in the middle of like early in the morning, fight,
• 28:32
  Speaker 6: people picking their buttons, picking their no I mean, all
• 28:36
  Speaker 6: kinds of terrible things, like anything that when you think
• 28:40
  Speaker 6: someone's not watching, should I do this, don't do it?
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: Somebody's probably watching you. But anyway, we see it all.
• 28:45
  Speaker 6: But so I thought, like this, there's a platform that
• 28:48
  Speaker 6: I felt like we could be creative and have that
• 28:51
  Speaker 6: creative outlet and really tell people about what we do
• 28:55
  Speaker 6: and also how does that affect our lives?
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: How does the.
• 29:00
  Speaker 6: Outcome and investigation affect our client's lives. So it's not
• 29:02
  Speaker 6: just about the crazy stories that people want to see.
• 29:04
  Speaker 6: I mean, there'll be plenty of that, but it's also
• 29:07
  Speaker 6: the tips. It's also you know, what happened to you know,
• 29:12
  Speaker 6: to Pam whose husband you know, was living a double life.
• 29:16
  Speaker 6: We actually talk about what happened to Pam after and
• 29:18
  Speaker 6: how she was able to move on and how she
• 29:20
  Speaker 6: found success after being you know, a stayed home mom
• 29:24
  Speaker 6: without a career, and where is she now after all
• 29:26
  Speaker 6: the terrible things that have happened to her?
• 29:29
  Speaker 9: How did she change her life.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: For the better.
• 29:32
  Speaker 6: So it's it's an interesting look seeing all sides, all
• 29:36
  Speaker 6: sides of the story because there's always you know, the truth,
• 29:40
  Speaker 6: three sides, yours and mine, what's really happening. So we
• 29:44
  Speaker 6: kind of that's kind of the focus of our lens,
• 29:48
  Speaker 6: so to speak, of what we talk about.
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: I love that.
• 29:52
  Speaker 5: So when is the podcast coming out? What is all
• 29:55
  Speaker 5: of the details that we need to know so we
• 29:57
  Speaker 5: can get ahead of it, subscribe to it, all those things.
• 29:59
  Speaker 8: Yes, we actually were launching on August seventh, and we
• 30:05
  Speaker 8: are will be on Apple and Spotify, and you can
• 30:08
  Speaker 8: also see a video component of our show on our
• 30:12
  Speaker 8: YouTube channel.
• 30:13
  Speaker 5: Oh okay, that's so everybody get that on your schedule
• 30:15
  Speaker 5: because we're not done talking. I just wanted to make
• 30:17
  Speaker 5: sure we put that in there, and then we're gonna
• 30:19
  Speaker 5: put it at the end this again, but you know,
• 30:21
  Speaker 5: just go ahead and get that in our minds because
• 30:23
  Speaker 5: we need to remember August.
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: Seventh, it got it, got it.
• 30:26
  Speaker 5: So, you know, I find it fascinating because Pi's is
• 30:29
  Speaker 5: so interesting because it's not just you know, yes, you've
• 30:32
  Speaker 5: got the kind of like the tea bits that you're like, oh,
• 30:35
  Speaker 5: I want to know about this, but you also kind
• 30:36
  Speaker 5: of go down like almost a true crime route as well.
• 30:40
  Speaker 4: Do you see an overlap in that for your show?
• 30:43
  Speaker 6: I think, I mean the investigation component, what it is
• 30:47
  Speaker 6: going through, just the strategy, going through the steps like
• 30:50
  Speaker 6: coming up. I mean, you always have to although you
• 30:52
  Speaker 6: know we're we are not biased in the sense of
• 30:56
  Speaker 6: we know somebody did this or we know somebody did that,
• 30:58
  Speaker 6: we have to have some kind of the or your
• 31:00
  Speaker 6: hypothesis to take us down certain roads to flush them out.
• 31:04
  Speaker 6: Is this the right Are we going down the right path?
• 31:06
  Speaker 6: Or we should we be going down this path instead?
