Latest / CALL ME MISTRESS / MEN TAKING THE PLUNGE IN THE DATING POOL ---> IT'S SHALLOW, VERY SHALLOW

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MEN TAKING THE PLUNGE IN THE DATING POOL ---> IT'S SHALLOW, VERY SHALLOW · CALL ME MISTRESS

0:07
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
0:10
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and I've got with me today Evie
0:14
Bolin. Hello.
0:16
Hi, Evie. Hi, Mistress Mia.
0:21
You know, we had a nice little lunch about a week or two ago.
0:27
Oh. Yeah, with.
0:28
Poe and Shaman and we hung out with them and we talked about
0:33
quite a few things that day. You were talking AI, you're
0:38
talking all this nerd stuff. And I'm like look.
0:41
At that bitch you're so smart oh thank you it's right.
0:45
I just want to be a bimbo in my real life I.
0:49
Don't know too much. Oh no, no, you're better than
0:53
that. But still, you know, why not be
0:54
a bimbo for a day? I'll see a bit more a day.
0:58
I know Shaman likes to be a bimbo because he was taking
1:00
selfies. Oh my God.
1:03
And he was like, Oh my God, it's a crime to look this good.
1:06
We love, we love confidence. I mean, it's better than the
1:11
alternative of like the timid. Like I'm still ugly, Don't look
1:16
at me. You know, yes.
1:18
And so, you know, in the lifestyle, in our life in
1:24
general, between the vanilla world and the fetish world, we
1:30
meet a lot of single men. You know, we meet a lot of
1:34
single women, but primarily it's single men.
1:38
And I think that if they had a better understanding on how to
1:42
really put themselves out there and how to be social, then they
1:46
wouldn't be single. Yeah.
1:47
Because I see a lot of them. I thought when I first got into
1:50
the dungeon that I was gonna see a lot of unfortunate souls.
1:56
But that was not the case. That's.
1:57
Not the case. A lot of these guys are really
1:59
good looking. They're not schmucks.
2:04
Yeah. And so I'm like, why are you
2:07
paying me, man? Like you can't get a girlfriend
2:10
to come do this for you. Like it didn't make sense.
2:14
Well, you know, you have a lot of men that that we see that are
2:17
cross dressers and you know, their girlfriends don't know or
2:21
if they knew they wouldn't want anything to do with it.
2:24
You take someone who's like Mandy Candy, is he going to have
2:27
a girlfriend that's going to accept him and really embrace
2:33
everything about him looking sexy and hot in his cute little
2:36
skirt with his little thigh eyes and showing off his sexy little
2:39
ass? Maybe not right, but PO gave me
2:44
the great idea and I'm going to use his words exactly.
2:47
He said to make a great podcast. It would really be great
2:51
explaining tips for dating profiles with fetish and vanilla
2:55
features. I bet a lot of people could use
2:57
that advice. I think for the beginning of
3:00
this we need to address as Dom's just as we did, you know, Would
3:06
they be able to be honest about their fetish?
3:08
So on the on their vanilla profile.
3:10
Yeah. What do you think?
3:12
I think. I think honesty is the best
3:14
policy, but it has to like don't lie, but you can omit things.
3:18
And I don't mean to because like I see, I've seen profiles
3:21
personally that, well, people will just kind of list out their
3:25
kinks on their vanilla profiles, not on Fetlife, but on their
3:28
like vanilla profile, Sure. Like Facebook dating, Facebook
3:31
dating, Facebook dating, Tinder, Bumble, things like that.
3:35
And to me, I'm like, like, I feel like that would be better
3:41
for that. But I do think that I see the
3:44
opposite where it's like people just don't mention that they're
3:48
any kind of kink and then that is a surprise later.
3:53
And so it's like, I think that they should kind of like say
3:55
like, hey, I'm into an alternative to the, you know,
3:58
alternative lifestyles of BSM and whatever.
4:01
Just don't make that the focal point of your like profile.
4:06
So I want to know, I want to know about you more than just
4:08
like your sexual stuff. I want to know what are your
4:11
hobbies? And don't say traveling because
4:14
everybody likes traveling. That's like saying I like music.
4:17
Everybody likes music. Don't put that on your profile.
4:20
Stop it. But like, I want to really know
4:24
you. I want to really know like, you
4:27
know what, what do you do? Like what makes you interesting?
4:30
What are things you care about? What are like the things that
4:34
make your eyes light up when you talk about them?
4:36
Like that's that's me. And you know, I don't know.
4:41
That's what I would say. Well, so there's one thing to be
4:44
transparent like that. And I think men need
4:48
transparency in women. But I think a lot of women, I
4:52
think they really want that mystery.
4:55
Yeah. You know, I think they want to
4:58
almost be blindsided because they they want to see something
5:01
Maybe that's not always there. You'd said this earlier.
5:05
We were talking about it. You know, when you're making a
5:07
transition in any form in your life, you need to have your shit
5:10
together. Oh, yeah.
5:12
Before you start dating. Right.
5:15
So one of my friends, for example, you know, he was pretty
5:19
much, you know, focusing on everyone else but himself.
5:26
And and I said, look, you need to do things to improve yourself
5:29
so you can have a greater quality of your own life that
5:32
you're happy about. And so I was like, you know, you
5:36
need to change your look. You need to dress and clothing
5:40
that really, you know, pulls out your eye color and, you know,
5:46
people need to see men that can dress.
5:50
I think, you know, appearance is number 1.
5:53
I mean, we're going to be superficial at the very
5:55
beginning of this. Men that smell nice, huge.
5:59
Like really nice Cologne. Don't be cheap.
6:00
Exactly. Really nice Cologne.
6:03
I always say, you know, great shoes, you know, don't, don't
6:06
stoop on, you know, shitty shoes or sandals.
6:10
You know, if you're going to wear sandals, don't have beat up
6:13
toes or beat up nasty feet. Oh, another thing, clean your
6:17
fucking fingernails. Oh.
6:19
God, that's huge. It's.
6:20
Huge It's like that's one of the things I'm I don't date men, you
6:24
know, I don't date straight men, but I notice I see it like guys
6:28
who have like really messed up nails and not from working, but
6:31
like they just don't clean their nails.
