Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 2 - Episode 33 - The effects of feedback vs criticism

Transcript

Season 2 - Episode 33 - The effects of feedback vs criticism · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the good morning from the chicken coop, podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and master mindset.
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  Coach filled with inspiration, distinctions, perspectives and
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  possibilities. We help you to cultivate a
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  mindset that leads you to create the best version of yourself.
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  You could ever imagine join Kim. Every morning from one of her.
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  Favorite happy places her chicken coop, along with all her
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  chickens. Hey everybody.
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  Good morning from the chicken coop.
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  Today, we are talking about feedback criticism taking it on.
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  And understanding that the conclusions we come to are often
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  not as accurate as we think they may be.
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  So, you know, I get pulled into a lot of situations to give
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  feedback to people. Obviously, that's what my job
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  is. And what I love to do is give
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  people different perspectives and I always try to find as many
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  different perspectives on a subject as I can.
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  That's kind of the strength in which I dwell Because I can give
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  multiple facets to something so that people have options when
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  they start to think about it. And often this shows up, when
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  people are talking about something that happened to them
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  with them other people and their they'll bring it up and they'll
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  say, well, you know, so and so said this or my boss said this
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  or someone in my company's to this or and they frame it under
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  the guise of feedback. So I want to be really clear
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  about this criticism is extraordinary.
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  Totally different than feedback feedback, gives you stuff that
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  you can use, and it's given to you in a way that actually makes
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  you feel like you've got something you can work with,
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  Okay? Criticism breaks you down,
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  psychologically, feedback, builds you up.
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  And when it's done in the right format, and it's done in the
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  right way, you should not leave feeling depleted.
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  We often as human beings will offer information to people
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  without their permission. So we'll be like, oh, that's
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  gross. Why would you do that?
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  Did I did it at a DA, whatever it might be and that is
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  criticism whether we want to realize it or not.
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  That's criticism. And we don't make people feel
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  good like that. So when you start to think about
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  this and you go into your your world and you're taking in
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  information so you can hear something.
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  But you don't Have to take it in like you've probably heard me
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  say before we are we have a choice.
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  If we want to be in the world or of the world or bold and for me,
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  I'm in this world. But I don't feel like I'm of
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  this world. I don't, I don't take in all the
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  outside energy. That's - I refuse to compete to
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  put myself into the deep space of the mass.
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  Mind, I won't do it. It's to depleting its to - it's
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  too toxic. And I refuse to go there.
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  I just don't like it so it's just it's just not something
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  that that works for me. So that being said, I focus more
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  on going to people trusted advisors and working with them.
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  And, you know, here's the funny part.
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  There's a very very old quote, that Buddha said and I love this
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  because it's so true. Now obviously language and
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  translation are a little bit different but listen to this,
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  should you find a wise critic to point?
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  Your false follow him as you would a guide to Hidden
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  Treasures. Now for me that really means
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  getting feedback because they're giving you information about
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  yourself so that you can better yourself and get to the hidden
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  part of the treasures in it, not to be criticized you know.
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  It's like we look so much we don't recognize how much we all
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  want to get gold stars. We all want people to like us.
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  We all want people. To be proud of us.
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  We all want people to say great job, atta boy, Atta girl,
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  whatever. And sometimes we have to do that
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  for ourselves, we have to be our biggest cheerleader.
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  When I, I mean in this world, I can tell you right now, my
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  husband is a cheerleader of my, my daughter and my son or
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  cheerleaders a mind. But I know for a fact, I am my
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  biggest cheerleader and I love being able to do that for myself
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  because I will take feedback from other people.
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  But if I feel that someone Crossing a line and they're
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  going into criticism and they're not giving me constructiveness,
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  they're just being destructive. You know, there's a difference
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  between the two constructive and destructive, I just don't hear
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  what they have to say. I say thank you for sharing and
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  I move on in my head I'm like, okay, great now sometimes is it
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  hard to move on? Is it hard to say?
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  I'm going to let that go. Yeah, it is, it's hard because
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  it hurts us, it wounds us and all of a sudden were in 6th
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  grade again. And, you know, mrs.
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  Lobo is telling you you're never going to be great at math, and
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  yes, that happens. To me and you know what, I just
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  don't care. I don't care because she was not
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  an advocate for greatness. She was an advocate for finding,
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  what was wrong that whole thing about arguing for everything
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  that she could find wrong all the time.
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  It didn't work, it didn't help. It only broke me down and I had
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  to find a way to build myself back up.
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  So the point of this is, please make sure you find somebody that
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  you can We Trust before you share things with that.
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  You are looking for feedback on and really look and say, I'm
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  looking for feedback, not criticism and when you actually
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  say that to people, sometimes there are taken back there.
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  Like, what do you mean? They don't even understand it.
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  I want you to give me things that I can use constructively to
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  help myself. I don't want the destructive
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  stuff of criticism. There is a difference.
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  So I hope this was helpful. I hope you find your person and
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  please know I'm I'm giving you an atta boy or a girl or
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  whatever you want it to be because that matter is great job
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  for showing up. Great job for trying.
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  All right, my friends, I will see you tomorrow.
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  I hope you have a very blessed day.
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  Bye. I'm giving you an atta boy or a
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  girl or whatever you want it to be because that matter is great
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  job for showing up. Great job for trying.
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  All right, my friends, I will see you tomorrow.
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  I hope you have a very blessed day.
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  Bye.