• 31:09
  Speaker 6: And I think, you know, the strategy of how we
• 31:12
  Speaker 6: do that is really interesting. I mean just even steps
• 31:15
  Speaker 6: to find a Facebook account of somebody that's using an alias,
• 31:18
  Speaker 6: how we use our databases, how we flush out relatives,
• 31:23
  Speaker 6: how we you know, different.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: Tips and tricks like using unique names.
• 31:27
  Speaker 6: Like there's a lot of Samantham mcvays out there, But
• 31:30
  Speaker 6: we're going to find that one relative of yours who
• 31:32
  Speaker 6: has this really really uncommon name that nobody else could have,
• 31:36
  Speaker 6: and we're gonna find them really quick on Facebook, and
• 31:38
  Speaker 6: then we're going to start all of their friends and
• 31:40
  Speaker 6: we're gonna.
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: Go down here.
• 31:41
  Speaker 8: Yeah, and then all of a sudden, boom, we find
• 31:43
  Speaker 8: a right and it all comes together.
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 31:48
  Speaker 6: So it's it's you know, there's a lot of programs
• 31:51
  Speaker 6: out there that say, like, oh, we could find there's nothing.
• 31:54
  Speaker 6: There's no AI that can do what I do. There
• 31:56
  Speaker 6: just isn't And they say, I'm.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: Sure it's not just me.
• 31:59
  Speaker 6: I'm sure there are plenty of people out there that
• 32:01
  Speaker 6: are good at doing that research. That makes a great
• 32:03
  Speaker 6: investigator because it could take hours, if not days to
• 32:07
  Speaker 6: do it sometimes, and it's that tenacity that that gets
• 32:10
  Speaker 6: the answer. There's no AI that's going to figure out
• 32:13
  Speaker 6: you know, Jen is actually using the Facebook page name
• 32:16
  Speaker 6: I Love Cats or whatever, and you know connect it
• 32:19
  Speaker 6: to her. You got to go through all of those
• 32:20
  Speaker 6: channels and and find the connection. So, I mean, that's
• 32:24
  Speaker 6: obviously a very simple investigation.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: It's it's it's not.
• 32:28
  Speaker 6: True crime or anything, but the methodology is the same
• 32:31
  Speaker 6: it's it's and that's what people find interesting.
• 32:35
  Speaker 8: And sometimes we don't find a picture. Sometimes we don't
• 32:40
  Speaker 8: find all the full information, just a little piece. Sometimes
• 32:44
  Speaker 8: it just doesn't Again, we just we have to go
• 32:47
  Speaker 8: out on the field. And it's not so much doing
• 32:49
  Speaker 8: investigation through our computer, but it's actually doing investigations out
• 32:54
  Speaker 8: on the road, not knowing where the person looks, like,
• 32:57
  Speaker 8: where they live, like, kind of just trying to put
• 33:00
  Speaker 8: things together.
• 33:01
  Speaker 9: You know that it's a lot of work.
• 33:02
  Speaker 6: That's a great point because a lot of people think like, well,
• 33:04
  Speaker 6: I can find out anything on the internet, and there's
• 33:06
  Speaker 6: some things you just can't.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: You just can't, and you have.
• 33:08
  Speaker 6: To go out and you have to to actually, you know,
• 33:11
  Speaker 6: get in the field and pound the pavement and knock
• 33:14
  Speaker 6: on doors and do interviews and you know, do surveillance
• 33:18
  Speaker 6: on people, places and things.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: And that's how you get your answers.
• 33:22
  Speaker 9: You got to get through the gatekeepers. I always said,
• 33:24
  Speaker 9: it's one of my favorite words is to think fast.
• 33:29
  Speaker 8: You know, it's coming up with a quick story to
• 33:34
  Speaker 8: get them to answer your question. So if I knock
• 33:38
  Speaker 8: on a window of an apartment building, but it's security
• 33:43
  Speaker 8: and I said, oh, I need to see so and so,
• 33:46
  Speaker 8: and my grandma made some cookies for her.
• 33:48
  Speaker 9: She can't come down. Oh, she's not allowed down. I'm like, please, please,
• 33:53
  Speaker 9: can I go up there? I have cookies for her,
• 33:55
  Speaker 9: you know.