6:33
They don't cut their nails, they don't take care of their hands.
6:36
It's like that's really gross. It is.
6:38
It's really gross and you should take because like it's not just
6:41
a matter of hygiene, but it's like, OK, are you taking care of
6:45
yourself? And like, that's what a lot of
6:47
women like, you know, I'm not a straight woman, but I like I
6:50
because a woman, I look at details, you know, if I see how
6:53
you carry yourself, I see how, you know, I will notice dirt
6:57
under your fingernails. You know, I will notice hair in
7:00
their ear, hair in your ears, hair out of their nose, hair out
7:04
of their. I notice those things.
7:05
It's like you should take care of yourself and not only with
7:07
that, not only not just to attract somebody, but to make
7:11
yourself feel good. You know?
7:13
If you don't know how to dress, there are subreddits you can go
7:17
on Pinterest. Stay away from the manosphere.
7:21
Stuff of like don't ever listen to a man about how to get women
7:26
because they don't know. Oh, so true.
7:29
Listen to women look at, you know, you know how like certain
7:34
trends and stuff like that, like what kind of hairstyle is going
7:36
to look good on you? Like, I don't know, there's a
7:39
lot of things you can do. It's huge, it's huge, and I get
7:42
on to certain people who have beards.
7:46
If you're going to have a beard and you don't maintain it, cut
7:49
the fuck a beer off. Cut it off.
7:52
You have to be on that you. Have to, you do cut the beard
7:54
off period. If if you have facial hair or
7:58
mustache or anything like that, if you're not groomed and you're
8:00
not doing it every day, you don't need it, you know, and
8:05
once a month they need to go to the Barber shop or they need to
8:08
go to a salon, they need to get their hair done once a month.
8:11
You know, it's a $4050 expense. You know, I mean it.
8:15
It's important. You know, as women, we spend
8:18
$100 when we go to the salon, we get our nails done, we get the
8:21
pedicure, we get the either a manicure or a set of nails.
8:25
That's 100 bucks right off the rib.
8:27
Yeah, all the facial creams we buy facial creams, makeup,
8:31
makeup. Our sookens are closed.
8:33
Yes hair products, hair products yes and if you can't do the bare
8:40
minimum it's like it just I don't know it what it would make
8:43
you feel good. It would make you feel a lot
8:45
better to take care of yourself and it would make you feel
8:49
confident because. Angels talking to you.
8:51
Angel loves it, am I right? But I think, you know, a lot of
8:57
the antidote for the insecurity is doing things that make you
9:01
feel secure in yourself. And.
9:04
Just like, I don't know, it would make you feel better, you
9:07
know? Absolutely.
9:09
And you know, there's a lot of men who have said, well, do I
9:11
really want to go get a pedicure?
9:12
Do I really want to go get a manicure?
9:13
Yes, you really do. Yeah.
9:16
So anyway, it goes back to self-care.
9:18
Okay, so we've talked about the appearance concept of things.
9:21
Yeah. Now I told people that, you
9:24
know, I had a friend, Sarah James, and she was very much a
9:27
crossdresser. She's biological male.
9:29
She functions and does whatever she does as a biker, as you
9:34
know, as a hip guy in a band, blah, blah, blah.
9:36
But he has this cross dressing side of Sarah and he has has
9:41
multiple, you know, dating profiles.
9:44
Over the years since I knew him, he has gotten married and
9:48
divorced. He has had multiple girlfriends.
9:51
He's like, oh, Mia, this is the one, this is the 10 Lord.
9:54
And they've all been nuts. But ultimately, you know, he's
9:57
nuts. I love him.
9:59
However, he was very upfront with every woman he ever went
10:03
out with. He put on his profile, I'm a
10:05
crossdresser. If you have a problem, sorry,
10:07
fuck you. That's it.
10:09
So I'm like you. It's like, how honest do you be?
10:11
I don't know. I don't have that answer, but I
10:13
do know that you have somebody that that we've spoken to that
10:17
you've met and, you know, he hasn't dated in years.
10:21
He's 40 years old and he hasn't dated.
10:23
And so his kink is really hindering him.
10:26
You know, This is why we were talking about like the adult
10:29
baby situation. How do you tell someone you're
10:32
potentially wanting to date that you're into an adult baby?
10:35
And it's like, you know, there's been people who've said, well,
10:38
you know, my ex-girlfriend found this out and she threatened to
10:41
out me. So I don't know, see, This is
10:43
why I think like being truthful about being in the community,
10:47
right? So start that off, get that out
10:49
of the way. You don't have to be specific,
10:51
but say I, I, I'm into alternative lifestyles, I'm into
10:54
BDSM, you know, use umbrella terms.
10:57
Yes, excuse me, but I think it is perfectly fine, especially
11:05
for really taboo and stigmatized kings, to keep that close to
11:10
your chest until you can make sure that this person isn't
11:14
going to weaponize them like it is.
11:16
And you, and you have to do that like, you know, you have to let
11:21
me think, try to word this. I think that you have to put out
11:27
feelers for different types of questions you're going to ask
11:31
them. Like how do they think is this
11:33
an evolved thinker? Is this someone, if you, you
11:37
throw out a comment about maybe 50 Shades of Grey or or
11:40
something and what is their reaction to it are.
11:43
And you can, you don't have to ever directly say the thing, but
11:47
you can hint things adjacent to it and gauge reactions that way.
11:51
I think it's perfectly acceptable to protect yourself
11:54
if you are someone who has a highly stigmatized kink to keep
11:58
that close to your chest until you know that that person is
12:00
worthy and safe to tell them about it.
12:03
So there's lots of ways you can do that.
12:05
You know, there's a lot, like, I could probably think about a
12:08
few, but I need a minute trying to slow my ADHD down.
12:15
But yeah, I, I think putting feelers out, does this person
12:19
flinch when you, you talk about maybe some like a BDSM scene you
12:24
saw or, you know, 50 Shades, what other things?
12:26
There's, there's a bunch of other things that I just can't
12:28
think of because I don't engage with pop culture, No.