• 33:56
  Speaker 8: And you just have to like learn to be quick
• 33:59
  Speaker 8: and fast and be creative and whatever. Sometimes that cookie
• 34:03
  Speaker 8: thing could take you wherever.
• 34:06
  Speaker 4: But on a non existing GM, I just read that
• 34:08
  Speaker 4: one on the fly.
• 34:09
  Speaker 8: I never did my grandma's cookies, but I use my
• 34:12
  Speaker 8: grandma for a lot of stilling those cookies, so it's interesting.
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: Yes, oh, yes, One thing I wanted to go back to.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: We've been talking about how this has traditionally been, both
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: in media and in history, a male dominated industry, but
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: this is changing. One thing I was thinking about when
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: I was imagining, like if I wanted to go to
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: a PI, I would want to go to a woman,
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: Like I feel like there would be situations, especially if
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: I'm going to cry my heart out about I don't
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: know this guy I think is bad news. Like, I
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: just feel like there's certain situations where going to a
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: woman I would like to have that option. Do you
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: feel that you've seeing that do you feel that there's
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: maybe a different skill set? I know you said that,
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: you know, people don't think private invest hares are women,
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: so therefore you kind of have that going for you.
• 35:14
  Speaker 6: Interestingly enough, I mostly hear that from men that want
• 35:18
  Speaker 6: a female investigator because they they have conjured up in
• 35:22
  Speaker 6: their mind it's gonna be like a cop.
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: It's gonna be real detective looking, and I.
• 35:25
  Speaker 6: Don't want to get caught, and I want it to
• 35:26
  Speaker 6: be not threatening in any way.
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: I think it's pretty even.
• 35:31
  Speaker 6: In terms of women that have expressed I feel comfortable
• 35:34
  Speaker 6: talking to a woman, but men are really great with it,
• 35:38
  Speaker 6: and I think they kind of think that I'm going
• 35:40
  Speaker 6: to help them in some way, or they're feeling less
• 35:44
  Speaker 6: threatened by me in a sense that I'm not judging
• 35:48
  Speaker 6: them like another guy would like, Oh, you're letting your
• 35:50
  Speaker 6: wife cheat on you, buddy, Like that's pretty messing up.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: You're real, you know what you know?
• 35:54
  Speaker 4: Like you know.
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: I think that.
• 35:58
  Speaker 6: At the other flip side is I've had clients who
• 36:01
  Speaker 6: are like.
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: I really need to work with you. You're a woman.
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: I think you're going to be great.
• 36:07
  Speaker 6: There is a component there are certain men that think
• 36:09
  Speaker 6: they're going to control me and manipulate me in some
• 36:12
  Speaker 6: way to do certain things or the way they think
• 36:14
  Speaker 6: they want the investigation to be. So it's an interesting
• 36:19
  Speaker 6: dynamic being a woman and being able to know, you know,
• 36:22
  Speaker 6: those types of clients, and I've gotten pretty astute at
• 36:25
  Speaker 6: like figuring out who they are. There's certain triggering words
• 36:28
  Speaker 6: that they'll say, and I'm like, we're not doing this guy,
• 36:31
  Speaker 6: I don't care if he wants a woman.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: There's other women you can go and find.
• 36:34
  Speaker 6: It's not going to be me, but I think there
• 36:36
  Speaker 6: are And I again, I think I've had this express
• 36:39
  Speaker 6: to me more from men clients than from women, that they.
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: Are more comfortable working with a woman.
• 36:46
  Speaker 6: And part of it, I think being their own insecurities
• 36:50
  Speaker 6: and the threat to the subject that we're watching.
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: That they don't want to get caught.
• 36:54
  Speaker 6: They're scared, they're nervous about it, and they feel more
• 36:56
  Speaker 6: secure having a woman do the job.
• 37:00
  Speaker 8: Yes, because nobody thinks a woman exactly following.
• 37:03
  Speaker 6: They don't want to they don't want that that cop feel.
• 37:06
  Speaker 4: I guess she's getting kids.
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: Give me a lot to think about.