12:31
And I think too, if you you correlate it with a movie,
12:34
because movies are relatable to a lot of people.
12:36
People like cinema, right. So you bring up simple things
12:40
like there was that Damon Wayans movie where they had the guy and
12:44
he would pose as a baby. It's like, is she going to find
12:47
it humorous? Is she going to find it cute?
12:49
Watch the movie, you know, like you said, gauge your reaction.
12:52
Yeah. So I think there's little simple
12:54
things you can do. Yeah.
12:55
But I think that, and I've I've explained this to different male
12:59
friends of mine, men are like Cavemen.
13:01
They're very simplistic. They take and they think of
13:05
themselves in the way like, what can ioffer this individual
13:09
measure themselves as individuals as to their
13:13
financial status or what they can give their potential
13:17
partners? But men are very simplistic.
13:19
I don't think that men see the bigger picture.
13:22
I think they're willing to settle and they're willing to
13:25
compromise their own beliefs and their values when they find a
13:28
woman that they might just be attracted to, or she might have
13:32
some qualities that are really great and those are those
13:35
qualities that outweigh the negative.
13:37
Yeah. I think that you know, there was
13:42
there was a show years ago and it was millionaire Matchmaker,
13:46
right? So she would have these little
13:48
mingles and she said look to drink Max OK, and people
13:53
sometimes would exceed that that to drink limit.
13:56
And my thing is you are going to have a compromise judgment if
14:02
you're under the influence, right, Yes, as we all do.
14:06
So you have to be level headed, clear minded, and you have to
14:10
find compatible partners that you have true things in common
14:14
with. So we're going to take the
14:17
example of the few people that you and I have met and that
14:20
you've met recently that but I've been friends with in the
14:23
community for a while. So they're both gamers, right?
14:26
So they can find women that game or women that are acceptable to
14:30
them gaming, you know, but most men, they like to do outdoor
14:34
stuff, kayaking. Well, you know, there's there's
14:37
clubs, there's other places that they can go to to do things
14:41
like, you know, kayaking groups and hiking groups and that kind
14:44
of thing. I just think that so many men
14:47
have this level of insecurity with their own kink that they
14:51
don't address it. And I think so many women are
14:54
naive to the fact that all men have a specific kink.
14:58
Yeah, we all have one thing that we really like.
15:01
And it might not even be BDSM related.
15:03
It might be that maybe have kissing fetish like you know
15:09
you're. Really into kissing you're.
15:10
Really into kissing, that's the way you can actually have an
15:13
orgasm. That's the way you connect with
15:16
somebody. You know, I'm trying to think of
15:18
other like traditional things, but you want to find somebody
15:22
that that really interacts with you well.
15:24
And like you said, keep your secrets to to your chest to a
15:27
point until you know that person's safe.
15:30
Yeah, but don't blind side them. Don't.
15:32
Don't blind side them so be honest that you're into some
15:35
shit and you know use the common ones that people already know
15:39
about. People like BDSM is pretty
15:41
because of the pop culture stuff, but the more sensitive
15:44
ones, the ones that could be used against you to to
15:46
weaponize, to hurt you. Keep those close to your chest
15:49
until that person is proving themselves safe enough to
15:54
divulge that to you. Also, you were saying something
15:58
about the kayaking groups and all these other different
16:00
things. I think just people in general,
16:03
myself included, I think that we people would, we would all feel
16:08
more confident if we actually like did something cool and
16:11
creative more like, you know, like get a skill set, Like
16:15
there's so many cool things you could do.
16:17
Like there's like a Pensacola, right?
16:20
Is that kind of saying? Yeah, OK.
16:21
Absolutely. So here in Pensacola, there's
16:23
all kinds of little places you can go to like learn stuff you
16:28
could learn. You could take a drawing class,
16:30
you could take a pottery class. These are the avenues to meet
16:34
people. But it's also like, don't just
16:36
go with that. Like I'm going to meet somebody.
16:37
I'm going to, I'm on the, I'm on the pro, but like go there to
16:42
like, I'm going to enrich myself and like that just naturally
16:46
like attracts people to you and you're like deciding that I'm
16:49
going to like do something for me and like enriching my life.
16:56
That's, you know, that's good. It's good for your brain and it
16:58
makes you more confident and makes you more approachable.
17:01
And I don't, I don't know. You're absolutely right.
17:04
It's like going to a theater group where you're going to be
17:07
engaging with people. You know, you're setting the
17:10
stage unintended. You're setting the stage for a
17:14
potential partner who would have the same common interest.
17:17
You know, meeting somebody organically, that's something
17:21
that is so valuable. You know, it's like you don't
17:25
necessarily have to depend on a dating profile.
17:27
Yeah. But like you said, you know, I I
17:30
tried to pair up people, even men, you know, try to pair up
17:35
male friends so that they can develop, you know, camaraderie
17:39
to go out, be each other's wingman and feel things out.
17:42
And they don't have to go to a fucking bar.
17:43
They could go, you know, have, you know, dinner.
17:46
They could go somewhere where they would see other singles.
17:50
That you bring up a really good point.
17:52
I think the because there are a lot of single women, right, who
17:56
haven't dated etcetera, etcetera, but they don't have
17:58
the same kind of, I guess a lot. I'm, I'm not going to speak for
18:03
everybody, but like, I'm single. Just from your.
18:05
Experience. Just from my experience, I'm
18:07
single. I don't really date.
18:10
And that I'm not looking to right now because I've I've
18:13
spending a lot of my time trying to better myself, not to be
18:18
better for a potential future, but because I deserve to love
18:22
myself. I deserve to have these cool,
18:26
enriching experiences. And I also have like my need for
18:30
connection. I have really rich, like
18:34
friendship and platonic connections like you, oops at
18:37
the mic, like you, my my vanilla friends, you know, and I I think
18:44
a lot of men really do need more male friends that are not that
18:52
influences. So stay drinking respect women
18:55
juice. I think that you guys, a lot of
18:59
the, the, the males, the male listeners wouldn't feel so as
19:02
isolated being single if they made really like authentic,
19:08
genuine connections with other men and, and friends without the
19:11
goal of like dating, dating. Like I, so I, you know, I'm a
19:15
lesbian and I have a couple of straight male friends, but it
19:20
was really, really hard for me to make friends with straight
19:24
males because they either only wanted to be my friend because
19:29
they wanted to fuck me or that was the end goal.