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: Oh okay, Well, as you said, a lot of this
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: can be very you know, heartbreaking or difficult or whatever
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: to share, perhaps embarrassing to share This is going to
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: sound like a strange question, but I've heard it all
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: with you. I mean, yeah, sure, now that I say that,
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: this is not even going to sound strange you at all.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: But like, at the end of the investigation, do you
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: feel like people have closure? Like what is the feeling
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: that they have?
• 37:45
  Speaker 6: I think for the most part, yes, there is definitely
• 37:48
  Speaker 6: there is definitely a sense of closure For a lot
• 37:50
  Speaker 6: of people.
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: We get a lot of repeats. We get a lot
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: of repeats, whether one way or the other.
• 37:56
  Speaker 6: So even when we have a case where we caught
• 37:59
  Speaker 6: their part and are cheating, they come back to us
• 38:02
  Speaker 6: a couple years later. And that's why it's so important
• 38:04
  Speaker 6: when I had that initial conversation with them to say,
• 38:07
  Speaker 6: you know what, don't go blowing this out of the water.
• 38:10
  Speaker 6: Don't take this video and run to your partner and say,
• 38:13
  Speaker 6: oh I got you, I got you, because you might
• 38:15
  Speaker 6: not leave that person might.
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: Say I'm going to change, Everything's going to.
• 38:19
  Speaker 6: Be great, and then guess what, a year later, you're
• 38:22
  Speaker 6: finding yourself feeling the same way. And now they know
• 38:25
  Speaker 6: that you've had surveillance on them before because you showed
• 38:28
  Speaker 6: them the video, it's going to be that much harder
• 38:30
  Speaker 6: to catch them next time, So I say put it in.
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: Your back pocket so you really figure out where things
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: are going.
• 38:45
  Speaker 5: Well, obviously y'all see a lot, a lot, a lot
• 38:48
  Speaker 5: as well as you've been through a lot. I know
• 38:51
  Speaker 5: there were points that you had probably people threatening you
• 38:54
  Speaker 5: and or accusing you of being the doubtful of their relationship,
• 38:57
  Speaker 5: as if you had something to do with it. What
• 38:59
  Speaker 5: do you do for yourself to and also, this is
• 39:02
  Speaker 5: not a nine to five job, obviously you are constantly
• 39:04
  Speaker 5: having to be on looking around.
• 39:07
  Speaker 4: What do you do to disconnect?
• 39:08
  Speaker 5: Because I can't imagine it's that easy.
• 39:11
  Speaker 6: We have you know, even when we're not in the field,
• 39:14
  Speaker 6: they're doing investigations, so you know, we have investigators that
• 39:17
  Speaker 6: report to us, so we're constantly unfortunately, and as a
• 39:20
  Speaker 6: business owner, you know it's it's not a nine to
• 39:23
  Speaker 6: five You're right, So I guess the best way to
• 39:25
  Speaker 6: disconnect is like the one opportunity to go on vacation
• 39:31
  Speaker 6: with it.
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: Please don't call me, please good.
• 39:36
  Speaker 8: Yeah, Barry and I are always working twenty four to seven, but.
• 39:42
  Speaker 9: We do that because we love it.
• 39:43
  Speaker 8: This is Barry's business, so obviously it's her life and
• 39:49
  Speaker 8: I love it, and I love Barry, and I want
• 39:51
  Speaker 8: to make Barry happy, and I want our business to grow.
• 39:55
  Speaker 8: And I really like being exactly where I am today.
• 40:00
  Speaker 9: I wish I started a long time ago with her.
• 40:03
  Speaker 8: But you know, when I'm home, I we're still doing
• 40:07
  Speaker 8: our normal on the weekends, doing our daily activities and
• 40:12
  Speaker 8: at the same time answering phone calls, you know, so
• 40:15
  Speaker 8: it's the same thing. My wife may be like, hey, what,
• 40:18
  Speaker 8: I'm like, hold on a second, So what do you do?
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: You do anything to you like, you have hobbies that
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: you do.
• 40:26
  Speaker 9: I mean, I like to you know, over the years,
• 40:32
  Speaker 9: things have changed.
• 40:33
  Speaker 8: I used to be like very into like being an
• 40:36
  Speaker 8: athlete and doing like obstacle course races and stuff. But
• 40:40
  Speaker 8: now I enjoy like my time home with you know,
• 40:43
  Speaker 8: my wife and my step son and going to his
• 40:46
  Speaker 8: wrestling matches or football or you know. That's kind of
• 40:49
  Speaker 8: you know, I have a big family, so you know,
• 40:51
  Speaker 8: spending time, you know, with them and just doing little things.
• 40:56
  Speaker 8: I live near the beach, going for a walk with
• 40:58
  Speaker 8: my dogs. I mean, it's just a little time to
• 41:01
  Speaker 8: relax and then I'm back out there. But you know,
• 41:04
  Speaker 8: private investigation, it's it's not just a you know, an
• 41:08
  Speaker 8: eight hour day, right, you know, ever know where.
• 41:11
  Speaker 6: You're going to end up, how long you know your
• 41:13
  Speaker 6: subject is going to be out and about and you
• 41:15
  Speaker 6: have to stay with them.
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: You know, till the end.
• 41:18
  Speaker 8: Yeah, I mean I think my longest hour day was
• 41:22
  Speaker 8: a seventeen hour day. And my longest drive following someone
• 41:28
  Speaker 8: was from New Jersey to Ohio.
• 41:30
  Speaker 9: Oh dang, yes, And you like really don't know.
• 41:34
  Speaker 8: But I can blend into any situation. The car is
• 41:38
  Speaker 8: packed and loaded. So if I have to follow Barry
• 41:41
  Speaker 8: home right now, I can spy on her. If she
• 41:44
  Speaker 8: changes to go out on the boat, I can.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: I will be bored, yeah, but.
• 41:51
  Speaker 9: Yeah, I'll be here.
• 41:56
  Speaker 4: So essentially, you just try to grasp a moment just to.
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: Know. I think that's how you live your life anyway.
• 42:03
  Speaker 6: You know, when things are great, you go with it
• 42:06
  Speaker 6: and you're happy, and you've got to try and be
• 42:08
  Speaker 6: in that moment and prefer not to look at my
• 42:10
  Speaker 6: phone or anything like that, and that I'm happy for
• 42:14
  Speaker 6: a minute.
• 42:14
  Speaker 9: Yeah, we take turns.
• 42:16
  Speaker 8: We'll say okay, we'll share, we share, we share, you
• 42:20
  Speaker 8: get today, I'll take all the calls and we're pretty
• 42:23
  Speaker 8: good about that.
• 42:24
  Speaker 9: So it's a good balance.
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: We share.
• 42:27
  Speaker 5: We share well, not that I'm asking for a specific reason,
• 42:31
  Speaker 5: and I don't have any plots or anything. But if
• 42:34
  Speaker 5: I were to need to get off the grid, what
• 42:38
  Speaker 5: would you say? What are the steps and things I
• 42:40
  Speaker 5: should be doing in order for me to be not found?
• 42:44
  Speaker 9: Don't have a phone and get off social media?
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: Get off?
• 42:48
  Speaker 6: Yeah, start off slow, no social media, that's the best
• 42:51
  Speaker 6: way to go. And then there's obviously other companies that
• 42:55
  Speaker 6: can help wipe you off all of those databases that
• 42:58
  Speaker 6: come up, like we see Amantham McVeigh that is, you know,
• 43:02
  Speaker 6: twenty years old and lives in blah blah blah blah
• 43:03
  Speaker 6: blah blah blah. There's there's there's products out there that
• 43:06
  Speaker 6: can help you work through wiping that out as much
• 43:09
  Speaker 6: as possible. I I honestly, it's it's really hard. It's
• 43:14
  Speaker 6: really hard.
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: But social media would definitely be number one.
• 43:17
  Speaker 6: You know, using certain applications on your phone, obviously the
• 43:21
  Speaker 6: ones that have location and tracking, you want to get
• 43:23
  Speaker 6: rid of those.
• 43:23
  Speaker 9: Get a track phone, yeah, get a track phone.
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: And you could still.
• 43:28
  Speaker 6: Use your you know, your your fancy phones if you want,
• 43:31
  Speaker 6: but you know, just don't. I wouldn't use Siri or
• 43:34
  Speaker 6: Snapchat or anything that has maps and things that you know,
• 43:38
  Speaker 6: Google that share your location, make sure those are all
• 43:40
  Speaker 6: shut off.