19:33
Like, you know, and, and once we got past that point, like as I
19:37
ain't going to have sorry, best days, it's not going to happen.
19:41
They were able to kind of, we were able to form genuine
19:45
connections with each other that are platonic and that have been
19:50
really enriching. Yeah, enriching is the word.
19:53
And I'm like, guys, be friends with women without the goal of
19:58
eventually. Having sex with them.
20:01
Having sex with them, you know, value them as as French, like as
20:05
friends and companions. And, you know, I think too, that
20:11
we meet a lot of men that are very submissive, you know, in
20:15
their kink, you know, and again, I'm, I'm just talking kink
20:18
perspective, but I think it's hard for them to find women that
20:22
don't want or do, excuse me, they find women.
20:28
And these women specifically want, you know, very dominant
20:30
men. And they can't be that.
20:33
It's like they want to, but they really don't have it in them.
20:37
So what do they do? Well, they need to be around
20:40
women that they know has the potential to be dominant versus
20:44
being around submissive women. So it's like, again, you're
20:48
like, go out there and enrich your lives and find something
20:52
that you enjoy, like doing jiu jitsu.
20:54
Yeah. You know there's going to be
20:55
women that do jiu jitsu and they're willing to beat your
20:59
ass, you know? Boxing and stuff like.
21:02
Boxing, yes, do something like that.
21:05
But you know, you find these women who are active and you
21:10
know, a lot of women that go to the gym, you look at them.
21:12
I mean, they're some of them are just buff bitches, you know?
21:16
Me a buff muscle mommy get. Me the hot.
21:23
Guys, Rhea, what is her name? Rhea Ripley.
21:28
She's like AW2. She's my whole past Primo,
21:32
right? I want her to choke, slammy,
21:34
break my arm, put me in a hole, like just fuck me up like and I
21:39
pay her to do it. But yeah, I think that that
21:46
that's a good idea. You know, also guys, you know,
21:49
being single is not a fucking punishment.
21:52
It's not a sentence. You're fine like.
21:56
Yeah, but I know you say that because it's because, you know,
21:59
it's like we're women and we can say those things just because we
22:03
still have so much life in US and the things that we want to
22:06
do. And you're still really young.
22:08
That's true. You are.
22:09
But you know, I'm talking to guys through over 40 and they're
22:11
still single, but they don't realize why they're still
22:15
single. Right.
22:16
OK, so I think we could break this part down.
22:18
So visually, do they have their their physical appearance
22:22
together? OK, so these are some checklist
22:25
points they they really need to think about and address.
22:28
So are they grooming? Are they dressed in their own
22:31
appropriate attire that is fitting for their look?
22:35
Like you said, now someone wants questions on, you know, an
22:40
actual good look for a man. I am great.
22:42
I can look at somebody. I can tell you, you'll look good
22:45
in this cut, This cut. These are kind of jeans you need
22:47
to wear. Boom, boom, boom.
22:48
Yeah, I will tell you, I have this one friend just going off
22:52
just for one moment. But I had this friend, he came
22:54
to a party years ago, and I love him.
22:57
He's a great guy. He came with this very
22:59
outrageous sexual woman. Incredible.
23:03
And I was like, oh, these two are not a pair for one another
23:06
because he is very reserved. He had on a cat T-shirt.
23:11
She was dressed as a porn star. He's like, look, we were just
23:15
going to the beach and she's like, hey, do you want to go to
23:18
a sex party? He's like, I've never been to a
23:20
sex party. I just came in what I had on.
23:23
He's like, sorry if I don't fit the attire.
23:25
I said no, no, you're good, you're good.
23:28
Well, for a couple years, you know, he ended up helping me
23:30
with the parties, the catering, the ticketing.
23:33
I mean, he was very well-rounded, smart, smart,
23:37
intelligent man, really great guy, quirky, but yet witty.
23:42
Just just a fun kind of nerd guy that you just like, you know,
23:47
and for him, he need to find another nerd chick.
23:50
But you know, other women would hit on him and there was older
23:52
women and younger women that were too young.
23:55
And I'm like, look, you got to change your look.
23:57
You got to throw away the T-shirts.
23:59
So men throw away the fucking T-shirts.
24:03
Anybody can wear a T-shirt. The only time you need to be
24:05
wearing AT shirt is when you're at home lounging like a lazy
24:09
fuck in a pair of pajama pants and nobody's going to fucking
24:11
see you, right? Don't go out in a fucking.
24:14
T-shirt. Only time it's appropriate is if
24:16
it's a banjer and you're going somewhere appropriate.
24:19
There you go any who. So I told him I said, listen,
24:22
what you got to do is you get a nice, you know, button down.
24:26
And I said, if you're coming into a sex party, wear a nice
24:28
black button down, long sleeve but sexy.
24:31
And you want it fitting. You want it form fitting.
24:33
You don't want to where the buttons are popping out, but you
24:36
want it form fitting to you. Like slim cuts are great, but
24:40
then he had bigger legs and I said, look, you need to go for a
24:43
straight leg that's not form fitting and that's not going to
24:46
accentuate your thighs. And then you want to go with the
24:49
dark Jean. You don't go for light colored
24:51
jeans period. If you have a little weight,
24:53
guys, you don't wear light colored jeans.
24:56
They make your ass look big and saggy.
24:59
It's not appealing. If you want a big saggy ass, do
25:01
it. Then I told him, I said, and
25:05
wear nice dress shoes. So you got on a pair of nice
25:08
dress shoes, got a nice black button down.
25:10
You got Cologne on. You know, you're looking
25:12
dazzling. You're smelling dazzling.
25:14
You put some gel in your hair or however your stylist fixes it,
25:17
but make it look good. He didn't listen to me.
25:20
He never listened to me. The shirt was too tight.
25:23
The jeans were the wrong color. You know, he had someone else
25:26
dress him. It didn't, It didn't look right.
25:28
And I said, you know, I keep giving you advice and you don't
25:31
take it. And then, you know, one time he
25:33
had tennis shoes on. He's like, well, the dress shoes
25:35
were uncomfortable. I'm like, do not come to a sex
25:37
party. Do not go to a fancy place
25:40
period wearing fucking tennis shoes.
25:42
Guys don't do it. Or sandals or sandals.
25:45
Nobody likes fucking strappy sandals on dudes.
25:49
So I'll hold on eating. Let me get you the best part.
25:52
So finally, finally, after knowing him for a good six
25:56
years, finally took my complete advice and he dressed to the 9.
26:01
He got a haircut, you know, ear hair gone, nose hair gone.
26:05
Smelled great, everything perfect.
26:09
It was a costume party. He was dressed kind of medieval,
26:13
but it was still very like steampunk, and he looked
26:16
dynamite. Great shoes, the whole outfit.
26:20
I'm like, if you don't get laid tonight, OK, it was not you.
26:25
Because tonight you look fucking incredible.
26:28
And you know what happened here? The party started at 7:00, by
26:31
10:00, by 10:00. Here he comes arm in arm with
26:35
this beautiful brunette. And I said, oh, you 2 look so
26:39
cute together. Is this your first night
26:41
meeting? He's like, Oh yeah, you know, we
26:43
just met and I said, doesn't he look good tonight?
26:46
And she's like, well, I don't know how he usually looks, but
26:49
man. And he smells so good and he
26:50
looks so good. She's like, we were going to go
26:53
upstairs and and have some fun. I said, go ahead and do it.
26:56
And he's like, no, I was going to go ahead and take her back to
26:59
my place. And then she looked at me and
27:01
she's like, have you known him? Could you, can you like vet him?
27:04
And I said, I've known him for years.
27:06
He's a big nerd. I know where he works.
27:08
He's never been married. He has no baggage and no kids.
27:11
He's fucking perfect. I said, not to mention a great
27:14
credit rating. And she's like, yes, just score,
27:18
score. So you know what happened?
27:20
Left. They fucked all night.
27:22
He had a fabulous fucking time. She had a fabulous time.
27:25
She didn't want to leave the next day.
27:27
I was. Yeah.
27:28
And they ended up moving in together like four months later.
27:31
Five months later, yes. Listen to Mia.
27:34
Yes, listen to me, you know. And here's another thing, you
27:38
know, he was one of those. He was telling me he's like,
27:40
well, you know, I don't, I don't really want a woman with kids
27:43
because it's not the kids, it's having to deal with the dads, if
27:47
the dads are shit bags, right? Well, she was kind of in a
27:50
situation where the dad was in existence and I told him, I
27:54
said, look, I said when you're over 30, you're just going to
27:56
have to accept there's going to be nice women that might have a
28:00
few kids. You know, it's one of those
28:02
things, do you want to be a parent?
28:04
You know, can you be a parent? Well, we know you can be a good
28:07
parent, so why not just suck it up and do what comes in your
28:11
future? Stop looking at one specific
28:14
things you don't like and see, that's where I think our karma
28:17
gets us. I think in our mind, we'll,
28:20
we'll tell people and we'll tell ourselves, oh, well, you know
28:22
what? I would never date somebody who
28:24
looks like this and I would never date somebody who does
28:27
that for a living. And ultimately they fall in love
28:30
with that exact same type of person.
28:32
They they talked about not wanting.
28:34
So it's like, stop with the labels and being superficial and
28:38
being stupid and petty over stupid shit that don't matter.
28:41
Yeah, you go for the person's character you know and and
28:44
really value yourself and don't settle for less.
28:48
Yeah, like what are, what are deal Breakers that I cuz I, you
28:51
know, I know that I can ask any of my female friends and be
28:54
like, what's your deal Breakers? And they could give me really
28:57
intelligent list of things that are just no goes for them.
29:00
And they're, they're very like sometimes they're like gotta
29:02
have a nice Dick. OK, But a lot of them are more
29:05
about does he does he respect women?
29:08
Is he, you know, is he nice to wait staff or whatever?
29:12
They all these different intelligent responses.
29:15
And I'm very curious because with at least with the the few
29:19
straight men that I have as friends, when I asked them what
29:21
their deal Breakers are, they are all these very superficial
29:25
things. So that have nothing to do with
29:27
the woman's character and everything is just these super
29:31
like petty superficial things like can't be over 25, hasn't
29:37
had a body count of such and such like this real just shallow
29:41
shit that have nothing to do with who this person is, what
29:44
they value. It's all about what they look
29:47
like. And I get it like attraction is
29:49
important, but attraction is also chemistry with that person.
29:53
If you are your perfect dream girl that fits all your little
29:57
boxes, you, you're what if you don't even like her?
30:01
What if she's just a potato because there's nothing going on
30:05
other than she fits a, you know, a really shallow.
30:08
Yeah, I was going to say it's a physical appearance.
30:11
And also like. Beauty fades.
30:13
That exterior beauty fades. It's going you're going to
30:16
change. Body changes are just trying to
30:18
make them one sell them their loneliness.
30:20
Well, I, I see your point on this, but I also see at the same
30:24
time, I've, I've seen men and they'll say, well, you know,
30:28
she's really attractive, but she was crazy.
30:29
And it seems like all I do is draw crazy women and I'm like,
30:33
well, OK, there's a thing there. It's like, OK, where are you
30:37
meeting these women? Why are you dating them past
30:40
that point? Yeah, when you they give you the
30:42
red. Flags yes so you know let's look
30:45
at the red flags of what you would see in a woman all right
30:48
so as women, you know what this is where we need a man on the
30:51
podcast you know what would they see in a woman and they'd be
30:55
like Oh well I I've never had a man have any issues with my body
30:59
count. You know, and that's because I'm
31:01
not dating someone who is like extreme into the church, right.
31:05
You know, just to throw out the whole religion aspect of it.
31:07
I've I've never had someone who's had issues with my parents
31:11
because I always try to dress appropriately.
31:14
I don't look bad, and I think that's kind of what you go for
31:17
You're. Not dating people you're not
31:18
compatible with exactly are. You going to go out with
31:21
somebody who dresses like a bum, for example, and who is dirty?