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: And I would Yeah, number one.
• 43:44
  Speaker 6: Social media I think is the killer, the killer of
• 43:48
  Speaker 6: all things.
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's fun for a minute and then.
• 43:51
  Speaker 6: It's just just sucks it down a black hole and
• 43:53
  Speaker 6: everybody knows everything about you that you wish that they didn't, and.
• 43:57
  Speaker 8: And people that don't know about you can find us
• 44:00
  Speaker 8: out about it.
• 44:01
  Speaker 6: We always like remark every time we have a case
• 44:05
  Speaker 6: where it's like this person is just blowing up their
• 44:07
  Speaker 6: social media, like literally telling us where they are going.
• 44:11
  Speaker 9: We're going to.
• 44:11
  Speaker 6: Cape May for the weekend, and we're staying in this
• 44:13
  Speaker 6: hotel and I'm like, you're going to.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: This hotel and came back.
• 44:16
  Speaker 9: Then I'm tagging my going off. The girl is there.
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: We're watching her for like three days when I got
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: it with her.
• 44:23
  Speaker 6: Family, she's got her room, we're all set up. Every
• 44:26
  Speaker 6: time that happens, I'm like, this isn't going to happen again.
• 44:28
  Speaker 6: These people are going to get smart. No, no, nope,
• 44:31
  Speaker 6: everybody's dumb.
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: Everybody's still dumb. It's unbelievable.
• 44:35
  Speaker 6: They just cannot resist. So the first way to get
• 44:38
  Speaker 6: off the grid. Stop stop sharing your stuff?
• 44:41
  Speaker 9: Yes, social stories, you got it?
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: Do that now?
• 44:46
  Speaker 8: Just kidding, Well, you can't find anything out about you?
• 44:54
  Speaker 9: Different story, yes, honest, a way for that.
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much for joining us. This has
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: been such a fun conversation. I know that we could
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: talk so much more.
• 45:10
  Speaker 5: So.
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: If you're welcome back anytime, fantastic. Yes, if you're ever
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: in Atlanta, We're always around.
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: I've been there. I like it.
• 45:18
  Speaker 9: I've never been there, so I haven't got it out
• 45:21
  Speaker 9: my phone.
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: Actually none of our cases.
• 45:24
  Speaker 4: Is there cases down here?
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, no doubt.
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: But in the meantime before we get to meet you,
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: do have a new podcast. The first season's on infidelity correct, Yes,
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: primarily primarily all right, So can you tell the good
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: listeners where they can find you?
• 45:43
  Speaker 8: Well, you can find us on Apple and Spotify.
• 45:47
  Speaker 9: We launch on August seventh, and.
• 45:51
  Speaker 8: If you want to be featured on our show so
• 45:53
  Speaker 8: we can talk about either your story or some advice,
• 45:58
  Speaker 8: you can email us at the private Eyzed podcast at
• 46:02
  Speaker 8: gmail dot com.
• 46:03
  Speaker 4: Do y'all have social media? We can follow.
• 46:05
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 46:05
  Speaker 8: Our live component of the show you can see on
• 46:08
  Speaker 8: our YouTube channel. We also have an Instagram page, and
• 46:12
  Speaker 8: we also have a TikTok page all at Private eye Podcast.
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: Awesome and you can contact us. You can email us
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: at stuffan your Mom, stuff at heeartmanu dot com. You
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: can find us on Twitter at moms podcast, our Instagram
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: and TikTok at stuff I've Never Told You. We have
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: a tea public store, we have a YouTube page, and
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: we have a book you can get wherever you get
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: your books. Special shout out to Alex, producer of the
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: Private Eyzed podcast who helps set this up.
• 46:39
  Speaker 3: And as always, thank you to.
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: Our super producer Christina, our executivedruser Mya, and our contributor Joey.
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: Thank you and thanks to you for listening Stuff I
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: Never Told You the projection of by Heart Radio for our
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: podcast from our Heart Radio, You can check out the
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or if you listen to
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: your favorite shows