31:25
I mean, is that the kind of person that appeals to you?
31:28
Well, you know, I'll tell you this.
31:29
You know, I have one of my nieces and she jokes about she
31:33
kind of likes that grungy look, that grungy skater dude, you
31:38
know? And I'm like, but honey, if he
31:40
has dirty fingernails, for example, you don't want those
31:43
dirty fingernails inside of you. You do not.
31:46
You do not I. Won't like, and there's a
31:48
difference between like curated aesthetics.
31:51
So like the aesthetic of a skater boy, the aesthetic of
31:54
like a surfer dude or a biker. You can dress in those
31:58
aesthetics, those sub styles, whatever.
32:01
It's the problem of like you got dirty fingernails.
32:03
Like it tells me, if you don't clean your fingernails, do you
32:06
wipe your own ass right? Oh my God, don't get me started
32:10
on that. Don't get me started.
32:13
We gotta talk about it. I've, I've said this on the
32:15
podcast before and we just recently talked about it.
32:19
And I said I, I went out with a guy and I wasn't dating him.
32:23
He was, it was strictly for sex. But again, he didn't know how to
32:25
wipe his ass. And my thing of it is, if you
32:27
can't wipe it or you can't reach it, you need to get a fucking
32:30
bidet. You hook up that bidet, they're
32:32
20 bucks on Amazon. You know get spraying that
32:36
asshole if you don't know how to wipe your own ass.
32:38
In your asshole, like it's just it just like I I've known, I've
32:45
heard of like straight girls telling me about their
32:48
boyfriends and how they're like, yeah, he leaves like Doo Doo
32:51
stains on the shoes and I'm like, girl, he fucking what?
32:54
Like there's Doo Doo stains. Like you're OK with that?
32:58
That is not OK. What the fuck?
33:01
Or yeah, his toenails are so long that it tears holes in my
33:04
new sheets. I'm like, bitch, what is the
33:06
matter with you? Like, why are you tolerating
33:08
that? Is like not a domesticated man
33:10
that is a caveman putting him outside like until he can learn
33:15
some manners. But yeah, that's like, like a
33:17
common thing. Like guys are like, I don't want
33:19
to wipe my own ass because it's gay to touch my asshole.
33:22
I'm like. Oh my God, did you hear that?
33:26
I've heard it. Oh my God my brother is like
33:29
y'all. I'm not.
33:30
I'm not gonna put out my brother like that.
33:35
Tell him get a bidet. He says it's too gay.
33:38
Oh, my God, shut up. Oh, goodness.
33:44
We've talked about physical. We've talked about.
33:46
OK, so here's another aspect. How about what they do
33:50
professionally? OK, so if we're doms and we're
33:53
doing our thing again, are we going to be around somebody who
33:56
would look at us and say, oh, I can't deal with that.
34:00
She beats men for a living. She dresses up crossdressers.
34:02
Come on. Could we do that?
34:04
No. So again, you be around someone
34:06
who is going to be understanding I.
34:08
Don't think I, I don't think certain people could, even if
34:12
they have great chemistry, say like a Senator, right?
34:15
Senator comes in, is wanting to date someone, finds a Dom, finds
34:19
out she's a Dom. I just don't think that's going
34:21
to work out just because of what the Dom does.
34:24
And this hypothetical senator, right, sure, because that's
34:27
going to be used against him, blah, blah, blah.
34:30
So like something you don't want to, it's all about
34:32
compatibility. Even if like other stuff is
34:36
good, like sometimes it just don't work out, but you can
34:37
still be, I don't know, cordial. I guess I'm tired.
34:41
I know. It's OK, We're going to, we're
34:42
going to finish this up soon. But so guys, is the checklist of
34:46
the appearance, the smell, hygiene, then you have to
34:50
address your overall personality.
34:52
Yeah. Are you off putting?
34:54
Are you arrogant? Are you someone who professes to
34:57
know everything? Are you someone who is negative
35:01
or bitter or pretentious? All of these things, Nobody
35:06
wants to be around that. No.
35:08
You know, if you want to find someone who is with you, then
35:11
you can find someone who is arrogant or bitter or negative,
35:15
you know, or a big cynic. You can find any of that if you
35:18
want. But, you know, if you draw
35:21
crazy, you might be a little crazy yourself.
35:24
Yeah, or if you draw someone who's a, you know, drunken
35:28
bitch. Why would you be drawn to a
35:30
drunken bitch? Yeah, you know, are you an
35:32
enabler? Are you a drunk?
35:34
Are you some of my red? Flags I don't drink I I don't
35:36
have an update Addicts of any kind, Alcoholics addicts, I
35:40
don't. Yeah, and you know, that's the
35:41
thing. When you're an addict, you
35:44
enable yourself and others around you because you can't get
35:47
past your addiction. Yeah.
35:49
So it affects everything. And I'm a huge enabler.
35:53
I'm such a people pleaser and like addicts and people pleasers
35:56
go together like oil and water. It's oh.
35:58
Yeah, I know that there's so many submissive women and
36:00
they're very few dominant women. Yeah.
36:02
That the dominant women, they want to create a cult for
36:05
themselves, a personality that they want to kind of control
36:09
their minions. I've never been like that.
36:11
But there's women out there who want to create that whole
36:14
concept of having a group of no slaves or minions or
36:18
submissives. If you want to be that, fine be
36:21
that. I don't care.
36:22
But I think in the King community, I think it's going to
36:24
be harder. There is kinkydating.com.
36:28
I met a woman who who started it.
36:31
She's in in Canada and and she started the dating kinky.com
36:36
because she knows how difficult it is to date people that are in
36:40
the fetish lifestyle. Because Fetlife really does not
36:43
give you the capabilities of creating a dating profile.
36:46
Yeah, you have a profile and you can join groups, but then
36:49
there's so many people that are guarded in the community.
36:52
They're like, oh, you got to be vetted.
36:53
Oh, you got to do this. You got to do that.
36:54
You got to jump through hoops, you got to come through our
36:57
group meetings and our munches so we can meet you and all this.
37:00
But again, it's putting yourself out there.
37:03
It's putting yourself out there in a healthy way.
37:05
OK, I'm going to just jump into this.
37:07
I'll say this. So guys, on a dating profile,
37:10
when you're taking pictures of yourself, have someone take
37:13
pictures of you actively doing something.
37:16
Yeah. Don't do the same picture pose
37:19
that are selfies in the same pose for multiple pictures.
37:24
Yeah, don't do that. Because they can't gauge your
37:27
size, your stature, what you're wearing, they can't really
37:30
understand what you really represent as a whole.
37:33
I want to see pictures of you doing your hobbies.
37:35
I want to see pictures of you with your friends, like yes, or
37:38
doing something like if you're at a concert, yes, like ask
37:41
someone in the back even if you're there alone because I
37:43
know a lot of people don't have a lot of friends.
37:45
Sure. And but if you know if you're
37:46
alone, ask someone if you go to like a show to take a picture of
37:49
you and lots of people will do it.
37:50
And lots of. People, put yourself out there,
37:52
stop being so shy and just like no one's ever gonna like me.
37:57
And then you attract what you. Put out in the world,
38:00
absolutely, you really do because people sense those
38:04
feelings. You know you could look at
38:06
someone, you know, the windows of the soul of the eyes, you
38:09
know And if they look into your eyes and they see, you know,
38:13
pain or insecurity, you know people can sense that from you.
38:16
Yeah. So that's why you know you have
38:19
to nourish yourself and nourish your spirit in your mind and do
38:23
healthy things. So don't take a picture of your
38:26
physical body with no shirt on no, if you if you don't have 6
38:29
pack ABS, most women don't even want to see that.
38:32
They don't want to see you grabbing your Dick over your
38:35
shorts. They don't want to see a toilet
38:38
in the background of your pictures.
38:40
No, you know, or bathroom lighting, bathroom light don't
38:44
want to see it's. Not 2006.
38:46
We're done with the bathroom selfies.
38:47
Yes, it's done. We're done.
38:49
You know, it's not attractive. You know, it's like, do we want
38:54
to see a picture of you laying in bed?
38:56
No, no, no, really don't. I mean, if you have some things
39:00
like to supplement, put pick if you're an artist or if you do
39:04
hobbies, if you have pets, don't flood your dating profile that
39:08
but one or two sprinkles of like what makes you you.
39:12
That's really interesting. Those are the profiles that
39:15
catch my eye like, oh, like this person has a dog.
39:17
I love dogs or this person paints.
39:21
I like to paint or just whatever.
39:24
It doesn't have to be those things, but don't you know,
39:26
don't overdo it. Don't make it like your
39:28
Instagram, but just put a little here and there and take nice
39:31
selfies or get get someone else to take them for you.
39:34
And you know, that's something I did.
39:36
You know, I had a little Chihuahua for 18 years and she
39:40
was in my bedroom where we'd go, we'd go to sleep every night.
39:44
And yes, I would have single men I would date and they would come
39:48
back to my place and we would proceed into my bedroom.
39:52
Now, how they reacted and how they interacted with my dog
39:57
meant fucking everything. That was a test.
40:00
The moment she didn't like them, or they weren't kind to her, or
40:05
they didn't treat her like a little baby.
40:08
Oh, these motherfuckers don't even know.
40:10
I never saw him after that. You know, unless they're looking
40:14
at my dog like she's a precious little Angel.
40:17
They got kicked to the curb really fucking quick.
40:20
I think the way people treat animals is fucking huge.
40:26
If you're the fucking cock sucker who's driving down the
40:29
road and you see an armadillo like I saw this this morning on
40:32
my way back from the gym and you purposely want to hit an animal
40:36
on the street, you need to rot in fucking hell.
40:39
That karma's going to get you, bitch.
40:42
Karma is going to get you. Yeah.
40:45
When I've seen people purposefully run over animals,
40:48
you know, for the total control of what they do, that's sick
40:52
shit. They need to.
40:53
Sick shit need to die. So, I mean, these are the people
40:55
in their world, you know, in our world that we have to live with.
40:58
And we really won't know these people until we physically see
41:01
what they do. Yeah.
41:03
So you really want to see someone's deep, dark secrets of
41:06
what they do and how they are. Then I'm like you.
41:09
I think you need to put things out there and plant things to
41:13
where you can see how people gauge with those specific
41:16
things. Yeah, you know.
41:18
It's not your and I'm not telling people to lie.
41:19
I'm saying you don't owe anybody full litany of your life story
41:26
right at the Echo. You don't have to arm people who
41:28
might be potentially dangerous with your vulnerable private
41:31
life and. Remember, you could be dating a
41:33
serial killer. You could, yeah.
41:34
You know, and I like, I'm trying to think of what are red flags
41:37
and women that we could just skim through really quick.
41:41
Well, let's think about this too.
41:42
I'm going to say this. I found this quite often that
41:45
men would do. Men would say, oh, well, you
41:49
want to come and meet me, you know, here non very public.
41:53
You want to come over to my house or you want to go and
41:55
it's, you know, seven, 8:00 at night.
41:57
No, why? And they men would get offended
41:59
and I would say, look, I don't know you, you could be fucking
42:02
Ted Bundy, a Ted Bundy tight. And I really don't want to be,
42:06
you know, dead put in your freezer.
42:07
Yeah, I don't want to be skull fuck.
42:09
And any dude with a rational mind would recognize that, oh,
42:13
women move through this world very differently than I I might
42:17
not have meant anything by by inviting Mia to my house, but
42:21
now I realize that like, oh, she's a woman.
42:24
And so she hit. She faces things like the
42:26
possibility of getting murdered. Yeah.
42:28
Or rape. Much more vulnerable, yeah.
42:30
And so I think that's another good way to see if someone is
42:34
decent, like do women, I don't know, do they say things like,
42:38
are they over invested in your money?
42:42
Yeah, money, material things, materialistic, are they?
42:45
I think it's OK if you pay for the date, if you pick the place.
42:48
That's how lesbians do it. Like the lesbian, whichever one
42:51
of us picked the restaurant, it's expected that that person
42:54
pays because we're the one who picked it, you know?
42:57
So do that. I don't know.
42:59
I don't Straight people, man, no.
43:03
And again, I haven't dated in years either, but it's kind of
43:06
like, do we go Dutch treat? Are we going to do Dutch?
43:08
Am I going to put out at the end of the day?
43:10
The other thing I will say this to a lot of people is if you're
43:12
looking for a relationship, don't sleep with that person
43:15
until you're willing and you visually see and feel that you
43:18
could be in a potential relationship with this person.
43:20
Yeah, you know, why give yourself, why give that piece of
43:23
yourself to someone? And I think, again, I think
43:27
women need to see a mystery. They don't need pictures of your
43:30
Dick. No, they don't need to see that.
43:32
They don't need to see stupid fucking pictures.
43:35
Don't be in your car and you have the phone in your lap and
43:38
you look down at the picture. That is not, it's not a good
43:42
angle. It's terrible.
43:43
So yeah, there's a lot of red flags and it's hard dating.
43:47
No, it really is. Do we want to judge a woman if
43:50
she has four kids with four different fathers?
43:53
Do we want to judge a woman like that?
43:55
Maybe, maybe You might want to ask yourself, what is the common
44:00
denominator here? Why did that happen again?
44:04
I watched the state line, but this woman got involved with a
44:07
man and his last two wives were dead.
44:10
They died, he was a widower and he come to find out he killed
44:14
both of them. Oh, he's a Black Widow.
44:16
OK. Yeah.
44:18
Nice. So he's a Black Widow for he
44:20
Really. Yeah.
44:21
God. Yeah, one woman, they said that
44:23
he ended up pushing her off a Cliff and made it look like a
44:26
hiking accident. And then another time he made
44:30
her get under a car to replace a tire to swap out a flat tire and
44:35
when he did the Jack mysteriously popped out under
44:39
and the car literally fell down on her.
44:42
Jeez, yeah. So now I I think that a lot of
44:48
people, they need, they don't need to talk about their exes,
44:50
they don't need to compare their exes to potential dates.
44:53
If you're not over your ex, you have no business being in the
44:57
dating realm right now. God, if you still have baggage.
44:59
And like, I think that there's gonna be wounds we all carry and
45:03
hurt. But if it is something that is
45:05
actively affecting your life and you are still not over your ex
45:09
in any way, even if it's like you hate them and you think
45:11
about them every day because you hate them because they hurt you,
45:13
blah, blah, blah, or you're pining after them.
45:15
Both of those things, even hate is a form of like attention and
45:20
the where the place you need to be with all of your exes before
45:23
you start dating is indifference because you're going to drag all
45:27
that shit, all those patterns into the next relationship.
45:32
And also reflect on parts of the relationships that you were in.
45:35
Even if you were that person wasn't the best person.
45:40
Is there parts where you had a part to play?
45:41
Because it takes to tango for a lot of things.
45:43
So even though I was in a really bad relationship, I still had
45:47
things that I did that I was not proud of, patterns that I
45:50
participated in, that we're not OK, that I had to reflect on and
45:53
learn and not carry those over. Because even in like, I guess I
45:57
see what I'm trying to get out is I see a lot of people like,
46:00
my ex is a crazy bitch and everything was her fault.
46:03
And it's like, OK, a lot of that might be true, but is, was there
46:07
nothing that ever happened in your relationship ever your
46:10
fault? Like, where?
46:11
Where did you go wrong? Yeah, accountability.
46:14
If they can't take that back, that's it.
46:16
Thing it really is. It really is.
46:18
Like I said, how many times do we hear from people?
46:20
Oh, you know, all my exes are fucking crazy.
46:22
That's a red flag it. Is and it's like, well, let's
46:25
see, what kind of women were you dating?
46:28
What scene were you in? What were you doing?
46:30
How were you representing yourself?
46:31
You know, were they settling? Were you settling?
46:33
Did you compromise your own values because you didn't really
46:36
want to see the full picture? Yeah.
46:38
And that's why I think a lot of people can be very blindsided by
46:41
the type of people that they meet and date and they're
46:44
willing to settle because they're lonely.
46:46
Yeah. And if you haven't dated for
46:47
years and you're closing yourself off to other people
46:50
rather than to get out to meet new friends and new people,
46:53
you're holding yourself back. Yeah, because you can get, you
46:56
can get like really good connections from platonic
47:00
friendships. And I think we're all a little
47:02
crazy to a point, but it's like, how?
47:04
How much crazy can you handle? What kind of crazy are you going
47:08
to tolerate it? There you go.
47:10
Well. Not fun.
47:12
That's a fun little topic. So great, Evie and I honestly, I
47:15
think we could talk about this all night long, but yeah, it's,
47:18
it's a lot. It's a lot.
47:19
It's a big topic. It is.
47:21
I'd like to have live here and to continue this and get her
47:24
live in Barbie, see what they think.
47:25
I don't like do a continuation episode.
47:27
Yes, Barbie has very little dating experience, but she did
47:32
have a longer partner, have very beginning stages of, of when she
47:37
started to date and married young and she's had one kind of
47:42
on off little relationship and then now she's dating my nephew
47:46
and it's very serious. So there hasn't been a lot of
47:49
dating with them, but they they all have a little body count,
47:52
you know, they can all attest to what kind of men they like or
47:55
women they like and who they like to meet and talk to and all
47:59
of that. But I think that overall, I
48:02
think men and women need to realize that life is too short.
48:04
Yeah. And being superficial or placing
48:07
blame on people rather than to it, like you said, acknowledge
48:11
their own mistakes and their own things that they do to enable
48:14
good, healthy relationships or or bad unhealthy ones, I think
48:18
all plays a part. And what kind of partner they're
48:21
going to be in their relationship.
48:23
Yeah. So on that note, even I'll let
48:27
you do the closing if you're ready.
48:28
I'm ready. Thanks again for being here.
48:30
It's been fun. Great seeing you.
48:34
You're like, I'm waiting for it. I'm waiting for.
48:36
You all. Right, so until then, this has
48:41
been the latest episode of. Call me Mistress.